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Being a programmer is easy!
It's like riding a bike
Except
The bike is on fire
you're on fire
everything is on fire
and you're in hell4 -
Python is so ridiculously easy and fast to write, I'm just waiting for the release where you just say:
def main():
make_program("RegExParser", "fast", "fancy")
And that's it...15 -
Boss asked one of our senior Linux engineers to look into an issue. When restarting a service, the person renting the server would get the errors e-mailed which occurred during the restart (it wasn't reachable so the service trying to reach it would throw errors).
Although this was very expected behavior, the client found it unacceptable! Boss asked the engineer to look into this while acknowledging that it was probably an impossible task except for if you'd just disable logging but then all debug info would be gone which we frequently use to debug stuff ourselves.
After two minutes:
E (engineer): fixed it.
V (boss): wait, WHAT? HOW?! I'VE BEEN TRYING TO FIND A FIX OR WORKAROUND FOR AGES!
E (with the mist nonchalant/serious face): I disabled the log mailing in the configuration.
B: 😶
B: .
B: .
B: .
B: 😂
Everyone was laughing. The client thanked us for 'solving' it xD6 -
Today I was hired to pentest a company's framework. While getting directions on what needs to be tested I counted 4times the sentence:
"We are a multi-awarded company for our security, virtually nothing gets past our firewalls".
Most of the PCs had Win9810 -
"Running the sample code is easy! Just git clone, make sure python, lua, gcc, docker and cuda are installed, and run ./install.sh. Easy!"
Me: Light 6 candles, sprinkle some thyme water with unicorn tears over my keyboard, start chanting an unholy hymn... shit... some compiler error from a library I've never heard of before.
Why can't these "interesting samples" come with easy pre-compiled binaries...18 -
->Be me
-> Learns computer science
-> Be like above average in class
->"Let's take this to the next level"
->Joins hacker rank
->does the beginners problems.
->hmm that was easy af
->Checks the "easy" problems
->Go to a corner & cry. ;__;4 -
Thursday: Hey wife…. I finished my project and tomorrow I should have a very easy day, just watching Slack.
Friday: Database— corrupted bin logs, major production outages.
Wife: 😡I can never believe you when you say you’ll have an easy day.3 -
Whoever thinks that coding is easy.
Fuck you motherfucker stupid chicken head nugget sized brain faggots. You think all we do is smash keyboards in front of our screen and it poops code and creates beautiful applications? Fuck you in particular.
One of my friend says sitting on computer for whole day is the easiest thing. What the fuck motherfucker.
One fucking string can fuck your life forever. Innumerable hours will be wasted behind one simple fucked up logic. And u shithead say its easy.
Get into my shoes and let me bang your head on the keyboard and we will see how beautifully it poops code.
Stupid people.14 -
I love how most of my friends that said they "like computers because its easy and you get a high paying job doing nothing" are quitting college in less than a year because "its too hard!"2
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Just realized no one in my class knew that Stack Overflow was an actual thing, not just the website. Too much Java I guess :D10
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So the tax authorities in the Netherlands have this slogan that roughly translates to:
"We can't make it fun, but we can make it easier."
I'm not sure how this is going to be easy for me. This arrived in the mail today.
Even worse this is a fuck up from them. They are saying our company did not do it's taxes but when we log in their online portal we can see that we did them. But they are saying that they don't see it in their system.
Who build that system?
Trying to stay calm when they are claiming I own them more taxes then my company has earned in a year.
I did not have enough sleep for this drama.
By the way how about we save some trees and don't send 30 letters on 1 day.
11 -
Start a development job.
Boss: "let's start you off with something very easy. There's this third party we need data from. They have an api, just get the data and place it on our messaging bus."
Me: "sure, sounds easy enough"
Third party api turns out to have the most retarded conversation protocol. With us needing a service to receive data on while also having a client to register for the service. With a lot of timed actions like, 'send this message every five minutes' and 'check whether our last message was sent more than 11 minutes ago'.
Due to us needing a service, we also need special permissions through the company firewall. So I have to go around the company to get these permissions, FOR EVERY DATA STREAM WE NEED!
But the worst of it all is... This whole api is SOAP based!!
Also, Hey DevRant!5 -
So yesterday a friend of mine closed a ticket which has been open for around two years: "Automatically publish job offers in our internal wiki."
This was the conversation between him and HR.
- Friend: They're all on our website. Why should they be in our wiki too?
- HR: So that our employees can see them and recruit people for us.
- Friend: How about I just put the link in our wiki?
- HR: No, no links. They should all just be in our wiki.
- Friend: *<iframe src="website"></iframe>*
Now HR and everyone else is happy. -
Always make smaller commits! Easy to roll back, easy to cherry-pick, easy to debug when identifying when something went wrong.2
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When the client says "I just need a really easy edit, shouldn't take more than a few minutes."
*in my head* "Oh really? Can you do it? No? Then don't tell me how easy it is going to be to find the one line of code I need to edit out of thousands of lines in hundreds of files."
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So python, who knew it could automate a lot of crappy tasks 😎
Actually I did, but god it’s so quick and easy to implement than expected.
I have a new formed respect for python devs after my day of web crawling and ftp transfers and outlook mining 😘7 -
Today a guy at work asked if it's easy to make an app. I said it depends on what he wants. And oh boi he was very disappointed the more i talked 😂 People really think it's an easy job4
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Rant
Told my boss I don't want to do the shit work. I need work that matches my job description.
He said ok. 🤷♂️3 -
After years or Windows, I bought a Mac.
It is a shitty OS.
Resizing windows? Nope
Uninstallign apps easy (some) ? Nope
Show/Hide files easy? Nope
Jump between chrome windows? Nope
Wtf is wrong with you Apple?34 -
Going to system engineer interview expecting technical questions. Very nervous.
First 'technical' question "what does DDoS stand for?"
Second "what does LTE mean?"
😐😐😐🙄🙄😏🤣😄😅😃 Gonna nail this interview.2 -
Reactdev, what kind of ui library that usually you guys use and really easy to understand? Something like material ui, react-table or anything like that. I just need a really easy components library that I can use for small projects22
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Remember that time I taught a "senior" full stack developer what the HTTP PATCH verb was, DURING an interview?
Didn't get the job.
Yeah. Those were good times.2 -
Accountant: Can we just get one big Excel file with all the transactions instead of separate reports that are filled out specifically for each dorm?
Me: Hell yes you can.3 -
My employer thinks their Wordpress site is great because it's so easy to find a Wordpress "developer". That's like commissioning artwork patched together from colouring books because it's easy to find someone who can use crayons.
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Helping a random junior out with an ML project on an online tutor site.
Her: So what is the syntax for implementing xyz function
Me: *opens Google* *opens pandas docs* *searches the function* *tell her the syntax*
She: Woah thanks a lot!
I collected my tutor fees feeling good about myself.10 -
Users and Bosses.
I honestly don't know who is worse, the end user or the boss.
The boss thinks all you do is click a button and everything just works, so everything should take 30 minutes to complete, why on earth would it take a week to do something?
The user seems to think every tiny idea is the most important thing ever to add, so they tell said boss it must be added, and boss normally agrees.
I get it, Marge (Fake name), adding in a copy button because you're too dumb to press ctrl + c is way more important than updating the security after a Ransomware attack.
No boss, I can't add in 30 new things and make sure the security protocols are updated all before the meeting in 15 minutes.
If you think it's all so easy and just pressing buttons, why did you hire me? Anyone who can read and press a button should be able to do it....
4 -
Been encountering way too many people who say that "Programming is easy" or "Learning to code is easy".
Like, yeah mother fucker we have education curriculums to teach kids. But that's not all there is to it.
This has the same energy as someone saying "math is easy" after learning 2+2=4. There's more a lot more to it dude.7 -
Who decided it was a good idea to use this as a desktop PC's adapter?
Yeah lets change the kind of cable you need to power on our pc to one that apperently nobody sells. Profits guarenteed.
4 -
Conversation with coworker at a staff function...
girl: ...we can't wait to see what you can do!
Me: Great! I can't wait to get stuck in, but you know, those exports you wanted from it, that doesn't have to wait. If you need that straight away, come to my desk and I'll make some queries for you and pull out the data you want...
Girl: o_0
Girl: ... Omg, you can do that?! You're awesome!!
Me later: o_0 - the Dev before me could never at least do that?!6 -
!rant
I get asked about being able to hack stuff, like cracking wifi passwords. Mostly I just go along with them and make up some stuff about how you _could_ do it. And explain how it is done, throw in some "yeah its tough"s and words they wont understand. Yeah with a dictionary attack and a powerful CPU with many threads you can definitely do it! You should try it! I say. Convincing them they can. Ofcourse, download kain and abel and look for something like aircrackng on google.
They won't amount to much and probably won't even try it, but I have a laugh. Seeing the hope of hacking and cracking fade away as a child's ice cream melting on a hot summer day.
Hehe2 -
Maybe not a new rant but: When someone asks you for a feature and always says "its easy and simple" ... Yeah right... 😡2
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Can U decode this secrate message?!
(Too easy don't panic!)
ehiiHGdDByDy4wfm8zNyYVCllF0vkKqqBLGXZ/cZyn/7xo2KfD8/qDsMJm3IK3oE7 -
I was searching for an internship while studying abroad (7h timezone difference, I was expecting some difficulty to communicate). I also sent my resume to a friend so he could pass it around.
So one day I receive this mail, with a company telling me they're interested in my profile. When reading through the previous messages below I see that actually my resume hopped from my friend to one of his to another person etc...
Quite glad that this human link brought me an opportunity, I ask for an interview over Skype. When we finally settle for a date and time, "interview" starts by him basically saying me : "We'd like to hire you, do you have any questions?"
Well that was easy 👍 -
Almost anybody. Right there alongside babysitting. All you developers are losers since almost anybody can code and make money.
MoFo normal beings. Don't know what it takes to write good code.
Lots of coffee
Lots of pizza
Lots of knowledge
And ability to say no to every stranger or friend who has an app idea and is willing to pay in shares 😤😤
5 -
Someone posted this to our shared channel. I'm so tired of people thinking that developers "just need to push a few buttons".
Am I crazy for believing that all I can accomplish in 4 hours is read their documentation (or there lack of), and maybe write few tests for the slew of things they'll be asking for??? And maybe, just maybe, get my local environment running.
Why does everyone think that developers know the location of the "magic button"???
3 -
Why people are saying Python is an easy language? I mean yes, if you write c/java code with python it may seem easy, but writing proper python code, in a pythonic way is not so easy.
SO DON'T TELL PEOPLE THAT'S IT EASY LANGUAGE because new commers later they come with absurd code and ask people to fix it.7 -
Going through university I was known as the programmer guy, so I sometimes did coding assignments for my lazy ass class mates for money.
Does this make me a bad person?8 -
So I started to write a small script that my boss asked me to do.
I thought I will be able to do the job simple in just one file.
after 5 days, mostly researching and writing like 10 important functions I gave up the idea of being easy and I configured it as a project.
Feels so smooth now.1 -
Why do people think that programming is easy? Like creating a website with everything seems to be so easy for people without knowledge...7
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"Wow! Programming must be easy! Why did you charge us costly?"
Just because I work at home and talking to myself does not mean it easy...
PS. even now I still feel like noob in programming5 -
On a programming lab the professor told us to use gedit to write our code because "it's easy to use"
No, thanks
*Installs a few plugins and uses vim instead*
Now *that's* what I call easy 😎3 -
That feeling when the code in a massive PR is of very high quality... Only comment is about some class name...1
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Java was made to be easy, but leaks features even c++ has.
Type inference
Java: was is that.
C++: auto, easy18 -
Just bought a knockoff controller for my gaming PC, plugged it in and I was playing Rocket League in 10 seconds. No driver install, no key mapping.
This is how everything should be.1 -
Finished my exam 💪 pretty easy because "programming" meant resolving If statements, language neutral
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I just transformed a sorting command that was seven lines long into an ungodly abomination that was about 70 lines.
We don't do these things because they are easy, we do them because we thought they are easy.
I will always remember that phrase and might never find out who came up with it.13 -
My dumbfuck hosting fucked up the mysqlnd installation and it is missing the pdo api extension. All my queries are returning strings for every field. It's easter so no support available. I've planned to deploy the new site in this weekend. Now i have to manually typecast after every query because i've used === everywhere. This will be a long day...6
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PM: "I have an easy question for you."
me: "Well let me decide if it's easy."
PM: "Where do the images for X in project Y come from?"
me: "Good question. No idea. I will come back to you."1 -
Being a programmer it is not easy.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Because you always have null pointer expression!!4 -
What popular tooth grinder are you happy you don't use? I have a couple, so I will start.
javascript or a js framework
windows
a desktop IDE
google chrome9 -
I code for 2 1/2 days straight, I'm in the zone, no comments, because I'm not in some comp sci beginners class, finish up, test it the only problem is with... All of it... Just considering writing another program to comb through that one and find the mistakes for me3
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It’s really easy to gain administrative access on unencrypted windows machines with a single usb. You know what’s also easy? Extracting admin passwords with mimikatz.
Edit: this was back in 5th grade2 -
Every time I pick up a ticket, it turns out to be a duplicate and another engineer is already working on it or it already is done. So I close the ticket and collect the story points. (Yes, morally correct would be to close it as duplicate with 0 SPs.)7
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Making a simple 2d game in unity for a friend:
Never used unity or C#, but this looks easy. Gravity is already there, background is drag and drop, etc. That shit is fucking easy.
I think the hardest thing is going to be the textures, and inkscape got my back on that!
Anyway, I really need to sleep but I’m just reading the tutorial!
LET ME SLEEP FUCKING DEV BRAIN!2 -
Overheard this on my way in this morning.
Head of IT: I had to hack a few of our routers because someone changed the passwords. -
C/C++ - complex, very fast, used for OS dev
Java - Comparatively easy, fast, used app dev
Python - very easy, comparitively slow, used for app dev
Then there is this boy
Rust - Just fucks you up10 -
Today I had the regional stage of the Romanian Olympics of Informatics.
There were 3 problems supposedly : 1 easy , 1 hard and 1 insane.
I spent time only on the "easy" one
No one took more than 50/100 at that problem :'(4 -
Just finished moving all my python code documenation from hand-written wikis to API docstrings and set it up to autodeploy to github pages with each commit. Feeling really hopeful about this, although its going to be frustrating going back to other languages that dont have inline docstrings.1
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When the project is going so good, no stress, every error you encounter you fix it in a second. You are inside your timeline.... you feel happy. But if it keeps going like this, it becomes a monotony and you get boring.
Have you ever had this feeling? When everything's going good and you still get bored? -
offending devs is easy -
String strName = " John";
String strGreet = Greet(strName.ToString());
return strGreet;11 -
Do you guys think that the frontend or a javascript developer is an easy job? is less than a backend developer?
let's discuss5 -
Not a rant actually, but what does this community think about Apple's "programming is easy, programming is for everyone, everyone should program"?15
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why I have to be such trouble to please
it wouldn’t be me if it was easy
why I have to be such trouble to please
it wouldn’t be easy if it was me -
This *is* a question you silly wrong tagging mother fucker, how dare you doubt me?
Alright, no more disclaimer: I like dungeons and dragons, but it's too fucking much in terms of rules and systems and shit, as in just *making* a character can take a long ass while.
And if that's the highest level of all your ANAL preferences then OK, but I'm not you and things only come OUT of my ass, not inwards, I swear.
Anyhoo, I got fed up with it and wrote my own ruleset and setting as a last fuck you to everyone. It's very simple: if you want to be some kinky magical alien hermaphrodite royal prostitute half sewer dragon princess and three quarters bearded female incest child of demons and fairies then FINE, but you get no bonuses for that shit.
Get it? No complex racial level scaling bullshit, FUCK YOU, race and background is just for vibes, end of story.
You get no attribute or skills or shit to distribute on level one. All you get is a prompt: pick three actions, that's it. You wanna be sexy? Pick "seduce". You wanna set turds on fire? Pick "ignite". Are you an edge lord? Pick "summon". Would you be my wife? Pick "heal", "buff" and "smite".
The game is turn based, and each action you can take is effectively a spell. Everyone can cast a basic spell like walk, attack, talk, crouch, etcetera -- that costs no mana. Special crap like flying and firing fucking electricity costs mana, and you can only do those if you either picked the spell on level one or learnt it later from a book/tutor/demonic bargain/whatever.
Which spells are valid for taking at level one is up to the game master; I just tell people to pick three verbs or short sentences, and if they choose something that's too broken like "split the Red Sea" I'm like nah you're not Moses, try again.
Still with me? Good. You get eight points of health, four points of mana, and one point of stamina. They're all energy, and you can use it to power your magery, but spending all your health means you fucking die.
Stamina recharges fully every turn, and is used for the aforementioned basic actions. All of these cost one point of stamina each. If you run out of stamina, you can use mana. Or your BLOOD.
Level one spells cost one mana, level two cost two and so on. You get back one point of mana each turn, and you can fire all the spells you want during it, long as you have mana. Or BLOOD.
That's good and all, but if you spend anywhere over eleven combined points of energy in one go, you spontaneously combust and die, erasing all signs of life in a twenty-meter radius. This is called incineration, and it *will* leave behind a blackened crater from which the dark servants of the Horror Immemorial may or may not crawl out of.
In case you didn't guess by now, your blood doesn't fucking come back unless you eat, sleep or see a healer.
But anyway, the more points you spend into casting a spell -- and remember, basic attack counts as a spell -- the more powerful it is, so the bigger your diceroll can get. My rule is I add one dice for every fourth point of energy spent, so (1d4), (1d4 + 1d6), (1d4 + 1d6 + 1d8), incineration.
Additionally, for every three points of energy spent, your spell can hit one more target. That's right, you like AoE? Then spend more mana, bitch. Oh, and if you're using shit like poison it lasts one more turn for every two points of energy spent.
How do we calculate damage? Diceroll over two and fuck your mother. Armor class? Resistances? Out of my face with that shit. Damage reduction is called "tyranny" and is for dungeon bosses only.
If you live long enough to get to level two, you *do* get attributes. Pick:
- Grit: +2 health, +1 to fighter shit type rolls.
- Cunning: +2 mana, +1 to rogue shit type rolls.
- Allure: +1 stamina, +2 to wizard shit type rolls.
- Spirit: +1 to elemental shit type spells.
- Faith: +1 to benefactor paragon asshole shit type spells.
- Hatred: +1 to demonic murder hobo destructive shit type spells.
On second level, you can pick one of the spells you know to get +1 to it, specifically. Eh, "+1" just means you get a bonus to some diceroll, no time to explain I'm running out of characters what the fuck.
On level three, the cycle repeats. Pick attr, pick spell. DONE.
Oh right, and weapons. Mostly just vibes, pick your fancy and fuck off. Normally, you can hit things one tile away; if you have a BIG melee weapon you can hit from *two* tiles away, and if you have a ranged weapon you can shoot anyone in sight, but you need to spend one point of energy to reload.
And there, all bases covered in less that 5000 characters with some flair to spare, now suck my fucking cock Hasbro.
What was the question? Oh yeah right, I'm gonna GPL this shit and put it in browsers. I think I'm going to write it in Kotlin but I'm open to suggestions. Would you guys like to play it/contribute to it's development for shits and giggles?8 -
You used to think that it was so easy.
You used to say that it was so easy.
But you’re tryin’, you’re tryin’ now.8 -
What would all you guys say is a good (preferably easy) language for writing CLI applications? Something that runs fast, the less dependencies at runtime the better, and (this goes lower on the list)of thess logic required for argument handling the better.26
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VS Code
Nano
Nano:
easy to use
easy to exit
VS Code:
Can easily turn into sort of a IDE with all the plugins available -
Any easy solution to solve the rubix cube? I saw some videos on YouTube but dint find any convincing algo which is easy to remember..3
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Fuck oVirt!
Fuck OpenShift!
Fuck everything Red Hat made!
Yes, they make the hard stuff easy, but they make the easy stuff sooo unnecessarily difficult...2 -
I think we should create another github, move every github users there and watch till microsoft buys our company for 2 million dollars.2
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this came super handy today
https://github.com/ollama-webui/...
chatGPT was down and I asked local:
"codellama"
It is quite good.
Super easy to install new models. and super easy to remove too.2 -
Used cocoapods to install VideoCore on demo. Everything's working. Nice!
Transferred to actual project - pod file has 'use_frameworks!' in it, fucked up the headers, project broke. Spent whole Saturday trying to solve it cos i suck!
..I thought I would be done in an hour.. -
I decided to delete Apache Zookeeper on my Windows system but I cannot delete
1)CreateTxn.
2)DeleteTxn.
3)SetACLTxn.
4)TxnHeader.
in "docs\apidocs\zookeeper-jute\org\apache\zookeeper\txn\class-use"
It should be easy to delete but Windows said it cannot delete the file. I try to delete using command prompt but it said access denied.
13 -
What's harder than trying to name a variable is to think of a memorable but easy to type password to a system that resets expires every 3 months with history checks.2
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I received a job posting recently which has php in it, I decided to avoid it for multiple reasons, but it got me thinking: why do companies seriously believe that php is "easy to learn/use/pick up"? It has an horrible syntax, a lot of inconsistencies and lacks functionalities... Is there something I am not seeing?3
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Those who are into web. What do you think is the best web framework? In terms of easy to set up, easy to learn easy to use and general pros and cons?5
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