Someone wrote a piece of code half a year ago. It's fuckin complex and recursive. And uncommented. Today it's my job to figure out WHY and HOW it works.
If it wasn't clear before, that someone who wrote it was me. I'm not sure if I was on some substances back then, but that shit is fast and I have no clue how I was able to create it. Perhaps it was the coffee overdose...

However, wish me luck figuring this thing out.

That is peak security:
- Require timebased OTP for login
- Also require recaptcha for login
- Select the frickin bus, palm tree and cross walk 93 times
- Finally manage to please the algorithm
- The 30 second validity window of TOTP expired

*GAAH!*

Fucking windows! I am so fucking done with this microsoft bullshit!

Hear me out here, i am a gamer. I need windows because it has the games (and software to aid those games) unlike any other platform. But windows 10 is basically already phishing andmalware at this point. I stuck to win 7 because it had a start menu and didn't totally drive me up the wall.

Just a short list of their bullshits: ads in the explorer window, ads in your taskbar reminders, data mining like it is nobodies business and trying to hide it, sharing my wifi access with friends (wtf), the fucking retarded new start menu, the crappy fullscreen apps which have less functionality than the actual proper desktop applications that you need to config what you want, and even then pushing multiple updates that simply broke peoples pc's. Fuck that, ill stick to 7.

They are making win10 worse by the week making it unlikely i will ever join that hell, and they are also aiming to force me there. Making windows store exclusives and dx12 only games. What am i supposed to do against that?! The current releases don't bother me much but fuck i figure it is a matter of time until the newest katamari game is their exclusive and i nanananana katamari damacy all over their platform.

And well all alternative os's are just out of the question unless vulkan rendering gets the upper hand. Then i'd switch to whatever stable distro and learn about our new penguin based overlords languages.

For now i will just stick to win7, suck on my thumb while in fetal position and hope it just all goes away.

You know what I envy Americans about? Your .gov domain.
It is so difficult here to detect if the website is honest or a scam because our government is too dense to put all their sites as subdomains of one trusted domain. Like dod.country.tld for the department of defense or justice.ministry.country.tld for the ministry of justice.
No, these idiots buy ministry-of-justice.tld, because no scammer ever could conceive the idea of buying ministryofjustice.tld to host a scam site.

At least publish an up2date list with domains I can trust.

Developers created IDEs with intelligent code completion and languages provide users with an annotation syntax to document their methods.

And then there is Python, nuking all the efforts of our ancestors by dynamic typing. And they are smug enough to call this laziness duck typing. "If it squawks like a duck, swims like a duck, walks like a duck its a duck".
Shit no, it ain't a duck because a fucking goose does all the same but is a mean bastard compared to a duck. You might pet a duck but only the craziest will attempt to pet a goose.

Fuck python and undocumented methods in particular!

We are soo sorry we missed you last Saturday night a bit before eleven.
We will try again to deliver your parcel, another day (or night).

Maybe. Maybe not.

LPT: Name your branch after your user name.

If you select the branch in your IDE the status bar shows "Checking out dbx12". So at least someboddy is checking you out.

It really grinds my gears if colleagues from non-technical departments attempt to use technical terms but use them wrong. It might be gatekeeping but please, use a technical term if you are confident you are using it correctly. Otherwise use layman's words. Using technical terms incorrectly sends our brains down the wrong road and we have to make a mental U turn. And you sound like a masterhacker from a TV show or movie.

What is wrong with Java CLI applications? Is it really necessary to output a billion lines consisting of INFO an WARN messages?
If I work some longer with beeline I turn into a Java application myself.

INFO: Writing rant
INFO: Clicking submit
WARN: Heart rate too high
ERR!: SHUT THE FUCK UP JAVA!

I use a library and it gives me some strange error message. No problemo, just file an issue on GitHub asking the maintainer if I'm plain stupid or the lib actually has a flaw. As it was a question, I have not posted a dump and all the shit.
Maintainer responds with a snarky comment about his crystal ball being broken and I have to submit a log, a dump, debug information and a bunch of other stuff.
Well, what choice do I have, I collect all the requested information, create a wall of text comment, all nicely formatted.
And the issue ends here. Myths say, the maintainer got asked to join Elvis on Mars.

I mean, why do you ask all the shit from me in a unprofessional manner just to stop answering? Just say "I have no clue why it behaves like this" and I know whats playin. But that's just ... sad.

Can companies please check their address policy for consistency before implementing some bullshit constraints? Literally happened minutes ago:

Me: __enters address "city"__
Website: Hey, I auto-correct your city to "City (Region)"
Me: __submits form__
Website: Whoa there, you can't enter braces in your city name!

Can we please make it a mandatory lesson in CS studies and related education that "No hello" is a thing?
I'm fine with greeting me before you state a question, that is polite. But it is impolite to send a DM "Hello $username" and then begin to type your three paragraph question while the other person waits for you.
Just use Shift-Enter and send it all in one message, the app supports long-ass messages!

I opened an issue on a repo telling the owner that placing a "test passing" badge on the readme but not having other tests than an "ExampleTest" and no tests of the actual functionality is bad practice and what he thinks about updating the readme.

The result was a deletion (not close) of the issue and a ban from contributing (issues, PRs) on any of his projects.

And it was not some small "ten persons use this" project but a large boilerplate project with 2.4k github stars and over 800 forks. You would expect a little bit more professionalism of someone with that popularity.

The only reason I ever switched to windows 10 was because I only use it for gaming and because DX12 would only get support for win10.

Then I realized: DX12 has been out for almost 3 years and there's only about 30 games that support it. There's only a handful of games that require it (which are of course Microsoft games I'm never going to play). I did some research and apparently most games even perform worse when running in DX12 mode.

I have been using win10 against my will this whole time now... 🤦🏼‍♂️

Who makes monitors which can only change the input if there is a signal on the currently selected input?

Monitor on -> VGA -> No signal -> Going to sleep

Like, let me change it to something which has a signal instead of directly going to sleep again?

Me sends the laptop to hibernate to get off the train. As usual, the laptop goes to hibernate and shuts off after a few seconds. Not today, today it decided, it likes it much warmer than healthy for it and now I'm sitting here with a hot laptop in thermal emergency shutdown. Damn it

What a fucking shit show. You buy an original DVD but cannot watch it because of a stupid copy protection system.
"Injects purposely damaged sectors into the DVD in places not read by most DVD players."
Well tough luck, VLC reads all sectors and chokes on the corrupted ones.
Here I am, sitting with a legally bought laptop, a legally bought DVD and a legally owned playback software, yet unable to enjoy my property.

THANK YOU HOLLYWOOD! >:(

Shower thought:

The anti-procrastination-technique "If it only takes five minutes or less, do it right now" is basically "Shortest Job First" for Real Life

Things nobody asked for: Yet another Slack redesign.

FFS keep the design stable, I like to remember where shit is. Stop moving it around every three months.

The $customer gets a device from us, with th wifi connected as specified in the order. $customer connects it to the mains and monitor, puts in the dongle and the connection is established.
Fast forward 3 weeks, now everything went south. The device does not connect to the network, the service is offline. Our first question: "Has someone modified the WiFi name or password?"
$customer: "No, there were no changes in the WiFi"

So the full arsenal of debugging the connection over LAN starts, interrupted by $customer unplugging the device "because he needs LAN now"

After sometime, we figured out, everything is fine with the device, and ask $customer once again, if the config $ssid and $password is correct.

$customer: "Oh, we changed the name to $ssid2 because it looks nicer, is that a problem?"

Internal: "Are you f*kin kidding me? I asked you exactly that"
Me: "Alright, that explains the issues. Please tell us in advance if you want to change something with the WiFi."

"You got hit by a directory server."

or

"You got slapd"

How to fix issues the easy way:

1. Provide users a way to raise issues
2. Immediately respond to new issues saying you added them to the internal ticketing system
3. Wait till the affected product reaches EoL
4. Tell the customer you are sorry, but as the product is now after EoL, you cannot use any resources on fixing the issue
5. Close the issue

Can we stop that trend of only showing the username field and then show the password field after filling the username clicking next? It messes with my Keepass browser addon.
Apart from that, it messes with human workflow as well. Enter Username -> TAB -> Enter Password -> ENTER. With that stupid UI you have to either focus the next button with Tab and hope hitting Enter does not already submit the login form or switch to mouse and click the Next button.

Me: Who wrote this fu$$in mess of code? Never mind, we will get the dirty hacker.
*Runs git blame*
*Silence*
Me: What a innovative way to solve the problem! I'm a genius!

Fuck api docs which are blatantly wrong. Wasted several hours on building an API client with pagination according to the api docs.

Turns out the actual implementation did not follow its own spec / api doc and returns values without pagination. And some objects are not objects but arrays.

I mean, next time I build an API client, I'll just fire a dozen requests on the endpoint, see what it wants and see what I get and maybe guess right what it actually does.

Dear bluetooth headset,
I know your battery is low, thanks for the notice. I have 1 hour work left, after that you will get your charge. I also know you underestimate your own power and can do more than an hour on reserve.

So suck it up and stop being a whiny bitch blaring your damn "battery low"-beeps into my ears. It's way too loud and beeping every 10 seconds will only strain your power reserves and my nerves.

Yours sincerely,
dev13

Who the fuck invented the glorified pile of shit people call laravel? Is this actually used in PROD for anything else than load testing a monitoring server by creating loads of error messages?
OOP exists for a reason, not to create bazillions of classes with static methods.
Dump that shit ffs!

What is the purpose of using MongoDB and then adding mongoose?
If you want schemas, relations and all the jazz mongoose offers, have you considered using a RDBMS instead of a datapile system? Most (probably all) SQL databases support schemas, relations and all the jazz you seem to need.

So, ask yourself: Do you really need the functionality of a NoSQL database or do you just want it because it's shiny and new and "everybody uses it (tm)"?

Why are there so many "curated list of X" on Github? I really liked browsing the trending page because I found several gems of OSS in it. But nowadays it seems chinese course materials, "curated lists" and so-called "H4Xx0r-Res0urces" share the space on the trending page. Has Facebook arrived on Github?

Todays "WTF Bitbucket?"

You can mark a PR with "Requesting changes" even if it was already merged but you haven't refreshed your page.

The whole PR page is loaded with a dozen independent requests but you cannot reload a single "widget" (e.g. Activity) without refreshing the page.
And then you do an API request "mark PR with request for changes" and the server accepts that, even if the PR is merged. Why? Nobody looks at a merged PR with Requested changes. You would expect a warning "cannot mark request changes, PR already merged" but no, Atlassian fucked up here again.

The new "PR experience" is shit. Just loading everything in a separate request does help nothing if I still have to reload the page to get an updated PR view.

Five words every developer hates:

"Welcome to the new experience!"

Me: _sends an email_
Mailbox: "OVERQUOTA! Operation not executed"
Me: Ah dang, Inbox already full.
Me: _deletes mails_
Mailbox: "OVERQUOTA! Operation not executed"

Me: WTF? I'm already deleting messages!

My department never has real pressure like real outside deadlines. Except for this project.
Now guess what happened during the final hours of the project:
Fuckin circleCI goes into "degraded performance" (last time it was "partial outage").
I feel like calling my friends Johnny Walker and Jack Daniels over for some late night work. :P

Hacktoberfest is out of shirts already. It is a bit weird to be sad about not getting a free T-Shirt and borderline choosing-beggar, but damn this year's shirt looks sick.
I feel a bit cheated :(

My complete day consists out of waiting for CircleCI. Why the hell is it slow af today?
I feel like playing fuckin Hay Day and am waiting for my carrots to sprout.

What the hell is wrong with recaptcha? It is solely there to be a nuisance, especially if I use a 2FA device. I do not fear hacking attempts against my username+password, because the 2FA will keep the lucky guess out.

Outlook just thinks it's smart by removing "extra linebreaks".
It's not like we had a special thought in mind as we formatted the plaintext mail as we did.
There is certainly no reason why we choose to break after exactly that word.
Outlook is much smarter than us, so we should be grateful for its insight. NOT.

And now we have to instruct customers to click the correct banner to display the linebreaks as they were sent.

And HTML is not an option in this use case.

Why redis, why?! You run "redis-cli -h <host>" and it looks like either it cannot connect to <host> or the redis-cli is frozen.

What was the fix? Adding "--tls" to the call. Why can't you just say "You are starting a non-tls connection to a remote but the remote wants to talk TLS"? Or give any other indication that you did reach the server but did not understand what it said and hint for TLS? I was hunting non-existent connectivity issues for hours just because there wasn't a good error message...

I'm excited about flutter, looks like it will make cross platform mobile dev more fun.

Also dx12 rtx real time raytracing. It would be cool to work on it at work. We do animations for short movies at work and render times are huge now.

I'm kinda suspicious for both though. Couldn't check it out yet.

Finally, my height-adjustable desk frame arrived! I even ordered from a vendor who ships from my country and not from the other end of the world to have it in a week and not in 12 months.
But alas, the vendor sent me two left legs, with the result of the cable being too short to set it up with my desk board. :(
So either I send the whole thing back to the vendor or I find an extension cable, luckily it uses molex connectors and not some crude proprietary plug type.
But seriously, what are the odds for that FFS?

Thats top notch design.
All actions happening on the page go to one endpoint. Removing old trusted computers, changing the password, changing 2FA, you name it.

Now if you want to remove all old trusted devices, you cannot remove all at once, there is no button for it. So you click one after the other. And then it stops working. Ok, then do the normal password rotation. Hmm, button has a loading spinner and then nothing happens.

Looking into the browser console:
- All requests go to /myaccount/security/graphql
- All requests get a 429 Too many requests
- Even if you just click a panel, it tracks the action to the graphql endpoint. Or at least tries to because even that gets shot down with a 429

Pretty dumb, eh? Must be some small shitty website. It's not. It's fucking paypal.

See image first, then read this for background info.
Living with cats and cats love to step on the laptop's builtin keyboard because you have an external one.
Disabling the internal keyboard on boot seems smart... until you start your laptop without an external one attached.
Also apologies for butchering the template a bit.

Building a dev/gaming PC - What do you guys thing about these specs:

+ Mouse Cooler Master Storm Mizar SGM-4005
+ Intel i5-6600K
+ SSD 2.5" Samsung 850 Evo
DIMM 8GB DDR3 1866Mhz Kingston CL10
+ Cooler Master Hyper 212
+ PSU 750W CoolerMaster GM series G750M
+ PCX GeForce GTX 1070 8GB GDDR5 DVI/HDMI/3xDP VR Ready DX12
+ Monitor 25" Dell UltraSharp U2515H LED IPS, 16:9, QHD 2560 x 1440
+ Keyboard Gigabyte K85 Mechanical Gaming
+ ATX Case Fractal Design Core 3500 Windowed
+ Motherboard (not sure yet)

Why can't Jira support standard markdown (as defined by Daring Fireball / John Gruber et al)?
Why does it need an own markup syntax and even fail with it. Using ticks ` for code once worked, now it lets the first tick stay, eats the first code character and highlights it as code. Just why?!

Why is laravel so poorly documented? Take \Illuminate\Mail\Mailer::send() as example. The third parameter is a callback. Nothing more. No info in the docblock what that callback does, when it is called or what the signature looks like. You have to go into the code and hope to find it out without climbing through a dozen classes.

If they are so sparse with the information in the docblock, they can leave it away completely.

Why is the bitbucket PR "experience" so god damn slow and sluggish? Every shit and their mom is loaded from a different endpoint but to get the updated list of PR approvers, I have to reload the page.
The fuck why?

Why do you support sessions for an API (not REST)??
You remove the token and still get positive replies because the session cookie allows it.
At least the session in the cookie gets killed when the token is invalidated, but really, why?