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Got a great boss!!;
Me: Hey, do we have a corporate GitHub account?
Boss: *excitedly* do we need it? We'll get it!
Me: uhh, yeah, we need it 😉
Don't care he doesn't know what it is, got his trust to get all the right tools!11 -
Wife has taken me to IKEA to get her wardrobe she wanted.
I hate IKEA...
She's finally given in and taken my suggestion to leave me at the cafe to code.
Happy now!
17 -
Moved in to new house, finally have myself a room for an office. Started to deck it out and the wife asks if we can find matching chairs, one for her, one for me...
It's more than an office, its supposed to be my man/dev cave!
11 -
I was told in an 1:1, quite literally, "not everybody can do what they want to do if they are not good at it..." - get fucked! The person I had to "report to" was an idiot (at the same senior level as I was) and obviously threatened.
Then moved down to customer support, where I was fired for fixing problems faster than going through the chain of levels, because I was creating quick scripts to patch the faulty data.1 -
"I want it looking and working exactly the same in IE6, IE7, IE8, IE9, Chrome, Safari and Mobile...."
Oh wait, that happened...9 -
Worst: Got made redundant from a senior development role in a shiny new company - two weeks before I got married.
Best: Got an offer 4 weeks later as a development manager in an enormous Australian distributor, and I get to concentrate on API development.
Best. Job. Ever.4 -
Next time my wife falls asleep on the couch, I am not going to play Battlefield, I'm going to work on my side project...
Yes I am...
Yes I am...
... Probably...
🤔5 -
That moment when you have refactored so much shit, then really broken the project, but can't see yourself doing a git revert because you had invested so much time and know ultimately it *needs* these changes...
Thank god I fixed it! 😌3 -
Wife asleep early, getting a great dose of Battlefield, maybe I can finally finish the last bits of my app tonight! 😮
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This wasn't an interview, but a massive rejection which I've never forgotten...
I was working beneath a director from hell. South African, very intimidating. If I was not able to dictate my work, he would give me an expression like I had just kicked his dog.
I think at the time, I had threatened the development manager when I had challenged the way we were running database queries and linked processes.
The director had pulled me into his office one day and said to me, literally, "not everyone can do what they want to do, if they are not good at it". Like seriously, what the fuck... I was doing a lot more than others even more senior to me, and I had just come on board learning the language on the fly (4th Dimension, don't ask...).
I digress... My heart just completely sank and I was left speechless. Two jobs later and I could give him the big finger.
These days in a development management position for a massive Australian company, so I know we all go through a lot of shit, keeps you humble.1 -
Conversation with coworker at a staff function...
girl: ...we can't wait to see what you can do!
Me: Great! I can't wait to get stuck in, but you know, those exports you wanted from it, that doesn't have to wait. If you need that straight away, come to my desk and I'll make some queries for you and pull out the data you want...
Girl: o_0
Girl: ... Omg, you can do that?! You're awesome!!
Me later: o_0 - the Dev before me could never at least do that?!6 -
I present to you the rubber duck I use for debugging.
that's right I dont have one. I just to talk to myself really. but what's curious is that when I do this, I tend to cock my head to a side, or turn slightly in my chair as if I was talking to someone just behind me. I didnt realize I was doing this until my cousin pointed it out to me coz it was creeping her out.
let me also mention that I used to have an imaginary friend growing up. his name's Jesse. I dont know if it really is just a weird mannerism or maybe I was still subconsciously talking to him.
3 -
It's so fucking hot today, just seriously fucking rediculous. Thinking of taking the laptop to code at the beer garden - will be the only way to get any productivity done.
Thoughts?5 -
Whatever duration estimate you have on a project, double it. Better in the clients eyes that you finish early than scrambling for time toward the end or finish late.1
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Being asked to do some really technical jobs in CSS, or have to re learn a new version of Ionic or Angular...
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Had a weird but wonderful moment with my boss a little while ago - not being able to completely explain what I wanted to, I actually used the phrase (without thinking) "because... Reasons...". I realised what I just said as he looked at me and laughed, somehow we both just understood and it summed up the conversation.1
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A form for an order checkout has a fucking stupid select box for comments... Options like "knock loudly" or "Ring doorbell"... 🤔
My wife had no way to put in a comment to say it needed to go to level 2! So I took over, inspected the element to make sure it wasn't using ID values for these stupid values, then replaced it with a text area with the same control ID, name and class.
Problem solved, felt like such a ninja 😉5 -
Fuck the people who come to you at 4:55/5pm... Seriously, you've waited this long, whatever your issue/question is, it can fucking wait till morning. Go home!!2
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Decided to work from home today to get some solid work done, and I now get a fucking guy with a leaf blower right outside our place!
😒😡1 -
2 loads of laundry... check
Bit of time of Battlefield to get rid of some stress... check
Glass of whiskey to keep me coding...check
Wow - I've actually got a few minutes to spare on my home project! -
A government website that I wanted to try and scrape data from to make a better app, I've actually found to be the pinnacle of a demonstration of what NOT to do...
Containing a JavaScript file that not only had got code copied 3 times (changed the tiniest bit on each) for what environment it's on, but has ALSO got the API keys for all 3 environments, AND the APIs they've made it call from there pass FULL SQL right in the query string...
What. The. Actual. Fuck?!5 -
Ranting to the wife about 3rd party API authors and how they have broken them from time to time.
On any given URI, it should give me a certain image, some give me a simple error string "Error downloading file" - nothing I can do to fix on my side, the error indicates they were not able to retrieve from their sources.
W: you should check the settings! *... series of unusual suggestions follow*.
Me: Yes, dear. Good ideas. -
This has been an interesting week! In my first management position, my first person to hire as a senior frontend developer has been approved!
Also made some killer API's this week! Show me the love!
The hunt is on! Heading to two meetups in Sydney next week 😉1 -
Posted a question on Stack Overflow today for the first time in as long time... Have lost faith, what shit some suggestions people have.
- Clear the cache, check again...🤨
- Your code is wrong, I tested it my way, you need to change.😒
Read the fucking post properly and gauge some level of expertise... I clearly wrote that it WAS working, the bull shit your detailing is completely irrelevant.
Fucking idiots...4 -
That moment when you finally get a project to work when you have gone through shitty documentation and small fragments of forum question and answers...
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What a week!!
Seriously exhausted. Crunch time to launch a brand new service... Pulling all nighters and stress.
Looking forward to having many beers with the boss to celebrate once it's a done and dusted. -
Something which is becoming a big pet bug peeve of mine... Chat bots being classed as AI...
Seriously?? Gives a response of context 2 or 3 levels deep?
Saw a news bulletin of a guy being questioned on the guidelines of putting AI in an app which builds quiz questions from Wikipedia - look out world, the robots know a lot of history!
The Google engineers building proper AI would be wetting themselves... -
One coffee down and my eyes are just glazing over my code and wondering... right... what is it I gotta do now ... ? What day is it ... Where am I ...3
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Fucking fuckers!!! Why the fuck EVERY time I work from home, there's gotta be some jackass with a leaf blower, drill or chainsaw...4
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First exposure, nice question!
I've been told an Amstrad was my first computer (showing my age..), apparently taught me to read and write.
The Commodore64 was the machine I first fell in love with. I was just as interested in learning BASIC as I was with the games. Tried to use the books which showed page after page to write in the code but that took me so long, TL;DR...
Through the years, my parents did what they can to nurture this passion. Was blown away when I got the 486, even more so with the 686!
mIRC scripting followed, that had an amazing community, made a series of add-ons and chat bots.
Then got in to VB6 quite heavily and made a range of programs.
Had a friend who needed a web project done, so I recommended PHP based, and to help him out, I smashed as much learning in to it and pulled it off in a week, whatever the language, I've loved sinking my teeth in to it! -
My wife and all of our friends are Brazilian. When they are all talking in a group in Portuguese, my mind wonders off and wishing I was back doing my coding.
Like, if you want to include me, talk my language! English, PHP, JavaScript... All acceptable.2 -
!dev
Ladies... I promise that your men (most of them) are trying... We fail a lot, but we are trying...1 -
Power adaptor down, will get replacement, but having to set up a small Dev environment on the wife's laptop...
Could be worse, I suppose... -
In this order:
- Coffee
- Coffee...
- Music with a quality pair of headphones
- Still struggling? Walk away from the desk... anywhere - even the loo
- Repeat -
Oh man, stands out first in my memory. Was going ok until my original boss got transferred in to another department... The first replacement was one of our HR managers 🤔
The person she then made as similar to a team lead had issues with me when I had just a bit of a different perspective about a problem to solve - I soon found myself in technical support. Go figure...
I'll never forget what one of the directors said to me a little while after they shifted me:
"Not everyone can do what they want to do if they are not good at it..." I look back on that heart breaking moment and say with pride: FUCK, YOU.3 -
Am on my way to a Meetup, giving a talk on a database class I've designed - bit different to the norm - hope they like the concept I came up with!
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Doing a MEAN stack application which I'm hugely confident will be my most successful. It's 95% done, finding that last bit of time needed to finish extremely challenging, but will be so excited to show it off to you all!2
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!rant
Start my new job tomorrow, biggest one of my professional career by far! Uber excited!!
Wish me luck! 😊👍3 -
Service I was needed to integrate to our system had such poor documentation and a separate pricing tier to access their APIs...
... Not having it. Used Guzzle to perform both the authentication and their search page, then made wrote a function to web scrape the result.
Job done. 😎 And yes, I have no shame to say I love PHP.2 -
Got a NodeJS social media server I'm building for a side project, inches away, but my wedding looming - goodbye free time! Haha
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Fucking excel...
I opened up my CSV and changed values in one column... You fucking didn't need to take it in yourself to change all of my dates in another column to one you prefer, they were fucking fine! -
Fuck this documentation is shit! Param names aren't correct and some API's expecting a different parameter than it is even named for!
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Regretting I ever put Mongo on this app's stack... It's been great to learn in the process, but man it can be a bitch to setup sometimes...
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Created a CRM for the business which integrated every database in the network, SQL Server, Postgres, Firebird and MySql types. Evolved to writing a series of procedures which replaced a staff members full job though..
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!rant
Just been told that my company needs to make my position redundant - and I have my wedding coming up!! Awful day... Anyone need a seasoned developer?1 -
So this past few days of a mix bag of emotions. Friday's weekly deliverables on our first dry run at launch, I squeeze across the line in an embarrassing finish. Decision to proceed with the live run to be delayed, not going to happen if I've got something to say about it.
Next day, vendor on the house my wife has purchased (our first!!) and says we can move the settlement date ahead 4 weeks! Winning!
Monday, meeting with all stakeholders on the fuck up that was my deliverables I'm responsible for, granted a conditional pass. "Don't worry, I got this."
Tuesday, received the results of a technical challenge I've given one of the developer candidates - he smashed it. Keen to give him the job! -
I've never gotten drunk while coding, but definitely a whiskey always is the finest accompoint to writing some beautiful code 😉
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Why the fuck...!
Wrote code to import a spreadsheet... A "class code" field is in there to define the the product category... But when no products matching I find that the number is the result of a concatenation, one half of which is not in this file...
Just... Why... ?!?!?! -
Who the fuck holds a meeting/workshop from 10-3, in the kitchen?!! Not even any prior notification, just 30-60 minutes before... We have plenty of boardroom and meeting rooms... Disrespectful. If everything is full, book this for another day!
Annnnnnd, you chose the kitchen that has the coffee machine?! 😭 -
Had a Java teacher in my local TAFE start his lessons going further and further in history till he got to tape drives... Put students to sleep, literally...2
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Wow! This is a popular topic!
I would say myself... Many developers I look up to and impress the fuck out of me... But I think I'm still not half bad.
However, while I haven't met them, the number of times I've had to clean up the shittiest code from developers who have been and gone is astonishing... So... So bad... Like what the actual fuck... -
Politely suggested the wife should take the car today to run errands and I'd take public transport to work today.
Hopefully the only regret I'll make today.2 -
FUCK!!! Had my cordova app set up nicely in Phonegap build, and now something has updated in their platform (or the author of the broken plugin) which is breaking the whole compile!1
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Too much wrong with this...
Test your template before sending, noobs!
And... Where oh where is the unsubscribe link?!
1 -
Having not touched my cordova/phonegap project for so long, so many updates... removing and adding of plugins... Ohhh the pain! Errors, errors everywhere!1
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Saw a bit of chat of Windows Defender being not such a bad free product... Is anyone here like me (and old enough to be in the tech world at the time) and miss Norton's products, _before_ it was taken over by Symantec?1
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Lol, a date selector for date of birth using mobile doesn't let you select a year, so it put in 0001 by default, and second stage of profile I get an immediate welcome email which days the service is suitable for seniors.
What an insult as both a developer and as a general consumer.. -
Was tasked to implement a PIM, they suggested Akeneo, but I wanted something I could scale out to my imagination. Frontend Design is not my thing so I ripped out the template of Akeneo...
Hello best of both worlds! 😂1 -
Conversation with fellow dev this morning:
Him: What are the chances of putting an API for this in to staging?
Me: I'm working on it now.
Him: Good stuff, so if I check this other one, it should go through?
Me: Yes, it should.
Him: I'll test it now, because "should" === "shudder"
Me: "should" == "shudder", but "should" !== "shudder" 😉
Him: Shud up 😆 -
!rant && dev
Before I dig deep and pick the minds on S/O, I'm trying to test an app (Cordova) on my wife's phone (Samsung/Android 7) - the feature I'm testing works fine on mine (Huawei/Android 8).
Where it seems to be faulty is making a WebSocket connection to my server - is there any known issues people are aware of? Recent security updates or something?
I'd jump straight on to USB debugging, but last time I tried to do this on Samsung, it simply failed to show up as a known device - tried loads of drivers...1 -
Wrote some awesome methods in my application which writes products and their variations directly to SQL for a WooCommerce shop, avoiding uploading any images and constant handshakes for thousands of API calls for each product.
Been heavily criticised for it though as bad practice and to just use the API. I say fuck you, it's lightning fast and works well. Sure the API spec could change in a year but these methods will scale well.
Who agrees? -
AWS... I love ya, but seriously, what the fuck. Why is it that when I script to write a file to /tmp, you choose some other location...
Where the hell did the file go?!3
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