Client: Can I speak to the developer responsible for my website?
Developer: Speaking...
Client: You have a deep voice for a 5 year old.

Speaking of bad dev days, what a week I'll be having.
Lead-dev: I've got some bad news for you.
Me: Client X?
Lead: Client X.
Me: How many pages do I have to change?
Lead: All of them.
Me: On how many of their websites?
Lead: All of them.
Me: All of them?
Lead: All. Of. Them.

Worst meeting I've been in?

The one where I was told by my lead and the senior that my new colleagues were having trouble speaking to me because I'm a "strong, independent woman" and that I need to make sure I don't scare them when I approach them.

-_-

Part of my job involves speaking with users on the phone and I really don’t mind it except for THESE PEOPLE:

Me: Hi! XYZ Co. this is Tawzer!
Them: Hi Tawzer this is blah blah I need help with the website I just can’t figure it out!
Me: Okay! Let me ju-
Them: Yeah you know I’ve been struggling for hours with it I really don’t have time for this.
Me: Oh I imagine! What’s your-
Them: Well I was gonna try and get everything done today by 3 but with all of this tech stuff going wrong I just don’t know...
Me: That sounds frustrating, can i get your-
Them: Is this going to take long??
Me: Nope! I just need to know your-
Them: like I said I just really don’t have time for this!
Me: ........ What’s your-
Them: well I-
Me: WHAT’S YOUR USERNAME
Them: Uh I don’t know can you look me up? I didn’t know I’d need that.
Me: 👩🏻‍💻

Huge developer convention with 4 speakers today.

Google Cloud,
AWS Amazon,
A government innovation team,
and Me!

I'm freaking out.
Wish me luck, I need it...

Most awkward moment of my life happened 10 mins ago.

I really enjoy playing a sad trombone sound when someone says something stupid. I even have a widget on my phone's home screen so that I can play it almost instantly.

It's actually very funny when I use it with friends.

So, today I walk in the office during a rather heated argument between my boss and a sales lady who has been in the company forever.

I sit on my desk and pull out my phone to connect it to the charger since it was getting a bit low.

As the boss completes his phrase and there is that half second silence before the other person starts speaking I accidentally pressed the trombone button, playing the sound at full volume for a full 2-3 seconds that, needless to say, felt like an eternity.

Don't think I'm getting fired but God it was awkward.

Whenever I mistype, "git status" as "git statsu", I thought I was speaking Japanese. 😂

Speaking of shitty situations

Sometimes I get really annoyed when I'm with people and someone starts speaking loudly and changes a good topic :/

Quote of the day:
“Don‘t ever miss a good occasion to shut up!”

3 hours of interview end up asking me

“Are you Chinese”
“Why don’t you look and sound Chinese”
“We only hire Chinese speaking candidate”

After told them that I withdraw my application as they only hire “Chinese speaking candidate” , they started to yell “you not professional , you waste time , I will ban you for life, you quick quick go away.”

So I ended up telling people not to join that company.

**Colleagues Speaking about some political issues**
Me: Why what happened in that council?
Colleagues: Are you living under a rock or what?
Me: No, I have been living inside a shell. Why?
Colleagues: Stared for 5 seconds and continued with their topic.

I so badly want some programmers in my office ☹️

I'm impressed about how everyones english among DevRant is nearly flawless - it's users are based all around the globe and still, I know nobody in real life who is even near fluent in speaking English (fellow German potatoes will probably know that feel)

Awesome! 😀

WRITE IN C ('LET IT BE')
When I find my code in tons of trouble,
Friends and colleagues come to me,
Speaking words of wisdom:
"Write in C."
As the deadline fast approaches,
And bugs are all that I can see,
Somewhere, someone whispers:
"Write in C."
Write in C, Write in C,
Write in C, oh, Write in C.
LOGO's dead and buried,
Write in C.
I used to write a lot of FORTRAN,
For science it worked flawlessly.
Try using it for graphics!
Write in C.
If you've just spent nearly 30 hours,
Debugging some assembly,
Soon you will be glad to
Write in C.
Write in C, Write in C,
Write in C, yeah, Write in C.
BASIC's not the answer.
Write in C.
Write in C, Write in C
Write in C, oh, Write in C.
Pascal won't quite cut it.
Write in C.

Boolean logic

- Was working in a JS file for a website.
- Decided to move file into a folder for better organisation.
- Made folder, copied file into it.
- Spent 30 minutes wondering why changes weren't working, questioning my JS skills and life in general.
- Called friend asking for assistance, he's as confused as I am.
- Realised while speaking to him that I never deleted the file that was copied, and had been making changes to that the entire time.

Needless to say I was a little bit embarrassed.

Last week we had a short seminar at work about 'listening skill.'

In that speaker gave an example how 'natural' leaders speak last in the meetings.

From that day we are having entirely silent meetings.

Now management is planning seminar on 'Speaking Up'

Well that's a first.
A Chinese recruiter contacted me speaking entirely in what I suspect was Mandarin.

My resume and posted work experience lacks any mention of Mandarin, Cantonese, etc. Then again it also lacks any mention of Java, and yet recruiters still call me a Java master. 🤔

Hi this isnt actually a rant this is the girlfriend speaking (or typing hihi) i just wanna say how interesting this platform is. Bye 😊👋🏼

Microsoft announced Visual Studio 2017. Yeah, Party.

I am so hyped, because with it comes C#7.0. I am speaking of tuples, pattern matching and local functions. This will be great. Soon ☺️🎉

Setting my ssh banner to an instance of cowsay speaking the navy seal copypasta is one of my best ideas yet

Speaking of casual days... Once I had to use a simple 30cm ruler to measure server's RAM usage.

Alrighty then, so you can do this and it'll still work...

Like, I suppose technically speaking it makes sense....

There will always be that one person who ruins all the fun

PS: Speaking of JQuery, I really found it to be somewhat slow. Is it slow or am I doing something wrong?

Today I:

Me: "You wrapped 2 p tags and one div inside a button tag....why?"

Other dude: "What do you mean why?" * in condescending tone

Aaaaaaaaaaaand

I lost my shit.

To make things short. My manager told me I have to try harder to not speak to people in intimidating ways.
In all fairness...mr "associates in programming with 0 css experience" WAS condescending when I asked him why he did what he did.

The little shit earned it. And he will probably think twice about his damned tone when speaking to me.

Had an interview with ibm last week, got rejected because I don't have public speaking and people skills.
GG AWESOME!!

Shared devRant to some of my Chinese speaking dev partners.
Partner: It is interesting to know that dev rants are language independent.
Me: Developers talk in programming languages, which are the same throughout the world.

What's up with guys and girls using the 'def' word? It's like they're speaking Python.

guy: "sup babe. Wanna grab coffee later?"
girl: "def baby"

Me: I can fix that workflow in about five minutes, In fact I can do it right now as we are speaking on the phone.

Customer: okay well... let me contact the director and make sure it’s okay that you fix it.

Me: I won’t make any changes to how it functions I’m only going to make it work again as it used to

Customer: we might need to schedule a meeting to talk about this because I’m not sure that we should be changing the site without permission

Me on the inside: I literally have global admin rights, unlimited power in Sharepoint, am responsible for making sure this stuff works, and BUILT this fucking thing, so now that I’ve been alerted of an issue I’m going to fix it. You are welcome to blame me if your boss is upset about it but I’m not going to wait for a fucking meeting to make sure it’s okay that I update a god damn email address in a workflow.

Me IRL: okay sounds great let me know when it is :)

Recruiter call me for a position in his company and after speaking for a while he asked me to refer him in my company 🤣

Sister: What is "sudo"?
Me: it lets you do things as another user
Sister: Stop speaking computerese!
😑

Overheard my boss speaking at the pantry.
He tells the sales to promote to potential buyers that our product will only take 2 days to setup but actually the dev team has been alloted 2 weeks.

How the in fuck could we deliver 2 weeks worth of effort in 2 days!? WTF boss. Fuck you, and your double chin. I am tired of your shit.

Fuck Firefox's CSS engine! Why is it so fucking buggy?

I needed to position some elements in a circle, so I used Math.cos(Math.PI / 2) to calculate their x positions. So, mathematically speaking, that should return 0, right? Turns out in JS it doesn't (because fuck precision). It actually returns 6.123233995736766e-17 and I was using that in the style, like top: offset + that.

In chrome it was working perfectly, but in Firefox all hell broke loose. All animations stopped working, scripts stopped working, demons were eating people alive.

And I lost hours hunting that down. My fault because I should have tested it immediately on other browsers, but fuck!

For the first time in ages I decided to order a takeaway.

Had a quick check on the takeaway's online menu. My order total was going to be £15.60.

I called up to order and the total was apparently £21.40.

I queried this with the member of staff and mentioned I got the prices from their online menu.

I was told the online menu was "slightly out of date".

When I got into the takeaway to pickup my order I got speaking to the owner. He said the menu on their site was from 2009. He stressed updating the menu was on their list of things to do.

Lol :)

After doing the work he requested as he wanted he was not happy. So i thought we sit and discuss what he didn't like. I was so wrong.

...
Boss: "...you know what I think you are: a fraud; Masquerading as a developer. The database design you have given is shit. The template I gave you I did in 1 hour. You took half the day."

He gave a simple template to use and he told me to come up with an ecommerce db design via downloading PrestaShop and seeing what is relevant to us.

Me: "what did I do wrong?"

Boss: "you think I don't know what PK means in database design? Why the fuck did you put this here."

Me: "can I expl..."

Boss: "I'm not finished, you been here half the month and what work have you to show for it..."

Me: "I have..."

Boss: "You shut up when I can speaking"

Me: "ok"

Boss: "You have no work to show for the time you have been here. I tell you what to do. I want someone who is proactive. My friend, you will do the work I tell you to do, you understand?"

Me: "yes but can I just say that I have been doing your work I have the contact the various developers as you..."

Boss: " You shut up when your boss is speaking. Can you do this work? (Slightly long pause)

Me: "I can do it. But, I have done the bits of the work you said I do. I was h..."

Boss "don't give me bullshit stories...you haven't done the work..."

Me: "But you have spoken"

Boss:" You know what Im giving you 1 weeks notice if you are not able to do the work. Can you do it?"

That moment!!! I was literally shaking I could have high fived his face with his laptop.

Me: "yes I can"
Boss: "Then get the fuck out of my sight and do it"

Recruiter: Hi practiseSafeHex, you were speaking to one of my colleagues recently and I know at the time you said you weren't interested in interviewing with us. I just wanted to check is that still the case?

Me: Yes I haven't changed my mind since last week. You still have awful things on your glassdoor page for my country, and its still a role / area i'm not interested in. Please read my responses and please fuck off

Speaking of pushing test notifications in prod...

I am interviewing people for a job position with python knowledge.

My first question is how to reverse string and second one what’s the difference between set and list.
So far no one knows.

Fairly speaking I am asking only basic questions about what is decorator, generator, lambda. Also some basic data structure questions.

Is it to hard ?

I lost my faith in humanity.

Google told me I was speaking their language and asked if I wanted to play a game in a very Matrix-esque way. I'm now in the middle of coding challenges and when I finish one of them a ascii white rabbit hops across the in browser console. You have my attention Google, well played.

I'm a junior developer working on a project that's completely out of my scope. I've missed deadline after deadline and my boss + the customer are getting very pissed off and impatient. This project has got me feeling sick. I'm not sleeping well and honestly thinking about leaving my job just because of this 1 project.

I've tried speaking with my manager but she just says, complete it ASAP to the best of your ability. It will take me months to get it right but I am really struggling.

I'm just looking for some advice please? Has anyone else been through this? Do you think leaving is stupid?

Thank you ranters 😃

my mind is multithreaded but can not physically execute more than one thread at a time.

i.e. i want to say 5 sentences in the same time bc im too lazy to wait and say them one by one after a specified delay of time, so i fuck myself over while speaking.

like atomic regions, i bust a few words from time to time from different sentences i have in mind and it ends up not making any sense to what im saying, but it does in my head.

so this is what too much covfefe and sleepless coding nights does to people

I really love taking HR mandatory training concerning covid-19 that apparently speaks for me.

Did you guys know that I was dying to go back to work instead of remotely doing everything from the comfort of my fucking home?? and that my biggest fear was that i would be at home too much and missed the workplace?
No? well, me fucking either. I was way the fuck more productive working from home that being in my office dealing with stupid shit all day because i was constantly being interrupted.

Pretty sure my employees felt the same way when I yelled from my office :"y'all this training is some bullshit and apparently you guys were fucking dying to come back"

and one of them yelled "ahhh hr speaking for me again!!"

Fuck brainwashed trainings.

This greek-speaking fucker (who wasn't Greek, he just spoke the language) went full bitch mode when he found out I recommended against giving him a promotion.
While screaming for an hour he called me "ornitophagos", or something that sounded like it.
I'm not quite sure that "chicken eater" is an insult, but it surely seemed like one. Maybe it was some weird attempt at hinduphobia, dunno, I just changed my recommendation to "sack the fucker".

Worst things about being a dev? Boy, this will be a long one!
- Whatever I do, be it hard work or smart work, I feel I am always underpaid.

- Most people who don't know tech feel my job shouldn't take that long. "Oh, a website that should be easy." "Oh, REST services, that's cute!"

- Most people who know a little tech will be like, "Here is the code for this on Google, then why are you charging this much"

- Companies like Microsoft and Apple who are too cool to follow standards.

- Always underpaid!

- The friggin compilers and random environment vars. Sometimes you make no change and the code works on a restart. I mean wtf!

- Having to give/meet deadlines, when we know most of the times things get out of control.

- Having to work for jerks mostly who don't know squat, and can't tell the difference between a CPU and a Wooden box.

- Sometimes I wanna take a break from my laptop(traveling and stuff) , those are the times I get the maximum work load!

- Did I mention we are always underpaid?

- Because of the kind of work I do, finding a girl has been challenging. Where the heck are they!

- We have to stay always updated. Often we deploy something using a framework and the next day we see an update.

- Speaking of updates, I hate having to support for OSes like Microsoft.

- Speaking of OSes, I hate Apple!

- Speaking of Apple, I feel we are underpaid, de javu?
...
How much would you hate me if I wrote "just kidding" ?

I'm finally speaking in meetings :)

"What type is that?"
Me: A truelian.

Whenever the talent hunter omits the pay and starts speaking about the benefits and the team spirit, you know they expect that they can underpay you.

Even when am speaking
I can't say if without else

My boss just passed me few tasks that my coworkers fucked up. They have more experience, but they do not follow any code style standards and usually write shitty spaghetti code. I'm pissed off and angry because it's not the first time and I'm tired of fixing things that they ruin. Do you ever had any situations like that? How do I handle this? I'm speaking of two particular persons, not a whole company.

If you fail at management, start speaking on conferences about "agile"

My non-English-native-speaking dev brothers and sisters, the proper preposition is "for" not "since" when speaking about a length of time. For example:

"I have been studying CS for 2 years."
"I worked at Google for 6 months."
"This house has been on the market for 4 weeks."

I think some ESL class has been teaching everyone improperly.

During my first year of working, I was offered to work part-time at another company. I actually took it to my supervisor and asked for his advice.

He began with a sigh, he knows that I like programming so much and wants the job because I wanna do more programmings. He gathered his thoughts and said calmly, "Look, I cannot stop you if you want to, but think about this, you already are doing programming for five days a week here. Take those extra times you have to develop other parts of yourself. Go learn public speaking or something" or something along that line.

I gave it a deep thought, took the advice, and rejected the offer. I eventually went on to commit myself on volunteering for the next two and a half years, and secured a promotion about a year from that conversation because my supervisor sees improvements in my communications with others and my soft skills in general (unlike programming, you can't volunteer in an organisation without speaking to people).

Sometimes we programmers only wanna code that we forget that what we're building are for humans and involves other humans. You wanna be the best at work? Try to grow on your horizontal axis, too.

Stand up on Zoom...
Day 1: No one knows who will speak their daily tasks first or last
Day 45: There is mutual order which appears out of the blue and everyone has their own sort of roll number for speaking in stand-up meeting😂

It's hard to know WTF is going on in this lame-ass company when everybody else is speaking a different language. 😑

1 year and a half ago, I quit the job where I spent almost 6 years; My first job after that was as a freelancer for certain company here in colombia, but after sometime I learned that freelancing for local companies is not well payed at all, so I decided to try to work with toptal(a pre-vetted freelancer platform)

So the process included a first interview with a HR person, it was a british lady that mopped the floor with me(she wasn't rude at all but I felt horrible) 'cuz I couldn't speak english good enough, and then I was rejected... Some time down the line I created a rant for anyone that were willing to speak sometime to practice english conversations. @jesustricks and @orhun answered and in fact I got to speak with them.

@amyshackles spoke with me too, I reached her out over linkedin 😊

Just wanted to say thank you, finally I got a job offer with a nearshore company, you helped me a lot there, speaking with you people gave confidence and more knowledge. Again thank you, love you guys.

PS: you don't have to love me back

Dev: Writes "this feature will take some time..." (proceeds to list bullet points touching on the main modifications required)

Manager: Can you explain what you mean by "takes some time?"

Dev: ...

Manager: ...

Speaking of work stations - once upon a time there were not many screens on my desk.. and it was the best ;)

You know how, sometimes, you start being tooooo proactive and implement stuff even though your boss never told you to do it? Well, that happened at my previous job, and apparently almost everyone at the team questioned the changes and made me look like the fool I was. That day, I learned that you should never implement stuff that wasn't asked... And it was humbling, since I was an arrogant fuck and basically I was speaking loudly and denied the criticism... But today, I'm better, I know how and when to shut up, and I accept criticism now.

In the process of moving our web store to Shopify (yuck!) and we are first creating 150000 fake orders through the API so that as we import our real orders, the numbers match.

I'm disturbed by the fact there is no better way to achieve this and after speaking with support they said our best bet would be asking about it on the forums.

Hi, here's how things are working now:
– Me and MerryBandOfDumbasses1 are doing project 1.
– Me and MerryBandOfDumbasses2 are doing project 2.
– Me has project 3 for work with this adorable boss I'd hate to disappoint. (Anyone watching Brooklyn99? He's my Captain Holt)
– Me has to deal with thesis.
– Me is having trouble keeping her head above the water. (emotionally speaking)

Conclusion: Me is fucked.
The end.
*grins for the camera* 😀

Hell yeah! I agree I'm not good at public speaking stuff 🙌🏼

Alcohol is always a solution. Literally speaking.

Recruiter rant #2.

"Hi, am I speaking to xroad? I got a position with <company> and I think you might be interested in it."

"Is this in <city>?"

"Um, I'm not sure"

I was contacted about a dozen times for the same position the week before. I had to tell him where it's located.

This popped up on Best Buy while I was looking around for ideas for my next chair. Somehow I don't think they are on speaking terms with their daughter anymore 🤣

Oh how I like devrant everyday more and more- can you imagine if every job kind would have something like .this? (e.g waiter.Rant) this is so inspiring how everyone is opening up and speaking about motivation, inspiration, fails, mistakes. We are not perfect and we should learn from each other, so the message the devrant unconditionally says is 'be opened ' speak up . P.s this is like coffee for thinking, stimulates to not just sit and work but think and inspire Do something bigger and share , Move your thoughts thank you devs especially founders

dev/ChoosingBeggars

Condition : Deadlines in 7 Hours. Submit on Class

MyClassmate : "Have you done the last Assignment?"
Me : "Technically Speaking, yes, i've done that in Python, since we need to use C, i need to Translate it first"
MC : "Can you teach me?"
Me : "I wouldn't say i won't, but it's 1 AM, time is short, need to sleep, I can give you the python code tho"
MC : "wait, so you will submit the python code without Translating it first?"
Me : "Of course not, i can translate it less than 30 minutes, i'll finish and submit it before class"
MC : "can you translate it now, so you can email that to me at <his email address>, so i can sleep now and we can submit it together this morning"
Me : "i can't tell you are serious or not, anyway, see you in class"

🤦‍♂🤦‍♂🤦‍♂🤦‍♂🤦‍♂ <screenshot in indonesian, just for proofs>

When I find my self in times of trouble, mother google comes to me, speaking words of wisdom "Restart PC"

Speaking of annoying stuff in coding. What the fuck is it with the localized error messages?

No. Fuck you. No. Give me the English version so I can google it and find answers from the huge English speaking community instead of the tiny community of my language.

Only around 700 lines of code and I finally have my first working Vulkan drawcall! Can't wait to integrate it into my engine for all the parallel rendering goodness (not to mention better architecture and asynchronous-ness)

One thing that's a bit weird about Vulkan is the way everything is very static and tightly linked together. You basically need a different renderpass for each stage of rendering (scene-hdr-no-aa, scene-hdr-msaa4, scene-hdr-smaa1, scence-shadow, post-bloom, post-resolve, etc.), a different pipeline object for each distinct pipeline configuration (!!) and both framebuffers and pipeline objects are only valid within the single renderpass they've been created for (roughly speaking)

Oh, and each time the window is resized you have to recreate *all* of these objects from scratch because they also depend on viewport size

No wonder `pipelineCache` is the first argument of `vkCreateGraphicsPipelines` lol

Fuck WFH. I'm so tired of kids yelling. people eating, fucking noises and people leaving their desks for hour, and sayigg I'm sorry I was speaking on mute. Fuck WFH. Everybody needs to get their asses back to the office, and actually do the damn work.

WFH only works if you have kickass passionate people who love their job with an ounce of responsibility.

I don't know which is worse:

1. My project manager telling me that I will have to make a whole project on my own within a month (frontend, backend, etc etc) for our major client and if I make it, we will get a bigger project for a longer period or
2. The colleague next to me being loud (speaking to himself, chewing things) at random intervals.

Best feeling is when I prove to the client with screenshots, logs, and other materials that it was their damn fault not ours...
Speaking of screenshots... what is your fav screenshot tool? I use Greenshot.

A becomes B
B becomes C
C becomes A
D becomes B
E becomes A

Now add real hostnames... Make this list longer (roughly 15-18)

Add resource calculation, migration of VMs, organizing new hardware, removing and rebuilding hosts, etc.

I think my brain is permanently damaged and cannot be repaired.

Hardware migration finally over tomorrow.

I really won't miss the fuckton of Excel lists, constant speaking mistakes, having sore fingers from mutilating the desk calculator etc.

I'm too tired to be happy. But... It's over.

Marketing Director uses the website's blog as his personal social media platform and posts weird one-liners which should have been social media posts.

Refuses to acknowledge content quality is a problem and insists I make the SEO better by doing some stuff with the code.

I can do what I can, technically speaking, but your poor quality content will still drag the entire thing down, asshole.

A blog is not a social media platform, dude.

How come the majority of technical/programming videos on youtube is made by asian indians? I don't have anything against them. Some of them are possible to understand.

And i know there is native english speaking people that do tech/programming videos on youtube but its just so few!

I say "asian indians" so it wont be confused with native americans.

I just wrote, "We don't use braces for if in this package".

For if in! What the hell am I speaking!

Office Ninja!

Today, my PM dropped by in the morning and mentioned she had some customer feedback on some item in a project where I'm the holiday replacement for someone else. I already had work to do, so that kind of interruption wasn't welcome.

"Well yeah, just forward it to me, I'll see what I can do", I told her. She agreed. Half an hour later, still no email from her. Hey, that looked promising!

For the rest of the day, I didn't talk to her, avoided speaking at all when she was near and even sneaked by her room (open doors) in silent mode lest I drew her attention and she might have remembered the email.

Until afternoon when I went home, still no email. Success! :-)

Holy FUck!!!? O.o
You know, they say the customer is always right.. So with us, if the customer wants to shot himself in the knee with a gun, we let them. Usually we even provide a fancy hugeAss cannon, so he can do it more efficiently.
/* not like we make stuff worse, but we prepare our SW for them to do crazy fucked up shit they insist on doing with it, even thought it's against common sense and our recommendations on how to implement XY feature.. */
So.. We usually go above and beyond with the 'not so nice but handy' cannon to do that..
And right now, I think I am on the verge of creating a superDuprHugeAtomicBomb /* figuratively speaking!! NSA go awy!! */ for the customer to killthemselves with!! O.o xD
Supper happy (until I discover more bugs, but it's not finished yet.. so hopefully no bugs at the end!!)

Caboom!

Let's make it clear once and for all: 60% of Belgium is Dutch speaking. So stop setting my language automaticly to French because of my country! 😡

Whenever I encounter a website that does this, I tend to look for another site that either understands Accept-Language headers or knows the above fact.

Yes, I'm looking at you Ubisoft store! But there are many more of these !#@% websites out there!

Always double check your keyboard layout when setting a complex password in non-English speaking countries.

!Rant
one of my client is spanish speaking.. so, after two seasons of narcos I am with him like : "tranquilo...si patron".. kinda fun :D

-" hey Linux, webdeveloper from ****** is on the phone and he is having some trouble"
; "aight send him over"

;" Linux speaking"
+" Hi its ***** from *****, my site wont work"

I ask him about more details and the the name of the sites, I quickly realize something...

;" Uhm, it seems like that you have not uploaded any files yes?
+" no I have not, I just wanted to test if the site on your hosting that I just bought Works as I was promised by the salesman"

;" FML"

Was in our mail today... It's a magazine where you can take evening classes in the IT branch. Who can see the error? It can be found without speaking french. Here is the translation of the headline: Application programming in Java.

(Hint: Web development was on another page.)

Seriously? WHY THE FUCK, are there no English speaking, no god damn accent tutorial videos on YouTube regarding VLSI design, or hell even any of the fucken layout tools ... allllllll of them in very strong Indian accent .. OR not even spoken in English... the fuck folks? Some of them are “ok” to understand but I can’t get past the accent of speeding up and slowing down, and repeating the words and phrases, and then emphasizing shit like a question, but turning it into a unneeded statement, emphasizing the wrong shit... uggh I just wanna pull my fucken hair out.

Americans either are keeping VLSI knowledge a secret.. or nobody who fucken speaks English knows wtf they doing.. and that’s scary.

I was suggested as a kid to “avoid using too much “uh”s and “umm”s while speaking, especially if giving a speech. It sounds bad.” And I agree.

But now, I see, that people generally don’t fucking care about how they speak. Almost every video on the internet (especially the teaching videos) is full of bloody “uh”s and “umm”s.

It’s okay once or twice, if someone genuinely forgets about something. But why the fuck is it becoming part of people’s way of speaking?

Ruins the whole experience of a video. Even if the video’s contents are actually good.

Pause if you want to, but stop the fucking moaning!

I hate when I’m telling a story about something that happened that frustrated me and then the person I’m speaking to interrupts to say “I don’t know why you’re taking it out on *me*” and I’m like “I’m not, I’m just telling you the …” “You’re shouting at me!” “I fucking WASN’T [BUT I AM NOW]” and then I can’t finish my goddamn rant and instead of getting the goddamned thing out of my system I’m just fucking frustrated and seething.

Me : There is a hotfix needs to be done.

Boss : So what ?

Me : Its assigned to you from last 2 weeks and deadlines are near.

Boss: (speaking politely) oh.. is it? Can you take a look ?

Me : ..

The only reason that's gonna push me to go to university is gonna be social life... being at CERN is great and all, but socially speaking it's a lacking environment :/ Especially for us youngsters

Speaking of.. What in your opinion would be an appropriate way to warn someone about security problems, like db passwords in git?

I once came across dozens of extremely sensitive services' infra accesses: alibaba/aliexpress, natuonal observatories, gov institutions, telecomms, etc. I had dozens [if not hundreds] routers' and firewalls' credentials along with addresses. I tried one to confirm validity - it worked. I wanted to warn them but did not want to get in trouble.

If it were servers, I'd set a motd or append some warning messages in .profile. But not sure how to do it for non-server devices

what would you do? How would you warn them?

P.S. Deleting that record was a smart move, buddy ;)

p.P.S. Sorry, wrong category... Can't edit now :(

PBF: This program is so difficult

Me: what's difficult about it?

PBF: *explains*

PBF: *may as well be speaking greek*

Me: Oh. Well, I'm sure you'll kill it. I believe in you ❤

PBF: -_-

Me: (^^,)

"Drawing is speaking to the eye; talking is painting to the ear." - Joseph Joubert

If only they allow us to write unit test at work, its not that It is forbidden but we are not given time to do so :\

Done my test on my side project and now I can happily move to the next step.

Though I'd be happy if someone answers this:
1. When I have to execute functions by order, do I write all their code in one single function and divide them into regions (speaking of C# #reagion)

OR

2. I keep them split and implement the order attribute for XUnit?

My test case is basically just to make sure CRUD methods inside my repositories are working as expected, noting complex

Never have I been so satisfied as I am right now after having implemented a login and user account system with the ability to update user preferences with databases n' shit in PHP after only knowing PHP for a day.

Speaking of all that, do you guys know of any good place to make sure all my stuff is secure? No SQL injections n' the like.

About to give my first presentation on web development! Wish me luck, I've never felt more out of my league, even though I've been a dev for years.

So are we calling the ++'es on devRant increments?

!rant.

Most QAs are dumb beasts, unable to think clearly or rationally, lazy parasites that suck the lifeblood out of a project.

Except this one guy I work with. He blackmailed the CTO to move, and landed himself a junior dev job.

He joined my team a few months ago.
"Right" says I "forget the crap you've learned so far. Here's a list of algorithm books from Amazon. Order them and read them. There'll be a test at the end."

He did. He is now reviewing lead dev work and merrily trolling their poorly performing work. Speaking to them in Big O (and so confusing the crap out of them) and earning stars at every turn.

I'd like to think I had a hand but all the effort was his.

I just saw people speaking about arch linux. Seems like there is not a lot of people using arch here. So I may be the only one on Gentoo? :'(

My boss just realized that I'm allowed to say how I want to be treated as a female and it's ok while he can't say how a female should or shouldn't be treated is because I AM FEMALE and therefore I'm speaking for myself and from my own experiences not saying how someone else should feel!
Only took well over a year.....

a co-worker was approached a conference by a guy asking what she was doing there. I don't think he was expecting the answer "I'm speaking at this conference". I can't imagine being a woman in tech

I mean, impossible for who? For someone working 9-5 without procrastination, sure there are.
I have been a student and a procrastinator most of my life, so yeah, a 40 hour week's work is possible in two days with minimum sleep.
Also done massive projects in a week's time. If you know what you're doing, it's not that impossible.

Although, I find working with others almost impossible in some occasions, specially where you don't see eye to eye despite however much you try. (time-wise, speaking)

Arghhhh.

So I'm working alongside a very big development house that specialises in vehicle finance. They are huge - 60 plus developers, only work in pairs, have a minimum fee of £2500 per day and work with all the largest car manufacturers.

However, today they decided to completely change their api sub domain and all api routes that handle finance quotes. No warning at.

Of course sites I'm working on that consume this consume the said api are broken too.

To make things worse, my client pYs this company circa £19000 per year to use their api. I also recently discovered that the client is paying for their so called managed service. Insanity.

I mean seriously. This company has 4 layers of project manager and 3 forms of a senior developer. According to companies house their turnover is in excess of £4 million per year.

However, they get the basics wrong and do not warn in advance of major changes to their core api service.

Off I go to deal with 10 of project manAgers and support people in the hope if speaking to someone who can actually help.

Today I feel I made it

So today was my second day in new job. I am very happy because it is great improvement in all imaginable areas from my previous one. I feel treated better, colleagues seem to be more mature and friendly, I finally work again in English- speaking environment and etc. etc. i could go on and on..I ranted here couple of times when things got rough and it helped. It is very important during those desperate moments to see other perspectives and this app helped me tremendously! If YOU are reading this now and you are going through s****y times - just hold on and don’t give up on yourself, if I made it - you can make it too!

P.S. it’s not like I am feeling like a best programmer in the world or I am paid a lot, but sometimes you get the feeling that you are in a right place and right time, doing right things.

If you compliment my code, there's a 50% chance I'll lose control of my speaking volume and a 200% chance I'll act like a giddy schoolgirl for a solid 10 minutes. Nothing quite makes your day like a job well done notice.

why is it always Indians or people from Spanish speaking countries shit posting memes?

!dev

The constant fight between my parents left me traumatized for years. In this lockdown I'm home, for almost after a year, same fight. I was speaking, I was calm. But my body was in a flight reaction, my legs were shivering violently my mind was calm though.
Now they are still fighting, it's as always very abusive, and now I'm just in my bed feeling a bit of just like what I used to feel during my childhood. I thought that things are fine in my family again, we can be reasonable now. We can cultivate good relationships finally but now, I feel the same I as used to do when I was 15, I want to leave. Leave this house. I want to be alone.

Waiting for the floors I just mopped to dry, and I'm still thinking about migrating and if, for example, the swiss give me a good job offer, I would most likely stick around. I don't hate to stick around Europe, but it defo doesn't have any of the elements I like. (megacity, snows, English speaking, multicultural, non-torturous migration laws)

Like, I'm at that point where I'm not making enough money and want to leave (also, gaining the freedom to leave from degree soon enough) but I absolutely hate my home place (personal reasons) but they pay a crapton better, plus I can get social security benefits.

... And I want to do a phd. 😐
Someone beat some sense into me please.

#1 Speaking to my boss in Klingon.

He thought I was shouting at him in Dothraki.

lu' or luq
(yes, I will do that)

#2 Listening to Black Sabbath during a server compile 2.6h.

I can follow and am fine with the Vue documentation. I go crazy when I read online tutorials. I don't know webpack. I don't know ES6. I don't know nodejs. Arrghhh.

It is like all of a sudden I'm thrown into an English speaking courtroom as a lawyer or into a bunch of Brits.

So, I guess this is some good news...

I'm currently on annual leave, speaking to few colleagues and one of them mentioned that the Snr. dev mentioned in my previous posts has handed in his notice.

We also have a new line manager, so hopefully I'll actually be able to sort out technical debt, implement the changes I want to implement without being blocked off or PRs closed without notice.

So I guess this is a win, also means a new Snr. dev position has opened up so you bet I'm gunning for it when I get back.

Global variables destroyed my day

Of course you can call me a bad programmer and all. When you have the idea, sometimes globals make it seem easy, accessible and "saving resources". They are devils.

The app was connected to a suite of applications. So I ended up silently destroying it neighbors. I committed and pushed the shit. Just when the testers made their weed high smoke tests, a server stopped working.

I got an email that boss wanted the latest version, I reverted the wrong branch, which had code unrelated to its name, pushed shit again and voila.

I went to the bathroom and laughed. I had to take a smoke. I'm still laughing while typing this. The damage is too much and I can't help it. I'll go home, leave this pc on and work remotely through the night. It might be the hysterics speaking now, but I messed up, and I need magic by friday morning.

what is the point of having massive HR departments if something as expected and frequent as university hiring can't go smoothly?

i managed to reach the interview round for a big 4 firm only for the interviewer to not show up for 4 hours from my time slot (i waited the entire time - took periodic screenshots for proof), HR to say "we'll reschedule your interview, this happened because of internal miscommunication" more than THREE months ago, and dip. until december they'd repeat the same. now they've ghosted. thanks, virtual hiring.

how is it the candidate's fault? found out this isn't rare by speaking to a few others from my network who i knew were interviewing for the same firm. for students whose lives can change completely based on the outcome of an opportunity that they came across due to sheer luck and could definitely make use of because of their hard work - this is so heartbreaking and demotivating.

!Rant
Just resurrected my old Galaxy Nexus with LineageOS. It's still shiny af even on Android Nougat.

Speaking about almost 6 years old device. 😍

A few years ago I was at the taco bus (Taco Tepito) to get some food. There was a couple there (man and woman). The woman was speaking fluent Spanish to order their food. It kind of seemed like she was showing off her skill to the man. Seemed like a date situation.

While we are waiting a cat ran out from under the bus. To this I said: "One got away." The man started laughing at this comment. The woman looked visibly angry. I am not sure if she was more mad at me for making the comment, or mad at her date for laughing about the comment. Sorry dude. Hopefully she could look past that.

Actual picture of the bus, plus a cat I added:

Hahaha ahah ahaha ahha haha ha :') does saying that its a solo project and throwing me into a team of incompetent researchers count? Does specifying a python-ish stack and giving me c++ and fortran code count? Does not fucking paying me until i threatened to leave the job and delete everything i wrote for them count? Does speaking to 9billion people to get the same job as fulltime because i spent 8 hours working for them anyway count?

PAID for a support call,
dude's answering could barely be understood while speaking English and didn't know a thing about the topic of the call itself (it was very very specific).

The call lasted 5m and was only used to schedule another one on Monday to let them understand what we're asking and come back at us with a solution.

Fucking waste of time.

I checked out this new hybrid app that was released by some local senior developers.

Turns out that on my user profile, my user ID is set as the value of a hidden field and changing it to any other user ID and saving the form will update the profile of that user. Including changing the password.

The password reset form also allows me to change the user ID to reset that user's password.

Speaking of passwords, the value of the password field on the profile is my actual password in plain text.

Yes, I said this app was released by a couple of "senior developers". One has over 15 years of experience and the other works at an IT company that builds online banking systems. They appear to have outsourced this side project to some other development team but... Come on. At least take one quick look at the source code before releasing it, why don't you?

I don't even...

PSA: If you do reverse proxying stuff, prefer unix domain sockets over localhost internet sockets, if it's on the same machine (and if it's forwarded over ssh too). You can even serve HTTP as a unix socket.

Unix domain sockets don't have the overhead of IP, so generally speaking, data will flow to your other process with much less overhead.

I've recently stopped being lazy at this, and it's worth it.

Hi all! I am an iOS developer and I've been using Firebase as my 'online storage'. I want to be a more full stack dev and creating my own APIs. I want to start to learn Java or .NET APIs (uuh an iOS dev speaking about .NET :P). Anyone that can recommend good courses or tutorials and best practices? I have been learning Java and .NET in college, but that is about 4 years sgo.. Thanks in advance!

My family absolutely did not support me. Throughout my life my parents wanted me to become an accountant (like my sibling) and encouraged me to pursue that. In 8th grade I initially broke the news that I wanted to get into software development and was told "computers won't be around for another 10 years (this was probably around 2010), don't go into something so stupid". For reference, we had 1 family computer up til 2008 which we had limited amounts of time with.

Every year after, up until the end of 12th grade I told them I planned on going into software dev, and they got angrier each time, before finally they stopped speaking to me for a short time over that summer after I told them I had been accepted into university for computer science.

Now, in my final year, they still think i'm throwing my life away. Their disapproval is what has been motivating me the most, to prove to myself that I can support myself and create good things.

Speaking of "living"...

When was the last time you looked up in the sky and admired the beauty of its deep blueness or the beauty of the clouds floating up there?

We live in a beautiful world. And yet we spend our lives dawn-to-dusk staring at things made by ourselves rather than enjoying what's already there - the beauty all around us we don't bother to even think about, not to mention look at it.

No, I'm not a spiritual person. I just really love the world around me :) Not people. Not technology. Pure raw nature and the mind-bending balance of EVERYTHING in it.

So... when was the last time you've admired what's out there, rather than what's in our artificial world?

Meetings.. Was I not listening? Blame it on the ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder).

Maybe society has AEHD (Attention Expected Hyper-Delusion).

Seriously, who can pay attention to someone speaking AT you.

We have amazing magical devices one can enchant to do their bidding; Contemplating the details of such, often, is more enjoyable than what your rambling on about, talking head.

Not sorry, ;).

Also THANK YOU, you amazing MIT's (Manager of Information Technologies). A lot of you understand and even may use your underling employee's as a vented heat sync for your frustrations. I love what you do and thank the universe I don't have to engage myself in those activities. I have sympathy for the decision to give up your jeans and t-shirts for business attire; keep strong, your role is vital. <3

The insomnia is going to have to give me a break. Work in 3 hrs, time for a nap; and no, I don't take ADD medication (Amphetamine). I don't need a prescription; I can procure my own drugs, thank you.

Nor would I do them to get through work, that's drug abuse.

Why do germans have to use STRG?
ITS CONFUSING!
Im Swiss german and people often say to me use STRG!
Only that im speaking german isn't a real Argument! Why are we even using different keyboard-layouts?
Why arent we all using CTRL?
Its pretty mich the Standard for all keyboards!
And what confused me the most when er got Windows 7 machines at primary school!
I didn't know what fucking button to press until the IT Guy of our school came and explained US all that STRG was CTRL!
And the most worst of all, when german youtubers say Press CTRL in a Video but show STRG!

Recruiters or their bosses with sick ambitions and zero feedback.

Do I need to say more?

Spent few days to make my site looking good on desktop/mobile with few screenshots and even video to show my working projects in production. Even more few days to make really detailed 2 A4 CV with my previous job and what I was doing there. All generated from markdown.

I even saved money around half a year to go and live month in other country (Ireland, Dublin) and then on site send about 150 applications on various sites, emails, linkedout and local IT meetings.

Null, nada, nil, NaN accepted applications.

Is it some kind of joke? All companies almost cries for new workers and they don't even answer someone which founded and have no problem with growing own IT company for almost 5 years with self learnt, practically applied in production linux, HTML, CSS, JS, PHP, Go, bash, KVM and Openvz virtualization knowledge?

What they really want?
Astronaut with Brainfuck and Cobol with fluent backwards speaking Esperanto riding on monocycle with 3 hands and no need for sleep for -1 whoopercoin?

Just tried the new PYCHARM update

Honestly speaking I was a bit disappointed with the update as a whole.

Firstly, I it didn't recognize conda as the default development environment and moreover it didn't let me switch from virtualenvs also it took away my in built terminal option and to further aggravate my miseries the performance of the IDE as a whole had fallen quite a bit for instance at one point the ide alone was using around 1.5GiB of RAM and a huge
chunk of my CPU usage

While speaking i cant say if without an else.
I guess it's programming syndrome

I would not consider myself an overachiever by any means, but I must say, I'm quite satisfied with my contributions this year at the new (relatively speaking) job. I got to go back to writing code almost every day, all day, and that sure as hell beats being in meetings all the goddamn time.

boo-yaa!!! It's the 4th day in a row!

I accidentally glance at the clock and it says 1521.

Oracle must be speaking to me.

Don't you have a colleague in office, you want to shout "SHUT UP",
even though they aren't speaking.

Wtf why do some people create tutorials and start speaking Martian in between?

onEnlightControllerActionPostDispatchBackendPluginManager

Who needs docs if you've got such speaking method names.

There's nothing funnier than talking to another programmer around a group of non programmers. Feel like the fucking rick and morty memes when you go "Hey bro. I heard you were having issues with finding the direction between two vectors, are you telling me you don't know that the direction is basically x1-x2 and y1 - y2? Just be glad you arent trying to rotate the object towards the second one with quaternions. I know eulers work but its still a pain in the ass to figure out the euler direction." And everyone sits there looking at you like youre speaking minecraft enchanting table

>Be me, humble physicist turned quantitative developer
>Big physics nerd, but code for the cash
>Working on some quantitative finance software, all about risk measures
>Girl comes over one day, cute as a quark
>Think to myself, "This is it, time to make a move"
>Instead, brain decides it's time to explain my work
>Start rambling about refactoring, polymorphism, and data encapsulation
>She's looking at me like I've started speaking in binary
>She tries to steer the conversation back to normal stuff, but I'm stuck in a recursion loop
>Keep going on about my project, can't seem to stop myself
>She tries to stay longer, even tries to show interest in my work
>But the more I talk about algorithms and time complexity, the more her eyes glaze over
>Eventually, she gives up, says she has to leave
>She leaves, probably thinks I'm more interested in my code than her
>mfw I realize I've chosen code over companionship
>Why am I like this?

How do you organize your downloads folder?

Personally, I make a new folder with some name(altough the name actually being useful is rare) and just select all of my files and dump them there. Finding a file sucks so much though, I can never remember their names so I just look through the folders at the icons and hope I find the file I'm looking for. This mess that is my downloads folder led to looking 5 times in a folder to find a file.

My DOS VM is more organized than that...

Speaking of DOS managing memory in that is hell. I've never had memmaker detect 64MB of RAM, giving the VM 96MB of RAM made it detect 2 more MB or something.

Written so much markup and js that I may start speaking in markup xD
Is it too early to sleep now?

Be good at speaking! I've landed 3 dev jobs, without any formal education, merely because I'm good at talking. Bigly good!

Did you ever had to integrate a fucking "API" that is done via mail bodies?

Fuck this shit! Who need responses about success or failure?! Guess this will take a long time to test this fucking piece of garbage... We don't get a test system, we need to test this with the production system of the other company. I hope their retarded application crashes when receiving malicious mails.

Not speaking about security, I bet everyone can send a mail to their stupid mail address and modify their data 🙈

And inside of this crap mail you also have to send the name, street and email of their company. Why do you fucking need this information?!

Have you felt so burnout that it feels like you’ve forgotten how to code?

If yes, how you’ve solved?

I feel like I hit rock bottom. Everything takes forever, and I even forgotten how to do a pull while speaking to a junior recently.

Furthermore, I have to do a performance review and I can’t even think of anything worth mentioning. For sure I’ll be in the next layoffs that should happen soon.

Job market is quite depressing right now. All positions that pay what I need to earn are asking for someone with 3 heads, 8 hands and 9 d*cks.

I miss the times where it was possible to be a senior and just code, without any BS, without having to prove that you can make the company earn N millions more.

When the team lead has no idea what the problem is but took too many public speaking courses so he’s really well-versed at feeding people bullshit…

Broadly speaking (what I need my ideal life to be):

*Books
*PC/Internet
*Yoga
*Family and friends
*Nature
*Helping FOSS community
*Sufficient money to survive
*..and an unachievable life purpose

I fucking hate when my project manger makes me do demos on sprint reviews. I have enough fucking things to focus on. I don’t need this extra pressure. Fuck this. I hate public speaking. He thinks that it helps me to grow. Fuck him. 😒😒😒😒

I always see people who say that open source != monetarily free. While I agree that may be technically true, I think practically speaking it is not.

Why do I say this?
Well to my knowledge there isn't any successful company that makes money by actually selling open source software. There are a few companies that have become successful by selling complimentary services like Redhat with Enterprise support or Mozilla with selling ad space in their browser, but none that actually sell the software directly.

The meetings for SEO.
The SEO guy is really, really nice. He's patient, comprehensive, he's quite good looking and everything, but my boss is a total moron when speaking about internet stuff. He makes us repeat everything at least three times, he will note everything on a sheet of paper that he will lose and write again... these reunion last 2 hours and we have one twice a month. Uuuugh...

what is worse

listening to a hardcore indian accent speaking on english

or reading an indian article with broken english

!Rant
I can remember a while ago, I went to a meetup, and listened to some guys speaking about angular 2.
And I thought good for them! One day I might get proficient enough to speak about something before this many people, while actually knowing the topic well enough for it.
Today, I held a presentation before 70+ guys about Vue & Quasar framework at the exact same place. Wasn't flawless ofc, but they said I pretty much nailed it.
I'll treasure it as a great accomplishment for years to come. Love my job! 🙂

A customer asks for a change request or a bug fix and it results in creating a ticket for that.
It's the process and how it works in most places but after you finish with the task and fix the same customer who provided you with the requirements will request that you share the steps on how to test the fix or the feature.
I'm not speaking about the data preparation or required configuration. I mean a step-by-step instruction on how the tester/QA will test it.
It's driving me mad!! So a way to counterplay this stupid requests, I provide the happy path and what to expect. And in case, they stumbled on a bug later in production, I can easily say "It was approved by your testing team and that's a new requirement ;)"

Imagine 100 years from now, what would programming be like?

My answer :
Speaking the commands directly to the computer and hope it runs

Your answer?

Am on my way to a Meetup, giving a talk on a database class I've designed - bit different to the norm - hope they like the concept I came up with!

I was honest with the COO about my current opinion about my manager, and now we wait to see if my manager has a conniption about me speaking out about them behind their back.

WARNING - a lot of text.
I am open for questions and discussions :)

I am not an education program specialist and I can't decide what's best for everyone. It is hard process of managing the prigram which is going through a lot of instances.
Computer Science.
Speaking about schools: regular schools does not prepare computer scientists. I have a lot of thoughts abouth whether we need or do NOT need such amount of knowledge in some subjects, but that's completely different story. Back to cs.
The main problem is that IT sphere evolves exceedingly fast (compared to others) and education system adaptation is honestly too slow.
SC studies in schools needs to be reformed almost every year to accept updates and corrections, but education system in most countries does not support that, thats the main problem. In basic course, which is for everyone I'd suggest to tell about brief computer usage, like office, OS basics, etc. But not only MS stuff... Linux is no more that nerdy stuff from 90', it's evolved and ready to use OS for everyone. So basic OS tour, like wtf is MAC, Linux (you can show Ubuntu/Mint, etc - the easy stuff) would be great... Also, show students cloud technologies. Like, you have an option to do *that* in your browser! And, yeah, classy stuff like what's USB and what's MB/GB and other basic stuff.. not digging into it for 6 months, but just brief overview wuth some useful info... Everyone had seen a PC by the time they are studying cs anyway.. and somewhere at the end we can introduce programming, what you can do with it and maybe hello world in whatever language, but no more.. 'cause it's still class for everyone, no need to explain stars there.
For last years, where shit's getting serious, like where you can choose: study cs or not - there we can teach programming. In my country it's 2 years. It's possible to cover OOP principles of +/- modern language (Java or C++ is not bad too, maybe even GO, whatever, that's not me who will decide it. Point that it's not from 70') + VCS + sime real world app like simplified, but still functional bookstore managing app.
That's about schools.

Speaking about universities - logic isbthe same. It needs to be modern and accept corrections and updates every year. And now it depends on what you're studying there. Are you going to have software engineering diploma or business system analyst...
Generally speaking, for developers - we need more real world scenarios and I guess, some technologies and frameworks. Ofc, theory too, but not that stuff from 1980. Come-on, nowadays nobody specifies 1 functional requirement in several pages and, generally, nobody is writing that specification for 2 years. Product becomes obsolete and it's haven't even started yet.
Everything changes, whether it is how we write specification documents, or literally anything else in IT.

Once more, morale: update CS program yearly, goddammit

How to do it - it's the whole another topic.

Thank you for reading.

Conference calls are all about playing the thrilling game of "Guess who's speaking?" 🤔🎭
The symphony of awkward pauses, microphone feedback, jitters, and the delightful sound of someone else's breathing into their mic. 📞🎶

y'know what's ironic? people rush over things and avoid meetings, documentation or just speaking to each other, all for the sake of productivity, not realizing that's what destroys the team

So there was a time when I "knew" PHP but I've never been able to use it, correctly or not. I knew I had to know a framework to get more accepted in the work market place, so I went on Codecademy, and started to learn a shit ton of stuff that I knew but I now master way more than before. Until I fall on a Ruby on Rails tutorial. Then another. Then a login / register system.

Dude. It was so simple. I had the feeling that my magic wand found me, and that I was developing just by speaking English (well it was the basics)

Today RoR is still my favourite framework, I just wish I could be paid to work with it 😍

I wrote a bot. Does it count as making a new friend from coding?
It writes me bunch of interesting news everyday, maybe it will get a name and start speaking the news stories so I don’t have to read them.

When your IT VP starts speaking blasphemy:

"Team,
We all know what’s going on with the API. Next week we may see 6x order volumes.

We need to do everything possible to minimize the load on our prod database server.

Here are some guidelines we’re implementing immediately:

· I’m revoking most direct production SQL access. (even read only). You should be running analysis queries and data pulls out of the replication server anyway.
· No User Management activities are allowed between 9AM and 9PM EST. If you’re going to run a large amount of updates, please coordinate with a DBA to have someone monitoring.
· No checklist setup/maintenance activities are allowed at all. If this causes business impact please let me know.
· If you see are doing anything in [App Name] that’s running long, kill it and get a DBA involved.

Please keep the communication level high and stay vigilant in protecting our prod environment!"

RIP most of what I do at work.

Just wanna say that I love devRant b/c :

1. I can write as l33t as I wish knowing that most of u will get the msg, some of u can decode almost anything ( exceptions r the Manuscript and some of AOK posts )

2. I can be sarcastic, say stupid things w/0 fasing a wave of comfused hate

3. speaking 0f which, d re-@ll haters & <spam>3rs r quickly kicked out ( shout 4 all moderators )

4. most of u r critical thinkers and is a pleasure to read some of d discussions

5. one can learn a lot for the other parts of the IT in which is not involved ( yet )

6. It's hell of a fun around you so keep the spirit burning ( might see ya @ burning man, boom, the freshly re-started love parade or just at random point in our small home )

Love ya all. 10x 4 attending this dev/!dev talk

My first time standing up and talking about something for an hour tomorrow. "Knowledge sharing" as if I don't do enough one on one...

Why must you have to do this shit to get promoted? Why can't managers trust that your good at what you do without the public cock sucking?

Back to my introverted rock for a while.

The other day the "big boss" came to us asking for a feature.
During he speaking to a colleague I saw this guy whitening in the face.
So after some time I asked him what happens..
"He just told me to deallocate some memory (to achieve this, and do that..)"

...

We are writing in Python.

Hi XXXX,

Thanks for speaking to me earlier,

If you could send me the following details we can really get the ball rolling with the recruitment process.

• Any jobs you have applied for or interviewed (I need company name and position)

This stops me re applying you for jobs you’ve already applied for

• Any key elements an employer has to have for you

• A name phone number and position held for references at your current contract.

If we can get these over asap then we can start the ball rolling and get you a new position in the most time effective manner.

Kind Regards,

Brainless Lazy Back-Stabbing Recruiter.

Everytime there's a bug for me, being English is the problem.
In the US, the spelling color is used to match the spelling of the word's Latin etymon, and to make all derivatives consistent (colorimeter, colorize, colorless, etc). Elsewhere in the English-speaking world, the spelling colour has been retained

I was thinking by now if they weren't trying to justify raping everyone's bank account wouldn't all the fucking motels be paid off ? They were only built in the 1970s

If they're trying to imprison garbage put them in prison but speaking for the people who were not selling their own ass or anyone else's this artificial inflation and scarcity has been fucking things up forever

The Hilton should cost 74 bucks maybe 100 depending on which one
A fucking econolodge like 50 and it should be fucking clean
The way they slave drive people who work for hotels and resorts they're not paying much to clean a fucking room and do some laundry and the idea is to encourage people to stay

Not encourage enabled child molesters to take up residence like t Hampton down the road

Just got done watching a 2 1/2 hours of Uncle Bob on programming. I really like his style of speaking. Great data and interesting viewpoints. Really easy to follow. I'd read some of his articles, but never listened to him before. Will definitely be watching more. For those of you in organizations using "agile" development and having a tough time of it, his talk called The Land that Scrum Forgot was really interesting.

And he really looks amazingly like my uncle, Tom, who's also been a programmer for decades! So I just think of him as Uncle Tom instead.

Speaking with my former coworker about networking:

Me: Coaxial uses the Ethernet layer two protocol.

Coworker: No? Coax uses the RADIUS layer two protocol.

And this guy was my "superior."

Any Irish people here?

I’m planning to move to Ireland in the next six months, probably somewhere near cork.
Currently I’m living in Switzerland but I’m actually german.

However, I have two major concerns:
1) my English is good but not that good. It’s probably a bit better than the German average but still far from fluent. I think in the first months it might be difficult to communicate in English all day long in the office.

Did you have any coworkers or friends who moved there from a non-native English speaking country? How did they do? Did the company have problems with being patient with those people?

2) how hard is it to find a job as a java developer with 7+y experience considering #1?

Bonus question: what do you guys actually think about Germans, am I welcome? :)

Sometimes I find myself asking myself out loud why I got an error.

Is it really crazy that I am speaking a lot of english after a completing a hell a whole season of a tv series in one day after a continuos watch?

I think I'm a dev.... sigh.

After I quit I didn't do it but out of all my interests and hobbies this one kept bugging me. So yeahhhhhh. I'm a dev.

Speaking of. Got bored and finally made a portfolio website. It's not great but people were asking for a link to my cV. So let me know what you think and I can get around to adjusting.

It's

Www.almxnames.com

Trying to decide between two places, one was full of cliquey staff who would talk to someone they didn't like through someone else in a child-like "Tell X I'm not talking to them" despite X being next to you, and management who wouldn't always pay you on time or the right amount.
The other was also run very poorly, management looked down on staff who wouldn't work for free after their shift finished, they'd also throw you under the bus for clients and wouldn't take staff speaking up. I once went to my direct manager noting that I was burning out as the only member in a department when every other was staffed by multiple groups of multiple staff. Told them that I needed someone else with me, next thing you know I'm out on my ear and replaced by a young lad just starting his apprenticeship.

I met @miau in England at University, through the only course we shared, Games for the Internet. I really wanted to be her friend because I thought she was pretty cool.

@miau looks incredibly confident. She has humor, imagination and is a really talented programmer.

She, on the other hand, did not want to have anything to do with other German-speaking students to improve her English skills and learn as much about England as possible.

Fortunately, I can be very stubborn. I helped her with her programming tasks whenever she let me and told her what our professor values. A few tests and beers later we were friends.

Don’t commit your terraform state to github please, especially if it contains over 20 API keys for various services, and database master passwords.

Not speaking from experience of having to do some frantic rebasing of someones PR *eye twitch*

This rant is about a company that I applied for through my college. There were 3 steps for selection
1- Aptitude test
2 -2 Technical Interviews
3 - HR Interview

30 Students cleared the first round and were asked to wait for interview call.
The interviews were planned a week after the test and during that week I fell ill, and still I somehow managed to go to the interview and due to being sick I wasn't able to speak clearly, I coughed whenever I tried to speak.

Still I managed to clear my first Interview because the Interviewer co-operated with me and was patient when I coughed while speaking.
But then came the second Interview, the interviewer here was such a dick that when I coughed I was asked why did I even come for Interview?

Whenever I coughed he was like don't waste my time hurry up.

I am really happy that I wasn't selected in that company because I won't work in a company where people don't even have the etiquettes for speaking with someone.

so at the end all I want to say is FUCK YOU CUNTS from *** labs

Man, I think teaching is sooo hard...

it seems I can only start from two points: or I suppose the person is rock dumb and start sentences like "you know what top means right?"

(this is especially true because I'm not in a English speaking country and all of my references are in English (cuz since I learned it, I think it's easier to find good content in English))

or I go like:
"you only have to create a branch with the feature, the a class that implements the X interface to do this"
when the person doesn't even know how to make a function.

And now, I could convince the boss git is important and we should use it (I'm a intern). Result is: I need to teach git (git above all things, I have to teach git) to the other intern because the two interns will be responsible for taking care of the repos.

Not saying that I will fuck up, but leaving the repos to the interns, is this really a good idea 😂

I remember being a TA for an intermediate java class. I tried helping as many people as I could, but some of them were doomed. Their code looked like it was written by Satan himself. I would try explaining why their code was bad, but it was like speaking another language (no pun intended). It was also the first class where people needed to use git... I don't need any more explanation there.

I am that point in my life where ranting about problems isn't even helping me.

Honestly speaking I am a just lazy person. Solving problems will help me.... and I am looking forward to it