I have a casual retail job and I need to sell this... It really hurts me.

Job offers be like:
We need a VIRGIN with atleast 2 years EXPERIENCE of SEX...

You're a bit too junior we need someone with a bit more experience.

Job was listed as junior/apprentice dev.

They're giving multiple projects to work on and it's so fucking hard to remember workflow of 4-5 projects while working on side projects as well

Saw a job posting at subway in Chicago. Need a job ?

Got married yesterday and am now on a call for the same problem that occurred over Christmas...

I need a new job...

Always postponed learning vim. For my new job I need to know how to work with vim.

Finally a reason not to postpone anymore!

Every dev job I see:

You need a billion years of experience, and must be able to fistfight Sauron

Friend: Hi! Can you create a car rental website for me?
Me: hmmm... yeah, we need to define some..
Friend: I will pay you in beer! 😉
Me: We need to define how you want to die.

Why some people try to ignore the fact that programming is a fucking job?

*1 week into dream job*

Me: I need to communicate this variable to a script running in another thread, how do you normally handle that?

My Lead: oh, just add it as a global variable

Me: oh no...

Freelancing website be like: I need a Rolls Royce with high-quality leather and with perfect temperature control. I will also need a mini fridge for my champagne bottle and two wine glass holders. I don't think there's a lot of work to be done in it. It's an easy job.

Budget: $30

Anyone else notice this trend:

1. Don't go to uni / drop out (who needs education).
2. Get a job in IT, it pays well (who cares you don't have a structured logic).
3. Learn need-to-know stuff only (I only need to know my code).
4. Tell others they should get into programming, it's not that hard.
5. Get asked about the workings of a computer, but that's not in your domain of work. "I only code".

Millennial much ?

Co-worker: I need a proxy to do this task.

Me: Why do you need a proxy?

Co-worker: So all these reviews for the company I'm posting don't look sketchy.

Me: Download the TOR browser.

Co-worker: That's kinda sketchy I don't wanna do that.

So falsifying information about the company is okay, but using a browser to do it anonymously is right out.

Don’t fall for the hype. Software is not only FAANG, ridiculous perks and fancy corporate offices. It’s a job to give you the things you need to pursuit other things.

Just don’t be a salaryman/salarywomen. There is more to life than that.

Start a new job.
It is amazing.
What, you will not pay my JetBrains? Ugh... cheap boss.
Do you call this scrum?
Now I need to build this dumbass feature.
Wait, all the seasoned people are leaving?
Why did I choose this place at first?
Linkedin.
Interview.
This sounds awesome.
Good salary.
Bye guys.

Start a new job...

Riskiest Dev choice...

Leaving a previous job, moving 1000KM (620 Miles) away with no job prospects and going absolutely broke.

This was all in the name of “I need a better job”, so what better way to force yourself to get one.

I’m currently in my second job since then and now make just over double what I was earning before.

Sometimes it takes a high risk to get out ahead.

Ruby. Ruby this. Ruby that. Ruby in a box. Ruby with a hat. Ruby with a fox.

My job swears that there is no need for React, even though Rails now comes baked with webpack.

React with a jet pack. React with webpack. React in my web stack.

Make friends early and often, before you need a job.

Need job to get job experience..... Need job experience to get a job. Who the fuck designed this system.

Fuckinggggg Sadists

Arrrghhhh

I opened a tutorial in youtube about web development , suddenly enter wix add
"You need a website why not do it yourself"
Me: no shit thats my job to work on a website but not on wix

Interviewer: One last thing, hope you are not married.

She: No, but how is that relevant?

Interviewer: Well because this job involves a lot of traveling you see...

She: Makes sense Sir. Also, I have a lawyer friend, in case you need any help...

Interviewer: What help?

She: Help with filing for your divorce Sir, as this job involves a lot of traveling...

Job listing I just saw:
Our lead and only developer just retired after 15 years of maintaining the codebase. We need someone who is capable of working with large amounts of undocumented and untested code.

PS: This was a company that makes medical software.

Me: I can fix that workflow in about five minutes, In fact I can do it right now as we are speaking on the phone.

Customer: okay well... let me contact the director and make sure it’s okay that you fix it.

Me: I won’t make any changes to how it functions I’m only going to make it work again as it used to

Customer: we might need to schedule a meeting to talk about this because I’m not sure that we should be changing the site without permission

Me on the inside: I literally have global admin rights, unlimited power in Sharepoint, am responsible for making sure this stuff works, and BUILT this fucking thing, so now that I’ve been alerted of an issue I’m going to fix it. You are welcome to blame me if your boss is upset about it but I’m not going to wait for a fucking meeting to make sure it’s okay that I update a god damn email address in a workflow.

Me IRL: okay sounds great let me know when it is :)

I just got a response from a recruiter saying that I didn't pass the screening because "they need people with degrees". Why the fuck didn't you mention that in your job requirements before wasting my time? Fuck recruiters and their degrees!!

I love the skill requirements section of a junior Dev job advertisement.

To summarise "Basically you'll need all the skills and experience of a senior, but we are gonna pay you much much less". 😔

Did anybody of you automate job hunting?

Like Webscraping online job offers, extract adress, keywords and put it into a cv template, set up personalised html-email and website.
Extra perk, a neural network which composes the cover letter.

that i would need.

I'd like to tell a story about a friend I once knew. She was good at her job, but only her job. People loved her so much, but when the people got interested in things other than her job, they took her with them. She was forced to do things she couldn't do as well, and all because people couldn't change. She feels overused, overworked, and she still tries to keep her head up. People need to stop using her.

#KeepJavaScriptOnTheWeb

Interview for a new job
Team leader: well yes, we have this webapp with Angular, it's a bit convoluted so we need help working on it
Me: sounds good enough, I have no experience with Angular though, I'll need to learn on the road
Team leader: no worries :)

A couple of weeks later, after joining the team
Me: wait a moment, that's not Angular you got there. That's AngularJS, it's like 10 years old
Team leader: 😊

Bruh

Conferences do a great job reminding me of bad I am at socializing. I'm not antisocial, just legitimately bad at socializing. I need to practice more, I wonder if there's an app for that 🤔

Fixing someone else's code who left the job.
Production suddenly not working, cannot debug locally, cannot deploy to a test environment because it does not exists anymore.
There should be a contract clause that developer need to support his project for 2 years after he leaves his job.

Is it normal, or is the HR stalling?

I spoke with the HR and they offered me a job and they’re drafting the offer letter.

1 month later.

They’re still drafting the offer letter.

Do I have to worry about the length of responsibilities that I need to do?

Woke up this morning with a fuck this shit mood. I need to write test specs for a system I don't know shit about, and it seems no one who work with this system wants to talk to me, so I gave up and started devranting and reading a game dev book. Fuck this shitty job.

"Lightweight rant"

Good job, devs of Sparkasse.
Time to "jobn't" y'all.
That error message is very informational.

I know it is because of the time counter being at 0 and I need to relogin to reset it, but what if I was a regular dumb client? To add more salt into it, what if I was someone in his 90s.

Do your fucking job properly.

Edit: The error message translates to "Error", "Error" and "Close"

Just got made redundant 😒

Anyone need a web dev in Melbourne?
I have desirable skills such as working myself out of a job..

I don't always leave my job..
But when I do, I leave a bunch of shitty code that will make the next developer suffer.

That's what they get if they keep asking 'We need it now/today'

Elon Musk: you dont need a college degree, you dont even need highscho look, if you have the required knowledge, you can work anywhere

Tesla job requirements: must have at least BSc college degree

Got a corporate profile pic
Filled out my Linkedin profile
Checked that I'm open for work opportunities
3 months later an HR wrote to me about a nice job opportunity
"Hey, guys, I need more $$$, I'm going to other company"
And here I am, doing even less than at previous job, but get paid 2x more XD

I hate recruitment agencies. Had a conversation, i said no thanks. They phone back they next day and tell me i need to let them know if i want to go forward with the job then get angry with me as i tell them no again. WTF?!?!!

You know a devOps/sysadmin is doing their job and a good one when you dont need them

CEO of previous job, only reachable by email, coming to the office twice a week at best, business trips at no notice, answers every third email, addressing the dev team:
"You need to plan better. A lot of the delays and bugs are due to poor communication and unaddressed issues."

I don't miss that job.

job posts in Algeria:
we need a full stack developer, with 5+ years experience.
we have a great salary ($400/month) 😂

Applying to internships today and I see this

“
Job type: Internship

Requirements:
- Atleast 2 years of professional experience as a software engineer
- ...
“

Wtf is this????

Why does an intern need 2 years of professional experience?

Isn’t an intern supposed to be an entry level job?

Am I wrong in thinking this is crazy?

Parked the car in a parking lot 15 mins before job interview. Plenty of time to spare.

Go to pay for parking.

Ticket machine doesn't accept cards. Fine, I have notes.

Ticket machine doesn't accept notes. Shit, I need to go get change quick.

FUCKING FUCKER DOESN'T ACCEPT £1 COINS WELL WHAT THE FUCK TO YOU ACCEPT THEN YOU FUCKING FUCK I'M GOING TO BE LATE FOR MY JOB INTERVIEW OR GET A £80 FUCKING PARKING FINE

Am so happy 3 years of self teaching web and system developing I finally get a job as a web dev...

And um going to be honest with you guys I need some ++ so I can afford some of the cool stuff from builder

Freelancing sucks. "A good developer told me this should take a couple hours." Or "I need an Uber like app with built in payment and social integration. We have a $50 budget and it shouldn't take more than a day or two to build." Or "I need a simple game built. Should work on Apple and Android. No budget but we could work out a share of profits." Really wish I had a real job...

Got a job offer. Pays more than my current job (~13% increase) and allows me to commute. However, less freedoms. This is weird to me - the job is for a small firm (20 employees), and my current is huge (~25-30k). Now I can work from home when I need it, and flexible hours (aka, get in whenever I feel like it). New job had in contract "No remote working" and "Work hours are 0800-1600".

Think I'm gonna turn em down.. Fuck being locked down like that, honestly.

I read a lot about people complaining about their shitty jobs. Some of us actually have nice jobs, but could really need more coworkers.

Wouldn't it be nice if devRant had the possibility to post job offers? Of course, no recruiters allowed, just awesome job offers, so we can all work together on some nice projects.

PS: Could really need some help at work :-)

First, why didn't I know about this app sooner.

Second, a month into my new job as senior frontend and wonder am I good enough.

Third, I know I just need to get out of my head.

Lastly, glad to be here.

I got told once that "You don't need pay if you love your job" - what kind of bullshit logic is that? ( I work as a volunteer programmer on a community project, but the game is for-profit and making a fair amount ). People these days...

When you no longer need to search SO in your daily work, it's time to look for a new job.

Trying to get my first job as a web developer. I was talking to a friend's friend:
- I know HTML, CSS, PHP and MySQL.
- Cool, where did you work before?
- At an English School as a teacher.
- Nice, I need some freelance translations

How. The. Fuck...do these people has a job:
Me: How much to repair my Nexus 6 screen? It's not full smashed.
Tech guy: We'll need to see the phone
Me: Why? I need the screen replaced
Tech guy: Ok...send us a screen shot. it could be a cheap fix

Fucking me side ways! Really?

Coz drinking milk is a skill every CS student need for his/her LinkedIn profile. Sure, the recruiter's and company's job is to make sure you are proficient milk drinker.

If you want a New Zealand developer job, you need a work visa. If you apply a work visa you need a job offer to get enough points...

So at the end of February, my 8 year marriage met it's catastrophic end and I had to immediately relocate, with nada, to a state I've never before set foot in. I was hoping to find an entry level tech position, as I am largely self taught and don't have any certs. So far nothing. I spent 7 years as a cable tech, have to wait another few months to apply at the cable company, but everywhere else tells me I'm overqualified, or need certs/experience in the field. It's a bit discouraging. That's it. Rant over.

You know what's funny?
When every job post requires you to know atleast 20 things.. but then you find yourself stuck at a job that needs you to do 1 stupid thing. And you need to actually FIGHT to not lose all the skills and knowledge you collected till now :(

“You have a Jira?”
“You need a Jira, first”
“Open a Jira”
“You need a Jira for that too”
“That Jira is on the wrong board, plus you need to email _this_ form first”
Jira, Jira, Jira-fucking-jira, AAAHHHHHHHHHHH, STOP!

My job appears to be nothing more than an abstraction layer around Jira. A leaky abstraction

So I decided to get a master degree at my capital city (I got my first degree from my small hometown), and decided to get a job as a junior developers. I tried for an easier job like starbucks or something but apparently all of them turn me down as soon as they asked “What major you graduated from ?”

Never though I would start a career in software developing. Any tips I need to know about this job? (I can actually code quite well and my class starts at night)

Non tech coworkers before COVID-19: you don't need home office, it's only a way to avoid job responsibilities

Non tech coworkers today: yeah home office is a great idea, why we didn't think about it before

Broken app's cousin (they do similar things are share devs) is now broken again too.

On two calls at once. Yay.

THESE PEOPLE NEED TO BE REPLACED

TLDR why do I need to be like a competitive coder just to get a good job?

Why does being very good at technical interview questions beat having a portfolio of actual apps built using technology, tools, and skills that are much more relevant to the needs of doing the actual jobs?

I'm a full-time interviewee. If I would get paid for every interview, I wouldn't need a job.

Although today Friday,

It was a very sad day for me, I just got relieved of my only remote dev job, now to unemployed, I have a wife and home to take care in a semi bankrupt country, I need help.

Do you know where I can get good remote contracts?

FUCK ME!!

For a job, I have to create a form with more than 20 fields!! FUCK!!

The most shitty part is that I need to gather all the shit users fill in (if they even fill it in) and place in a shitty e-mail and send that to the client!! FUCK!!

The whole "first job" and "experience" situation is fucked up.

How on God's green earth am I supposed to get tucking experience if you cock suckers won't hire someone for their first job? Like fucking hell.

It's not like I'm going for a "skill demanding" job... I'm trying get a fucking cashier job. I'm fairly certain I can run a cash register and stock the shelves of a store without any experience doing it. It's not exactly rocket science...

I just need some fucking money.

This is my current dev/personal desktop, im not humble, im just poor! I just need to finish my studies so I can get a job!

No, brain. I don't need to know Python.

Shut up, you already know Ruby, PHP, and a fuckton of front-end tech, you don't need to --

Do you remember the 3 projects that we aren't working on anymore because we have the PS4 and Assassin's Creed?

I already have a job, moron! It sounds fun, but we...

What am I doing on codecademy?

Just checked a pr I need to take care of tomorrow…

“Please review [other pr] first, this solves a bug the other one introduces”

…Ah yes. Stupidity.

“Already tested by QA, accept without comments or job will be wasted.”

… I need a vacation or a megaphone to make someone deaf by screaming in their ears again and again: “follow the fucking processes instead of making QA preapprove your shitty code.”

I find a poor tester copy/pasting data from the test environment to the live one, as he accidentally broke it. I ask the DBA, " why isn't syncing SQL records part of the deployment pipeline?"

"You're front end. This is my job. Go do your job."

"... but it's an easy query, and you're exposing us to human error."

"You need to go sit down."

Desperately need a job, but seems like I'm unemployable. 🙃

Sooo, I just heard yesterday that Apple is setting up a new data centre near me in the next 5-8 years, but they need to build a power transformer first. Me thinks that should be enough time for a degree and some work experience before applying for a job there

After another unemployment w/ depression I need to find a job again. Some job ads keep posting pictures of whole crew wearing the same T-shirt holding a red cloth banner with some slogan of collectivism written on it. I believe those people only smile because it's a day off from work. Guess I'm not joining them anytime soon.

Job posting: "we require 1.5 years of experience in iOS development"

Also job posting: *doesn't mention a requirement for a degree*

Me: "Cool, this looks exactly like a job for me, I'll send them my résumé!

Recruiter returns to me a day after with this:

"You said you have no work experience, we said in the posting that you need to have 1.5 years of work experience"

THE JOB POSTING DOES NOT MENTION THIS ANYWHERE, THEY ONLY MENTION EXPERIENCE IN IOS DEVELOPMENT

WHY MAKE IT SO AMBIGUOUS AND THEN CHANGE YOUR STANCE

When I finally get a fucking response from a recruiter after sending my résumé to dozens upon dozens of companies, it's a bullshit response.

FUCK YOU.

Note: I am aware of the massive amount of AltRant crashes, I am sorry for making it worse. I need to work on 2 more major final tests that I must pass, but I think I will start fixing some of the crashes today.

I did an assessment for a company and passed the tests. A Microsoft teams interview with the lead developer and 2 other developers is in 2 hours! Fingers crossed boys!!!! I hope I get my first developer job!!!

Friend: 'im really anxious, i need a job this summer and i dont know if i can find one with my stack'
Me:'why, whats your stack?'
Friend:'php, mysql, javascript'
Me:'...DUDE'

My co-worker, still studying but working as a "senior dev", just decided that we don't need a test/staging environment anymore. We just "validate" (we also don't use the word "test" anymore) newly created features in production.

Makes absolutely sense...

Thank god I have a new job from february on!

No fuck off we don't need a team meeting about it.

We shouldn't need to go in front of a panel to begin with, let us get on with our job and let us automate the shit so sprint planning wouldn't be so difficult

First day of new job, starts in 3 hours. Imposter syndrome is strong! Lack of sleep from stress isn't helping!

On a side note, I have reconfirmed that I don't actually need sleep. College theories confirmed!

"This guy already has a job and probably gets contacted 30 times a week by other recruiters. I'm gonna send him a message telling him that I need a developer, no job description and no salary specified, with a company he never heard of. Yeah, he will totally send me back his resume"

I kept telling my boss my salary wasn't good enough for the job I was doing, and for over a year, he kept telling me HR says I need to prove myself. I got admission to school to do a masters and all of a sudden, HR doubled my salary. FML.

At my previous job, no matter how many times I explained it, "a jquery" was an image slider for by boss. No need to say new devs didn't know what the hell he was talking about when he said the clients wanted "a jquery".

Hi Lexter, we bought a template and we need....
---
Instant job rejection.

read a job requirement post says need programmer min exp about 4-5 years
language :- SWIFT,php
😂😂

Every time I tell someone my major they respond the same way: “I know your job prospects look good! I need my computer fixed right now...”

Yeah, let me write you a script real quick that will fix the screen you busted when yo sat on your laptop.

I need to find a job that's stressful so I can actually have rants...

(I'll give some context before the rant: I'm part if the IT department of a manufacturing company (actually I'm 1/2 of the department), and all the applications (old an new - except the ones used on production line) used in the company are my responsibility, that including most of databases too... Also, English isn't my native language so there will be some words or phrases that I'll probably write wrong... Sorry for that, if there are any corrections, I'll be glad to hear them)

So...

There will be an implementation of new "control point" on the "shipping department" which consists on a electromechanical equipment controlled by a PLC. And despite the original concept was a collaboration between 2 departments (we, IT, and Production Control), I was never taken in consideration about anything of the project... To be fair, I forget about its existence until two weeks ago.

So, a few days I learned that there are a huge delay regarding the original deadline (mainly because the supplier was delayed with the delivery of their system), and since two weeks (less, actually, because some holydays in between) I'm learning how to integrate that "P.o.S" into an existing application on a PC using a serial communication (not the main problem, as I've done that before... With another brand of PLC's) while avoiding buying any additional software (to get the communication done and in a easy way) and that sort of things... But discovering in the process that it will be necessary to acquire such additional SW in order to finish the job ASAP.

When suddenly I get the "news" that it's almost all my duty (and responsibility) to meet the original deadline, because it doesn't matter how the other departments screw all the schedule, it's the job of IT to get the shit done in time... And what is worst: they didn't said that in such straight manner, no, the implied it while making a quick test with the general manager.

I mean, WTF? Besides doing a "respectable" number of "user support" activities in a dialy basis, I also need to manage the activities of other departments? And also fix their screw ups on a schedule that I just learned days before?

And also there is a coworker (one of whom screwed up) that, almost every time she see me, is asking "how much until you'll finish?"

As I read on a meme years ago: "please, give patience, because if you give strength, I'll need bail money too..."

Damn... I don't know of the benefits of this work are worth all this nonsense

Well I got offered a position as the CTO of a local charity but the funding fell through. That job sounded pretty sweet.

Otherwise my dream is honestly not having one, like in a situation where I didn't need the money. I'd not working and basically just spend my time volunteering for stuff at my church

Soo I’ve been frustrated with my luck in finding a job, but I need to start working!

I have been thinking about starting my own web services (of some type) business.

I need a mentor, or a partner or just someone to talk about ideas with.

How does one go about finding someone like that?

BTW I know this isn’t a networking specific but I think it’s worth a shot.

Simply having a university degree is not a reasob for a bigger salary comapred to a non degree. Its just a school where you learn some of the stuff you need on the job. Therefore if you prove that you know the same it is the same. Same work same salary.

my parents just know I work with computers. they are happy that I have a job that pays well, and i'm happy.

do i need anymore then that?

Is it just me, or is the term full stack developer a bit carelessly thrown about in job listings and such?

In the past, as far as I can tell, you could refer to yourself as a full stack dev if you had experience with both front end and back end technologies.
If you for example knew HTML/CSS, JS, PHP and MySQL, you'd be a full stack dev.

Now however, I feel you need to know so much more to justify calling yourself an actual full stack dev, and yet most job listings ask for a full stack dev.

What do you guys think?
Should the term full stack developer still be used, and what do you need to know to justify calling yourself a full stack dev without feeling like a liar?

My biggest dev regret was that I've followed other people's dream.
I lost precious time into trying being the "good kid" for my family and support them in their time of need.
Now I'm considered old for a starter and getting a dev job becomes harder with each passing day.

I still can't get it why people looks at IT people as lowlife. If you need a new computer in your office I can get the right spec and help you to buy it. But moving the computer table is not my job 😠

Is it so much to ask for ability to do my job remotely. I work on a fucking computer, I can do this shit at home. I don't need to drive 50 miles there and back to do my job.
Flexibility is a thing.

The company now is making us work again on Saturday.

They want to 2 guys (me and the mobile developer) to entire systems for them in a 1-month time span.

I need another job asap.

The nice thing with working in IT, is that I dont need to have a CV in order to get a new job.

FUUUUUUUUUUCK FUCK FUCK FUUUUUUUUUUCK ! Sorry I needed to let this out. I make extra hours since a few weeks and this only because 1. I'm the only dev of the team (will seriously need more people). 2. I have to manage people remotely which, as a 3 years old experienced dev, is not what I expect of my job. 3. I need to finish the job of an intern (not even her fault but de was asked to make powerpoints and stuffs instead of working on the module we need).

And today we just asked me if I can work on saturday. NO. I love (or used to?) my job but this can't last for ever.

Fml I need a job

Just had a call to follow up a job aplication that was sent in, he is very confident that we need to arrange an interview and wanted to let me know he couldn't do this week. FUCK OFF YOU FUCKTARD, I wouldn't wipe my arse with your aplication your waisting my fucking time with bullshit crap like this in a job application! Your not going to get the job dick head! You have zero fucking experience or any ability to do the job!

Think it's beer time 🍺

It’s funny being on the other side of interviews. People say how complicated it is to get a job, and it is. But then they show up to a third round Senior Software Engineer technical interview and is unable to write a function on the white board in any language or even pseudo code to reverse a string. That isn’t complicated stuff...

Argh, very frustrating.

At home: Man I really love code and everything I can do with it. I'm a fucking wizard.

At work: You want me to copy and paste some text into the view for you? Okay... *cries into keyboard*

The other thing I did was write a reduce function to sort items in an array without modifying the original array.

.... I really need to find a job so I stop being the sole driver of my time. XD

I need a job but I don’t have experience:(

I work full time in backend web development and my sister that's in retail makes double what I make in a year... I need a new fucken job.

Note to self: if you have a tight deadline and need to rush a website / web app, use SASS because you're going to end up with 800+ lines of CSS because you suck at your job and you keep telling yourself you'll refactor everything but never get around it.

I am working as a junior in a company that pays me minimum wage and doesn't give a single fuck about my existence.
"Change the job", you say?
Well, that's what I am trying to do for, like, 3rd month now. No one wants to invest into junior...

Every day I go to work with thoughts about quitting, but I need a job... Even if it's like this...

fml.
F
M
L

First proper day of work today.

Started at 11. Listened to multiple guys shout about how much everyone made in this crap-infested cesspit of a sales job.

Got to a city I'd never been in at 2.

Walked around in the fucking rain knocking on doors till 9.

Got on the bus at 11.

I earned £20 the whole fucking day, which I'm not even going to get for a fucking month.

I'm would firebomb the office tomorrow, but I need this job. Badly :/.

Anyone have the experience where you are learning a new programming language and you are eager to do stuff with it but you need to use another one for your job? So frustrating!

F*ck Programming!

I just wanna live on Mars and forget this all.

JK. I need a job.

To all the developers with a permanent job:

Do you guys still reference the web when working on a project or you know everything and code everything perfectly w/o help?

Just wanted to know if I need more practice with my skills or am I good to go.

Somehow it always makes me feel good when I encounter a job related to programming without any need of a degree. It's always good to know there's still a backdoor even if everything goes to hell.

i need a job. :/

A short bittersweet story.

Ever since I quit my previous job a couple of months and started working as a freelancer, I haven't felt the need to visit devRant.

Everything that's rant worthy is essentially my fault.

When my boss say "we gonna build a new software and we gonna use JS" I start wondering if i really need this job

I hate my job enough that even thinking about a meeting with my boss gives me stomachaches and a dizzy head. I hate to admit this, because not only did I use to love my job, I also need to stick it out for a few more months because of immigration purposes. Fuuuuck.

Started a new job on Monday. STILL DON'T HAVE ACCESS TO THE FUCKING SERVERS I NEED TO ANYTHING. Holy fucking shit I'm annoyed. Fuck you corporate bullshit. I already feel like quitting.

Client: "When will feature X be ready? How much time to you need?"

Me: "Well, considering the size of the feature it will probable ta..."

Client: "You have exactly 8 minutes to finish or I'll throw a tantrum."

A bit exaggerated, but it pretty much sums up my job.

Fuck I don't feel like going back to work. This is new, maybe I need a new job?

For as long as the world needs computers to do complicated stuff, it'll need good, skilled developers to tell them what to do.

Good, skilled developers don't come easily or cheaply, so they can command a hefty premium, both in terms of job perks & salary.

So putting that together - a well paid, good job in a reasonably stable field? Sign me up.

Hey boss. I’m not a mind reader. If you need me to change what I’m doing or how I’m doing it, you have to tell me. You changed my job three times since I was hired and our processes twice. Now would be a good time to pick a play and stick with it.

I sometimes hate my boss (CTO in a medium sized company). Despite that he is a real genius, he changes his mind every fucking day, only because he has 'thought through' a fucking problem which should not be in his concerns. That is my job you fucktard! You haven't been coding for 20 years and now you tell me how to do my job. But then when I need valuable input from you, you SKIP my scheduled MEETINGS FOR WEEKS!

JUST LET ME DO MY JOB, I'M NO IDIOT, BUT YOU GIVE ME THAT FEELING THAT I AM ONE!

Any (Magento) developers in Nottingham need a job ? no experience needed, although php knowledge is a must..

This is an actual rant because we can't find anyone..

!rant

applying for a job now, wish me luck guys, i need it !

In a mediocre job since last 4 years with just a developer designation, but we simply use Java based tools and products to do most of our job. Need to study for a change in job.

Literally every morning:
"Let me see what to focus on: JavaScript/Java/C++/Python/Data science/ML/AI/NodeJS/...." The list goes on.

Every Evening:
"I need to focus on Data Structures and Algorithms. So let me stick to Java for now."

Next Day:
Back to the same routine.

2 months have passed and I have not seriously studied or concentrated on anything :(

Depressed.

I'm going insane.
My colleague wanted to sort an excel spreadsheet and got an error. "Can't sort, column width must match" (or something along the lines) . Which basically means you got non uniformly merged cells.
Without telling me this, he asked for training on how to change column width precisely, after spending 30 minutes explaining he done just that. Column by column for all 40 columns he did just that. Resized to 10 of something (no one really knows what those width numbers in Microsoft Excel really mean) and try to sort.
I Shit you knot, he got the exact same error and flipped out angry at me for creating a shitty system (I think he spent an hour or two total with double and triple checking the sizes)
I did laugh because of this, but I do feel bad for not asking what was the real reason before all of this.

Boss says to give budget for a job. I give budget by associated cost of materials that we use. Simple math device cost x amont, we need y number of x. I give budget of $25k. Boss says that's great, he gave a cost of $10k to customer. We need to work on getting it closer to that.
WTF do you need me for?

I do not have the capacity to look for a job. I hate trial-and-error, I can't lie and I suck at talking to people in all but a cooperative context. I'm a decent webdev and I'm willing to learn, but to be able to do it I need skills that I don't have and I wouldn't need.

You don’t need a side project

Your job is a JOB.

My family thinks I really need to stay away from the screen and get a life.

I really don't know how to explain them my job. :/

I NEED A JOB

No offense...

But if I had a dollar for everytime, I faked a laugh in my office. I wouldn't need the job anymore.

*Surrounded by fucking dumbwits in the office*

Need to get a good job working remote so that I can move to Guatemala with my wife and have an adventure while we're still young

I applied for an unknown job.

Email: you'll be taking Junior Developer

Interviewer: We need fullstack developer with a salary of $100 for two months of training and $450 if you have great accomplishments

Found out today that someone has a cron job running doing a daily DB export since June 1 of 2015. The dumps average 2GB. I am amazed that storage engineering hasn't complained. Here's the kicker. It's a Dev database. WTF!? Dev? I freed up a terabyte of space today. Now I need to find out who owns that cron job.

I need a new fucking job. Woke up at half 11, missed a couple of meetings. Think I'm just apathetic coz of stupid fucking lying bastard management.

In your earlier years. Try to work in a startup. Don't go for corporate life yet. You will learn hell of a lot in a small startup.

And also if you are doing job hunting just spam the recruiters and top officials of the company in LinkedIn until you get an interview setup. Because fuck it you need a job !

A power to convince my manager of the stuff or time I need to develop and why isn't most things "just an hour's job"!

Linkedin looks like some devs went to Facebook, right clicked, saved a copy of the webpage and just edited some of the text. Why do we need "Like" and "Comment" features?
It was fine when it was just a professional networking site. Boring, sure, but at least it did the thing it was created to do.
It's all very cringe now.
PS I got my current job and will probably get my next job through Linkedin, but it still makes me cringe

Amount needed to buy an apartment: $300k

Current (liquid) net worth: $350k

After: $50k

Thoughts:
-I hope I'm not buying a lemon
-I need more money... a better paying job... this took me 6 years...
-I think I now know how my dad felt paying for private college; he should've just brought me an apartment instead...

-It's nice I found a job programming, CS was not my college major.
-I wish I studied CS? Then maybe I could've gotten into Google...

First time posting. But I need an advice, I want to learn a programming language to get a better job. I have just the basics of C#, should I keep going with C# or go with F#? I heard a lot of good thing about F#. Thanks. You guys are awesome!

I've just started my new career with a job in IT operations and I love it. After my electrical engineering degree I fell into a job as a website manager for a small company, I self taught html and css and I knew from then that I had found a job that didn't feel like a job. I'm​ excited to learn everything I need to know to progress as far as I can go in this industry. In my first few weeks at this new job (where i have my own office!) I've self taught python to create automation scripts for live projects, currently up to my eyeballs trying to figure out how to change the VB code for an excel module.....Then there have been so many other projects and bugs and I love it! Any tips and advice is greatly appreciated!

I'll say one thing for June job searching...just by looking at logos it's really easy to shop around for a job that won't be at a woke company. Now I just need a job search filter that lets me sort out the temporary rainbow logos from the normal ones. (Honestly, how does anyone, gay or straight, work at any company that so blatantly shills for dollars through performative pandering? Just June. After that, "Gays? What gays?" Either commit to the WHOLE narrative all year long forever and change your logo permanently or GTFOH.)

I feel so fucking happy, today i was accepted as a new Dev on a new Job, I will need to move and leave some things, but man, I was really thinking that maybe i wasn't enough for this country

Had to turn down a job offer today because of a BUNCH of red flags in their hiring process that hinted that their corporate culture was absolute trash. HR people are trash when they do whatever they want to with your time just because you’re in need. If they had been more ethical and professional, I’d have a job and they’d have a position filled. But, no, they had to play stupid games and win stupid prizes.

What the Fuck is with recruiters saying you need more experience to get the job?! I'm applying so I can GET said experience! As a perfect metaphor: a college course should not have itself as a prerequisite or else nobody can take it!

It's a stupid catch-22 that I'm stuck in, from which there is no escape until I land that first job... 😒

On my first day at new job, a non-technical person used CQRS word while explaining the system. When I asked what's need of such a complex pattern for simple query type service, he simply backed off. 😝

When I got my current role, I moved from a Desktop C# job to the Full Stack Web job I now have. I had C# experience and had dabbled in some spaghetti JS at home but was certainly no web developer. When I finished explaining my experience to a recruiter, he said:
"Oh, ok. So, I can see that you have some.good C# experience, but we need to improve your .net"
"Yes."

So my phone got stolen last night. FOR FUCK SAKE. I scrape together enough money to get another cheap phone after the last one broke, and now I need YET ANOTHER ONE WHEN I HAVEN'T GOT A JOB AND CAN'T APPLY FOR ONE WITHOUT ARGRFHUJGHIOSDJGBH:USKDGHISD:

The most senior person on the devops team just turned in his two week notice. I started a month after him and am now the most senior. Our old manager was fired back in the spring.

I really need a new job.

Developer these days are more and more required to become language agnostic. I just wondering nowadays so many job posted looking for "fcking fullstack devs". It sound to me like "we need a b!tch that we can fcuk with anystyle, anytime, anywhere and paid once" #nooffense

It's 9 at night, I am finally logging off and my project manager sends me a qa report I have been waiting on for a week

He decided we need to launch today, I have a list of bugs to fix and I am falling asleep

I fix all the bugs in record time, send him the preview link and of course he doesn't respond, now I am gonna blow a deadline, get everyone pissed and possibly lose my job

This is not the first time this has happened, I have had this at every job I have ever worked at, project managers seem to think that I somehow know about the bugs before they tell me and expect it to be fixed as soon as they tell me about it, they will take their sweet time answering my inquiries but if I dare miss a call or not report within 10 minutes I will lose my job

Fuck this shit, I don't need food that badly

If you think some developers are a dumb.... you've never met support...

They need "training" to use systems they should already know...

I didn't know the system much either but just by looking at the screen and trying a few simple options, I figured it out...

I need a new word, and maybe job, what is dumber is than a monkey?

Me at my new job: Can I please install a version controlling system to keep my codes organized?

Boss: why do you need it? can't you just navigate the directories?

Me: I will go mad in 2 years!
....
Opens VS 2019 ... sees Local Git Repo system... mind blown!!! :O

The ability to find a cushy job with comfortable pay, benefits, and security. I don't want much, I just want to not have to need much ever again.

Some Devs need to be better about sharing info. Like, I don't want to play 20Qs just to learn how to configure a system I never used. You have job security, don't worry! Other people are allowed to know what ya know; you don't need to impress anyone!

WHY DO ANYONE NEED TO CREATE AN ACCOUNT WHEN APPLYING FOR A JOB?

I was talking to some people I know that I was looking for a job. My (now) boss overheard that conversation and just told me that I don't need to look any further.

need some advice

i resigned from my job today , it was my first job worked 2 years here.
i kinda wanted to rest a month or two is it a good decision or i should look for new one immediately

The paradox: U need a Job to get Experience but u need Experience to get a Job…

So a product manager emailing devs long essays on requirements? how does that sound? Aren't developers just supposed to implement the specifications? Is requirement gathering and design their job too? Maybe I need a new job before I go crazy.

For those of you that had to answer a lot of "whats the Big O of ..." questions to get a job, how often did you need to use Big O analysis to actually do the work?

At the airport with the missus going back home, making time in the duty free. One of the people working on it asked a very dry "what are you looking for?" with no salutation whatsoever. I was this👉👈close to answer "a new job!"

Worst: Seeing the huge list of stuff I need to learn to land a job in WebDev knowing I kept on trying to get unfinished project as close as possible to a usable stage.

Best: Learning and using some tools and better OSs than before

To the guy who made the chrome extension for DevRant, please make a back button. Everytime I read a comment I need to go back at the top of the news feed, which is kind of annoying.

Despite this - great job and thank you

Job hunting is so fucking stressful...
Everyone wants something different and the one company I actually might fit in does not have a position right now - great!

Oh and...why....the fuck... Does a company with a 10k downloads app need an aptitude test? :)

Network (people not infrastructure)
My first programming job was because of someone I knew in college worked there. Strangely he also got me my fourth programming job.

My fifth job was a recruiter. First time that ever worked. But it does work.

The biggest thing to remember that in an interview you are selling yourself. So you need to understand a little of sales and marketing.

Rookie here in need of help.

Is it possible to become a backend dev within 4 months?

I have been learning frontend on and off for a couple of years because I hate my job as a salesman. But I always imagined myself more as backend developer.

Spring Semester is now over for me. Now it's time for 3 and a half months of a whole lot of nothing. (Productive at least)

Still don't have a job, so I have no money. My applications keep getting ignored. I just really need an entry-level job right now, because I've never been employed.

How can someone like everyone at their workplace yet somehow hate what they do so much?

I need to get out of this fucking city. I need to leave this fucking useless pointless css with a sprinkle of php job.

I just feel do frustrated.

Two interns who were handed content population tasks complained “See, we’re going to content pop for the rest of our lives here”.

Two of us developers took back the job and finished it in half a day — what “rest of your lives” do you need to compete a simple job? Pffftt.

Spoilt kids nowadays need to learn how to walk first before try to fly.

So we need a plumber, but first, show me some plumbing that you had do just for fun

-if every job would be like a developer

Would you go back to a previous corp where the work is mediocre (but handleable) and the people/ benefits are awesome, or keep looking for a new job where you need to learn the climate again?

You are very unhappy at the current place.

!!!Question here!!!

I am enrolled in a full time course (bachelor of Engineering, Computer Engineering), currently in second year, will be in third by June 2017, and I have a job offer from a Japan Based Company, so it legal to do the job while being enrolled in a full-time course? Also, if I drop from the course and focus on job, so will that be good?

The package is really good, but the degree is important (at-least in India), I want to know about other parts of the world also.

I am inclined towards joining the job, but then it frightens me as the culture here is (degree is important, talent is not!), but I have faith in myself, after watching many motivational videos on youtube, I feel like following my passion, but then I need to be practical as well.

What to do, what not to do? I need your help, please let me know what are your views?

Hii guys! Im new to DevRant and am reaching out to QA specialists out there!

I got an interview for Junior QA specialist and i need some tips on to what to focus my time studying on. ANY TIPS WILL BE APPRECIATED.

Super nervous since its my first interview for a Co-op job and it may be my last chance to get a co-op job before i graduate. Pleeeease help

when you hire a third party team and the ceo is so technically behind that the team starts treating you like an idiot as well.
Unlike my boss who can barely work a mac, i can use github so you dont have to send me a zip file.
Unlike my boss, you can use big words.
Unlike my boss, you dont have to treat me like im stupid.

Marketing people are like
"Hey, I have a vision. I need someone to develop this Grab-like app in a few days".

Fuck that CEO, fuck your vision,. fuck your story. Nobody wants to work alone in a large scale application. You need to have a full IT department to do that job with the ability to work through time.

Well my good mate is sending me a message asking how to install a graphics card because his won't lock in...

Mind you, this is the guy who watched me build his pc, taught him how to do it, were both in the same TAFE class for information technology and his job is repairing computers and replacing parts... And I still can't find a job in IT -.-

I need your help with ideas for toy projects in android to get a portfolio.
For backend I know node, Python and Java.

I have no idea what to do and I must have something up my sleeve before I can apply for my first dev job.

Thanks!

I applied for a full remote position and got a job offer. The contract however says that I need to be in the office 3 days a week. 2 hours commute one way...

What a waste of time

Started a new job...

Now need a new a keyboard and mouse, recommendations greatly appreciated. 😃

!rant

Just need a job where i have to travel a lot, meet new cultures, new people, try everything new

So I'm in the process of learning go for building RESTful microservices and I have a really stupid but simple question.
Does a go microservice need more than one file? I ask this because my day job is c# and for those who know, asp.net rest projects have a lot of files

"Hey, just scheduling in some time for a catch-up today, looks like you've just got focus time so I've scheduled it then"

"Wait, why did you decline my invite?!"

Because I actually need time to focus and do my job, and spending an hour talking to your sorry arse about something irrelevant doesn't trump time I need to focus? Bleh. People.

Got a new job in data processing. Took them a couple days to get me a laptop and two weeks after that to get the core programs I need to begin working. Found out today that I *still* don't have access to everything I need for my job.

What's with so many developers using shitty hardware? It's literary the one tool you need for your profession, there should be absolutely no objection to having the best one available. Stop bitching about some software using 50% of your CPU when you're on the bare entry-level HW ffs! And don't give me that "can't afford it" bullshit. If you take your car to the repair shop, you're also paying for the tools needed for the job; the same way, your customers need to pay for the tools you need as a developer. If you can't afford that, there's clearly not enough demand for the work you do, so go find a different job.

If they are a good PM just do your job, they’ll leave you alone. If not, just throw some of that micro management back at them. Tell them you need at least an hour of their time to show them how to properly hold a pencil, but that if they need to hold off on that it’s understandable as they have plenty of flaws to work on. That should make things fun

So, I'm about to be up shit's Creek. I need a new source of income, ideally either a new job or becoming a freelancer. I have been making intranet sites with ASP.NET for a while now, and I can tell two things:
1. It's too corporate minded, so I'll need a fucking degree
2. It's too corporate minded, so I'll be stuck with people like my boss, who still use tables to align content despite the project having bootstrap.

I need to do something more fulfilling, but I probably will have to leave my job by December anyway due to some major fuck ups in my life, do I need to get something lined up. I have been brushing up on my HTML, CSS, and JavaScript skills, but when it comes down to it, I suck at design so my "portfolio" is blatant clones to learn CSS and shitty Spartan things.

Basically, I'm anxious, terrified, and unable to figure out what comes next. Do I keep sending job applications and praying to whatever deity will listen, it do I start figuring out this freelance thing? If freelance, then how do I get into it? I'm terrified and desperate.

Have you ever been in the situation "I need to leave this job, my health demands it... But I can't, I need money" ?
What did you do? 😢

I would freelance but I have no idea where to start to find clients...

I would also stop for a while to make a proper portfolio or GitHub profile, since I always worked for companies with code discretion, I have nothing to show to new employers 😕

Need a new job sigh

Have you ever worked in a place that's boring? Projects, coworker, I find them either uninteresting or dumb. I'm worrying in a way because this is removing every possible will to work on a side project from me.

I don't know if I need holidays, a new job, or both 😥

Guys, I need an advise regarding summer jobs:

I have had this awesome summer job for 2 summers as a mountainbiking guide, which is fun, has awesome perks, and pays relatively well.

But it doesn't really net me any useful experience, so should I seek a job as a programmer instead?

I'm studying first year bachelor's, but I have experience, so I should get a job nevertheless.

Since most of the people around here can code decently well and also have the capacity and knowledge(imo) to trade stocks regularly, I'd like to know if anyone really does it?
Since I'm currently jobless, I have dabbled a bit in the share market and have been quite successful while following very specific rules, so I was curious if anyone has done/is doing this regularly as an alternative job/source for additional money!

!rant

Just been told that my company needs to make my position redundant - and I have my wedding coming up!! Awful day... Anyone need a seasoned developer?