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*me coding in Atom in world history class*
*Teacher walks over*
Teacher: Are you on task?
Me: I'm taking notes.
Teacher: It doesn't look like it.
Me: I set a dark theme for Microsoft Word.
*Teacher walks away*13 -
Me: *downloaded wordpress for first time*
Me: *opens folder in Atom*
.php file: Hi there! Welcome to your new bl-
Me: *delete wordpress folder and reformats hard drive*
4 -
Not Dev
My passport appointment date was 26/03/2021 and i saw only 26.
Travelled 100 kms for this mistake yesterday. 😭😭4 -
Me and my manager throughout 2020
January:
Me: So umm, we can release the new app version
Manager: No we promised client X app first go build that
Me: umm, ok.
February:
Me: so the app is done, but client hasn't setup area L so there is no data there
Manager: ok, I'll have them setup area L soon ™️
March:
Manager: area L is too much work to setup, use workaround L thats way better
Me: ok ...
April:
Manager: client is nitpicking on design and layout please make this mess even greater
Me: ok, anything else?
Manager: yeah also start on app for client Z!
Me: and our app update?
Manager: later son! Risk tooo muchos!
May:
Me: the mess for client X is done, and first version for client Z is also ready for test
Manager: ok good work, here is a new set of things to mess up
Me: but... Seriously, wtf?!
Manager: clients want quality
Me: ah ok, not nitpicking, cool
June:
Manager: client X went MIA, but client Z will send you a weekly list of things they don't understand and want to change
Me: ah great, truly worth postponing my February holiday to release nothing
July:
Manager: so, how we doing on all them changes
Me: well, I am a loyal custodian with alot of pleasure in my work!
Manager: ah ok good!
Me: any news from client X??
Manager: who
Me: mkay ... n.v.m
August:
Me: can we release yet?
Manager: change, we can!!!
Me: are you Obama?
Manager: ambitions
Me: fuck you pay me
September:
Me: I am confident we can now release all 3 apps as promised mid september
Manager: great!! Good work
Also manager: you know that immensely complex area within the app? That needs a complete rewrite because we have bad ux there!!!
Me: ok... To which requirements?
Manager: good ux, we must have standards
Me: but the layout of page R id generic as page F so then we need to align there as well
Manager: go! Do!
Me: ok I'll come up with my own requirements then
Manager: we also need documentation
Me: really!!!! How clever of you to fire colleagues T & P and we now have zero workforce for that
Manager: things will get better someday
Me: ah, great! Put it on my calendar
October:
Me: I need a sabbatical biatch
Manager: a what?4 -
Storm: No internet for you!
Me: *switches to 4G cellular data which seems to be mostly unaffected* Take that weather!
Storm: *all hell breaks loose outside*
Me: mkay... Going to bed anyway...3 -
For fucks sake...
If it is a new feature, out of scope for the next release ...
It is OUT OF SCOPE FOR THE NEXT RELEASE, MKAY?????4 -
Don't use tables!!! Tables are bad MKAY??
said the designer that needs to tripple wrap links to render them as buttons...
3...
2...
1...
Facepalm.init()7 -
I like SMOOSH yarn1 AN yarn2... MKAY from Lolcode. Reading the language always gets a smile out of me.1
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Golang code review be like
> oh no, you used prohibited `else` keyword
Context? Dosent matter. Its banned, mkay?
Fix? Oh you know its hell to read now22 -
i have been browsing trough my gists and this is what I have found.
HAI
HOW DUZ I PRINTSMILE
VISIBLE "SMILEZ!"!
IF U SAY SO
HOW DUZ I PRINTSMILEZ NUMBERZ
I HAS A SMILEZLINE ITZ ""
IM IN YR LOOP NERFIN YR NUMBERZ WHILE NUMBERZ BIGGR THAN 0
SMILEZLINE R SMOOSH SMILEZLINE AN "SMILEZ!" MKAY
IM OUTTA YR LOOP
VISIBLE SMILEZLINE
IF U SAY SO
VISIBLE "O HAI! NOT MY WERK! LOL!:):)DIS WAY CUZ I LIEK SMOOSH:)"
I HAS A COUNTER ITZ 3
IM IN YR LOOP NERFIN YR COUNTER WHILE COUNTER BIGGR THAN 0
PRINTSMILEZ COUNTER
IM OUTTA YR LOOP
VISIBLE ":)N DIS WAY CUZ QUESTION. LOL!:)"
COUNTER R 3
IM IN YR LOOP NERFIN YR COUNTER WHILE COUNTER BIGGR THAN 0
I HAS A UDDERCOUNTER ITZ COUNTER
IM IN YR INNERLOOP NERFIN YR UDDERCOUNTER WHILE UDDERCOUNTER BIGGR THAN 0
PRINTSMILE
IM OUTTA YR INNERLOOP
VISIBLE ":)"!
IM OUTTA YR LOOP
VISIBLE ":)LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!:):)KTHXBYE"
KTHXBYE9 -
Recruiter: Hey! Ya want new job?!?!
Me: Maybe what bout???
Recruiter: Just mix rabies virus with influenza virus...
Me: Ah so ... Zombie apocalypse??
Recruiter: Yeah something like that!!!
Me: Mkay where does one sign? -
My manager sent me a Desktop screen without informing me and I also didn't ask for the same. Now, he wants me to use it. And i am like, WTF 😡😡. Who the fuck told you in ur dreams to send me this shit.8
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Screw Scrum, screw it very much. Is it a task or a story? Oh let's make it a story to track points. What are points, really? *20 minute grilling always follows* Well they're kind of a roundabout way of talking about time without talking about time, mkay? But last time 2 points took you a day, what gives now? What do you mean points are for internal use, but how will management plan ahead for next quarter? Ok, let's mix in all those new people, and propotionately bump the expectation for the sprint, mkay? Yeah, they did 34 points per sprint over there, we'll just add those in. Oh, and by the way, after the 4-day estimation session we had where everyone was seizuring, I scheduled us at 645 points for the coming quarter, mkay? Don't worry, I added 15% for the "unexpected dtuff" so you're safe. Fuck you scrum, scrum-fall, whatever you are. Lost a dev lead role once for being honest about it after a year with a team that loved me, and projects completed more or less on time. Been reconsidered for a dev lead role for being honest about it in another place. Somebody else peddle this kool-aid, this one prefers a walk-on role in the wall to a lead role in the cage.5
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I am tired of switching my role at a startup where I work. I was primarily hired as a backend developer but some times i have to handle sprints, i have to become machine learning engineer, a devops engineer and now even frontend. Yuck. I am sòoooooo tired..6
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My fellow developer was given a responsibility of writing unit test cases.
And instead of mocking the db calls he ended up making actual calls to db and adding realtime data to firestore everytime a test runs. Also he used mocha for the same. When i told him that we need to mock the db calls he said he will use sinon.js for the same and for code coverage his plans were to use istanbul.
I was like FUCKKKKKKK. , why the fk you aren't using jest. I mean whyyyyyyyy. WHAT THE FK4 -
Well ... If the server response does not give me the new form data, how am I supposed to display that form without any data???
FML4 -
The owner of a github repo has added me as a contributor but haven't given me write access, so i can't push commits.
When i asked him, he said i have to make PR. The fork button is also disabled. So i guess i can't make a PR also.
Now WTF i am suppossed to do now?
No write access, fork disabled . Still i have to push my commits ....ughhhh2 -
A client just replied to a two month old email telling him that the next release will contain a fix for a bug asking whether this release will fix that bug... Mkay then...
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Is here anyone who really thinks that there is any benefit of participating in hackathons?
Acc. to me, hackathons doesn't makes a good developer but only a good resume(only if u win them)10 -
If you are asked to give a referral to a candidate for a job, what are the things that u r gonna focus on his/her resume ?2
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👋 to all my fellows working on saturday.
Let's spill out the real reasons. I will go first :
Working because my manager wants to justify the salary. He wants the team to work more before going to december holidays. Although this one day doesn't make any difference 😑 😑😑😑😑😑😑6 -
Merry xmas to all
Witnessed the first ever world cup won by my country via cinema.
It can't be any better -
How are you building your products today?
-> What is your tech stack?
-> Your reasons for choosing them?
-> Any pain points you can help other indie hackers avoid?
I will start with mine -11 -
Developing for mobile feels like crap to a web dev (ME). I spend days configuring testing and CD and when the builds and 563 tests finally pass, and I try and download the APK thinking it'll work PSYCHE the app can't open.
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I am so fkd up in my current job that i don't have time to even switch the job or give interview to other company5
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Has anyone here tried spacehey.com. Recently, i checked there are now 50,000 people on spacehey. If someone has tried it, i just want to know why people are registering themselves there? 🤔1
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Hola community!! Everyone going over this, please read this once and honestly answer my query.
I am on a probation at a startup. When i will be full-time, then the startup has promised me to provide CTC of 7,50,000(inr) i.e 10,000$ (usd).
Now I want to switch this startup company. Here are my reasons -
1. Less people, more work. - Well, that's what we call a startup. The tech team consists of 3-4 members only and we ourselves have to do the whole thing from end to end. This consists of designing the architecture, PR reviews, qa testing and coding ofcourse.
2. I see myself that I am capable enough to earn 1.5 times more than the above CTC. Also, all my friends are earning 2x the above ctc.
3. Also, there is no senior in the team except founder himself. This really seems awful as can't learn from anybody.
4. Also, i have plans of higher studying due to which i have to entrance exams. So i need to prepare them too. Switching to an established company can mean more money and less work.
Now, can anyone suggest me whether my reasons to switch are legit or vague??1 -
I am making a WYSIWYG text editor for my next Product. Is there anything that I should include and is currently lacking in text Editors of Medium, Hackernoon etc.
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