— Why do you want to work at our office in Mexico?
— I want to be a señor developer.

Whitespace is the most valuable part of your code.

Shamelessly stolen from reddit

I have a little Gradle,
It's slow as f*king sin,
And when I'm on a deadline,
It loves to sit and spin.

Oh, Gradle, Gradle, Gradle,
It takes all goddamn day,
I guess I'll make some Ramen,
'Coz Gradle loves to play.

/rant

I hate everybody who says JavaScript is the best language because of loose typing and its easy to learn, YES OF COURSE IT IS EASY!

ITS FUCKING JAVASCRIPT! IT WAS MEANT TO BE EASY! AND THEN SOME ASSHOLE CAME ALONG, CREATED NODE AND THOUGHT THAT IT WAS A GOOD IDEA!
NOW WE HAVE TO DEAL WITH THIS SHIT EVERYWHERE BECAUSE PEOPLE WHO WROTE CODE FOR UX NOW THINK THEY KNOW WHAT NEEDS TO HAPPEN ON THE SERVERSIDE!!
GOD FUCKING DAMNIT I HATE THIS ANALTOY OF A LANGUAGE.
YOU THINK JAVASCRIPT IS THE BEST?! DO YOU REALLY??!!! OH YEAH!?!
WELL FUCK YOU AND GO TO HELL, YOU ARE NOT A DEVELOPER IN MY EYES, GO HOME KIDDO, LEARN C OR ASM OR HOW A FUCKING COMPUTER ACTUALLY WORKS!!
AND THEN TELL ME AGAIN JAVASCRIPT IS A WELL DESIGNED AND PROPER LANGUAGE!!
I'M OUT!

I wanted to work on my sideprojects on the last days of the year but then my wife spawned a childprocess and somehow it eats up all my ressources..

2019 resolutions/goals recap: (non-personal ones)
1) Improve diet (did; e.g. ramen and fast food to clean keto)
2) Lose weight (did; lost 24 pounds!)
3) Find a good job (did, twice)
4) Buy a harp (did not; large and expensive, no place to put it, and I have small children who would absolutely break it)
5) Keep house clean, even if it's by myself (did, somewhat; I cleaned some, managed to get one other person to clean semi-regularly, and another sporadically)
6) Work on social awkwardness (did; read and applied Dale Carnegie's The Art of Public Speaking, which netted me my last job offer. Still pretty awkward though)
7) Move out of the desert (did not; not enough money, and job didn't allow remote work)
8) Stop bloody waiting on people (did not; still very guilty of this...)

I don't remember the rest 🙁 didn't write them down last year. But I still accomplished 5 out of the 8 I remembered, with one being a pass, so 5/7!

-----

2020 resolutions/goals:
1) Finally move out of the desert
2) Invest 20% of my income every month
3) Reduce bills by 20%
4) Solve/address some health issues
5) Make a schedule so things regularly get done around the house, e.g. cleaning
6) Find some friends and make time for them
7) Replace Debian with something else
8) Revamp my backup system
9) Be proactive and stop waiting on people
10) Build a (stationary) coil gun for fun

This little ducker

makes me happy everytime i see him

@dfox
just thought about it...
why not devrant rubber duckies?

(this might be proposed in some other comment/rant already, didnt check for it)

Focus on algorithms first and syntax last. Solve problems, then code.
If it uses power, has an I/O interface, and stores code, you can do stuff.
Dont get caught up in the little shit like specific code formatting and who's right or wrong between tabs or spaces. (It should be TABS anyway.)
Don't take shit from anyone.
Be confident not cocky.
Learn GIT as much as you can.
Don't burn out.
Get up and stretch.
Don't argue with your Operating Systems professor about why you shouldn't have to learn Linux.
Don't fall into the "I want to be a game developer" trap. Make your own games on your own time. You won't learn shit at school about it.
9/10 of the real world workforce is who you know, so don't be a dick. Those people might be the difference between Ramen noodles and steak dinner for you.
Charge market competitive rates and set an hourly rate that defines the clientele you deal with.
Don't ever, EVER, do trade or spec work. Free work don't pay the bills. Always start the clock when you're not sleeping, eating, or shitting. If you're emailing, calling, texting, or otherwise interacting with or on behalf of a client, bill them. Don't be a bitch when they decide they don't want to pay you. Get yours. Watch "Fuck You. Pay Me." at least once a month on YouTube.

I usually start going through the code and as I do I draw (connected) shapes for every part of the code, as I do I add "features" to the shapes (little spikes, give them stripes etc) that way I'm able to "see" what is missing and how the shapes should interact

this might be a bit weird to explain but it helped me a lot to understand what the code is doing and get it rolling again

At my fucking wits end, but coding will help me prevail.

Got kicked out my apartment because I couldn't make the payment. Fucking job I have is fucking useless (dev and administrator) in terms of pay. They basically have me by the balls. Can't leave because I need the money, need to leave because I need more money.

Fuck it. Tired of eating noodles and ramen. Tired of being fucked around like this. Paying for my own studies has fucked me harder than a bottle of tequila and a casino trip.

But I shall code, and I shall code until I prevail.

To the place I work for, fuck you (not being unfair, I earn less than the receptionist and I have a degree, a plethora of certs, and a few years exp). My time will come, and when it does, I'll come out on top.

Until then, I rant and code.

Just don't get too attached to a company. At certain point you'll have to move on.

Dammit, just put the date somewhere next to the title when writing an article. It's amazing how much context might be missing if there's no date when dealing with software issues.

Got fired in an email by the boss himself, because according to him I was doing poorly and we had to part ways. He couldn't even spend 10 minutes to say this in person. Maybe the funniest thing is that it was written in Translit (i.e. using Latin letters to write something that should not use Latin letters) with a lot of errors, and this is a guy who has founded several successful companies. This is one of two co-owners of the company, i.e. the business-oriented one, and the tech guy (the other co-owner) had left some months prior to that. I'm mostly glad that I had to leave.

People who fall for headlines like "Learn React in 5 minutes" are among the first to be replaced by bots.

Finally being self-employed and independent...

...time to rejoin devRant!

So, hi Guys! What did i miss in the last year?

When people tell you how easy your job is, the best thing to do is to make them do it for themselves.

Hate those People...

I read the documentation.

the moment you get a job offer from am fortune 100 company but its in another country and you cant move because of wife and family ... :-/

Amazon API ... seriously...this thing is documented over 3 different pdfs in 3 different locations with 3 different requestpattern, 2 different answerpattern and requestthrottling per minute and per hour takes the rest...and then you just do basic stuff e.g. request all orders that were refunded by amazon... who the hell designed this mess?

Really, Windows?

Websites that show a notification dot the first time I visit with zero interaction from my end: I hope you die. This is terrible exploitation of UX, and unless I really need something, I'm leaving the site within seconds.

i'm wondering how long it will take until marketeers/recruiters/"ad-people" will find this sacred place and ruin it for everyone...

i hope there is a "ban this asshole" button in the backend for...you know....just in case...

what a great idea to do server upgrades on a friday evening...and i can do it alone...and am responsible that everything works as expected...what a great day today...and i hate every single second of this day yet.. :-/

damnit i'm a developer, not a sysadmin, just because i can do it doesnt mean that i'm supposed to do it..what about our admins? what get they paid for? rebooting the coffeemachine? fuckers already left the building

How come so many people are talking about JSON, but nobody is talking about JDAUGHTER?

The weirdest thing happened a couple of days ago: a dude messaged me on Facebook because one of his employees saw me on Stack Overflow regarding a framework I haven't touched for 3 years.

Me: I'm a hardcore dev lookin for trouble, can't flex on me, js on the streets and css in the sheets, watchoutttt

Also me: fuck how do I control F but like more

Also also me: I wonder how many ramen packets I'd have to eat to retire at 30

just might have optimised myself away by recommending a software to my boss which does 90% of the tools i'm maintaining right now...wondering if i will still be in this chair next year

...waiting for Twitter/Facebook to implement a "Rant this!" Button...

That moment when you develop on localhost and wonder why the page does not refresh while in fact you're looking at the staging.

"Let me just quickly clean up the old stashes since everything is merged and I won't need them... "

Guess what, I needed that stash, and I had it saved 20 minutes ago.

To finish my photography portfolio website and get it online. I've been putting this off for YEARS. Just started again (and from scratch) and I've been making some progress for the last couple of days. I don't want to even look at that old project I scrapped, or maybe I will once I finish (read: publish) this one.

My problem before was that I was always looking at the big picture and was trying to figure everything out in one go.

In contrast with that, I now figured out a relatively simple and straightforward way to start off with no back end at all and just use static resources instead (with some logic to parse them every time I "upload" new stuff), which should be fine even in the long run if I end up being too lazy and/or busy to do the back end. In general, I now try to tackle small tasks one by one (even if I don't always write them down and/or track them) and realise that it's better to be done (even not in the best way I imagine it) than to not be done at all. It's as if I learn how to do stuff properly for the first time. Oh, well...

Go to meetups and talk to people. Give presentations at meetups if you can. Get involved in community projects. Love coding. Use your downtime to study new stuff.

When talking to potential employers be positive and enthusiastic about your technology.

EDIT: Oh, a few more. Don't seem desperate for a job. Without saying anything, potential employers should feel like you have other offers and they're being evaluated by you. Ask questions about their company if you get an interview.

Try to give off an air of being in control and having a number of choices in your carreer (even if you're living off ramen every day).

The pressure should be on companies to hurry up and snap you up before another company does.

Be honest but a little spin won't hurt.

Off-by-one errors, my favourite.

Hardware irony - clicking "eject" for an external HDD that's asleep wakes it up just to immediately send it to sleep again.

Microsoft buys npm
Am I the only one seeing a tendency of a few big companies (Microsoft, Apple, Google, Yandex, Tencent and 10-15 more) slowly (or not so slowly) acquiring more and more small companies? I hope however that it stays as transparent to the end user; I also hope it even helps, because I hate getting used to a product/service and then the company dropping it because they have no resource and/or interest in supporting it (Google Inbox anyone?)

That moment you are forced to use Windows to develop PHP Stuff and arent allowed to install Linux because of "Company Regulations" (aka Windows only Admins) ...

I just want my beloved Linux Dev Stack here :(

FUCK YOU, Windows Firewall.

I was just back home from a 5-month work trip abroad in another field and I had just found a new recruitment platform; applied to a company that had an ad in it and they contacted me like less than a week later. Arranged an interview, flew out, had the interview and received an offer like three days later. Almost four years later I'm still at that company.

I didn't. It chose me.

- What's the programming language of choice of pirates?
- R, matey!

Wonder why code doesn't want to format to my specification... Oh, there's an .editorconfig

In no particular order:
1. Sense of accomplishment.
2. Keeping my brain busy.
3. Working with smart people.

Don't screw up on the job I just got.

People skills. Knowing when I should shut up when talking about me and my experience.

"Good luck with that."

Dis dude @ODXT. First actual friend I made at the job. Magician that showed me the BS and Magic workarounds in report development using SAP. Also GM, Taco Accomplice, and Ramen connoisseur. Really happy to call him a friend, mentor, and partner in (food) crime

AMD's new Ramen Ridge APUs seem fishy to me 👨‍🍳

When you have to work in a team that are all vegetarian and you want to hit the new Pho place for beef ramen at lunch!

Keep them short and to the point.

Some random blogs/sites piggybacking StackOverflow, copying content from there and posting it as their own... I don't know about you, I think this is a super shitty thing to do. Sure, it gets obvious at one point and you just stop clicking on search results like that, but it would've been nice if SEO could work against that so search engines discourage and/or penalise it.

Probably a photographer.

I would've been way under at this point in time if photography was my main gig. Before the pandemic hit, concerts were my favourite thing to shoot, but even then it was mostly for my own enjoyment rather than something I could rely on financially. If I had to do it for a living, I would've probably had to resort to weddings/graduations/portraiture, and it would've been terrible since I suck at directing people to pose (part of the reason why I enjoy shooting concerts - because I shoot what's happening without the need for my intervention). Selling prints would kind of make sense if I had the market, but where I am, people are rather cheap (so selling locally wouldn't really work), and I'm rather reluctant to delegate things to an online service.

Just realised that devRant doesn't give me the option to change my password - I had to go through the forgotten password routine to do it.

Not very since I don't have one.

I'm calling you out, Asus, fix your absolutely shitty piece of software or I'm never buying a motherboard from you again.

A little explanation: my PC woke up from sleep like this. On another occasion before I could take the screenshot, the CPU was sitting almost idle at 45 degrees C. The CPU fan senses that it has to spin up, but never actually does so.

I've had the opposite thing before - a case fan spinning up not wanting to spin down even if the temps are fine - which is preferable because it only causes a little bit of noise. But this here could potentially cause damage to the CPU if I put some load on it without looking at the temperature. I've partly remedied the issue by writing a batch script that kills and resets the fan control service and is triggered by Task Scheduler on resume from sleep - a thing every average Joe should do, right?

It's a shame for top-notch hardware to have to go together with such crappy piece of software. This is the X99 Sabertooth that cost me 450 EUR originally.

Finally accepted as telematics lab. assistant

Had to go to 30 years old initiation tradition by drinking 'The Drink' before getting lab. full access

Full Recipe: Mineral water, instant coffee, vanilla milk, cola, banana, pineapple, apple, melons, cup ramen, peanuts, snickers, m&m, potato chips, nata de coco.

Step:
1. Shove it all to blender
2. Blend
3. Bon Appetit

I don't.

In a Phaser game, I was unknowingly overriding a method of a parent class. It must've been Phaser.Group or Phaser.Sprite that my class was extending, I was calling destroy() on it without realising I was calling the parent class' method too and was baffled about why shit wasn't working. Found out maybe two days later and changed the method 'destroy()' in my class to 'pokeItWithAStick()'. This was at a previous job, but I'm mostly sure that it stays that way in the codebase three years later.

after having to deal with a lot of weird "rewrites" and "refactorings" by co-workers i started to add this comment into the head of my sourcefiles:

You may think you know what the following code does.
But you dont. Trust me.
Fiddle with it, and youll spend many sleepless nights cursing the moment you thought youd be clever enough to "optimize" the code below. Now close this file and go play with something else.

Found this somewhere on the interwebs and since i use it the "refactorings" and "optimizations" of my code stopped nearly completely

just got a "privilege update" now i'm responsible for not only my software but for the webservers too...thanks admin guys...now i have more bullshit to deal with

Something I've been thinking about for some time: many sites allow you to hit Ctrl+Enter to submit a form (while the focus is on some of the form's input fields) and I think it would be nice if DevRant does the same. Right now, to submit, I have to either use the mouse and click the button or hit Tab two times and then Space.

Not just because of the Coronavirus but rather because of the Type B flu, everyone is advised to work from home if possible until the end of March or a further notice. Doesn't affect me much since I'm full time remote, it only means I'll have to wait another month before I get to see my colleagues.

Im so happy i got a wife that conforts me when coding.
Maru-chan is the best waifu.

VSCode. I used to be a WebStorm guy, but at one point I found out that I could do like 85% of the stuff in VSCode, and switched over. Things I still kinda miss from the JetBrains ecosystem:
- the elaborate refactoring
- the built-in navigation across the file and the project
- the really clever expand select and go to open/closing bracket (VSCode is kinda getting there, but for expand select it honours camel case words and that can't be turned off, it's weird with HTML files with inlined JS or CSS; for bracket jumping it must rely on an extension)
- the way that everything within the UI is predictable and navigable with keyboard only (tried opening a dropdown in VSCode without having a specific keybinding for that specific dropdown? In WebStorm it was Alt+Up/Alt+Down for any dropdown that has focus IIRC)
- the visual way of changing a colour theme (in VSCode you have to guess what is what before modifying a value; by the way this is an idea for an extension that I might research)

What I like about VSCode:
- the speed (although it can get slow with large files; on the other hand JetBrains IDEs are not that slow except for the startup, given that you're not working on a potato, but here we are)
- its extensibility and very active extension development (and the fact that it's rather easy to write your own extensions, although I haven't benefited from that very much)
- the ease of syncing settings (the Settings Sync extension and now the built-in mechanism introduced I think earlier this month)
- it's free (so I don't have to pay for it myself or nag to my employer to issue me a license)

I've tried Sublime and it's hands down the fastest thing I've seen (it can open a 100 MB text file on the shittiest computer you can find and edit it efficiently), the problem is that it's not so rich in extensions. I've tried vim, nano and whatnot, but I'm far from that, just not my cup of tea. I'm okay for the occasional file edit while SSHd somewhere, but that's all.

In an ideal world we'd have something like Sublime's performance with VSCode's ecosystem and JetBrains', well, brains...