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Dev: So how do you want this feature fixed?
Manager: It should work how it worked before.
Dev: I'm new to this feature, I don't know how it worked before or what is broken about it.
Manager: Well just make it work like it worked before.
Dev: I DONT KNOW HOW IT WORKED BEFORE THAT IS WHY I AM ASKING YOU. PLEASE TELL ME SO I CAN DO MY JOB.
Manager: Just how it worked before!
Dev: ...
Manager: ...
Dev: fuck you18 -
PM in daily: your turn. what have you done yesterday?
me: so i finished my PR for feature x and now i'm only waiting for review feedback there, so i can close this ticket today if no major rework is required-
PM: this is not what i asked, i don't want to know what you did, i want to know what was done.
me: uhh... okay, also i started working on task x
[note: task x, a task per definition involving a large amount of research, was very coarsly defined and it wasn't even clear to the PM what he exactly expects from me, and we agreed that the scope needs to be refined in the process],
so as a first step, i started doing some general investigations to get an overview of the topic and learn about concepts a and b-
PM: again, i don't want to know what you did, i want to know what was done.
me: okay well, i have DONE basic research on topic xy and collected information-
PM: this still does not answer my question, what's the deliverable?
me: ...so uhhh.... i read papers? i researched info online and collected and prepared information and links in a presentation which i'm also planning to present to the team-
PM: okay, can you please split your jira task in subtasks so everyone knows exactly what you're working on? otherwise we have no idea what you're doing.
for fuck's sake, shut up. just shut up21 -
Manager: Messages not visible! bug ticket!!!!
Dev: oh fuck, there's an issue with our chat system, not good! _inspects ticket_ oh, it's just a display issue that actually is according to the previous spec, yawn...
Dev: please describe the bug better next time, I though we had a major outage, this is simply a small design issue...
Manager: ...
Dev: ...
I think I'm quitting soon guys. I literally do not get paid enough to deal with these incompetent idiots each day.
Meanwhile:
Management: forget your shitty salary, take one for the team, you get 3% of the shares in the company!!!!
Dev: what fucking shares, you haven't even converted to a corporation yet, THERE ARE NO SHARES
Management: ...
Dev: ...
Oh yeah and they called me at 6:30 PM today: "so i guess you are winding down for the day"
fuck outta here i haven't been working since 5 you fucks
jesus i swear some people need to screw their fucking head on straight, so far gone into the hUsTlE CuLtUrE they don't even know what reality is anymore7 -
!dev
My neighbors are absolute assholes.
I can't get enough sleep. This is driving me nuts. Worst of all, they're all students. I've called the cops on them once, but still the same behavior.
Am about to lose it, ngl.30 -
Recruiter: "How do you see the future of the field?"
Me: "... How do I see the future of neurorobotics?"
Hom: "Yes"
Me: 😐 *baffled*8 -
me: I will major in CS so I can work with computers, not people
narrator: But little did he know...4 -
Getting zero encouragement or positive feedback from my boss is really killing me from the inside. There isn't even a negative feedback. There's absolutely nothing.
PhD is such a lonely path as it is, and being ignored by your advisor is just...soul-crushing.
I did a collaboration with my friend from another lab, and even though her lab is bigger and crazier than ours, her professor found the time to compliment our work and even told us he will present it in a presentation he gives in Meta. Really, it's not that hard to say a kind word here and there.4 -
Screw the Chief Technology Clown role...
I'm now officially Chief Babysitting Clown...
Skills I can teach you include the following:
- How to read JIRA tickets
- How to write JIRA tickets
- How to check colleagues' calendars
- How to define requirements in English and not some sort of technologically challenged caveman language
- How NOT to do any programming (since I don't have time for that anymore)
And many, many more! Inquire within!6 -
To anyone asking for tips and tricks to start programming or become good at it, here is your ultimate golden advice: learn how to google and stop asking stupid questions like this before doing a quick research.
Reasons why:
1. You will most likely to learn better if you do your own research before asking for help. Even if you can't solve problem, you will be better and better at googling over time.
2. It is instant source of information. No need to wait for response (except response from server of course).
3. It takes only YOUR time.
4. Much more possible solutions/answers to your problems/questions.
5. Your quality of life will be improved over time. Not only your dev life but your daily life too.11 -
I think what would help is to teach them these things:
- awareness for security in code
- how to use a fucking VCS like Git and how it works -
HOW
FUCKING
HARD
IS
IT
TO
DOCUMENT
HOW
YOUR
LIBRARY
WORKS
ONE
EXAMPLE
FOR
A
FUCKING
POSTGRES
CLIENT
LIBRARY
IS
NOT
SUFFICIENT7 -
Hi, here's how things are working now:
– Me and MerryBandOfDumbasses1 are doing project 1.
– Me and MerryBandOfDumbasses2 are doing project 2.
– Me has project 3 for work with this adorable boss I'd hate to disappoint. (Anyone watching Brooklyn99? He's my Captain Holt)
– Me has to deal with thesis.
– Me is having trouble keeping her head above the water. (emotionally speaking)
Conclusion: Me is fucked.
The end.
*grins for the camera* 😀6 -
Just finished a technical interview for a company that asked me to submit a small app.
I guess when they had written the requirements they had anticipated it to be written as a Webform not as a full MVC application 😂. They had expected me to complete and build this single page app in 2-3 hours not in 14... 🫥 Oops
So here we are reviewing it and asking questions about my setup and what I was trying to do. They were impressed enough with it that one guy even admitted that I might be a better programmer than him. 😳 A very kind compliment, but concerning because he's supposed to be my manager...
All in all got through everything and they want me over to meet the team and see what this shop is all about.
I'm excited, they company is seeing immense growth and I might be able to bring in my expertise to expedite some of it.
Did I mention they use SVN for version control? 😳
They want to get into Git soon but they don't know how to. I guess I'll be leading that cause.3 -
!rant Yesterday, I picked up a plate with a single fork on it and managed to drop the fork in such a way that it landed on my foot and drew blood.
How y’all doing?8 -
You ever realize how small a newborn is? It's amazing how tiny humans can be. They're not even a full breakfast.16
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How can you fuck up your code so badly that what should be a reasonably simple desktop app is lagging on any system, no matter how fast?8
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I don’t care how many tests you’ve passed, how many certificates you have on your wall, or how many letters you put after your name. I can tell if you’re an idiot one way or another.4
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today, we're going to learn how to make web dev complicated and how to annoy users with a simple technique. learn by example
2 -
People of devRant, how did you meet your spouse/partner, and what is their occupation?
I am just wondering how you get to actually meet people and create relationships while having an insanely intense tech career.35 -
I'll just use my Android tablet to set up Alexa, how hard can it be..
"Your device is not supported"...
So..
Add on todo list, upgrade OS on tablet..
How hard can that be . . .5 -
"Please move the logo left. The text goes a bit under."
Do you guys think people realize how unclear they are, and are just too fucking lazy to write the full spec? Or are they just so fucking stupid they don't realize I literally have no fucking clue what to do exactly with comments like these?
I guess Hanlon's razor applies here, but some days I just don't know...
Happy Friday! ☠️3 -
Okay so I don't really know what I did but somehow my Rust executable that implements a parser for an assembly language all the sudden needs more than a minute to compile and is over 700 MiB in size 🤠4
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hey, devs! A Question
As a student developer how to find the best opportunities and internships????8 -
Question: How do I feel about life?
Answer: I feel pointless, no matter much I achieve, no matter how hard I love, no matter how much I learn, no matter how much I succeed, no matter how much I fail. Doesn't matter if I'm gay, straight, rich, poor, or use vim.
In the end, we will all die.
Give me a purpose to live.7 -
How do you deal with relatively complex Boolean logic requirements?
Here's a simple example, of which I missed 50% of the cases because it was non-intuitive to me:
A year is a leap year if:
- it is divisible by 4
- except it is also divisible by 100
- unless it is also divisible by 400
To my intuition, the logic tree is as follows:
if (year % 4 == 0) -> true
if (year % 100 == 0) -> false
if (year % 400 == 0) -> true
so I ended up with 3 cases and I initially missed all the others until I started coding.
The full solution is:
if(year % 4 === 0) {
if(year % 100 === 0) {
if(year % 400 === 0) {
true
} else {
false
}
false
} else {
true
}
true
} else {
false
}
}
I don't like it when I don't immediately see all logic paths.19 -
Question - How are computers and air conditioners similar?
They are both useless when you open windows. -
How fucking hard can it be to show a simple image. Guess which app has this feature.
Images are cropped to frame, but you can tap to fit the whole image to frame instead. No way to see the image on full screen. Pinch to zoom works, but it will immediately unzoom if you let go even one finger.1 -
So... Quick question, how do I enable Devrant plus again?
Had to stop behind a supporter 2 years ago cause of unemployment, now I want back in :p3 -
usually when I don't get enough sleep, I feel sleepy, all day.
for some reason today was different.
slept for less than 4 hours
no coffee, etc
feeling alert AF.5 -
Your freelance client wants you to build a Microsoft Teams clone, how much are you charging and how long would it take you?11
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Tonight I learned that none of our automatically installed systemd-based servers had the /etc/machine-id created, and that that file used to be pretty central in the systemd world.
So that was the warning at the beginning of the boot log about a missing /etc/machine-id! Though until today, everything still worked fine. Only today, the machinectl utility was unable to find the local machine with the machine id missing.
Oops? At least I'll have stuff to fix tomorrow lol.6 -
How do you guys hire people? I need to hire people for a big laravel project and I am not sure how to evaluate someone in just 30 min.
So please tell me about your hiring method.7 -
I need suggestions
I’m thinking about making a blog called but how do I, this will include tutorials that covers things not taught in school, but you wished you knew how to do.
So right now I have ideas like:
How to write zsh plugins
How to scrape the web(scrape html or sending request)
How to write chrome plugins
How to center a div in different ways
How to write backend codes in js
How to setup an interactive website on a server with domain
But I need more, I need suggestions.8 -
I have been invited to github codespaces.. How good is it? Is there any resource one how you can create and debug muli container applications?
-
nobody has any clue how to rollback or how the options we have work under the hood
how good is our devops out of 10?3 -
How many of you ever developed (Or partially) "Stockholm syndrome" with your boss / project manager?
-
I love how shitty looking VPN software is used in my company. How can I trust in you providing me security if you can't fucking provide correctly rendered icons?1
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Let's exclude some files from our coverlet coverage test!
Sure! That's easy, just remember to pass this super short, understandable, and rememberable command-line argument:
-- DataCollectionRunSettings.DataCollectors.DataCollector.Configuration.ExcludeByFile="**/myFile.cs/**"
You're fucking kidding me, right?
It's 2022 and tools are still using PowerShell syntax... just kill me1
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