Details
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AboutComputer- science student ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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SkillsC, C++, Java, html, CSS, sql
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LocationHanover
Joined devRant on 10/20/2016
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The fear that I'm too thorough, and out of that, the fear that I'm too slow and "others might find out at some point".
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Don't send me a confirmation email that I successfully unsubscribed from your list you shit nugget.15
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A wild Darwin Award nominee appears.
Background: Admins report that a legacy nightly update process isn't working. Ticket actually states problem is obviously in "the codes."
Scene: Meeting with about 20 people to triage the issue (blamestorming)
"Senior" Admin: "update process not working, the file is not present"
Moi: "which file?"
SAdmin: "file that is in ticket, EPN-1003"
Moi: "..." *grumbles, plans murder, opens ticket*
...
Moi: "The config dotfile is missing?"
SAdmin: "Yes, file no there. Can you fix?"
Moi: "Engineers don't have access to the production system. Please share your screen"
SAdmin: "ok"
*time passes, screen appears*
Moi: "ls the configuration dir"
SAdmin: *fails in bash* > ls
*computer prints*
> ls
_.legacyjobrc
Moi: *sees issues, blood pressure rises* "Please run list all long"
SAdmin: *fails in bash, again* > ls ?
Moi: *shakes* "ls -la"
SAdmin: *shonorable mention* > ls -la
*computer prints*
> ls -la
total 1300
drwxrwxrwx- 18 SAdmin {Today} -- _.legacyjobrc
Moi: "Why did you rename the config file?"
SAdmin: "Nothing changed"
Moi: "... are you sure?"
SAdmin: "No, changed nothing."
Moi: "Is the job running as your account for some reason?"
SAdmin: "No, job is root"
Moi: *shares screenshot of previous ls* This suggests your account was likely used to rename the dotfile, did you share your account with anyone?
SAdmin: "No, I rename file because could not see"
Moi: *heavy seething* so, just to make sure I understand, you renamed a dotfile because you couldn't see it in the terminal with ls?
SAdmin: "No, I rename file because it was not visible, now is visible"
Moi: "and then you filed a ticket because the application stopped working after you renamed the configuration file? You didn't think there might be a correlation between those two things?"
SAdmin: "yes, it no work"
Interjecting Director: "How did no one catch this? Why were there no checks, and why is there no user interface to configure this application? When I was writing applications I cared about quality"
Moi: *heavy seething*
IDjit: "Well? Anyone? How are we going to fix this"
Moi: "The administrative team will need to rename the file back to its original name"
IDjit: "can't the engineering team do this?!"
Moi: "We could, but it's corporate policy that we have no access to those environments"
IDjit: "Ok, what caused this issue in the first place? How did it get this way?!"
TFW you think you've hit the bottom of idiocy barrel, and the director says, "hold my mango lassi."27 -
iOS Programming:
something.openCamera()
DONE!
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Android Programming:
val jobProcessorHandler = FuckingBuilder.something().inject().whatTheFuck()
val cameraDecoderFuck = Camera(CodePackFuck.shit, jobProcessorHandler)
CRASH!22 -
Never google "man" command!
I was looking for "man touch" and the result was "3 Ways to Touch a Guy - wikiHow" :|22 -
Manager: I'm so sorry to say but your collegue A has passed away yesterday afternoon. There will obviously be flowers etc and we'll try to support her family as much as we can..
Me: Oh, no. My deepest condolences. (I'm always bad at saying much in situations like this, but)
B: My gosh! So does this mean A's family also caught it??!? (Corona)
Manager: She died in a car accident.
...
Also how unfortunate. Due to the lockdown, a ton of the people use the roads as a racing track around here...7 -
Manager: "Good Morning"
Employee: "Okay"
Manager: "You are fired. I deserve a proper reply"
Employee: "I have put my entire focus on solving the problem the team members have been skipping for months. Anyways I will go"
Manager: "My bad, I will fire the other employee"7 -
Ok, rubber ducks are ducking helpful, but I moved to use actual ducks.
If you are currently stuck somewhere where your rubber-mate cannot help out, feel free to ask. I’ll forward.14 -
Co-worker presented her work by sharing her screen. She forgot to unshare.
She proceeded to open Chrome and search: "Can I sue co-worker if I get coronavirus because he coughed?"
Another employee said: "Your screen is showing" :/13 -
I just remembered the first time I set up a Linux-Server. It was a simple Apache webserver at my first internship anf I didnt have a clue about literally anything.
My mentor guided me through and gave me literal step-by-step instructions (alright, now type... and now type...).
At the end he told me "OK, now run 'sudo rm -rf /*' to finish setting up". Me, being the naive and clueless motherfucker I am, happily nuked the everloving shit out of my newly setup server. I was like "Alright, WTF just happened??" He then told me "Now that you know how it works, do the entire thing again all by yourself. And you just learned an important lesson: NEVER exexute commands you dont know what theyre doing". I really did learn a lot on that day and still follow that lesson :D8 -
*Website exists*
Client: “I should be rich by now. Please fix.”
Me: “... Did you do any ... marketing?”
Client: “I don’t have money for marketing. That’s what the website is for.”7 -
Me: You're looking rested - the vacation does you good, it seems.
Co-worker: I didn't have vacation?!
Me: but our PM does.
Co-worker: ...2 -
People that use their phone on speaker (and have it set loudly) in public are a special breed of jackass6