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Search - "(⓪益⓪)"
I almost ran my car over these little floofs yesterday. Some asshole probably abandoned them in front of my gate last night. It was pretty cold so they might have crawled underneath.
Looks like they were abused too. One of them has it's whiskers burned and the other one has a bent paw and can barely walk. Whoever did this, I sincerely wish if I could push you into a fucking volcano ლ(ಠ益ಠლ)115
Fuck Time zones !!!!! ლ(ಠ益ಠლ)
Fuck daylight savings !!!!!
Fuck! Fuckity! Fuck Fuck Fuck !!!!!!37
Me: Hi Guys, theres no docs on our custom push notification / deeplinking implementation. I've tried to work backwards from a QA testing doc to add new links. Can someone tell me if this is all ok? It seems to behave a little weird.
Dev: Looks ok, but we've moved to the braze platform for sending notifications. You'll need to trigger braze notifications now. Test that it works ok with that <confluence-link>
Me: I've tried the debugging tool, both with my payload and one of the samples from the link. It displays on the phone, but tapping it doesn't trigger the deeplinking.
Dev: No it works, try one of these <screenshot of samples I used>
Me: Tried it again on the real device to make sure, as well as on develop and master. Not working with those samples or mine.
Dev: No it does. It comes in here in this library <github link to line of code>
Me: ... Nope, debugged it, it doesn't get passed the next 'if' check on the next line as its missing a key/value. The whole function does nothing.
Dev: Oh do you want to send a braze notification?
Me: ..... you told me I had too .... yes I guess.
Dev: ok for a braze notification it works different, send this <entirely different sample no where on the link>
Me: ...... but ..... this is only for braze notifications ..... why .... all the samples have deeplink url's .... but they don't ....... are you ..... FFS!!!!! !@#?!
┻━┻ ︵ヽ(`Д´)ﾉ︵ ┻━┻
> in da zone, headphones beating, caffeine rushing through my veins, snack-stack at 75%, code and commands flowing like campaign promises, I'm one with the keyboard... I can feel it ~(◉_◉)~
roomie: Hey J! J!
me: ಠ_ಠ I'm kinda busy, what do you want?
roomie: Dude don't forget to pick up bla bla bla
> Headphones back on, feeling the h4ckx0r fire resurge through my gut like a majestic phoenix (not to be confused with taco tuesday gut fire)
roomie: J...J! dude also make sure bla bla bla
me: ಠ╭╮ಠ I know, you don't need to be so specific with me.
> Headphones on...about to hit play again...
roomie: Dude do you happen to know bla bla bla
FUCK! just tell me everything at once so I can go back to ignoring you and the irrelevant world around me!
I hate when people do this.9
That moment when your password is constantly rejected and you realize that the fucking NUM LOCK IS OFF.
Connect to a client over remote desktop. Client says feature X doesn't work. I check and it works fine. Client insists that it doesn't, so I check again and it does. Happens a third time and I almost lose it.
But then I realize, I had mixed up the screens. I was looking at my own debugger where I'd already fixed the bug (>ლ)6
Update YouTube app ᕕ( ◕‿◕)ᕗ
Can't slide and close minimzed videos anymore!!!
Wireless fucking doorbell!! ლ(ಠ益ಠლ)
This motherfucker almost gave me a heart attack. It kept ringing in middle of the night, went down to check, no one was there. Happened again, went down and sat next to the switch this time, and guess what?
It rang again!! (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻
Booooo! Faulty switch! (◣_◢)10
We all need to grow the fuck up...
You don't choose the 'best one' of anything anymore, instead you choose to tolerate the 'least worst' of all and just learn to fucking stick with it. That applies to everything from frameworks to girlfriends or boyfriends.
That best moment in life where you are living your dreams will never come by. Nothing 's ever gonna be 'perfect' and 'gourmet'. There's no "happily ever after" but instead "happily ever after **conditions apply".
Learn to appreciate what you have, lower your expectations, accept that life is unfair and always assume the worst, that'll help you cope with the nasty surprises in life later. And most importantly, learn to love yourself, the person you'll spend the most time with is you. Please care for yourself, be more interesting by teaching yourself skills that don't always require a computer.
Money is important but not all important. If you care for yourself today, you can cash in on the good health and saved time later on. Having good health is the the most underappreciated thing that I see today.
Trust me, those fucking deadlines are messing with your head and they would all seem pretty stupid later on.
You are all awesome! and you are all doing great!
Ok so back to peeling these fucking garlic cloves!!
Boss sends e-mail telling everyone we have funding for 1+ year.
Two weeks later 50% of employees laid off.
Probably the most rage inducing data loss story...
When it comes to my cellphone I'm a data hoarder, I store each relevant meme, conversation, video, contact, nudes, etc. Had to replace my phone? Easy, change the SD.
I did this for about 4 years, had over 11GB of almost everything and anything in a 36GB SD, one afternoon my buddies and I went to a small tech convention and on our way to my car we got mugged by 5 armed men.
They took my brand new phone along with my wallet and all my cash, luckily I had GPS tracking enabled and we were able to pinpoint the exact location of my phone within 30min.
So far so good...
We called the cops and went with them, we found the car with illegal plates and weapons inside (knives, a bat, gun) so I tell the robbers were in there inside a closed cyber cafe and showed him the point on the map confirming this.
Cop: oh we can't do that we don't have an order...
Me: are you kidding me, here's the GPS, there's the car, there's the weapons, doesnt that count as at least probable cause or some shit?
Cop: we don't have that in this country, you can file a report and after 3 business days we can come here to inquire.
Me: (fucking lost it) do you fucking think they'll be here in 3 days?! I'll give you 500 bucks if you go bust their ass now.
Cop: (thinks about it) but what if they are armed? [4 patrols, 8 cops, 4 rifles and at least 6 guns plus vests] Maybe if you had contacts within the bureau we could have an order now...
I lost a lot that day, including respect to this fucked up system.
t(ಠ益ಠt) FUCK THE POLICE go eat a dick.10
ATMs without a 'back' button? ლ(ಠ益ಠლ)
Seriously, what's the fucking deal with these?? Who designs such a stupid interface? It forces me to cancel and re-insert every time I make a wrong entry.4
(ﾉಥ益ಥ）ﾉ my fucking SD card was fucking stuck to my leg!....my leg!!! I was walking around going nuts looking for this motherfucker all day! God! why does everything have to be so tiny nowadays???!!!6
ლ(ಠ益ಠლ) I thought chrome tabs could be muted by clicking the speaker on them, just as in Firefox.
Such a faptastrophe!!! (≖︿≖ )9
Beginning of the project:
git commit -m "Added index.html, implemented user-creation"
Towards the end of the project:
git commit -m "Idunno, did some stuff or so (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻"2
A client who has only ever used windows all his life, asks me for advice on buying a new laptop. I try my best to explain the technicalities and nuances of MacBooks and PCs and he decides to go for the macbook pro.
He calls me up yesterday and says that he now regrets taking my advice as the MacBook doesn't have any windows installed in it. He now wants me to install Windows on his MacBook.
ლ(ಠ益ಠლ) what a dense motherfucker!! Everything I try to tell him goes like a tangent over his head.
These pretzels are making me thirsty!!!!!
I present: Every developer when something inconveniences them during a really bad time.
FLIP THIS TABLE (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻
FLIP THAT TABLE ┻━┻ ︵ ლ(ಠ益ಠლ)
FLIP ALL THE TABLES ┻━┻彡 ヽ(ಠДಠ)ノ彡┻━┻7
Today I gave my Network assessment (code) on an A4 sheet as told by the professor. He will later type the code and check if runs or not and award marks !!
ಠ▃ಠ 凸ಠ益ಠ)凸 Where is my stress ball?4
How to fucking unscrew this little shit.
I was able to unscrew the rest just fine. But just when I'm down to the last remaining screw, this lone fucker decides to put on a fecken feight.
I already tried everything. I used a screwdriver that fits perfectly. Rotated it for god knows how long. Attached a strong magnet to amplify the screwdriver's magnetic fuckery. Tried unscrewing upside down to add gravitational force. Tried chopsticking the fuck outta it. Slapped the back of it like I slap rice sacks in supermarkets. Ran physics simulations on a supercomputer. Still won't come off.
It's just there, looking like it's about to come off with a dip of a magnetic screwdriver but IDK WHY IT WON'T COME OFFKZKKXJZJKZ!!1
You wanna put on a fight? Fine. Resist while you still can. Because once you come off, oh ho... I'm gonna do bad things to you fucker. Imma screw you in your hole till your head spins like crazy. (To screw it back ofc.)10
My hard line internet service was down and the only other way for me to gain connectivity was to use my old phone's wifi hotspot (which always remains linked to all the repeaters in my house). In a drunken stupor, I had left it in airplane mode and forgot all about it.
Now I'm calling the cell service provider and screaming my lungs out at them ლ(ಠ益ಠლ) as I had this major update on the way completely stalled. Neighbor's not home, it's the middle of the night and I'm going insane.
So now I drive to the nearest railway station, buy a ticket and it takes me 3 hours using their free WiFi to get the job done. It was only the next morning that I realized what had happened (>ლ)
Me : trying to enable WiFi hotspot on an iPhone.
iPhone: "To enable personal hotspot on this account contact carrier..."
Me : Motherf........!!!!!! ლ(ಠ益ಠლ)
(Had to watch a YouTube video hack to get it to work..)
iPhone : "WiFi hotspot enabled but is only enabled over Bluetooth and USB..."
Me : Urghhhh$#&@℅!!!!!!!! WTF apple????????
Fuck you apple!!!!!
Me : trying to enable WiFi hotspot on an Android.
Android : "there you go.....(☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞"
Me : (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ4
Laptop hard disk gives up on me without warning.......@&#***!! ლ(ಠ益ಠლ)
Remember building a Windows system image months ago. ᕕ(ᐛ)ᕗ
Boot to the recovery screen. ᕕ( ◕‿◕)ᕗ
Don't recall the password I had when I built the image. I can't restore the image until I feed the password.
༼ つ ಥ_ಥ ༽つ4
Email is horrible.
CSS in email is fucked.
People never check their spam filter / who the fuck knows when the spam filter might decide legit shit is spam.
Every other god damn day some new shit comes up.
Today some sort of either antivirus or email filter or spam / malware detecting shit seems to be crawling every fucking link in an email our customer's send to their customer's.
Activating every option such as declining shit or accepting it... well actually ALL THOSE OPTIONS.
End user can't tell of course so I (and others) have to find this out.
Great, I'm in the zone.
Typing like there's no tommorow.
The logic is flawless, design patterns and exception throwing everywhere
It's going to be gre.... DUN.
OH GOD A BSOD.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME.
Breath slowly... Just restart the machine...
PLEASE WAIT WHILE WINDOWS INSTALLS THE UPDATES
It's like nails on a chalkboard:
Meeting #3 about "Thing doesn't update."
Where nobody has shown it not to update yet.
I kinda hate how I'm forced to learn java swing when the same professor taught javafx last year... (ﾉಥ益ಥ）ﾉ ┻━┻4
The marketing department must be run by wild butthurt fucking monkeys... Bloody idiots do you even know the word " controll"?! It's a simple fucking thing instead of wasting fucking 2,5hrs of my time which could been put on.. oh I donno more productive work?!?
Fuck sake.. 2 numbers... 2 numbers on almost every fucking article was wrong and you couldn't even check these in the fucking program BEFORE asking me to fix the images for these and upload? No I had to upload everything only to later noticed that you cunts gave the wrong numbers .... Butthurt wienerschnitzel 🖕3
@bleh I get it, it's like I've exhausted all my options to get out of weekend boredom. So I try my hand at cooking stuff ᕕ( ◕‿◕)ᕗ
Like last night I prepped for the weekend. I bought some meat, threw some large rocks into fire and dug a hole in my backyard. I know it sounds all disconnected but trust me, it's cooking.
When the rocks got fiery hot, I put em in the hole along with seasoned meat, some potatoes, tomatoes, onions and garlic all wrapped in banana leaves.
Went out for a movie, got a pack of beers and forgot about the whole thing. Today morning, I found some dogs stray dogs having a feast in my backyard like a bunch of uptight English twats
The mudaphuking mosquitoes are literally saying "I don't give a fuck about death" to me.
I can kill them anyhow and they just keep coming every hour every day at my house. It's like my hands are having period.
ヽ༼ ಠ益ಠ ༽ﾉ5
That moment when you have to exchange data with another system using XML-Files serval hundred MBs in size instead of a proper REST API (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻8
My client might just make our designer ragequit. 30 days ago he said: ohh this login page looks empty, I want images in the background. 15 days ago he said: I like the images, but change this part and this part. Today he said: I don't like any of the imagea, get rid of them. ლ(ಠ益ಠლ)3
Me today: Damn it's gonna take forever to find where this issue is, but at least then I'll know.
-me narrows it down to 5 lines-
Tonight me staring at lines: Oh fuck... there's nothing actually 'wrong' here...
Forget it, i'm going to bed.1