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Excuse me boss!
During increment time
Boss : There are 50 bricks on an Plane. If u drop 1 outside. How many
are left?
Employee : That's easy, 49.
Boss : What are the three steps to put an elephant into a fridge?
Employee : Open the fridge. Put the elephant in. Close the fridge
Boss : What are the four steps to put a deer into the fridge?
Employee : Open the fridge. Take the elephant out. Put the deer in. Close the fridge.
Boss : It's lion's birthday, all animals are there except one, why?
Employee : Because the deer is in the fridge.
Boss : How does an old woman cross a swamp filled with crocodiles?
Employee : She crosses it because the crocodiles are at the lion's birthday
Boss : Last question. In the end the old lady still died. Why?
Employee : Er....I guess she drowned....err...
Boss : No! She was hit by the brick fallen from the Plane that's the problem, you are not focused on your job....You may leave now!!!
Moral: If your boss has decided to screw u, no matter How much u prepare u will be screwed.19 -
My family asked me what do I need in these holidays. "Dozen of Raspberry Pi", I replied.
They brought me 12 blueberry.6 -
Client: Hi. my SEO guy messed up the website. Its kind of .... you know .... gone. You must have the backup. Please restore
Me (after 10 mins): Done
.............
Client: Hi again. I don't see my changes from yesterday. Why?
Me: Because I had 2 months old backup.
Client: Why?
Me: Because that's the last time I worked on your website. And you changed the credentials later on.
Client: But you're a programmer. You must have had a back door to take back ups.
........
Client: Hello?
Me: It's time to leave earth.8 -
What non-dev team members don't understand is that when we tell them to wait while we're coding, we actually don't ignore them but try to finish the code before we forget what were we typing.1
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" The junior dev just told me about an app called devRant. What have you been ranting about me on it?"
Beware of PMs.
1 -
When people think that a 3 weeks online programming course get them equal to your 10 years experience 😑7
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That awkward moment when you open a terminal and the non dev person next to you thinks you're hacking him.
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My wife is neither a programmer nor she understands code but I love her more when she puts snacks in my mouth herself because my hands are too busy on the keyboard.5
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The other day, one of my cousin purchased a POS software for his bakery. He wanted me to look at it. Being curious, I did and found out that software was a decade old using MS Access as DB. He wanted couple of changes in the system and I did those in few mins.
Once I was done, he kept starring me like he never believed I could do that.
Moral: Your relatives never consider you a good programmer :-/7 -
-- How I succeeded turning a PHP/MYSQL app into Android app within a week --
Alright. So I wanted to grab your attention to what I'm about to write. If you are here just to read about the technologies I used, jump to bottom.
This is also a kind of rant; rant against the other fellow devs who demotivated me originally when I asked a question.
I'll not go in the details of my original question. Here's the link for those who are interested:
https://www.devrant.io/rants/366496
It's been days since I achieved what I wanted to but I thought someone might learn from my experience. So here it goes.
Why FREE?
Well, it was an important client. I worked on his website and he asked for an app for the same website and told me he won't be able to pay me anything for the app. I was, somewhat, under the impression that he might be testing me. If not, then I would end up learning something new. It wasn't a bad deal for me so I didn't hesitate to took it.
Within a week, I was able to pull the job and finish it. I felt so much better (and proud of myself) when I finished the app within the week and client approved it. What did I get? I got a GOOD BANK CLIENT in my pocket now. Got a lot more worth of projects from the same client. If I were being paid for the app, I might not have pulled the job so much better.
So the moral of this story is never to give up. NOT EVERY DEVELOPER SELLS SHORT ONLY FOR "MONEY". Some enjoy learning new things. And some like me love to accept new challenges and are not afraid to try something new everyday.
In case, someone is interested in knowing the technologies I used, here they go;
PhoneGap
Framework7
Template7
Apache Cordova
I wrote an API for the interaction between the web services and the app.
Also, Ionic Framework seems promising but it had a learning curve and time was of the essence. But I'm gonna learn it anyhow.14 -
The whole family is going out of country tomorrow. You know what that means?
It means 24 hours coding and no one to disturb 😎1 -
The way most of us devs are spending time on devRant, it seems @dfox might need to introduce a feature named "Reminder" in the app to let devs know that they need to get back to code.1
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Sometimes, I wish to punch Bill Gates in the face for founding Microsoft which created Windows 10.
Fucking updates16 -
Oh My God!
I just spent 2 hours trying to fix an issue. Just came to know that I was using the wrong index number from the array.
* KILL ME * -
One of my former client has refused to pay the remaining balance. I dedicate this to that ass(donkey)hole.
3 -
I appreciate all of your suggestions to improve devRant but I've a counter suggestion to make. Please do not post silly ideas. We should not try to make this community another Facebook or Twitter. Let's keep it simple and plain. We're better than non-dev users in many ways.5
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That awkward moment when you email a quote to your new client and he responds with "Why so expensive? Wix is so cheap"
* Kill me*5 -
Create a folder on your desktop or use any 3rd party cloud service; when you've an idea and sooner or later realize that it's stupid. Don't just discard it, instead, put it in the ideas recycle folder. After a while, browse your ideas recycle folder. When going through all of them, I'm sure you'll come up with a new and better version of all those ideas.1
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Usually, when I'm in the mood to code, my GF will tease me by sending a lot of text messages at once.
When I'm not in the mood, she had slept earlier :-|3 -
The moment when you're really into coding and then, a family member enters your workspace and starts talking to you.4
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So I've finally decided to move from Windows to Linux. However, there are so many distros of linux available now which made me confused in choosing the right one.
What would be the best linux distro for a backend web developer? I don't mind if there would be a learning curve. Thanks28 -
The moment when a client asks to make a website responsive which was developed in earlier 2000. You open the code and its using HTML table structures.4
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Few months back, one of my good but non-dev friend came to visit me.
He: I've done a website in HTML. Can you help me make it responsive.
Without a second thought, I agreed.
*Opened the file in editor*
<tables> <tables> <tables> <tables>
I kicked him out of my house without a second thought.3 -
The only reason why I hate Apple products is their proprietary accessories. I've been using a 3rd party iPhone cable for over an year without an issue. Today, this fucking ego-phone decided not to support this data cable anymore.2
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That awkward moment when your family and friends sit behind you and ask questions;
What is this you're typing on the screen?
Why words have different colors?
Why so many tabs?
How do you type so fast?
....... and more
Share yours.10 -
Spent 4 hours trying to fix a problem which fixed in just 4 lines of code.
My wife feels sorry for me.5 -
When you work from home and your same age cousins do nothing to earn, their parents: "It doesn't matter. He (me) works from home, meaning he does nothing too".
Seriously?2 -
#Apple had just one non-proprietary port in their phones and they've removed it in #iPhone7.
Wonder how come they agreed to have USB-C in their latest notebooks.
Welcome to the expensive world of Apple.4 -
Do you all get the mood when you don't wish to code anything because you like to Google new technologies and platforms all day?
I'm having such a mood today.2 -
Was creating an interactive map through Google Maps API. The map wasn't displaying at all on the website. Spent 2 hours trying to fix. Just realized I've not given height to the map div :-/1
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The client (who is also a relative) decided to change the website after the testing phase. Gonna change 50% of the website tonight without getting any extra dime. FML
Don't work for relatives especially for whom your family asks for.3 -
I thought I would have all day to code after my family went on vacations for 2 months. Tbh, I miss them :( Coding and my cat are the only companions at home.2
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Yayyyyy! I got the stickers 😆
Thank you @dfox and @trogus for building this great dev community. We owe you 1000 lines of code :p
1 -
There is this client who responds to my project emails instantly but goes radio silent when a payment email is sent.
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My cousin needed quick website and I could never turn him down for the kind of relationship I have with him. When I completed the web, he was like "how were you able to finish it over the weekend?". And I said, "it's all magic"3
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"Did you get it?"
"Yes. I GIT it"
* Silence *
"Oh. What were you saying?"
Things that happen when I'm coding. -
Coding is one of the only types of work where you can spend an entire day focused and working hard and actually come away in a worse state than you were before you started.1
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What good is developing an admin dashboard when client always sends you content to upload on the website 😐1
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I'm sitting in front of my 27 inch LED, with devRant opened in browser and waiting for devs to rant. C'mon guys, don't you have years of ranting inside you?
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An old client came back to me stating that I didn't fix the last change he requested a month ago. I went in old emails, found out what he needed, tried the website, it was doing exactly what he wanted.
I wrote to him with confusion asking what was he wanted me to fix.
"It's not working"
"It is"
"No, it's not. Can't you see?"
I attached old email conversations and sent him to see for himself.
"I am not talking about that." I want it to work like this, like that, blah blah blah.
-------------
Fucking asshole. Tell me you wanted new feature in the website. -
I am getting paid just to develop a FYP project for two students.
After 3 weeks;
"When are you gonna do the charts, use cases etc?"
"WTF?"2 -
When your non-dev gf gets angry on you for not responding to her texts through out the night but you decide to stay quiet because she would never understand that you were trying to fix the code.
4 -
That awkward moment when you tell your friends a programming joke and realize instantly that none of them is a programmer.
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Left the desk to look something to eat in the fridge. Returned 5 mins later to find my laptop restarted all by itself.
Microsoft, you evil bitch.2 -
Apparently the other dev has gone on vacations and I've been assigned most of his pending tasks.
I don't remember they did the same to him when I went on vacations last month.1 -
That awkward moment when you tell your family that you're participating in a hackintosh.
Their response: Why would you do any such thing? Hacking other people is not a good thing son.
Me: It's time to leave earth2 -
I've been up for more than 24 hours and I've a project to finish by Friday evening.
On the other hand, I've a complaining gf.4 -
One of my cousin started his higher studies in Computer Sciences. He asked me to teach him any web language so I started with JavaScript. After one week, he came to me complaining that according to his C++ professor, JS is a worst programming language. The professor told him not to learn it.
WTH?4 -
Was interested to code more but had to force myself to bed because I wanted to give some rest to my brain.2
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I miss those days when I used to sit and have endless dev related conversations with my university fellows. Now, all my non-dev friends only talk about girls, cars, vacations etc. FML2
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Lol. So dumb of me. I never knew there was a web version of devRant :p I was so happy on my phone that I never cared to check LOL :D2
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Why won't they listen to us the first time?
One of my client's logo used blue and orange colors. He wanted the website to be echo friendly by using most of the green in the web design. We suggested that it would make the web design seem weird but he disagreed.
Anyhow, we went on with the design and designer actually did a pretty good job making the design look great in green along with 2 logo colors. Design was approved. We coded the website and asked the client to do final testing.
Today, I received an email from the client that he wants to remove echo friendly -- the green color -- completely from the website and replace that color with the logo colors.
FML.3 -
You're stuck in a problem for hours. You light a cig and with the first suck of flame, it comes to you how to fix the problem.
It happens to me everytime. -
This is getting weird. Every day, I finish all pending dev jobs in time and then I get 4-5 hours of spare time.
What to do man!5 -
2 months ago, I turned guest room in my home office. Earlier, the family used to call it guest room. Now they say, "That thing must be in his office".
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This client keeps on popping me with numerous emails. In last hour, I've received over dozen emails with the one sentence website feedback from him.
Make a proper feedback document and send it to me at once you creepy animal.1 -
Some relatives visited me last night. As soon their son realized I'm a coder, he started asking me silly questions e.g. he had installed some silly hitman game and asked me to tell him reason for it wasn't working on his system.
WTF man? How could I tell you the reason without even looking at the installation or error. -
Hate it when client demands a small specific change and doing what requires a lot of modifications in the code.3
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What is the scope of Meteor? Does it have a steep learning curve? I'm planning to build a cross platform app (web + mobile).2
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Revenge is best served cold
It had been over 7 weaks since Microsoft was prompting me to restart my system to update Windows.
Today, they took over.
30 mins and still I'm looking at screen waiting to finish updates.9 -
Alright. So bye bye to sticky notes. I finally started using Wunderlist app.
No more handwriting I guess :-/2 -
Once a programmer writes his first line of code, he can never undo it.
Despite of no-code mood, I opened the IDE and started typing with a single finger.
What's wrong with us? We breath code -
It's been 2 months that I've been waking up early and sleeping before midnight. I miss coding all night 😢4
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I am very sleepy at the moment. I slept while typing and my head fell on the keyboard.
Just 5 more mins. Almost there 😩1 -
Today marks the 2 years of my night shift. It appears it would take another 2 years to settle in the day shift.
This change of shift doesn't suit me at all. I sleep at working hours and stay awake all night.
What do I do?2 -
I'm glad @dfox has put the "3 rants/hour" limitation. Otherwise, the way I feel to rant, I would have filled up the timeline.1
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Decided to reset my Windows OS after 1.5 years. Such things happen when you're not in the mood to code.1
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(If anyone remember) A lot of mine two months old rants were related to one of my client who also happened to be my relative. Now this client's uncle (who is also a relative) sent a message to me and asked me if I can put one of his nephew in my company. He assured me he's a good programmer.
Are you fucking kidding me? Just like that? If he was any good, he would have got a job or at least would have done anything by himself.
P.S. When I looked at his CV, he knew almost all languages :-/3 -
5 days since my last rant. Have been busy with some work.
The important update is that I finished 2 seasons of "Halt and Catch Fire" and I loved it. Recommended to every dev for motivation and inspiration.6 -
Client: I've this issue.......
Me: Clear browser cache.
Client: I've that issue.....
Me: Clear browser cache.
____________
Client: My site says "Your hosting account is suspended". I cleared browser cache. Nothing works.
Me: clear YOUR brain cache -
Spent 4 hours trying to make a query work and failed miserably.
Turns out I was using inverted commas around the value.
What the ....1 -
Family is out of country. Im getting 6 days off because of religious holidays. I think 6 days would be enough to jump start my new pet project. Bring it on!4
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I've found the right tools and plugins to finish this project in few hours. However, I'm continuously distracted
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I am afraid I might fall asleep tonight. I got work to do. I better make some good coffee.
P.s. No coffee at home -
Alright, so I've decided to move from Google Drive to MS OneDrive. I guess I was getting bored with GD interface :p2
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End of week.
Hasn't got much to do.
Just browsing through Youtube and waiting for my today's shift to end. -
Just done with the second meeting of the day with the same client. The client decided to arrange another on Monday :-/6
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I'm done with all dev tasks. I don't know how am I supposed to spend next 5-6 hours :-/
Not interested in working on pet projects either.3 -
DigitalOcean. Easy to use, rebuild and destroy. DNS is a plus. However, I had problems with using the droplets at a specific location.
I recently started using AWS Lightsail as well and found it so far so good. -
When I have to upload files to client's server urgently, the internet sucks. The uploading speed is going nitro while I'm uploading my data to OneDrive :-/
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Things People Learning to Code will Understand
Part-1: https://medium.freecodecamp.com/thi...
Part-2: https://medium.freecodecamp.com/thi... -
That moment when you find solution for a problem outdated, you fix the issues but too lazy to post it on internet for others.
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If I was supposed to make all content changes, I should have never spent time on coding the backend UX.
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My mind is so tired that I am unable to concentrate on people rants. I guess some sleep, couple of energy drinks and coffee would make me ready to work later tonight. See ya devs.
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Spent the day helping my family to pack their bags. Just got home after dropping them to airport. No energy left to code. My pet projects are never gonna finish 😢
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Just opened devRant in a desktop browser after a very (x5) long time and boy I love the new interface. So much information is available on a single screen.
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How many of you using their real names in username? I hope your clients never find your complaints in here 😷3
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Wondering how would I finish the website in few hours with the shoulder pain 😥 No pain killer at home.3
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Probably a bug @dfox
I've been providing my feedbacks through the Feedback menu. However, I'm writing this issue in here just to know if I'm alone.
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Issue
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Platform: iOS
When I clear the notifications and refresh the timeline for new rants, the notification badge shows a number. But there is no unread notification when I go to Notify. This has been occurring multiple times now.9 -
So I have biggest religious festival in the early morning (5 hours to go) and I am still trying to finish the project.
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What is the easiest way to convert a PHP/MYSQL app into android app?
My client needs it urgently and I'm not getting paid. So I don't intend to put much effort into it. It's just a gesture of goodwill.13 -
Posting here after more than a year and getting through the pandemic.
I typed more lines of code during this pandemic compared to last 2 years. -
Sometimes, I just hate to go through all the information and provide a quote to the client. Especially, when a project is no fun.1
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