This is how you'd imagine a sysadmin.

(Stolen from Reddit)

Brace yourselves, for it begins.
Awaiting furious customers in 3..2..

"Best" resumes in the world thread.

Brace yourselves...

In our office, everyone is placed so that we have a wall behind us. Initially, there was enough room behind us so that we can walk just fine.

Everything was fine till our manager didn't start making us some random visits and standing behind us just looking at our screens and making us feel unpleasant.

So one day we moved the tables so there is almost no room behind us. And we are aligned in a row with no space between the tables. Now if the manager decided to do it again he would have to struggle his way behind us.

Few days passed by and our manager finally showed he saw what we did, didn't say anything. It was clear that he wasn't happy about it. He tried to lean himself over the monitors to take a look but that was just not so as "good" as standing behind us...

A time passed and one day when we came to work we saw the tables moved forward some 15-20cm just enough to be able to move behind. Almost immediately we pulled them back as they were before.

We moved back and forward already few times and are currently playing cat and mouse with our manager.

Noone is saying anything just the tables are moving every 2-3 days or so. Let's see who is going to give up first hahaha

Brace yourself..

CEO: Can you make this and this
Me: Yes!
CEO: That's great, you can start working on that
Me: coding ... testing ... coding ... finished
CEO: Great it works, but can you explain to me what are the benefits of this
Me: ..... (why did you ask in the first place)

Today, I was told to investigate why the software doesn't work on "some" computers. I had no previous experience with that particular software but I just had to make some tests... easy, right? As soon as I ran the software, my computer crashed (I literally had to restart the pc). I asked my colleagues if I did something wrong but the set up seemed ok.

Later, in a random discussion about the software I found out it does "a little memory allocation". I opened the performance tab in task manager and ran the software again. In an instant, the RAM went from 1.3GB to 7.66GB (my pc has 8GB of RAM).

In an attempt to find how such a monstrosity was creater, I found out the developer that made the software had 16GB of RAM on his pc.

I have found something that eats RAM more than Chrome... brace yourselves.

One of my colleagues at work has cooked up this amazing amazing method.. and guys brace yourself.. This code is on production..

Brace for Ubuntu 17.10 release coming tomorrow. Bye bye my old friend Ubuntu Gnome and hello vanilla Ubuntu

PS: don't hate for liking Ubuntu, at least I'm on Linux, cmon 😄

Boss: A client has reported that he can't add products to the cart he gets redirected to "empty cart page" on safari or edge not sure, can you check it out?
Me: Yes
later...
Me: It's working on safari and edge but not on IE, I get that exact same problem on IE.
Boss: ok don't mind about IE
Me (inside) I've lived long enough to hear that YEAH !!!

Goodbye my old friend IE hahaha :D

Brace yourself NASA

Brace yourself, organs are going on the black market for the iPhone X.

I haven’t seen the keynote yet, but $2,000 for a phone, seriously this fucker better be making me coffee in the morning, if I have to sell my fucking kidneys and right leg to buy this one.

Ooh it offers a Face ID, cool so now I can stick a photo up at the camera and unlock my phone - security!!

It’s got a wireless charger***, sort of, still needs a useless ugly fucking charging pad .

And they’re even nice enough to put those shitty ear pods in the box.

Fuck you apple, I think it’s time I jumped off this over priced band wagon.

Brace yourselves for some rage. Laptop is broken and I have to use my sisters, with 2GB RAM and Win 7.

Why the fuck do teachers take points off for coding style. Like really placing my open house brace on the same line as an if is what looks good TO ME. And breaking from a while loop with an inverted condition is nicer than a huge if TO ME. Fuck it I like the m_ for member variables too. And yes C++ usually names functions like someFunction, but I like how c# does SomeFunction. Like shit, it's personal I don't care that I lose 5points every test I do it just to say fuck you

Today am migrating an app from Swift 2 to Swift 3.
Brace yourselves for some murder rants.

Brace yourselves, Amazon S3 memes/rants are coming! :D

Hacktoberfest time, and I usually try to contribute by creating some trivial issues and labelling them as such - ones that I could fix in 2 seconds, just to help those starting out get a pull request and get used to how the process works. Like, we're talking *really* trivial - remove superfluous import statements, that sort of thing. In most of these I list exactly what needs to be changed.

This guy picks, what's probably the *easiest* of these tasks going, and then comes back saying he's got some questions. Dude, seriously?! It's right there in the damn issue description.

Whatever, I decide to be nice and I say he's welcome to ask. Brace myself for answering some stupid crap, but fine, we were all new once.

THE GUY COMES BACK AND SAYS HE NEEDS A CALL. A call, seriously? What is this crap? I do you a favour by letting you create a trivial PR, and you want me to literally burn my time & jump on a call to take you through step by step what to do?! Pff, and people wonder why I'm grumpy most of the time.

Everytime I post on stack overflow.com ... I brace for the down votes to come flowing :|

Mystery of the day: why some developers can't decide on a code style. Let's count:
- two types of brace placements
- three types of assignment spacing (with, without spaces, and aligned with extra space)
- two types of clause spacing
- mixed case in the first char of a variable for no apparent reason(?)
- bonus: unneeded parentheses

At least in ONE thing the person was consistent: no space between parameters!

WHY GOD.

brace yourselves!!! we are deploying this weekend... (expect more rants to follow as the deployment continues (or fucks up) )

i ll quit smoking soon... brace yourself, the rants are comming

Warning deadline over due!Warning deadline over due!

Brace yourselves, long code nights are coming!

Ye, so after studying for an eternity and doing some odd jobs here and there, all I can show for are following traits:

* Super knowledgeable in arm/Intel assembly language
* C-Veteran with knowledge of some sick and nasty C-hacks/tricks which would even sour the mood of your grandma
* Acquired disdain of any and all scripting languages (how dare you write something in one line for which I need a whole library for!)
* All-in-all low-level programmer type of guy (gimme those juicy registers to write into!)

After completing the mandatory part of my computer science studies, all I did was immerse myself into low-level stuff. Even started to hold lectures and all.

Now I'm at the cusp of being let free into the open market.
The thing is: I'm pretty sure that no company is really interested in my knowledge, as no one really writes assembly anymore.

Sure, embedded programming is still a thing, but even that is becoming increasingly more abstract, with God knows how many layers of software between the hardware and the dev, just to hide all the scary bits underneath.

So, are there people in here who're actually exposed to assembly or any hands-on hardware-programming?
Like, on a "which bit in which register/addr do I need to set" - kind of way.

And if so, what would you say someone like me should lookout for in a company to match my interest to theirs?
Or is it just a pipe dream, so I'd need to brace myself to a mundane software engineer career where I have to process a ticket at a time?

(Just to give a reference: even the most hardware-inclined companies I found "near" me are developing UIs with HTML5 to be used in some such environment ....)

Look windows 10 update tomorrow...
Brace yourself update is coming.🐞🐞🐛🐛

Brace yourselves for the sticker board of my retired ThiccPad T540p with which I spent my undergraduate college years! My new laptop has no sticker on it ( maturing perhaps?) but has MOE POWA BABEY...
Keeping it as a backup device and an antique.

The end is here. StackOverflow is down. Brace for Armageddon.

So, what's everyone's opinion on curly brace placement?

I'm offline after 5pm

I do not understand people who critique Python for using indentation to mark code blcoks. I've seen multiple posts being like "Uhh in Python a missing space breaks everything and it's so hard to find it". Yeah so hard when the interpreter throws a parse error and tells you exactly which line it's on. Let me go back to a bracefest language, misplace a brace halfway through the file, and get told there's a syntax error at the end, and spend a whole two minutes finding it.

Brace yourself new PM joining the company next week

I found this somewhere on the web

the havoc that can be wreaked by a single misplaced closing brace

Brace yourselves, the GDPR pop ups are coming.

Usual python code problems coming from someone who has been coding in Javascript and PHP (<--no pitchforks please). It's been months already but old habits still keep on coming back
- adding a semi-colon
- mixing spaces with tabs
- using a lowercase boolean
- adding an open brace when declaring a function
- forgetting the colon ( ;'s brother)

Just awesome :c :/

Before you start pulling the code down for an API and debugging why a POST to it isn't persisting in SQL, verify your JSON is well-formed... 😒

That missing squiggly brace at the top is a buzzkill.

Brace yourself "React VR" is coming to town soon.

One of the teachers in the Stanford CS106A course videos online, Mehran Sahami.
He got me to change my brace-style. Nuff said.

3 years ago,
Team of 3(team's first and last competition together). ICPC ACM Multiprovisional round.
1st question super simple. Teammate came up with the algo.
I was the one who wrote the code. Missed a brace after a 'if' statement.
Wasted 45 mins, debugging and coming up with new approaches. From a possible top 10 rank finish, we got 44th at the end of the competition.
If I wouldn't have done this silly mistake, our team wouldn't have failed.

Hail Adventurer,

By Linus, do not fear what you see
and curse not I, but those before me

hold steady in the storms to come
brace for bugs, wherever from

I pass on to you, the light of PHP
Use it well, to fight against scrutiny

if it works, keep it so, ask not why
my time is over, while yours is nigh

Just got Echo Dot. Brace yourself for Alexa's jokes posts

Just got asked to put @company_profile on my Instagram bio .... Because "we are now active on Instagram" -.-

My biggest insecurity is that I missed out on new technology. I've been stuck on my last job working and maintaining a Magento store and doing only boring stuff, fixing bugs in php, etc. I it's been like that for 3 years but before 6 months I've switched jobs and now I'm learning new stuff, feals good :D

After a programming exam, a student criticized me for using the "wrong" indentation style: I used 1TBS (opening curly brace on same line), but Allman style (opening curly brace on new line) would be "better" and "preferred by most other students".

The programming language was Go.

being physically disabled is such a nightmare. i have experienced a whole different personality of being dependent on others , being incapable of basic tasks and feeling incomplete all the times. it's very humbling, and i have found a whole new respect for human body and social conduct.

just want to get whole again. don't know how long its going to take a humerus arm fracture to join back on is own, now that i got a plate screwed to the broken parts to keep them together.
the doctors will probably ask me to remove the external brace after a few months followed by exercises for next more months the complete bends/stretch will probably take 6-9 months and bone will join enough in 1-2 year after which i could get the plate removed (this is the happy case, not considering the high risk of my bones getting permanently twisted or plate getting envolped by bone mass )

everything simply sucks till then. imagine getting pushed back in your life by 2+ yrs in your prime age of 25.
farewell to my dreams of adventure sports, senior goals and gappy marriage .

folks, don't do stupid stuff that can get your body into trouble, you WILL regret.

I've finally quit my job today! It's been too long a time in the making. I was absolutely terrified but turned it into a positive discussion (considering the circumstances).

Looking forward to jumping into the interview grind once again, to return after a short sabbatical. It won't be pretty. Shitty jobs are abundant. Recruiters who know jack shit are incoming. Brace yourselves. Here's to finding something worthwhile! Cheers

Doctor who was examining me if I'm capable of working with computers had to write my job position in form. It was 'Working Student (SCM)'.

In middle of paperwork she looked at me and asked "how to enter brace on this?" while pointing on the keyboard..

Geez, and I was upset that my mom can not distinguish between google and address bar.

Many of you commented on my previous rant regarding my first ever freelance gig that I would definitely be back with even more to rant... here I am.

What was supposedly a 1 to 1.5 month long project became one that is stretching beyond 3, if lucky, else 4 months long. Requirements and scope evolving more complex and with variations more intense than pokemon evolutions.

I fucked up. I signed a contract that nobody would have. I didn't plan or protect my ass enough to prevent such shit from happening. I severely underestimated and hence under quoted. This is one of the nightmare situations a freelancer could be in (in my opinion). I mean it could only get better... Right? I'm preparing myself for one hell of a payment at the end of the project. Brace yourself, payment is hopefully coming as fast as the number of seasons it took for winter to come in GoT.

On the bright side, I'm currently working on a new project with a client that is indeed much much better than this first. I mean he is a nice person and communications thus far has been nothing short of great.

I guess it's good to start with your expectations rock bottom, that way nothing else can be worse, I hope.

Brace yourself, 2^8 posts are coming, my sweet sweet non-2^8 child.

Try putting a wrong ending brace, then get ready for hours of mind blowing experience.

Let me tell you a short story. Back in 2016 I resigned my job and started working in my current company 1.10.2016.
One year later in 2017 I got a loan approved on the same date 1.10.2017.
Going forward to today, I resigned my current job moving on and the date when I'm starting the new job is also 1.10. and to make more interesting the load is ending on the same date. I was already thinking about that date and the coincidence and remembered that my wife's birthday is on the SAME date, now I'm afraid and have a feeling that something else will happen hahah

What do you think am I just overthinking or? :D

We've introduced an official coding style at my work, which is great. Visual Studio will even alert us when code isn't up to snuff.

What Microsoft didn't think to do was let me automatically apply naming conventions across entire solutions or even just projects. I got to spend a few hours today manually going through hundreds of files and and applying the style guide.

I can automatically apply brace style across an entire solution, why won't you let me do the same with naming conventions?! A few hours down, a few more to go.

Having code review with static code analysis and running unit tests on every commit is super useful. Except when you are commiting stuff in a biggest repo in company that goes through CI in ~20min+ and if you try to additionally deploy it to dev server... you'd better brace yourself...

What is your ideal duo monitor size?

when you have that one problem client you dread talking to and you've memorized their phone number to brace yourself to answer their call

My first Rant/Story

One year ago I was told I'll be working on a Magento 2 project.
I was told it's great you'll see it's so much better then Magento 1 (at that time I didn't even know what Magento is or what it's used for).

Now one year later, a day doesn't pass that I don't discover something new in it to hate. Every day there is something new that doesn't make any sense at all. But I found my way to live with it.. at least it isn't boring haha

((Human)me).initialize(new Activity().setActivity(new Project((AndroidApp)devrant_clone, new ProgrammingLanguage ("java"))));

Brace yourself java null pointer exception is already on its way.

When first I saw the brace, I was petrified!
Kept thinking, who would ever try to put them on the side?!
But then I spent so many nights, thinking how your program's wrong,
My beard grew long, found out how Python gets along..

Copied from Reddit.

brace yourself UAT is coming

When you don't compile small code snippet and keeps on writing lines of codes and after writing large lines of code that one moment when you start compiling your code for the first time

Brace yourself for errors 😕

Has your dev career changed after getting married?

What is everyone's preferred formatting for functions/if statements. Does the first curly brace go on the same line or a new line?

function 1() {

}

or

function 2()
{

}

I genuinely want tp know why few devs don't add the opening brace on the same line as method/class declaration ??

Whenever I find a piece of code which follow such style a part of me cries thinking of the time I'll be spending first correcting...

Don't fall into frivolous arguments about tabs/spaces or brace style. It doesn't matter. But please make sure your code is at least formatted in a *consistent* manner - everyone else that reads your code will thank you.

ITS VBA again!

I made two misstakes today.

The first one was touching vba, the second one was assuming things.

The two statements are almost the same except the braces. VBA uses IF [condition] THEN..i soo foulhardly assumed that, when you just chain conditions together with an AND its taken as one statement. While in reality it apparently ignores some conditions and not some others.

I really dont bother with VBA a lot and try to avoid it, but upon occassion the need arises. I still dont know why the brace variant does the expected behaviour while the without does not. It seemingly does not ignore thew first two conditions but the third which makes it even more confusing. But as i dont know enough about VBA to say with confidence its on Excel and not on me i squelch my rage and tend the happiness that it now works..somehow.

Done and with that JS2PS convertor now need to Run that code. God Brace us.....
But first need to create types for each function and services.
FML need to complete it by this weekend

The Code Abyss Beckons! 🤯

Hey fellow devs, brace yourselves for a wild ride into the chaotic realm of code confessions and debugging dramas! 🎢💻

So, here I am, standing at the precipice of my latest coding adventure, armed with a keyboard and a questionable amount of caffeine. 🚨☕

Today's quest involves unraveling the mysteries of a legacy code that seems to have been written in a language only decipherable by ancient coding sages. 😱📜

As I navigate through the nested loops of confusion and dance with the dragons of runtime errors, I can't help but wonder: Is this what the Matrix feels like for developers? 🕵️‍♂️💊

In the midst of my debugging odyssey, I stumbled upon a comment in the code that simply said, "// Abandon hope, all ye who enter here." 🏴‍☠️📛 Well, isn't that reassuring?

And then there's the moment when you finally fix that elusive bug, and you feel like you've just tamed a mythical creature. 🦄✨ Victory dance, anyone? 💃🕺

But let's not forget the rubber duck sitting on my desk, patiently listening to my monologues about algorithms and existential coding crises. 🦆🗣️

So, dear coding comrades, how's your journey through the code abyss going? Any epic wins or facepalming fails to share? Let the rants flow like a river of improperly closed tags! 🌊🚫

May your semicolons be where they should and your documentation be ever truthful. Happy coding, and may your merge conflicts be swift and painless! 🌈🤞

#CodeOdyssey #DebuggingDrama #DevRantChronicles

Oh, look at Mr. Fancy over here with his "consistent indentation" and "readable code."
Let's just put the opening curly brace wherever we feel like it and let the next dev deal with a migraine. Brilliant!

Ah, the eternal battle between "Allman style" and "K&R style" bracing. Because arguing over where to put an opening curly brace is what I dreamed of when I became a developer.

Can we just agree on something and move on?

!tech . Can a doctor ever advise to get off the preventive measures?
I had a fracture 2 months ago which lead to a surgery in which a plate was inserted in my arm. post surgery i was asked to wear an arm brace (pic in comments)
this is basically a preventive brace to restrict certain movements while new bone is coming up at the crack.

i can understand its need but i am not sure if the doctor is going to recommend not using it ever. my arm has healed enough that i no longer feel pain in the surgery area, but in x rays, the bone still shows as not healed.

my feeling is that i should start wearing normal clothes and discard the brace and bone will eventually come on its own. its been 60+ days already.

But last time i had checkup with the doctor, he said to continue my daily operations while wearing ba brace because "what's wrong with wearing a brace in public? your hand was broken, now you can work with both hands but wearing a brace while your hand heals?"

What's your favorite snippet manager?