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Search - "totally random"
Random : Hey you're a programmer right?
Me : Yeah? *excited about possibilities*
Random : I am having troubles installing a game I downloaded. I've been trying for three weeks now.
Me : *sigh* OK, I'll have a look, but I can't guarantee I'll get it right.
*Spend about 10 seconds installing game.*
Random : How did you do that?
Me : I read the error message, it was pointing to the wrong file.
Random : You are a god man *calls wife* come look at this genius. *calls daughter* look at that *calls dog* this guy is so amazing.
I also now avoid Random, he had three hard drives, each with a different version of Windows installed, he totally screwed his bios, he admitted not having put thermal paste on his cpu. And he asked me to fix all of this whenever I have time.
I am not your computer fixer guy. Take It to the shop.12
Prospective client: “I have a website through which I sell music, both physical copies and downloads, but am having all kinds of issues with it”.
Me: “Like what? Tell me more.”
Client: “Go to www... I’ll go through them with you”.
So I go, and client proceeds to rattle off a list of totally random shit for the next 26 and a half minutes without even stopping for breath, telling me what he’d prefer, talking through how easy other “similar” websites are and comparing his own website to them, as well as all the things that flat out just don’t work. He ended with the line “I just paid my developer who told me it was all good, but now he’s telling me he’s too busy to work on it”.
Meanwhile I’ve had a gander at “view source” and can see it’s been “built” with Wordpress, and with a fuck ton of plugins and shit to boot... you can only imagine the sense of euphoria I’m feeling at this point.
Me: “Did you have a contract with your developer?”
Me: “Do you have a budget in mind, either for just making right or for ongoing development?”
Client: “Yes, but minimal”.
Me: “So what do you want from me?”
Client: “I want to know how much it’s going to cost to fix!!!!” (apparently irritated by my question).
Me: “Oooook... Is there any way I can have access to your website to investigate, or clone it so I can recreate what’s going on?”
Client: “Yes” (gives me details of how to log in to his hosting, and WP admin).
Turns out, he had over 50 active plugins for literally EVERY. SINGLE. FUCKING. PIECE of functionality on his website. Furthermore, it was pretty clear that some plugin functionality overlapped, because... well, if you don’t know how to do something, install a plugin or seven to get it done, right?
Me: “So can I ask, what exactly is your budget? Just to give me ballpark as to how best move forward?”
Client: After going into how he’s already spent a lot of money on it already, “If we could we agree on below £200?”
Me: “...what, a month?”
Client: “No! In total. To make it right. Once it’s done it’s done, surely?!?!”
*a long silence*
Client: “So... what do you think?”
Me: “Burn it. Burn it all down”.8
toxic workplace; leaving
I haven't wanted to write this rant. I haven't even wanted to talk to anyone (save my gf, ofc). I've just been silently fuming.
I wrote a much longer rant going into far too much detail, but none of that is relevant, so I deleted it and wrote this shorter (believe it or not) version instead. And then added in more details because details.
On Tuesday, as every Tuesday, I had a conference call with the rest of the company. For various, mostly stupid reasons, the boss yelled at and insulted me for twenty minutes straight in front of everyone, telling me how i'm disorganized, forgetful, how can't manage my time, can't manage myself let alone others, how I don't have my priorities straight, etc. He told the sales team to get off the call, and then proceeded to yell and chew at me for another twenty minutes in front of the frontend contractor about basically the same things. The call was 53 minutes, and he spent 40 minutes of it telling me how terrible I've been. No exaggeration, no spin. The issues? I didn't respond to an email (it got lost in my ever-filling inbox), and I didn't push a very minor update last week (untested and straight to prod, ofc). (Side note: he's yelled at me for ~15 minutes before for being horribly disorganized and unable to keep up on Trello -- because I had a single card in the wrong column. One card, out of 60+ over two boards. Never mind that most have time estimates, project tags, details, linked to cards on his boards, columns for project/qa/released, labels for deferred, released to / rejected from qa, finished, in production, are ordered by priority, .... Yep. I'm totes disorganized.)
Anyway, I spent most of conference call writing "Go fuck yourself," "Choke on a cat and die asshole," "Shit code, low pay, and broken promises. what a prize position," etc. or flipping him off under the camera on our conference-turn-video-call (switched due to connection issues, because ofc video is more stable than audio-only in his mind).
so, so done.
I did nothing the rest of the day on Tuesday, and basically just played games on Wednesday. I did one small ticket -- a cert replacement since that was to expire the next day -- but the rest was just playing CrossCode. (fun game, fyi; totally recommend.)
Today? It's 3:30pm and I can't be bothered to do anything. I have an "urgent" project to finish by Monday, literally "to give [random third party sales guy] a small win". Total actual wording. I was to drop all other tasks (even the expiring cert lol) and give this guy his small win. fucking whatever. But the project deals with decent code -- it's a minor extension to the first project I did for the company (see my much earlier rants), back when I was actually applying myself and learning something (everything) new, enjoying myself, and architecting+writing my own code. So I might actually do the project, but It's been two days and I haven't even opened single file yet.
But yeah. This place is total and complete shit. Dealing with the asshole reminds me of dealing with my parents while growing up, and that's a subject I don't want to broach -- far too many toxic memories.
So, I'm quitting as soon as I find something new.
and with luck, this will be before assface hires my replacement-to-be, and who will hopefully quit as soon as s/he sees the abysmal codebase. With even more luck, the asshole king himself will get to watch his company die due to horrible mismanagement. (though ofc he'll never attribute it to himself. whatever.)
I just never want to see or think about him again.
(nor this fetid landfill of a codebase. bleh.)
With luck, this will be one of my last rants about this toxic waste dump and its king of the pile.
Fourty fucking minutes, what the fuck.34
My job interview went like this:
Him: I see you say you like electronic music on your CV
Me: Indeed, I produce a bit of music. I have this controller for my DAW (showing my Launchpad).
Him: Oh yes I have the same! (Him, showing the exact same machine). I also use it to trigger vim macros (<3). Tell me about an artist you like
Me: I loved XXX (it's an obscure duo from Iceland, totally random)
Him: Oh wow I have their vinyl here. Actually, their new label is one of our customers.
Dream do come true lol.18
This rant is a confession I had to make, for all of you out there having a bad time (or year), this story is for you.
Last year, I joined devRant and after a month, I was hired at a local company as an IT god (just joking but not far from what they expected from me), developer, web admin, printer configurator (of course) and all that in my country it's just called "the tech guy", as some of you may know.
I wasn't in immediate need for a full-time job, I had already started to work as a freelancer then and I was doing pretty good. But, you know how it goes, you can always aim for more and that's what I did.
The workspace was the usual, two rooms, one for us employees and one for the bosses (there were two bosses).
Let me tell you right now. I don't hate people, even if I get mad or irritated, I never feel hatred inside me or the need to think bad of someone. But, one of the two bosses made me discover that feeling of hate.
He had a snake-shaped face (I don't think that was random), and he always laughed at his jokes. He was always shouting at me because he was a nervous person, more than normal. He had a tone in his voice like he knew everything. Early on, after being yelled for no reason a dozen of times, I decided that this was not a place for me.
After just two months of doing everything, from tech support to Photoshop and to building websites with WordPress, I gave my one month's notice, or so I thought. I was confronted by the bosses, one of which was a cousin of mine and he was really ok with me leaving and said that I just had to find a person to replace me which was an easy task. Now, the other boss, the evil one, looked me on the eye and said "you're not going anywhere".
I was frozen like, "I can't stay here". He smiled like a snake he was and said "come on, you got this we are counting on you and we are really satisfied with how you are performing till now". I couldn't shake him, I was already sweating. He was rolling his eyes constantly like saying "ok, you are wasting my time now" and left to go to some basketball practice or something.
So, I was stuck there, I could have caused a scene but as I told you, one of the bosses was a cousin of mine, I couldn't do anything crazy. So, I went along with it. Until the next downfall.
I decided to focus on the job and not mind for the bad boss situation but things went really wrong. After a month, I realised that the previous "tech guy" had left me with around 20 ancient Joomla - version 1.0 websites, bursting with security holes and infested with malware like a swamp. I had never seen anything like it. Everyday the websites would become defaced or the server (VPN) would start sending tons of spam cause of the malware, and going offline at the end. I was feeling hopeless.
And then the personal destruction began. I couldn't sleep, I couldn't eat. I was having panick attacks at the office's bathroom. My girlfriend almost broke up with me because I was acting like an asshole due to my anxiety issues (but in the end she was the one to "bring me back"(man, she is a keeper)) and I hadn't put a smile on my face for months. I was on the brink of depression, if not already there. Everyday I would anxiously check if the server is running because I would be the one to blame, even though I was trying to talk to the boss (the bad one was in charge of the IT department) and tell him about the problem.
And then I snapped. I finally realised that I had hit rock bottom. I said "I can't let this happen to me" and I took a deep breath. I still remember that morning, it was a life-changing moment for me. I decided to bite the bullet and stay for one more month, dealing with the stupid old server and the low intelligence business environment. So, I woke up, kissed my girlfriend (now wife), took the bus and went straight to work, and I went into the boss's office. I lied that I had found another job on another city and I had one month in order to be there on time. He was like, "so you are leaving? Is it that good a job the one you found? And when are you going? And are you sure?", and with no hesitation I just said "yup". He didn't expect it and just said "ok then", just find your replacement and you're good to go. I found the guy that would replace me, informing him of every little detail of what's going on (and I recently found out, that he is currently working for some big company nowadays, I'm really glad for him!).
I was surprised that it went so smoothly, one month later I felt the taste of freedom again, away from all the bullshit. Totally one of the best feelings out there.
I don't want to be cliche, but do believe in yourself people! Things are not what the seem.
With all that said, I want to give my special thanks to devRant for making this platform. I was inactive for some time but I was reading rants and jokes. It helped me to get through all that. I'm back now! Bless you devRant!
I'm glad that I shared this story with all of you, have an awesome day!16
My boss pissed me off so much yesterday I totally ditched work today. I had some spiced rum for breakfast (and dinner) and spent the day playing minecraft and browsing Black Friday specials.
I did a little bit of work that (oversimplified) involved paying a Clover contractor for doing basically nothing. Totes cool with that as the guy is really nice and a decent dev. Annoyingly, though, he started hitting on me and asked me out on a date at the end of the call. He's like 65 and has a daughter (grand daughter?) my age, so that's like totally creepy. Ugh.
Getting hit on by random old men is still better than talking to Mr. Asshole the Sales Fetishizer, though.12
It was the time of the 90s when one created HTML with frames. During an HTML exam we had 1 hour to create a website with 3 frames. Top, left, main. Some aligned random images and some formatted text. Kind of boring, I know. So I finished early and handed in my diskette with my homepage. To make it easy for him I added my name and class to the title.
When we got our grades I was in for a surprise since I had expected a good grade. I asked him why I didn't get a good grade. He kind of shouted at me that my task was perfectly done but I shouldn't have written my name in the title but name and address of this school. It is not a really dramatic thing but I always hated when teachers quietly assumed stuff and didn't tell us. And then handed out bad graded for totally unrelated stuff.3
me: *tries to find a file in system*
Ubuntu: No problem bud, here's a thing which you're looking for
macOS: Sure thing chief, here's your stuff.
Windows 10: Here's a random thing I found on the Internet which is totally irrelavent. By the way, I see you're using Chrome, would you like to start Microsoft Edge instead? 🙃10
Business User [1 PM]: So I know every month you’ve been using your dark magic SQL skills to transform my monthly data into better monthly data.
Well I know it’s the middle of the month, and this is totally random... but... I have some other data formatted totally differently, almost totally different data! You can just run this through your magic SQL Proc right?? Easy! Also, I need this by end of day... thank you for your support.
Me [1:01 PM]: K.5
Before I left corporate America, I worked with a guy who was basically the definition of 'idiot savant' sans the actual diagnosis. He was ridiculously smart, but couldn't stay on task to save his life.
Like one time we landed a project with a major client. My team was running backend, his was running mobile integration. After a month of little to no visible activity, we approached him and he just said 'oh yea, i got sidetracked'... but he wasn't working on anything else. Just found some random shinny pebble that caught his attention and he bailed on everything else.
To make matters worse, his personal hygiene was nonexistent (I don't think he's showered since either), and he LOVED writing things in super-obscure languages that even the best we had hadn't ever heard of, with nonsensical (and often totally misleading) variable names and no inline comments. Trying to put someone new on something he'd touched was like asking an English professor to translate a 10K year old tablet dug up in the middle of the desert. Just didn't work.
But... the CEO flat out refused to get rid of him for years, until virtually every other employee simultaneously turned in our two weeks.3
Wow my job sucks right now. Un fuckin believable.
I got hired a month ago as a programmer. Everything went fine at first, then my Boss asked if I could do 3D modeling, and I could, I used Maya for 4 years, but I told him I only can do simple low poly models. A partner company of ours needed some help in their 3D department and I had to help.
Well, I thought, a small 3D project from time to time would be nice and refreshing, especially since it was very easy geometry, my Boss even showed me some previous projects and That was totally doable even for me.
So i started out making the first few models in blender, because we dont have anything else. After a day of getting used to blender i sent off the first models and it all began.
They wanted detailed, high poly models of some mechanical parts, my Boss originally told me it was just an abstract visualisation... fuck me...
Well I agreed to it so had to do it. The partnering Company started to change things, seemingly at random. Had a model completely modelled, textured and animated, now they want to change the model so I have to redo the UVs, the texture and the Animation god fucking damnit.
But still I thought ok, its only for a bit. Now my boss accepted even more work. Because of endless reworks I couldnt finish even one model and have to already make the new ones.
Now my boss is pissed because that company is pissed that i cant know what they want.
Big pile of misscommunication.
I hope this is over soon but I overheard that more is coming...6
Oh null, how I detest you.
select birthdate, isnull(birthdate) from Users;
>> [null, 0]
Maybe I wrongfully accuse the abstract concept, and should rather loathe the engineers who can't wrap their heads around null despite their heads being a skull literally wrapping fucking nothingness.
"Wait that's invalid input. What do we do?"
"Default the date to 0000-00-00?"
"That kind of looks like a null..."
"Hmm but it isn't *really* a full-on, butt-clenching, hardcore, intrinsic, I-can-taste-it-in-the-air null"
"Yeah not really feeling it either. It's not giving me the typical null-goosebumps."
"Oh, I know! Let's make it a pretend-null, where the actual type totally depends on the layer of the application!"
"Yeah developers love ambiguous random conversions!"4
Soo.. I am half way done with Pre-Release 10!
However.. The update log is already as long as the full update log for the last update.. Which was twice as long as the log for the update before..
I'm Starting to notice a pattern.. XD
This is all good and well, but I feel as if I'm overworking myself. I'm getting stressed out, and I'm not spending near as much time with my girlfriend. 3: But, I'm having fun. I'm genuinely enjoying myself, and I'm making a ton of progress in such a short amount of time. I also have a new team member!
Idk.. I haven't done anything the past two days really. Work nor spending time with my girlfriend. I'm stressed, and I'm not sure what I should do. I'm sooper modivated to keep working, but I feel that my situation will only get worse.
Because I'm sure some of you will be interested ('cause my game is very popular in this community <3), here is the update list so-far. Do note that this is not the final list, and things will be added, and may be removed.
As you can see below, this update is mostly focussed around API's. Specifically Modding, and the new FileSystem. On top of this, I will *try* and tinker with the official Patreon API for Java and see if I can't intergrate that into my game. I'll also work on a ModManager, but I'm not sure if either of these will make it into this release. I also have plans for new Apps and Commands for this release, as well as working and polishing up existing Apps and Commands.
* Closing the game with X button (and other ways) now also calls preExitTasks()
+ Added AddonLoader. It's literally a Mod-Loader. (Your welcome :3) A tutorial coming soon, but just know that it's standard Java codeing and you simply need to drop the mod.jar into the game's addons/ directory.
++ Added "API" - This is a bunch of methods that are added for the Mods to use. These Methods likely wouldn't of been added othewise.
+ Added in-game FileSystems (Folder, files..)
++ Added FileNavigator API for traversing the in-game FileSystems
* Fixed a major bug with the "debug" command where you could no longer run any commands after enabling debug mode.
+ Added GameSave creation
+ Added System creation
+ New Save + localsystem are generated on startup
++ Added WindowBuilder API for creating Apps. This makes creating Apps much, much simpler, and is intended for not only us, but use in Mods.
* We re-wrote the Console Class from scratch, and turned it into an API for creating custom Terminal Apps. (Commands are now created using the Command Class and are then passed to Console and registered as either a Local or Global command)
++ Added Command API for creating commands. These commands execute Java code, much like a JavaFX Button would, on each call. You also get everything after the first [space] of the command that was passed, as a String.
* Re-wrote ALL previously implimented Apps.
* Re-wrote ALL previously implimented Commands.
+ Added "debugtest" command to test debug mode. (This just prints a totally boring random message, and you shouldn't try it.) [Note: This "command will not exist" when debug mode is false.]
+ Added "cd" command. ("cd ~" "cd .." "cd /home/folder" "cd etc" "cd /")
+ Added "cat" command. ("cat file" "cat /folder/file")
+ Added "mkdir" command.
+ Added "rm" command.
+ Added "dir" command.
If you're new and you have no clue what I'm talking about, here's the info page: https://trello.com/b/0bH2SjQf2
Switched jobs one month ago.
Used to work overtime on complex features, every engineer was 10x, learned a bunch, worked my ass of everyday. Switch due to overtime and because I wanted more personal time.
Anyways, at the new job I’ve completed two tickets in a month, code is shit, no one cares about the quality, scalability, etc. I’m payed 2x more and I currently work max 3 hours a day. Feels weird AF. I guess I got what I wanted, but didn’t know back then that professionally I’m going to degrade. Didn’t happen yet, but I can see that in the future.
Why do recruiters say you need 5 years of experience for a certain framework when the framework was released 2 fucking years ago. Don't they consult with engineers what they want or do they just think of a random fucking number and write it down. And why do they think the OOPs concepts are totally different for all programming languages?? Also the job descriptions are usually very vague and ambiguous.
JD for SDET: you will work with engineers and help build scalable solutions bla bla
JD for SDE: you will work to build scalable solutions bla bla
Is this deliberately done so that a poor candidate wastes his or her time applying for a wrong position or even giving an interview??4
Now, I started in a new position as a dev back in September 2020 - after some starting pleasantries like "how are you", "whats up", "how is your weekend" the working relationship with my office partner soured.
It started with asking me TOTALLY random questions while my headset was on and i was "in the zone". These were questions like: "where should I buy a car", "Why is the virus spreading so fast". I tried to answer politely but made it very clear that when the headset is on my brain and every fibre in my body is inside the code and f---ing it.
Then it escalated, she called me 9.30PM on xmas day and wondered if i needed the API we are using........ Which i most certainly did not.
Now she hates me because I asked to move to another office and was granted that request 15 minutes after asking....7
My best prank: A year ago I was at my friends flat, which he finally rented with his new girlfriend. He is a kind of person, which has like constantly opened 110 tabs in chrome, three or four instances of chrome running, torrenting at full speed and in the meanwhile a few films having opened to "watch" later. He is very very secure about his computer and NEVER leaves me or anyone else alone with his computer. That day we were just talking in the same room, and he goes for some food. I was like yeah thats my chance to prank him. So I opened a new tab and came with an idea - what If I change his desktop background to some random chick, to prank both him and his gf. I knew she will not be mad but his reaction would be priceless (it was his first gf). So I started googling, found a three pretty naked chicks. This was like soft porn, they were still "dressed" but not much. I did not wanted to use a porn for this.
So I was about to download image - right click - save as - little window opened and..
...what the hell, that guy had literally like terabytes of porn in download folder, all totally in one chaos, thousands of images, millions of downloaded videos, all categories just everything from gangbang to milfs or old/ young, what the fuck that computer was like cursed station of porn.
In that point I was like fuck that. This prank has no sense then. So I just closed that little window and did nothing. Prank failed.
Nowdays, He still does not know what I know about his "hobbies". And I will never say him lol. About a months after he broke with his gf and moved to different house. He has now three monitors attached to his computer and 4tb of space. He is still complaining about "lack of space" and "too big downloaded movies" but we all know what is going on lol. We call his "working deck" a sacred porn station.1
Calling all bored js devs...
So I just noticed that rantBlock is the most ++'ed collab on devRant! This was totally unexpected since it was just another proof of concept of a random idea I had while bored.
The problem is I do not have time in the next few months to develop it further. I would love to see it ported to uBlock and officially released on the chrome/mozilla/microsoft stores so I am posting an open invitation for devRanters to take it over.
Realistically though while the collab is popular on devRant the repo was not cloned enough times to even show - it only had one watcher and 7 stars so I am not sure if it will get much usage once released, but I promise to download it.
Even with that in mind it's a pretty fun side project if your into ad blocking (ad how it works) and browser extensions for the holidays and you have a community of devs to get feedback from.
Leave a comment if you would like to see it properly published or would like to contribute and you guys can network from there.
Fuck my country's universities, fucking greedy assholes that ruin lives, suck wallets and sucks life from the young.
I'm currently studying something completely non related to programming: History. And I really love it. I love reading 1000 pages for each test and essay and talking about the problem of naming the Cold War a war and cold and etc. The problem is that I won't make as much money as I would make even as a self taught developer.
After considering my possibilities, I thought I could enter the computer science carreer. I don't know how this works in other countries but here you would have to study 3 years of an engineering common plan and then specialise in some sort of industrial engineering while getting an specialisation also in computer science. After some counting, I got to the conclusion that I would be studying 6 years (or more), and wasting half of those years learning stuff that I would never use nor care about.
But that's not all. This semester I took the introductory class for programming. It's pretty basic stuff but at least they teach a little bit about algorithms and problem solving. It turns out that a friend of mine that's about to graduate from computer science applied as a helper for the prof. I was so excited I could finally talk with someone about code!
Since the start of the semester I have been passing a lot of time with him and talking about the future. Turns out he doesn't understand shit about code but somehow he learns everything by hard and has passed every computer science course without having any practical abilities. I don't blame him, he's studying hard and playing by the rules, and turns out that he has wasted precious time of his life also learning biology, chemistry, structural engineering, hidraulic engineering, transportation engineering and a ton of engineerings that he won't use.
If the university would instead take that time to teach better courses of practical programming or leave him some time to try out the stuff he learns by hard, he wouldn't have to hear me talking about stuff he doesn't comprehend but feels that should, and wouldn't be utterly depressed, he wouldn't take SIX years to learn less than what he could learn in less than THREE years. And this isn't just a random university, it is one of the 2 best universities we have here and was in 2014 the best of all Latin America.
And wait, here comes the best part. In my country, levels of education are heavily stratified. After school, superior studies give different titles according to the time you've been studying. Yes just the time. And these titles are what your employers will see to give you different work positions. So for studying a 2 year carreer you get a technic job which pays well but not too well, then at 4 years you get a license title which only proves that you know stuff, then at 5 or more (depending on what you are studying) you get a professional degree and will get payed as a full fledged professional. So here, even though in other countries it takes 6 years to have a masters in engineering, they give you just the engineering degree, and it would take 2 (or more) more years to have a master. Even though you can totally teach engineering in 4 years, here they take BY LAW 2 years more, while paying what a fucking full stack of pairs of kidneys would cost in the black market.
So fuck that shit, I won't be throwing my money at any university. I hope they get reformed soon becouse this is fucking dumb, really really dumb. Like 2 year old shit dumb. I'll just learn a bit more, make some projects until I have a decent portfolio and apply to some company that cares for real knowledge and not just a piece of paper with letters and a shitty logo on it.11
Today i was trying to solve a problem on my graphs algorithm (find the shortest path) but i was not able to do almost anything, so i asked for help to a friend.
He started to try to help me, but after a long reasoning we both stopped to understand what we were doing.
After a while, i've decided to run the code totally random and... it worked! And that's not all, it worked better than we were trying to do!
What a lucky shot😎
(Sorry if there are some errors, english isn't my first language)3
work with npm, node and angular is a totally mess, random errors every few minutes, you need to be lucky to find the right alignment of planets to make things works...cannot wait to go back to .net and vs8
Early on in my freelancing career I learned something important. Even with seemingly tame nerdy stuff, sh*t can get real, real quick. This story describes the very start of my career in web development and hopefully will serve as a warning to newbies out there.
A young teen, I had just learned some basics of wordpress, I was confident I could hack together something that worked and looked okay with minimal effort and knowledge. One day I was approached by a guy who wanted a job board board site. Knowing there were already clones out there I figured this would be an easy gig, man was I wrong.
In addition to the fact I didn't know about contracts or the scope creep from hell, I had somehow gotten myself involved with a criminal business front.
These guys operated a scam business to rip off investors. Me and my designer buddy were used to make the business look legit. What they would do is hold job fairs where people are supposed to pay to rent a booth, but instead they would give everyone a booth for free and then lie about what all businesses were coming. They would then show this info, along with the website and marketing materials to investors. They would take the money from the investors and launder it for drugs.
The real story starts the day of one of the worst hangovers I had ever had. I was at a random friends house sleeping for most of the day.
Apparently one of the guys who was operating the scam business was about to strike a deal with one of the investors when something on the website didn't work (it was working as designed). This guy, Manny we'll call him, had been blowing up my phone all morning. I check my voicemails and there are threats on my life; saying I will be sleeping with the fishes, or if they ever find me, they'll fuck me up. Needless to say this really freaked me out, either way I decided to head back to my dorm.
When I come back home, my designer buddy tells me that some guys were in the house looking for stuff. Apparently this guy hired two nerds to "break into my computer and steal the website", fortunately they didn't know what they were doing.
After a while I got another call, Manny wanted to sit down and "talk things out". Being naive I accepted and we met up. The two nerds were there with one of his body guards. He said he wanted to have those two nerds take over the project. While this was going on, his bodyguard flashed his gun at me several times making eye contact. I agreed to, but I still wanted to get paid. I asked about getting paid and he said we never signed a contract and that he owned the host and domain. I was pretty much screwed.
This is where the story should end, but I wasn't a very smart guy back then. I gave up the site but I created a back door into it. Every week or so, they would get "hacked". Because the two nerds didn't know what to do, they ended up coming back to me for help. This is when I finally got paid. Totally not worth it.
Universal rule of opening tickets
Me: *opens ticket on basically ANY ticketing system EVER* (could be internal, from the customer, some random bug online, anything...).
Me: writes detailed explanation of issue, because I know working on tickets is hard. Of course I include that I tried steps A, B, C, and that I haven't been able to do D because of reasons.
Ticket derp: Comments...
"Hey, have you already tried A, B, C? Also you should totally do D first."
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? I TAKE TIME OUT OF MY FUCKING DAY TO WRITE THIS SHIT DOWN AND EVEN FORMAT IT NICELY, JUST TO MAKE YOUR MISERABLE LIFE EASIER, AND YOU DON'T EVEN READ IT YOU WORTHLESS LITTLE BALLSACK!? FUCK OFF!1
somehow the time period of 3-6 months is the burning point for me in every company. previously i thought its because i was an intern or i was at college, but now all thee factors are removed, i am an sde1 but still feeling exhausted.
initially i was treated as company's favourite kid. 2 different seniors would assign tasks to me , those tasks would be very straight forward and they would be like "hey ywtf , your task is this, this will make cause this behavior. you have to check file abc line 111 and change this value to this."
everything was a breeeze. but slowly the independence came. I got enrolled to a jira board. i started getting tickets for totally random parts of codes that i never touched before. my senior had left, so other guys and tech leads were my only hope. they would explain me very briefly about the old code only, like say i had a task on payments, then all i would get to know will be what our payments systems are and which folder to check (a folder could have 15-20 files).
moreover my code was rarely checked before merging. so if qa said my code's working fine, it will get merged. Our QAs are idk good or bad, but it has always been like, the bugs for a particular task in a particular sprint are being identified and raised at 3 or 4 sprints later.
I am feeling extra responsible and unsupervised. We have these streams where i am one more guy( whose senior than me, but does not behave like senior at all) are the only 2 devs for mobile.
I used to be happy picking tasks of various unknown sections ,like payments , authentication, architecture etc, but now i feel scared because i am going to work on a task for 10 days and then i will be responsible for this forever. they would redirect all bugs and tasks related to that feature to me, the guy who gained knowledge about it by random exploration and without supervision.
and all of this is making me feel shit. i need some fucking relaxation16
I found programming really out my focus. Initially when i was exposed to it, My friend showed me a code of C and C++ and i was like it looks so untidy and annoying like colons and semicolons in between of random text sentences. In my first semester i had this Programming course of C and C++ and i had to deal with it. The lab sessions were totally bouncers for me, i cant understand any anything. During writeup submissions i used to copy someone else’s code (Yeah, i wrote down the whole code with a pen on a paper including every syntax). Writing down codes gave an idea about the flow of code, i didnt knew what was really happening in the alogorithm but atleast i can understand which is used for what. I also used to copy Flow diagrams of code so i used check both of them side by side and try to link. This helped me atleast to begin with and deal with that course. As semesters incremented coding was more of a need in every course. And i started liking it.☺️☺️
Initially i didn’t had wifi at home so i was totally unaware about youtube tutorials and courses. The only typing of code was done in the lab sessions.
This was my first experience regarding coding.
What was yours?
Even though I bought Prime for cord-cutting now whenever I need to buy something I have an urge to just buy from Amazon because I feel like I'm making back what I paid since shipping is now free 2-day for anything and 5% cash back...
And when you search for anything, there's usually 1 result that's like Amazon Choice and I see there's a price huge price cut...
But in the back of my mind, I stop and think does this make sense. Could be cheaper elsewhere? Are these deals really deals...
And that $120 was for video and I'm pretty sure Amazon is not losing money no matter how many orders I make our how much I "save"....
And why am I even trying to make back X by doing Y....
Yes totally random but thoughts, how do you think about this?7
I have a file manager that's only halfway done. While I'm working on it, I'm using the features it already has to create files for other parts of the project so I don't waste like 30 seconds copy-pasting the usual boilerplate. Totally reasonable.
Now, there is no delete button in the barebones UI. There is a function for deleting files or entire directories, I can call these manually by printing, of all things. $:NUKE DIR;> is weird enough that I wouldn't write it by accident. But there is no buttons for these things. Because there is no checking, no "are you sure" type safeguard. And I don't trust myself to remember.
There IS one safeguard however. The manager will refuse to delete a folder identified as the source directory of a project. But everything INSIDE /src/ is fair game. And so I realize, this a stupid safeguard that does nothing. I can't accidentally delete the whole folder but I can accidentally delete each subfolder one by one.
So I disable deleting of files through the manager until I figure this out. It's not hard. I could just sneak a getch in there and call it a day. But I need the UI to be painfully obvious about what it's doing before it does anything, else I will screw myself over unknwingly at one point or another. It has happened before.
Meanwhile I'm working on three other fucking tasks and my brain is spaghetti. Commit message reads utter fucking mess, disdain for python has increased. I'm slowly hating it more and more. I need a minimal python version so I can build the build system. I need the build system to compile the manager. I need the manager to not go crazy shuffling libraries and listing files. But the manager isn't complete. Back to step one.
This is very much an endless, hardcoded depedency cycle until at least one piece is finished. Break the wheel. Or rather this monolithic piece of shit. I've gone rogue. No syntax highlighting and haven't checked documentation in weeks. I somehow know how all of this works and at the same time I don't. I wrote it, and THERE IS a function for that, I just can't find it. Debugger says error @KVNSL.RUN but I know it's actually buried deep within the asscracks of draw. One hack saved me five minutes of thinking through the implementation and now I am paying the price.
$:ADDITEM TEST;> but the linewrap is broken. Again. I am drawing out of bounds. I know what's the problem, let me scroll for five minutes real quick so I can copy paste this ridiculous fix from an unrelated file I forgot about until now. How do you like that, you fuck. Look, there's that call I commented six weeks ago in case the new system was worse, maybe I haven't decided yet, except I have. I should delete it but I'm leaving it there for posterity. Look son, that's the useless fucking zombie method your grandad was too much of a wanker to get rid of, still there to this day.
Breaktime. Eat, drink. Random find a video of myself fucked on rum and alkokayine holding an electric guitar with my knees and pulling on the broken strings to produce artsy noise as I convulse on the floor in a den of evil. Huh. Guess I used to be pretty fucking rock n roll. But does that make me a literal rockstar programmer I don't fucking think so. Rockstar is a weird, corny-ass language. Eighties are greasy and I prefer my shit mid colon. This is not making a lot of sense, and I have not misplaced my pills again. I don't think so.
More likely I'm just losing my mind here. So tired I can't sleep. Or so bored entertainment isn't entertaining. About a month since I turned 27. Check devrant before bed. Spicy content. Satisfaction.
Lie in bed. My code is nightmare fuel and it chases me in my dreams. Finish this feature before venturing off into the goblins cave, there is a genderfluid mustardbag cryptogargle baggle baggle at line 8 through your fucking momma; critical failure. Last night you did me so dirty soon as I ran downstairs it was thirty wide pages worth of endless turdlicking logs, the cache you flushed, unexpected EOF but no sweat it's just a bad escape\\. But I'll always be your slave keyboard monkey, bitch. Now come fix my leaks, you fuck.2
When you start a download and suddenly your pc shut off. I hate so much when the electric source is interrupted totally random2
My very first computer had a bunch of CDs with tons of random freeware, shareware and demos. One of these happened to be an awesome graphics demo called Second Reality from Future Crew ( https://youtu.be/rFv7mHTf0nA check it out! ).
This demo was the reason I became addicted to programming back in the days and I started with QBasic, Power Basic, Pascal, assembler using MSDOS "debug" command (worst assembler out there!), and several strange C dialects like C-- (I found it hard to get hands on affordable compilers and totally missed Linux until several years later).
Delphi and Visual Basic accompanied me quite some time until I finally found the language which perfectly met my needs until today : C++
This was all way before I started to study ☺️1
Whenever I laugh about these engineers who can only 'code' in Matlab...
Whenever I hear people consider configuring (of stuff like WordPress or RGB-Keyboard-Lights etc.) as 'programming'...
I wonder, if I'm just like the 'Real Programmers' back in 1983 who truly considered Fortran or Assembly to be much more superior than Pascal and someone who coded in the latter or even used a simple OS like UNIX couldn't get accepted as a programmer.
Found that old article about "Real Programmers".
It's worth a read.
Just consider someone writing modern computer programs without libraries, ifs, for loops and only gotos by hand from top to bottom...
Some day I want to start some modern project everyone else would do in some random modern scripting language and hack it down in assembly just for fun and to tell people, I did it. So I could call myself a Real Programmer too.2
Some random weird shit is happening with my Facebook account, I'm getting 2 - 3 new friend requests per hour and I'm not even a celebrity yet, or am I? But seriously what the fuck is that shit, I don't know half the people adding me up and they either have just a profile photo and two posts or are just totally inactive.
Remember that time I said I was lonely and wanted a new clique of friends? I wasn't asking for anything like this.
This is just so fucking annoying and if I get one more of these requests I'll be deactivating this account forever.
*angry faced emoji goes here*2