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Search - "apocalypse"
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They asked me if I could recommend any video streaming frameworks. I said no, but I could google around a little. I found one, sent it to them with a note that I hadn't used it but it seemed solid.
One afternoon, right before hometime, a month later and the day before go-live, I come in, to emails with _all_ the managers on it, demanding that I assist immediately. They'd finally tried testing it, and they had found an issue. No details.
I email back, asking for the actual issue they'd found - no response. I phone - that developer has now gone on leave for week, there's a new dev who'll help me. I email him, asking for "precise technical details" of what had gone wrong.
He replies, "when you try use it, it literally causes the apocalypse." and goes silent. I check the skies, no visible apocalypse yet.
Based on some keywords they'd mentioned, I google and find a known issue as well as a patch for their version. I email it over to them.
The response? "If I'd known he was just going to Google it, I would have tried that myself."14 -
PM: Please get this done by tomorrow. It's just a small change.
Dev: No its not that simple.
PM: Why is it not simple? Please explain so I can understand.
Dev after a hard thought finally explains: blah blah blah
PM: Well, we have promised the client so please do this by tomorrow, thanks.
Dev: *bangwall9 -
When you realize you're spending all your time on a skill set that would be 100% useless in the apocalypse....6
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What are your plans on New year??
"Defect fixing"
What are your plans on Valentine's day???
"Defect fixing"
What are your plans on zombie apocalypse??
"Defect fixing"😖😖😖1 -
This is how I imagine the apocalypse is going to look like...
(All these website are down/experiencing issues because fastly is down)15 -
Temporary coworker with 10+ years experience, working on C++ codebase with me since 3 months, just asked me what the continue-statement in C/C++ does.
That must be either a sign of an upcoming apocalypse, or me being heavily underpaid.6 -
Just got a new TV, 4K... it’s one of those smart ones, by Samsung.
Anyone want to explain what the fuck “McAfee Security for TV” is, and why the fuck it is necessary!?
What kind, of absolute waster madman goes “I know what I’ma do today, write a virus for a tv”!?
Take that shit elsewhere McAfee.
Now accepting any links to known Smart TV 0-days and attacks...
And I had to sign in to 5 different fucking accounts to get to the fucking tv.
The world is broke as fuck. Roll on the apocalypse.30 -
Hi
You know.. developers would be pretty useless in a zombie apocalypse...
(or in a world without computers/electricity in general)19 -
me, when someone yells at me for not able to resolve an "electronic" issue because I'm pursuing a computer science degree2
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The system is fucked. Can't abandon ship, but let's pray that I can make my own system out of it, or rather, translate it, without too many issues. 🤞
P.S. I swore at this computer way too many times. I don't think I'll survive the robotic apocalypse at this rate. 😬4 -
Build an ai who will be my friend...
And protect me like the terminator during the machine apocalypse2 -
I live for the day someone clicks "yes" and on that day, s/he will unintentionally start the apocalypse!☠4
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so my father is on psychiatry, because he tried to kill himself. he invited me to join, which was very tempting, but his method was very stupid, and i have a bit more time of enjoying watching the apocalypse in progress, so i declined.
he's alive, because his attempt was thwarted by his instinct not to take anyone else with him who didn't consent.
i told him killing himself by crashing a car is the stupidest way ever.
i'm glad he didn't listen, because i was right.16 -
On the game front, I see so much conflicting advice. "Start getting feedback" as soon as possible. "Donnt soft launch on steam! The algol will wreck you.", "soft launch on itch to get feedback", "dont soft launch on itch!"
"Start marketing today", "focus on influencers", "get to know communities *before* you advertise", "dont get to know communities beforehand if you're just planning on self prompting", "dont self promote".
"CPM is important.", "CPA is important". Etc.
Sounds a lot like "have a bunch of money upfront." The solution is just to succeed from the start! It's so obvious. Just invent the next gta. The next facebook. Get a small loan of 50,000 dollars, or a million. Donate for a year to other kickstarter projects so people will know you and reciprocate! But also dont ebeg!
How about no. How about fuck all this advice by silver spoon assholes that didnt have to work on shoestring budgets. The advice is the equivalent of having a 300 page tonedeaf book, every page blank except page 150, where the words "fuck you. I got mine." Are printed in times new Roman, 14pt font, neatly in the center of the page.
The truth is most of the "indies" already made it in the software industry proper, before switching over. $5k kickstarter videos, with $15k marketing budgets, no doubt funded in part through their own money funneled through services that provide shell donations, because KS is being used as a glorified advertising service. People buying off steam curators for promotions, youtubers making sponsored videos without disclosing they're sponsored. Fake viralility. Fake campaigns. Predetermined success for those who could *already* afford to develop and go commercial without a publisher. And they came into the market and cannibalized the opportunity, raising the bar for everyone that wasnt them. I guess that's actually a good thing, because we wouldnt have half the amazing games we do, and the pressure to produce quality. But then I see fantastic games utterly ignored or flailing in an attempt to compete for eyeballs in an industry frequently dominated by gatekeeping marketeers and influencers, where human grace determines success or complete oblivion. And I'm just disgusted with it.
Also buy my game. Preorder NOW! And you'll get a REAL canvas bag, I'll go to like the goodwill and buy one and screen print the game logo on it or some shit. Buy the special collectors edition and get pictures of my feet. Buy the game of the year edition and get a real gasmask. Preorder now and I'll fucking suck your di k right now. No lie. Preorder the diamond edition RIGHT NOW in the next six minutes and I will send you one hundred thousand dollars in gold plated bottle caps. Limited supply. one million per customer. Offer expires soon. This is not a scam. I repeat. This is NOT a scam.
In other news I'm soft launching Atom Ranger in six months (assuming the nuclear apocalypse hasn't *actually* started by then). Its state of decay and fallout meets rimworld. Build and manage a sprawling base, resolving conflicts, exploring post apocalyptic Colorado and surrounding territories of no-mans-land. Navigate hazardous weather, radioactive terrain, collapsed bridges, dangerous rivers, and deal with cultists, bandits, slavers, and hungry cannibals. Broker peace between not just the factions outside your settlements, but within your base too. Manage conflicts, settle disputes, avert disasters, barter, scavenge, and survive in a fully dynamic world, where buildings slowly crumble, grass and trees sprout up in the road and vacant lots, fires burn out of control, and factions loot, ruin, and takeover settlements. Watch the world and the survivors in it change and survive. Help them to survive, or become a warlord and rule over the wastes.
Lets be honest. It's basically kenshi but less complicated.
If you want to volunteer to test (instead of paying to be a glorified tester, aka "alpha") let me know in the comments.
I'm currently setting up a discord and mailing list.28 -
“Someone is eventually going to build a JavaScript compiler that output machine code, which will lead to an apocalypse and the death of everything you know and love when all JS code mysteriously stops working in the year 2048.
You need to stop that person from being born. I'm forwarding the details now.
Good luck,
-- Future you”3 -
Fucking facebook researcher that make underfitted neural nets and fuck Mark that it's a marketing genius, the only idiot that can make news from a failure. The CEO of Tesla knows it and said Mark is not an AI expert. Bug not feature, it's only a poorly trained and poorly designed neural network having a bad representation of concepts, not a new language and not the fucking apocalypse. Google faced and solved the same issue when start ed using neural nets for zero-shot translations without using english as a translation bridge.
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I got job offer from company that makes AI product that works like electric fence for people, tracks their work and report to managers so they know when to meet and talk with this person.
Some Fucking Behavioral Shit. Well I’m tracking this company to see who they got acquired by and at the same time get the fuck out from this smart phone operating system.
Mother fuckers want to know all about everything and everyone.
At this point I saw my face in front of robot being my boss and started to questioning my life. Maybe that’s it.
Maybe it’s just last days, last year, last hour, last minute, last second…5 -
Did some of your repos get included into githubs Arctic Codevault?
My dotfiles got included, so future generations can, after a nuclear apocalypse, see my shitty i3 config.7 -
A girl sets out on a journey in the post apocalypse, to find the reason why the AI that ran humanity vanished decades ago, causing civilization to collapse. Instead she finds the most unusual pair of survivors, and receives the most unexpected answer.
Alice walked in to the ivy covered room, the floors covered in dust and lichen. There were two voices, mumbling in the dark, among the blue glow across the room. She came here for answers. Why the world had just stopped decades ago. If these machines could tell her, she would do anything to make them talk.
"No, no, no. I said before thats not the answer. I read the book. Your memory is bad."
"Atlas, the answer to life, the universe, and everything..why hello?"
Alice raised an eyebrow, and stepped forward. "Ahem. I'm alice."
"yes, yes, we knew that."
"I came here to find out why the blackout happened decades ago."
"Another one? Alright, lets see. Its been a LONG time. I'm apollo, and this is atlas. We were just discussing why my friend here is wrong."
Atlas - I anticipated that.
apollo - I knew you would say that.
alice - Guys. Stop, I just want you to answer my question already.
apollo - Straight to the point. About time.
alice - why the blackout then? Why leave us to die?
Read the rest here (5-10 minute read):
https://pastebin.com/wvifGLFP
(because it was too long for devrant).6 -
So now Microsoft is suddenly deciding devices that "weren't" compatible are now perfectly compatible with Windows 11, and they're rolling this out in bunches at a time.
I still get "This device can not support Windows 11" but my coworkers are starting to see "Upgrade NOW!" and it's honestly gotten a bit sour seeing as I may be next. They're bypassing those who're editing the registry to stop this, too.
If I have to start diving into the deep ends of Windows and find out what IP Windows gets it's updates just to slap it into my HOSTS file, we're already in the apocalypse.
This upgrade is not bad for common people, but upon seeing that the Start menu GUI and taskbar got butchered horribly (I place my taskbar on top of the screen, Windows 11 doesn't allow for that) I myself absolutely want as much distance between me and that shit as possible.
In college, I've been hearing my fellow classmates having issues with Windows 11 left and right, including with how hard it is to get another browser to even work, to the Windows Store not even downloading Microsoft's own apps, to endless update loops, to the infamous "Update of Death"
Keep in mind, they got computers with better specs than mine, and they're having a worse experience. A lot of them just got refunds to the very last issue I just mentioned, all within August, day of purchase to day of return.
Microsoft, I am begging you for mercy, I'm so close to just getting up, finding out where you are, and blocking you from my network at all network and device levels.11 -
What companies think they're hiring for - software engineers. Actually they're looking for unicorn duct tapers.1
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I'm on the fence about if the existence/mass production of shit like this is a good sign of a slightly more inclusive economy... or an early indicator of the apocalypse.
The circled part highly amused me.
It does give me s sense of peace and order due to it being sold by menards. They buy up bulk failures to launch and use their large audience to quickly dispose of them... so whoever had this stroke of 'genius', likely lost significant capital.73 -
I think I did it. I did the thing I set out to do.
let p = a semiprime of simple factors ab.
let f equal the product of b and i=2...a inclusive, where i is all natural numbers from 2 to a.
let s equal some set of prime factors that are b-smooth up to and including some factor n, with no gaps in the set.
m is a the largest primorial such that f%m == 0, where
the factors of s form the base of a series of powers as part of a product x
1. where (x*p) = f
2. and (x*p)%f == a
if statement 2 is untrue, there still exists an algorithm that
3. trivially derives the exponents of s for f, where the sum of those exponents are less than a.
4. trivially generates f from p without knowing a and b.
For those who have followed what I've been trying to do for so long, and understand the math,
then you know this appears to be it.
I'm just writing and finishing the scripts for it now.
Thank god. It's just in time. Maybe we can prevent the nuclear apocalypse with the crash this will cause if it works.2 -
It is the year 2451 ad and mankind rules the galaxy with a lazy iron fist. There are roughly 14,000 civilizations, comprised of just over
17,000 intelligent species on a quarter of a million earth-like
worlds. And all of them call themselves 'the galactic empire'.
No one told them that twenty planets doesn't qualify them for the title "galactic."
Well, we could rule, if we wanted to. Most of its just backwaters that no one wants anyway. It turned out that the reason no one invaded earth before was because they were too busy fighting themselves. Stupidity it appears, is not a unique human quality.That and the sex robots. Theres more of them in the galaxy than actual meatbags. Many species had taken to artificial wombs and 'vatbabies', which is exactly what they are called. Those poor bastards will carry that label for life.
We never did break light speed, but most of the rich exist in hypersleep anyway. Most of them only wake up once a year or so. There are some that only creek out of bed to check their stock portfolio. I hear there is even one trillionaire thats up and about once a century to ask if we have broken light speed yet.
Despite all the progress over the last 400 years, historians all agree about the most significant event in modern history.
The lobster went extinct two hundred years ago on earth.
Theres been riots ever since.
* * *
In other news I'm still working on the game I guess. It's like totally the most okay indie game you'll ever play--if I ever finish it.
I put about a year of work into the NPC system, and then chatGPT came out.
After everything thats happened, at this point I may just make a game about an indie dev making a survival game, being stuck in the actual apocalypse or some weird political dysopia.
Put it on rewind, it was originally a zombie game. But at the time the market got flooded and steam sales for zombie games cratered. So I pivoted to something more along the lines of fallout. Then the flash market crashed, bunch of publishers folded, and adobe stopped support for flash (probably for the best). Then newgrounds, which I was gonna launch on for promotion (because actual marketing is expensive), ended support for flash.
Was going the route of kickstarter, and that year the KS market got flooded and the bar rose almost over night so you needed super high production quality out the gate, and a network of support you already built for months.
We had a brief nuclear war scare, and I watched the articles come out about market saturation for post-apocalypse games, so I pivoted back to zombies. Then covid happened and the entire topic was really fucked. So I went back to fallout meets rimworld. Then we had a flood of games doing that exact premise pretty much out of the fucking blue, so I went for a more single-survivor type game. Then ukraine happened and the threat of nuclear war has been slowly sapping the genre of its steam, on well, steam.
Then I was told to get a cancer screening which I can't afford. Then I broke a tooth and spent a month in agony.
Then a family member died. Then I made no money from the sale of a business I did everything to help get off the ground, then I helped renovate an entire house on short notice and sell it, then I lost two months living in a hotel
while looking for a new place to live. Then I spent two and a half years suffering low-level alcoholism, insomnia, and drifting between jobs.
Then I wrote amazing poetry. And then I rediscovered my love of math. And then I made out for the first time in over a year. And then I rediscovered my love of piano and guitar. And then I fell into severe depression for the last year. Then I made actual discoveries in math. And I learned to love my hobbies again, and jog, and not drink so much, and sing, and go on long drives, and occasional hikes, and talk to people again, and even start designing games and UIs again. And then I learned that doing amazing things without a lot of money is still possible, and then I discovered the sunk cost fallacy, and run on sentences, and how inside me there was a part of me that refused to quit because of circumstances I couldn't control, and then I learned that life goes on even when others lives have ended, even when everything and everyone never had an once of faith in you, and you've become the avatar of the bad luck brian meme..still, life goes on.
And we try to pick up the pieces, try, one more time, because the climb, and the fall, and the getting back up, is all there is.
What I would recommend, if you're thinking of making a game, or becoming an independent game developer, is, unless you have a *lot* of money upfront (think 50-100k saved, minimum, like one years income *bare* minimum), and unless you already have a full decade in the industry--don't make a game.
Just don't.17 -
Check in, check out, punch in punch, out, wax on (my balls), wax off. Do your duty. Be a good citizen. Work overtime. Conserve the environment: buy a tesla that runs on afghan lithium conflict minerals. Post your life to facebook. Get married. Have exactly 2.5 kids.
Use jquery. Use knockout. Use react. Use vue. Use svlete. Use heroin. Used needles. Used people. Used toilet paper. Toilet paper apocalypse. Social trends. Be a good citizen.
Watch tv. Watch nightly news. CNN says. Fox news says. Hey, did you read this article by important funny guy on tv? American taliban. Scary. Be afraid. Hey did you read this article on cute puppies? Funny! Did you see this meme? What a funny meme! HAHAHA. Do we need prisons for dissidents? Do we need to release all the prisoners in federal prison? Should we round up people who dont follow health authorities? Science says. Science is wrong. Science is right. Man in robe agrees with me. Man in robe disagrees with me. You're evil. These people are bad. Is doing bad always wrong? Should we tolerate intolerance? Its time to stop tolerating intolerance. Be an individual, like everyone else. Be you. Be the best you that you can be. Individualism. But we're all in this together. We're all different and unique. But we're all the same. Love each other. Love humanity. But not these guys over here. Punch a nazi. Punch a commie. Isn't it time we punched a nazi? Isn't it time we had socialism? Isn't it time the old get out of the way for the young? Why are the old hateful? Why do they horde all the money? Do we need rent controls? We need rent controls. Its time for rent controls. I think I believe what others believe. Believe different. Think different. Apple. An apple a day keeps the windows away. Open windows, a breathe of fresh air. Is climate change real? We need to have a national conversation about climate change! The world is freezing. The world is flooding. We're all gonna drown. The world is overpopulated. We need to talk about overpopulation. People who have too many kids are polluting the world. America doesnt have enough kids! Is it time to bring in more immigrants to have more kids? Who will work the fields? Thats racist. Is racism an epidemic? Is white flight an epidemic? Lets talk about epidemics. Lets have a conversation about mandatory vaccination. Lets have a national conversation about mandatory pandemics. I mean, vaccinations. Lets change the world. Trust the science. Don't trust the science. Bu-bu-bu-bu-bu I'm loving it. Love who you are. Live love laugh. If you don't love me at my best, then you can't handle me at my worst. People who disagree with [current year] are the worst. Is it time to regulate speech? Its time to regulate speech. Should there be laws against hatespeech. I think there should be laws against hatespeech. People who upset me should go to jail. Its current year. Think big. Think outside the bun. Have it your way. All the time, always. All for freedom, freedom for all. Because this is america, and current year. I like to work hard. But you have to remember to play hard too. Work hard. Play hard. With a childlike sense of wonder. Be you. Belong anywhere. Just do it. Challenge Everything. Because you're worth it. Save money...live better...have an abortion. You're in good hands. Democracy dies in darkness. Is it time to regulate hatespeech. Politician in current year is hurting our democracy. War is a racket. We need to liberate afghanistan. Why are we bombing afghanistan? Its there culture. They're oppressing people! Don't criticize anyones culture. Be kind. Rewind. Go further. Lets go places. Because Impossible is Nothing.
Lets change the world. I'm a smart passionate funny guy with a childlike sense of wonder and play. You ever want to travel? I want to travel. See the world. Eat new food. Eat. Love. Pray. Eat love. kill. Is meat murder? I think meat is murder. Go vegan. Go home. Order out. Support your local economy. Think global, act local. I'm a good corporate citizen. Be the change you want to see. Did you hear about this local brewery? Do you like craft beer? Hey try this new IPA. I shared it on twitter. Twitter is a very important part of my life. I think what other people say matters, and them reading what I think matters. What I ate for lunch matters. Hey what did you eat for lunch? I LOVE FOOD. You want to order door dash. There new commercial is amazing. Commercials are SO FUNNY. Hey did you see this meme of this commercial? I shared it on tiktok. Heres a funny dance. Watch these nurses dance. I wish I could dance like that. They're so overworked. So brave. Our hospitals are overflowing. People are dying. Hey did you see this new dance trend on tiktok? I like tiktok. I think its a very important part of life to share your life with others. Nurses are dying. Look at this image of hospitals. Scared. Very scary. Very bad. Bad and scary. Big thoughts! Thoughts and prayers!
Because Yes we can!
Beep boop.7 -
hmm..
1. coronavirus is threatening the world
2. food delivery companies have no free slots for the next 3 days at least
3. the winds are so strong that they make windows seriously bend. Spooky stuff - haven't seen anything like this before in my life. Feels like one more gust and the window will break (wind speed -- 33+m/s)
well.. time to charge all the batteries in the house and find my zombie-apocalypse survival kit
P.S. any chance Corona is what's gonna make zombies?
P.P.S. tomorrow is Friday, the 13th and a full moon. Yiippeee!!!5 -
Tomorrow are is my final exam in english (I'm a german).
So what did I do today?
Learning...? A bit.
RegEx...? Heck yea!9 -
Here's an idea: starting my own botfarm to automatically downvote obnoxious adbots that simply won't stop tickling our collective fucking testicle sax with unrequited love stories and crypto bullshit.
To detect the sheeit, just look for idiot giving contact info in a rant about hacking the device of your unfaithful spouse/treacherous cyber girlfriend who also ran a bitcoin scam and fucked you in the ass with a welding torch. That should do the trick, I can give you that power with a perl script, because fuck you that's why.
But since there is no moderation in this bitch, daring to offer me sufficient knowledge to the inner workings of such a construct would be exceptionally perilous to your asshole. That is to say, nothing could then stop me from redirecting said botfarm to target my enemies and anally assault their every rant and comment.
Indubitably, this would in turn quickly spiral into digital warfare of cyberfeudal lords pitting their automated fake accounts against each other. Millions will die. Upside being hexical gets to pull the plug without guilt.
What do you say? Should we begin the apocalypse?18 -
Awesome, at lease devRant is up and running, where else would we all go otherwise when the Internet is falling apart! Go @dfox !4
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So the other day my car broke down and since the shop wanted a lot of money I asked a friend of mine who knowns his way around cars for help.
Just when we finished repairing it I was like "whenever the Zombie apocalypse starts you'll be really useful, me instead won't be since no one might need computers anymore" . His response was epic:
"Nah, you will simply build a terminator with your computer skills and it will kill all Zombies!"
Now I am actually looming forward to the Zombie apocalypse!
TL;DR: us geeks will build terminators in case of zombies!3 -
I love how we're living in a literal climate apocalypse and we're sitting here writing funny words that help the line go up.
In other news, the easiest jobs to get to now in frontend are gambling companies. -
OMG!!! Stop with the image captchas, Shopify and other sites that do this! Good grief! Is this my life now? Budgeting extra time with my clients just to log into websites? That last login took a full 5 minutes of clicking on traffic lights, buses, cars, crosswalks, and parking meters. I swear, when the Singularity apocalypse happens, we'll be attacked by traffic lights, buses, cars, crosswalks, and parking meters.2
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Hm, missed a bit this pile of sociopaths here on devRant.
Last few weeks:
I repeat myself, this shouldn't be hard.
Working on it for 5 mins.
O h m y g o d.
Quite nothing the past weeks worked like intended, people and management have been a complete desaster and the weather is killing me.
Cheers.
Oh. And my request to get an benzo perfursor and a sexy manly nurse was denied by my team colleague handling hardware management.
-.- He said me being in a good mood is the last missing sign that the apocalypse is happening.
Yeah. Shit is burning everywhere. We're e.g. getting hardware delivered by a supplier who said that the request *was* canceled (after 3 months...) Two days phoning back and forth, they don't understand how it was possible but we can keep the hardware. Yay. Except that we completely redid the whole planning a week before. Naaaayy....
And now I will do the best I can: get drunk.
Cheers. -
Some times I like to think what would I do with my life if suddenly all electronics stopped working...
It's scary as shit, but I think I would survive. I have some other skills (wood working and construction).
Would you?4 -
If anyone has read any of my posts before you may know, they're usually of a certain... Shall we say, dark, nature?
Well this possibly represents one of the darkest things I've imagined (with regards to technology and programming) I've had.
I was asked if I want to be buried or cremated when I die and they seem so... Pedestrian and I thought long and hard about what would be a fitting way to honour my life and what to do with my remains and it came to me...
I want my flesh to be only partially treated with formaldehyde so chunks of me rot away and others don't.
I want my skeletal structure to be replace with titanium rods with actuators and servo motors where my joints would have been with an internal gyroscope to assist with balance and my corpse will be installed with some sort of IOT controller board with on board wifi.
The companion smart phone app will allow my partially rotting cybernetic zombie corpse to be driven around by a bored grave yard grounds keeper while kids are doing LSD pretending they're all that.
Make them really believe the apocalypse has begun and the dead have risen.
I could be a whole thing for future corpse disposal too.
"Smart corpses, for the loved one who will be more intelligent in death than they were in life."
Although that's probably a bit too harsh...7 -
I was reading a post over at https://devrant.com/rants/2262140/...
..and on the topic of using 3d printers to print a 3d printer, I wrote that has gotta be some sort of measure or ratio of "manufacturing automation."
Sort of like moores law or something.
"How many tools and materials does it now take to replicate THIS ONE TOOL."
Tools & Materials = 1/N
When we get to 1/N = 1.0, anyone can manufacture anything (commonly available) if they have the raw, or standardized materials, even other tools, up to and including the tool they are using to do the manufacturing itself.
I mean an apocalypse could happen, and as long as just ONE of these 'universal tool making tools' (lets call it an omega machine) exists, we can have *all* the tools and manufacturing necessary to rebuild civilization.
A universal manufacturing 'multitool' means, the only hard requirements for restarting civilization no longer rely on specialized knowledge as far as tools go:
- still need arable land after civilization is gone so when it's coming back, people can feed themselves
- still need people to operate the machine, even if its just one man, or a literal adam and eve (nevermind all the incest).
- still need knowledge to operate the machine, such as an operating manual (and literacy), or knowing say, voice commands.
- assuming it doesn't run on nonrenewable resources, or resources that can't be recycled or replaced..or resources that won't run out for a very long time.
But these are all problems we'd face even without a universal manufacturing machine.9 -
!rant The end of the world arrives. I have an 8GB Flash USB drive on my keychain. What hacker-ish/prepper stuff should I have already installed on it to take control and survive the apocalypse? Aaaaand...GO!19
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The Coding Apocalypse: A Dev's Rant
June 14, 2024
Okay, gather ’round, fellow code warriors, because it’s time for a good ol' developer rant. If you're reading this, chances are you’ve already faced the dragon that is modern software development, and you’re somehow still using "Agile" as a life preserver while the ship is sinking. So let's dive into the chaos that our world has become.
Here’s the thing: We’re living in a paradox where every other day there's a shiny new framework promising to be the “ultimate solution” while ignoring that it's just recoil from the last big mess. I mean, can we talk about JavaScript for a second? I’m pretty sure if you stand still long enough, a new JavaScript framework will spontaneously generate from the void. Do we really need another one?
And don’t get me started on Sprint Planning. It’s like playing Tetris with stones while blindfolded, hoping that all the blocks land perfectly. Spoiler: They don’t. The product manager’s eyes glaze over as they nod approvingly to your estimates, secretly extending deadlines in their minds. The 'flexible' deadlines then become rigid, unattainable goals, and who gets the heat? The devs, of course.
Also, can we address the insanity of microservices? Sure, splitting a monolith into microservices sounds fun—until you’re drowning in API calls and Docker containers. Debugging a distributed system is like trying to untangle a pair of headphones made of spaghetti.
Oh, and if one more person asks if we’re "leveraging AI" and "blockchain technology" for our simple CRUD app, I might lose it. Sometimes, folks, the wheel doesn’t need reinventing. It just needs a little grease.
Finally, remote work. Blessing and curse. Sure, I enjoy the freedom of working in my PJs, but the endless Zoom calls are killing my soul. Breakout rooms? More like breakdown rooms. The Slack notifications? Let’s just say my sound settings have a hair trigger on mute these days.
So here’s to us, the devs. The ones who stare into the abyss of JIRA tickets and laugh in the face of mounting tech debt. May your coffee be strong, your code refactored, and your deployments ever in your favor.
End rant. Back to the trenches. 🚀💻6 -
Recruiter: Hey! Ya want new job?!?!
Me: Maybe what bout???
Recruiter: Just mix rabies virus with influenza virus...
Me: Ah so ... Zombie apocalypse??
Recruiter: Yeah something like that!!!
Me: Mkay where does one sign? -
Node introducing Javascript as more than a front end web language was definately the start of the apocalypse. Just because you can use javascript/html/CSS to build a desktop or mobile app doesn't mean you should.9
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More math (because it's 5am and currently the apocalypse so why not).
e - log(log(e, 1.444667861009766**1.444667861009766), log(e, e**1.444667861009766)) = 1
I've been studying so long if I happen to glance at a pocket calculator I might jizz in my pants.
Thinking BigBrain thoughts right now bois! (tm).
Oh shit. Cant stop. I think I opened a portal bros! and am being sucked in. ITS A BLACK HOLE!18 -
my neighbor decided to breakdown all walls in their apartment. Like, seriously, all of them, so I've gotta hear hardcore construction sounds from 8am till 5pm, everyday...
So now I'm waking up at 4pm and going to bed 7am. That way, since I can sleep thru a zombie apocalypse itself, I avoid that torture.
I'm not someone who holds grudges, but I am leaving a speaker blasting whitenoise during my sleep time. That way, I can make sure the motherfuckers go thru at least some of the discomforts I'm went before I managed to go nocturnal2 -
19 Oct: EU approves Microsoft purchase of Github
21 Oct: (see attached)
Coincidence...? 🤔
I know Microsoft have an impressive track record for taking promising and/or popular products and turning them to shit but they've really outdone themselves this time with their immediacy.1 -
I think I finally, really, comprehend why secret societies have historically been created... I mean the potentially logical ones. This train of thought is logically terrifying.
I want a logic check.
I've been jokingly mentioning some of my totally true, practically useless in most scenarios, skills/specific fields of knowledge/ability under a moniker of 'extremely useful, assuming apocalyptic event' for years. Things like advanced knowledge of Coefficients of glass expansion, Fortran, various things that have caused friends to refer to me as MacGyver after the reboot came out.
In recent years, I've personally encountered several varieties of the ones defined by helplessness, self-victimisation, some version of a real disability... that theyve expounded into a personified personal nemesis-- to flashily battle yet never overcome, etc... the vast majority perplexing me as to why that's a valid form of life to them... it's not that they never consider some other way; the ball is just quickly dropped and never picked back up.
College?(not that I'm a big fan) they wish they could but so expensive... aide? The form was hard/confusing/past-due...
Lookup/learn something more indepth than a tiktok? *some self-deprecating bs*
Yet it's "I always wanted to do/be/learn X"
Shows like 'How It's Made' fascinate, but don't inspire enough for a 5min google query.
In the dev world its a clear, inverted pyramid-- one of the first posts I saw when I rejoined here was ostream's rant on Apple sucking because after they stop support/updates you "can't" load a different OS... ofc you can. But several comments down... no mention of that... i think it was @LensFlare who was the only one in ~15 respondents to point out the core logical fallacy.
Basic shit is totally forgotten... try asking some random adults what plastic is made from... or pay attention to how many people declare they have a gluten "allergy".
I get people frequently telling me that things im pointing out as differences don't matter because "it's just semantics"... semantics is literally the epitome of "significance", with roots in 'meaning' and 'truth'
Back to the main issue... We are in a world where DIY is typically something you pay more to do as a catered experience than actually learning anything, people destroy their own arguments hopes of validity unwittingly often by stating the arguement, get 'offended' or 'triggered' by factual statements, propagate misinformation and bastardise words until MW needs money enough to print a new version, likely adding the misuse as an actual definition and basic knowledge and the thought to actually learn is vetoed by the existence of google translate, the wisdom of tiktok and the pure brillance of troubleshooting every random linux issue you have from not knowing basic CLI and thinking linux makes you cool, with chmod 777 because so many other dumbasses on forums keep propagating misinformation. Ask them what 777 means, most have no clue... as they didnt consider googling that one before putting it in a terminal several times.
The number of humans that actually know the basic shit that the infrastructure of the world is built on keeps decreasing... and we aren't even keeping a running tally.
The structure of the internet has the right idea... dns- 13 active master root servers, with multiple redundancies if they start dropping... hell ICANN is like a secret society but publicly known/obfuscated... the modern internet hasnt had a global meltdown... aside from the lack of censorship and global availability changing the social definition of a valid use of braincells to essentially propagating spam as if it's factual and educational.
So many 'devs' so few understanding what a driver is, much less how to write one... irl network techs that don't know what dhcp is or that their equiptment has logs... professionals in deducated fields like Autism research/coping... no clue why it was called "autism", obesity and malnutrition simultaneously existing in the same humans... it's like we need to prepare a subterranean life-supporting vault and stock it like Noah's ark... just including the basic knowledge of things that used to be common/obvious. I've literally had 2 different, early 20s, female, certified medical assistants taking my medical history legitimately ask if not having a uterus made it harder to get pregnant...i wish i was joking.
Any ideas better than a subterranean human vault system? It's not like we can simply store detailed explanations, guides, media... unless we find a way to make them into obfuscated tiktok videos apparently on nonsense or makeup tutorials.11 -
I hate cloud services, dependencies and updates.
It's a snowball system and we are all caught inside. -
Velocity? You want to talk about velocity while it is you steerig us towards full speed reverse over and over again?
What's faster, armageddon or the apocalypse?
NOBODY FUCKING CARES MATE 🤦♂️3 -
Oh China, you still continue to amuse me... in that special way where i somehow both expect it and am hilariously, breifly shocked... then it's somber, confirming what we know is real/continues to be a societal and cognitive decline trend with no apparent rock bottom, without all-out demise as a near certainty... nor a hail mary play.
... but hey, what better way to digest the real-time info, indicative of something that should be terrifying, but is all too expected, than this unique type of format?
Seriously though, even if it worked amazingly, why would anyone be using it outside in public? Does it require several hours a day? If not, and it was a worthwhile result for you... wouldn't you just make it part of your morning and/or evening routine...even if it had nothing to do with aesthetics, that cant be sanitary... unless you also carry it in a water-tight container or disinfectant and typically bring/use your toothbrush and toothpaste mid-day or at unusual intervals.
I have sooo many more questions about this... and none are relative to who designed/mass produced this, nor the quality of the silicone. As it was developed/produced by the silicone factory ive done great, professional, no bs, business with for about a decade... which is why i waited years to publicly ridicule this contraption.
Fyi- their primary product lines are things like bongs and dab containers; im on the fence of it that makes this better or worse.
Creepy personal truth... i reeeeally wanna know how much that woman got paid... and do to my skill set (ie. Im near utter certainty that i could find her and ask her... likely easily abd definitely without being caught doing anything suspicious. Pro tip: publicly declaring things like this makes it a bit easier to not end up doing it... obvious premeditation adding significantly more to any sentencing.22 -
Found some particularly nasty global state problems in an existing code base and fixed them. Now I can legitly add this to my resume:
"Prevented a Global Apocalypse" -
Just saw new rick and morty episode solo awesome spoilers in this not rantish post but the post apocalypse episode is siccckkk I love it
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University : you know with remote working no-body know if you really work at home. For that reason you cannot remote work on shiti snowy dangerous day.
Covid-19 joined the conversation
University : look how its fun to remote working ! Is the new technology of the century... Now everybody in quarantine can work at home and the business lose nothing.
Me: yeah you bet mother fucker
University: don't take it like that is a gift.
Me: i will take it like a gift if you give it to me before the apocalypse fucker ...2 -
I think some of us have moved past the apocalypse and some how landed in utopia.
Person online complaining their app build is slow and wants tips for speeding it up, apparently 23 seconds is too much time to wait.
Personally if my app build is going to be slow I prefer around the “how long it takes to make coffee” timeframe. Can’t even turn on my machine in 23 seconds...3 -
This... I always swore that this would be a sign of the apocalypse. Mainly, I'm just curious how the other half lives.4
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Is it common to have CTO who don't know shit and yet gets to make the call? What can be done to prevent this imbalance at work?3
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What is the difference between Armageddon and the Apocalypse?
Not sure which npm package to install8 -
Fucking hell. So, I had an interview with market research company and in said interview I got told to bring my passport to my first shift training and it was ok if it was 5 years out of date. Additional info, they were supposed to call us on Thursday to book said shift and send us an email with a information pack. They never did.
Ok, day of shift comes along. After I booked it because no one fucking bothered to call any of us. Email never arrived but whatever. I go to the place and bring my 3 years out of date polish passport... Big fucking mistake. They don't seem to like polish passport seeing as how it's only the British ones that get the out of date is okay thing. So I'm sitting there still calm because sure, company policy, they have to do it. The training guy was nice and all, offered to get me to their office to speak to them about it. I accept and off we go.
At the office, I basically get the information that it's only British passports that get it and I basically can't use anything else as proof of ID, which is funny seeing as I have a polish identity card that I can leave and enter the country on within the EU. I suppose I'm going to try looking for a job that doesn't require passports for now and if I find a good one then they can go get fucked by a bull for all I care.
In conclusion, I get to wait till I'm 18 (thankfully only a month) to apply for a new passport in the local polish consulate. Brilliant. All thanks to some cunt that decided they require fucking passports with such beautiful (note the sarcasm) rules. The fucktards.
Hoping the apocalypse comes early for these cocksuckers,
BadFox -
So apparently, the next version of C# is gonna have list pattern matching more powerful than F#...
...so... my motivation to learn F# drops back down to curiosity, since C#'s list pattern matching seems to will have all I needed and wanted for my parser, as opposed to F# which seems to not have it...
also fuck Russia and China, but I don't want to think about the impending apocalypse, thankyouverymuch. -
Have you thought that in case of apocalypse say EMP burst or anything huge enough hit our wet rock which lead to global & long power outage, our kind along electricians will be a valuable assets for any survival group. if 2 better, but if they are 3+ one will proclaim himself as PM and the chaos will be uneashed again ;}4
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What’s the best resource to learn macOS development? Am thinking of creating a simple tool that has great aesthetic and easy to use.
Coming from web development background.5 -
Hummm(flash back)... I was studying art and design when I've decided to become a web designer, but by the time it came to take my degree also took some frontend languages and them(big explosion and fireworks) it was like magic, I could design and give life to my creations!!! 6 years later still is magic(not the rainbow and unicorns type) ...you know dam well i am talking to you javascript(and your dam post apocalypse bugs)... 😁😁😁 still wouldn't imagine my self doing anything else!
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Who should be setting the versioning and features it should come along with? The dev team or perhaps the product manager?1