"updates"

My manager doesn't get it.

Many can relate. 🤔

Stackoverflow.

Totally agree...

All the time :'D

Hey, have you ever wanted to punch a developer 8611 times before?

The world is about to end

When you mention in your resume that you are an active contributor to Linux source code.

Interview with a candidate. He calls himself "C++ expert" on his resume. I think: "oh, great, I love C++ too, we will have an interesting conversation!"

Me: let's start with an easy one, what is 'nullptr'?
Him: (...some undecipherable sequence of words that didn't make any sense...)

In my mind: mh, probably I didn't understand right. Let's try again with something simple and more generic

Me: can you tell me about memory management in C++?
Him: you create objects on the stack with the 'new' keyword and they get automatically released when no other object references them

In my mind: wtf is this guy talking about? Is he confusing C++ with Java? Does he really know C++? Let's make him write some code, just to be sure

Me: can you write a program that prints numbers from 1 to 10?

Ten minutes and twenty mistakes later...

Me: okay, so what is this <int> here in angle brackets? What is a template?
Him: no idea

Me: you wrote 'cout', why sometimes do I see 'std::cout' instead? What is 'std'?
Answer: no idea, never heard of 'std'

I think: on his resume he also said he is a Java expert. Let's see if he knows the difference between the two. He *must* have noticed that one is byte-compiled and the other one is compiled to native code! Otherwise, how does he run his code? He must answer this question correctly:

Me: what is the difference between Java and C++? One has a Virtual Machine, what about the other?
Him: Java has the Java Virtual Machine
Me: yes, and C++?
Him: I guess C++ has a virtual machine too. The C++ Virtual Machine

Me (exhausted): okay, I don't have any other questions, we will let you know

And this is the story of how I got scared of interviews

You know, exiting Skype is even harder than exiting Vim

My classmates are such hypocrites. They pretend to be programmers, but they can't fool me.

"Oh sorry. I can't show you the result of my html code. I have to compile it first, but there's no WiFi."

There's so many things wrong with that.

That moment when

what happens if your .gitignore file contains '.gitignore'?

🎁🎁🎁

Yo dawg, check out my fresh pimped homeoffice!

I have been a developer since I was 13 and this is the first time ever I feel complete :) Wish all of you even a better one than mine!

Recursion 😃

1995: Viruses create funny VGA effect
2000: Viruses send SPAM e-mails
2010: Viruses steal credentials
2016: Viruses launch DDoS attacks
2017: Viruses demand ransom
2018: Viruses mine crypto coins

Sit down, Alexa. Sit. Down.

This is where US's bandwith is going

What’s the most efficient algorithm to find duplicates in a set?

An SO moderator

Jep, that's one way to handle this...

Me: "I'm a programmer"

Others: talks about linux
Others: search algorithms!
Others: service infrastructure
Others: memory optimization
Others: encryption

Me: "I'm a front end web developer"

Others: complex services
Others: strong user form validation
Others: lazy loading
Others: SEO

Me: "fucking, I make shit look pretty alright"

Waiting for this day....

"I thought you were supposed to be good with computers"...

Yeah, let me just pull my fucking printer fixing degree out of my crusty asshole so you can bitch more about some other technology that I almost never use but assume I can just immediately fix just because I'm a dev

...mom

a trashcan at our school

I had to laugh when i saw this, i must have missed quite a bit doing Front End

How to get a job at apple

Nice try ad-people

Who else feels this way? Current mood 😔