"updates"

My manager doesn't get it.

Stackoverflow.

Hey, have you ever wanted to punch a developer 8611 times before?

The world is about to end

When you mention in your resume that you are an active contributor to Linux source code.

Interview with a candidate. He calls himself "C++ expert" on his resume. I think: "oh, great, I love C++ too, we will have an interesting conversation!"

Me: let's start with an easy one, what is 'nullptr'?
Him: (...some undecipherable sequence of words that didn't make any sense...)

In my mind: mh, probably I didn't understand right. Let's try again with something simple and more generic

Me: can you tell me about memory management in C++?
Him: you create objects on the stack with the 'new' keyword and they get automatically released when no other object references them

In my mind: wtf is this guy talking about? Is he confusing C++ with Java? Does he really know C++? Let's make him write some code, just to be sure

Me: can you write a program that prints numbers from 1 to 10?

Ten minutes and twenty mistakes later...

Me: okay, so what is this <int> here in angle brackets? What is a template?
Him: no idea

Me: you wrote 'cout', why sometimes do I see 'std::cout' instead? What is 'std'?
Answer: no idea, never heard of 'std'

I think: on his resume he also said he is a Java expert. Let's see if he knows the difference between the two. He *must* have noticed that one is byte-compiled and the other one is compiled to native code! Otherwise, how does he run his code? He must answer this question correctly:

Me: what is the difference between Java and C++? One has a Virtual Machine, what about the other?
Him: Java has the Java Virtual Machine
Me: yes, and C++?
Him: I guess C++ has a virtual machine too. The C++ Virtual Machine

Me (exhausted): okay, I don't have any other questions, we will let you know

And this is the story of how I got scared of interviews

You know, exiting Skype is even harder than exiting Vim

Me: "I'm a programmer"

Others: talks about linux
Others: search algorithms!
Others: service infrastructure
Others: memory optimization
Others: encryption

Me: "I'm a front end web developer"

Others: complex services
Others: strong user form validation
Others: lazy loading
Others: SEO

Me: "fucking, I make shit look pretty alright"

When you talk to other devs about what their code did. I also relate myself to this.

Try to understand Nerds.....

I'm the git master in my group for a uni project as I am the only one with some experience.
This is what I have to deal with

Did you say security?

Oh no!

Shit getting to next level!

This is a valid point.

Me: I mend shoes

Every js dev I know

Code comments be like....

Such dedication much wow

One of the scariest pumpkins I've ever seen...😂😨

Oh sh*t

Pure evil

Saw this a while back and decided to take a picture of it. Now I'm glad I did. XD

Teacher: press F5

Student: presses f then 5

Me: dies

Splitting 5 lines of code to 3 functions

Not buying bitcoin in 2008

I trust machines more than humans.

Except when I'm hitting that Ctrl+S. Gotta hit it at least like 4 times before I can start believing :-P

Love a machine that can just keep going.

> Google Drive Version Control best Version Control