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Search - "hehe"
She: Uuggrrr.. You did it again
She: Stop opening the dev tools
Me: Oh sorry
She: Leave me alone with your laptop.
10 min later
Me: What did you change?
She: I tried to remove the dev tools by changing the dragged position to a negative value in chromes config files.
She: Didn't work.
Me: Hehe, nice try though
- Light pink theme
- 500% zoom
- Font size changed
- Some virus search engine (my search?)
- deleted some plugins
- start page randomcolour.org (or color? (<- me css freak))16
You know those dudes that dress up spiffy and try to sell you cable providers for tv and shit. Well, i normally stream everything from my computers and do not really have any need for actual tv, my flatscreen is mostly used for my ps4 or switch and das it.
So these guys stop me at walmart and start trying to sell me this provider, i normally listen and give everyone a chance since they b only doing their job. Afterwards I tell them that i use one of those roku or amazon sticks and that I am fine with it. Well one of them insists in that those are not good since **fake made up technical shit** and that unless I am a programmer I would not know how to work around them.
I smile. Hehe.....hehe.....muahahahaha and tell them that I do not worry about such things since I am a software engineer. My wife passes by and confirms "yup, computer scientist, spends his days thinkering with shit"
One of them looks at the other and says "fuck it dude we lost"
Lol, gracious in the face of defeat.8
Hehe, stumbled upon an oldie :-)
/* and there are no unions in sight */3
So my school forced everyone to buy a Chromebook G4 Education Edition which came with ChromeOS and we had to sign some shady e-policy. Days after I got it, I opened it up and manually reflashed the BIOS so I could use SeaBIOS and install Arch Linux.
Great, so I went on to instal Chrome and it was really slow and performance heavy, then I installed the new Firefox and it ran a lot faster...
*So hehe, Firefox works better than Chrome on a Chromebook!*10
NFF = Not Funny Friend.
NFF: what is your smart phone?
ME: OnePlus 3
NFF: Oh you have 4 !
ME: hehe, yeah. I am thinking to buy the new OnePlus 5.
NFF: you're gonna to buy 6?? wow
ME: Ok stoop2
Mine and @CozyPlanes hobby, it really helps you take your mind off programming and it's "quirks" hehe38
Answer from 3rd party software company: "we can't fix these bugs because it requires development on our side".. hehe, yeah, no shit 😂4
Eh ehe hehe he eh ehehe
On top of burnout, codebase issues, spec issues, burnout, the product butt that keeps on crapping, burnout, burnout, loathing for my employer... My local Apple SSL cert expired. I can’t finish this and push it anywhere for testing. I can’t even run my own specs anymore. And I don’t have permissions to make a new one. I can’t do anything at all.
Ehe he hehe
Deadline is in two days, and I’m just sitting here laughing quietly to myself. I might finally be going crazy
I found a loose bit of tangle, started to pull, and the world decided it was time to fall apart. Reality said it’s time to go. And I wasn’t even a good screwdriver dev. Byeee ~12
I am just not mature enough to be a developer. At least half a dozen times per day I go like:
hehe.. hehe.. pubic function8
Updated linux-next again.
Got another 2 FPS boost.
AMD is optimizing the shit out of their open-source drivers. And as i see in mailing list we will get BACO on pre-VEGA GPUs. (Bus Active Chip Off) = power saving feature.
Basically means much better battery life for me HEHE.
It got conflicts with linux-next and im not in the mood to fix those just for that.
But anyways AMD is making 5.5 another great release.
Peopleee of devRant!
It's been a year, I missed the date
I got to know lots of people, it has been an interesting year... certainly
To every ++er, to the people I now call my friends
I'm still a student at uni, still bad at stuff, still an embarrassing mess, it is best to not mind me hehe8
```We discovered that your app contains hidden features. Attempting to hide features, functionality or content in your app is considered egregious behavior and can lead to removal from the Apple Developer Program.```
- Apple App Store Publishing Team
ARE U FU KINV KIDDING ME
THAT IS THE COMPLETE REASON WHY YOU REJECTED MY APP?
THE SAME GODDAMN BUILD THAT WAS SUBMITTED ON GOOGLE PLAY FOR ANDROID GOT APPROVED IN 10 MINUTES
IS THE SAME BUILD VERSION THAT GOT REJECTED 3 DAYS AFTER REVIEW ON THE APP STORE
BECAUSE "THEY THINK" I HAVE HIDDEN FEATURES LOL WHAT ARE FU🤡🤡KING INSANE🤡 YO😂😂🤡🤡
THIS REJECTION REASON IS LIKE A SHITTY USER REVIEW
"omg baby girl this app is best" *1 star"
"I have a crash pls fix its not work this app cz crashs n not fixes fck u developers fix it these prblms !!!!🍆🍆🍆👅👅👅💦💦💦💨🌬🌬🌬" *1 star*
AND GET THIS RN !!!!
THEY EVEN *THREAT ME* TO BAN MY APPLE DEVELOPER PROGRAM ACCOUNT WHICH I. P A I D. F O R. $ 100 USD
BECAUSE MY APP HaS 'HIDDEN FEATURES'
THERE ARE NOOO9OO FI KING HIDDEN FEATURES U MTHHHFRRFKERSS I WILL CUMBLAST ALL OF UR APPLE HOLES INTO UR ASSHOLES AND GIVE BIRTH TO THE MAGGOTS🤡GROWING FROM WITHIN🤡UR FKIG ASSHOLE CZ ALL OF YALL R FKIN ASSHOLES🤡ANYWAY🤡THEN MY FKIG HOT CUM🤡WILL EXPLODE💦OUT OF YOUR🤡ASS AND U WILL BE CLOWNS FOREBER🤡I WORKED WAY TOO HARD TO DESERVE AN UNNECESSARY REJECTION THAT HAS A VAGUE REASON OF WHY IT WAS REJSCTED🤡🤡🤡
Google meet, the wonderful shit show
Senior : "Yo YWTF , join this meeting *link*"
me : *clicks link*
meet : "Sorry your camera is not working" *shows disabled camera button*
me : "fuck this shit , i don't have to open my camera anyways" *proceeds to join a meeting am already late by 5 minutes
Senior explaining stuff while slightly laughing.
Me : "Seems like senior in good mood, thank god"
Senior: **proceeds on showing the code by switching on the share screen**
Screen : **has my fat ass face covered in blanket staring right at me**
Meet: "hehe , i magically fixed your camera and opened it, fuck your dignity"
Me: *cries in gmail*21
A couple of months back we were discussing sh with a third party vendor for a very large ass fuck system that another department uses. I had been called into the meeting because the entire I.T department counts on me to at least act as an assessor to the many issues that other departments might have.
the department for which i was working with manages the databases that our institution uses, and in this particular question the DBA (my best friend mind you) was part of the meeting.
Mind you, issues that the third party vendor were having were all fixed by our DBA, and he had documented and mentioned these items to me as I provided assistance to him through the 3 weeks prior to this meetings. Once such case was that we needed a transitioning as well as intermediary system for some processes to happen from one DB to the other and a lot of other technical babble. Well, the DBA used to be an excellent (fuck you) VB developer who recently re-learned the language into .net. He had shown me many of his old programs and even by the limitations of the language they were elegant and fascinating. They really are and ya'll devrant fam know that I ain't one to hate on tech at all.
When the DBA explained how he went around some of the issues by generating programs that could assist him, he mentioned the tech stack, I had coached him into knowing that being descriptive about the tools he used would be beneficial to everyone else. While he mentioned VB.NET the vendor snickered and my boy got quiet.
Then I broke the silence, fuck you. "what was that?" and the dude said "nothing, sorry"
So I said "no no, I want to know, I am not going past this point until you, the dude getting paid over $100 an hour for something YOU couldn't fix explain to me the little hehe moment you had"
The mfker went silent. then explained how he was aware that people were moving past vb.net and shit like that, me "imagine that, someone used a tech stack that your ignorance thought obsolete to fix something you could not solve, even though we are paying you for it, were it me or in my hands, and mind you i have direct access to the VP so this foolishness might change, I would have cut you and your little sect loose months ago, I have no patience, or appreciation from leeches like you or the rest of the "professionals" that work for your company or other similar entities, much less, as you can see, my patience runs even less when you people snicker at the solutions that our staff has to take when you all slack"
The entire meeting was uncomfortable as high heaven.
Fuck you, if someone I know manages to run shit on fucking liberty basic then so fucking be it. I will slap you 10 fucking times over, and then fuck your girl, if you try to put someone else down for the tech stacks you use.
I hate neck beards, BUT I hate fake ass neckbeards ever more
*Colin Farrell in true detective mode: FUCK....YOU13
Soo many java script hate posts! Not one post goes by where i thank god that I'm not a front end developer!
PS - I let my intern work on the the UI of my application :P He is on devrant. I hope he sees this! Hehe.3
Online applications are so much worse than the classic snail mail ones, because some companies just don't seem to give a single fuck about the quality of their application application (hehe).
This results in such joyous things like:
• "Allowed file types: doc, docx, pdf, jpg, zip"
• "Max filesize 3mb"
• "One of your files does not meet the requirements" (doesn't tell you which)
• "Upload timed out, please try again"
• 403 forbidden
• "Your account does not have the necessary permissions to upload more than 4 files at once"
• clicking the submit button leads to a 404
• "Please explain why you want to work for us." 500 character limit
• Google forms2
!rant (kind of)
I have the bad habit of suggesting "awesome" and "cool" features for projects and stuffs.. (Mostly just for fun and won't give a lot of value to the project, but would be cool). The less fun side.. I'm the only developer (in most cases..)
Me: Hey, wouldn't it be cool if the user could do this or that, or if this was implemented etc.. ?
Boss/Leader: Oh, hehe yeah, hmm.. *thinking* [a bit later] .. You're right, go ahead, implement that feature..
Me: .. Damnit..
But hey, on the bright side.. It's an extra feature! :D4
I get asked about being able to hack stuff, like cracking wifi passwords. Mostly I just go along with them and make up some stuff about how you _could_ do it. And explain how it is done, throw in some "yeah its tough"s and words they wont understand. Yeah with a dictionary attack and a powerful CPU with many threads you can definitely do it! You should try it! I say. Convincing them they can. Ofcourse, download kain and abel and look for something like aircrackng on google.
They won't amount to much and probably won't even try it, but I have a laugh. Seeing the hope of hacking and cracking fade away as a child's ice cream melting on a hot summer day.
Regarding Article 13 (or 17 or wherever it moved to now)… Let's say that the UK politicians decide to be dicks and approve the law. After that, we need to get it engineered in, right? Let's talk a bit about how.. well, I'd maybe go over it. Been thinking about it a bit in the shower earlier, so.. yeah.
So, fancy image recognition or text recognition from articles scattered all over the internet, I think we can all agree.. that's infeasible. Even more so, during this lobby with GitHub and OpenForum Europe, guy from GitHub actually made a very valid point. Now for starters, copyright infringement isn't an issue on the platform GitHub that pretty much breathes collaboration. But in the case of I-Boot for example, that thing from Apple that got leaked earlier. If that would get preemptively blocked.. well there's no public source code for it to get compared against to begin with, right? So it's not just "scattered all over the internet, good luck crawling it", it's nowhere to be found *at all*.
So content filtering.. yeah. Nope, ain't gonna happen. Keep trying with that, EU politicians.
But let's say that I am a content creator who hates the cancer of joke/meme because more often than not it manifests itself as a clone of r/programmerhumor.. someone decides to freeboot my content. So I go out, look for it, find it. Facebook and the likes, make it easier to find it in the first place, you dicks. It's extremely hard to find your content there.
So Facebook implements a way to find that content a bit easier maybe. Me being the content creator finds it.. oh blimey! It can't be.. it's the king of freebooting on Facebook, SoFlo! Who would've thought?! So at that point.. I'd like to get it removed of course. Report it as copyright infringement? Of course. Again Facebook you dicks, don't make it so tedious to fill in that bloody report. And look into it quickly! The videos those SoFlo dicks post is only relevant in the first 48h or so. That's where they make the most money. So act more quickly.
So the report is filled, video's taken down.. what else? Maybe temporarily make them unable to post as a bit of a punishment so that they won't do it again? And put in a limit to the amount of reports they can receive. Finally, maybe reroute the revenue stream to the original content creator instead. That way stolen content suddenly becomes free exposure! Awesome!
*suddenly realizes that I've been talking about the YouTube copyright strike system all along*
… Well.. maybe something like that then? That shouldn't be too hard to implement, and on YouTube at least it seems to be quite effective. Just imagine SoFlo and the likes that are repeat offenders, every 3 posts they get their account and page shut down. Good luck growing an audience that way. And good luck making new accounts all the time to start with.. account verification technology is pretty good these days. Speaking of experience here, tried bypassing Facebook's signup hoops a fair bit and learned a bit about some of the things they have red flags on, hehe.
But yeah, something like that maybe for social media in general. And.. let's face it, the biggest one that would get hurt by something like this would be Facebook. And personally I think it's about time for that bastard company to get a couple of blows already.
What are your thoughts on this?6
I called it "Microsoft S.Q.L" but Bobby argued it's Sequel not S.Q.L then I asked Bobby "PostgreSQL" and also he said "Postgre Sequel". Hehe sequel my ass then cus I'm sticking with my abbreviation.8
Cool things I found out recently™:
[#1, August 2017]
1) devRant (hehe~ ★)
2) DeepL Translator
3) Lanota (an awesome mobile music/rhythm game) (I'm fanboying too much about it, sorry :'D)
4) Burrito Galaxy 65
5) USB type C Simulator
6) bill wurtz('s YouTube channel. Heh, you thought I was just gonna call a person "a thing"?)
What do you think? What is your list? ^^9
I always thought i could use some extra hours a day, but 40 seems a little excessive...
This is also the first time i encountered such a bug in the wild, and i'm way more excited than i should be, hehe.5
balancing school work between life and sport and programming is so hard. i mean, school is complete bs. what’s the point?
ffs it’s not *just* that im never gonna use the shit im taught, but that if it dont learn it, im punished. even in some classes (code.org), information that we’re taught is blatantly incorrect. either way, being able to find the foci or an ellipse and the latus rectum (hehe) of a hyperbola isnt going to make it easier when i get my job and just adjust css to my bosses’s specifications. i maintain a 4.0, and i fucking hate it. my friends are working hard, and getting into mit for racial diversity, while im doing just as much work, for what?
i want out. i really do. but this redundant thing called a degree is holding me back. i really want to have some way of proving my skills without a degree. i’m currently building a social media application i believe will take off, but frankly, i dont care.
take off or not, hopefully it will be enough to prove my skills. i’ve been working on this for two weeks now, and, well, that’s my story.7
Oh god, so many... I'll list my top two then, just because I can't decide which one was actually better. (:
One of my work colleagues left to go to Cape Town, so we filled his Corsa sedan with helium balloons and wrapped his car with clingwrap. :D The good sport that he was, he still climbed in and drove forwards about 2m with all the balloons. Lol.
Then for my boss's birthday, we wrapped literally everything on and around his desk in newspaper. His phone, monitor (secondary for a laptop), his shelves, everything on the shelves, etc. Took him a few hours before he could get back to work stuff after that, and some things still stayed wrapped for a few months... If I can find the photos from this I'll share them.
Ah, we have so much fun here... Hehe.
Didn’t want people staring at a random coding problem so I converted the board to something relevant to the event hehe
soooo… Thing is, I'm really dying to try out that avatar editor since y'all have such cute alter-egos here. Can't wait hehe <36
Kotlin and mother tongue
In my mother tongue (my first language which is Kikuyu) we do not have the letter L in our alphabet thus meaning L and R to us is similar thus pronounced the same.
Then Kotlin makes life hard for devs who got a mother influence in their speech from my tribe. Was having a talk with fellow dev who is my tribe mate and we had an issue agreeing between val and var hehe.
We had to write it down to tell which is which.
Thankyou Kotlin for making my day.6
Holy shit firefox, 3 retarded problems in the last 24h and I haven't fixed any of them.
My project: an infinite scrolling website that loads data from an external API (CORS hehe). All Chromium browsers of course work perfectly fine. But firefox wants to be special...
(tested on 2 different devices)
(Terminology: CORS: a request to a resource that isn't on the current websites domain, like any external API)
For the infinite scrolling to work new html elements have to be silently appended to the end of the page and removed from the beginning. Which works great in all browsers. BUT IF YOU HAPPEN TO BE SCROLLING DURING THE APPENDING & REMOVING FIREFOX TELEPORTS YOU RANDOMLY TO THE END OR START OF PAGE!
Guess I'll just debug it and see what's happening step by step. Oh how wrong I was. First, the problem can't be reproduced when debugging FUCK! But I notice something else very disturbing...
The Inspector view (hierarchical display of all html elements on the page) ISN'T SHOWING THE TRUE STATE OF THE DOM! ELEMENTS THAT HAVE JUST BEEN ADDED AREN'T SHOWING UP AND ELEMENT THAT WERE JUST REMOVED ARE STILL VISIBLE! WTF????? You have to do some black magic fuckery just to get firefox to update the list of DOM elements. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO DEBUG MY WEBSITE ON FIREFOX IF IT'S SHOWING ME PLAIN WRONG DATA???!!!!
During all of this I just randomly decided to open my website in private (incognito) mode in firefox. Huh what's that? Why isn't anything loading and error are thrown left and right? Let's just look at the console. AND IT'S A FUCKING CORS ERROR! FUCK ME! Also a small warning says some URLs have been "blocked because content blocking is enabled." Content Blocking? What is that? Well it appears to be a supper special supper privacy mode by firefox (turned on automatically in private mode), THAT BLOCKS ALL CORS REQUESTS, THAT MAY OR MAY NOT DO SOME TRACKING. AN API THAT 100% CORS COMPLIANT CAN'T BE USED IN FIREFOXs PRIVATE MODE! HOW IS THE END USER SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT??? AND OF COURSE THE THROWN EXCEPTION JUST SAYS "NETWORK ERROR". HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO TELL THE USER THAT FIREFOX HAS A FEAUTRE THAT BREAKS THE VERY BASIS OF MY WEBSITE???
WHY CAN'T YOU JUST BE NORMAL FIREFOX??????????????????
I actually managed to come up with fix for 1. that works like < 50% of the time -_-5
Not by me, but by my friend
He write a shell command to alias 'cd' into 'rm -rf' and then print out 'hehe', then save the command to bash_profile
Me? I put that command to our engineer's slack channel and wait for a natural selection does its job2
I'm picking old manuals and documents for recycling, enough to fill one handcart.
Just found a letter from old girlfriends and lovers, and a folder full of a closed form of soft non-gender hentai...
Why do I find homoerotic hentai art better then more normal hentai... I don't know, but I still do.
Well, I'm just gonna save a few... hehe
Btw, also found some paintings and drawings I forgot I've done, 15 years ago. :D2
Okay, I try not to swear even when I am frustrated and I’ve had it up to my neck with a certain issue; it’s my personal ideal, and I have my reasons - I also have my ways of venting anger.
I searched for bootstrap on Google just once. Since then, I’ve just been using the actual website to get where I need to. Now, at the beginning of every YouTube video I watch, I get a Udemy ad asking me to enroll into the Bootstrap class. I use Adblock (I know it doesn’t protect me from all their ad scripts) but seriously, can they please tone down on the aggressive ads.
It’s so infuriating. If I have clicked the ad link to be redirected to Udemy, perhaps your AdSense should understand that I don’t want to learn Bootstrap from Udemy. If I see one more f$&@?!#g Udemy web development ad... I might just make it my mission to become a l337 h4x0r and wreck Google. Hehe
Now that that’s out, thanks for reading.6
When I was a kid I wanted to be a carpenter like my dad, my parents reaction was always "just keep studying and you can do whatever you want, if you wanna study then do it and don't care about anything else we will help you".
Growing up I became a bit of a geek by hanging out with my uncles (they were the pc gurus in the old days, not anymore hehe). When choosing a college major I knew I wanted it in some kind of engineering, but had no idea besides that, I ended up choosing CS somewhat random and loved the thrill of solving problems so I stuck with it. During it all my parents only really said "as long as you study so you can have what we couldn't give you and do something you like, we will support you!"
I love my parents! 😄
Side note: I think my parents love to be able to brag about my accomplishments, kind of feels like they are entitled to though, since pretty much everything is thanks to them!4
me, first job interview:
interviewer: so how about your knowledge of java
me: yeah, done some projects, should be ok
interviewer: what about polymorphism in java, can you tell me sth about it?
me (thinking i'm totally right): hehe, you can't do polymorphism in java!
guess what, didnt get the job :D7
The annual end of year meeting that takes a 3 day offsite so we can list 21 new enterprise projects to be completed the upcoming year - hehe 😅
Hehe I'm back peeps 😭 missed this community so much. Hope I can read yall's rants and have a pleasant laugh :3.
Also, I've ripped apart my android app and I'm rewriting it using Flutter. Yes I did that. I don't regret it though. Does Google have more control over me now or less? I have no clue. The whole dynamic vs. Shutdown framework risk benefit balance out I assume.10
Lil' update: so I never went to linux class and I had to learn it within a few days for my exam and I passed hehe2
Being a perfectionist, I don't even recall when I was being lazy, hehe. I think I might care too much about my work.1
Liferay is a fucking malediction inflicted on the human race, bubonic plague has nothing on Liferay. A staunch advocate of legacy tech, bad documentation, bad APIs and poor UX, Liferay has it all. Scriptlets all day every day. Fuck your hot reloads, a deployment cycle is the shit. Why be productive when you can wait for a deployment? Scientists are still deciphering the enigma of Liferay APIs. Over fifteen arguments per method, some optional, some not, littered with value specific functionality. Happy debugging motherfucker. API design is for hacks and pussies, real developers want to know implementation details. JSP the flagship of frontend tech, scriptlets, the pinnacle of evolution. Liferay has PLENTY of that. Did I mention scriptlets? How about obscure Liferay grown frameworks? MetalJS? A bigger mistake than smoking a pound of meth. Liferay UX, heh, heh, design, user experience hehe, hoho. Best joke I've heard. Liferay and UX, choose one.
I'm out, fuck my life.2
Frustrated with works and went to the toilet. Came back with an offer.
Ps: had to take that recruiter's call
Oh, yes. I need this 60 hour udemy course in my life. I will buy it and then learn everything before moving to the next course
*3 minutes later*
Hehe🤡 this other course looks very helpful. I need it so i can learn. I will buy it
Hehe🤡 this new good course is just what i needed to learn in harmony with the previous two courses. I will buy it
What JS framework you don't like but you were forced to study it due to job requirements? I like vue but there are only few job postings that require it. Most jobs here are angular and react. I know angular now and currently learning react because of job requirement reasons hehe!😄3
Best part of being a dev?
Knowing that given enough time, you could essentially get your computer to do anything you want; and if it doesn't, it's because you made a mistake somewhere and not because it just didn't want to!
Before my dev days (when I wasn't allowed to install any software) wrote an excel macro that would email a colleague with a coffee request after someone challenged me saying I couldn't get the computer to make me coffee, hehe...2
My Dad wanted me to become a Nurse, but he was impressed when I told him I'm going to take up Computer Science since it sounds fancy hehe But til this day he doesn't remember what I do for a living so when the topic pops up in one of our conversations, I have to explain over again. My Mom tells her friends that I am a "Computer Executive", no matter how many times I correct her. 😂
Why write unit tests? There is no benefit for the customer.
Me while trying to upgrade to an newer version... ┐(͠≖ ͜ʖ͠≖)┌11
When your quite amazed about your system looking messed up on clients PC. And found out that her Display drivers were outdated. Its like opening it on IE browser. hehe. When I updated the drivers and then it looks good again . Horay. :)3
Does anybody know any good software engineering companies to work for around LA? I'm looking for an entry level software engineering position. Full stack would be ideal, but at this point I just want to get my foot in the door with a good company where I can learn a lot. Maybe even a company that knows how to have fun too (if that's not too much to ask hehe 😅).3
First It has to be challenged task. It must have something that challenge me Second Short Answer "BUG".. hehe I cant sleep until I catch it and resolve it
When you fine gentlemen see me shitposting, just know that sukmikehok is not writing these posts, the burnout from within inside of him is writing them th🤣x u hehe3
When your boss says 'GOOD JOB' but in reality you just trade the stock market the whole day. hehe
Any developers slash traders here?5
Tracking/logging hours, how do you do it? Is there some decent software for Linux that does this?
I wanna start tracking my time doing specific tasks, so I'm just wondering what other ppl use, if at all hehe1