I've never had a great experience working with designers, but this one might be the laziest! Props if it's for a friend and unpaid though.

Thanks Spotify, I'm really digging your suggested songs!

👋🏻 So, yesterday I thought I'd quit...

👠 Today it turns out I've been fired, and my resignation wasn't opened 😂 😂

🖕 Hannah from HR

In fairness I did literally say that to Hannah from HR yesterday in a sort-of-attempt to get myself fired, so... I'm not quite sure who wins...

🎉 Today, I quit!

🖕🏻 Hannah from HR
🖕🏻 Hot desking

👋 I will miss (most of) the other people though. They were ok.

🤔 Now how am I gonna afford my coke and Bollinger hobbies

Hard decision...

Saying that Sharepoint was coded by a bunch of trained monkeys would be an understatement and an insult to monkeys. Why is it such a bloody mess? 😡

Thanks for these cool stickers :)

PM (on slack): "we’re about to deploy to production".
Me: "ok"
… I keep on working on a task / remain available for any post deployment issues …
PM (5 minutes later on slack): "deployment broke production! We need to handle this NOW!"

My dev colleague has already called it a day, but I’m still online

Me: "ok I don’t have access to prod, can you describe what’s going on? I can’t reproduce on any other environment"

PM: …

10 minutes go by

Me: "anybody there?"

PM: …

45 minutes later, I realize PM is offline

The following day:
PM: "ok we got prod running again" (turns out it was client’s fault for not updating a config we as devs can’t access)
PM: "but we’re REALLY UPSET! You guys need to be available to intervene for any issues following deployment to production! At least one of you should be available!"

Me: "but, but…" 🫠

Client: please be sure to let us know with enough notice if you plan on taking any time off so we can anticipate how to operate during your absence.

Me to client 4 months before vacation: "I’m going to be on vacation in July for such amount of time".
Client: OK thanks

Client 3 months before vacation: are you taking any time off this summer?
Me: yeah I’m taking such amount of time in July.
Client: Ok

Client 2 months before vacation: are you taking any time off this summer.
Me: yeah I’m taking such amount of time in July.
Client: Ok

Client a month before vacation: wait you’re taking time off this summer?
Me: yeah, in July.
Client: oh, we need to start figuring out how to manage your absence.

…client has enough time to figure things out.
——-

Client two weeks ago: we’re switching you to a another project where you’ll be replacing someone who’s leaving; and you’ll be developing alone. You’ll be working closely with our software architect. He’ll be the one who can answer all your questions.
Me totally lost on new project as it’s barely documented, sql tables are a mess with barely any relations between them and data structures are totally inconsistent. Supposed to be getting info from partner APIs but I can’t test them and don’t know exactly what data to expect. Only the software architect has the necessary knowledge.

Client a week ago: hey don’t hesitate to reach out to us if you have any questions. We can’t afford to fall behind from schedule.
Me: oh don’t worry, I’m already flooding your guy with questions.

Me last Monday to client: hey do you know what’s up with your architect? I’ve been waiting for him to answer some important questions and it’s going to be hard to move forward without him getting back to me.
Client: you’re telling us you’re not going to be able to move forward efficiently until our architect gets back from vacation in two weeks?
Me: wait, he’s on vacation?
(on the inside: when the fuck were you guys planning on telling me he would be gone???)

Glass door: now almost completely fucking useless.

Glassdoor now requires you to login to even read the site. You log in and then AFTEr logging it, it informs you that you have to contribute an "anonymous review" to read the others.

Completely fucking useless and defeat the one reason it originally existed for: to help people review a company *before* applying.

Good job you morons at glassdoor, you had one job.

Of the following names, at least one of them is likely certifiably retarded (or has options against the company stock):

Christian Sutherland Wong (ceo)

Anthony Moisant (cio, senior vp)

Kate Ahlering (chief sales)

Owen Humphries (senior vp)

Annie Pearl (chief product officer)

What is your opinion on piracy?

THE WORLD IS ON FIRE!

Some of my coworkers call connecting with SSH "git bashing", because they use git bash for making ssh connections. 😋
They never understand me when I use the term "SSH". 😔

Hey DevRant!
I've been lurking for a few weeks now, and it bothered me that I couldn't like/dislike posts, so I finally decided to make an account. :D

I am currently a programming student, I'm in my third year. I started learning with C# but later I switched to Python, PHP and HTML5.

There's still many things I want to learn, this is just the beginning of my long, stressful yet rewarding life as a programmer. (:

Monitor at the train station in Zwolle (the Netherlands) was showing this all day 😋

When clients sent work requests in the veil of "Merry Christmas" messages...

🖕🏼Susan

Got this email from my manager today... a bit of a downer to my three day weekend!

I actually don't talk about work (in an indentifiable way), and I think most of the other points in their guide are utter BS (and unenforceable).

I am pretty open (about myself) on social media though, so feel sorry for HR if they've been combing through it! 🤣

Life at work these days:

Manager: we’re not getting enough done
My calendar: 1/3 week filled with scheduled meetings

Manager: we need to use ChatGPT intensively. We'll go a lot faster.
Me using ChatGPT to get it to write an automation script: 2 hours wasted with no success
Me starting again from scratch to write the script: 15 minutes to achieve the desired result.

Thanks for your advice boss

The GashlyCode Tinies

A is for Amy whose malloc was one byte short
B is for Basil who used a quadratic sort
C is for Chuck who checked floats for equality
D is for Desmond who double-freed memory
E is for Ed whose exceptions weren’t handled
F is for Franny whose stack pointers dangled
G is for Glenda whose reads and writes raced
H is for Hans who forgot the base case
I is for Ivan who did not initialize
J is for Jenny who did not know Least Surprise
K is for Kate whose inheritance depth might shock
L is for Larry who never released a lock
M is for Meg who used negatives as unsigned
N is for Ned with behavior left undefined
O is for Olive whose index was off by one
P is for Pat who ignored buffer overrun
Q is for Quentin whose numbers had overflows
R is for Rhoda whose code made the rep exposed
S is for Sam who skipped retesting after wait()
T is for Tom who lacked TCP_NODELAY
U is for Una whose functions were most verbose
V is for Vic who subtracted when floats were close
W is for Winnie who aliased arguments
X is for Xerxes who thought type casts made good sense
Y is for Yorick whose interface was too wide
Z is for Zack in whose code nulls were often spied

- Andrew Myers

When 3/4 of my team gave up and left halfway through. I still don't understand how we ended up with a working prototype in the end.

What do you use LinkedIn for?

When I was in school I was told that programmers need a LinkedIn profile! So I made one, and connected to all my classmates and to this day still connect with my coworkers and other people I meet.

The platform itself is just full of people posting their accomplishments, but written out in way too long stories. Also a bunch of people share random articles I couldn't care less about.

At least once a week I get a network request from a recruiter, and from what I hear that's considered not very often. The recruiters always offer me a shitty job at a shitty place.

The whole platform feels like one big circlejerk with people bragging about their large network.

So what's the point of LinkedIn? Does anyone actually take jobs from annoying recruiters?

Ha ha ha ha. Fucking morons!

You brag about being a highly skilled company.

You tell me I don’t have enough experience despite three years of uninterrupted activity where I currently work

You’re willing to give me a chance (I just don’t know how to express my gratitude)

BUT among your super talented team members you can’t find anybody capable of conducting a technical interview?? And you’ve been looking for over a month for someone who could do it?

Thanks for wasting my time with three useless HR interviews you worthless DIPSHITS!

I'm gonna start using this

Client project manager calls me up one day

PM: hey can you make some precise estimates on some items for a project you’re not working on? It should be easy. It’s very similar to the project you ARE working on and it’s only a handful of user stories, mostly front end stuff. We´ll need this to be done by tomorrow night.

Me: um, I guess if it’s just a few simple items. ok

PM: great! I’ll let you know when you get access to the backlog.

Me: sounds good

Link to project is sent to me. Backlog contains over 20 user stories, most of which are backend related. And it doesn’t have much to do with my current project.

I contact PM: this isn’t exactly what you announced when I had you on the phone. If you want precise estimates with a minimum of design, this could take up to a week. I could however proceed to some ballpark estimates (poker planning) for starters if you need this quickly for your roadmap.

PM: no I need PRECISE estimates down to the hour for each item.

Me: ok then, it’ll take up to a week.

PM: 🤬🤬🤬. You told me it could be done in a day. I’m coming to realize your word can’t really be trusted.

Me: 🤦🏻‍♂️

I’m pissed.
I had previously ranted about being assigned to a very messy project. I spent 3-4 months alone adding features and CLEANING things up.

Recently, there had been talks about a new major development phase on this project. But things lingered and the day before I’m to go on vacation, I get the news that this new phase starts in 2 days. Since I’m going to be on break they’re putting other guys on the project who don’t know anything about it.

Fast forward two weeks later.
I’m back from vacation.

I find out one of the guys has strong opinions about doing things certains ways… but unfortunately they are "ways" of unnecessary complexity, abstraction and verbosity.
After just a couple of weeks I’m already lost in the complexity of his code, which supports features of VERY LOW complexity. Fuck, has he ever heard of KISS? Has anybody heard of it where I work?

Now I have to spend my mental energy trying to make sense of this pile of crap rather than actually spending it getting things done.

devRant, what else?

What the fuck??!?!?
I wanna say :-
Fuck!!! What the fuck a sex robot is?!?? Fuck???
Lets leave this planet here humans are thinking to make a sex robot(fuck! ) who can say no fuck?!?!?! Later they will file rape case for humans who tried to force their robot. FUCKING FUCK BRAINS?!?!?

Full answer: -
A lot of ethicists and psychologists think that yes, they should learn to say no. Here is an interesting article about it:

Should We Program Sex Robots to Give Consent?

I agree with Kate Darling, Ph.D., a research specialist and robot-human interaction expert at MIT Media Lab, told Inverse in a discussion about Westworld, when she says she isn’t concerned about the robots, but with human behavior.

However, when I’ve expressed these feelings on Quora, about this controversy I was downvoted and my answer collapsed because people got offended that I made the claim that an object (the robot) could be ‘raped,’ even after I clarified exactly what I meant by that- that no you cannot rape an object, but just as an object cannot consent, you may be enacting ‘rape’ or torture fantasies, etc., on the robot. I think I was downvoted because my point of view wasn’t exactly what they wanted to hear, was too blunt, and the people who downvote opinions that may look more negatively at the sex robot industry typically aren’t feminists in the slight.

It seems a lot of people want the right to use sex robots and also that a lot of people haven’t really thought about it too deeply. Some people say that the robots will relieve women from sex work or protect people from sexual assault, I think these are very bold claims. Some people compare the sex robots to vibrators or other masturbation tools, but this is simply not accurate because sex robots are designed to be much more. They are marketed as companions that do not cry, nag, etc. People that own them often may dress them, tie them up, have marriage ceremonies, etc., a lot more activities than they would if it was a simple masturbation tool.

FaceBook, over the years you’ve proven that you can’t be trusted and you still have the nerve to ask for this type of personal data?

If I could, I would ask the genie to give me the ability to completely disconnect from programming when my work hours are over.

Anytime I see content including this emoji 🚀, I just want to close whatever page or post it’s a part of right away

12:21 am
Totally gonna work this time

In my three years experience so far I can honestly say that 100% of the developers I've worked with are narrow sighted with regards to how they develop.

As in, they lack the capacity to anticipate multiple scenarios.

They code with one unique scenario in mind and their work ends up not passing tests or generates bugs in production.

Not to say I'm the best at foreseeing every possible scenario, but I at least TRY to anticipate and test my code as much as possible to identify problems and edge cases.

I usually take much more time to complete tasks than my colleagues, but my work usually passes tests and comes back bug free. Whereas my colleagues get applauded for completing tasks quickly but end up spending lots of time fixing up after themselves when tests fail or bugs appear.
Probably more time wasted than if they had done the job correctly from the start. Yet they're considered to be effecient devs because they work "fast".

Frustrating...

A little over a year into my job at my current company back in January, I have a yearly meeting with my manager to discuss the progress I’ve made and to talk about what’s next. This is the meeting where we are supposed to discuss a potential pay raise but it’s the last topic of a predefined agenda.
So we spend a couple hours talking about how work has been for me. I started there as a junior developer with very little experience in the field but was quickly able to jump into a project with a fairly large codebase to help out the only other developer working on the project. Before long they’re so happy with me that they actually put me in charge of the application, which means my responsibilities evolve toward a whole lot more communication with the client and everything else that comes along with being in charge, including a lot of stress. I also salvaged another application initially developed by another company but that was so bugged it should’ve just been sent to the pits and rewritten from scratch. I was also asked to develop a couple POCs that were satisfactorily delivered.

Anyway, after almost two hours of going over my accomplishments and getting praises from my manager, we finally get to the part where we’re supposed to discuss a pay raise. He immediately cuts me off by saying the subject is not on the table due to the current crisis and our company struggling to make ends meet. I tell him I understand how hard it must be for them but also explain that I know for a fact other companies in the field are still making financial efforts to reward employees they’re happy with. He responds by saying that he’s aware of that, but he also “knows” that those same companies are laying off people that don’t deserve to be laid off despite the fact that they’re receiving government aid to stay afloat.
In the weeks following that meeting, I find out our company is doing the exact same thing my manager was condemning (laying off good people, taking massive advantage of government aid) and all the while not giving anybody a raise.
In any case, I really felt like that meeting was huge waste of time. What’s the point of going over everything I’ve done, congratulating me for my great work and even promising to give me even more responsibility if you don’t want to reward me for any of it? Do you honestly think I’m working hard so I can get a pat on the back or brownie points from you? I’ve got a family to take care of and I am trying to make their lives a little better each day by putting in hard work. But if hard work and climbing the latter of responsibility does not help me achieve that, what’s the point??

I spend my days in front of a screen working on a product that will be used by other people working in front of a screen, themselves working for other people working in front of a screen

end of rant

Don’t use Bootstrap

So the other day I randomly checked out a few job postings on some recruiting agency’s website. Didn’t even sign up or anything.
The very next day I get a call from them. The person on the phone tells me they noticed I had visited their website and was wondering if I was interested in applying to any of the offers. Even as a developer I was totally taken aback as to how they managed to track me down based on a single visit.
I believe I ended up on their website by clicking on a link on LinkedIn. I’m assuming it’s via LinkedIn that the managed to get my info (phone etc.). All in all I’m not extremely surprised. But to me it’s downright creepy and it makes me feel like I’m being stalked. Also it makes recruiters look totally desperate and I’m not sure I would want to entrust them with the responsibility of handling my career

I had a 4 day weekend and haven't programmed at all. 😅 Been playing games and hanging out with friends 😋.

HR people on LinkedIn. What the fuck? Do you seriously believe you can attract qualified developers by telling them you’re looking for ninjas, jedis or life savers? I for one am still fairly new to the job so I don’t consider myself to be by any means a coding wizard, and I don’t think any strong senior developer is gonna be seduced by your catchy terminology (I may be wrong about that). Come on, talk to us like any recruiter would in any other line of business. No need to replace the words "qualified" or "experienced" with your stupid magic words, unless you want to sound like you’re desperate

I think that two criterias are important:

- don't block my productivity
- author should have his userbase in mind

1) Some simple anti examples:

- Windows popping up a big fat blue screen screaming for updates. Like... Go suck some donkey balls you stupid shit that's totally irritating you arsehole.
- Graphical tools having no UI concept. E.g. Adobes PDF reader - which was minimalized in it's UI and it became just unbearable pain. When the concept is to castrate the user in it's abilities and call the concept intuitive, it's not a concept it's shit. Other examples are e.g. GEdit - which was severely massacred in Gnome 3 if I remember correctly (never touched Gnome ever again. I was really put off because their concept just alienated me)
- Having an UI concept but no consistency. Eg. looking at a lot of large web apps, especially Atlassian software.
Too many times I had e.g. a simple HTML form. In menu 1 you could use enter. In menu 2 Enter does not work. in another menu Enter works, but it doesn't submit the form it instead submits the whole page... Which can end in clusterfuck.
Yaaayyyy.
- Keyboard usage not possible at all.
It becomes a sad majority.... Pressing tab, not switching between form fields. Looking for keyboard shortcuts, not finding any. Yes, it's a graphical interface. But the charm of 16 bit interfaces (YES. I'm praising DOS interfaces) was that once you memorized the necessary keyboard strokes... You were faster than lightning. Ever seen e.g. a good pharmacist, receptionist or warehouse clerk... most of the software is completely based on short keyboard strokes, eg. for a receptionist at a doctor for the ICD code / pharmaceutical search et cetera.
- don't poop rainbows. I mean it.
I love colors. When they make sense. but when I use some software, e.g. netdata, I think an epilepsy warning would be fair. Too. Many. Neon. Colors. -.-

2) It should be obvious... But it's become a burden.

E.g. when asked for a release as there were some fixes... Don't point to the install from master script. Maybe you like it rolling release style - but don't enforce it please. It's hard to use SHA256 hash as a version number and shortening the hash might be a bad idea.

Don't start experiments. If it works - don't throw everything over board without good reasons. E.g. my previous example of GEdit: Turning a valuable text editor into a minimalistic unusable piece of crap and calling it a genius idea for the sake of simplicity... Nope. You murdered a successful product.
Gnome 3 felt like a complete experiment and judging from the last years of changes in the news it was an rather unsuccessful one... As they gave up quite a few of their ideas.

When doing design stuff or other big changes make it a community event or at least put a poll up on the github page. Even If it's an small user base, listen to them instead of just randomly fucking them over.
--
One of my favorite projects is a texteditor called Kate from KDE.

It has a ton of features, could even be seen as a small IDE. The reason I love it because one of the original authors still cares for his creation and ... It never failed me. I use Kate since over 20 years now I think... Oo

Another example is the git cli. It's simple and yet powerful. git add -i is e.g. a thing I really really really love. (memorize the keyboard shortcuts and you'll chunk up large commits faster than flash.

Curl. Yes. The (http) download tool. It's author still cares. It's another tool I use since 20 years. And it has given me a deep insight of how HTTP worked, new protocols and again. It never failed me. It is such a fucking versatile thing. TLS debugging / performance measurements / what the frigging fuck is going on here. Take curl. Find it out.

My worst enemies....

Git based clients. I just hate them. Mostly because they fill the niche of explaining things (good) but completely nuke the learning of git (very bad). You can do any git action without understanding what you do and even worse... They encourage bad workflows.
I've seen great devs completely fucking up git and crying because they had really no fucking clue what git actually does. The UI lead them on the worst and darkest path imaginable. :(

Atlassian products. On the one hand... They're not total shit. But the mass of bugs and the complete lack of interest of Atlassian towards their customers and the cloud movement.... Ouch. Just ouch.

I had to deal with a lot of completely borked up instances and could trace it back to a bug tracking entry / atlassian, 2 - 3 years old with the comment: vote for this, we'll work on a Bugfix. Go fuck yourself you pisswads.

Microsoft Office / Windows. Oh boy.
I could fill entire days of monologues.
It's bad, hmkay?

XEN.
This is not bad.
This is more like kill it before it lays eggs.
The deeper I got into XEN, the more I wanted to lay in a bathtub full of acid to scrub of the feelings of shame... How could anyone call this good?!?????

Fuck you edge cases! This task was supposed to be a breeze and thanks to you it’s turning into a nightmare 🤯

I've just accidentally discovered that Kate (KDE text editor) has also a vi mode...

All company meeting to discuss plans to move office, and they want to change all of the devs to hot-desking?!

Would be interested in your guys experiences if any of you have done it, but I feel I'd be affected a lot as I only work 3-4 days a week.

I literally stood up and left the meeting, saying I'd quit if they did it. I'm far more comfortable and productive with my setup and space. Knowing my co-workers they might think I'm saying it for drama but I think I actually would leave, despite everything else being fine (except HR!).

CSS, I fucking hate you.

I fucking hate my job, because of you. I'm pulling my hair out every day, all day because I have to put up with your bullshit. If it weren't for you, I'd probably enjoy design.

You're not even programming. You're the mistake that happened when web-design developed too rapidly for the devs at the time to keep up and produce intuitive, functional tools. That, or they were just fucking sadists.

You're a band-aid that's started to rot, but we just keep sticking pretty stickers over you and pretending like the wound isn't festering.

I wish I could spend more time learning C and C++. Then I could go get a real job as far away from you as is virtually possible.

. . .

Look, just this once - just for today - could you please do what I fucking ask you to. I mean, I'm just asking you to do your fucking job. That's all.

for( i = 0; i < 10; i++ ){}

!dev
This was a long time ago when I was a pizza delivery guy (summer job). One of my managers could barely handle any pressure. He would often lose it during the dinner rush. He was disorganized and never gave clear directions to his team. One night he totally blew up. He threw a large pizza shovel across the kitchen. It went crashing into the oven in a loud bang. This was in full view of customers on the other side of the counter and several of us workers, all in shock.
It was my last night there as I had handed in my resignation letter two weeks prior. Boy was I glad to get out of there

Mac fucking book pro! No! Just because I brushed up against you doesn’t mean I want you to boot up! Do you think I’m that eager to turn you on? Is the usual brain dead Apple user that fucking lazy to not wanna press a button to turn his computer on? And there’s no fuckin’ way to change this behavior!? I tried changing system variables but none of the suggested tips work. And you even have Apple support people ask: "why WOULN'T you want it to boot up if you sneeze on it?" FUXKKLK

I can't tell you how many hours have been lost because I have accidently clicked and dragged a file in to some random spot in the solution explorer!

Interestingly enough, the worst JavaScript code I’ve ever had to deal with was written by back-enders coming from a Java background. The app was unusable and it took me a few weeks to put it back on track.
So is JS the culprit, or is it the elite backend community that fails to even try to make good use of it? 🤡

My company is (supposedly) all about collaborative work, pair programming, getting on calls and cRaCKinG tHinGs ToGEtheR. Also (and rightfully so) we’re not supposed to approve any PRs if tests weren’t created/updated.
Of course that applies to all but the old timers in the company who simply act like lone cowboys. They fall off the face of the earth for two-three days then reappear with monster PRs full of untested code.

Leave it up to the plebe then to try to make sense of the mess they’ve created, to challenge them with the fact that the PRs are lacking tests (only to be met with excuses about not having anymore time to spend on the subject).
Reprimand the plebe for not reviewing PRs thoroughly enough. Leave it up to them to fix the resulting bugs.

I’ve lost all trust in our managers, tech leads, lead devs and their guidelines and rules that only apply to others but rarely to themselves. These people that then have the audacity to criticize the tech team in it’s entirety for not being rigorous enough in its processes.
Fuck them all

I've just got in from bar* work, a little drunk*!

My last dev employer actually offered me my old job back, but as HR are so awful I said the situation was past that and demanded compensation. A nice payout agreed for me, for not taking it to tribunal 👍

Now for the new job! I thought working the night scene would be fun, but it's not well paid and the freelance I have is but it's hard to juggle the two.

I might have a break or a month or so doing this, then look for another job.

Anyone recommend good companies LGBT friendly in London?

[Half question / half rant]

Would you rather work with a laid-back, humorous colleague who produces shit code and won’t understand advice for improvement?
Or would you rather work with someone who’s more serious, even slightly boring, but who takes quality seriously and is open to advice?

Yes I’ve worked with both types. Hands down I prefer working with the latter. With the first dude I’ll have good conversations and a good laugh at his puns and jokes. But at the end of the day I’m pulling my hair trying to make sense of his code and spending a shitload of time reviewing his PRs just to make sure he’s not fucking things up even more.

Product owner (who is also the application administrator): please build feature to allow administrators to create automatic alerts to be sent to application users

Me: ok
Feature gets built, tested and deployed to production

Two months later:
PO: I've noticed in our monitoring tool that there haven't been any alerts sent out to users. What's going on??

Me: well have you created any automatic alerts?

PO: umm, no. How do we do that?

Me (inside): 🤦

Anyone else enjoy "uncropping" images embedded in MS Office documents? People cropping out other windows/tabs from full screenshots... I've seen some weird stuff!

It's not unusual to be sent documentation / screenshots saved as MS Office documents (Word, PowerPoint etc.). Kinda annoying but whatever.

Here I am for three months trying to implement TypeScript in this project that was a dump when I picked it up.
And then some morons get assigned to the project and just start adding @ts-nocheck everywhere?
Like, WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?

And then you wonder why the project is bug-ridden??
FUCK THESE PEOPLE THAT CALL THEMSELVES JAVASCRIPT ENGINEERS!! NO WONDER JS GETS SUCH BAD PRESS WITH ALL THESE CLUELESS IDIOTS TO WHOM STATIC TYPING IS JUST AN OBSTACLE TO THEM CHURNING OUT LINE AFTER LINE OF "CODE"

What's worse in an open office?

A) Music
B) People

(Shamelessly stolen from Twitter, credit @dustin)

Exploring new ways to learn how to code

I wanted to develop a programming language since all programming languages have some shortcoming of their owns so as I walk further along in developing custom parser generator and so forth, I get to the point where I have to consider implementing the Language Server Protocol for the programming language only to realize that while ironically LSP was supposed to make it easy to to have autocompletion features and other stuff made available to other editors, you still end up requiring to make plugins/extensions for such editor like Visual Studio and Visual Studio Codes anyway despise the fact that LSP was meant to solve that. Meanwhile over at Linux Land, we have Kate editor that can be configured to simply connect to LSP server and require no plugin/extension to do so, you just specify it in json config and that's that.

Microsoft... you created LSP protocol and yet you want Plugin/Extensions still for VSCode/Visual Studio even though LSP was made to address that... Make up your mind, ffs. P.S. I have no interest in writing 100,000 LOC of extension/plugin for your editor if it can't get it's $#!^ together.

You don’t have a choice

So about two months ago in my consulting firm I was asked to replace a colleague on a project (node and Angular). The project is only a few months old but it’s already a total clusterfuck. DB is very poorly designed. It’s supposed to be a relational database but there’s not a trace of a foreign key or any key for that matter and I’ve seen joins like tableA.name = tableB.description (seriously, that’s your relation??). The code is a mess with entire blocks of code copied from another project and many parts of the code aren’t even used. He didn’t even bother renaming variables so they would make sense in the context they were shamelessly thrown into. The code is at best poorly typed if not typed at all.

During our dailies I sometimes express my frustration with my other colleagues as I very politely allude to my predecessor’s code as being hard to work with. (They are all “good friends" with him). I always get the same response from my colleagues: "yeah but you’ve gotta understand Billybob was under a lot of pressure. The user stories were not well defined. He didn’t have time to do a proper job". That type of response just makes me boil inside.

Because you think I have time to deal with this shit? You don’t think I’m working with the same client and his user stories that are barely intelligible? How long does it take to write type definitions for parameters going into a function? That’s right, 30 seconds at most? Maybe a minute if it’s a more elaborate object? How much time do you think you’ll save yourself with a properly typed function or better yet an interface? Hard to tell but certainly A LOT MORE than those 30 seconds you lost (no, the 30 seconds you INVESTED) in writing that interface!!!

FUCK people with their excuses! Never tell me you don’t have time to do a proper job! You’ve wasted HOURS of my time just because you were too fucking lazy to type your functions, too lazy to put just a little more thought into designing your tables, too lazy to rename a variable so that it’s name actually makes sense where it’s being used. It’s not because you were short on time. You’re just lazy!
FUCK!!!!!!

"Never assume..it rarely is as you might think"

"This is now urgent we are in risk of breach of contract."

*travels an hour just to discuss*

"Oh don't worry, don't panick about it, so and so is probably sorting it. We most likely don't need it."

Nothing but love for my coworker;
but my coworker (who's a fellow programmer for at least 3 years) thought the `continue` statement in a `foreach` literally meant to keep going with the code.

He was confused his code after the continue didn't run. xD

Thursday afternoon. Client gives us the go to deploy the latest release to production.
Friday late afternoon; my colleague - "wait, did we ever deploy"? Me - "uh, nope".
"Alright have a good weekend"

My first ever dev project was a website I setup with my dad, it was for my uncle's company. 😃

You can barely call it a dev project because we did it in WordPress and the only thing we touched was a bit of HTML and a bunch of CSS 😅,
but it was really fun working together with my (programmer) dad and it motivated me to study programming as well.

The site turned out ugly as fuck, but the standards for websites are very low where my uncle is from so that wasn't a problem. 😊

I earned 90€ and bought myself a new mouse (Logitech G502), which I still use now 4/5 years later. 😎

Many "purists" love to piss on JavaScript and web development. And to an extent I can understand ostream’s frustration with these people.
It’s easy to criticize because yes: many web projects are indeed shit.

But I’d like to argue that the reason why so many of these projects are crappy is because of bad management:
- unrealistic deadlines
- no clear testing strategy
- or no testing at all because of deadlines
- no time allotted to catch up on technical debt
- etc.

This type of management is far more commonplace in web projects because things need to get delivered quickly and if they’re delivered with bugs, it’s no big deal as lives aren’t at stake.

I doubt this type of management is tolerated in projects where you’re working on software for welding machines (for example), where the stakes are that "you’re expected not to kill anyone" (to quote demolishun)

So in these types of projects, management can’t tolerate anything much below perfection and thus has to adapt by setting realistic deadlines that take into account the need for quality processes and thorough testing.

If this type of management was more common in web development, I can guarantee that web applications would be much more reliable and of better quality.
I can also guarantee that poorly managed non-web projects as outlined above would be just shitty as many web products.

My point being that’s it’s really DUMB to criticize fellow devs that work with web technologies on the basis that the state of websites/web apps is a mess. It just so happens that JS is the language of the web and that the web is where things are expected to be delivered quickly (and dirty … but we can fix it later mentality)
Stop acting like you’re the elite. I have no doubt you’re super smart and great at what you do. So be smart all the way and stop criticizing us poor webdevs that have to live with the sad state of affairs. ❤️

Anyone have experience taking SSRIs? What's the first week or so like, did it help long term, and any withdrawal issues?

Today was a bad dev day working on a shitty React project. Not that React in itself is bad, but it can be hell to work with when the code is a big pile a crap full of anti pattern code. I spent the day refactoring to try to fix a bug, but to no avail. It would take days if not weeks to put some order in this mess and to prevent such bugs.

Me reviewing PRs lately:
"Should I fight it now, or should I let the abscess grow?"
——
But in my distress/demotivation it’s usually: peace now, pain later

In my previous job, they made me feel like they were lucky to have me. In my current job they try make me feel like I’m lucky to work for them.
I certainly preferred the precious position where I felt valued for what I brought to the company.

If I have any advice to give, it’s the following: if your current employer appreciates your work and treats you well, you should stay there a long as possible.

Also I’m wondering if my current employer purposefully makes its employees lose their confidence so they don’t go job hunting as they may feel they’re not good enough anymore to apply elsewhere.

I’m thinking of jumping ship but damn have I lost confidence over the past months…

When is this ever NOT the case ?

JavaScript is to programming languages what English is to natural languages.
You heard me!

Devs who use the array map method for purposes other than generating a new array, and who use an empty return statement to satisfy the linter, should receive a slap in the face. A gentle one, but a slap nonetheless

NDAs for me are a good predictor for a bad client or client relationship.

Doesn't work so well for larger cos, and it's not unusual for them to require one anyway.

I charge a fairly high flat fee for signing one. The people who won't pay probably don't need the NDA anyway and were going to be problematic.

A UK bank (building society) are giving away a free home security camera if you take out their home insurance product.

Seriously!? I do NOT want to install a camera, given to me by my bank, in my flat!

Life is to short to deal with not refactored code...

Improvement request: if search doesn’t return anything the search text is erased. It’d be nice if it didn’t so we can amend our search more easily.
Thanks 😀

I'd like to locally encrypt files before syncing it with the cloud; what's the "best" software available for this?

I'm currently switching to STACK as my cloud service (it's a file hosting service for Dutch people that offers 1TB of free storage).
But I don't feel fully comfortable with them having access to all my personal data.

So I came to the conclusion that it would be best to locally encrypt files before syncing it with STACK. I DuckDuckGo'd but there seems to be a lot of software available for this so I'm not sure which one to use.

Which one could you recommend me? I'd prefer a free software but I'm okay with paying as long as it isn't too expensive.

I'm new in the programming world; when I need to learn something new I generally look at documentation and articles to get an understanding of the basics.
Then, if it's still interesting to me, I just try it out.

Sometimes I might ask a fellow more experienced programmer or a teacher to explain it to me.

I’m an app developer and my company wants to take away admin rights on everybody’s PCs (Windows). I won’t even have the right to adjust my computer’s clock time. I’ve been working there for over a year and a half. There haven’t been any issues whatsoever, and now this. To be frank I’m a bit pissed about it. Nothing is on premise, the projects I’m working on are apps hosted with Azure / gitlab.
I’d be curious to hear about your experiences related to this topic. Also if you have any opinons against or for such measures, if be happy to hear.

it's 5.30 AM
im tired
i want sleep
but got to work

I recently purchased a new laptop, so I needed some stickers for it.
Luckily I was still able to request some free devrant stickers. (:

My devRant swag and some other stickers I ordered all arrived in the past week.

Pic related

"Who ever said money can't solve your problems?

Must not have had enough money to problem to solve them."

Bitter truth for many.

any of you guys listen to programming-related podcasts? 🎧
I recently came across "Syntax", a podcast on web development. They cover pretty basic stuff but I still find it interesting.
Would love to know if there are any other podcasts on programmin 🙂

I saw this piece of code, one of my colleagues at work wrote it.
The content in in the function also had 0 comments.
Sorry for posting this here co-worker but it sincerely bothered me.

// Delete all
function deleteAllFunction(){
...
}

This is how it works in my company:
-> Spend entire day in meetings - don’t get anything done.
-> Start working at 6pm if you want to get anything done.

Those who have gotten promotions are the ones that have bought into this system.
I guess I won’t be getting a promotion any time soon

Is it better to buy a cheap laptop and work by remote connecting to a powerful PC, or to just buy a powerful laptop?

context:
I like playing video games, I also sometimes program using Visual Studio + Unity which is also pretty heavy. Because of this I know I need a powerful machine.

my thoughts:
Now I could buy a "gaming" laptop, It's portable (useful for LAN-parties) but it's expensive and doesn't last as long as a PC.

I could also buy a powerful PC with a cheap used laptop, I could do most work on this laptop and if I need to do something more powerful I could remote to my PC.
But this would require internet at all times and i'm worried that working over remote might not be the smoothest experience.

when you just had to drink that Kate coffee to get that last bit done and commited but as a result is completely unable to sleep.. ends up in a train of thoughs with a hint of philosophy... weep woop before you know it, your night sent Warp speed to bright outside..

finally i feel tired.. fml.

I’m rarely at the initiative of a meeting, but when I am, my approach is: what questions need to to be answered? Time spent in the meeting is answering those questions without beating around the bush. I request precise answers, no "we shoulds" or vague responses. Meeting usually ends with clear answers/resolutions written down and shared so there aren’t any "that’s not what we agreed upon"

the ugly pixelated characters probably resemble y'all much better than the old ones. 😂

I must say the worst thing is the whole "branding" of closed and open source software. Giving systems/platforms/repositories/projects/libraries names that makes no sense, just for the sake of standing out. Just god damn call a shoe for a shoe...the difference lies in the creator/maintainers and not in the fucking name...sry

devRant has become such a dump. At this point I’m wondering when dfox and trogus are finally going to decide to pull the plug

This is a place for ranting, right? It's "Dev"-"Rant", right?
So, why so much hate when people do actually rant?
Kinda defeats the purpose, doesn't it? Or maybe the name is just misleading...
Or maybe y'all just gate-keeping ranting - which is... ya, okay - you do you, you preppy tosser.

Anyway, on that note:
I fucking hate web-development.
I fucking hate CSS.

CSS isn't a tool, it's a curse.
It's like a soft black magic system:
This specific behavior can sometimes be created by combining these specific elements, but will fall apart if you're a gemini - unless you wore a colorful hat at your fifth birthday party. If you didn't have a party, it'll produce some random behavior of the deer-god's choosing.

A programmer must have named this place

The feeling when you make some fundamental change in the codebase and thinks "this should make some integration tests fail", but it doesn't 😬😅

I’m sooo excited when any new frontend JS framework is available. Angular, React, more recently Vue, Svelte. Bring ‘em on. I wanna try them all.

Just kidding…
As long as the tools at hand allow me to get the job done, keep clients and end users happy, I don’t give a fuck.
This meme is actually the epitome of what I hate with a lot of web developers I’ve encountered

I feel like some developers focus too much on concepts like clean code, software craftsmanship, TDD and so forth, to a point where they almost forget end user needs (ease of use, intuitive experiences, general UX principles).
Don’t get me wrong. I do my best to stick to a decent standard of quality and maintainability. However my solutions are adapted to the specific needs that are being addressed rather than the other way around.
I’ve heard some devs say things to the effect of ”well I know that’s not most intuitive behavior for the user but it’s the cleaner way to do it, so the user will just have to figure it out“. So in essence they’re just coding for their own pleasure rather than addressing user needs

When debugging, why oh why do I forget that multiple browser consoles can be open and then get frustrated when refreshing the tab doesn't show my changes?!

On a night out and posting on social media...

My friend: Hannah from HR is gonna love this one

😭

Me always: never installing MacOS updates because something always breaks

Mac always: Updates available! Install now??

Me today: *installs MacOS updates*

Mac today: *refuses to boot*

Happy Easter!

A colleague changes the location of a test helper file imported in a bunch of tests. Doesn’t bother to check where that file is imported (except where he’s specifically using it himself).

As a result good dozen tests fail later on. The culprit doesn’t realize. And the rest of us have no clue why.

Multiple people are asked to look into why the tests are failing.

"Ok, who’s working on what?
We’ll create a shared document to track who’s working on what test."

Document is created, people get assigned.

"Hold on, looks like it’s just a faulty import." "Oh yeah same here." "Yeah for me as well."

"Ok we could simply appoint one person to fix all the imports."

"Well I’ve already gone ahead and opened a pull request to fix the test I was appointed to."

"Ah ok, well who can take care of the rest?"

"Wait I also opened a PR."

"Ok so I guess we can each open a PR?" "No we can just have a single branch we can all push to".

"Sure, who’s branch are we using"

"You can use the branch of my PR"

"Guys let me handle this, it’s ridiculous for us to all be doing this separately."

"You’re right, go ahead".

——

The culprit? A senior dev.

What would have literally taken a minute to do (or even no time at all with proper use of the IDE) turned into hours of wasted time. People getting interrupted, having to drop what they were doing to fix the consequences of this guy’s laziness (seriously don’t know what else to call it).
Ok maybe our reaction could have been more efficient, but we never should’ve even gotten to that point in the first place.

Sharepoint. 😭

Non tech hobby of mine: bird watching (you may have guessed based on my username). Although it’s a non tech hobby, there are so many great apps to help identify birds and learn about them. EBird, birdnet, Merlin, picture bird etc. I also have a few books about bird watching.

Crazy how many different kinds of birds you can see when you really start paying attention.

i hate it when comedians smile too much.

it's like they are trying to pander or something. Or compensate the lack of material or humor

God it's so awkward because they smile as if implying that they are funny.

It feels like they are trying to hypnotize the audience into thinking they are funny.

Or as if they were your friends, I don't know what it is, but it's fucking awful.

Isn't smiling back is an evolutionary trait? Marketing folks like to brainwash people with their smiles so there has to be some truth to it.

But the last damn thing I want marketing to corrupt is stand up humor.

Just count how many times jerrod carmichael smiles. Or kate mckinnon.

God fucking dammit, let me decide if you are funny.

You can have good material with meh delivery, but not the other way around, I'm not a fucking baby laughing as a reflex, I can understand sentences.

Can PMs still reasonably require web apps to be compatible with Internet Explorer? Does the "you gotta to tailor to everyone’s needs" argument still stand nowadays? I ask this because I’ve been working on a client project for about two years now and last time they asked for IE compatibility was about a year ago. I’m preparing for the next time it absolutely stops functioning with IE to debunk their desire to remain stuck in the year 2003.
I know Microsoft simply isn’t supporting it anymore and are discouraging anyone from using it. I feel like it should be enough of an argument. However, often times enough isn’t enough. Anybody have any arguments or examples of why it’s a terrible idea to stick with it?

Tired of seeing people showing off their bootcamp certification on LinkedIn as if they had just climbed Mount Everest, and as if they were about to enter the most glamorous field of work one could imagine.
OK I went through a bootcamp myself but I certainly knew I was still a baby upon completion of the journey and still consider I have a veeery long way to go today after two years of dev work experience. Also I knew working as a developer probably wouldn’t be as awesome as these bootcamps make it out to be. In fact it’s everything but glamorous when you take into account the stress, the dynamics with coworkers, POs, PMs, shitty management, wacky clients, weird demands, deadlines etc.
Don’t get me wrong. I enjoy being a developer and have more or less been able handle the workload and expectations. But for goodness sake stop drilling into bootcampers’ heads that it’s gonna be amazing and that they’re doing incredible things. Congratulate them for their hard work and then wish them good luck because they’re going to need it. Bootcampers, stay humble. Be prepared for the worst while hoping for the best

Testing out VR without your own VR equipment is a pain.
The glasses are not much of a problem, since you can first develop using the google cardboard SDK and test it with your phone.

It's the controllers that are a pain to test. Luckily vrtk made something that simulates the controllers, which can be controlled with the keyboard.

The controls are very uncomfortable, this is not their fault; you can't really emulate movement easily with a keyboard.

Someone in the train seat in front of me is chewing bubblegum really loudly for 20 minutes now...my "annoyance-meter" 🌡️ is starting to go off...
What should I do?

Hopefully at work we have successfully migrated from a combination of MySQL and Mongo to only Postgres. Also we finally split up our monolith into medium sized services, so we can actually do something interesting and update our dependencies.
And port one of the services from Java Struts to Django..
..but that is only if developers were to set the plan...if sales/management: new feature here! new feature there! sell sell sell! No time for maintenance!

There are as many "good practices" as there are developers. Everyone holds the absolute truth. (At least it’s the feeling I get, and it drives me crazy sometimes)

How do you guys deal with looking for a new job while still working at your current job?
I’ve been having to sneak out of the office for phone interviews. Not fun…

How can someone be applauded like a hero for fixing a bug when he’s the one who caused it in the first place?
Gosh Bill, thanks for saving the day! The least the guy could do is acknowledge he fixed something HE broke. But that’s wishful thinking on my part, isn’t it…

Anyone here use generator functions in JS? Seems like it could be useful but whenever I explore the possibility of using one, I usually end up going another route

Any of you devs having a degree in informatics or similar? Or is mostly CS?

Lately with our client, everything has become very "urgent" and top priority. So much so that I’m asked to drop a top priority issue to tackle a new top priority issue, and then asked to drop that one too to take on another new “even more“ top priority task. In the end they’ll all have to be dealt with but dang I’m losing all sense of continuity, I’m losing my efficiency as my flow keeps on being broken by something new I have to jump to and in the end I’m kinda losing my sanity. Fuck this!

Working from home, the office is pretty unbearable in this heat.

Anyone else feel like conference calls in your underwear is a top work from home perk!

!rant

Installed a json formatter chrome extension. Life is changed forever.

I don’t get people who introduce their messages with TLDR.
Dude if it’s too long, then make it shorter! Or simply don’t start with TLDR if your content needs to be lengthy

I was hired to work on an Android application written in java. Spent three months working on a project written in C++ instead. Needless to say I had no prior experience with C++ at that time.

Coursemates tried to convince me that putty was the programming language we were learning in our Intro to Programming class, not C. I thought they were joking, turns out they were dead serious.

I've just finshed a cours about service-oriented architecture in my uni and a lot of people are "complaining" about SOA becasue it's not used so much these days and it's a waste of time to learn it. What's your take on this? Do you use or have SOA in your company or use it in some way? Any rants about stuff you learned in school that were completely outdated? A friends friend finished uni about two years ago and they had a big course in Flash...

Fuck. Less than six hours before I'm in work. Time for bed! Let's see what that bitch Hannah from HR has to say when I'm back! I've stepped up my social media game🤣

Just finished the night job at 5am. Looking forward to a good rest tomorrow! Not looking forward to correcting my sleeping pattern for Monday 😭

I was a bootcamper. I’m on my first job now (I’m still currently at the same place after a year and a half). Doing web development (all JS/TS) with node, react and angular. I started it out working with another guy and now I’m alone. I’ve made more progress being alone since I’ve had to take on stuff my colleague was doing. But with being alone comes more pressure as it’s all on me and when shit hits the fan I don’t really have anybody I can fall back on. Also I feel like I’m missing out on team dynamics and learning from other people I could be working with. In any case I’m learning a lot, I’m meeting the deadlines and getting the job done. It’s a good first experience.

$cash me outside, how 'bout that?

What do people use (I'm specifically interested in UK, but all answers welcome!) for P2P payments?

I like square cash, just so that I can say that. Monzo next, and the I guess direct bank transfer but only with a handful of people I really know. You wouldn't want to give it to stranger, and its a cumbersome process.

I do some freelancing on the site, make a bit of cash and it's a bit different to the day job.

It can itself be pretty dull or boring, but at least I can drop the client when the project's over and try to find something interesting.

Anyways, I'm logged into a client Google account to do some domain admin on a GSuite account. Logged into Incognito so that it doesn't interrupt my usual session.

Get a bit distracted and sidetracked, end up searching for porn... in Incognito... in the client's session! 💀

Quickly clear search history and hope that does it!

Tell me someone else has done this too??

Have any devs done bar work before..?

I've always enjoyed doing things outside of work, and I work 3-4 days a week in my main job to create time for this. It's great for my mental health, and means I can optimise the main job for pay/good benefits and fulfil my "other needs" (stimulation/challenge/enjoyment) in other places.

The main things for me are dev contracting on the side or acting/singing, to a lesser extent travel, a bit of activism and law study. Just because 🤷‍♂️

Especially re: my last rant with *that* email from HR on Friday, I'm tempted to be a bit more strict about only doing three days and picking up something else.

Although I know the pay is awful, I really want to try bar work on the side just to do something different.

Has anyone else done bar work before?

Kate Tribeca: because Mr. Bout _loved_ cocktail number 9 during the last interrogation.

Being lazy sometimes and writing type definitions after I’m done developing something rather than before (hence wasting time as doing that work is meant to help with the development process in the first place...)

Nobody likes chatbots/conversational UI for anything other than chat, right?

I have a savings app with conversational UI. I press one of a number of options e.g. "Savings". There's this artificial delay after the network request has been made so that it looks like the app is typing back at you. Why???

You then get another limited set of options, or you can tap "Back". These options are supposedly as if you typed it back as a response.

I can get three "questions" (levels) deep, let's say to deposit cash, only for it to turn around and say that I've reached a daily/weekly limit? At each level there's this awful delay, and you already knew I wouldn't be able to perform the action regardless of my responses after my very first "message"!

Why is this good/popular? And the whole thing totally breaks if there's any loss of connectivity.

Stop it. Please.