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I went to Paris for my first interview (that was 1989) for a job of Unix kernel developer. All dressed up. I step out of the elevator and see a young punk with scruffy hair and different colour shoes. I reckon he must be the pizza delivery guy. I ask him "dude, can you please point me to the CEO's office for interview". He said "sure, follow me man, I'll show you". We arrive at a desk, he sat down in the big chair and looks at me with a big smile and says "Ok dude, here we are. I am the CEO. Now let's see how good you are!"
I got the job. And 26 years latet, last week, amazing coincidence: I met him again at a trade show in Paris ... with the same coloured shoes. How cool is that!!!
29 -
!geek girlfriend
Me and my partner are in the car driving. We drive by a young girl who is on her scooter. I look at my gf and ask,
Me: do you sometimes have some weird thoughts in mind (and nothing relating to sex her just so you know).
Her: well what do you mean?
Me: well i se that person scootering on the sidewalk and i imagine screaming at her like a lunatic “GET THE FUCK OFF THE ROAD PUNK” (which the little girl clearly isn't).
She laughs.
Her: yeah，i do too but it's more scientific， like sometimes i wonder how many times some one would flip. In the air if i hit them with the car or how long would it take some one to reach the ground if i pushed them off the balcony.
....
Me: silence...
Skin goes white
Her: looks at me with a big smile!!!
Im not sure if this is good or bad ;)23 -
I worked at a place where the help desk guys did the good ol' "I'll send an email from your laptop if you walk away without locking it and tell everyone lunch is on you" routine. After it happened to me about 3 times I was like, "I gotta get this help desk prick back!" So after several failed attempts at walking by his pc when he walked away it instantly hit me how I can punk him back.....SO, I logged onto SQL Server, clicked open a new query window and typed up a dbmail command and on the @from parameter I set it to the help desk guy's email address. His face was PRICELESS when I was shooting off emails to the entire IT dept on behalf of him WHILE he was sitting in front of his PC. Lesson is: don't fuck with dev help desk dude! 😎😜2
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"Do you like your job? I mean, all those collored lines in that funny font... sitting at the desk with this adorable rubber duck... Do you guys jus".....
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Me: "SHUT UP YOU STUPID ASSHOLE!!! I MADE 26 COMMITS DURING THIS FUCKING DAY, THE DAY THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE LAST WORKING DAY OF THIS SHITTY YEAR! I HAVE NOT SLEPT AS I SHOULD AT ALL CAUSE THIS FUCKING MIGRATION OF NEW YEAR'S UPDATE AND NOW... AHH NOW YOU STUPID FYCKING PSYCHO... NOW I HAVE TO CONTROLL MYSELF DURING NEXT DINNER WITH FRIENDS, HAVE NO MUCH ALCOHOL CAUSE DURING SUNDAY, EVEN ITS A FUCKING HOLIDAY AND EVEN IF I AM IN A LOOONNGG HANGOVER, I DO STILL NEED TO COMPLETE THIS FUCKING NEW YEAR MIGRATION YOU ASS PUNK! GO FUCK YOURSELF YOU LITLE USELESS TINY LITLE SHIT!!!"
And this is how I see my new years resolution: the time is priceles doing this questions to me...
Happy new year, fellazz! 💃🎆🎉2 -
Buy it, use it, break it, fix it
Trash it, change it, mail - upgrade it
Charge it, point it, zoom it, press it
Snap it, work it, quick - erase it
Write it, cut it, paste it, save it
Load it, check it, quick - rewrite it
Plug it, play it, burn it, rip it
Drag and drop it, zip - unzip it
Lock it, fill it, call it, find it
View it, code it, jam - unlock it
Surf it, scroll it, pause it, click it
Cross it, crack it, switch - update it
Name it, rate it, tune it, print it
Scan it, send it, fax - rename it
Touch it, bring it, pay it, watch it
Turn it, leave it, start - format it10 -
string work_it, make_it, do_it, makes_us;
if(work_it=="harder") {
make_it="better";
if(make_it=="better") {
do_it="faster";
if(do_it=="faster") {
makes_us="stronger";
}}}3 -
Dude claimed that he had good practise of DS and problem solving.
My senior gave him a tough one to solve. Couldn't. Started shouting in between the interview that we tricked him with wrong question. Senior sat him down, told him how it was a right question. Dude got pissed. Stormed out of our office. Posted a review on Glassdoor calling our interview process rubbish and unnecessarily difficult.
HAAH!8 -
I just had my worst hackathon so far and need to puke my whole toxic hatred, the rant will be full of hate so be warned. (I just don't want to let it go on my girlfriend, but I need to shout it out loud somewhere)
First of all, it is alright to be a beginner at a hackathon. It is also alright to not know that much about coding and want to learn. But it is not alright to lie about your skill, pretend to be a senior programmer and waste my fucking time.
Don't even fucking dare to say your are "fit" in Android development if you just have done some foobar tutorial on YouTube, don't even bother to read the document and have literally non existent knowledge about computer science.
Why the fucking hell do you need to pretend to be a seasoned programmer if you are just a bloody beginner? I mean you are in a hackathon full of computer nerds so soon or later your impostor ass will be debunked so what is the point?
And the other guy. Why the fucking hell did.'t you say that you just begin Python for 3 months? You are not a fucking developer if you just started coding for 3 fucking months. Learn some fucking coding before starting with machine learning you fucking punk ass bitch script kiddie.
Alright, maybe I was too naive to not check my teammates' background before make a team with them. Fuck me and my fucking stupid ass. My dumb ass monkey brain fell for big mouths, I deserved the headache right now and none less.
Lesson learned!9 -
Breakdown of a casual work day:
50%- typing the same commands over and over again in my terminal and watching things build.
10% - lunch, coffee, attending nature’s calls, staring into space enjoying the headphone music.
10% - googling solutions. Only to find that 3 minutes later you’re reading a wikihow page on how to moonwalk.
10% - talking to fellow humans
10% - typing my password to unlock my computer. Mac users exclusive -typing keychain passwords
5% - contemplating what will happen if you suddenly get up and start dancing. Will you start a flash mob?
5% - random thoughts continue...why am I here? Why am I not partnering with Daft Punk to release a single?6 -
1. Keep your rythm: 7/8 hours of sleep each day and DON'T take your work home. Unless you have your own business ofcourse. Still: don't wear yourself out!
2. Put on music. Me personally like fast punk when i'm struggling with a deadline. Makes you want to go faster.
3. Close ALL communication like chats, mail etc. Hell i even thought of a sign "do not disturb"
4. Coffee. Lot's of coffee
5. Use a time tracking method like pomodoro5 -
Tried buying the .com version of my website that some punk in FL stole right from under my nose... Offered $3000 for it and now he's saying he wants 10k. Time to find a new domain and maybe business name 😭😭😭9
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I want to rant about FaceBook ads. If you go through my likes and pages I follow you'd be certain I'm a teenage boy - anime, robotics/CV labs, motocross clubs, sport car brands, skateparks, punk bands....
What ads do I get? Underwear that absorbs your period, cosmetics and wedding dresses. It's like they totally discard my personal preferences and show me ads that would appeal to the generic 30 year old female.
That's lame.
Fuck, I get ads for "all body type" clothes with plus size models. All that deep learning shit, and you can't see from my images I have a 60cm waist? At least show me the skinny girls brands....21 -
My partner asking me about the code he's working on. This is what happens when two programmers date each other. This was more of an issue when we were both in college, but it still sometimes comes up on occasion.4
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I used to collect rubber ducks back in college. I was absolutely crazy about it and tried getting my hands on almost all different types available like the Punk duck, the Pirate duck, the Weed duck....and so on.
I met this girl who was into the same thing and we ended up banding together to create a sort of webpage where we'd write crazy and hilarious origin stories for each of these ducks. We'd go to great lengths to create ridiculous comic book style encounters between them and had a lot of fun doing it.
We dated for a while but it didn't last.2 -
Worst part of being a dev is that feeling that you're walking up the down escalator. Can't get ahead and if you stop, you're back where you started.
Oh and some punk kids keep passing you on the way! Lol -
!rant
Enough of this damn youtube selecting shit songs for me, so please guys share playlists !
What i am used to :
- macklemore
- Korn
- muse
- nickleback
- system of down
- eminem
- michael bubley
- nirvana
- tarja turunen
- rihana
- christina agilera (wrong spelling i know ...)
Just gave them in my mind's order, i listen to a lot of their songs, but recently there is no fucking good artist at all.
I like to listen to something who moves, not static idiot repetitive songs. I am fed of daft punk.
Please guys share, i can no longer enjoy music !!42 -
punk: the world is not fair, and I hate it
post-punk: the world is not fair, and I love it
ska: the world is not fair, and I have a trumpet2 -
Today was my last piano lesson with my jazzy teacher. I'll miss him. He teached me a lot and I nearly always looked forward to piano lessons.
I brought wine (Mosel life) and 5 songs - 3 jazz classics (It don't mean a Thing, Take Five and Fly me to the Moon), his favorite from the Daft Punk album I borrowed him and one of his own songs (surprise) and we improvised on these songs. I was a little nervous.. or sad but I didn't play as good as yesterday eve. He asked me why I never did that before. He'd love to practice improvising with me because I suck at reading sheet music (I said that and I'm a lazy learner with sheets).
R.I.P. Monday afternoon.1 -
The shady company that tried to interview me for a data entry job when I applied as a software developer called me. They left a message asking if I was still interested in a help desk position. Like nope and I never was. Been working at my current job as a software engineer for over a month. Try finding people who actually want the jobs you're offering!6
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I put the same song in a forever loop.
There are 3 stages each increasingly stronger! :
Level one: get lucky - daft punk
Level two: whiskey in a jar - Metallica cover
Level three: gangnam style - psy
I close all im, email and whatnot and code till exhaustion.
I normally listen to metal and classical music BTW.
It works2 -
Does anyone have that one song which they listen to while programming?
Mine is Harder Better Faster Stronger by daft punk13 -
I used to have a spiky punk emo hair in my teens. Now I look like a dork with thick framed eye glasses.3
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As I walk through the valley of the shadow of dev
I take a look at my life and realize there's nothin' left
‘Cause I've been codin' and proper formattin' so long that
even my momma thinks that my mind is gone
But I ain't never del'd a row that didn't deserve it
Me be treated like a punk, you know that's unheard of
You better watch how you codin' and what you pastin'
Or you and your homies might be lined in Q
I really hate to trip, but I gotta loc
As they croak, I see myself in the compiler smoke
Fool,
I'm the kinda D that little homies wanna be like
On my keys middle row, typin' prayers on stackoverflow
Keep spending most our lives
Livin' in a dev's paradise
Been spending most their lives
Livin' in a dev's paradise1 -
Daft Punk in my headphones and I’m ready to gooooo! This makes writing code so much more enjoyable 😬
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When your partner decides right as you are able to sleep is the time to be worrying. No that freckle on your arm doesn't look like a bed bug bite. You've obviously never seen a bedbug bite. Now I have to look them up on Google to prove I'm correct. ಠ_ಠ4
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Why is there a motification for upvotes but not downvotes. I wanna see which punk downvoted my comments and harass him online!16
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#define AUDIOLB_EXIT_ON_ERROR(hres) \
if (FAILED(hres)) { goto Exit; }
#define AUDIOLB_SAFE_RELEASE(punk) \
if ((punk) != NULL) \
{ (punk)->Release(); (punk) = NULL; }
Looking through old audio code I wrote. Found these macros. Will most likely reuse for a new project. It works damnit!
Do you feel lucky?!7 -
I've had my share of both good and bad coworkers.
My best memories are definitely from the late 90's, early 2k's. The team I was a part of back then really had the best attitude. I particularly remember one of them, who ended up being a PM. He was always joking around, nothing was ever too serious to make fun of. He was an old school punk, and it did show. Although he was always professional in meetings with customers and when it mattered. If I'm not totally mistaken, he started a punk band in his fifties, where noone knew how to play or sing. Great guy!
In my current job, all the good and nice people are either quitting or bullied out of the company. I miss them. Sigh. -
Chemical Brothers for hard core coding.
Panic! At the Disco for mid-day programming.
My Chemical Romance for late evening debugging.
One can say I have a punk coding style .6 -
If I see a question from you on stackoverflow or redit, discord, spectrum, slack and the answer is written literally for a 10 year old in the first paragraph of the documentation you are a punk.
If you answer questions like that with 3 paragraph answers to show off you are also a punk, a punk who creates spam for other punks to keep punking.8 -
Try to upload ipa archive to iTunes. Service is interrupted. Again. Fuck you apple! I was trying to upload that fuck for six damn u punk ass times. Why apple? Fuck you! I'll put the archive on a stick an ram it right into your ass you shitty fuck! JUST TAKE MY BINARY RIGHT NOW!
Don't take it to serious. I'm okay 😎 -
To build a machine that syncs with and does stuff according to the lyrics of "Technologic" by Daft Punk.
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You know ya listening to too much daft punk when you start calling methods after the song your listening too, SearchDaFunc Func returning to a polling Func, anyway here's Da Funk
https://youtube.com/watch/... -
I'm not sure. Was considering becoming a pharmacist when I was in high school. Also was considering becoming a graphic designer. If I had enough money to just quit being a programmer today and couldn't go back to programming, maybe teaching computer science or being an artist.
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I'm the guinea pig at my job for them training new people. Just got a list of steps for installing a company specific library. Already found a mistake in it :D
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Sorry if this seems off topic but I think a lot of devs like Daft Punk. So here's their majestic portrait from TheWeeknd's "Starboy" music video.
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Guitars and genres they're shine at:
• Les Paul: Alternative, Progressive, Indie, Hard rock, Psychedelic rock, Classic rock, Punk, Folk, Glam, Grunge, Blues, Southern rock, Garage rock, Post-rock, New wave, Shoegaze, Heavy metal, Stoner, Emo…
• Strat0caster: Alternative, Progressive, Indie, Hard rock, Psychedelic rock, Classic rock, Punk, Folk, Glam, Grunge, Blues, Southern rock, Garage rock, Post-rock, New wave, Shoegaze, Heavy metal, Stoner, Emo…
• PRS: lawyer blues5 -
I had to go into the office just to fill out one piece of paperwork and now I'm here waiting 20 minutes for the next bus cause I just missed the one before it :/1
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So... According to this chart devs should not listen to heavy metal and punk...
https://columnfivemedia.com/work-it...2 -
The professor that made us use ada. This course was in 2018. Not useful to real world and also hard af. Was a great professor good at teaching and a great guy - just the course was hard as fuck and if you were struggling it was hard to find resources.
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