I had to go help marketing with a website UI issue today:

Me: What version of IE are you using?
Her: Oh my god! Did you say virgin?
Me: No, "Version".
Her: Hahaha you guys I thought he asked what virgin am I using!
*room erupts into laughter*

WTF is this high school?

Poor little CPU 😁

The struggle is real

When you use a PC to open a zip file made on a Mac

Ever thought about what happens if you place your laptop on the hot stove?
Our HR Manager certainly didn't...

Fantastic sorting algorithm, O(1) runtime, so amazing

stove with rice-tracing technology

What my friends think I can do

I've been coding for over 8 years, and whenever a recruiter says we have you do these coding challenges or recite them an algorithm from memory, I say "You know, the longer you've been programming, the less you remember how to do this stuff, because you don't use it in real life." They say, "Well we just want to see how you think and how you solve problems." B.S.
These types of algorithmic programming challenges besides the simpler ones don't show how you think. A lot of stuff like the dynamic programming and other optimization problems were solved by phd professors after many years of research. Nobody would think up these solutions on their own.
These programming challenges weed out
experienced developers unless they want to
take the time to re-learn this stuff. It explains why google, facebook or amazon are filled with young and inexperienced developers and how come it takes so many thousands of them to get anything done, and they still have buggy products...

*coding*

*notices coffee is cold, puts it on stove with flame burner on low, to warm up*

*sits back down, goes back to coding*

*hears fizzing popping sounds... coffee overflows and boils*

FUCK - every other day for the past month ,every single time... lol

Unpopular opinion: Fuck laptops

Even with proper care and monthly maintenance, they're still loud as a vacuum cleaner, and hot as a fucking stove. Yes I know it's a bit hotter these days and maybe mine isn't the latest top of the line model, but even my gf's Inspirion 17R (old I know, but she got one unused) tho relatively quiet, heats up as all hell even when it's on a cooling pad as soon as you try to do anything on it.
Maybe I'm alone on this, but I just think that when it comes to laptops, it's go big or go home. My Desktop PC is a relic of the past, but it still purrs like a fucking kitten, even under heavy loads in this weather

IT security calls to tell me my new password, because it is poor practice to send it over encrypted message.

New password = password

I'm glad we are taking security so seriously!

Sony.

I don’t *hate* them, but I had really high hopes for Xperia smartphones back then, five years ago.

So I saved up and bought one. That’s what I got:
1. It was getting slower and slower
2. Micro usb broke just months after I got the smartphone
3. Sticky fragile screen with absolutely no oleophobic coating
4. NO UPDATES TO KITKAT AND LOLLIPOP! They just left us behind!

5. The main reason.

I catch moments with my camera. For me, camera is a vital feature, the most significant factor.

I once needed it really urgent and it just said “Camera is unavailable”. And that’s all. Camera is gone forever, broken. Factory reset haven’t fixed it.

You, alongside with Meizu, turned me away from android irreversibly and forever. When I heard about no update, I literally felt abused. Just like a girl whom random fuckboy made a proposal to, fucked and then left just months later.

With that level of customer support, basic respect to me as a user and buyer and that level of quality control, fuck you and your sloppy bricks you call smartphones. Maybe things are changing now, but I don’t care anymore and hardly ever will.

P.S. it heats up as hell, fucking pocket stove

The more I use LinkedIn the more I hate it. I know I shouldn't be a nosy fuck but sometimes I've got nothing better to do for a couple of minutes on my work OS and the tab's right there. Every time I open it up it reminds me of why I'm not on Facebook. My coworkers are probably the most benign people to follow, all they do is repost company videos and blogposts. Basically advertizing, whatever.

It's the other people who get to me, the ones who are advertizing themselves. The soapboxing, the 'look at all the cool shit im doing', the reposting shit from people who I have no clue about. It's literally a window into just the good parts of peoples lives, like any other shitty social media site, but put through the filter of corporate PR bullshit. At least you can be yourself somewhat anywhere else, everything on LinkedIn needs to conform to what's acceptable to the sterile corporate environment, which amounts to showing off your certs or marketable products and the most surface-level 'progressive' social politics.

Fuck LinkedIn and fuck my curious ass for opening it like a dumbass kid who doesn't understand why you shouldn't touch a hot stove.

Holy fuck EA (yea I went there)

So here I am playing NFS Heat, and my laptop is hot enough to cook eggs on the keyboard, no joke, yet spec wise I should have 0 issues running this game.

I switch on the turbo cool (basically spin the internal fans at full speed... It's an MSI) and this usually covers any heating issues, nope... not this time.

this fucker of a fan can't keep up , so I've turned down the settings from ULTRA, that's depressing, to Medium... it feels like 2006 showed back up, but here's this laptop still burning a whole in my fingers.

My GPU (GTX1060 6GB) is running at 95'c on Medium graphics, and LOW looks like I fell into a 8bit world with slow ass rendering.

Guess I'm going to need to get some cooling assistance for this thing.

Thank you EA for turning my 2.5k laptop into a stove top, I appreciate it.

I guess the name checks out, "heat"

Who is the brain-damaged engineer at Samsung that decided that a capacitive touch buttons on an induktion cooktop is the way to go. As soon a waterdrop falls on any button the stove goes "FUCK IT, I'M OUT" and shut itselfs off for about 30 seconds.

How wonderful when you have 4 different pots that must have different temperatures and you must use each [+] - button sequentially because the idiot engineer was to lazy to make the input be able to handle several buttons at once!

Stupid idiot engineer and QA department!

So I am a marvel fan and have an Espruino Pico, after scavenging left over parts from a home renovation project I realised I had all the bits to built a replica iron man arc reactor chest piece.

I figured it'd be a fun little electronics project, so I have thick copper wire that needs shaping.

I have my pliers, gloves and a gas stove. My lodgers walk into the kitchen...

Them: "What the hell are you doing?!"

Me: "We don't have a forge."

honestly im all for devrant becoming sone sort of alternative to StOve, or branched off into one, you all are so nice and fun to talk/listen to, and ypu dont treat this platform as a dick measurement contest

What your boss is really saying when you're about to leave work and he says "get this done before tomorrow morning"

Roof is leaking... Due to rainy stormy weather here, I have now 3 buckets in my flat for catching the water.

Next thing that broke was the faucet in the kitchen... Whoever installed the kitchen (inherited from previous tenant) was a fricking fuck nugget. Not only are most important parts like the stove unbalanced (cooking is very fun...) - but most things were wrongly installed.

The rubber band under the faucet was a few mm larger than the faucet itself... Stretched out as someone really tightened the screws... Too tight. Friction tore the rubber band on one side. Note that the faucet is one of the large, pompous ones which weigh a fuckton. So the fucking faucet now - as the rubber band tore - turned into a sprinkler as the faucet moves due to water pressure.

Ok. Faucet out, new faucet in. Shouldn't be that hard.

Wait. Wtf?

Turns out they didn't use a milling head... The hole is a cone, top larger - then getting smaller.

Ok. No problem.

Let's do some drill action.

Uhm. Why is the place to the window wet... Oh. Great. Another leak.

*some mopping action*

Back to the kitchen. Realizing I didn't fully close the valve for water -.

Kitchen cabinet, next mopping action.

Water with saw dust is pretty ugly combination -.-

Aka: My relaxing Saturday became a full blown """Fuck you with an anchor""" day instead. Thanks universe. Love you hon. Please, next time put at least some lube on the anchor, entry is quite painful.

Why was the JavaScript developer sad?
Because he didn't Node how to Express himself....

yes, i know this isn't omg! ubuntu

yes i know it's obviously not StOve (you guys are way too nice)

but im going to look like an idiot for asking this here. my process is a rollercoaster to read so bear with me

context:
· xubuntu 17.10
· zsh (not that it matters)

° i want to be able to use java -jar file.jar

i tried using that command
zsh: java: permission denied

then used sudo
sudo: java: command not found

i grabbed the generic x64 tar.gz and extracted to ~/.local/.app/java/
set the Java path to the openjdk folder inside, no good

i installed openjdk-8-jre
couldnt figure it out that way, so uninstalled

RE-GRABBED the x64 tarball
extracted into /usr/java
set the path to the folder containing java & javaws executables

still no luck

what is the problem here

Suffering from our first service outage since I've been at my new job.

Guess when it happened? While we have TOO MANY projects going on.

When you have too many pots on the stove, you're bound to forget the smallest, most crucial detail.

Okay govs and schools should stop this robotic production by forcing children to learn coding since an early age of 10. It's ridiculous !

Not only are you not giving a shit about whether they are interested or not, you are saturating an already saturated industry. Moreover, you are encouraging young children to sit all day in front of a screen when they should be playing, doing and learning other things.

Let them discover the subject. Let them fall in love with programming and coding. Don't force it onto them...

Is it just me or is Node a pain to set up? I'm trying to make an Ionic app and every time I've tried installing Node, all necessary packages, etc I always get errors.

Right, just put next doors new garden furniture and gas fired barbecue stove on ebay... fancy a new iPhone XS. 😀

Any advice for a Bachelor's in Computer Science ? I often find myself lost in between all these career options and subjects and degrees.

I just need a little guidance 'cause I got no one to talk to about this...

>stack overflow: "Use JQuery!"
>
>me: ok i broke a lot of stuff after >about a year, help me fix the JQuery.
>
>stack overflow:

How do I print a the contents of a file using command line arguments in C or C++