Our CTO has been told, this morning by management, that our development department is "too quiet" and that it's spoiling "the atmosphere" of the office space.

So we've ordered mechanical keyboards.

...this

Anyone else used Stack Overflow for many years without ever asking or answering a single question?

I found it!

LOL...

Laughed more than I'd like to admit tbh

"So what got you in to development and programming?"

Me: well. I needed something to new to help with my depression, stress and anger.

"Oh cool. Did it help?"

Me: yes... They're so much stronger now.

Four months ago changed a laptop failing hdd and give it back to customer. Today I got a 30 minutes call because the computer "is not like before the repair, it doesn't work well".

*Thinks* Well, s#*@, before the repair the hdd had more than 2000 damaged clusters, which prevented even the os to start

*Says* "Could you describe me the issue?"
....
...
[ basically he was saying that since he started using IE as a browser, he didn't have Google.com set as the first page and that he had to bing it]
...
"When did the 'issue' start, If I may ask?"

>"Two weeks ago. "

Two weeks ago.
Two f*""#ng weeks ago.
Set aside for the nature of the issue, you blame my four months ago repair for a two weeks ago issue?
"The computer was better before"?
THAT F###ING MACHINE WAS LIKE A BURNING HOUSE - I RESCUED DATA FOR 2 DAYS JUST BEFORE THE HDD STARTED TO CRANK AT EVERY SPIN - I REBUILT IT TO GIVE IT YOU BACK FULLY WORKING AFTER YOU USED AS A FOOTBALL, AND NOW YOU BLAME ME BECAUSE THE
BROWSER ISN'T SETTED AS YOU LIKE

No,seriously, is like I rebuilt a burned house from scrap and now the owner blames me because in the kitchen sink the hot water tap is on the right side instead of the left side.
Seriusly, wtf.

Color jokes

Seen in Amsterdam, getting on a ferry.

Oh yeah. Hey guys. 2 things.
First off. Forgot to say. Officially got a job. Finally. So thank you for all the help/advice and patience with my depressive rants!!

I'm in a new chapter of my life now so thanks.

And secondly.

I FUCKING HATE MY JOB

"Unit tests are a waste of time, and we should avoid doing that if possible. "

Kill me please.

Me: *clicks sign out*

Yahoo: "Are you sure you want to sign out?"

Me: DID I FUCKING STUTTER!?

Website Intro: Hello! I'm here to tell you how my life changed since I learned to build websites and became independent blah blah blah

Me: Cool. One sec.

*scrolls down*

Footer: Proudly powered by WordPress. Get the theme here!

Me: Bruh... No.

Not mine but LEL

My sister in law got me this guy for Christmas after I told her about devrant!

She found it in a rubber duck shop in Amsterdam.

Best sister in law!

Coworker: "Hey I have the final logo for your software"

Me: "Awesome, only a few bugfixes after my holiday and we are good to go on production. 2 more hours to go until I am free for a week."

Coworker: "After your holiday? Boss said it goes on production tomorrow!"

Me: "You are kidding me, aren't you? There is no way I can do all the work today and push to production!"

Coworker: "Boss promised the client..."

How about boss can go an f himself? He knows I have some other project to finish today and that I am leaving. This is in our team cal for over a month now! Ahhh. My coworker now has to deal with it-.-

...LOL

Dev: "What if the user has more than 100 entries? How would that display?"
UX: "They won't ever have that many"
Dev: "But what if they do?"
UX: "They won't."

(spoiler: they do)

Email from a company I applied To:

"Hi... We will be in touch by the 7th of November"

Me:... It's December already. Maybe I missed it.

Second email: "Sorry! Typo. It's meant to say 7th of November. Refer to this instead"

Me: ...

THIRD email: "So sorry. Or mailing system is failing so disregard all those emails and refer to this one. Thank you."

Me: ... WHERE THE FUCK IS THE DATE!??

On call part 3: I'M BACK ON THE CAL FROM YESTERDAY FOR THE LAST 6.5 HOURS AND THEY'RE JUST DOING WHAT I TOLD THEM TO DO YESTERDAY. Is it because I'm female? Does having boobs mean I don't know how ssl works and that I can't possibly know about networks? I'm seriously about to just hang up and tell them to deal with it on their own.

Cup is there because it expresses my mood.

A common scenario strikes again today:

- Blocked on a problem at the end of the day
- Tell my wife I'm headed home
- Inspiration strikes
- time flies by coding in the zone
- realize I'm super late
- run out the door like a crazy person

Upwork:
"Hey freelancer, sorry we can't let you join this website made for freelancers like you as there are too many freelancers like you on this site made for freelancers like you"

Is it just me or is stack overflow full of dicks?

Waiting on page break....

This morning I kept falling back asleep after the alarm went off, drifting in and out of a dream about programming.

My wife finally said "no more sleeping".

Still mostly sleep, I replied very confidently "you can't sleep in a sandbox!".

I was dreaming I was in a code sandbox. Obviously sleeping is not allowed.

Jeez, my head has been really full of programming since this conference. (One of the talks was on codesandbox).

Night before flying internationally includes the following checklist:

- check VPN works, can access frontend sites and hit the backend
- git push

Ok yeahhh it’s not me.

Just got told I didn’t pass an interview that lasted 15 minutes with him talking about the company and no questions for me.

My interviewers lately have just been unfortunate

Our "monitoring" today.

This morning my girlfriend told me about the network at her school constantly disconnecting, to which I jokingly replied "So, it doesn't deserve candy". She came back with "But it's already asking for so many cookies"...

This. Also. Applies. To. The. Devs.

I love my girlfriend, but sometimes she doesn't get dev-work.
Last night, we had a fight over me sticking post-its to the wall in our home office. I find them helpful for keeping an overview of what I'm working on. She finds them ugly and decided to tear them all down without conferring with me. I got pissed. I almost always give in to her quirks and wants in every other aspect of how we live, so I feel like my desk space should at least be under my control. In my anger, I ordered her out of the room. She then proceeded to be sulking/angry with me up till and including this morning "because I overreacted".

Was I wrong? What should I have done differently?

Let me tell you a story.

Our company has a homegrown monitoring solution. Keeps track of our deployments and alerts us when something is broken. Really nice for the most part, except a little issue where we get up to 25 alerts PER DAY that our PRODUCTION ENVIRONMENT IS DOWN. Including weekends.

With this many false positives, we quickly learn to ignore the alerts and miss real incidents.

So we approached this team, remember its our own tool, and told them about the problem. Turns out it is a known issue. And here's the kicker: they aren't planning on fixing it!

It gets better. Rather than fix this glaring issue, their solution is to make ANOTHER ALERT that lets us know the monitoring is misbehaving.

To recap, we can now expect to get up to 25 false positive alerts per day that our production is down, followed immediately by more alerts that the monitor is broken, which means we can ignore the previous alert.

As our PM said when he heard this: fuck that noise. We are escalating the shit out of this!

Why didn't I comment my code on Friday...

Ayy. Finally hit the 1000++ point. Now I can get the shirt that I literally have 5 of irl for my avatar

I'm such an idiot.

Spilled water on my MacBook today. Not that much water, but the cup landed right in the middle of my keyboard.

Worst part is I was gaming with my sister and didn't want to stop. So I wiped it off and shook it out a bit and kept playing. A bit later the screen started flickering and eventually went black.

Finally my brain turned on and I switched it off, shook out some more water, and set it up to dry. Just hoping it's not too late.

At least the drying setup recommended by the internet is pretty hilarious looking.

Now we play the waiting game. They say 72 hours before turning it on again. Seems a bit extreme. Will there still be moisture evaporating 3 days later? Not sure I can wait that long to see if it's toast.

Such an idiot.

*spends a long time crafting a huge eBay post (we're moving)
* tries to drag and drop first picture
* page navigates to the picture without warning
* loses everything

WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

WHEN DRAGGING A PICTURE INTO A WEB PAGE I NEVER WANT TO NAVIGATE TO A PAGE WITH JUST THAT IMAGE. WHY NO WARNING BEFORE LEAVING THE PAGE. WHY DON'T YOU SAVE TEXT LOCALLY. WHY DOES THE WEB SUCK SO HARD. AAAGGGHHHH.

* feels better
* starts over

No one is safe when I hit a wall... Not even my best friends.

This one's for all the SysAdmins out there.

About 4 years ago I was asked to take over a dental offices systems administration (~20 machines) after their previous guy had allowed their servers RAID 1 to fail and hadn't done any updates or general maintenance. (please take note this office is my parents dental office).

I since have been recovering from his poor configuration and setup by instating an active directory environment and installing up to date software as well as updating machines on the domain to Windows 10 since windows 7 is no longer supported. I have also been properly licensing everything.

My bosses (my parents) are annoyed with this because "it's more expensive" and "it's too complicated we don't know how to manage it" and I don't know how to explain to them that they aren't fucking systems admins. They asked why they could do it before and I tried to explain that now it's secure and things need to be rolled out on the network level. They had every user running full local admin on every workstation plus the server.

Some people don't fucking understand that just because it's simple doesn't make it a good fucking idea. And because it's cheap doesn't mean it will always be (just wait till Microsoft audits you).

Oh and they also don't understand fucking CAL licensing and refuse to pay for gsuite for all their staff who use it. Instead they just have two gsuite accounts and give everyone the fucking password.

I'm going to have an aneurysm

Microsoft Edge: "We support modern Web technologies."

Netflix, why is your loading spinner so horrible!

Do you know what a percentage is??? 99% means you are ALMOST done. Just a tiny fraction to go. I should not see 99% for seconds or even minutes on end. Much less after the first 98% took only a couple seconds!!

Stop the lies!!!

“I Pay $900 A Month for student loans.”

Not sure why there’s a video about this but let’s watch it...

*Sad music is playing*

“My name is _____ and I pay $900 a month for student loans..”

Yeah so what?

*Sad music continues*

??

*Woman makes a call and asks about when they’re going to make a student loan reform aggressively*

????

Then I realized my family was eligible for low income and I received Cal and Pell grants to pay for my tuition and living.

Then I realized that the salary for my computer science degree has numbed me to a point where $900 a month doesn’t seem too bad. Or awful. I mean I just leased a new car for my mom! And didn’t hesitate (only when having fun negotiating though).

Back then, I would be shocked. But it’s a surreal feeling to see now that I don’t. I was literally confused at the basis of this video. And now I’m surprised at my disconnect from it.

I also realized that they make videos based on how society should react to it. Am I an outcast to society because of this? Why am I not reacting the same way?

Maybe society (nowadays) would disdain me because I’ve come into high income like we all will because of our passion (and the demand for it).

But fuck society. It’s full of the very same people who use technology each and every day. Protesting for things they found trending on Twitter. The ones who refused to learn even though it’s a huge part of their lives. They’re the ones holding us back for an Engel’s Technological Utopia (idk if I’m even correct about the philosopher but anyways..)

We’re above them. We make things they’ll use and in massive numbers.

Don’t let them dictate what you should like. How you should act. Whether or not you should feel lonely while they’re posting pictures of fun times on Facebook.

We should be the ones doing that. Because we are the ones doing that.

That’s why we’re given the best to perform what we love most.

So devs, continue what you’re doing. Small or big, you’re still driving the world forward. Opening pull requests and contributing to open source projects. Answering questions on Stack Overflow not only for the person intended but for the beginner or even experienced professional who may stumble upon it later in a Google search.

And be highly rewarded for it. How society feels doesn’t matter any more when it comes to your passion. You’re important. Your work helps others in ways you can’t even imagine. We’re like one big fucking hivemind of engineers with the accessibility of the internet.

I love drinking on a Sunday!

2 days into a new java project and I already miss scala so much.

My new fitbit reminds me take 250 steps each hour. When I do stop and take a walk, I find it helps my productivity, and I feel better. However, I'm not good at keeping to it.

It's always the same story.

"Quiet you, I'll get up and walk once I finish this one thing".

...

Another hour goes by.

If only I could keep to my own convictions.

I spent more than an hour trying trying to debug why two functions were always returning undefined. I even put in conditional breakpoints and executed the statements to confirm the logic was correct.

I forgot return.

650 line hand constructed xml file missing a tag. Took me 3 hours to find. I looked at the section at least 3 times but my brain would not pick out the mistake. Online cal validators all pointing me to the wrong places.
It takes persistence to be a developer so pat yourselves on the back.

I'M SO MAD ABOUT THIS

Can one of the dev-senpais tell me stories of what using this was like?

... no longer on call. Am on hour 12 of a call that has a few more hours to go and have handled 3 others today. Coworker is on hour 36 of a cal with possibly 24 more to go. And 3rd is finally eating as he missed meals all day for more calls than i can count. Who the fuck decided they hate us and want us to die these deaths????

Cal invite: scum meeting

Not sure to accept or decline

Found online
Found kinda funny

One of the first things I learned while screwing around in Linux for the first time was the calendar in the terminal. I never thought I'd have an actual use for cal, and it just sat in the back of my mind for a year.

Then, two weeks ago, I needed to find the date for a saturday in December, because I thought it was the seventh. My duck was like "Hey, your terminal is right there, why not use that cal function instead of looking for your calendar?" And I was like "Dude, that's genius!"
I have since done it thrice more for various reasons, and it has saved me like four minutes in total. I love all the little things like this in Linux (I'm pretty sure Windows and obviously MacOS do the same thing with practically the same command, but shut up and let me enjoy myself (and it just feels more accessable in Linux because I use the terminal so much more often))

So yeah
Stuff

God I need something to do...
Wait! I have several things to do! The first one will be making a list of all my projects.
Or spending another two hours on devRant.

Welp. My door fell on my desk and broke it so there goes me coding.

Coding has given me the ability to turn my favorite hobby into a career. This in turn gave me the chance to take jobs in three countries so far (US, Germany, UK). So, I can explore the world with lovely wife while doing something I'm really passionate about and constantly learning. It also allows me to relate more to my dad, a software engineer of about 30 years who got me started when I was a kid.

In short, coding changed everything for me.

PS: I met my wife in intro to CS, though she's not a developer.

Welp. That was fun.

Just had an interview I wasn't even expecting. Basically the company emailed me saying that the role has been filled and as such the interview has been canceled.

And I'm like ok. Thanks for letting me know.

Then at literally the same time someone sent me a skype request asking me if I'm ready.

I get another email saying they're sorry about the inconvenience and hope my front end interview goes well... like. Wtf.

Why didn't they specify which? And why wait so long ffs.

I had two interviews with them. They stood me up on the last one and i emailed and never heard back.

So now I just had the most awkward interview in my life.

I was so rattled I forgot the answer to a simple af question. What's a JavaScript closure.

I wanna cry but it was so bad I wanna laugh

After being live multiple years supporting only Safari, Firefox, and Chrome, one customer wanted IE support. After taking a close look at the usage numbers, and discussing with us front-end devs, our product guy shot it down. Pop the champagne!

When your company buys a third party solution and you spend all your time emailing them about bugs in their system.

Seriously, I even sent you the exact line of the bug in your JavaScript with a suggested solution, and deployed a new stack with your latest (broken) fix so you can test out that solution. Then you email back saying it is fixed but it is clearly still broken. If I email you a fixed version of your file will you deploy it? OMG!

Real question tho. How do y'all actually put stickers directly on your laptop??
Like. For me that's some serious level of commitment. I always want to but I worry I'll hate it eventually and removing it would suck and scar

I can't even put stickers on the cases 😭😭 but like. Seeing a fresh new looking body when you take everything off is always soo soothing to me

Can I claim Spotify on expenses?

Spent a lot of time designing a proper HTTP (dare I even say RESTful) API for our - what is until now a closed system, using a little-known/badly-supported message-over-websocket protocol to do RPC-style communications - supposedly enterprise-grade product.

I make the API spec go through several rounds of review with the rest of the dev team and customers/partners alike. After a few iterations, everybody agrees that the spec will meet the necessary requirements.

I start implementing according to spec. Because this is the first time we're actually building proper HTTP handling into the product, but we of course have to make it work at least somewhat with the RPC-style codebase, it's mostly foundational work. But still, I manage to get some initial endpoints fully implemented and working as per the spec we agreed. The first PR is created, reviews are positive, the direction is clear and what's there already works.

At this point in time, I leave on my honeymoon for two weeks. Naturally, I assume that the remaining endpoints will be completed following the outlines/example of the endpoints which I built. When I come back, the team mentions that the implementation is completed and I believe all is well.

The feature is deployed selectively to some alpha customers to start validation testing before the big rollout. It's been like that for a good month, until a few days ago when I get a question related to a PoC integration which they can't seem to get to work.

I start investigating and notice that the API hasn't been implemented according to the previously agreed upon spec at all. Not only did the team manage to implement the missing functionality in strange and some even broken ways, they also managed to refactor my previously working endpoints into being non-compliant.

Now, I'm a flexible guy. It's not because something isn't done exactly as I've imagined it that it's automatically bad. However, I know from experience that designing a good/clear/future-proof API is a tricky exercise. I've put a lot of time and effort into deliberate design decisions that made up the spec that we all reviewed repeatedly and agreed upon. The current implementation might also be fine, but I now have to go over each endpoint again and reason about whether the implementation still fulfills the requirements (both soft and hard) that we set out to meet.

I'm met with resistance, pushback and disbelief from product management and dev co-workers alike when I raise the concern that the API might actually not be production-ready (while I'm frantically rewriting my integration tests and figuring out how the actual implementation works in comparison to what was spec'ed).

Oh, and did I mention that product management wants to release this by end-of-week?!

If an orange costs $6 and a grape costs $4, how much does a pineapple cost?

Slow time so I can code more AND sleep more!

So I had an interview. Went well. But apparently while they liked me I didn't show passion for development.

Any tips on how to that? Cause like... I like it and all but who really can show passion for working for someone else.

Tips please. Or job opportunities!!!

Yeah I get what the intention was but like... why? I feel there are way better ways to do this

(Ps. I've become the pic post guy)

When you run into your ex/visit your parents that thought you were wasting your life.

Am I a developer or a professional Googler?

Professors today in colleges don't know...
.
1. the proper denominations of outputs of basic shell commands like "ls -l", "cat", "cal" (pronounces linux as laynux)
.
2. how memory management works
.
3. how process scheduling actually takes place and not in the outdated bookish way.
.
4. how to compile a package from scratch and including digital signatures
.
5. cannot read a man page properly, yet come to take OS labs.
.
6. how to mount a different hardware
.
7. how to check kernel build rules, forget about compiling a custom kernel.
.
.
.
n. ....

Yet we are expecting the engineers who are churned out of colleges to be NEXT GEN ?!
It is not entirely because of syllabus, its also because of professors who had not updated their knowledge since they got a job. Therefore they cannot impart proper basics on students.
If you want things to change, train students directly in the industry with versions of these professors UPDATED.

I've found a new love and her name is Ruby on rails

When you try to clap in a presentation while holding coffee and spill it all over yourself.

var does not mean dynamic

Ya boi got a python interview today.

....when did I post that I was learning python again? 😭😭😂

...I think. THINK. That I might have indeed spent too much time in front of the computer...

So like... did every social media app meet up and go
"yo!
Ordering notifications and timelines chronologically in a way that makes sense?
Yeah mate, fuck it!"?

Accurate...

When you make a mistake and try to fix it, but you can't remember how to spell amend...

git commit --ammend
error: unknown command `amend'

git commit -ammend
[branch-name] mend

Huh?

git log
commit #
mend

Created a new commit with message 'mend'. Now to clean this all up and go get some sleep!

"Can you check what my password is?"

If only.

Tbh. When I read about ruby and how it was meant to be as close to English as possible a little part of me was hoping for this

"The role: You will be designing and building responsive emails on a daily basis using HTML5/ CSS3/JavaScript"

Errrrrrrmmmm...

...cry.

Okay. Is there really anyone who wouldn't get this

Years ago, one of my friends in college was taking an intro to CS class. He asked me for help on one of his assignments. It was a simple Python program, but it wasn't running as expected. I go in figuring it will be easy to fix. But everything looks exactly right. An hour later I'm tearing my hair out! It isn't even entering the function although it's clearly called. I'm beginning to feel very self conscious, as a CS major who can't even debug a 15 line program for a friend.

Then it hit me. This is Python. I used an editor macro to convert all indentation to tabs, lined them up, and it ran on the first try. Turns out, he had somehow ended up with a mixture of tabs and spaces.

I'm not sure what the takeaway is, but I think he got a surprisingly honest introduction to the life of a developer...

!rant

Super awesome day today.

1. Got up early to do a risky production deploy and it worked!
2. Three PRs approved before lunch.
3. Got some time to continue learning scala.
4. Coffee and cupcakes with some refugees and discussed work as a software engineer.
5. Tried virtual reality for the first time. Really fun.
6. Helped prepare our goals for this quarter and present them to the department.
7. Department meeting had free local craft beer and pretzels.
8. Went bouldering after work and flashed a 6c.
9. Curled up with my wife watching Netflix.

I really love my life sometimes.

Bruhhh

Five interviews and challenges later and I’m told they won’t be going further with me.
Over month of my life. Finally thought this was the one. But oh well. Depression.

I officially quit being a dev.

It’s been rad y’all.

I kno my strengths

PSA: negate your tests and make sure they fail!

I have what I thought was a weird and slightly paranoid habit. When I write tests sometimes just as a sanity check negate the assertion to make sure the test fails and isn't a false positive. Almost always fails as expected.

But not today! Turns out I had forgotten to wrap my equality check in an assertion so it would always pass. It freaks me out to imagine pushing a test that always passes not just because it doesn't do its job, but could also obscure a bug and trick me into thinking it works differently than it does. Broken tests are the worst!

But it pays to be paranoid.

Heathrow express having some trouble this morning.

Me: *adds a shiny new graph to our foos web app showing player ratings*

Fred: Can I please have a button to see just my scores?

Me: *adds "JUST FRED" button*

Fred: perfect, thanks

Look here Mr Senior Tech if you don’t know 100% what you’re doing, don’t fucking touch the goddamn firewall with your fucking sausage fingers and you overblown call center team lead. I mean you need to have the confidence you would have if you were eating a banana and some one told you it was a poisonous berry, you’d laugh and eat it anyway, cause it’s obviously a banana. That’s the kind of confidence you need to have when fucking with the entire goddamn network configurations. I just went thru a 7 hour shit show because you THOUGHT you knew what you were doing. Not a damn thing was broken there. One service needed a hole in the firewall and you fucked all this beyond an easy fix. Now I’ll admit I don’t have that much confidence working with the firewall, that’s why I would fucking cal one of the companies that set it up even though we don’t necessarily have a support contract, it would have cost a lot damn less to have them work on it than for the whole company to be down and for me to have to stress over every fucking thing going (or not going) on.

Fml I need a job

Happiness, job satisfaction and mental stability.... we need that in the next patch

Passed a code test for once and invited to interview with engineers.

I’m nervous yet proud. Any tips? It’s the first time I’ve reached this point

Do people really struggle with CSS?

I thought it was just design and ideas but is it actual CSS y’all struggle with?

Not judging. Just asking to be sure

An update on my rant about that interview I had.
They emailed saying they're sorry I didn't pass etc.

My literal response was: wow. Shocker. No shit I didn't pass 😂

Ya bois learning python.

A user calls me an hour after I'm supposed to have logged off.
"Hey, ahh, like, something is not good with, like, some thing"
Oh, snap! What happened?
"There is, like, this report, and it's, like, not right?"
Oh, the report is showing wrong data? Let me try to get a fresh version and...
"No, like,the data is right, but, like, there is many reports and , like, should be only one?"
Oh, you mean the report consolidation feature? It should only happen if the reports are fully compatible, and since it's automatic if the reports are not already grouped it means that they cannot be grouped. Probably due to this shopping season, we've seen a high uptick in demand.
"But, like, it should be, like, one! If not I will have to type in each report, like, by hand! I usually talk to this guy XYZ and he, like, does something that I, like, have no idea what it is. Can you call him up?"
(The dude the user mentioned logged off hours ago, and is in a different timezone. It's now about 11PM for him.)
It might not be possible. The system should add observations to each report it cannot consolidate. What do those say?
(the user takes two seconds to respond. I don't think they checked anything)
"It doesn't say anything. Can you cal XYZ, please?"
...

Shit, why do people wait until the last few hours of the last day of the month to do something that should have been done days ago and then demand that everybody everywhere just adjust to their late-ass schedule?
And then to demand I wake up a hardworking dev because someone is to lazy to use the system as it was custom designed for them? Because it had no problems but just wasn't making all things easy?

That's why users have to pay - they don't pay us to code, they pay us to put up with their bullshit.

Management proposed to work with external freelancers, to "pick up speed so we can release these new designs sooner". We agreed, but of course we (the home team) can't have time to review their work because we need to develop other new features and bugfixes and such...
Weeks later, turns out that their changes are largely incompatible with the work we have been doing on the main branch. We are now rebasing/rewriting huge chunks of their work, probably taking as much time as it would have cost us to develop the design ourselves in the first place.

i love when they ask you to upload your cv and turn it into an incoherent mess.

thanks.

I made myself a pizza 8 hours ago, which was apparently ~250 cal. After finishing it, my nose started bleeding. Since then I'd lost 1.5dl of blood. I've effectively sent my dinner down the drain, and I couldn't even sleep all night.

Baby all I want for Christmas is Uuuuuuuuu-I design that made sense while being cute.

Late I know. But I just thought of it.

I get home today and my wife says:

"Just finished some chores and really want to play stardew valley, but the computer has been updating for an hour!"

Windows 10 anniversary update strikes again.

When you offer to help out a fellow coworker on the top priority feature he is developing and he just sends you the branch and stops working on it.

Scary sysadmin is scary

*gets banned from asking questions on stack overflow*

Yup. Seems about right.

Tbh it was time 😭

Ooh. Here's a "deep" one.

For the self thought/online learners, at what point did you consider yourself an "actual" developer and felt ready to go out and apply for jobs and stuff?

And what challenges/reactions did you face?

I NEED A JOB

To those following the saga so far...

ya boi just had his followup python interview.

YIKES. Like, i aint even sure if it went bad or not.
Wish me luck.

Corey Schafer! Bless me!!!

It took me putting on my glasses to make sure these pixels were real and not just blind ass not seeing shit.

git pull origin master --allow-unrelated-histories

Because I like to keep life interesting.

Started a new job at a big firm (previously came from a startup). Both do "scrum". Still have my mind blown because at the new job, we have people join the standup of which NOBODY in the team knows what their role is on the product...
Does this happen often in big corporates?

We've been using private GitHub repos as a distribution method for our personal npm packages at work for years.

I finally got sick of it and did the work to publish them to artifactory yesterday. Today, I worked out the remaining kinks, fixed the CI builds, and wrote a wiki page explaining the change with step by step migration instructions and sent it around to the rest of the devs. And it's working great!

I feel simultaneously like a hero for finally getting this fixed and an idiot for putting up with it for so long.

Also thankful for my devops friend who helped a bunch.

React on Rails can go fuck itself

Anyone else like... REALLY bad at algorithms and logic stuff?

I just hate them so much.

Tell me to build something and gg done. But all these tests for jobs freak me out.

Like. It probably ends up being something simple and when it's explained I know what to do but at first I just instantly shut down and can't think.

When you immediately regret your career decisions.

So what exactly is it like working as a developer?

I'm still in the learning phase but I can't seem to picture what exactly it is you'll be doing daily if you get hired.

Is it like constant coding? But like, the site is already made and is huge.

Or is it like making new stuff? But then like, there's already a big company site.

It's what I wanna do but I honestly can't imagine how it will work different from doing it for yourself

I'm a node JS developer, but I basically don't use Typescript but with the whole buzz around the technology, I feel I'm doing something wrong by not using Typescript and refusing to learn it. What do you think?

I want to buy a beer for everyone who developed the mobile pass app. Just breezed through immigration and customs without waiting in the 1 hour+ line. Technology wins. Cheers!

Happened to know this devRant app from a friend. And these community of developers are lit ƪ(˘⌣˘)ʃ

Anyone know small-medium companies hiring front end devs around the eu?

Or any recruiters with a soul?

React btw. Thanks.

Why yes. This is a last resort. Thanks for noticing/criticizing

Things you should not say on your last day of work:

If I broke it, I think it would be pretty obvious.

Just moved countries and started a new job at an awesome company, which is so great I have nothing yet to rant about.

Oh here goes: almost three weeks with no internet at home and no end in sight.

Err. I'm working on something this is a stupid question. But is there a way to save data and stuff without having to go into back end?

If not or if there is. What should I look into/learn to get it done without having to go too deep

Can we all just combine side projects/help each other and get them all done?

I had an interesting mystery the other day. I work in the UK, but I'm working remotely from the US for a while. First day, I made some changes, ran the tests and they failed. Weird part was the failing test was for a component I hadn't touched. I took a closer look, and realized it was a date off by several hours. The test was checking that a passed in date appears in the output. But it was creating the date by parsing a string. The library I was using defaults to local time, but the component uses UTC. So, I had inadvertently created a unit test that only passes when run from UTC. But I had never noticed before because my work is in that timezone. Yikes!

I keep posting that I need job and I appreciate the feedback but I feel just saying that makes it seem like I'm not trying.

Like. I legit don't know. Could it be my cv that's a dud? Thinking of paying a resume writing thing

Cause I'm actually trying hard af to learn new stuff as well keep doing what I'm good at.

I got one interview in a year and even then they didn't gimme the chance to show tech side. It's soo tilting.

I'm actually competent though inexperienced I think.

Any advice or questions please. I legit need to sort this out this year. Like its very important that I do.

Help.

so i just realised my stack overflow ban came after less than 10 questions in total...

how dumb am i exactly??? man’s got real questions to ask now

Just attended my first conference and it was awesome! So many new ideas, but also tired and overloaded. Can't decide if I should code tonight, go to bed early, or just do something mindless.

Press X to JSON

How do people make clones without tutorials!? 😭😭

I'm tryna clone bleacher report but have no clue where to start cause they're no guides anywhere

Uh... how many?

No better way to start a weekend than with a shit show of an interview on a Friday morning

Err. Any web developers or recruitment people able to please give me feedback on my resume?

I'd greatly appreciate the help 😭

Sighhhhhh.
SIGHHHHHH.
been looking for days now and can’t still figure out how to sort with redux.

Can someone just teach me this? I’m starting to feel “special”

How many times does Xcode need to download!????

Was trying to pull an all nighter to meet a deadline and I accidentally fell asleep. I was also texting a new person I liked at the same time.

Dreamt I got so much work done and was still texting and got into an argument.

Woke up, but by the time I realized what happened and that I slept off I had already randomly texted something aggressive and insulted 😭

So yeah. Guess who got no work done and is probably gonna be single for life 😂

Why is so Fitbit so bad at multiple time zones??

Guess what, people get on planes and travel.

Every time, my Fitbit gets so screwed up, including things like changing previous step counts, or duplicating an entire day of steps.

I understand MTZ is a tough problem, but this is just unacceptable. I'm not obsessed with my steps, but when your product is all about counting something, seems like you should be more careful to avoid double counting or not counting at all. Seriously, how much R&D have they invested in their hardware and apps, but it completely fails when you travel. Get it together!

I’m always tired all the time. Depression and what not but today I am TIRED

Had an interview that requires vanilla javascript but I suck at algos even tho I was getting it done till time ran out. We gelled tho so I hope they see potential and move to next round.

But the good news is. I had a follow up interview based on a challenge. It’s the second I’ve ever had and I did well this time.
So much so that they’re booking another interview for tomorrow.
So I’m done with the technical portions of the process.
This is the first time I’ve gotten this far and I’m so happy. I’m hoping really that this is the one cause I doubt I have the energy and will power to keep going though the processes.

I’m so excited. It’s as if all my work is slowly showing and I’m getting closer and closer

Wish me luck guys. Hopefully I ace it as I come across well In General Chats.

This is my last application. If it doesn’t work I think I’m done with dev life and job hunt.

Fingers crossed I’ve found the one

No one on stack overflow can answer my question and I wanna cry

An image processing library for node js

Hey. Need to beef up my portfolio as well as gain more experience.

If anyone needs some design/styling help or input please hit me up!!

Doesn't have to be paid actually.

Is JavaScript actually useless on its own??

I think I'm a dev.... sigh.

After I quit I didn't do it but out of all my interests and hobbies this one kept bugging me. So yeahhhhhh. I'm a dev.

Speaking of. Got bored and finally made a portfolio website. It's not great but people were asking for a link to my cV. So let me know what you think and I can get around to adjusting.

It's

Www.almxnames.com

The hotel I'm staying at only has mini toilet paper that I have had to call for an embarrassing number of times yet they're tryna judge me for wanting pasta at 3 am???

Like, we've passed that stage. I feel no shame anymore!!

Redux is absolute fucking insanity. There is no way in hell there isn't a better way to do this. Absolutely unintelligible, convoluted piece of garbage.

It drives me crazy when there are unclosed parens or quotes anywhere.

Is it too much to ask for people to run their Facebook posts through a compiler first?

Decides to fork an OS repo and make some modifications.

It's written in coffeescript.

Computer does a BSOD right at the end of a tiebreaker competitive overwatch match where the enemy is about to cap the point and win. I'm one of the tanks. Hard reboot and back in the game within 45s. Just barely hold them off in overtime and win the match. Epic!

Thank God for SSDs!

Best tip for getting unstuck? If it's after your usual leaving time, GO HOME.

So many times I solved the problem right away the next morning. Only wish I followed my own advice more often...

Current Mac and Windows user here looking to get back into Linux. Any distro suggestions?

Looking for something not too high maintenance.

I was always interested in computers. My dad was a big computer geek and a programmer to boot. Usually had a couple old PCs in the basement to play with.

In middle school, I took tech ed and we made simple web sites with html and css. I remember the struggle of nested tables.

In high school, I couldn't fit any CS into my schedule. But someone gave me a learning to code book in ruby. I loved it, and have been hooked ever since.

When everyone thinks FE is easier, quicker, and less important than BE. Just because our fantastic UX people made you a high fidelity mockup in a day does not mean we can build the whole FE in a week.

This is why I'm returning to full stack.

Not a new friend. But it made a dick I know be an even better closer dick.
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@soulskrix love you really

It's bad enough that Facebook videos in my country have ads but some cunt actually had the genius idea to make the tagline for their ad "Un-skippable quality"

Not sure I can even be mad at how trolly that is 😭😂

My new goal is to get a great af job but still appear as open and looking online so it'll be turn to fuck with recruiters and waste their time

Will I get a job this year? Will I move and be happy?

Tune in to find out.

Trying to create a news site with a built-in forum... Not as easy as I thought tbh

*updates LinkedIn with new jobs*

*Wakes up to invites and messages from recruiters who wasted my time then disappeared*

*Some from people who I didn't even removed me*

Oh my. Whatever will I do in this situation? 😈

Ayy. It's time. Someone wants to hire me to make a site for them...

How much do I charge? 😭. They also said they want it as an exclusive design that I can't do for anyone else. It's one of my first proper ones so its basically my baby

But yeah. How much is appropriate?
Do bare in mind that I'm broke af 😂. Suggestions in GBP please

Debating whether to be the guy that posts deep slash depressing shit on here. Or let my other personality of a meme Lord handle my devRant

Hello y’all.

Could someone please show me what their/a good developer cover letter looks like?

It’s the thing that’s hardest for me at the moment

Any recommendations for moving a blog?

My wife and I just cancelled our account with siteground hosting a WordPress blog. Looking for a cheaper alternative. Willing to get my hands dirty as a web dev, but would like a nice CMS experience for my wife. Also want to keep our existing content. If we can keep our custom domain somehow that would be a win.

Thanks!

Can someone-not me- make a way to go lower than the lowest brightness setting on my phone?

Thanks.
From me and my shut in photophobic eyes

Generally have great experience with our management.
I work at a scale-up, so I've had some run-ins with the founder shifting priorities too often in the early days, but he's got enough notion of tech to understand when we're telling about the why(not)s of what we can and can't do
A while back we got a product owner/manager/scrum master and he's great too. I've had times when he put pressure on making deadlines when it was really not helping, but overall great guy with a lot of empathy and respect for his team.

But recently I've been starting to feel like we (the dev team) are getting more and more excluded from the decision-making process of the features & designs that we're going to be working on. We used to have a say in what we felt like was a good idea for a feature or a design, but it feels to me like we don't get asked that question any more of late...

Not sure if I'm imagining it, or overreacting to a logical (possibly positive?) evolution in our development workflow...

on a pleasant note,

Seriously, fuck myPhpAdmin. Fuck c9 and fuck MySql. My connection is solid i can do mini crap. my ajax call is good too. so idk why.

Ive spent over a week on a bug and now “occasionally working” is the best I can get and im not even sure why.

This assignment is due today.

I cant even try to do it locally cause for some reason myphpadmin and mysql dont wanna work on my laptop so yay fuck me.

Babels

I think what's keeping me going right now is discovering devs love rubber ducks so I can finally give into my secret addiction

Hello council of elders.. or should I say "console"? Heh? Heh? I've been up for a long time sorry.

Anyway. I've started learning framework stuff. Angular right now. Been long overdue tbh. And I found a free course on udemy and followed it. It's cool and everything but I gotta ask...

Why can't I just use vanilla js and everything from scratch? I'm not sure if its the course I'm using (I'd appreciate more resources. Thanks) but I feel like it's a lot of effort. Is there something I'm missing or haven't learned yet?

It might sound stupid please let me know why it's better to use that than regular methods. Apparently it's meant to make stuff easier but I feel like it's just a lot linking files and making various things in different places.

Also. Other stupid question which might just be cause of the course but like... Is it mostly just for manipulating json??

Thanks. More questions to come soon!!

er guys... I don’t think i can code anymore.

I was unable to do anything for like 2 weeks while i was away and it’s been a month since i got back and like... I’m blanking out big time. I sit and stare at my computer and everything but there is like 0 motivation/interest. I’m fairly new to it tbh so i thought this is was a good time to try new languages but still no.

Any ideas or advice please? It’s like come weird ass code block.

Why are you not yet using ES6?

Trying to add money to a prepaid SIM card today. Their website is a mess. Plus and minus buttons were not functioning, so my only option was to add 15 euro. Checked the console, no errors. Tried triggering the buttons jQuery, no luck. Found a data value attached to the submit button set to 15. Changed to 10, clicked submit, and BOOM, it worked! You just got engineered!

After I paid, I was curious, went back and set it to -15, and tried it again. Unfortunately, they know about backend validation.

Gonna go with youth--
😂

I've confused the grindr logo for devRant more times than I'd like to admit

I might be wrong but all the interviewers I’ve had lately have been duds and didn’t know how to interview

Like. I can’t tell if I sucked or they had no personality and energy for me to work off of

DAMN IT TO HELL
BURN IT
six. SIX videos ive seen. read docs. and tutorials. and still dont know how to even start
you want oauth for facebook and spotify sureee i can
but for defualt?
and an api mock online?
FML
no clue
SOS

Anyone here ever used a Dvorak keyboard? To code or In general?

Hey so I have to make something using both angular and rails and I wanna ask. After I manage to get angular running on rails, do I just proceed to build what I wanted on angular normally? Or is there a special way I have to do.

I'm learning to build something but I can't find specific guides on how to combine those to do so.

So I've found how to make it without rails. And how to link angular and rails. My plan is to learn both seperately then add. Will that work?

Sorry. My words are muddled. I'm just so tired.

so I have both PyCharm and VScode running for the same project. It’s React Redux Django so my servers and stuff are running through pycharm while i edit and code on VS cause PyCharm is crap for react and javascript.

But VS cant seem to run my crap without additional steps which PyCharm does for you automatically like the virtual env

Is there a better way to do this or is this my life now?

I want to be productive but the only thing on my mind is Pop Team Epic.

Help! 😭

Will do design work for 15 bucks.
Anything. Anywhere. Any takers?

I walk by our devops dashboard several times per day. It keeps track of key metrics for all our live services. I noticed an interesting trend the last few weeks.

3 weeks ago: all metrics green
2 weeks ago: 1 metric red
1 week ago: 1 metric still red
this week: 1 metric still red but covered with a post it note

Somebody screwed up...

Mansplaining stories are my favorite thing on the internet right now tbh

Anyone got any good ones?

Anyone good with react-native? I need help cause I'm about to lose my shit 😭 not even exaggerating when I say I've cried many times over this.