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Everyone here ranting about a fucking missing semicolon. I can't remember the last time a missing semicolon was the issue...
You wanna know what's REALLY BALL-BUSTING????
WHEN THE FUCKING 10 y/o LEGACY CODEBASE, CODED BY FUCKING PHP WORDPRESS SCRIPTERS WHO THOUGHT THEY COULD BUILD AN ENTERPRISE SHIT CAUSE ZF2 "LOOKS EASY" AND THEN FILL IT UP WITH SPAGHETTI, IS SO BAD WRITTEN THAT IN ORDER FOR THE PAGE TO RENDER YOU ACTUALLY ****HAVE**** TO DISABLE ERROR REPORTING SO WHENEVER A FUCKING ERROR HAPPENS ON THE TEMPLATE RENDER COMPONENT OF ZEND FRAMESHIT 2, YOU'RE LEFT WITH A FUCKING BLANK PAGE AND NOTHING IS LOGGED TO THE LOG FILE, SO YOUR ONLY OPTION IS DIE() DEBUGGING LINE BY LINE ON THE 1300 LINES PHTML FUCKFEST OF A VIEW THEY HAVE.
MISSING SEMICOLON? YES PLEASE, GIVE ME MORE OF THAT SHIT39 -
I did a fucking scientific study about fucking rants and found a fucking high correlation between the usage of "fuck" and the number of fucking upvotes.18
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FUCKING HELL! I JUST WANNA STAY HOME AND CODE! NO I DONT WANNA WATCH THAT SHITTY MOVIE AGAIN! NO I DONT WANNA GO DRINKING WITH YOU AND LISTEN TO YOUR LUDICROUS BRAGGING! NO I FUCKING DONT WANT TO MEET YOUR COOL FRIENDS WITH FACEBOOK PHOTOGRAPHY PAGES! NO I DONT WANT TO GET A NEW LIFE, CODE IS MY ART AND ALL I WANT IS TO STAY AND PRACTICE IT TILL MY EYES GO DRY AND WHEN THAT HAPPENS I'LL CODE IN FUCKING BRAILLE!20
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If you're going to ask for my help
... and then do the opposite of everything i say
... and then complain when things don't work
... and continue to ignore everything i say
HOW ABOUT YOU JUST FUCK OFF8 -
We are a hosting company.
That means that we host websites and servers.
Hat does NOT mean that we manage your FUCKING APPLICATIONS.
THE NEXT FUCKING PERSON WHO'S GOING TO ASK ME APPLICATION RELATED QUESTIONS OR TRIES TO CONVINCE ME THAT IT REALLY IS A MOTHERFUCKING HOSTING ISSUE IS GOING TO GET A FUCKING FIST IN THEIR EYES.
FUCKING FUCKING FUCK.18 -
*opens camera*
*permission popup asking for contacts/telephone permissions*
*installs Open Camera*
Really, fucking phone/contact permissions to take pictures?!
Yeah fuck right off.27 -
Ranted about him before but this just came to my mind again.
The fucking windows (to the max) fanboy I had to deal with for too long.
Every time I mentioned something about what programming language to use in a project he was NOT part of:
"I know it's none of my business, BUT I think you should use .net"
(All backend JavaScript and php guys).
Every time I mentioned something about what server system to use:
"I know it's none of my business but I think you should use Windows server"
(All Linux guys)
Every time I'd say something positive about Linux he'd search as long as needed to prove that that was also a windows thing (didn't even come close sometimes)
Every time I told the devs there about a windows security issue (as in "guys they found this thing, install the next update to stay safe :)" - "ahhh will do, thanks for letting know man!") he'd search as long as needed to prove that Linux also had had security issues like that.
(Okay?!? I know?!? I'm just trying to notify people so their systems stay secure and they're genuinely happy with that so STFU)
MOTHERFUCKER.17 -
A client called today because their email wasn't arriving at the receipants inbox but bouncing back with a 'poor MTA rating' error.
Checked about every blacklist I know and our server was definitely not blacklisted. Must be the receipants host which for some reason was blacklisting his specific email address.
Told the client that it wasn't a problem on our side and that he had to request a whitelist himself (we'd do it but it wasn't a specific server problem so we're not going to spend time on that).
Fair enough, he'd do that.
Calls back. "Well, the other party says that your server definitely has a poor rating, it's on your side!!"
Alright, this is getting annoying. Gave him a few blacklist checking sites links and told him to run his domain AND our server IP through it. Indeed came back completely clean.
"But the other party said it's poor rating on your side so I'd think tha........"
YEAH WHY DON'T YOU SHOVE THAT OTHER PARTY UP YOUR FUCKING ASS. I'VE SHOWN YOU PROOF THAT IT'S DEFINITELY NOT ON OUR FUCKING SIDE, EXPLAINED IT TO YOU AND SO ON. MAYBE, FOR ONE FUCKING SECOND, TAKE INTO CONSIDERATION THAT THE OTHER PARTY IS FUCKING LYING?!?!?
FUCK OFF.9 -
Fuck Microsoft.
No, not in any relation to windows this time.
Dear Microsoft, why on earth did you put us on your spam blacklist? There haven't been any spam attacks from our side, our servers have nearly the highest 'reputation' that email servers can get, we comply to all security standards and yet you're blacklisting us.
If for some reason you think something is wrong at our side anyways, we've tried to contact you and we either get ignored or get a very late response saying that we'll get delisted again within a day/week or whatsoever.
Microsoft, please go fuck yourself.25 -
After it was revealed that the Equifax hack was even bigger yet again, the US government said something that really made me say/think something in the trend of "WHAT the actual FUCK?!"
"This data is in the hands of cyber criminals anyways".
You run the biggest mass surveillance program in the world, sucking up more than a million terabytes every hour, then at least could you PRETEND to care/take interest when the personal data of about all your citizens appears on the Internet?!
Fucking hell.11 -
A quite severe vulnerability was found in Skype (at least for windows, not sure about other systems) allowing anyone with system access (remote or local) to replace the update files skype downloads before updating itself with malicious versions because skype doesn't check the integrity of local files. This could allow an attacker to, once gaining access to the system, 'inject' any malicious DLL into skype by placing it in the right directory with the right file name and waiting for the user to update (except with auto updates of course).
From a company like Microsoft, taking in mind that skype has hundreds of millions of users worldwide, I'd expect them to take a very serious stance on this and work on a patch as soon as possible.
What they said about this: they won't be fixing it anytime soon as it would require a quite big rewrite of skype.
This kinda shit makes me so fucking angry, especially when it comes from big ass companies 😡. Take your fucking responsibility, Microsoft.22 -
Just had to use Google maps for the first time in ages because nothing else was working.
It displayed a bus stop at a wrong location. I just fucking missed my bus.
Thanks for nothing, Google, go fuck yourself.14 -
Was today national 'lets not use our brains and common sense' day or something?!?
People coming with the most fucking RETARDED questions.
'ive spend hours to try and figure out why my mail isnt sending,?!'
MAYBE TRY SPELLING YOUR FUCKING OWN EMAIL ADDRESS CORRECTLY?!?!?!
Tons more of the kind of shit that you can solve yourself within three FUCKING seconds.
I'm so fucking done with today.11 -
This is so fucking, fucking annoying.
Client (through ticket system): here's new nameservers my domain has to use, please enter them thank you!"
Me: you can easily do that yourself! *gives link to extremely fucking easy click-done tutorial*
Client: oh but I'm not technical, could you please do it anyways?
HAVE YOU EVEN FUCKING LOOKED AT THE LINK?!
THIS SHIT HAPPENS EVERY GODDAMN DAY.13 -
I hate this attitude of my study (when i studied):
"it might be a good idea to teach the students how to program securely by default?"
"oh no but we just want to teach them the basics"
"so why not the secure basics by default?!"
"nah we just want them to get started and understand it, that's all. We'll get to the secure way later on"
Well, fuck you.17 -
I AM MISSING A FUCKING DIV TAG OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT AND I CANNOT FIND IT. MOTHERFUCKER FUCKING FUCK.19
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Co-worker Pranks #281: Write a program to capture keyboard input and instead output "fucking" after every "the" they type.
i.e. Can you push the fucking most recent commits
Do you want the fucking paperwork today, bossman
I can't do that today, the fucking coffee machine is not working7 -
Although this is gonna sound like bullshit, this happened to me for real. Since that moment I use even more backup services AND I regularly check EVERYTHING.
Had a backup of my important data (still used mainstream services back then) on:
- Hotmail email attachments
- Google Drive
(Both link to another email account).
- A few data backup services
- DVD
- USB
- External HDD.
I wanted to copy some backup data over again:
1. Walk to my staple of HDD's, tried to grab it, somehow missed and knocked the whole fucking pile over. HDD broken.
2. Well fuck, let's go put some of my clothes in the washing machine for clean clothes at study/monday. After this shit being in the washing machine for just a few minutes, I realized my backup USB stick was in one of my pockets, in the washing machine. FUCK. Couldn't stop it so I waited till the end, tried it and well, it wasn't working at all anymore.
Fuck my fucking life slightly right now.
3. *remembers about the backup disc*. I forgot to keep it in its case, very deep scratches and so on, unreadable. FUCKING FUCK.
4. Right, I still have those online services! *tries to login to all of them (including hotmail/gdrive) but forgot the password. Well, let's login to my backup account then (hadn't used that one in years). Account was suspended for some reason.
Started to get really anxious because every online backup service was linked to that email address.
Contacted customer support. They really couldn't restore it because of some issues they weren't allow to tell me. Sorry but I couldn't retain access.
5. Well this is fucked up. Couldn't get into any of the backup/hotmail/gdrive accounts anymore.
I tried contacting their support but never got any replies.
This was the moment I realized I fucked up big fucking time because damn, this stuff at this level hardly happens to anyone.
FUCK.39 -
Coworker: You've merged the wrong PR. It is broken.
Me: is it marked as broken? Is there a mail marking it as broken?
Coworker: yes. I wrote something in the chat.
Me: 🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕
I do NOT read and click every brain fart from the chat. I had the PR (as reviewer and dependent developer) open on my desk and waited for the coworker to fix his merge conflicts.
OK then, try to revert. Git reset hard. Push -f. Policy does not allow master modification. 🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕
Fuck this company. Fuck the policies. Fuck them all with a chainsaw. Forced me to work 2 weeks more. 17.04 should have been my last day at this circus. Let 3 other guys go to vacation while I have fix their management's mistakes. Fuck. You. All. Eat shit and suffocate in piss.8 -
Don't fucking insinuate that I'm wrong. I WILL DESTROY YOU WITH DATA.
So, someone at the factory put in a ticket that says the expedited truck carriers are showing up in the wrong place. I emailed my boss that's it's by design, has been for a while, as a result of business rules and sales wanting it to be shown as priority.
Then he passes it up the chain to see if the requested change should go through. The plant manager says his guys at the plant say it changed recently.
Then I respond "no, sorry, no changes recently. It's actually been that way at least 5 years."
He then responds "Well, my guys think it changed recently, and if it had been 'at least 5 years' they would have noticed by now."
Oh fuck no, motherfucker. You do not quote me saying I'm wrong. We have fucking version control to see the changes I have fucking proof.
At this point I'm shaking. Nothing pisses me off more than people saying I'm wrong, and nothing excites me more than telling people they're wrong. We have an overlap.
So then I go back and back and back in the blame, find the exact change and ticket for when this started happening. Email all this data to my boss. He then takes the pettiness and salt out of my tone and forwards it pretty much saying "actually, we have exact proof that it happened 6 years, 7 months ago. Here's your proof."
This happened early morning. No respond the rest of the day. That's fucking right.3 -
Fuck Windows server. Fucking fuck it. How fucking difficult can it be to create a fucking backup. Motherfucking fuckity fuck fucking fuck fuck fuck.7
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So I've been looking for a Linux sysadmin job for a while now. I get a lot of rejections daily and I don't mind that because they can give me feedback as for what I am doing wrong. But do you know what really FUCKING grinds my FUCKING gears?
BEING REJECTED BASED ON LEVEL OF EDUCATION/NOT HAVING CERTIFICATIONS FOR CERTAIN STUFF. Yes, I get that you can't blindly hire anyone and that you have to filter people out but at least LOOK AT THEIR FUCKING SKILLSET.
I did MBO level (the highest sub level though) as study which is considered to be the lowest education level in my country. lowest education level meaning that it's mostly focused on learning through doing things rather than just learning theory.
Why the actual FUCK is that, for some fucking reason, supposed to be a 'lower level' than HBO or Uni? (low to high in my country: MBO, HBO, Uni). Just because I learn better by doing shit instead of solely focusing on the theory and not doing much else does NOT FUCKING MEAN THAT I AM DUMBER OR LESS EDUCATED ON A SUBJECT.
So in the last couple of months, I've literally had rejections with reasons like
- 'Sorry but we require HBO level as people with this level can analyze stuff better in general which is required for this job.'. - Well then go fuck yourself. Just because I have a lower level of education doesn't FUCKING mean that I can't analyze shit at a 'lower level' than people who've done HBO.
- 'You don't seem to have a certificate for linux server management so it's a no go, sorry!' - Kindly go FUCK yourself. Give me a couple of barebones Debian servers and let me install a whole setup including load balancers, proxies if fucking neccesary, firewalls, web servers, FUCKING Samba servers, YOU FUCKING NAME IT. YES, I CAN DO THAT BUT SOLELY BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE THAT FUCKING CERTIFICATE APPEARANTLY MEANS THAT I AM TOO INCOMPETENT TO DO THAT?! Yes. I get that you have to filter shit but GUESS WHAT. IT'S RIGHT THERE IN MY FUCKING RESUME.
- 'Sorry but due to this role being related to cyber security, we can't hire anyone lower than HBO.' - OH SO YOUR LEVEL OF EDUCATION DEFINES HOW GOOD YOU ARE/CAN BE AT CYBER SECURITY RELATED STUFF? ARE YOU MOTHERFUCKING RETARDED? I HAVE BEEN DOING SHIT RELATED TO CYBER SECURITY SINCE I WAS 14-15 FUCKiNG YEARS OLD. I AM FAMILIAR WITH LOADS OF TOOLS/HACKING TECHNIQUES/PENTESTING/DEFENSIVE/OFFENSIVE SECURITY AND SO ON AND YOU ARE TELLING ME THAT I NEED A HIGHER LEVEL OF FUCKING EDUCATION?!?!? GO FUCKING FUCK YOURSELF.
And I can go on like this for a while. I wish some companies I come across would actually look at skills instead of (only) study levels and certifications. Those other companies can go FUCK THEMSELVES.40 -
Fucking hate it when a website asks for feedback when I just fucking went to their homepage. Fuck you.2
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So WhatsApp introduced number linking (with facebook) to its users a while ago.
I know a lot of people who opted out (this option was introduced by facebook because of european laws) because they didn't want their number linked. They said that it infringed their privacy (or however the fuck you spell that).
A few months later we found out that that checkbox thingy didn't do anything and facebook would link everything anyways. They got a 10 million euro fine I thought.
I found one thingy very disturbing though. Told some friends about the ability to opt out (when the scandal hadn't happened yet) and they did right away.
Then later on the scandal became public.
Told them about that.
'Oh but I don't have anything to hide, it's alright!'.
Jesus fucking christ how deep can people sink?! First you say that you opt out because you don't want your fucking data linked and when the fucking scandal gets public you act like everything is fine because 'you have nothing to hide anyways'.
Fucking hell.50 -
People who say something isn't working and ask us to investigate.
Alright, it's not on our side, go ask support at {differentcompany}.
*presents actual proof*
Client replies: oh but I asked the other side and they send over this proof *shows proof saying that its not on our side but very technical so the client doesn't understand* so it's definitely on your side!!!!!!
This annoys the living fucking hell out of me, FUCKING FUCK.
😡10 -
The amount of common sense questions which would require an individual to use their brain and/or a search engine for approximately a few seconds in order to gain the knowledge needed to answer it themselves was TOO FUCKING GOD DAMN HIGH TODAY.
IT CAN REALLY FUCKING PISS ME OFF SOMETIMES.17 -
WHAT DO YOU MEAN INVALID CREDENTIALS.
I JUST LOGGED IN WITH THEM ON YOUR SHITTY FUCKING WEBSITE YOU FUCKING INCOMPETENT PIECE OF WANK.
FUCK YOU YOU ARE THE WORST FUCKING CREDENTIALS SYSTEM I'VE EVER FUCKING SEEN; AND I'VE USED YAHOO10 -
It would be really FUCKING great if NodeJS or mysql could give me a FUCKING shout or ERROR MESSAGE when one of the parameters I'm giving is not the RIGHT FUCKING DATA TYPE INSTEAD OF THROWING A RANDOM ERROR THAT DOESN'T INDICATE A WRONG MOTHERFUCKING DATA TYPE. Five FUCKING hours of debugging later.17
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Fucking piece of shit forum won't let me view a fucking jpg file without creating a fucking account. Fuck you.10
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So my IT department at school accused a student (referring to him as MR) I know of taking down the Wi-Fi network.
MR, who I see at student tech support every once in a while, has zero fucking advanced technical knowledge. They thought he took down the network from his PHONE.
The FBI was even getting involved investigating him. 90% of the kids in this school can't even troubleshoot OneDrive, so I find it INCREDIBLY hard to believe a student here did anything.
THE FUCK AM I WITNESSING?
19 -
Recruiter called me again after months because he had an interesting position for me.
Something with 'it consulting' since I was 'into it' 'according to my linkedin'.
Fuck of and die.7 -
Fuck this fucking sql error for the past 2,5 fucking hours.
I'm so fucking done with this bullshit.20 -
Was thinking of a name for my currently biggest project and thought of a funny one, took the first letter of each word and started to use that to refer to the project, was thinking about domain names and such already etc.
Just wrote it down and I suddenly noticed:
ONE OF THE LETTERS IN THE SHORTCUT ISN'T CORRECT.
How the fuck did I miss that for fucking weeks?! It's not like it's a difficult sentence/set of words or anything.
I'm so fucking glad I didn't register domains or shit yet.
How. In. The. Living. Hell.12 -
FUCK YOU APPLE.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR NEED OF MY FUCKING VISA.
FUCK YOU APP STORE.
Why the fuck can’t I update any fucking app? Fuck your pigs incest company.
Think different my ass.7 -
!dev
It's one of those nights again. It's so hot that I'm constantly sweating my fucking ass off and its near impossible to ventilate here. Fucking irritated for some fucking reason and questioning all my fucking life and work decisions yet again.
I don't fucking need this right now. Have to get up in 6 hours but oh boy is this going to be a long night.16 -
Services/apps and their automatic general sayings. I fucking hate that.
'apping' is an abbreviation for either whatsapping someone or messaging them in general (in the Netherlands at least).
Sorry but I fucking hate WhatsApp and I'm not going to say that fucking app/apping word. But then in general it's confusing imo.
IF YOU'RE GOING TO TEXT ME, DON'T SAY YOU'RE GOING TO APP ME.
IF YOU'RE GOING TO SIGNAL ME, DON'T SAY YOU'RE GOING TO APP ME.
"but I meant that" - THEN FUCKING SAY IT.
I DON'T 'GOOGLE SOMETHING'. I FUCKING DUCKDUCKGO IT. NO, THAT'S NOT THE FUCKING SAME.
FUCKING HELL.18 -
Fuck fucking fuck just spent hours and hours looking why I was getting a fatal error. I overlooked a missing bracket in an SQL query. MOTHERFUCKING FUCK FUCKING FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK7
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So this is going to be one hell of a FUCKING rant.
Just heard from a friend (doing the same exams I passed, it was going to happen in two groups and he was in the second) that he failed the first out of three phases. And why?
I NEARLY FUCKING FAILED THE FIRST FUCKING PHASE. I GOT A FAIR CHANCE TO MAKE IT RIGHT AND I TOOK THAT CHANCE.
BUT.
MY FRIEND MADE THE SAME MISTAKE. HE MISSED A FUCKING DOCUMENT AND ASKED FOR OVERTIME, WHICH HE GOT AND THEN HE ASKED THE EXAMINOR VERY NICELY IF HE COULD TELL HIM WHAT DOCUMENT HE MISSED (for the record, it was bad documentation and it was not clear that it had to be a seperate document) AND WHAT DID THAT FATHERFUCKING COCKSUCKER SAY?
Hmm hmm hmmm.... nope, that's your responsibillity
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? HE HELPED ME BUT NOT HIM? I KNOW YOU LIKE ME MORE THAN HIM BUT IS THAT A MOTHERFUCKING REASON TO LET HIM FUCKING FAIL?!?!?!?
I AM MOTHERFUCKING FUCKITY FUCKING FURIOUS.9 -
Why the fuck do all these good fucking companies need that proven fucking 3 years of work fucking experience to join? You gotta fucking start somewhere11
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Background: I'm not drunk yet, BUT I'M WORKING ON IT.
okay.
I just finished a second sprint on my React app. The first was to build a merchant onboarding flow. The second was to do substantial cleanup as I learned more about react/redux, and to create a "supply order" flow -- basically purchasing marketing materials and services. I finished that in a week, and I'm pretty proud. api-guy wanted it done in a day. i laughed. he probably could have, but it would have been a copy of the code in a new repo with some lines changed.
ANYWAY. it's all done and It's super pretty and works amazingly well. It has both the onboarding flow and the ordering flow, with a nice pop-out sidebar for navigation, namespaced actions, etc. Everything is pretty clean. I even added a cart to the ordering (despite everyone telling me not to) because wtf, what if someone wants to order TWO items? dumbasses. So I made that. it's sexy.
Anyway, it's all done and shiny and fancy and wonderful and I'd *love* to share screenshots if only it didn't give away where I worked. :<
... but the point of the rant!
After the first sprint, I made a copy of the repo so I could rework it and add more functionality without touching the original. (Hey! That's what a branch is for, right? Why didn't I branch it up?
well, read on)
I knew we were going to have multiple separate flows for this app: onboard, ordering, merchant tools, admin tools, support, etc. So, I wrote its server portion (the webpack builder + http server) so it would serve the same app at whatever url the user hit, and set a cookie containing that host+url. This allows the app to serve different content (basically showing/hiding content) based on the URL and future login roles. If someone hits /order, it would hide everything but the order flow. If they're a merchant, it would show all the merchant views plus ordering, etc.
tl;dr This way I can use the same codebase for multiple sites, drastically simplifying development, branding, and what have you. This new app could obv also be a drop-in replacement for the original onboarding project because of the above.
HOWEVER. this apparently isn't good enough for api-guy. He's terrified that adding/updating future components will affect all the existing content somehow.
so.
now we have three repos for basically the same codebase. 1) onboard aka "surfboard", 2) ordering, 3) merchant tools, aka "ferrari" (the "future" app).
Except.
1) "surfboard" is a very old version of the code. 3) "ferrari" is also old, since 2) "ordering" has newer content in it now.
... and somehow this is better?
fuck if i can figure out how.
His reasoning is "well, you won't be touching surfboard or ordering for 6 months, so now you don't have to worry about it." Sure, except, you know, it'll be a pain in the ass in 6 months now when I have a crapton of code and branding to redo. ffs.
Oh. We also have three Heroku pipelines for these three repos. for the same codebase.
and now you know why i'm drinking.7 -
Note to self : when a client say "we want to develop 'exact clone' of SomeFuckingBigCompany" - Say NO.3
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I am about to fire this client.
I can't take any more of this abject fucking stupidity.
I can't take any more sentence fragment responses to detailed questions and thorough responses.
I can't take any more expectations that I deliver consistent metadata and hundreds of pages of documentation, yet no one else has to do the same
I can't take any more rules only applying to/hamstringing me and my team
I can't take any more fucking gross incompetence and grossly undereducated shitfucks that get to send ridiculous bills and have 0 accountability while playing developer
I can't take any more obviously nepotistic and racist hiring that walks back every step of progress we've made in the last 50 years
I can't take not being able to call a spade a spade and being the villain when there's obvious graft occuring at every level
I can't take these old fucks padding their retirements while rendering everyone else contractors and cutting off opportunity for future generations
I can't take how absurdly, blisteringly stupid the business people are, or the fact that one average project managers with a recent PMI cert somehow bills what I do
I'm 100% going to drop dime on these fucks to every regulatory body they are beholden to, their investors, their corporate owners and USCIS, since I've already doxxed the shit out of all of my coworkers that don't remotely qualify for the positions they occupy.5 -
FUCK THIS GOD DAMN ESSAY I DON'T WANT TO WRITE 2500 FUCKING WORDS ABOUT SHITTY SCRUM OR SOME OTHER BULLSHIT. WHY DO I HAVE TO WRITE ESSAYS ABOUT THIS SHIT WHEN I SHOULD BE CODING. FUCK ESSAYS FUCK ESSAYS FUCK ESSAYS!!14
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!rant
I just started to use Fira Code as my main font because another awesome user recommended it and I must say, this shit is beautiful. This is what I love about this community. I learn more and get to know more cool shit because of what users say in here than the 5 years I spent at uni. You ninjas rock!7 -
First day of work. I would think that the company would have prepared a bloody workstation for me but hey, didn't think much of it. Only spent about 15 fucking minutes finding the right computer to give me.
Next, I had to open visual studio 2013 to set up (I meditated the night before for this). It then gave the usual "This may take a few minutes" bullshit message. That message appeared at 0900. It is now 0930. 30 BLOODY FUCKING MINUTES!! At the 15th minute mark, I decided to check the computer's properties, wondering why it was taking its sweet ass time. I couldn't believe my bloody, fucking, god-given eyes. 4GB OF FUCKING RAM INSTALLED ON A FUCKING 32-BIT WIN7 OS! AND ONLY 2.99GB IS USABLE!! HOW DO THEY EXPECT ME TO DEVELOP WITH THAAAAAT???? CHROME TAKES UP LIKE ALL OF THAT!! &#;?@,×&@@&*×,×&;÷*÷, EID MWMALWMDNLWKSNSKSKDKKEMSKAKASLSMDBDNSNMSM
I SWEAR IF I DONT GET A CHANGE IN COMPUTERS, I WILL PUNCH A MOTHERFUCKING BITCH!11 -
WHY THE FUCK DO YOU KEEP WASTING MY FUCKING TIME WITH POINTLESS MEETINGS ABOUT WHAT METHODOLOGIES YOU GONNA USE TO GET THE FUCKING DATA????
JUST GIVE ME THE FUCKING DATA AFTER YOU DISCUSS THIS SHIT AND TELL WHAT THE FUCK I HAVE TO DO WITH IT!!!
FUCKING WASTING MY FUCKING TIME AND WANTING SHIT TO BE DONE! WHAT THE FUCK!5 -
FUUUCK I HATE FUCKING WORDPRESS AND PHP!!!! FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK.
I didnt change anyfuckingthing and everything went to shit! FUCK! FUCK YOU FUCKING FUUUUUCK!23 -
Fuck that fucking company three way while dozens of homeless HIV crack junkies puke and shit their diarrhea on the three bosses!
I can't put it in words how stupid they are!
Let me try to tell you the latest story while I try not to get multiple strokes.
Backstory: We are three devs, all with a TCCI certification. One has been working for us for almost a year, the other one has been working for us since one and a half year. Both are good friends of mine, btw. I have been working there for almost three years.
Fortunately, I am allowed to work on a reasonable computer. The other devs work on PC's with Windows 7 and 8!
One has just 400 MB space left on his drive and has to delete every month some shit because he does not want to be able to call up websites anymore... How awful?!
The PC of the other great Dev Crashes three to six times a day and needs about 30 minutes to start up!
We can be so productive, but...
We told that in February one of our bosses and asked him to buy new hardware. His answer: yes, of course, I understand that, it's my turn (he always says that "ich bin da dran")
We got a new colleague in the middle of this fucking month. She is responsible for conception.
She works on an old notebook, but today she gets a fucking new PC to work on while the devs are trying to weld with a sparkler! Better hardware than every other Dev PC!!!
Guess what? She is the daughter of a friend of one of our bosses!
We are the only devs at this company.
Fuck that fucking company! Fuck that fucking bosses!
I think we don't go to work for that fucking company anymore!7 -
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! FOR FUCK SAKES!
FUCKING GODDAMN FUCK SHIT CUNT FUCK!
no reasons needed... that's my rant3 -
Github bought by Microsoft.
GitLab migrating to Google.
I Already didn't use github but I'm a - that'll change soon - gitlabber.
Post alternatives in the comments please!22 -
Client: hey ***, happy birthday can you help me fixing....
Me thinking: hell no, i deal with yall fuckers 364 days a fucking year and yall can't leave me the hell alone for one cocksucking day. I need this one damn day a year not dealing with yall assholes where i don't snap and drive 300 fucking miles to not drive a nail in a broomstick and drive it up your fucking asdls6 -
FUCKING FUCK JAVASCRIPT AND IT'S FUCKING 10000 DEVDEPENDENCIES.
LET ME FUCKING CODE AND WRITE TESTS AND NOT SPEND FUCKING ONE FUCKITY FUCK WEEK TRYING TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO FUCKING MAKE MOCHA AND KARMA PLAY WITH FUCKING ES6 CODE YOU FUCKING FUCKTARD PIECE OF SHIT TECH.
I NO LONGER FUCKING KNOW WHICH PACKAGES I FUCKING NEED AND WHICH I FUCKING DON'T FUCKING DUMBFUCK FUCKWIT OPEN AND HACKABLE MY BROWN ASS PIECE OF TECHNOLOGY STACK.
8 -
There was once this customer, which wanted a project done. It was for around 2/3 weeks of work. The arranged cost was 500€, but when I said how long I'll need, he said:
No. I need it done in 5 days. Every day over, I deduct 50€ from the payment.
I was out of the building in less than a minute.
Fuck this type of customers.10 -
All respect to android (love the system (no, that doesn't mean that I love google)) and also to awesome custom roms (hell even some vendors make quite good ones imo!).
BUT WHO THE FUCKING HELL THOUGHT IT WOULD BE A GOOD IDEA TO LIMIT THE AMOUNT OF ALARMS YOU CAN HAVE TO 15 OR EVEN LIMIT IT AT ALL?!?
I HAVE TO GET UP AT 3:30 FOR WORK EACH NIGHT AND THIS IS *NOT* HELPING.
THE PERSON WHO THOUGHT THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA CAN TAKE A PHONE, OPEN THAT DEFAULT CLOCK APP AND SHOVE IT UP HIS FUCKING ASS.24 -
blockchain.
blockchain?
blockchain!
Why THE FUCK does a game of poker need fucking blockchain?
FUCK.
11 -
9:30 - College
10:00 - Heard we got to build a fucking portfolio website in WordPress.
10:02 - Said I already had a personal portfolio
10:03 - Heard I still have to build a fucking WordPress portfolio website..
11:20 - Remembered I put on my portfolio that I don't want to fucking use WordPress!!!!!
Now - I live in pain. Building a WP site so I do NOT have to do it later :/12 -
Recently, Comcast limited my bandwidth to 1TB. I'd be upset, but my service is so slow I don't think I could use it all in just a month!7
-
FUCK JOOMLA, SERIOUSLY FUCK IT. HOW DIFFICULT CAN IT BE TO REMOVE ONE FUCKING ITEM?! FUCKING FUCK FUCK FUCK6
-
Why the fuck would iTunes or any product from Apple (or anywhere) care what Outlook is doing or if it's even there?!?
I have no settings, add-ons, mods, apps, or anything that would justify this!
And it came TWICE in a single update installation!!!
9 -
Business: we need feature x in two
Days, highly urgent!
Me: fine, here’s a shitty implementation we can live with until you decide how to Actually make this work in the future.
2 days pass...
Me: where’s the content for feature x?
Business: awaiting approval
5 more days pass...
Me: I’m guessing this super urgent request wasn’t needed after all?
Business: it’s still awaiting approval
Me: so... I’ll just go and remove this feature, and revisit when its actually needed.
Business: no, it’s needed now, we are just waiting on approval
Me: 🤷♂️
Duck my life sometimes.
I could have built a full fledged system of this shitty hack job instead in the time taken to approve a useless piece of content.6 -
I've got an Arduino now and I was building lights the last weeks to understand the coding. But when it comes to use full stuff I could do my mind is empty. Do you have any suggestions for me?
.
.
I know there have to be FUCKs in a good rant. So I will miss use the tags...
14 -
So this Fujitsu monitor has a Vesa 100x100 mount but the monitor stand isn't removable. Bruh, why even bother putting a Vesa mount on the monitor if you can't take the original damn stand off. Fuck you Fujitsu, fuck you.
6 -
IT'S ALMOST 2021 AND I STILL HAVE TO FUCK WITH WSCRIPT OBJECTS FOR AN INTERNET EXPLORER WEB APP WHY? 😡10
-
Fucking shit fuck! Absolute cunty-chops of a Work phone just went off at 3am because our directory has clearly been leaked.
This cunt right here is on 24/7 fallout so I can nae silence the bastard. It’s going inte do not disturb for the evening now but.
About 6 months to a year ago we started getting nuisance calls on the cunts. On floated numbers that seem geographically close.
Work have done fuck all in this time, because considering changing ours is a pain in the dick, and costs.
But tonight at 3am I got another; call, immediate hang up on redial.
This wee iPhone prick is looking at me like “ho! Got ya ye fucker”... it’s lucky it’s not been punted out the winde where it belongs. Little fucking prick.
If I look like shit tomorrow at the office, if any prick decides to mention I look tired, I’m gonnae tear the ballbags a new hole between their baws and their arse.
It’s now 4am, sorry fe the language, my Glaswegian heritage shines through at this time in the morning.5 -
FUCK! It's so FUCKING HOT. GODDAMN FUCKING SHIT. EVERYTHING IS SO MUCH MORE FUCKING ANNOYING IN THE HEAT. COUPLE THAT WITH THE FACT THAT I SUCK ASS AT EVERYTHING I TRY TO DO AND I SNAP AT THE SLIGHTEST THING. I NEED THAT FUCKING DEVRANT STRESS BALL, BEFORE I THROW MY SHITTY BOOK ACROSS THE ROOM, FOLLOWED BY MY CONTROLLER, MY LAPTOP, AND MY DESK SOON AFTER.
Fuck.12 -
FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU
NOTHING, FUCKING NOTHING IS WORKING SINCE I MADE THIS FUCKING UPDATE
FUCK YOU WINDOWS, FUCK YOU MICROSOFT
12 -
Feeling productive at a Sunday evening. Let's install a DNS server and a fucking mail server on two forgotten VPS's I am still paying for.
SO A-FUCKING-PPEARANTLY, THEIR WEB MANAGEMENT PANEL IS FUCKED UP SO I CANNOT REINSTALL MY MOTHERFUCKER VPS's. HOW FUCKING FUCKING FUCKING FUCKING DIFFICULT CAN IT BE.15 -
> be me
> be fooled into a company that says they do agile, tests and best practiced
> theyreallydont.jpg
> read issue "The last name is not showing on X and Y screen".
> www.fixed.it
> they ask why isnt it also fixed on screen A, B, C, D, E, F, G.
> ...
fuck you9 -
My school just tried to hinder my revision for finals now. They've denied me access just today of SSHing into my home computer. Vim & a filesystem is soo much better than pen and paper.
So I went up to the sysadmin about this. His response: "We're not allowing it any more". That's it - no reason. Now let's just hope that the sysadmin was dumb enough to only block port 22, not my IP address, so I can just pick another port to expose at home. To be honest, I was surprised that he even knew what SSH was. I mean, sure, they're hired as sysadmins, so they should probably know that stuff, but the sysadmins in my school are fucking brain dead.
For one, they used to block Google, and every other HTTPS site on their WiFi network because of an invalid certificate. Now it's even more difficult to access google as you need to know the proxy settings.
They switched over to forcing me to remote desktop to access my files at home, instead of the old, faster, better shared web folder (Windows server 2012 please help).
But the worst of it includes apparently having no password on their SQL server, STORING FUCKING PASSWORDS IN PLAIN TEXT allowing someone to hijack my session, and just leaving a file unprotected with a shit load of people's names, parents, and home addresses. That's some super sketchy illegal shit.
So if you sysadmins happen to be reading this on devRant, INSTEAD OF WASTING YOUR FUCKING TIME BLOCKING MORE WEBSITES THAN THEIR ARE LIVING HUMANS, HOW ABOUT TRY UPPING YOUR SECURITY, PASSWORDS LIKE "", "", and "gryph0n" ARE SHIT - MAKE IT BETTER SO US STUDENTS CAN ACTUALLY BROWSE MORE FREELY - I THINK I WANT TO PASS, NOT HAVE EVERY OTHER THING BLOCKED.
Thankfully I'm leaving this school in 3 weeks after my last exam. Sure, I could stay on with this "highly reputable" school, but I don't want to be fucking lied to about computer studies, I don't want to have to workaround your shitty methods of blocking. As far as I can tell, half of the reputation is from cheating. The students and sysadmins shouldn't have to have an arms race between circumventing restrictions and blocking those circumventions. Just make your shit work for once.
**On second thought, actually keep it like that. Most of the people I see in the school are c***s anyway - they deserve to have half of everything they try to do censored. I won't be around to care soon.**2 -
"Condor, your new Samsung Galaxy S8+ doesn't have the latest Google apps"
You know what Google? I don't give a shit about your latest apps. Often times I go out of my way to root the device and remove your mandatory bloatware, that YOU fucking Google enforce OEM's to preinstall. Fortunately BlueStacks doesn't have them preinstalled, which saves me the pain of uninstalling them. Given that, you've got quite the balls to spam me with this shit Google.
By the way, another thing.. this preinstall shit is linked to the EU antitrust rulings, isn't it? And spam is linked to GDPR, and honestly I don't recall ever opting in to this kind of wanketeering mail. In fact, I usually go out of my way to opt out of this kind of corporate wankery. Time for another huge fine perhaps?15 -
Writing a Firefox add-on which analyzes the current webpage's links and puts a warning if one of those links to one of the prism (surveillance network) integrated services/companies.
Nearly ready enough for testing (real working version) when I suddenly realize: web pages can request resources without links.
Gotta rewrite the fucker partly now.
How fucking stupid can I be. 😐13 -
This is the last straw. I am so done with Chrome.
…
I woke up AGAIN this morning to my MacBook shining away brightly, having not gone to sleep the ENTIRE night. I did some better research this time and discovered it's actually Chrome that is causing this.
Yes Chrome is deciding whether my MacBook goes to sleep or not.
I am not ok with this. Worse, it doesn't even have any ability to change this behavior. It's basically a hidden "feature" of Chrome: it wastes your hydro too!
This is not the first time this has happened either. Last time my MacBook wasn't properly plugged in and it completely drained the battery, shutting it right off. I ranted about that already.
But I am just SO fucking livid about this right now. What on EARTH is going through google's mind that they think this is in any way even REMOTELY acceptable?
I've already filed a bug report but I think this is the last straw. I am just sick to death of Chrome. This bug is literally costing me money and damaging my property.
Shove it right up your fucking ass, Google. Right up there and twist it around.
I'm switching back to a real browser.
32 -
Just had Windows pop up with a notification saying “We’ve turned on storage sense for you”. Love it how the default is “When Windows Decides”. Was that why countless users lost their data back in October 2018???
I think I’ll turn that off permanently 😂😂😂
5 -
You know a company is ripping you off when they charge £79 for a fucking charger and it breaks in 1 year. Fuck you Apple2
-
You fucking piece of crap of an idiotic client. What the fuck do you need to know more than “job will start upon signing the quote”? A fucking bouquet of flowers? And now you need a meeting to “improve communication between you and us”. Read the fucking emails, I’m not your fucking employee. “Why should we wait that we approve the ticket or whatever to get the job done?” BECAUSE YOU DON’T HAVE A FUCKING MAINTENANCE CONTRACT. I am not your buddy and I don’t fucking do favours. You want the job done? Either you accept the quote, or you accept the ticket request, or you subscribe to a fucking prepaid or flat maintenance contract. It’s simple as that you fucking elephant broken Asshole.
Fuck you and your fucking meeting requests.7 -
/* rant */
I freaking hate it when people call me to fix their 9 gazillion dollar ultra extreme enthusiast alien technology pc just so they can play a a god damn freaking son of a damn bloody bitchy fb game on 9000 fps in 4k while some people struggle to have 6 tabs open at the same time so they can code+compile+preview+consult the interwebs. And lets just not mention the amount of monitors mmkay?5 -
Today I woke up on a beautiful day, feeling well rested. Then I remember PHP is a thing and it all went to shit. FUCK YOU, FUCK SHIT FUCK4
-
Tomorrow is monday...
Monday...
That fucking shit day which cause feelings like being lost forever...8 -
3 Days Group Project.
1. day (get into matter, collect ideas)
2. day (mate was sick and stayed home, I programmed our Java game from scratch 100%)
3. day (he comes again, gets my source code, changes games wallpaper and sets tick speed to 60 instead of 30.
He deletes my version on all presentation PCs because he thought his was "better")2 -
I fucking nailed my c exam.
Had to write C on paper today. Fuck my uni for that. But I think I aced it. I coded C for weeks and hopefully finally payed off.
Fuck coding on paper though. They are just too lazy to make something digital. But man at least let me get some compiler messages. It's not like anyone codes without compiler messages anymore. -
So yeah, we released our app for 26k people to use two days ago. Due to circumstances not under our control, that was developed way faster than it should've. Today we're two days in and everything is going horrible. 26 thousand people are having trouble using it (not every problem is our fault, but ofc they don't give a shit) and our support team is not big enough to handle every request. We're not able to find any more people to help us handle it, so some developers are being used for support. But that slows the bugfixes a lot. We're at risk of losing our jobs because we will not be able to make it work in due time.
In Italy, at the beginning of the year a particular type of invoice became necessary and to handle that everyone needs a particular kind of email called "certified", you know, because Italy, and today our certified email server went offline for the whole fucking day because the provider was an overload of feces. We were overwhelmed by the amount of people that needed help.
I don't even know what to say, if we don't fix it we're fucking fucked, like literally.
I really hope everyone is having a nice new year. For us, this is going terrible.3 -
Just watching some videos about feminism and I'm just thinking: "how fucking nutty are these people really?!"
Too drunk right now to write about the recent developments in Mozilla's adoption of "the big bad patriarchy and meritocracy" (and I don't have the password database mirrored on my recently unfucked WanBLowS 10 desktop yet so I've no idea how to authenticate to devRant on it yet) but I'll try to get it out there by tomorrow 🙂
Simply put, Mozilla.. I like you regardless of the whole Mr. Robot crap from earlier, and I'm sure you've got your heart in the right place.. although I'm using Brave nowadays - a creation from the board member you've shunned over this whole PC shit, Brandon Eich. But let me tell you this, Mozilla. Enough is enough. Don't be fucking idiots.24 -
Fuck you Windows 10 and your fucking mandatory updates that fuckes up every fucking time! Fuck you and your fucking inability to update beyond 71 fucking percent! This is the last fucking time you waste my time, your fucking out! Fuck you!!!15
-
So I wanted to update my visual studio. Turns out I cant because WPF (Apparently the Installers uses it) has a problem with broken fonts.
Okay. No problem I thought. I uninstalled all 720 fonts and re-registered them, filtering out the 3 broken ones. Checked the time-stamp as suggested. Everything fine. Had to reboot. (Of curse.)
Rechecked the fonts, reports as okay. Tried to start the installer BUT THIS FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT SOFTWARE CRASHES ON ME AGAIN WITH THE SAME FOCKING ERROR. IT DOESN'T EVENT WANT TO FUCKING TELL ME WHICH FUCKING FONT IS THE PROBLEM. I CHECKED EVERYYYY SINGLE FUCKING FONT. NOT THAT THERE IS NO FUCKING WAY TO FUCKING CATCH A FUCKING FUCKER EXCEPTION IN THIS FUCKING WORLD. I mean seriously. Why would you crash on a font THAT YOU DON'T EVEN USE IN YOUR FUCKING FUCK PROGRAMM TO INSTALL YOUR FUCKING PICE OF SHIT SOFTWARE.
But, IT GETS WORSE. TURNS OUT MICKY FUCKING SOFT KNOWS ABOUT THIS FUCKING BUG SINCE TWO-FUCKING-THOUSAND-FOURTEEN.
And they didn't fixed it. Nooooooooo. THEY FUCKING WROTE A FUCKING WORKAROUND THAT DOES NOT FUCKING WORKKKKKK AND KEEP PUTTING THIS FUCKING BUG IN EVERY FUCKING INSTALLER SINCE THEN.
Can you tell I'm pissed? YES? GOOOOOOD. BECAUSE I FUCKING AM.
MICKYSOFT CAN GO AND SUCK A FUCKING APPROPRIATE THING TO SUCK IN THIS FUCKING SITUATION.
THE BEST? THEY EVEN FUCKING DARE TO ASK ABOUT MY FUCKING FEEDBACK. YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU GET MY FUCKING FEEDBACK. TOGETHER WITH A FUCKING BAG FULL OF FUCKING SHIT TO YOUR FUCKING HQ
CAN I HAVE A FUCKING STRESSBALL NOW
</rant>
3 -
Never mind to my last rant. I FUCKING ACCIDENTALLY FUCKING NAMED A MYSQL FUCKING GOD FUCKING DAMN FIELD FUCKING DESC FUCK FUCK FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKKKKKKKK FUCK fuck FUCK
5 -
Fucking websites that has forms with an option to opt-out (instead of opt-in) for newsletters.
Translation of the image:
"I do not want receive the monthly newsletter with discounts and informarion about the newest smartphones"
9 -
Just installed linux (Ubuntu 16.04.3 LTS x64) because windows update was being a cunt, instantly, it all fell into place and I got it fully running with minecraft (using generic driver, but it actually works pretty well, don't worry I will get the proper one tomorrow) and a desktop icon for it within two hours compare to windows (update) taking 4 days to do barely any updates, not accepting java or graphics drivers, which it requires because fuck opengl with the default drivers.
Fuck windows. Hooray for linux!
Now back to programming...
Thanks for putting up with me but I just need to vent because I felt like I couldn't program (and I didn't) because of FUCKING DOOLALY WINDOWS 8!
Btw thanks to the local charity shop for introducing me to (SUSE) linux when I was like 11, giving me a hope in hell of using linux. I now have around 11 bootable linux disks and 1 bootable flash.3 -
Fuck Safari
Fuck Apple
Why the fuck do I have to fucking over stress myself to get a simple thing working on your fucking platform.6 -
there's this club at my school, called STEM, and another called "science olympiad." both are pretty cringey, bad, or boring. science olympiad was just for the college credit. during the intro to the club, they said there was a coding section. "game on!" is what they dubbed it as, where basically you're timed to make a game in scratch. i'm fucking tired of it. why is scratch considered programming? don't get me wrong, i'll write an OS in PHP before i say code.org is better than scratch, but fuck it. its a fucking interpreted language that's interpreted by another interpreted language. i don't understand why this shit is still used. scratch isn't good. please codecademy or w3schools or just write in binary directly, but not scratch. my hand hurts from dragging and dropping, my eyes hurt from the light theme, my imaginary cat committed suicide after learning about scratch's mascot. fuck it. now onto stem club, fuck it too. not for being bad (well, kinda), but for not being more recognized. it should be above science olympiad, and other clubs because you actually have to think instead of just memorize. but alas, we still were offered the choice of scratch to program the robot. sigh. arduino much? i guess not. challenging much? nope. was i elected "leader"? with three of my friends out of the eight there, i could have been, but no. effort in this would be depressing.
-
How I feel after unnecessarily deleting my USB stick
My sister needed a "big USB stick" I deleted the contents of my 32gb stick and went to her pc, we started loading her photos on it, I see the 8gb stick and ask her what she needed my stupid stick for
And yes the other one was empty...
11 -
FUCK ME!!
For a job, I have to create a form with more than 20 fields!! FUCK!!
The most shitty part is that I need to gather all the shit users fill in (if they even fill it in) and place in a shitty e-mail and send that to the client!! FUCK!!16 -
So, Europe lost today...
Now we just have to hope, that companies will apply these laws only in countries where they should, otherwise a really dark times for internet are coming.9 -
FUCK YOU if your IDE IS TOO FUCKING BAD TO LOAD MY FUCKING 300 LINES C# PROJECT IN FIVE MINUTES WHAT THE FUCK2
-
How come it is so hard to find good developers. Have been doing interviews for a couple of weeks now (for a senior PHP developer role).
First round is me talking about the function and company, asking questions about candidates experience, wishes and we usually end in some tech conversations. Most of the resumes I got are pretty fucking good. I mean, experience with low-level languages, experience with the problems we need to solve here, contributions to open-source, experience in R and MathLab etc etc. On paper they look perfect.
For the second round I give them an assessment which they can do at home on their own machine in their own time. It's not a hard one, just some mathmatical problems they need to solve. A quick google GIVES the answer (no joke!!). But that's OK, I look at their code cleanliness, proper use of commenting so I can determine if they are solo-developers or fit good in a team and if they abstract repeated functions and make sure that they take their work seriously, you know the drill.
It pisses me off that I get BROKEN FUCKING CODE WHICH DOES NOT EVEN RUN and that I get code back which I look at and makes me vomit instantly, I mean, DO YOU EVEN TAKE YOUR PROFESSION SERIOUS? How dare you to ask for 50k the year, a lease-car, extra bonusses AND YOUR FUCKING CODE SPITS OUT COMPLETLY WRONG ANSWERS OR DOES NOT EVEN RUN WHAT THE FUCK DUDE GO BACK TO FROM WHICH EVER HOLE YOU CRAWLED OUT AND STOP WASTING OTHER PEOPLES TIME WITH YOUR FUCKING INCOMPENTENCE...19 -
Conclusion for this week:
Arrrgggh I worked so fucking long...
Thanks EU, FUCK ARTICLE 13,
FUCK EU, FUCK POLITICIANS, FUCK ALL!
PYTHON WHY THE FUCK, WHAT THE FUCK, HOW AND WHY?!??
FUCKFUCKFUCK
Have I missed something?6 -
Article 13 has been FUCKING PASSED. SHIT SHIT FUCKEDDY FUCK ING FUCK-CHRIST ON A FUCKING FUCK BYCICLE MADE OF FUCKING ARSNIC COVERED LEGO BRICKS WITH PINS INSTEAD OF BUMPS BEING RIDDEN BY THE DECREPIT CORPSES THE EU CALLS A FUCKING GOVERNMENT!!
FUCK FUCK FUCKING FUCK SHIT AAAAAAAAAARGGGGG!
First chance I get I'm asking for a transfer to America.
13 -
I got a little pissed over the quality of a website. They asked me for my opinion and they had the gall to try and skew that opinion. Not very truthful, and if anything says a great deal about what this company stands for.
1 -
!rant
Had a meeting with the head of my department concerning the status of many of our current projects. Them projects are huge and it is 2 dedicated devs(me and the lead) working on them whilst training our CMS admin in development to help out(dude is talented af and really digs programming) and my manager was so worried about what he was gonna say.
The thing is, she doesn't know how to take a break, she never pushes us, but she does push herself and it pains the team to see her take so much heat. She really is a bomb manager, and we want her to be more at ease.
Well a couple of days ago the vips of the board decided to bombard her with shit since out dptmnt head was on sick leave. The stress they put on her was some military grade bs and even then she never...EVER took it out on anyone.
The head of our department walked in to talk to us about it. Dude is a tall older gentleman, suits up every day(Texas style meaning cowboy boots and everything) and is quite imposing. Has a stern look man, one of them 1000 mile stares and a huge mustache that more than surpasses mine(which mind you, my mustache is fucking outstanding)
Our boss walked into the meeting room, sat down and heard what she had to say, she was not excusing herself. As bomb as this gorgeous woman is she was all about telling him what we were going to show the board on next week's meeting.
He sat there quietly listening to her as well as the presentation that me and my boys had to do.
What happened next blew me the fuck out of this world.
He said that he was sorry that so much stress had come down to her and us whilst he was gone and that he was happy with the leadership showcased by her and the initiative that the team took to put forward a presentation for him and the board. He also said that he was going to make said presentation for us since the vips had no business stressing us out, he asked for our assistance for any of the technical stats since even though he was a programmer he is not aware of all the inner details of our apps. He said that it is commendable that such a small team can hold 2 campus(college level) and that he was aware of the technical proficiency of me and the lead and that he knows that our shit is not something that gets done overnight.
He then said that at any given time that we get antagonized by matters such as timeframes or shit like that that we can direct everyone to him, regardless of what.
.He was also really amazed at the progress we showed him on the current projects(most are on their respective testing phases).
He then reiterated on how proud he is of all of us before biding us a good weekend and leaving to his office
As i sat there watching how the world was lifted from my manager and happy that he enjoyed the progress of my work I could not help but feel a deep sense of admiration and respect for this mysterious man.
I would damn skippy take a bullet for him....just in case my draw gets sloppy that is, ain't no one taking aim at the boss.4 -
Got drunk during work time because fuck openvpn, fuck anyconnect, and fuck badly designed vpn servers in general.
A fucking pptp connection, man, a fucking pptp.8 -
Windows not powering off when I press the shutdown button.
Mandatory long rant warning
Oh my fucking god, how many times have I lost my shit because of this fucking bullshit.
When I press the shutdown button, I want you to shut the fuck down you sorry excuse for an operating system.
Me and my friends want to hang out together, so I shut down my PC and walk over to their house, expecting an intense session of doing programming stuff and debating linux distros. Whatever the fuck we do when we get together.
I get to their house and pull out my laptop,, only its hot as fuck. And then I see it: the battery indicator is red. "What the balls?" I think to myself. I open the lid, and guess what?
WINDOWS DIDN'T FUCKING SHUT DOWN, AND IT STAYED ON THE POWERING OFF SCREEN ALL THIS FUCKING TIME. WHAT THE FUCK?
Now, my laptop has a bomb ass battery, so I didn't even bring a charger with me, and now I'm fucking stuck at a programming session with friends without a computer. FUCKING BULLSHIT.
If this was a one time thing, I wouldn't have cared so much, but this happened countless fucking times. Too many.
I would have deleted this cum socket of an operating system months ago if it weren't for the Windows exclusive software I need for school, and now that Steam supports games for linux, Windows has even less of an excuse to stay on my fucking laptop.
Windows is supposed be fucking simple, but linux takes it by a goddamn long shot. When I type "shutdown now" or "poweroff", linux shuts the fuck down, no questions asked. And if I ever need root permissions, I just type "sudo" instead of restarting the fucking program and requesting admin privileges.
Most of the software I use is compatible with both MacOS and Windows, and I already have Ubuntu installed on my laptop, so what do you guys think, should I butcher Windows off of my SSD and give MacOS a try?
Also, what is this magic? Ranting actually calmed me the fuck down... I need to start ranting more.
FUCK MICROSOFT AND FUCK WINDOWS, I WISH I COULD BURN TO FUCKING OBLIVION6 -
DEBUGGING ARDUINO IS A FUCKING PAIN WHYYYYY
FUCK THIS PROJECT
FUCK SPI
FUCK I2C
FUCK JTAG
FUCK PROPRIETARY DEBUG HEADERS
FUCK USBTINY
FUCK AVRDUDE24 -
So, I recently switched to DuckDuckGo and my fucking college REDIRECTS THE FUCKING URL TO FUCKING GOOGLE.
FUCK YOU!!!!!2 -
Being a programmer in a scientific discipline can be infuriating.
using "no one" ="almost no one"
using everyone = "almost everyone"
1. No one knows what even the very idea of good practice is. And everyone refuses to learn. 3k lines of repetitive copy pasted main. 500 lines of plotting method.
2. Raw C-style pointer based array creation. Won't use develope array libraries because what if development stops. FUCKING HAVE YOU SEEN YOUR CODE WHAT IF DEVELOPMENT ON YOUR CODE STOPS. FUCK.
3. LOOP VARIABLES DECLARED AT THE BEGINNING OF THE METHOD WHY.
4. Everyone wants to make modular, independent code. No one wants to use OOP. NOPE. ALL IN ONE FILE. WRITE C++ LIKE A FUCKING PYTHON NOTEBOOK. FUCK.
5. LIBRARIES OH MY GOD PLEASE DO NOT CODE UP YOUR MATRIX MULTIPLICATION. PLEASE DO NOT TRIPLE LOOP IT. NO. THE LINEAR ALGEBRA LIBRARY WILL STAY IN DEVELOPMENT.
6. Please realize that literally not one comment over an 1800 line file does not help anyone.
FUCKING. WHY. WHY ARE WE SCIENTISTS SO GOOD AT SCIENCE AND SO FUCKING SHIT AT THE CODE THAT MAKES OUR SCIENCE HAPPEN. WHY. FUCKING. WHY. FUCK.4 -
Youtube coding influncers are shit and do not know anything about the real world coding....
Am I the only one who feels like this???
And aren’t there way too many of em????10 -
I REALLY HATE IIS. IT IS THE STUPIDEST FUCKING PLATFORM. FUCK. WHERE THE FUCK ARE MY FUCKING ERROR LOGS YOU STUPID PIECE OF FUCKING CRAP. FUCKING KILL ME YOU STUPID SERVER ASS BITCH CUNT2
-
This just happened to me, a few minutes ago:
Colleague: Could you please call xyz and ask how we can administer their server and ask about the bug?
Me: Sure, gonna do this after lunch.
[...]
Me: So I called xyz, and we're now able so ssh into the machine to administer stuff [...] and they'll check the bug.
Colleague: Oh yeah great, I called xyz a hour ago and we're all set didn't they tell you?
Me: No, they didn't.. (YOU GOD DAMN PIECE OF SHIT!)
Colleague: Oh an what about the bug?
Me: ...
It's totally fine if you're going to do it yourself but WHY dou you WASTE MY TIME? You could've told me that you already called them! 🤬1 -
Company top execs: "We need to optimize our costs and reduce our expenditure by x€ to keep the profit margin at acceptable levels for the shareholders"
YOU ARE PUSHING OUT SHIT PRODUCTS DAY IN AND DAY OUT THAT YOU FUCKING SUITS THINK WILL BE THE NEXT BIG THING BUT NOONE REALLY WANTS OR NEEDS. WE ALREADY HAVE A TON OF THOSE BORN-DEAD SHITCAKES HANGING AROUND ABD NEW ONES ARE ALREADY BEING PREPARED FOR LAUNCH.
"OPTIMIZE COSTS"? HOW ABOUT YOU STOP PRODUCING SHIT AND STICK TO YOUR FUCKING CORE BUSINESS MODEL!!!
"OPTIMIZE COSTS"? WE HAVE A ZERG OF OLD FUCKS, WHO ARE STILL WAITING FOR THE FUCKING SMS TO START THE NEXT TECH REVOLUTION, ON OUR PAYROLL. ALL THEY FUCKING DO IS PLAY SUDOKU IN THE KITCHEN AND DISCUSS TECHNIQUES ON HOW TO RAISE GOATS!!!
"NO MONEY TO GIVE A PAYRISE TO DEVELOPERS"? WHY DONT YOU JUST FUCKING GET RID OF THE USELESS DUDES BASICALLY DOING THEIR TENURE AND CLOSE SOME OF THESE FUCKTARDED PRODUCTS THAT 4 PEOPLE OUTSIDE OF THE FUCKING COMPANY USE BUT NEED A TEAM OF FUCKING 20 TO MAINTAIN! NO!!! THEY WILL NOT BE THE NEXT BIG THING! NO!!! ANYTHING YOU SHITCAKES WHO THINK MOBILE APPS IS THE "NEW EMERGING MARKET" WILL EVER CREATE THE NEXT FUCKING BIG THING!!!!!
STICK TO YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS AND STOP CREATING USELESS SHIT THATS MAADE BY FUCKING USELESS PEOPLE!!!!
FUUUUUCCCCCKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!! -
Soooo.... It's almost summer alright.. Centralized heating is long gone already and they forecast +1C tonight.
I mean I do have to survive... Guess I'm keeping this overnight
yeah, pic qlty us shitty, sensors say it's 70-80
23 -
Algorithm online tech tests need to get in the fucking bin.
Fuck Codility, fuck Testdome, fuck HackerRank.
This is not how you test developers!6 -
WHAT THE FUCK!!
For a freelance job I searched for a JS function in the HTML document of a Wordpress site that was given to me.
Found it and wanted to get started on the project, but there was something odd about this website (besides it's a Wordpress site). The scrollbar was fucking small and when I scrolled down, all I saw was breaks. An almost endless number of breaks.
Then suddenly There was a line of HTML!! And then another 126 breaks.. :/
(Yeah that's right, I calculated the number of breaks between every line of HTML). This document has 75732 lines of shit.
The whole fucking website loaded in over 20 seconds!! What the fuck is that?!?! The document itself is 258 kB!!
But whatever, I get paid.4 -
May the people responsible for the decision to let Windows 10 wake up people's PCs from sleep mode in the middle of the night to install patches and then force-restart be tortured for eternity in hell. All of the hells. Of every religion. At the same time. While having to stare at a Windows ME bluescreen of death without the ability to blink or look away. For 65535 eternities. Followed by a buffer overflow.5
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i honestly hate the ap computer science principles curriculum. we're taking an ap test soon, so for the past few weeks, we've been constantly taking practice tests.
it pisses me off so much. the questions, the criteria, it's all bs.
we have questions like "what will reduce the digital divide?" with choices like "education for low income families on computers." like, I DONT FUCKING KNOW.
frankly, I DONT FUCKING CARE. giving electronics to people who cant afford it is great and all, BUT IT DOESNT INVOLVE ANYTHING ABOUT COMPUTING.
HEY, COLLEGE BOARD, KNOWING IF AN ALGORITHM IS TECHNICALLY AN "ABSTRACTION" DOESNT FUCKING MATTER. WHAT MATTERS IS THAT I CAN IDENTIFY WHATS MORE EFFICIENT, WHERE A BUG IS, CONCEPTS INVOLVED IN PROGRAMS, THINGS LIKE THAT.
NOT IF DNS IS SIMILAR IN STRUCTURE TO THE US POSTAL SYSTEM.
god i hope whoever wrote this gets hit in the head by a github server that was dropped from the 2^8th floor.2 -
First it was the "set up WampServer so the client can use our database", to which I told her we should use an embedded database, to which she told me to do.
Then the "Just give the client a .jar file and install the JRE in his laptop" to wich I told her we can make a native installer, to which she fucking assigned to me.
Then the whole fucked up management thing with no design whatsoever and the "we don't need version control".
To just a few hours earlier, when she got mad because I set up a Slack for us to exchange information easily, she told me she was already mad because I shared the project by Google Drive and that she worked in security and knows the risk... AND AT THE SAME TIME, she uses Gmail to share the project.. BRILLIANT !7 -
Long story short,
Fuck programmers who call them selves entrepreneurs (pronounced in French), I'm going to entre-preneur my dick in your fucking worthless calculator you piece of camel cum!!!5 -
PHP + gettext + Windows
Get fucked you ginganormous cockfaced dick wiggle. Get the fucking fucked in your fucking fuck hole. Fucker.2 -
I don't know if this is a problem only in Belgium or also in other countries but while I love Bluetooth for audio playback (headsets, speakers and everything) despite being extremely convoluted as a protocol.. FUCK Bluetooth keyboards.
Several of them I've tried. Several of them, from various brands. Pairing, setting the Belgian keyboard layout (which on that shitty Android 7.0 tablet that I want to use the fucking things with apparently has to be done *every fucking time you connect*, because reasons) all well. Except half the keys don't fucking map properly. A keymap, it doesn't get easier than that! How hard is it to make buttons map to the right keys!? They're literally fucking push buttons on a matrix! Seeing which points in the circuit make contact and sending that off to wherever it needs to go!
And to put the icing on the cake? USB keyboards with the same fucking layout settings work without any problems. So it's extremely likely that it's something in those shitty keyboards' controllers or Bluetooth going full rart on all of them.
Of course, Bluetooth being as convoluted as it is, manufacturers just copy each others' implementations of it if they can.. so there's that.
Can really nobody make a product halfway decent anymore before putting it on the market!?
Another one bites the dust.. JUNK!!! Every single goddamn one of them!1 -
My laptop battery is absolute rat-shit, it drains half of itself when I try to copy a large file...18
-
Yay, now I know what that windows update was about... oh no, this isn't another "fuck windows, update broke shit again" post.
This is a "wtf, you dodgey shit bags" kind of post, "you" managed to install Skype, install this stupid ducking "meet now" service - which is fucking hidden (anyone have any pointers? Google's not doing its job yet), and now I have to uninstall office completely to remove Skype 🤦♂️
Why won't you fuckers let it go, didn't we ALL move to teams recently?5 -
Here we go....
At our school we had different industry people come in and talk about whatever they want to.
My last presenation for the day is on 3D modelling in Game Design, and of course we have middle school kids being generally loud and obnoxious.
Some fuckers are being exceptionally obnoxious, and the teachers decided, in their infinite FUCKING wisdom, to stick them in front of a table where Juniors and Seniors are sitting, minding our own buisness.
Of course, the fuckers decided to continue being obnoxious and despite my request to keep it down, and another Senior's direct approach to tell them to shut up, they continue being disruptive.
At one point, a teacher, again using INFINITE FUCKING WISDOM, decided that instead of removing the fuckers from the room, put a Senior in between them, hoping that that would somehow keep them quiet. Yes, the fucking preschool level attempt didn't work.
Eventually a teacher concluded that the fuckers were pissing us off and removed them from the room. Thank fuck.
That feels much better, excuse me as I need to reinstall an OS on my desktop since the Universe seems to fucking hate me today. -
FUCK THESE FUCKING GPDR! FUCK THESE SITES! FUCK EVERY LITTLE COCKSUCKING BASTARD POPUP!
I click DISAGREE ON EVERY FUCKING POPUP! YET THESE BASTARDS SELL MY DATA LIKE EXOTIC BUTTERS! FUCK THEM ALL!6 -
Fuck fuck fuck fuck
I hate forgetting, I spend so much time learning and keep fucking forgetting, wasting time relearning. I hate it that’s stupid4 -
Why is fuck as a fucking word used so fucking often??? In like every other fucking rant on my fucking feed...6
-
"Can I have an app? It's a million dollar idea: you take a picture of yourself and it tells you if you're pregnant or just fat. I don't have any money at the moment but I'm willing to give you 5%, maybe less if my friend wants to join. plus, no ads, and make it a free app so it will be liked alot."
Can you shut the fuck up? do you have any idea what the fuck you're talking about? that's the most fucking ridiculous idea I've ever heard. how the hell would it even work?5 -
What the fuck, accessed it via hidden release page now, but why the fuck would I need to create a fucking account just to download it, fucking lunatics.
5 -
Don't you just love it when you come in late and the commit you made last night and were certain was going to work, doesn't work and everybody is pissed because of it? And all because your shell won't run since the line ending of your sh file was somehow Windows instead of UNIX.
Fucking love it ^_^1 -
Bought a s8 only to fucking hate it again. FUCKING Bixby i dont fucking need you. FUCK you Samsung. I want Google fucking Assistant you piece of shit.18
-
FUCK IOS PUSH NOTIFICATION THAT IS SO FUCKING UN-FUCKING-RELIA-FUCKING-BLE. YOU MAKE ME CRI AT WORK!5
-
Dear YouTube,
If you want me to fucking watch your fucking same ad every fucking 2 minutes, I will fucking fuck watch those fucking ads on my fucking TV.
Fed up. Moving to YouTube magisk ad-free module. Fuck off YouTube. Recently you became to greedy.
Fuck off.8 -
Mother fucking candy crush cunts fucking Microsoft FUCK OFF REPEATEDLY REINSTALLING THIS FUCKING SHIT!!! THREE FUCKING TIMES TODAY I HAVE 'UNINSTALLED' THEM. Yet somehow, they keep FUCKING COMING BACK. not updating, haven't even clicked ok to install them, WHY THE FUCK DO YOU FEEL THE NEED TO CONTROL MY PC MØRE THAN I DO! FUCK OFF!10
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It's not just the fucking money, it's my fucking time. U wanted Polymer but now React?!! Fuck me sideways!4
-
We are forced to work on weekends because the management and the project manager loves to kiss the ass of our clients. I was even scolded by working from home.
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK.
ITS NOT FUCKING FAIR THAT WE HAVE TO SUFFER AND SHOULDER THEIR INCOMPETENCE IN MANAGING THIS FUCKING PROJECT.
Damnit. God Damnit.5 -
I am pulling my hair out on ducking low level stuff. This is why people (more importantly me!) should have the chance to learn, rather than assume how things work.
Has anyone of you detailed resources on how linking objects into shared libraries really works ? Especially Name Resolution. All those ducking tutorials and bloody blog post just have simple examples and explain shit not in detail!
Even ducking man pages on gcc/ld don’t help me out! Maybe I’m too dumb to type the right words into me search engine. I’d even love to read a bloody paper book.16 -
Bloody Fucking Managers !!!!
Few Months Back...
Manager: Innovation we need Innovation.
Me: What's the process?
Manager: You give idea >we give you people > they do all the work !
Cool right ?
Present situation :
I have given them 5-7 ideas. I am programming for all of them. When I ask for help -- we will see... After the programming is done its working. I need make the documents etc. Everyone uses the tools. I get to be the sucker !1 -
I think the number 1 reason I hate PHP is not because the language itself is really really really bad; but because it's so easy to google "how to php" and get tons of tutorials (full of shit code) that most of the PHP programmers are bad and have no CS studies whatsoever, resulting in unmantainable tight-coupled pieces of [spaghetti] code that won't even encapsulate any business logic.
Anybody else feeling like changing to a different language a similar reason?5 -
Fuck my life!!! Fuck it right hard!!! My fucking compiler (the one I code) fucking broke down, and i have to put it to competition it two weeks... Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck: obviously Iost backup and gitHub doesnt seem like wanting to give me that version back... Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck duck!!!!5
-
FUCCCCKCKCKKC FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCKING CUNTFUCK BULLSHTI FUCKK!
I SWEAR TO GOD LINKING LIBRARIES IN C++ IS THE WORST FUCKIGN THING ON THE ENTIRE FUCKIGN PLANET.
sfjipomndgsm8h rteügj8jq9rtg11 -
If you ever want to know how NOT to create documentation, try installing Elastic Search for a server.
-
Situation:
Php not loading oci8 connector for oracle database in windows server, got the all famous and feated oci_connect unknown function error.
Solution:
Check to make sure that the stupid dll is in the extensions folder ---> check
Check to make sure that the extension_dir path is done properly inside php.ini ---> check
Ensure that extension=php_oci8_11g.dll is inside php.ini ---> check
I have no fucking clue why this piece of shit would stop working all out of the sudden and would not fucking work. But here i am yet AGAIN trying to fix something for the fucking web tech department because their fucking lead dev is out.
I
Fucking
HATE
Having to deal with php configurations. Such a fucking pain in the fucking ass man.
FUUUUCKING WOOOOOORK8 -
God fucking damnit, fuck React Native. Fucking shitpile of weirdass errors, dependency fuckups, fucking weirdass xcode errors.6
-
Father of a monkey-whoring, succulent dick ass fuck, ever heard of minding your own business? I don't care if you are the FUCKING CFO or whatever the fuck you are, don't fuck with the fucking code. Don't try to come up with your own cum-gargling explanation if an HTTP request results in a FUCKING 503.
You goat-fucking piece of cunt-shit of a fuck. FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!4 -
Started a new job on Monday. STILL DON'T HAVE ACCESS TO THE FUCKING SERVERS I NEED TO ANYTHING. Holy fucking shit I'm annoyed. Fuck you corporate bullshit. I already feel like quitting.3
-
I was just begged to play 30 minutes of monopoly with my family
With all those versions of monopoly I'll have to be more precice, it's the worst of them all
It's monopoly fucking zapped, you need an ios device to play it, it's been developed for the iPhone 4 and maybe a tablet because they didn't even update it for current phones, not even iPhone 5
The credit cards are a fucking joke, they work by touching certain parts of the touchscreen and don't work 85% of the time you try to use them, 5% of the time just choosing the wrong person
At least your relieved when 10% chance kicks in where it works for once
Instead they could developed for Android and used nfc tags making it reliable and fun, no it has to be shitty, cheap and frustrating
Like seriously, they could've also used qr codes instead, or just have fucking buttons on the screen because you need the fucking ios app anyway
The minigames are at least a bit of thought, but don't really make sense either
Money doesn't seem to matter, sometimes paying another player when it shouldve been pay to the bank (yeah, not only the credit cards are fucked, the whole money system is shit)
It's a fucking abomination of a game
Halfway through I searched for the company name on the board...
...
....
ITS FUCKING HASBRO, OF COURSE IT'S FUCKING HASBRO THAT FUCKING PEACE OF SHIT FUCKING COMPANY THAT DESERVES TO ROT IN HELL HAVING CREDIT CARDS STUFFED UP THEIR FUCKING ASSES7 -
When your boss decides to adjust the website you've spent 20hours+ on, fucks up several parts of it and then a) Doesn't tell you about it and b) Doesn't even attempt to fix it.
This is why I want to go freelance... And hate people...3 -
Fuck heroku, fuck precompiling assets, fuck the assets pipeline, fuck fuck fuck fucking piece of shit3
-
School's principle: *is being unclear of what is asked*
Me: *asks lots of questions to try to understand*
SP: *keeps being unclear*
Me: *think I understand, I'll do something that will match with what I'm supposed to do*
-- 2 days before due date --
SP: omg stop it's not that at all
Me: wait wtf you told me that 3 months ago
SP: yOu uNdersdtoOd wHat yOu WaNtEd, tHat'S a ProBlEm yOu rEaLLy nEed To fiX
HOW ABOUT YOU GO AND DIE SOMEWHERE YOU SON OF A BITCH
Now I have until monday to write 30 fucking pages of something that keeps making no fucking sense. FUCK !2 -
My manager gave me a project about integration & deployment to another internal product which involves consuming oauth credentials which were already available in AmazonS3. The worst part of this is I wont have any access to any AWS resources and no sandbox environment.
And I'm like. How the fuck should I do this? Should I just conceptualize and pray to the machine spirits and hope that this wont have any fucking issues? -
Weeks ago, a change went into production. For some reason, we can't implement our own changes or create new databases in production, we have to have a whole different department do it. This would be great except for one thing:
THEY CAN'T THINK FOR THEMSELVES. I've had to tell them how to run scripts I wrote. I've had to tell them how to fix problems that arise.
Back to that script ran three weeks ago or so. It didn't add permissions to allow me, the system and application developer to see the stored procedure, much less run it. Application can't run it. Thankfully the application works without it.
Fast forward to tonight. My change that I'm attempting to implement is the creation of the stored procedure, because nothing could see it, I assumed it didn't exist... reasonable, right? Database folks tells me it exists. They then tell me they can't give me nor the application permissions because it doesn't ask for it in the change plan.
Excuse me.... WHAT FUCKING WORLD DOES IT MAKE SENSE TO CREATE SOMETHING AND HIDE IT FROM THE CREATOR LET ALONE THE APPLICATION SO IT CAN'T USE IT?! FUCKING THINK. WHY WOULD I WASTE MY FUCKING TIME TO TALK TO YOU OFFSHORE PIECES OF SHIT AT 10PM WHEN I'D RATHER PLAY VIDEO GAMES.
I'm so fucking done with enterprises. Someone with reasonable job security at a startup, please hire me. You will probably pay me more fucking money than this company does anyway.
Now on to my second change of the night. Thankfully I don't have to rely on anyone outside of me... so I won't be wasting my fucking time. -
It is approximately 42 degrees C outside. And guess whose fucking compressor just went to shit? Mine. Fucking piece of shit. I absolutely fucking hate this shit. Finding the time to go to the shop is pointless when I can fix it myself, but IN the fucking event that the compressor is actually faulty and needs to be replaced then I would have to struggle to wait for the fucking part to get here. If my luck permits and this is an issue that is fixable through a simple relay change then fucking hooray.
But I know how fucking shitty my fucking luck is and its going to fuck me in the ass probably. I will troop through the heat, no problem, but I am the one that carries my 2 year old daughter everywhere and I am not about to put her through that bullshit.
So I call my wife and explain to her the situation, I don't need for her to do fucking anything, I can take care of it myself, but I tell her NOT to have me go out on random bullshit with the girl while the car is like that, I did it to make her understand beforehand because every day is an additional 1 and a half hours of driving around the city to take her do bullshit. I told her that in the event of me needing to go pick something up then it would have to be after the fucking sun goes out(which in this fucking bullshit ass town it happens after fucking 7 or 7:30pm) and she would have to stay home with the girl. What does she do? she gets upset. Of course she got fucking upset. Like if I need that fucking bs right now. OH and my fucking main Linux machine is apparently having battery issues.
OAN my manager gave me my performance review yesterday. The she made are outstanding and my score is perfect. The board is going to give a raise to everyone of us that got an high enough score so that got me in a good mood. I am holding on to that feeling before I lose my shit. Every single fucking time some bs puts me in this mood I am constantly wishing that a motherfucker would.
Fucking bullshit man. Can't have a FUCKING break anyfuckingwere.
This just in on an episode of Murphy's fucking law.4 -
FUCK! I've done this a fucking God fucking damn million fucking God fucking damn times fucking before! FUCK! FUUUUCK! FUUUUUUUUUCK!
The best part is that someone is going be paying me once it works............................... FUUUUU K!
2 -
Appreciate you clear vision, fucking devs. It sucks for us to be powerless without eyeglasses. Fuck this shit! Fuck it.4
-
Listen, i really understand you want to know how much a certain resource is downloaded/viewed and so on. But what gets on my nerves is to sign up my email address every fucking time i want to see your semi-tech-but-actually-selling-you-a-pile-of-sperm-fermented-shit whitepaper . yes i know there is something called disposable email adresses and such... But if stuff is 'free' as you say you have, then make it available free!
Every time i think 'hey, this is actually relevant to my interests, let me read up more on that...' i hit the fucking 'insert your email for a free download'
Fuck off! Put your fucking form in the pits of hell and seal it in a fucking fucking dome next to fucking research subject akira with 99 fucking layers of fucking nuclear blast proof wall domes! I dont want you to fucking send me your fucking spam mails about every ideafart your sales dept has fired becausz they were high on computer cleaner spray tubes and thought 'let's trick those stupid people into our marketing scheme', go and fucking jump into a barrel of highly concentrated radioactive waste!
The only thing you manage to do for me like that is to fucking close the tab i had a slight interest in and never look back again!
Am i the only one getting angry about this?2 -
FCUKING SHIT X-FUNCING-CODE! Collapsed code by mistakenly typing the shortcut now I cannot fucking EXPAND IT AGAIN T_T T_T T_T3
-
I installed sendgrid on my server today for the first time. Now I have several questions to you more experienced programmers.
1. Is there anything I should know about using sendgrid for server generated mails?
2. Can I still use my own configured Mail-Server (eg. for sending emails with Thunderbird?
3. How does sendgrid work?
4. Are there probably better alternatives? (I first wanted to use mailgun, but those fuckers want me to have a credit card for registration)2 -
Can people at least write a damn comment and tell me why the fuck they don't like the app???
Yesterday I released an update and noticed someone left a new review, without comments, just a one star review.
First I was worried because maybe the update has some nasty bug, but no, this stupid user rated the app without leaving a comment, GREAT!!!
Now google only shows that specific review because the others were of an old version, so great, now anybody wanting to install my app will only see this shit.
If you already took the time to open the play store specifically to rate the app, fucking say something!!! insult me, say it's a bunch of crap but say something you piece of shit!5 -
So was freelancing for a guy and I know him pretty well or so I thought. Turns out he is a corrupt prick who leaked one of his support staffs phone number to all the customers because she wasn't online for two days. What the fuck is wrong with some people.
-
Today something pretty bad happened (as always at school)
and I'm gonna rant about it to
1) get your expertly opinion on it
2) relieve from it
SOOOOO
today I entered class to paretake in the writing of the much anticipated class test (kappa).
The teacher gives everybody a sheet with the exercises - let alone me.
I tell him to give me a sheet too.
"Put a book between you and xy"
so I do. I ask him again to give me the exam paper. No response.
Again, and he looks at me with a disrespectful look. I look back. And get thrown out of the room - not getting a chance to paretake in the writing of the test yet getting the worst grade one could possibly get in the modest german education system (=> 6)
Now I'm going to pursue any possible legal action against him (I dont care about him. After the lesson I wanted to talk with him; yet he declined my offer for reconsiliation, then he called my parents, even though he had time to think about what he did {any sane person would agree that what he did was wrong <yet my classmates dont agree>}. Also, he is that type of teacher who gives unusually unnessecary homework - which I personally see as punition, since I already know 97% of the stuff thought in [english] classes)
See why I am despising school so much?
It drains my last bit of energy until I am an empty shell with the sole goal to finish education asap in order to be able to fucking work.
BTW: I tried using my best english in this rant to demonstrate my abilities in order for you to be able to see that I honestly dont those "basic" english lessons.8 -
Is it wrong to want to watch the world burn because some fuckwit decided to make a library that matches the path of another library almost exactly, that also has classes named the exact same fucking thing, but that are incompatible with each other was a great idea? Worse is that some dev at my place decided to mix and match them, and then didn'tcomment it's use or fucking why they did it.
-
fuck you office365, almost all fucking services. It is so fucking slow, takes ages to open 1 fucking email with only attachments. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK!!6
-
Does anyone else include greek letters in their JavaScript variable names just to fuck with co-workers?1
-
Fuck!
I have overwritten some files that make my WiFi-module work and I can't reinstall it, because that doesn't fucking work!! (Ethernet is also giving up on me😢)
NOW I HAVE TO FUCKING REINSTALL FUCKING UBUNTU, BUT MY LAPTOP WON'T BOOT FROM THE FUCKING USB!!!!4 -
Windows 10 insider preview had a critical bug like half a year ago where most browsers would freeze the PC. I've reported it multiple times but my feedback didnt get any attention. The bug made it to production months later...
Now, the story is repeating. I've discovered a bug. Everytime there's a software update for apps that with a built-in updater in the main .exe (JetBrains IDEs, VS etc.) the updater fails, program is corrupted and needs to be reinstalled. For instance, there's a minor bump in Android Studio version, if you try to use autoupdater it will corrupt your Android Studio and you'll have to reinstall.
Been trying to reach out to them but the only "real issues" that are highlighted are "no CPU temp in task manager" or "pls improve automatic problem resolving"
Why the fuck do you even have a feedback program if you're ignoring the people who are reaching out to you, you pieces of shit4 -
So my friend and I have been casually talking about developing some indie games. I, being the one who knows programming, tried convincing him to learn some code.
Me: Hey, did you read the books?
Him: What books?
Me internally: ‘ok, maybe he just used some of the online guides’
Me: How’s [code learning app]
Him: Oh! I downloaded that the other day!
Me: Oh cool! What’s your account name?
Him: oh, I downloaded it but never actually opened it
Me internally:’fuuuuuuuuu-‘
Me: Did you learn any programming?
Him: nope
Me: WELL THEN FUCKING LEARN IT!!!!!
We don’t really talk to much anymore.1 -
!rant; story(well, kinda)
I made it! Hell fucking fuck yeah! I made it, I made it, I made it! I passed all exams! See you in Prague, at ČVUT!(those who happen to study/live there or nearby)
life.setStatus("Winning!");2 -
After working for weeks writing sophisticated Scala code, and building à team of react devs working on this for months, these fuckers come to me with let's go the cms route. I would like to sincerely declare, fuck this company and I hope it crashes and burns. I know start-ups are constantly changing and iterating but this is straight up nonsense.8
-
You know what I hate? Git commit messages stating 'fixed tests' or 'fixed docs' or 'fixed integration problems'. You did not fix anything, fuckhead. You updated the code, introducing more bugs as usual. FIXED?! NO, UPDATED! That's what I hate.1
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>First day back at work.
>Boss tells me something is totally fucked up on an app we've been developing for the past 2 years
>see the bug, can't really understand why, but looks like it's a conversion issue (from string to float)
>realize that on some phones, the conversion of the number "9.1234" becomes "91234" and then after calculations, becomes "9123,4" which of course fucks everything up
>looking through it and realize that from the latest version on, unity convers string based on current culture
>still trying to figure out how to fucking specify that it must use english culture all over the place1 -
if (!rant) Fuck oranges
else
It's about time we make some God fucking damn things fucking God fucking clear. What the fuck does programming have to do with fucking non-programming?
Honestly. Fucking fucks pretending to be fucking programmers (probably not you, but fuck off if you're one of those fuckers.) FUCK SUCH PEOPLE FUCK YOU FUCK FUCK fuck FUCK!
There. Now that's out there. Leave fucking programming to the fucking fuckers who fucking know some-fucking-thing fucking ab-fucking-out it. If you're learning, ask questions, without you there'd be no fucking future for good fucking programmers. But if you're a fucking fuck fucking ducks in the fucking park--fuck the God fucking damn the fuck OFF!3 -
Fuck you GREEN CHEMISTRY!
Fuck you SULPHURIC ACID
Fuck you NITRIC ACID
Fuck you U.S. PRESIDENTIAL GREEN CHEMISTRY CHALLENGE AWARDS
Fuck you WATER PHASE CYCLE
Fuck you CARBON DIOXIDE
ahhh! finally its over...
shit FUCKING PHYSICS EXAM STILL LEFT !
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh5 -
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!!!
I fucking forgot to commit changes before pull, fuck! How do I get my files back.......plz9 -
STOP FUCKING ADDING MORE STUFF TO THE FREAKING TICKET, the stuff you're asking for me to do doesn't have anything to do with this TICKET, WHY DO YOU INSIST ON DOING THIS FUCKING SHIT!?
TL:DR Client asks for this: -------
Finishes the project with this: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- -
FUCK YOU mysql 8 and your fucking shit caching_sha2_password, could you at least update your fucking drivers to support it!6
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Note to anyone who is thinking about using Google Inbox:
Don't use that fucking stupid cuntbag of a tool for important email accounts. Even though it uses POP3 as Google states, it just permanently wiped all 2700 emails from the account via IMAP without any reason just after it was setup, so that even all the locally saved emails on all of our devices connected via IMAP were deleted. Go fuck yourself Google.5 -
http://ipkitten.blogspot.com/2018/...
HOW THE FUCK IS THIS LEGAL?! This isn't even their fucking research! So much of this was either done decades before they existed, or done by others. In the first place, since when can you patent fucking math?! Sure we haven't seen the full patents but they should focus on specific implementations if anything and the titles clearly do not reflect that.
So much for "don't be evil", fuck Google -
!Rant
Guys guys guys!!!!!!! And girls!!!
Not only did I recently obtain 2 certifications the past two or three weeks, but a company called me back to see if I was still interested in an internship that I applied for a month ago!! I sent her an updated resume and she's sending it to the IS (information systems) guy (only one for the branch in my city) and if he likes what he'll see they'll call me back 😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄.
I'm so stoked because I started this bullshit job at Dave and Buster's and it's not even really technical. I started like two weeks ago but I don't give a fuck, if I can find a better opportunity elsewhere, I'm taking it. Even if it's an internship.
Only thing is, if they want me to start as soon as possible then I'll want to, but wouldn't it be best to do a two week notice for D&D?2 -
FUCK YOU MyThemeShop FUCK YOU with your shitty licensing solution. I'm just trying to develop a fucking wordpress site on my own fucking local computer. Why TF will you not allow me to fucking sign into my own account. all it fucking does is infinitely load and it does not do fucking anything. you advertise 24/7 support but it takes your fucking bitch ass support team over 10 hours to reply to my dead fucking simple email. ALSO why the fuck can I not change what domain my theme goes to from the online panel. I'm trying to fucking use ngrok and now i cant because it is by domain and not by site. FUCK YOU AND YOUR LAME ASS FUCKING COMPANY GIVE ME MY FUCKING MONEY BACK RIGHT NOW YOU FUCKING BITCH.7
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You know it's bad when you've planned a word addon thats sole purpose is to do mail merges.
I've done guides and shown people how to do them. Still comes to me the bloke in IT to do a simple mail merge because googling it is too complex.
It's going to be epic it will hold their hands let them know they are bestest cupcake out of the whole batch.
The progress bar will be a rainbow and each button will sparkle. Because If I get taken of my dev work to do another fucking mail merge I'll probably quit on the spot.
And I do not have the savings readily available to hold me over until I got a new job.
Knob sockets the lot of em.1 -
fuck the overengineered bulshit that ZF2 is... fuck crappy mvc in web, fuck shitty design, tuck events, fuck 'security feature' that obfuscates the fucking redirect login/logout urls fuck not having your full link, but just the path everywhere, fuck whitelabeling, fuck somebody's sister, fuck me and fuck you....1
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FUCKING FUCK WINDOWS FUCKINGHANGS IN LOCK SCREEN AFTER WAKEUP FROM SLEEP FOR THE THIRD FUCKING TIME TODAY FUCK YOU WINDOWS. JUST CAN'T REBOOT EVERY FUCKING TIME3
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rentRant
Simply rent a high rated rant and feel awesome at least once in life (and get free swag). Don't miss this opportunity!
Only 13.37 a month! Order cow!3 -
Method passing as argument.
Fuck you who are doing that.
FUCK YOU !!!!
Use fucking STATIC !!!!!!!!11 -
Would love to be working on my game if the editor didn't crash every 5 fucking minutes... Really getting tired of Gamemaker studio 2's lack of actually support and stability on windows...4
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Updated Visual Studio and now my Xamarin app can't post the login and register credentials anymore. My server api is working, I tested with postman. Can't find any help online and I'm fucking done!
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Shit! Fuck!
Today I broke the quarantine to buy an HDMI splitter.
Turns out the secondary monitor I have is old as fuck so I can not extend the display, only duplicate 🤦🏼♂️
50€ to the garbage.
At least I bought a big ethernet cable to plug it on my PC and now I have 120mbps instead of the 2/3 I had on WiFi14 -
ArseHole, for simple CRUD, my client suggest to use WordPress. Then they added payment and booking system. I asked why still using WordPress????? It's nightmare to work three peoples on functions.php file.
Fuck off. Go fuck yourself. 😣7 -
Motherfucking piece of shit tensorflow, I fucking hate this piece of trash API fucking impossible to fucking use4
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TLDR: FUCKING AMAZON SCREWING SHIT UP
Alright here we go:
So I bought a SmartWatch on Amazon yesterday and I chose overnight delivery so it should have been delivered today. I was all excited and then I went to sleep. When I woke up I checked if they shipped my order and guess what... Amazon fucking told me to choose another payment option and I was only able to choose a credit card... I dont even fucking have a credit card and why the fuck didnt you tell me right away when I selected my usual payment method? A big FUCK YOU to Amazon. I bought the watch on ebay now and it will arrive on saturday and Im so mad about it...2 -
I don't want too often about window but this....
I'm just trying to set the language from German to Dutch. I have changed everything from Germans to Dutch in the idiotic Settings and in the proper Control Panel. Still German...
Okay. Let's delete German all together and reboot... Still fucking nothing. Wth?
Eventually downloaded the package manually. Running LPKSETUP gives me the option to install it and remove German.
WHY THE FUCK WAS GERMAN THE ONLY LANGUAGE THERE AND WHY WAS IT STILL THERE?!
I FUCKING REMOVED THE LANGUAGE IN ALL SETTINGS AND CONTROL PANEL.
MICROSOFT CAN GET FUCKED IN THE ASS WITH A CACTUS FOR MAKING IT NEAR IMPOSSIBLE TO CHANGE LANGUAGES.
I still think it's weird because I could change my own Windows from Dutch to English just by changing it in the stupid Settings app
(while typing this rant an error occured. Just error. Nothing more. So Dutch still isn't installed. Fucking fuck)4 -
ok i'm fucking serious right now. the dumb rocket was going to (now is) the most powerful robot in space. then they had to delay, for HIGH WINDS? what the FUCK? a rocket that can carry 130,000 lbs CANT handle HIGH WINDS. what the fucking fuck fuck fuck. seriously how the fuck fuck fuck. fuck.2
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import ssd.fast.*;
!rant
Sooo....
Some time ago I told you guys about my Laptop (9 Years old Acer Asphire) and how fucking awful slow it was with windows. So I installed Solus and it was fucking fast :D
But on Friday I installed Kali Linux with full Desktop, and there it goes, fucking slow again... So I got an SSD yesterday for it, installd Kali again and JAY I CAN MULTITASK AGAIN!
LOVING FUCKING SSDs IN OLD LAPTOPS I WILL USE THIS THING FOR LONGER NOW !!!1!4 -
Could somebody please help me understand why the fucking hell does JS (I am talking about node.js, so backend) use 32bit integers in setTimeout and setInterval? I mean, I understand most of the choices regarding the language (I have chosen programming languages design and principles for my studies) and I am happily using it for almost 4 years. But I came across an occasion that I had to use big numbers in those functions and it took me a lot of time to figure out why the fuck my code was not working as it was supposed to.
If anyone has a good reason please elaborate. In the meantime I'll go punch some shit to calm down.10 -
Hey fellow ranters. Please help me with some trouble in my code :(
http://stackoverflow.com/questions/...
I think i'm losing hope in me and in my future as a developer... This is actually a pretty easy thing but nothing it is not working... Please help me!!8 -
Wrote a perl script to spam group sms to my friends, in perl. Also - web scrapers.
Ugly AF stuff. never heard of strict, or warn when I did it.....
really fun times! -
will you just fucking upgrade to a version that supports wiredtiger or just FUCKING STOP OPERATION, STUPID FUCKTARDS. FUCK MLAB
1 -
When you enter a college club as a Tech recruit, but they send you for organising fucking events. 😡😡
I mean, are you Mr. Miyagi from fucking Karate Kid movie? -
For fucking 8 hours, I'm not able to get the text on a div that populates after a ajax on a SPA.... Fuck fuck fuck3
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Hey guys, i have problem with local security authority process (win 10) it is in system32 folder and it is called lsass.exe ... it is just burning my pricessor and i can not kill process, because it turns off my computer.. any solution? i am mad :(4
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!all device related
Oh boy here we lads!
Had a pretty shitty few weeks lately but the other day sort of got a bit much, first my phone's cameras started to fail and now that I've had the screen replaced, it's not covered under hardware guarantee warranties anymore, the sensors aren't working, work hours are getting cut, receiving near on 10 emails saying they are declining my resume, TAFE have no IT courses, uni is too expensive, the house I was going to buy got sold, my PC is fucking up, I've hurt my back (for the 10 millionth fucking time), none of my projects are coming together, haven't slept properly for weeks now...
Why does it always have to fucking poor when it rains, when can I just get a fucking glimpse at some sunlight on the horizon... -
MY OPENSUSE LEAP SUFFERS THE FUCKING BUG OF JAVA INETADDRESS LOCALHOST ADDRESS.
IT'S A FUCKING MACOS BUG
FUCK YOU OPENSUSE -
Nothing more fucking annoying, than when your trying to read an article on my phone and theirs a advert after every fucking paragraph! 😤5
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I hope anyone using Internet explorer gets fucking brain cancer and flesh eating bacteria ebola with a fucking immunity to all pain killers. JUST FUCKING DIE IN THE WORST AGONIZING PAIN IMAGINABLE9
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Sometime I feel, god forget to write proper toggle command for me.
For others it is random, for me it is static. One sad life. Only hope is system run out of memory because it is recursion with no ending.
here is the dev-rant
After fucking with Laravel Passport for 3 days, I finally manage to find a way to do multi auth.
Yeah! dude I am the guy who is going to write a tutorial for that. So, you must -- this rant.1
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