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Search - "alcoholic"
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Some empty-headed helpdesk girl skipped into our office yesterday afternoon, despite the big scary warning signs glued to the door.
"Hey, when I log in on my phone, the menu is looking weird"
"Uh... look at my beard"
"What"
"Just look at this beard!"
"Uh.... OK"
"Does this look like a perfectly groomed beard"
"Uh... it's pretty nice I guess"
"You don't have to lie"
She looks puzzled: "OK... maybe it could use a little trimming. Uh... a lot of trimming". "I still like it though" she adds, trying hard to be polite.
"I understand you just started working here. But the beard... the beard should make it clear. See the office opposite to this one?"
"Yeah"
"Perfectly groomed ginger beards. It's all stylish shawls and smiles and spinach smoothies. Those people are known as frontend developers, they care about pixels and menus. Now look at my beard. It is dark and wild, it has some gray stress hairs, and if you take a deep breath it smells like dust and cognac mixed with the tears caused by failed deploys. Nothing personal, but I don't give a fuck what a menu looks like on your phone."
She looked around, and noticed the other 2 tired looking guys with unshaven hobo chins. To her credit, she pointed at the woman in the corner: "What about her, she doesn't seem to have a beard"
Yulia, 1.9m long muscled database admin from Ukraine, lets out a heavy sigh. "I do not know you well enough yet to show you where I grow my unkempt graying hairs... . Now get lost divchyna."
Helpdesk girl leaves the scene.
Joanna, machine learning dev, walks in: "I saw a confused blonde lost in the hallway, did you give her the beard speech?"
"Yeah" -- couldn't hold back a giggle -- "haha now she'll come to you"
Joanna: "No I already took care of it"
"How?"
"She started about some stupid menu, so I just told her to smell my cup". Joanna, functional alcoholic, is holding her 4pm Irish coffee. "I think this living up to our stereotype tactic is working, because the girl laughed and nodded like she understood, and ran off to the design department"
Me: "I do miss shaving though"68 -
Story time!
So me, alcoholic I am, went to a local cafe because I didn't have enough booze anymore at home. Turns out that there were quite some people that wanted to get to know me!
And most importantly, there was another sysadmin (that likely saw through my funsies with some people there that I displayed termux' apt update and apt upgrade to as "evil hacking" 😜) that actually wasn't a bluff - he pretty much interviewed me on the spot and was apparently pretty impressed by my skillset. And so am I by his - he asked some pretty techy questions that only a fellow technologist could come up with. In a local cafe of all places!!! Who would've thought?!
I'll probably be going to that cafe some more 😋18 -
Insecure... My laptop disk is encrypted, but I'm using a fairly weak password. 🤔
Oh, you mean psychological.
Working at a startup in crisis time. Might lose my job if the company goes under.
I'm a Tech lead, Senior Backender, DB admin, Debugger, Solutions Architect, PR reviewer.
In practice, that means zero portfolio. Truth be told, I can sniff out issues with your code, but can't code features for shit. I really just don't have the patience to actually BUILD things.
I'm pretty much the town fool who angrily yells at managers for being dumb, rolls his eyes when he finds hacky code, then disappears into his cave to repair and refactor the mess other people made.
I totally suck at interviews, unless the interviewer really loves comparing Haskell's & Rust's type systems, or something equally useless.
I'm grumpy, hedonistic and brutally straight forward. Some coworkers call me "refreshing" and "direct but reasonable", others "barely tolerable" or even "fundamentally unlikable".
I'm not sure if they actually mean it, or are just messing with me, but by noon I'm either too deep into code, or too much under influence of cognac & LSD, wearing too little clothing, having interesting conversations WITH instead of AT the coffee machine, to still care about what other humans think.
There have been moments where I coded for 72 hours straight to fix a severe issue, and I would take a bullet to save this company from going under... But there have also been days where I called my boss a "A malicious tumor, slowly infecting all departments and draining the life out of the company with his cancerous ideas" — to his face.
I count myself lucky to still have a very well paying job, where many others are struggling to pay bills or have lost their income completely.
But I realize I'm really not that easy to work with... Over time, I've recruited a team of compatible psychopaths and misfits, from a Ukranian ex-military explosives expert & brilliant DB admin to a Nigerian crossfitting gay autist devops weeb, to a tiny alcoholic French machine learning fanatic, to the paranoid "how much keef is there in my beard" architecture lead who is convinced covid-19 is linked to the disappearance of MH370 and looks like he bathes in pig manure.
So... I would really hate to ever have to look for a new employer.
I would really hate to ever lose my protective human meat shield... I mean, my "team".
I feel like, despite having worked to get my Karma deep into the red by calling people all kinds of rude things, things are really quite sweet for me.
I'm fucking terrified that this peak could be temporary, that there's a giant ravine waiting for me, to remind me that life is a ruthless bitch and that all the good things were totally undeserved.
Ah well, might as well stay in character...
*taunts fate with a raised middlefinger*13 -
Monday morning, went to the local grocery store to get myself some croissants and 2 bottles of wine.
Cashier: "Already at it in the morning, you sure about that?"
Me: "Long story short, I've got a Wi-Fi driver from Intel to debug and rewrite, and it's a fucking piece of shit.. can't go at it without hitting or preferably exceeding the Ballmer Peak... Also I'm awake since yesterday evening already."
Why even ask? Yeah I'm a fucking alcoholic, and guess why that is.. stupid nontechnical fucks, certified enganeers like that motherfucker at Intel who wrote this pile of garbage called ipw2200, and technology that can't be arsed to work properly on its own unless I build the fucking thing myself, just to name a few reasons.
You know what, fucking piece of shit from Intel, whoever it is? How about I let you choke on my dick while fucking hanging you with a sharp metal wire that's carrying 2kVAC from a microwave transformer, just to see whether I'd nut first, or you either choke, get electrocuted, or get your fucking throat slit first. Certificates aren't an excuse for committing this fucking pile of shit and calling it a fucking product!!
Now, it's time to dive into this giant stinking fucking turd I guess.. first glass of wine to get myself prepared for the shitstorm that's a giant 20k LoC C file with barely any comments, to look what the fuck causes this fucking pile of shit to disconnect and ask for WPA credentials after a while, despite having them stored.. and not reconnect after that, because why the fuck would you?!10 -
I am programmer for over 1 year and still don't drink coffee and other alcoholic drinks to be energetic😅36
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Some people say that they've built something with blood, sweat and tears. They've clearly never built anything serious. If they did, they'd know that it costs that, an unholy amount of alcoholic beverages to account for the crippling depression caused by the inevitable failures, and a shitton of cursing. FUCK!!7
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!dev but still rant
So I'm a photocopier technician by day, alcoholic coder by night. Just spent 3 fucking hours trying to diagnose a black line on print outs, checked drums, dev units, toner cartridges, fusing unit, everything...
Called up one of the guys I work with and they said to come back with some samples to try and pin it down...
I turn around to leave and remember I didn't check the transfer belt and lo and behold it isn't cleaning and is smearing the paper...
3 fucking hours to work out such a simple error, I've had program breaking bugs diagnosed and fixed by then... ugh -.- -
The thing with meetings is that most don't know what a (formal) meeting is.
A meeting has a specific time frame, a defined agenda with specific topics and a moderator or an agreement on a common netiquette.
That's a meeting.
A meeting is not a place to put your willy on the desk and proof to everyone that your cock is thx to operation a long schlong who won't get hard, nor that you don't know how to shave, even less to measure the size of your genitals.
It's neither the time to eat and slurp like a fucking hobgoblin, nor to drink like an alcoholic who hasn't had a drop of alcohol in the last hour.
Parents, I don't care what your satanic offspring achieved today, nor how cute they are, even less what booboo they have.
Crybabies, keep your whining for after meeting time, maybe even stop crying and just have a nice talk outside of allocated time frames to discuss whom hurt whom the most and who has the most sand in his clit.
Get to the fucking point.
If I wanted to read a trilogy to understand what you contribute, I'd have written it on the agenda.
If it's not on the agenda, cram it in your butt cheeks for the next time you need to shit.
If you can't converse with people at all, the meeting is allocated at least 24 hours before it happens.
Prepare yourself for goddamn sake.
You could even read out a predefined text if you want, noone cares.11 -
An ex-colleague got accused stealing company property (soda) that he bought with his own money.
He had put his own soda near the other soda of the company (a different brand they never bought). He went home one day and took 1 bottle with him. During that time period, the company offered free drinks (non-alcoholic of course).
WHY WERE THEY EVEN WATCHING THE CAMERAS15 -
TLDR: Read the post.
Bare with me here, I am new to all of this jazz. But I wanted to tell a story.
I have been a programmer for a while now, working on various projects with various companies, doing various things. I know that sounds vague, but it's the truth.
I never work on the same thing, ever, I never work with any fancy IDE, because I don't need one. I personally believe no developer works with the massive huge code base all at once, but instead works on it in pieces. That's a story for another day.
I have seen the shittiest of the shittiest and some how survived, I have been beaten down by code bases that were out sourced yet some how managed to stand up and gain my baring and fight back. I have dealt with clients, bosses and idiots from A-Z. Watching them all scramble around for their pennies like greedy rich white men seeking more pennies to swim in.
Some how I survived all this. I started working from home almost 3 years ago, the freedom is exhilarating. The ability to fuck off for most of the day and work at night, or work all morning and fuck off. There's nothing better.
As you work from home you think, this will be amazing. Until the crippling loneliness takes over and even the 6th bottle of beer doesn't quench the thirst of human contact. The pain of being trapped in the four white walls of your office makes that bottle of tequila, to numb out the emptiness inside look more satisfying.
At some point, you crawl out of your space to find people to interact with, refusing to be beaten down by both shit code and loneliness only to find all your friends, family and significant others are working, in offices, where they cant just fuck off for a day with you. The silence of the house, the office, the what ever becomes deafening.
its crawling all over you like bugs that pick away at your mind, breaking you, hating you. So you decide that a coffee shop is the best place, only to sit there and people watch or check Facebook or what ever else people do at coffee shops that isn't actually work.
The point in all of this, is that working from home is both a positive and a negative. It has destroyed me, created a workaholic and, probably, an alcoholic. There isnt a day I dont wish that I could sleep away the deafening silence of the world around me as every one busies off to the office.
One might think: get an office job, but I have become accustomed to my misery, pain and suffering of working from home, isolated and medicated by vaping and alcohol. the freedom, from what I have found, is worth more then the sacrifice of it - to work around people I slowly begin to hate, people that make me want to overdose on anything rather then see their smug faces and be beaten down by their idiotic words, code bases and money grubbing hands...
I guess I'll get back to work now, in my house, with my cats, my vape and my beer. Here's to freedom and the sacrifices that go along with it.5 -
The only thing more dangerous than an alcoholic short-term-memory-challenged non-technical throw-you-under-the-bus IT director with self-esteem issues that are sporadically punctuated by delusions of superiority is one who fears for his job. Submitted for your inspection: a besotted mass of near-human brain function who not only has a 50 person IT department to run, but has also been questioned by the business owners as to what he actually does. So he has decided to show them. He has purchased a vendor product to replace a core in-house developed application used to facilitate creating the product the business sells. The purchased software only covers about 40 percent of the in-house application's functionality, so he is contracting with the vendor to perform custom development on the purchased product (at a cost likely to be just shy of six-figures) so that about 90 percent of existing functionality will be covered. He has asked one of his developers (me) to scale down the existing software to cover the functionality gaps the purchased software creates. There is no deployment plan that will allow the business to transition from the current software to the new vendor-supplied one without significantly hurting the ability of the business to function. When anyone raises this issue he dismisses it with sage musings such as, "I know it will be painful, but we'll just have to give the users really good support." Because he has no idea what any of his staff actually does, he is expecting one of his developers (again, unfortunately, me) to work with the vendor so that the Frankensoftware will perform as effectively as the current software (essentially as a project manager since there will be no in-house coding involved). Lastly, he refuses to assign someone to be responsible for the software: taking care of maintenance, configuration, and issue resolutions after it has been rolled out. When I pointedly tell him I will not be doing that (because this is purchased software and I am not a system admin or desktop engineer) he tells me, "Let me think about this." The worst part is that this is only one of four software replacement initiatives he is injecting himself into so he can prove his worth to the business owners. And by doing so he is systematically making every software development initiative akin to living in Dante's Eighth Circle. I am at the point where I want to burn my eye out with a hot poker, pour salt into the wound, and howl to the heavens in unbearable agony for a month, so when these projects come to fruition, and I am suffering the wrath of the business owners, I can look back on that moment I lost my eye and think "good times."4
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I'm going on vacation next week, and all I need to do before then is finish up my three tickets. Two of them are done save a code review comment that amounts to combining two migrations -- 30 seconds of work. The other amounts to some research, then including some new images and passing it off to QA.
I finish the migrations, and run the fast migration script -- should take 10 minutes. I come back half an hour later, and it's sitting there, frozen. Whatever; I'll kill it and start it again. Failure: database doesn't exist. whatever, `mysql` `create database misery;` rerun. Frozen. FINE. I'll do the proper, longer script. Recreate the db, run the script.... STILL GODDAMN FREEZING.
WHATEVER.
Research time.
I switch branches, follow the code, and look for any reference to the images, asset directory, anything. There are none. I analyze the data we're sending to the third party (Apple); no references there either, yet they appear on-device. I scour the code for references for hours; none except for one ref in google-specific code. I grep every file in the entire codebase for any reference (another half hour) and find only that one ref. I give up. It works, somehow, and the how doesn't matter. I can just replace the images and all should be well. If it isn't, it will be super obvious during QA.
So... I'll just bug product for the new images, add them, and push. No need to run specs if all that's changed is some assets. I ask the lead product goon, and .... Slack shits the bed. The outage lasts for two hours and change.
Meanwhile, I'm still trying to run db migrations. shit keeps hanging.
Slack eventually comes back, and ... Mr. Product is long gone. fine, it's late, and I can't blame him for leaving for the night. I'll just do it tomorrow.
I make a drink. and another.
hard horchata is amazing. Sheelin white chocolate is amazing. Rum and Kahlua and milk is kind of amazing too. I'm on an alcoholic milk kick; sue me.
I randomly decide to switch branches and start the migration script again, because why not? I'm not doing anything else anyway. and while I'm at it, I randomly Slack again.
Hey, Product dude messaged me. He's totally confused as to what i want, and says "All I created was {exact thing i fucking asked for}". sfjaskfj. He asks for the current images so he can "noodle" on it and ofc realize that they're the same fucking things, and that all he needs to provide is the new "hero" banner. Just like I asked him for. whatever. I comply and send him the archive. he's offline for the night, and won't have the images "compiled" until tomorrow anyway. Back to drinking.
But before then, what about that migration I started? I check on it. it's fucking frozen. Because of course it fucking is.
I HAD FIFTEEN MINUTES OF FUCKING WORK TODAY, AND I WOULD BE DONE FOR NEARLY THREE FUCKING WEEKS.
UGH!6 -
Alcoholic Programmer
Last year, I had an inevitable programming session while I was drunk. I didn't struggle at all. I programmed like composing a poem. Btw I have been programming for last 18 years and never enjoyed this much after college programming labs.
Since then I've been drinking before complicated logics and never disappointed.
Tl;dr. Programming is fun, but programming is unparalleled when drunk.4 -
God fucking damnit automating a client's "Job applicant form" system is the most boring shit l've ever done.
Get me some damn monkeys to do this
"Oh OK so I just have to take this form and turn it into HTML. Oh shit, 25 check box's, let's just copy paste this shit in over and over. Oh damn, forgot I have to change the name and value fields for each one. God damnit this is boring, I guess I have to"
Fucking hell it's annoying work, Boring, easy, no thought needed. Ended up turning this task into a drinking game. Every time the word "Management" came up, I took a shot. Got me pretty fucked up.
Client emails back; "Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, we have these 3 other forms we want you to automate".
Well fuck at this point I feel like more of an alcoholic than a developer.5 -
-" hey Linux, webdeveloper from ****** is on the phone and he is having some trouble"
; "aight send him over"
;" Linux speaking"
+" Hi its ***** from *****, my site wont work"
I ask him about more details and the the name of the sites, I quickly realize something...
;" Uhm, it seems like that you have not uploaded any files yes?
+" no I have not, I just wanted to test if the site on your hosting that I just bought Works as I was promised by the salesman"
;" FML"3 -
"Turning away bad clients can leave you feeling oddly guilty. They’re sort of like alcoholic or meth head cousins who force you, by their own bad behavior into denying them things you wouldn’t deny other people. You’re left feeling not quite yourself." - Carolyn Wood
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i had a 2-day, sat & sun, coding contest on codingame, but after coding for 24h my mother called me and said that her brother (and my uncle) died from alcoholic addiction
i did not commit my solution on that contest and now, for already five years, i'm afraid of participating in any similar contests2 -
My friends do it for me, so does my wife.
It helps that my coworkers are my friends and they are devs, so there is that.
Other than that my phone would usually rang during the weekend nonstop with shit to do. I normally tend to stick to being at home with my wife and child.
My city is strange in that everyone and their mothers parties every weekend and people are usually friendly enough to involve everyone with anyone during the weekends. I like and dislike that (loud shit annoys me)
My dear boss is a weekend alcoholic, so there are null chances of making us go to work and if they do they let us chill during the work week.
Not only that, but the entire IT dpmnt is really friendly towards one another. We are one big happy family(we never fight with one another, not even the sys admins/network dudes.1 -
Lua users, have you used moonscript?
It's a little language that has it's own interpreter or can be compiled down to Lua and it's absolutely lovely (currently using it with Love2d).
Of course, as with most things, what I love about it also royally pisses me off sometimes.
For starters local has to be declared for variables, unlike lua.
Otherwise the variable goes to _
Also note, that some tutorials literally tell you the opposite.
all variables are local by default
unless you don't declare them
then they go to _ (throwaway)
Some tutorials get this wrong too.
all variables have to be declared local
except tables. failure to declare a table WITHOUT a local will cause things like
table.insert to fail with "nil" values for no god damn reason.
No tutorial I could find mentioned this.
Did you know we call methods with '\'?
By the way, we call methods with '\'.
Why? Who the fuck knows.
Does make writing web routes more natural though.
Variables in the parameters of new are declared and bound for you. Would have loved to know this before hand instead of trying
to bind to them like a fucking idiot.
Fat arrows are used to pass in self for methods.
Unless you're calling a method. Then you use backwards slash. This fact is unhelpful when you're a beginner and dealing with the differences between the *other* arrow, the backslash, the fat arrow, and the fact that functions can be called with or WITHOUT parenthesis.
And on that note..
While learning all this other shit, don't forget parenthesis are optional!
Except when they're not!
..Like when you have a function call among your arguments and have to disambiguate which args belong to the outer call and to the inner call! Why not just be fucking consistent?
But on the plus size, ":" is now used for what it should have been used for in the fucking beginning: binding values to keys.
And on the downside, it's in a language thats built on top of another language that uses it for fucking *method calls*, a completely
different fucking usage.
And better still, to add to that brainfuckery thats lost in the mental translational noise like static on a fucking dialup modem, you define methods with the fat arrow. Wait, was that the single arrow or fat one? Yeah the fat one. Fuck. But not before you do THIS shit..
someShit: =>
yeah, you STILL include the god damn colon just so when you're coming from lua you can do a mental double take. "Why am I passing self twice? Oh right, because fuck me, I decided to use moonscript." It's consistent on that front but it also pisses me off.
A lot of these are actually quality of life improvements disguised as gotchas, but when you're two beers in to a 30 minute headscratcher it sure doesn't fucking feel like it.
Nevertheless, once I moved beyond the gotchas, it was like night and day. Sure moonscripts takes a giant steaming dump all over the lua output, like a schizophrenic alcoholic athena from the head of zeus, but god damn, when it works it just WORKS.
Locals that act like locals? Check.
Sane OOP? Check.
Classes, constructors, easy access to class methods, iterators? Check, check, check, check, check.
I fucking hate ceremony. Configuration over convention is for cunts. And moonscript goes a long ways toward making lua less cunty.
If you've ever felt this way while using lua, please, give moonscript a try.
You'll regret it, but in a good way!6 -
After walking 15-20 kilometres every day in 36 degrees Celsius (feel is like 42) for the past 5 days, I think a Japanese alcoholic drink and a bath is well deserved...7
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Go out from home.
Get up early.
Don’t get depressed.
Don’t become alcoholic or junkie.
Retire from paid / commission programming as soon as possible.7 -
Me: woo going to a massive LAN party, going to start hammering out some development, writing and gaming!
Friends: there's a pub just around the corner!
Me: *breathing intensifies*
I swear I'm not an alcoholic from all my rants containing grog or being induced by it but I swear it pops up every time I'm pumpedabout doing some coding...1 -
!dev
I like trying the local pißwasser of choice when traveling around. Sometimes it's bad (Baltika, fe). Working out of Glasgow atm, so it's irnbrü, kind of tastes like bubblegum. What's everyones' local drink du jour (alcoholic or otherwise)?31 -
I'm an alcoholic and a programmer. I don't drink when I'm programming so that I can focus. Programming is therefore good for my health.4
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Working for early-stage startup is like living with alcoholic father. Fuck lean startup mantra! Fuck any kind of bullshit about agility and business sustainability.8
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I've been drunk quite a lot lately, yet i'm not tryna forget or quit anything. Am i getting alcoholic ? This create a lot of bad situation going around my life, sleep deprivation, health problem, etc..
Am i thinking my work and my company to seriously? Last time i work too hard, i got hospitalized for exhaustion. My brain can't stop thinking, always getting left and right, here and there. Am i getting crazy?13 -
No proper normalization and database structure practices seems to continue to be the bane of my fucking existence at work.
One would think that it would be the quirks carried through by the language stacks in question, those are fucking absolutely ridiculously horrible by the way, y'all think you've seen bad Javascript and PHP? these would make you cry, laugh, wonder in amazement and then fucking pity me and eventually buy me a beer NO JOKE.
Y'all think you have seen some obscenely unoptimized SQL code? think of the worst fucking possible output from the shitty-est most error prone boundary checking inefficient ORM out there and multiply it by 10k. Then refer to my other point, and do the same thing for me which culminates in alcoholic consumption.
Worst thing? the developer that wrote most of this is a college level TEACHER rn....i've met the smug piece of shit, he acted severely condescending to everyone around him and I just smiled because I know how much of a piece of shit he is.
The other dude in question (it was two of them that I am talking about) left for another city and currently holds a senior developer position....i-fucking-magine that.
Fuck I hate these mfkers and I really wish they gave me a chance to fucking blow up on them.2 -
How many standard drinks (or alcohol) is 4 CL of gin?
In most countries, a standard drink or alcoholic beverage is commonly defined as containing approximately 14 grams (0.6 ounces) of pure alcohol. This amount of alcohol is found in various quantities of different types of alcoholic beverages.
A typical shot of distilled spirits, like gin, is often around 1.5 ounces (44.3 ml), which is roughly 4 centiliters (CL). If we assume that the gin has an alcohol content of around 40% (80 proof), then the pure alcohol content in 4 CL of gin would be:
4 CL * 0.4 (alcohol content) = 1.6 CL of pure alcohol.
To convert this to standard drinks, which are typically based on 14 grams of pure alcohol, you would divide the amount of pure alcohol by the amount of alcohol in a standard drink:
1.6 CL / 14 grams = ~0.11 standard drinks.
So, approximately 4 CL of gin would contain about 0.11 standard drinks worth of alcohol. Keep in mind that alcohol content can vary between different brands and types of gin, so this is a rough estimate. It's always a good idea to refer to the label on the bottle for more accurate information.
Thanks, Chat GPT, i'm going to go ahead and drink 10 of these gin sodas and i'll only have had one standard drink!!!!
😂😂😂🤡🤡🤡
Happy friday ya'll4 -
lets see...
would i like the glenfidditch 12 year for 45 EUR?
or the laphroaig 10 year for 50 EUR?
😂
seems like a no-brainer to me (and trust me, i have NO brain)
inb4 fullstackcircus is an alcoholic, we already know that
go hang out with the OTHER hacktoberfest participants and tell me something i don't know10 -
I want a little study that correlates as much as possible programming languages with alcoholic beverages their coders consume mainly, and how alcoholic are they too on average.2
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Sometimes I think computers and the work conspire to make me an alcoholic. Trying to rush the release and thanks to piled up technical debt it's taking ages. And as it is taking ages, other work is piling up so I would have to rush to something else without cleaning it up and will be swearing again next time. That gives me headache. And to cure it I need to drink. And drinking gives me different kind of headache. All those stupid endless circles are ruining my life!1
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Any other programmers smoke a bunch of weed or does that make me a brogrammer. If it makes u feel better one alcoholic drink leaves me with a hangover1
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Let's be honest - given the state of the world today, the more I listen to Megadeth, the more I relate to what Dave Mustaine has been pissed off about for a few decades now. Oh, you don't know who Dave Mustain is? He was, like, the 5th guy in Metallica. Rather, he was the bass player until he got fucked over because he was a dick and thrown off the first album Metallica did. Don't worry - he did OK. He formed Megadeth and still had quite a successful musical career. Why am I ranting about him? Simple - A lot of his lyrics are darker than Metallica's. I honestly don't know what the fuck I'm doing with my software/personal/professional life right now. I've got ideas & dreams, but all this COVID shit is just draining the fuck out of me. Sometimes I feel like I've failed - most of the lifeforms on this planet manage to procreate. Well, that didn't happen for me. On the down side, I didn't get to be a father. On the up side, I didn't punish the life of a child with my own brands of mistakes, ignorance, and stupidity. My life is littered with male failures. My biological father (paranoid, schizophrenic ) died at 58, doing everyone around him a favor. My grandfather on my mother's side died of colon cancer at 69 (so-called reformed alcoholic, manic depressive on lithium with great abusive tendencies). My step father who adopted me? Sure - he loved me. He just never understood me. "Computers are just a tool". Fuck you, 'dad'. Go play with your horses and tell me what I'm doing isn't meaningful. Where was I? Oh yes, almost killing myself last summer. I think between COVID and my own colossal screw ups & paranoia I went over the entire fucking edge. I pulled myself out of it with the help of medication, counseling, and learning to just let shit blow up because "it's not my problem". I'm still angry. Perhaps that's the only thing that keeps me going from time to time. I'll leave you with a quote from Ghandi - No, not that idealistic, limited one, Mahatma Ghandi. From his grandson, who managed to really pick up what he was putting down - Arun Ghandi:
“Use your anger for good. Anger to people is like gas to the automobile - it fuels you to move forward and get to a better place. Without it, we would not be motivated to rise to a challenge. It is an energy that compels us to define what is just and unjust.” -
🍷 Wine Q:
No, not about the drink, you alcoholic! About the Wine Is Not an Emulator.
When I run a full screen app (a game) on my MacBook with an external monitor, how can I run the game on that monitor? It starts full screen on my MacBook's screen and can't be moved to the other screen. Well, I can move the 'window' (it's borderless) to the other desktop, but it immediately minimises to the dock. Opening the app again moves the window back to the first screen.
So in other words: how do I properly do display management in Wine?1 -
alright listen
ive had enough of life
ive been through a lot
if the project i am working on right now does not work out as planned
i am going to jump off a bridge near where i live
i promise.
don't care what other people will think and how they will feel. no one will be harmed but myself. it is all my fault and i will take the whole blame.
because of college i fucked up my first of all mental health. then my physical health. now i am turning into alcoholic. it is also making me aggressive. i lost all my nerves from stress. i am losing all my patience. it is killing all the high threshold of discipline that i had. i dont like where this is going.
but that is fine. at least i know what i am not born for in this life.
if the only thing left that i like to do does not work out, there is no reason to stay alive.
let 2019 decide the future.13 -
If you:
- Can’t entertain a thought without accepting it,
- Can’t say “I’m scared” aloud when you’re scared,
- Can’t say “Yep, I was wrong” when you’re wrong,
- Had more than three alcoholic beverages since Jan 1st 2024,
- Are addicted to weed,
don’t talk to me.13