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I came from a village, we have animals (like a farm), pigs, chicken, sometimes duck and goose. One day I had to work from home, bc had to come back to parents house. Our daily skype meeting was like this:
* discussing very important IT stuff *
* grandma rushes into my room *
me: sorry, but i have a meeting
grandma: i just wan...
me: but i cannot right no...
grandma: just wanted to know if...
me: grandma, I cannot right now, we have a skyp... im talking with colleagues, on the computer
grandma: * quiet voice * okay, i dont want to interrupt, I just want to know - Did you ordered the ducks?
* what I hear in headphones: collegues and boss LOLd sooo hard *
me: ffs, what ducks?
grandma: did your father not give you the guys number?
me: * starting to sweat * what guy? no he didnt, i have no idea what youre talking about
grandma: * disappointed * then who gonna order them...?
me: ...
grandma: * standing next to me, she hears the laughter * whats that?
since then, if im working from home every skype meeting starts with "Tommy, is your grandma there? HAHA!"7 -
friend: how do you create a game?
me: *laughing* slow down, first of all try to learn to code, then...
friend: cut the bullshit! your the IT guy, tell me, how you simply create a for e.x. Call of Duty?6 -
2days into changes in our team, so now I'm the only developer
client: so can you give me contact of another person while you're on vacation?
me: well, unfortunately I'm the only developer...
client: (ರ_ರ)
me: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯3 -
fb messenger stopped working after the update, it just shows a white screen... it made me realise i don't even care, family and friends contact me there but ... Dobby is a free elf now4
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you guys complaining about doing PHP and WP because you needed money sounds like confessing about doing porn in college
"Sorry mom, but I really needed the money ..."1 -
this happens way too often in our company
PM: did you made that change I requested?
me: yeah, its on the live server now, why?
PM: I cant see it...
me: *wtf, I specially forced the JS to reload to eliminate problems with cache* could you send me a screenshot?
PM: *sends screenshot*
me: I dont get it... I can see the changes in my browser *dev feeling intensifies* ... refresh the site and try again
PM: oh... suddenly its there, ...anyway, thanks! it looks great!
me: *facepalm*
turns out our managers just dont refresh websites, they want changes to take place immediately3 -
Using Ubuntu for the first time on my new XPS-13 Dev. Ed.
I'm loving the OS but it sure is frustrating. Can't even get Spotify to download -.-
27 -
Finished learning the basics of HTML. Now to move onto CSS! Really enjoy learning Web Development despite it only being the basics.10
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it can be the most interesting article in the world, but if you ask me to confirm cookies, to enable notifications and to disable my adblock or subscribe to your aWeSoMe newsletter at the same time I'm not interested in spending any more time on your site
oh and also, FUCK YOU, return your degree, resign and FUCK OFF1 -
Linux Mint ladies and gentlemen
I will dedicate a separate rant for choosing an OS for my new laptop, as I was heavily disappointed in some OS-es
17 -
We have 2 layers of testing environments and production.
I tested the changes on the 1st layer, bud since it was 5min to lunch i did not test on 2nd layer which is connected to the production DB. I pushed to production and caused 5+ websites to go full retard and went to lunch.
Came back to 19emails and 3+ skype msgs about "why the fck would you do that..."
Estimated damages nearly 20k EUR and i lost some permissions for two weeks, but my great boss helped me out and cheered me up by telling stories how he took down multiple servers too
plot twist: im the team leader of our office now :)5 -
I just started to use
"titties" for success message
and
"no titties" for error message
... I need friends... and titties obviously4 -
i was so excited about devRant, that i tell all my coworkers about it and now if i dont reply to emails they make fun of me "put it on devRant he will find it there"1
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kinda coding i guess, company specialising in making statistics for other companies, analytic stuff or such, wanted stack: php, mysql
Interviewer: so here is our tech guy, who will be your boss if... so he would like to ask a few questions
techGuy: how would you ask for all the rows in a table? * looks at me *
Interviewer: * looks at me too *
me (learning inner, outer, left, right joins and transactions yesterday): * am i a joke to you? *
also me: * they must be making fun of me or something * well the query should be SELECT * FROM tableName; but one should really not use that, as * in theory really slows things down, because it loads unnecessary meta data bla bla
they: * look at each other * You're really good young man! Yes of course we know that, haha!
Interviewer: You said you just finished Uni, you doesn't seem like a junior to me! good job!
techGuy: so how would you LIMIT your results to 100 rows?
me: sigh * looks at door without turning head, so they wont notice *4 -
family: oh cmon, how hard it can be
me: what do you mean
family: youre just sitting in front of that pc all day
me: yeah, thats how we ...
family: youre not working! youre sitting in one place the whole day2 -
I heard the best joke lately!
What do vegans, crossfitters and linux users have in common?
oh wait, wrong forum...6 -
Var X1 = "" ;
Var X2 = "" ;
Var A = "" ;
Var A2 = 1;
...why. Just why ever name variables like that.1 -
story which happened yesterday and ended in mixed emotions
big changes in our company were announced, non tech employees changed positions, new business plan, people changing teams, shattering my plans of relocation back to my home country on the end of this year... told my manager I'm not happy, scheduled a call with manager on the highest position I'm in contact with
the call BB - big boss
BB: things are changing, it was decided like this, must be like this, can't do anything with it, other manager bla bla
ME: yes, but you knew I wanted to relocate, now my only option of relocating is to leave the company
BB: well, yes, thats unfortunate, but we would like you to stay, manager bla bla about growth, good work environment
ME: yes, but you're leaving me in this team as a only developer with people who not just don't have any tech background, they don't have a clue about dev stuff, like... at all * me = very not happy *
BB: but you know all our systems and work processes which will stay in place and you can teach new people, we need you * stopped, because probably realised what he said *
ME: * arrogant little laugh * well, i mean, I think i can live with it, but really wanted to talk about this, so you guys know I don't agree with what is happening here
BB: * sigh * ok, well.. yes, I mean, we were counting on this, we can give you a raise, but not much, maybe x%
ME: x% sounds good, I guess I can learn to live with this situation for a while
* everybody laughs *8 -
when you start a project with "im gonna do this MVC thing correctly this time" then after a few days, weeks you realise everything is a controller
am i the only one?3 -
TL;DR: TIL for heavy queries use PDO and not some frameworks DB class
ffs I was trying to save 300k+ lines at once with Laravel for weeks. Mind you from a text file. 1gb ram on the vps so while trying to prepare the text to save: Fatal Error: Allowed Memory Size of bla bla Bytes Exhausted
ok so lets put it in a loop: Fatal error: Maximum execution time of 30 seconds exceeded (set_time_limit(0); lol)
optimising, varying the code got me into a situation when the content got saved in the BD but inconsistent (duplicates) and the table had often more than 1,5M rows. That was what told me its not a performance issue, my code is the issue. (dah)
I was starting to think it would be easier to export a prepared query to a sql file and load the file into the db as thats the fastest possible option...I even started to think about switching to python, then it hit me, Laravel has a shitload of routes to the DB so I switched to PDO
benchmark on 1vCPU, 1GB RAM VPS with SSD
379k lines with 11 columns in less than 10 sec with a loop of saving every ~6000 rows (if i tried choking it to save the whole thing at once it went up to 16-17sec)2 -
so the PHP Standards Recommendations part two (PSR-2) says
"Code MUST use 4 spaces for indenting, not tabs."
and i feel devastated1 -
Ouuu today I experienced how web-devs must feel...
Task: create a form to answer questions with yes/no and a database behind it to collect stats.
So login to phpmyadmin
1. Wrong password got error message
2. No error message, still at login screen, but in address I see a token
3. There must be something wrong
4. Reinstalled phpmyadmin and mysql-server several times, wasted one hour on it - still stuck at login screen
5. Tried different browser and it fucking works!
6. Realized that cleaning cache fixed it...1 -
I feel like front end guys and gals are basically the folks that make the back end guys and gals look good for the boss. Not in a straight dev shop, but when your boss thinks html is a programming language...3
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when you're in /etc/apache2/sites-available, you want to set up a second domain so you duplicate the config but you type mv instead of cp and discover it after you set up the 'second' domain
fuuuuuuuck1 -
could'nt build my react app, didn't understand the error Module not found: Error: Can't resolve '.... app.css'
worked on my macbook, didn't on my ubuntu server, took me 3 days until I realised the css file is named App.css and not app.css
wtf apple, wtf me -
so when someone in the office finds a funny design or absurd code on our sites we play a game we named roulette: we check the versioning system and find who did it... there is no price in this game, that shame is enough :)3
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I was talking with my mom on messenger and right after the moment I told her to stop believing in advertisement and not clicking on everything on the net... I saw a job ad on Instagram
"*cool company from my home country* front end developer for 3000 - 5000euro/month based on experience"
(which is a pretty good salary there, the avg is around 900euro/month)
me: *clicks*1 -
tl;dr never heard about rubber duck debugging before devrant
i didnt worked with Yii fw in the past but we bouth a site written in Yii and i wanted to add a form but could not pass the model to the view so i went for a smoke with my roommate to think about it
"i have the view, i have the model, the action but dont know how to pass the model variable because its an existing view..."
"...it should be passed to the render function in the existing index action but thats written somewhere else, so if i could pass it there..."
"...i can write the action there and then i should pass the variable to the render function in the index action and goddamit, so thats how you do it, thanks mate!"
he stared at me like wtf? o.O
room mate debugging ftw!1 -
guess who is working on a 10+ GB hg repository using sourcetree on a macbook air
hint: I DO
pull, update lasts so long, there are new changesets to pull (hours, i kid you not)1 -
My coworker cannot log in to his company email account. So I contacted the guys in charge of this by email, asking if they could help and asked whats the process now or how does this work. I assume if his email is not working, they cannot send him a password reset link.
their answer: yeah, sure, we reseted the password of the mentioned user, here is his new password5 -
- never push to prod on friday or before lunch time
- doublecheck fucking everything
- test your code before and also after you push it
- you remember yesterday your colleague/boss/pm told you his part will be done by now? well guess what, its not! it never will be... -
ffs our senior dev is on a two week vacation... 4th day and my outlook already looks like fucking mordor4
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i'm living in a different country because of work, parents ranting in phone "the PC is slow" well fuck, that hdd was old when i built that PC so i wanted to change the hdd for my ssd anyway
Goes home for a little time period.. no time to order things. Turns out, hdd meanwhile died on them... well what a good thing i have this ssd in my old notebook, so its not a problem.
*turns on old notebook with 4 yo ssd* ...its dead too.
wtf, i'm so mad right now4 -
tl;dr
You know that feeling when you have your headphones on and somebody is talking to you and then your stomach starts to hurt, because you don't want to put down your headphones because the music is great and your headphones plays it really good?
The post
I cannot code without headphones on. I'm currently on a longterm journey to find the best over-the-head budget headphones for coding, just out of curiosity, I started with cheap Phillips headphones for a couple of euros (9 or 10 i don't rem.), I would say they are usable, for a casual user, but far-far from the best
Then i purchased a Sennheiser HD451 for like 3x the price of the Phillips, really good. I use them in work and wanted to go on with the comparison so i bought a ATH m30x for home, and for gods sake, they are soo fucking good, way better what i would expect from a budget headphone, it cost twice the price of the Sennheiser.
Whats your "daily driver"? What would you suggest to try next?
note: before these I was using earbuds which came with my cellphones and 2.1 systems5 -
this rant
https://devrant.com/rants/1622672/...
made me realise since I was little, I wanted to register
- my_surname.com (its a Hungarian name but there is a french comic strip on the site lol)
- then i wanted to register my_surname.sk since I'm from Slovakia (nope someone has a chain of petrol stations with this name)
- well its awkward but lets do my_surname.eu (my surname is the name of a traditional Hungarian needlework so no fuck you)
- ok, I'm a Hungarian so lets do my_surname.hu (well fuck you i wont even load, but I'm already taken so..)5 -
Currently running Kubuntu and want to switch to Antegros.
Installed UNetBootin.
Downloaded Antegros Live ISO from Antegros website.
Format USB to FAT32.
Used UNetBootin to make Antegros bootable USB.
Shutdown computer.
Restarted/boot from USB.
Computer checks drives.
Beeps, says no bootable options found, shutdown button pops up.
Shutdown and turn back on.
Kubuntu running.
Really fucking frustrating. Please help.4 -
!rant, but let me tell you this
I wanted to automate some tasks in work, because it started to be a pain in the ass, manually copying those assets took me between 30 - 50 min
let me see, I always wanted to check out python so I started to copy paste some code together, editing it and after a few hours all I know I have a tool which logs in to our work CMS download and unpacks a zip archive, creates a backup from the old files in the repository and moves the files I just downloaded in the repo, I put this in a loop for our twenty languages (websites) and its done
Im amazed, I never picked up a language this easy to use2 -
guys, I've spent 3 days trying to deploy a small site with a nodejs API on ubuntu/apache with a reverse proxy.
I was cursing everything and everyone when I realised the node app was listening on port 1337 while the proxy was set to 31172 -
Macbook pro is - at least where I live - considered expensive. Some of my friends have cheaper cars. I really hesitate to buy even a 2015 version, as thats the one I want. Im thinking about buying a used one ffs.
Now yesterday im chatting with this girl, exchanging nudes and so, when on one of her pictures I saw the apple logo, a macbook, I bet its an air, no its a pro, god damnit. So I asked her, that laptop is that yours? She said yes, she buyd it a few years ago with money she collected, because she photographs a lot (dah) and its really good to photoshop on that thing.
Ffs I want one for my work, which pays well, actually I can buy a brand new macbook with one month salary, why am I having these problems deciding? Am I the only one, again?
Wtf is wrong with me5 -
so one of our managers sent me an email what has to be changed in our FAQ section which runs on WP...
but then i remembered, our cleaning lady had a surgery and wasn't here for a week, maybe she will not come for another week and the kitchen is already starting to get real smelly...
so i created a user for our manager and sent him the credentials to his brand new WP editor account so he can make his changes and went to wash the dishes instead
the end.1 -
Most satisfying bug, it was something with good old $.ajax, way back when Axios wasn't a thing and SPAs weren't so widely used.
I was somehow able to fix the call params for a file that would not load with any other setup. Maybe it was just setting async to sync or something like that, however the thing is I was not familiar with AJAX at all, but I managed to get it run.
Then I googled, why its working and figured out all the answers on SO and other pages were the exact thing i set up for my call. I was so proud
some context: I was struggling with this bug for days and asked more experienced web devs, everybody answered, your code should just work fine.
Maybe thats why I have a positive relation with SO, because the first thing i searched there was something that I figured out myself, haha -
Looking for an online Bootcamp to learn front end development and eventually full-stack. I was looking at a combo of Free coding camp and Udemy Complete web developer Bootcamp. Any suggestions?1
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Story about someone elses rant
A = coworker;
B = random guy from company, but from another office;
C = manager we like a lot, cause he has IT background;
A asked B about a problem, because B worked with the that thing. B answered I dont know. So A asked C, and told him, im asking you, because B said, he dont know. C went nuts and pulled a shitstorm on B, like who WTF do you think you are, that you cant give at least a hint to A on the problem or Cc someone who may know more about the problem.
what i wanna say is, shouldnt it be common sence if someone asks me about a problem i navigate him to a person, who knows more than me? Even if its the first day i the office, I know this is my team leader he should see the bigger picture of the problem, so ask him. But telling idk is like, go fuck your self. -
rant && what do you think?
so one of our ISP (Orange Slovakia) had troubles with service for like two days. Their DNS servers translated domains to IPs reaaally slow or not at all. So when i saw the dns error in chrome (yes i use chrome and not quantum) I changed my dns to google dns and ignored it.
Two days later when the service was back up and running, this ISP went to the local media and made a statement "we had a DDOS attack, no user data were harmed, blabla" that was when my BS radar went bananas... so somebody DDOSd your DNS server ... for two fucking days straight... this is probably a lie or they have really noob engineers (or both).
I'm not an expert on network services or routing, or servers but, how about turning off this server, IP and setting up a backup on a different IP ? Possibly anyone here with experience how to handle DDOS? Whats the chance of this happening? i'm really curious23 -
is it just me or
<job ad>
...
min 1 year experience with web dev
min 5 years experience with web dev in JS
...
</job ad>
does not make much sense4 -
so I'm the new guy now, my new team write complicated, deep-for-no-reason IFs instead of a switch, gave me a shitload of resources to get up to date with their standards, insisted to every time make sure my code has been tested, then the first deployment I see THEM do breaks production, because a major fucking app had no tests whatsoever, also half of the team has 30+ years of experience in backend, laughs about TS on the server (which is actually fair) and I'm the frontend guy
challenge accepted4 -
don't you just hate, when this happens? translated from Slovak we call this "the system of the falling shit" you know this under "hot potato"
email:
from: marketing coworker
to: senior dev 1
* asks for a lot of stuff, deadline yesterday, high priority, on a site for which the jenkins build is crashing every once in a while, because we are migrating all the time so some folders are already deleted or not created yet and the build config is really strict *
forwarded from: senior dev 1
@senior dev 2
forwarded from: senior dev 2
@senior dev 3
forwarded from: senior dev 3
@junior me
ಠ_ಠ fuck me i guess ¯\_(ツ)_/¯1 -
I'm just dumping 10 GB of data remotely from a mysql db, because my el cheapo VPS run out of space
can you suggest a good book?
oh, actually I already found one, the title is "Prepare your fucking server/workspace properly if you want to play around with a lot of data"5 -
Went to download Kubuntu over Ubuntu since I'm not a fan of Unity. Error message during install, crashed computer, have to reinstall Ubuntu using backup USB -.-4
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This is what really grind my gears:
Calculating Size
relating to https://devrant.com/rants/1167125/...
4 -
finishing existing projects, resurrecting abandoned projects with dev friends from uni (where we had actual customers calling us and saying they wanna pay us, but we are idiots and couldn't come up with effective pricing)
meanwhile learn proper JS (and node.js, also getting from noob to pro in vue.js/vuex and react/redux)
also getting better in linux server management -
every time a popup window pops out above another popup i imagine a little innocent bunny massacred by some wicked PM
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[SPOILER]
I just watched Black Mirror: Bandersnatch the movie with chromecast, I didn't know what was going on until the movie told me, then I switched to the laptop4 -
I ranted about my new laptop and linux mint on it https://devrant.com/rants/1919501 and I said there will be a rant about the OSs I tried
So my new laptop is the Xiaomi notebook pro, with the highest config: i7/16g/256g/mx150 gpu/alu body/10h battery/perfect keyboard/great screen. Its Chinese, but Xiaomi... you kinda expect flaws, problems, but i watched all the reviews and knew about all the things, and the price was 35% down (836 + taxes = 997EUR) for a macbook pro clone? its a no brainer.. but i had a rattling vent (fixed with shoe glue lol) now its just loud in windows but not in linux, strange
I changed the Chinese windows on it to EN... worked perfect... but... It has 2 slots for NVMe ssd so i bought a 500gb one for the second slot, I put windows on that (because games, occasional insta story video edit, big files, anyway...) and put Ubuntu on the 256gb original ssd.. (to develop on that) and it was slow as fuck, I got errors all over the places, problems I never had before with ubuntu.. and mind you Windows had over 3000 MB/s for read and almost 2000 MB/s for write speeds on that disk... I was disappointed af. MIND YOU all my life I had Ubuntu on secondary old/slow laptops/pcs working JUST FINE... I still don't know what the fuck happened.. the ui was choppy to say the least and I just was not ready to accept that on this HW while windows worked like a charm (yuck)
Then I went with Manjaro (based on arch, here on devrant people like that stuff, must be great)... well after I installed it, it booted up to the login page and black screen... something with the MX150 GPU according to the interwebs... by this time I was so frustrated and in time stress because of my flight home for xmas that I decided not to fix Manjaro but to go with another flavour
Linux Mint it is... everything kinda works out of the box, like they say... it has dark mode everywhere in the settings without downloading some bloated theme or plugin like on other flavours. So I sticked with Linux Mint. Im not saying its perfect, but I have it for like a month now and all its flaws are these small irrelevant settings not working, utilities like the battery showing funny numbers in the post I linked in the beginning.
Other than this I want to ask you guys. In all 3 distros I tried, they all had text scaling issues everywhere (os, apps, web). I think I have a regular fullHD display, its sharp, but I mean... I never expected resolution or scaling issues or things like that. On Windows I never had those scaling issues... other than the famous win10 "blurry apps"3 -
I love this weekly group rant, it made me think back when my mom started to work in a kindergarten and she used to take me to work when i was 4-7 years old ('94 - '97).
There was this "TV" and all the kids used to smash the buttons on it. It also played sound, but there was always a lot of kids there so I was shy to ask them if I push the buttons too. But I was the teachers son, so I didn't had to sleep in the afternoon, and then I discovered this computer thing I was amazed, it was like nothing I saw before, you push it and it does what you pushed and, *_* this smiley is exactly me back then. It was probably an old commodore with green text on the black screen. It was the moment when I decided to get more information about this wonder.
In elementary school (around '98) we had this computer room and as I was one of the best students back then I was granted access to it. It was a huge success in a post communist country to get money for new computers to teach us kids to use them back then, so only the chosen ones could use them, and I was one of them, one of the best time time of my life, honestly. At this moment I knew for sure, I want one and when I grow up I gonna work with them. I had no idea what you can do with it but every adult is talking about how well paid are the people who use them at work. :D it sounds funny now
In '89 or '99 we visited our family in a town far away. My grandfathers sisters boyfriend had a computer and he said, look I also have internet. This face again *_* what the hell is internet. So he explained me this internet thing which "makes all computers connected, but you have to pay for it and it kinda works like wired phones you know. Here you put the address and you can open the website"
me: website, whoooa *_*
8-9 year old clever me: "but how do you know what are the addresses, do you have a phonebook for these addresses?"
he showed me google, and a slovak and czech search engine, I remember searching for "funny pictures" on the slovak search engine, because I was thinking If I search google, its english so he would pay too much :D
I didn't had a computer until I was 13 years old, but then I started to messing with Microsoft Front Page 2003, was amazed with the html and css generated by it and started to editing it.
Now Im a front end web dev -
in middle/high school we learned turbo pascal and while others tried to draw a rectangle or circle I drew a church
I never saw the teacher that surprised, but not much recognition since that1 -
after moving back to my home country, buying an apartment and after my career started to head to nowhere because there is nothing to code for me in work, just manager stuff, I am returning to coding after work to get back into shape, practice more, learn new stuff (and the old stuff)
wanted to create a small webapp with laravel/vue, holy fucking shit how hard it is (for me) to setup your env
install composer -> command php not found
o.O im pretty sure i had php on this machine HOW THE FUCK WOULD I HAVE ALL THESE PROJECTS HERE THEN
install php8.1 -> no such package
-.-
upgraded to ubuntu 22.04, install php8.1, composer
create new laravel project -> 3 errors, missing laravel/pint, phpunit
* visible confusion * i told you to create a project, if you need it, why didn't you... oh, wait
composer install -> same
well, * looks left, looks right * --ignore-platform-reqs
but still getting the chills from a new project, now I go sleep and tomorrow I start my journey to get back to business, wish me luck -
I just started learning how to code and am very frustrated trying to find a degree to go into. I'm interested in becoming a Web Developer but the idea of being a CEH intrigues me also. Any ideas what programs or degrees I could go for? I'm near the University of central Florida if that helps. Please give me guidance for I am lost1
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me: FE in work, but doing fullstack on my passion projects and somewhat confident on small VPSs - heck, I have a beard, I can do server stuff :) - migrating a WP site that just wont work, copied everything, didn't work, used a migration tool, didn't work, always getting "Connection refused"... must be something with the SSL certificates.. 3 fckn days passed by and nothing when I stumbled upon a forum post with similar issue where the guy stated: I tried all the obvious like copying files, db, certificates, enabled ssl on apache... then it hit me, this is a new installation, I didn't enabled SSL in apache sudo a2enmode ssl restarted apache and BOOM everything is working
part of me was like how stupid you have to be - but the other part is like I guess I learn something every day, this is how you migrate a WP site with the domain #IloveIT
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