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Random Uncle: So what do you do?
Me: Uncle, I'm a dev at xyz company.
RU: Ah so what do they do
Me: Uncle we work in the internet advertising business, kind of like AdSense
RU: So you basically spam the web?
Me: Yes :/11
Admin: "Wait, I noticed unusual traffic."
Me: "What is it?"
Admin: "Looks like we have a bot here."
Me: "A bot? Didn't know we are so popular."
Admin: "It makes constantly login requests through our API, it already surpassed 600.000! I will ban it right away."
Me: "wait, that just sounds like my bot.."
Admin: "DUDE, WTF? ARE YOU SERIOUS?"
When there is bug, you don't know of, it can end up quite embarrassing.11
Long rant ahead, but it's worth it.
I used to work with a professor (let's call him Dr. X) and developed a backend + acted as sysadmin for our team's research project. Two semesters ago, they wanted to revamp the front end + do some data visualization, so a girl (let's call her W) joined the team and did all that. We wanted to merge the two sites and host on azure, but due to issues and impeding conferences that require our data to be online, we kept postponing. I graduate this semester and haven't worked with the team for a while, so they have a new guy in charge of the azure server (let's call him H), and yesterday my professor sends me (let's call me M), H and W an email telling us to coordinate to have the merge up on azure in 2-3 days, max. The following convo was what I had with H:
M: Hi, if you just give me access to azure I'll be able to set everything up myself, also I'll need a db set up, and just send me the connection string.
H: Hi, we won't have dbs because that is extra costs involved since we don't have dynamic content. Also I can't give you access, instead push everything on git and set up the site on a test azure server and I will take it from there.
M: There is proprietary data on the site...
H: Oh really? I don't know what's on it.
<and yet he knows we have no dynamic data>
M: Fine, I'll load the data some other way, but I have access to all the data anyway, just talk to Dr. X and you'll see you can give me access. Delete my access after if you want.
H: No, just do what I said: git then upload to test azure account.
Fine, he's a complete tool, but I like Dr. X, so I message W and tell her we have to merge, she tells me that it's not that easy to set it up on github as she's using wordpress. She sends me instructions on what to do, and, lo and behold, there's a db in her solution. Ok, I go back to talking to H:
M: W is using a db. Talk to her so we can figure out whether we need a database or not.
H: We can't use a database because we want to decrease costs.
M: Yes I know that, so talk to her because that probably means she has to re-do some stuff, which might take some time. Also there might be dynamic content in what she's doing.
H: This is your project, you talk to her.
<I'm starting to get mad right now>
M: I don't know what they had her do apart from how it interfaces with what I've done.
H: We still can't have databases.
M: Listen, I don't do wordpress, and I'm not gonna mess with it, you talk to her
H: I won't do any development
<So you won't do any dev, but you won't give me access to do it either?>
M: Man, the bottleneck isn't the merging right now, it's the fact that W needs a db
H: I know, so talk to her
M: THE RESTRICTION TO NOT HAVE DATABASES IS NOT MINE, IT'S YOURS, YOU TALK TO HER. I can't evaluate whether it's a reasonable enough reason or not since I don't know the requirements or what they're willing to spend.
H: It's your project.
M: Then give me fucking access to azure and I'll handle it, you know you'll have to set up wordpress again regardless whether we set it up the first time.
H: Man just do your job.
At this point I lost it. WHAT A FUCKING TOOL. He doesn't wanna do dev work, wants me to go through the trouble of setting up on a test subscription first, and doesn't want to give me access to azure. What's more, he did shit all and doesn't want to anything else. Well fuck you. I googled him, to see if he's anyone important, if he's done anything notable which is why he's being so God damn condescending. MY INTERNSHIP ALONE ECLIPSES HIS ENTIRE CV. Then what the fuck?
There's also this that happened sometime during our talk:
M: You'll have to take to Dr. Y so he'll change the DNS to point to the azure subscription instead of my server.
H: Yea don't worry, too early for that.
M: DNS propagation takes 24 hours...
H: Yea don't worry.
DNS propagation allows the entire web to know that your website is hosted on a different server so it can change where it's pointing to. We have to do this in 2-3 days. Why do work in parallel? Nah let's wait.
I went over his head and talked to the professor directly, and despite wanting to tell him that he was both drunk and high the day he hired that guy, I kept it professional. He hasn't replied yet, but this fucker's pompous attitude is just too much for me alone, so I had to share.
PS: I named his contact as Annoying Prick 4 minutes into our chat. Gonna rename him cz that seems tooooooo soft a name right now.50
From the Gods of The Stack Overflow for the pesants of the community:
Just go there. This is everything you have to know, ever.57
“Why don’t you have a girlfriend? You have such a great personality”
“I’m a programmer.”
“Oh. I see.”20
You turn off the PC.
You went to bed to sleep.
You realized you didn't have dinner.
You are hungry.
You are lazy and tired to get up.
You are in dilemma.
You are pretty screwed.16
So, as everyone knows on here by now (or, a lot of ranters), I am a fervid privacy person.
Appearantly a new surveillance law in my country is about to extend mass surveillance/hacking a lot. So here a rundown of what they are about to be allowed to do (stuff that is not okay imo and this is the reason I am so pro-privacy):
- Mass Data Gathering: The intelligence agency over here (lets call it IA from now) can pretty much record everything send through the country.
- Extra Protection: If they want to conduct surveillance on journalists/lawyers, they have to go through extra channels first at least.
- Data/survaillance sharing: The IA is allowed to share their raw/filtered data with foreign intelligence agencies without limits. Also, they're allowed to conduct surveillance based on foreign requests.
- Secret DNA database: A secret DNA database will be created which can store the DNA profiles of any person who has commited any kind of crime. These profiles are allowed to be stored for a maximum of 30 years. This database is allowed to be shared with any foreign intelligence agency.
- Hacking: Unlimited power to hack any device deemed neccesary to hack in relation to crime. From computers to smartphones and so on. Also, it's allowed to use zero-days without reporting them to the vendor (we have seen what can go wrong with that through the ShadowBrokers scandal).
- Automatic Database Collection: They are allowed to directly tap into any database they see required (banks, healthcare, messaging services and so on). Practically this can lead to backdoors being build in because if you don't cooperate, you can go to prison. (mother of god I am not using anything closed source anymore if possible).
So yeah, this is pretty much the reason why I am so privacy consious. This country is fucked.57
I seriously hate when people don't use page breaks in documents. Don't mash the Enter key 50 times! Just hit Ctrl+Enter you fools!!9
: what Car is to Carpet
: what Swift is to Suzuki Swift
: what Perl is to a Pearl
: what Ruby is to a Ruby Gemstone
: what Go is to Go Home
: what Shell is to Sea Shell
: what Bash is to Big Bash
: what Alice is to Alice in wonderland
: what Rust is to Rusty Theron
: what Awk is to your Awkward cousin
: what Dart is to Darts
: what Julia is to Julia Roberts
: what Korn is to Corn
: what Maple is to Syrup
: what Caml is to a Camel
: what CHILL is to Netflix
: what Crack is to Crack
: what Curl is to Curls
: what Hugo is to Boss
To be continued..
Have a joke? Say it in comments
Criteria : programming language on left , analog on right17
Took yesterday off to sort out a new passport.
Today on the stand:
Manager: "So we've been trying to get app X running on a dev environment for client X but we couldn't expose it to them"
Me: "Well yeah it's a dev environment if you want to give them one give them access to staging"
Manager: "Oh well we're still going to give them access to dev because they asked for it. It's due for 10am but we couldn't get it to run. You have to get it running since we edited the config files"
*accessing dev environment*
half of config files is missing, random files committed to the repo, SSL certs manually edited, eth0 down and found swan vpn installed.
never taking a day off again.1
When you accidentally open the emulator when you already have 7 android studio projects, 20 opera tabs ,code::blocks,u torrent, sublimetext and a word document open9
"could you put me through to a colleague who has the ability to have an actual intellectual conversation?"
Somehow I finished the call but God damn it took some energy and self control not to completely lose my shit. His tone was also very denigrating (he just didn't agree on something which was his fucking problem)
Don't fucking insinuate that I'm wrong. I WILL DESTROY YOU WITH DATA.
So, someone at the factory put in a ticket that says the expedited truck carriers are showing up in the wrong place. I emailed my boss that's it's by design, has been for a while, as a result of business rules and sales wanting it to be shown as priority.
Then he passes it up the chain to see if the requested change should go through. The plant manager says his guys at the plant say it changed recently.
Then I respond "no, sorry, no changes recently. It's actually been that way at least 5 years."
He then responds "Well, my guys think it changed recently, and if it had been 'at least 5 years' they would have noticed by now."
Oh fuck no, motherfucker. You do not quote me saying I'm wrong. We have fucking version control to see the changes I have fucking proof.
At this point I'm shaking. Nothing pisses me off more than people saying I'm wrong, and nothing excites me more than telling people they're wrong. We have an overlap.
So then I go back and back and back in the blame, find the exact change and ticket for when this started happening. Email all this data to my boss. He then takes the pettiness and salt out of my tone and forwards it pretty much saying "actually, we have exact proof that it happened 6 years, 7 months ago. Here's your proof."
This happened early morning. No respond the rest of the day. That's fucking right.3
My father just told me that I'm not a good programmer, because there are kids out there, who are younger than me and know more programming languages.
Besides the fact that the number of programming languages one knows has nothing to do with programming skills, I just said: "I wanna see that kid.", because I already knew his answer.
"Well, I never said there are many of these kids."
Me and myself have worked on so many projects together but somehow we never really finished any of them...10
Still haven't been paid for completed a retail shop project. But all is well, since the system will not start on Black Friday till I remove the if condition 😈10
Email. Fuck everything about it.
It's an obnoxious queue of messages I somehow must handle. And everyone in society expects you to have email. You can cancel your phone number, maybe even live without a house... but every hobo still must check their email.
It is an endless shitstream of things I don't want. Like a garden with some nice tomato plants, but then a really smelly weed starts invading and no matter what you do it keeps coming back.
I don't want to login to unsubscribe. I don't care about your "notifications center", or "managing the offers you receive from us".
And then your boss asks you to design an email campaign... I don't want to receive that shit, why would our customers? And even if I agreed with using email as a communication channel... YOU THOUGHT CSS IN INTERNET EXPLORER WAS A BITCH?
No really. Fuck email. Fuck everything about it.17
Maybe if I get a "world's #0 programmer" coffee cup people will think I'm under qualified to hack their Facebook...3
Q: How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 35. One to actually change the bulb and 34 to say after the fact, "I could have done that better."11
Some companies have images of their tech support personnel in their websites.
They show you Steve and Michael......but in reality you get Rajhit and Pakalu19
I was joking with my colleague what is the best comment for this if hell.
And now my boss send me this 🤣🤣🤣8
I got my new laptop and I have to say, I love the elegant and professional look of the matte aluminium ba...
just kidding, it's already covered in stickers...13
Some people assume that since I am techy that I have a really good laptop or setup.
Just have my raspberry pi 3 as my main computer. Go Linux🔥🔥12
Reinstalling arch. I broke it while grading homework. Sad. Also worried my phone is going to ring and I'm going to not have my laptop ready.17
Dad thinks i sleep all day and always tells me to get a job.
Mom doesn't know nothing about what i do
Wife thinks I'm talking to other women and have a fucking magic money tree when bills need to be paid.
Wife's grandparents think I'm a lazy piece of shit but ask me to fix their fucking tvs.
Mother-in-law: knows i make money working on the computer but not how.14
Client, two months ago: "Where is the new and complicated custom software?! We needed this a week ago!"
Also client three weeks after delivery: "We still don't have time to test the new and complicated custom software. You'll have to wait for payment a little longer."6
Why do people get so unbelievably greedy when there is something for free.
Like "it's a free game server host, let's just create 100 accounts so I can have 100 empty servers"
Or "you can get a free game key if you contribute a lot, so let's just spam until I get the key"
It's so painfully to watch.3
YouTube, I called it. I freaking called it! This is an old story, it was back when Cryptominer via browser became a thing.
Me: "How long do you thing it will take until YouTube advertisements will contain cryptominer?"
IT WAS A F*CKING JOKE YOUTUBE, I DIDN'T KNOW YOUR ADVERTISEMENT POLICIES ARE REALLY THAT BAD!
A month later, after I said it to an friend, I had increased lags with literally anything I was doing. After some days of research (because I didn't pay that much attention to it at first), I could pin down the cause to my YouTube tab in my browser (because I listen to 24/7 music livestreams). And I was like:
Me: "I bet this is because of cryptominer. I bet this is because of cryptominer."
Guess what. About two weeks later YouTube confessed. Cryptominer ads were possible.
I wonder how much money these companies made...5
!rant OMG GOOD NEWS!!!!!!!! I only have tendinitis in my elbow causing pain in my hand, not carpal tunnel or arthritis 😄10
as our services are completely free and we do not get paid for working, we beg you to understand, that there are some things you have to tolerate.
1. We are DEFINITELY not going to work 24/7 for you and answer immediately anytime. Only because it's 3pm in your country doesn't mean it's 3pm in our country!
2. We will NOT waste any time figuring out your gibberish and translate your language to our language or whatever, you have to be able to understand English anyways because our website and rules and everything is English!
3. Speaking of rules, READ THEM, I'm sick of explaining to you why you are banned, what do you think FAQs are made for?!
4. STOP SPAMMING AND TAGGING ME FFS. First we have a support chat so you can leave a message there and somebody will read it eventually AND SECONDLY I'M NOT THE ONLY SUPPORTER SO STOP BUGGING ME.
5. READ THE FUCKING MESSAGES I WRITE!
geez.. I just lost it for a second... okay.. gotta go now, I got 20 new messages since I started writing this rant.7
😩 That moment when you finish a project (part), close browser tabs close tons of terminal windows, quit a giant ide.. and you realize that you forgot a thing.. 😩12
Hey guys! I made a sort of parody website as a project for my university and I would really love to get some critisism!
Here it is:
Note that it's not perfect, has some dead links and is overall still under construction, but if you don't like the UI, User Experience or some other feature, please let me know!
I'm sorry if this isn't the place to pester for help, but I've literally got no one to ask (who knows his shit) for opinions...13
I read an interesting article on internet.
Thought my friend would like it and sent a link to him.
I will never send anything to him again.6
Client: "Help me I can't find my programs"
Me: "Have you installed them right?"
Client: "Yes, I have"
Basically I spent an hour explaining him that dragging an installer from the download folder to program folder isn't actually installing...7
That sick feeling you get when you realise you could have been insanely rich and retired today if you had only invested in bitcoin early 🤢😭
1BTC reaches $10,993 AUD🤑🤑🤑9
I'm on the phone with an elderly customer.
Customer: Yes, I just got my computer back and now it's not talking to my monitor.
Me: Okay, and the monitor cable is plugged in?
Me: Okay, I think I remember that you had a graphics card. Do you have a horizontal blue port?
Me: Okay. So let's look near the middle of your computer. Do you see a blue port?
Customer: I don't know. I know the blue monitor cable is plugged in, but I don't know what color it is.
Me: Alright, let's unplug the cable for a second.
Customer: Okay, done.
Me: Now let's look for those two blue ports...
Customer: I only see one.
Me: And it's near the middle of the computer?
Me: Okay, let's plug the monitor in.
Customer: Okay, done.
Me: Now does the monitor come up with anything?
Customer: Let me get to where I can see it... No, there's nothing.
Me: Even if you wiggle the mouse a little?
Me: Does the computer talk to the monitor if you move the mouse a little?
Customer: How do I do that?
Me: ...You take the mouse... and move it from side to side
Customer: Oh! I understand. Um, no. Nothing.
Me: Okay, well let's bring the computer in. I think I know what the problem is, I just need to put a piece of tape somewhere.
Customer: Oh, okay. Fine.2
My school just tried to hinder my revision for finals now. They've denied me access just today of SSHing into my home computer. Vim & a filesystem is soo much better than pen and paper.
So I went up to the sysadmin about this. His response: "We're not allowing it any more". That's it - no reason. Now let's just hope that the sysadmin was dumb enough to only block port 22, not my IP address, so I can just pick another port to expose at home. To be honest, I was surprised that he even knew what SSH was. I mean, sure, they're hired as sysadmins, so they should probably know that stuff, but the sysadmins in my school are fucking brain dead.
For one, they used to block Google, and every other HTTPS site on their WiFi network because of an invalid certificate. Now it's even more difficult to access google as you need to know the proxy settings.
They switched over to forcing me to remote desktop to access my files at home, instead of the old, faster, better shared web folder (Windows server 2012 please help).
But the worst of it includes apparently having no password on their SQL server, STORING FUCKING PASSWORDS IN PLAIN TEXT allowing someone to hijack my session, and just leaving a file unprotected with a shit load of people's names, parents, and home addresses. That's some super sketchy illegal shit.
So if you sysadmins happen to be reading this on devRant, INSTEAD OF WASTING YOUR FUCKING TIME BLOCKING MORE WEBSITES THAN THEIR ARE LIVING HUMANS, HOW ABOUT TRY UPPING YOUR SECURITY, PASSWORDS LIKE "", "", and "gryph0n" ARE SHIT - MAKE IT BETTER SO US STUDENTS CAN ACTUALLY BROWSE MORE FREELY - I THINK I WANT TO PASS, NOT HAVE EVERY OTHER THING BLOCKED.
Thankfully I'm leaving this school in 3 weeks after my last exam. Sure, I could stay on with this "highly reputable" school, but I don't want to be fucking lied to about computer studies, I don't want to have to workaround your shitty methods of blocking. As far as I can tell, half of the reputation is from cheating. The students and sysadmins shouldn't have to have an arms race between circumventing restrictions and blocking those circumventions. Just make your shit work for once.
**On second thought, actually keep it like that. Most of the people I see in the school are c***s anyway - they deserve to have half of everything they try to do censored. I won't be around to care soon.**2
Discussing LoL skins with the intern.
Me : "I mean... The skin that you've got is great and all, but my skin looks really good. I'll let you try it out sometime. The texture really brings out the character"
Intern (he's Indian, with dark skin) : "Sure. But you'll also have to try on my skin. It's quite darker and looks cooler."
HR passing by doesn't say anything, but looks at both of us with concern.4
Guy using VPN:
why would anybody use tor unless he hides something?
Me (using Tor):
why would anyone use VPN unless he hides something?
In my opinion there is no difference in using Tor than in using VPN, it's all about privacy. I would consider Tor as an free alternative for your everyday privacy needs, if you can't afford VPN, or am I wrong?23
Since I started caring about privacy so much my mom thinks that I have something to hide.
Hell yeah I have.6
I was just testing the Postfix server on one of my mailers, for the hell of it.. EHLO, STARTTLS, all good. Then comes the mail submission part.
MAIL FROM email@example.com
Connection closed by foreign host.
Right after I say mail from, it just closes the connection! Is it just me or does this feel like the server says to me "fuck off"? :')19
If your site asks me to log in and doesn't implement OAuth with Google or at the very least Facebook then go fuck yourself.
I have enough usernames and passwords in my head, I don't want more.10
Windows... it's 10:48 on a fucking Saturday. All I want to do is watch some anime, write a bit of code, have some Huel and pretend the rest last week didn't happen... CAN YOU FUCKING FINISH AND LET ME IN ALREADY?!16
OCR (The exam board for my course) are fucking thick in the head when it comes to anything computing.
- I get a mark or two for saying open source software is worse than thier propritary counterparts
- ALL open source software forks must also be make open source. They spend so much time going over the legal stuff BUT HAVE NEVER HEARD OF OPEN SOURCE LICENCING!
- One exam paper had a not gate picture with 2 inputs...
- I have to differentiate between portable and handheld! YOU MEAN HANDHELD DEVICES ARE NOT PORTABLE!?!!?!?
- In level 2 education, OCR say 1 MB = 1024 KB - In level 3, they say 1 MB = 1000 KB, and 1 MiB = 1024 KiB, and expect you to differentiate. Why do you expect the wrong answer in level 2!?
- INFORMATION FORMATS AND STYLES ARE COMPLETELY DIFFERENT THINGS! If you look up synonyms for "style", "form" is there, and if you look up synonyms for "format", "style" is there.
- When asked for storage devices, I have to say "smartphone", "tablet", "desktop PC" - I mean yeah they store data but when you ask me for storage devices I will say "hard disk drive", "solid state drive", "SD card", etc. >.>
I could probably go on an on about this...
I sure do love being asked to copy-paste existing HTML/JS/CSS and being asked to just tweak it here and there, and then wait for other people's incompetence in copy-pasting... I sure do love being stuck with this sort of "education" ._.4
My special edition $130 mouse finally arrived. It takes it's place as the most pretencious thing I own21
First company I worked for, built around 40 websites with Drupal 7...in only a year (don't know if it's a lot for today's standards, but I was one guy doing everything). Of course I didn't have the time to keep updating everything and I continually insisted to the boss that we need more people if we are going to expand. Of course he kept telling me to keep working harder and that I "got this". Well, after a year a couple of websites got defaced, you know the usual stuff if you've been around for some time. Felt pretty bad at the time, it was a similar feeling to having your car stolen or something.
Anyways, fast forward about 2 years, started working on another company, and well...this one was on another level. They had a total of around 40 websites, with about 10 of them being Joomla 1.5 installations (Dear Lord have mercy on my soul(the security vulnerabilities from these websites only, were greater than Spiderman's responsibilities)) and the others where WordPress websites, all that ON A SINGLE VPS, I mean, come on... Websites being defaced on the daily, pharma-hacks everywhere, server exploding from malware queing about 90k of spam emails on the outbox, server downtime for maintenance happening almost weekly, hosting company mailing me on the daily about the next malware detection adventure etc. Other than that, the guy that I was replacing, was not giving a single fuck. He was like, "dude it's all good here, everything works just fine and all you have to do is keep the clients happy and shit". Sometimes, I hate myself for being too caring and responsible back then.
I'm still having nightmares of that place. Both that office and that VPS.
I'M TIRED OF HEARING THAT DEVELOPMENT IS NOT A CREATIVE FIELD! Creativity is emerging new ideas from non-existent ones. It is not confined to pretty designs or well-written copy. Sure, devs are logical problem solvers – but not a single dev will solve those problems the same way. Code is like the paint on our dark-themed canvases and you can see yourself out if you think devs are just robotic coding machines8
| Me and my team presenting an half-assed AI project to our lecturer.
Note that the algorithm doesn't work and we have a placeholder |
Lecturer after looking only at the UI: The project looks very good, I believe we are done here.
Team member: Don't you want to check the code?
Me: *trying to choke him without anyone noticing*
Lecturer: No need.
Lives were saved that day.3
THIS APP IS WHAT I CALL PERFECT.
I didn't know you can have a terminal on your fucking phone!!!!17
New dev: I need help with this issue. I've been debugging it all day.
*2 hours later*
Me: spent a while debugging it, eventually came across a stack overflow post that says you can't do that.
New dev: oh I saw that earlier, didn't think it applied.
Me: ... why ... accepted answer "It is not possible to do this, this way".
New dev: hhhmm, ok
... get the fuck out of this building immediately.3
Just got a whiteboard as a present from my gf. Decided to use to for flowchart, but I literally never made a flowchart. This...this doesn't seem right. Anyone got any experience with it? Where could I learn and are they actually useful?5
This rant has been one that I've been wanting to rant about for a while now. Me being drunk as fuck right now (mind, stay awake!) doesn't really help, but meh.
At least Wanblows was able to install its "features" properly... Except it wasn't, being the featureful ShitOS it is.
I want to rant about privacy. Not about "nothing to hide, nothing to fear". That's been ranted about plenty by the MIcroshaft-loving folks as well as the privacy-aware opposition. Rather, I'd like to rant about the privacy-concious.
I am a privacy-concious-person, with his current status quo being that he doesn't yet know a privacy-concious solution to every data-intrusive "common solution" out there. So I tend to value privacy next to De Lijn while sharing location data to Google with Google Maps. Point is, I do not know privacy-concious solutions to everything out there yet. So I use the convenient over the privacy-aware.
(after review while drunk I was unable to make sense of this)
In the privacy-aware circles I tend to see that it seems to be black and white. You share your data with Google, yet you oppose data collection by local institutes? WRONG!!! YOU MUST BE A TINFOIL HAT!!!
No, seriously I don't want to share my data with Google. Just that they're the only realtime navigation platform with decent UI out there that I know of right now.
Privacy isn't all black and white here. I block any intrusion that I'm able to, anything else I abide to, while awaiting a good alternative that does respect my privacy which I would gladly use instead. That does not imply that "I have nothing to hide". I do, and I have a lot to hide.
So that makes up the black and white nature of privacy, which is a fallacy. Another one is the whole idea of "I have nothing to hide" to begin with.
If you have nothing to hide, would you be comfortable with sharing your location data (IP address, habits, common trends, etc) with me? To share your information with me, to have your contacts share your info with me, without your consent? Of course you wouldn't. But that's what's happening right now.3
Been away for some time. Didn't have anything to tell tbh - until today.
As you may remember I started a new apprenticeship at big (and super cool) company. We develop software for various platforms.
I'm currently working on a plugin displaying some weatherdata. This plugin is supposed to be in 2 of our products. One is pretty nice but a pain in the ass to compile. The second one is a pure WTF. It's a web app with approximately half the functionality but 5x loading time (without demo data!) of the other product.
Well, today I learned why we have this loading time. They use I don't know how much different js frameworks and libraries for every single simple task. "It's easy and Facebook does it too. Besides that why are there frameworks if you could do it native?" HMMM LET ME GUESS BECAUSE SOME PEOPLE ARE FUCKING LAZY!?
Why do you need MULTIPLE frameworks for a simple web display!?3
Windows: No internet connection.
Me: Runs troubleshooter.
Windows: Problem found and resolved: Default Gateway Server is not available
Me: Wait.. since when can windows fix user input?!
Windows: Still no internet connection4
The only documented case that “have you tried turning it off and in again” is confirmed not to work8
If you don't feel good enough with your programming skills, keep practicing but don't be sad, there are dogs all around the world that love you3
The main reason I want to be an app developer is so that I can enable dark themes by default. That way people can see for themselves and the dark side can take over!4
Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! For motherfucking fuck's sake.... I now have been trying to fall asleep for 3 and a half hours but as I live in a dorm there is always a lot of noise until midnight... fine, I will just spend one hour lying in bed and contemplating my life choices... as I am finally falling asleep my roommate barges in, turns on all the lights, makes a fuckton of noise and leaves again for 15 minutes... Then he finally comes back and decides that he is going to bed too. Finally, some sleep! Nope... he started watching some stupid IG/FB videos without headphones... Right... I will just put on my ANC earphones to block it out. It's not working, too loud... and the party next door suddenly continues. FML... Ok, I will just play some thunderstorm sounds on my phone because the ANC works better with something playing. Nice, it works, the only thing I hear is the thunderstorm. As the track is ending and I am just about to fall asleep my roommate starts snoring with a sound amplitude of roughly 50db(I measured it). WHYYYYY?! WHYYYY IN THE MOTHERFUCKING WORLD CAN'T I GET SOME SLEEP HERE?! Not even fucking earplugs work.
PS: As I am writing the last word the party just got louder again... seriously fml11
Recently I got an E-Mail from PayPal.de with the headline "Your account gets limited". Fun Fact: I don't have a PayPal account.
This Mail got me curious though, as it couldn't be a phishing mail, since I don't have a PayPal account in the first place, so I opened the e-mail just to get greeted by pure emptiness. It was completely empty. I thought to myself "oh no, is this some sort of new trick? Did I get infected by some sort of a weird hacky backdoor trojan already?!"
Original E-mail Address: NULL (never seen this before)
I then realized, that Thunderbird blocked the only content from this mail: a clickable image.
This is getting even more confusing the longer I examine this unique mail. The image is showing me a domain from a site completely unrelated from PayPal, so it was obviously no phishing, but I didn't trust this clickable image, so I looked up its hidden link to find an even more confusing redirection to not a picture upload site like the image suggests, but to a game key reselling site instead, like wtf? What was the whole point of this whole e-mail? Was this a weird try to make advertisements for more than one website? It wasn't even a ref-link or something like that. It was just weird, iunno.10
So my mom says her printer isn't working anymore. I sit and battle with drivers and mysteriously missing virtual usb ports for two hours, give up, we decide to buy a new printer.
Next day she says her scanner isn't working either.
It's only then that I notice her USB hub cable is unplugged.. aargh.
Complete and total rant:
You know what fucking confuses the holy fucking shit out of me? DESIGN
I have MAD respect for motherfuckers that spend their days tailoring shit away in CSS, writing custom animations and toggles in JS and ensuring that their HTML is pristine as fuck. I really do and in my opinion they should b getting mad props from everyone, because if they so decide to learn GOOD server side scripting then they are most definitely on their way to create some awesome functional and beautiful shit.
I am not a designer by any means of it. And I know that shit is supposed to look good and work across a multitude of devices. Doing something like that takes me a couple of lines of code (granted, after hours of work that is) that may take a designer way less.
But why oh why do I see THOUSANDS of lines of CSS code for shit that does not take me half the amount of work that it takes other people?
Like seriously. I am trying to emulate the menu that university of Chicago uses(as an example for a lil design practice cuz i suck at it) and looking into their CSS I see thooooousands of lines of code to do something that I did in about two hundred.
So wtf man, do I suck so hard that I am missing some serious shit? wtf is happening? This confuses me, because in my mind it should take me just about as much work as it takes them right?
AGAIN MAD RESPECT FOR DESIGNERS -- If you are a designer reading this please tell me wtf is happening14
Get a nasty headache. Right eye starts twitching. Probably just a little stress right? Job getting to me.
Feel a little dizzy for a couple days. Then I notice my right eye is kinna blurry.
Ah-hah! I'm the last one in my department without glasses. All that screen time finally got me. Gonna need the typical "computer nerd" glasses. So I make an appointment nbd.
That awkward moment when an optometrist diagnoses your high blood pressure problem.
Guess it was the stress after all. Yikes.3
This day is fucked.
At my CS Class my teacher gave us a pdf to make notes about basic Windows stuff like moving files to a directory, how to use a mouse and basic shitty windows stuff, that I knew when I was 5. I hate her. As for homework, she gave us to make a audio recording, make squares and elipses in paint. And make a business card in wordpad. But here is the catch. I don't have Windows laptop. I have Macbook Pro and I'm not planning to install that shitty os there. So what I did was use nano for the business card, illustrator for paint stuff, then photoshop for convertion to bmp (required format) and for the recording I will use audacity. Please tell me if you had worse cs class than me.14
Sorry for the absence.
So... Lately I've been working in shifts, doing extra hours and stuff... And today, Saturday I went to work for nothing... My boss fucked me just to make me go to work, when there isn't much work to be done...
Btw, I have a burn out for more than two years because I had to work and study and sleep for 4 hours a night, for months.... (check my profile for more info).
Today I had enough
Almost got killed while driving... felt asleep.
Monday I'll talk to the owner of the company
and If I don't like what I ear I'm making several complaints:
- One for the organization that protects workers
- One for the work court (we have that In Portugal)
- And one criminal complaint... After all they fucked my health, my life and are putting my life in danger just because...
Lets see how it goes...
Better part... If I make any of the complaints above they can't fire me, make me work overtime or in unpaid shifts...
Oh, and someone else also made a complaint recently... Governement oficials spent two days this week checking the company accounts and calling workers for confidencial intervews...
So, I guess It's the perfect time to drop the bomb on them.10
That moment when you have refactored so much shit, then really broken the project, but can't see yourself doing a git revert because you had invested so much time and know ultimately it *needs* these changes...
Thank god I fixed it! 😌3
Confession: I'm launching a major project for a client this time next week. It's some of the worst code I've ever written in my entire life. It's beyond awful, but I have no choice. It's sure going to be fun fixing it for the next 2 weeks post launch.8
Every damn time I turn on my laptop I spend 15 mins just closing auto update shit from windows 10 and office
Dear Microsoft I have a 2Mbit line not 100000GB fiber optics, auto update cripples my internet 😒4
You know u have no life when you get a call, you're all excited about who's it going to be...
"oooh an unknown number!"
... *automated voice* "This is apple calling you for your apple verification code... your code is..."
And u realize u have ur computer on which u need to enter your code because u tried to login 2 minutes ago...2
If you're writing a programming textbook, please double check your snippets before publishing. I just spent ten minutes trying to make sense of how a function worked, only to realize the author wrote the wrong output.
They ask me how i can stare at a screen for 6h and go to sleep right away. They say it makes them unable to sleep after that time.
I say EMBRACE THE POWER OF F.LUX2
You guys remember that awful Java class that I'm taking at uni? Mentioned in this rant here: (https://devrant.com/rants/1461472/...).
Well we had an assignment to make a program that accepted any amount of numbers from a user and add the unique ones to an array (so if 2 was already entered, it would not be added to the array a second time), and then print the array out backwards. Simple as fuck right?
I checked my grade from the assignment I turned in and see that I only received 10 out of 50 points. Why?
"Program compiles and works with expected output. Partial credit for using ArrayList instead of array".
Uhm.. Partial credit is 10 out of 50?? And what the hell? Yeah okay let me go make this stupid program that involves an array with an unknown length and see how fucking perfect it works out for me.
Fuck you for docking my grade because I made a program that was sensible.
Someone just overwrote 2 weeks of work in SVN because they don't understand merging.
When they did an update before committing they ignored the conflicts and tried to build their work.
But wait it won't build if their are conflicts, I know I'll just copy this backup over the checkout and check that in instead.
It took me over an hour tho fix this fucktard's mistake and I still don't think they understand what they did wrong. Their supposed to have 40+ years of experience.
In the end it turned out they wanted to change about 10 lines. They had checked in files that they didn't even change, they were just out of date compared to trunk.4
wanted to buy a domain, I loaded the url to check if it was available. it redirected me to another domain, where the only content was a bible quote.4
Long story short a guy texted me on Xing, he had an interesting idea, I joined in and now we are founding a startup.
Short story long, a guy texted me on Xing. I usually don't give a fuck because there always just fucktards that want to offer me modern enslavement. No thanks you lifeless greedy hamsters! (no offense) This time was different though. It was not the usual kind of words and the idea sounded pretty awesome. So I gave it a try.
We met in a Café and talked about the idea and about my role in it. It went pretty well and we basically had a nice little chat, coffee and cake.
I was still not convinced. It sounded to good to be true. Why would something like this ever happen to me? You know that kind of feeling. It was like "Hopefully I'm not selling my soul to the devil now."
We now work on the project, already have 5 customers and are a step before the first financial investment. I'm pretty amazed how that turned out!
Now to disappoint you a bit more (or maybe to give you hope?) All I've worked so far (except that one little one-year internship) happend by, me talking to someone that had a job, me being honest about what I want and me rejecting anything that runed my guts inside out. That's it. I never really applied for something. I just get to know the people and with that comes the opportunity. Just be respectful, curious and honest. The others will notice. Chances rise that you'll find something you love todo.4
Meet today.... Fetlang
lick Bob's cock
lick Duke's left nipple one million times
while Ada is submissive to Duke
make slave scream Ada's name
Have Charlie spank himself
Have Ada lick his tight little ass
Have Bob lick Charlie's tight little ass, as well
make Ada moan Bob's name
make Bob moan Charlie's name
Never felt so dirty after calculating the fibonacci sequence...
"Fetlang is a statically typed, procedural, esoteric programming language and reference implementation. It is designed such that source code looks like poorly written fetish erotica."8
So... I’m sitting here doing pretty much nothing, just reading through some rants when all of a sudden I get a wave of emails.
We noticed a login from a new device or location and want to make sure it’s you.
Device: Firefox, Windows 8
Where: New Jersey, United States (Approximate)
OhhhhhKay then... so there’s a couple of problems with this, 1 I didn’t even know I had a Pinterest account, 2 I don’t have Pinterest in my password manager either.
So I follow the link and fair enough it’s actually pintest, so I attempt to login, to no avail, oh maybe it’s a social login..., ok let’s try google, nope that wasn’t it, deletes account, logins with Facebook, oh here we go, checks logins, 1 random jersey player, deletes account, swaps to Facebook, changes password (this fucker was already 100+ characters) and adds 2FA and contains no new logins 🤔
Ok... so what the fuck, either someone managed to get through a long ass password or something phishy is going on, the email for FB logins is seldomly used (maybe a handful of services at best) as I have another for all the junk and spam bullshit I expect from today’s “marketing”2
Yet another bullshit app to cure your problems that have taken place by not talking to people. No app can give you the comfort equal to talking to a person that cares about you can give. Go talk to some real people ffs.3
I can only imagine what goes through clients’ tiny brains. Do they really think: “oh I know what will get shit done, insult the developer, his work, and demand things be fixed while saying the whole system is broken even though they have multiple times in the past demonstrated that it was either me using it wrong or an extremely quick and simple fix. I also have a problem with a few listed items in particular not the whole system, but I’m gonna insult everything.”
Fucking rude fucks!
1. Get rubber ducky
2. Finish Android Oreo for my phone.
3. Do some stuff.
4. Well I don't fucking know I don't have plans for few fucking months !!!
5. Fucking Really ?
6. ... OK that's enough !!1
When you spend 5+ hours on Civ V, are the host of the United Nations, friends with everyone, raking in gold, more technologically, socially and culturally advanced than everyone and your game crashes.
And you haven't saved the entire time. Like a wet fucking turd.
Charon you tool!4
'Cause the gamers gonna game, game, game, game, game
And the government is gonna overplay, play, play, play, play
Baby, I'm just gonna code, code, code, code, code
I code it off, I code it off
Hackers gonna break, break, break, break, break
And the fakers gonna fake, fake, fake, fake, fake
Baby, I'm just gonna code, code, code, code, code
I code it off, I code it off3
anyone ever had a relative download a virus and when confronted about it they say no? even though you specifically told them not to open weird looking emails.
well, pops apparently did NOT open a ransomware email 😂 Baby, bye, bye, bye... to all the files7
I’m a backend - spaghetti - developer, and today i took the biggest mindfuck in my life when i found out that it’s possible to have functional mockups... at first glance i tought that i’ve only received a screenshot collection of what the designer did... guess what... i was able to click lè buttons and go trough the whole application flow.
Thanks Adobe for xD ...
I should get a freakin designer job.4
Wanted to have Samsung Dex for work, so I can run office on it and kick windows from my dual boot laptop.
Dex pad was on sale.
Brought it to work.
Work monitor doesn't have hdmi.
I'll ask the technician later if he either has a monitor flying around he doesn't need or an adapter or something.3
Goodbye Java I will not miss you at all! I swear ...
I do like it when making web services (especially that I can use Java8) but for Android you have been a torture. Hello sweet Kotlin! I shall embrace you and treat you like my newly born baby!!
Working on a new project where I need to talk to a web service (also made by me).
Started writing in Java, all is cool and unit tests pass.
Downloaded Android Studio 3 Beta 1 and converted my Java code to Kotlin, That AsyncTask did not look nice in kotlin, converted it to async & await feature and I must admit lots of code removed, no more need to create a new fucking AsyncTask every time the app sneezes for data!
I feel like I'm working with C# but with difference in syntax.
My life is now complete :)8
> Drinking much because it's a hot day.
> Have to go to the toilet
> Cleaner is cleaning the toilets so nobody can go.
Every fucking time gaaaarh2
Any one else have a problem buying gadgets they don't need? I just bought an Amazon Echo and not entirely sure what to do with it. I also have about 6 waiting to be shipped from kickstarters9
So, on Wednesday (2018.2.28) I went to the local buddhist temple for some Zanzen lessons for beginners. Let me just say, that I am in love with it.
Zanzen is quite relaxing and makes you learn about yourself from the inside. It teaches you self control. The meeting at the temple felt quite different from a typical sunday morning at the church. At first, there was no person blabbering on about something and I didn't feel like I was about to fall asleep of boredom. There was also no feeling of urgency, like we're hanging on a string above a botomless firepit.
The buddhist monk did not tell us what to believe in, which was quite unusual. When I think of a religion, I usually think that the first thing that they would teach you about, is what to believe IN. But, it was never the case. They just told what not to do when performing Zanzen and told us that we should repeat it often to get better at it. Self discovery is important.
From now on, I will be attending these Zanzen sessions every week, cause I am very interested in them.1
Microsoft, do you even care what your shitty updates are doing or have you just given up?
Not only did the update start immediately after waking up from standby, it also had to brighten up my day by deleting everything afterwards.
Turns out the anniversary update gets confused by dual boot systems and then just deletes all partitions. And apparently they didn't manage to fix this for months now.
Can't wait for the coming "Creator's update", always wanted to see how an exploding PC looks.2
Just had an interview, but since I am a smart ass I decide that half an hour notice before the interview is OK after working the whole day with queues, docker & php multithreading, so we start an interview over Skype and my persona was able to duck up how simple joins work as well as function which is supposed to return the sum of even numbers between 2 and provided argument... I was off by 2..
Lesson learned never get in an interview after a whole day of mindfuckery .. Never
Step 1. Have no dissertation project.
Step 2. Wait for the last 3 hours till the deadline to come up with an idea.
Step 3. Realise that your just-thought-up project idea is something companies like Google and Amazon are still trying to figure out. But there is no time left.
Step 4: Approach your supervisor with the words "Imagine the possibilities". They respond with "Imagine the difficulty".
Step 5: They sign on it regardless since they are curious to see you fuck up with style, also you are too much in love with your idea already, and refuse to drop it.
Step 6: fml4
I rarely see emojis on devrant and most of the time I see them, they are used in a rather cringe-full way. There are some posts however, which use emojis in a way I like, for example to replace the client's name.
But my favorite emoji is still the shrug emoji, not the Unicode shrug emoji, but the *real* shrug emoji. ¯\_( ツ)_/¯10
I'm the only one who after saying "nah, come on, I will backup it tomorrow, what could happen?", spends the day after by reinstalling Windows (after an awesome crash) and praying that the project he was working on for months is still there?1
This log says way too much about me as a person.
Happy new year devRant! May the bugs be few and the clients plenty3
!rant // deprecated but who cares
I just wanted to write down something i realized. I realized that that I stopped growing as an individual a while ago.
Being a student put me in constant stress situations. I had to do things quickly. Lern things fast, drop things I don't understand immediately, move on, and repeat. I think this corrupted me, turning learning into something that it's not supposed to be. Even making me reject other people's opinions sometimes, which disgusts me every time I think back to it.
When I started programming I'd always try to read the code, until i completely understood what exactly this code was doing. Something I stopped doing a while ago because of the mentioned time constraints.
But today I got the hit by the consequences (German: Ich hab Retourkutsche abbekommen)
I was implementing an algorithm today, while my partner was writing the main program, which acted as indirect test cases. And the errors were discovered one after another because of my misinterpretation. Or Simply put, my lack of knowledge. Because it was already late, we stopped soon afterwards but I wanted to solve this problem by tomorrow. I really wanted to get my head around this algorithm, so that i could solve it with confidence. After getting my head smoking I felt something I haven't in a while: the feeling of achieving something. Making me finally realize not only how the algorithm was actually meant to work but it also made me again realize what learning is about.
Use your damn head.
Don't look away from the problem, solve it! Learning is about challenging yourself!
Sorry for stealing away so much of your time. Like i said, i just wanted to write this down. Maybe to burn this into my mind, to keep me on the right track from now on. But I also hope that i could deliver my message to someone that needed it as well.
Also it's late and i should have gone to sleep long time ago. 😴😵
I just hope my grammar didn't suffer because I'd that1
My coworker just replied to a customer’s out of office email. 😂
“Thank you for letting us know that you will be out of the office” 🤣
The subject of the email is “Re: Automatic reply: Data Export - Items Sold” 🤣🤣🤣
Since there is Scrum i am programmer , tester , software engineer , networking guy and application manager. Thank you Scrum didnt know that before. And i have no idea what i am doing right now ....3
CppCon2017 is COMING guys!! All these crazy speakers and conference! I won't say their names because they are too many x) But... FUCK ! That's the only moment I wish I lived in USA... No streaming, can't go... Only one thing to do, wait the upload on YouTube...
When I see people hyped about GoT or whatever... Guys this is the REAL HYPE!!!4
So, I'm obviously very intelligent when it comes to hardware!
Me, being this "intellectual," fucked up one of the cables (and by that one of the pins snapped off) connecting to the motherboard. Wanna know the consequences of this idiocy?
My front audio/USB ports are NO LONGER WORKING! I'm now reduced to using a USB audio adapter and ports in the back of my computer.
Christ, now I remember why I never fucking touch the hardware inside my computer.24
Do you wanna play a game?
WeedFS (CHMODing into 420 fam)6
Traceback (most recent call last):
File "me.py", line 1, in <module>
AttributeError: 'Dave_Elec' object has no attribute 'social'1
Code = play games
Watch a tutorial = watch a movie
Read docs = read a novel
So I end up being scolded for never studying for my academics and just having fun all the time
Well thus far is a bunch of rails small jobs. Funny enough this week I managed to get a bunch of php contracts "with the possibility to extend for larger contracts"
I am not really interested in long term contracts, but being that most developers that I see hired for small php jobs are not used to the patterns of development used for modern php and that i bring in a lot of my own stuff for it I know that I will be maintaining them for the long run.
So good stuff. Lets see how the week pans out. Getting really excited. Even tho I see more horrors in php than even on JS or ASP.NET or Java I still really love all languages that I have used. And normally I work like a mechanic. In which I bill by the hour(i am an expensice hooker...I mean developer) and finish everything as fast as possible to let me lazy around the house. So for example, if something takes 10 hours I will do it i 5 or less and charge all 10 hours, or I would charge per build(custom login and registration that kind of deal) and yeah. Pretty basic.
Good shit man!1
devRant needs some sort of Offspring-of-Clippy tool.
"It looks like you're posting a sort-of-humorous-the-first-time joke or meme. Have you bothered to scroll more than twice to see if this dead horse has, indeed, been well flogged?" 😜
I want to access a webpage on a non-standard port.
On desktop, I can override port bans for Chromium-based browsers and Firefox.
On Android, I FUCKING CAN'T, FIREFOX' CONFIG VALUE USED ON DESKTOP DOESN'T DO ANYTHING ON ANDROID, ANY OTHER BROWSER ALSO DOESN'T HAVE ANY CONFIG FOR THIS, AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Site's on port 21 because that's one of my school firewall's few allowed outbound ports, and I couldn't use 80/443 since a webpage is already running there.11
Yahoo finance shut down all their historic data uRL and im out of options. No API or packeges works. I have a report to pass up on tuesday for my ViVa and this is shit. Fuck. My months of work just wasted.7
I hate infinitely scrolling pages. There is no way of knowing (or at least, nobody is telling) how far you have to scroll to reach the end. Though I guess the answer is kinda given already; "infinitely". Fuck, I'll be scrolling for a while, then.11
Alrighty, saturday morning rant time!
I just recieved a mail from one of my not-so-much-loved colleagues.
Now Background first: I work in IT-Support. We provide services for other companies. One of those services is monitoring servers and clients for various things. I recently took over the project (was assigned to do it) and restructured everything, wrote new scripts to test more stuff, successfully tested it internally and rolled it out over the last 2 weeks.
Now one of these scripts hooks into the Windows Update API and looks at the update history. It filters for known Windows Update Agent strings (UpdateOrchestrator, AutomaticUpdates and AutomaticUpdatesWuApp in case you also want to do something like this) and then looks for installation errors over the last 24 hours and wherever there have even been any successful updates over the last one and a half months.
Back to that mail.
My colleague sent me this lovely mail about a ticket i opened about his customers servers beeing all out-of-date on updates.
"This is all wrong, everything's fine. I disabled the checks."
It's on bitch.
So i logged on to my work PC via TeamViewer, opened my script, connected to the customer and was ready to debug the shit out of my script, knowing i probably won't even need to.
I looked at the update history via Windows Update itself and behold: 1st April. That's almost 50 days in the past.
So the script works, go figure.
Great, so search for new Updates then.
Hm. What could it be? Did my super special colleague forget to care about his very special totally-needs-WSUS-customer WSUS again?
Online-Search finds a ton of new Updates.
Screenshot, write pissed mail to colleague, re-enable checks, breakfast.1
Yeah so my computer is fucked again. Spent 7.5 hours last night and almost 3 hours today trying to 'save time' reinstalling Antergos. Grub specifically, as everything I have tried hasn't fixed the black screen / immediate reboot I get when trying to start up. Fuck4
I really like how there is something new everyday that you can do to protect your privacy even more 😄3
Reading Python code written by Java programmers. I have no words to describe the horror. CamelCase everywhere...2
Either my server is hacked or I fucked something up two days ago without knowing, I suddenly start receiving a dms file when I try access my domain or either by IP, file name is: valroSG0.dms
Do I need to be worried :S10
Have a Monday Cat, all. Don't forget to wake up this morning!
(Image was dark, so had to edit into visibility. Yes, this is one of my cats.)2
Don’t hate me: Is there any OS with:
- Mojave’s shortcuts and gestures
- terminal like linux
- compatibility with games and graphic software like windows?
I don’t like MacBook’s price neither it’s hardware, but I don’t want to have to use something like Gimp on Linux neither have to build drivers lol and windows is slowly killing my laptop’s performance9
Boss of the company I'm working in flew in from Morroco to Paris to discuss what to do about GDPR (yeah today). One of the sysadmin was fired last month and the other barely knows anything. Since I work on system administration as an intern I was expecting some serious work. The meeting with the tech team went on for two hours (which I didn't attend). At the end of it, I went to the only guy in the office who speaks English and asked him, "Hey, so what are we doing about GDPR?".
He replies, "Well, the boss just decided that we're not going to tell the auditors about our offices in two other countries (which is outside Europe and hosts most of the servers)".2
Fucking damn! This program is so poorly built that it's racking up terrible amounts of technical debt. This should be fucking easier than this, but because of how closely coupled everything is I'm now having to suffer through this ungodly beast of code.
I was aiming for a nice top down model where things communicated straight down, but with each additional feature requested by my PM, there are things that are growing increasingly more difficult to build around.
I could rebuild the entire thing, but this is the culmination of 8 months of work!
GOD KILL ME PLEASEEE
Not a rant, just another story about me and the man I'm gonna wife.
We both have an upcoming job interview, and I was just talking about how at our previous internship I was using python to automate some tedious tasks for me.
Me: it's like a general thing, right, to just automate things you don't really want to do
Me: like breathing, and waking up, ya know? I don't wanna do that shit
Him: it kind of already is automated.
Me: *three years of wasted time at med school come tumbling back in to my brain, suddenly recalling the brainstem*
Me: oh, yeah.1
So... I let people around me who see me programing assume what they want to about my abilities, so when they asked if I could hack I decided to play a joke. I said "give me your phone and I'll show you your files and make your phone display a white for a few minutes" (phone was an Android with no lock on it), I do all that as I had an app that closed itself already built for other reasons... They said "cool, now hack that guys Facebook" .... people are gullible...
Jesus, I'm SO fed up with this mindless application of CRUD. This application would literally be less than half its current size if we weren't implementing crud for fucking broken device reports and repair offers, stuff that should have many states, a create action strictly bound to a user type and view/field wise edit phases bound to a state-usertype pair.
Once I wrote a shell script to solve a problem. Then I thought "now I have to rewrite it in a REAL language". So I did it in Go. But then I got bored and left it to rot in my gh. I picked it up again today and made another rewrite, but now in node. What the actual fuck4
So, a few days ago I went on an interview for a position as a web developer, and during the interview they tell me they are thinking about getting into hosting, and that if they decide to do so I would be the one responsible for managing all of it.
I have no idea how to set up web servers, let alone make sure they can handle heavy loads and so on, so I'd be taking on a huge responsibility and workload, along with the task of making websites.
The company consists of 5 designers, and at the moment, no developers, and they have about 30-40 customers, all with sites that would need to be moved to the new hosting platform.
My question to you all is this:
How much does quality hosting equipment cost, and is it really worth it for such a small company to get into hosting, or should they rather look to make a deal with an existing host for some kind of monthly kickback/rebate?
I'm thinking they should find an existing host and enter some kind of partnership, as that would be easier and safer than doing all the hosting inhouse.
What do you guys and girls think?6
Useless pieces of shit
Targeting my dad, fools, he has me 🤡
I'm gonna flood you with fake emails and passwords
So much that you will stop spamming and then I'll continue a little bit, just to be safe
Elsie: -Does that make it a glass half full or glass half empty type of situation?
Bernard: -We're engineers, means, the glass has been manifactured to the wrong specifications....
Gotta love Westworld :)
(Also, damn.. Do those foldable tablets they use look awesome?!)
(Src: Westworld s1 e6 around 5th minute)4
I woke up today to work more on my project. When I looked at my code, this thought ran through my had "What the hell was I thinking yesterday? I don't even drink!"3
>"rm -rf ~/"
>Wonder what the exact name of the file I'm deleting is
>*presses enter multiple times*
>accidentally presses "enter" when the choices are finished
>delete entire home directory
Finally I got the green light to migrate to Git. Now to plan and execute the migration of our ClearCase repo with roughly 1k++ labels and 14yrs of history in the next 6months
Just set the Android studio theme as Dracula. Yuck! Anybody know of a good dark theme for Android studio?3
Forgive me for I have sinned.
I doubted software from India could be as bad as you always hear ... I was proven wrong ... now I have to take the consequences ... an untested, Indian Web-API9
anyone want to review my app? preferably ones with android experience, I want to learn how to improve it and make it as good as possible. message @calmyourtities if you'd like to help a newbie with android :)2
Pretty sure that the code doesn't work on the first run, so I thought why not debug it now? but then when am I actually gonna run it...
Some one just asked me to build his site. I don't enjoy building sites. Especialy wordpress... I have never used it but i don't like it. But It could be a fast cash. What do you guys think?8
WTF... it works half the time and fails the other half.. is it planned just to drive me mad?! uuhhh..6
Damn specs! Why do you have to change as the project goes on?!! Every project seems too easy at first.
I have two managers outside of the bathroom having an impromptu meeting while I'm blowing it up.
...this is what causes psychological complexes.2
I don't exactly know... but i'm preety sure that it was more that 12.
reason - someone's final project which had only 1 day left before the deadline.
"Can you go through this hours-long process to reproduce an issue i saw and debug it? I don't have bandwidth."
"Sure, but I'm pretty sure the issue is actually due to your recent changes in [related feature], and I'm pretty busy myself."
"No, that's not how that works. Please figure out the real issue." (Strongly implying it was my fault)
*Goes through hours-long process to reproduce* (yes this procedure could be improved but this is a rant not a planning meeting)
*Of course, it was his change*
"Oh. Well, it's not really a priority."
Okay, this is quite hard to explain properly, but I'm actually scared of my personal future.
In about a year, I finish school and I don't have a straight plan of what to do next. I want to work independently, preferably as a game dev, but I imagine that to be a hard task. I have thought of doing a bachelor's degree in game development, but the university I prefer to go to costs 20k€, which is a huge sum and I don't even know whether it would be actually worth it. The university states that 20% of all their graduated students work independently afterwards and they even offer you a flexible "loan" (not sure if it's the right term) you can pay off while you start working, but I fear I won't be able to pay it back, I cannot imagine making this much money any time soon after I start working independently as game dev. Additionally I fear I won't be able to keep my motivation up, since I struggle doing so already, on the other hand my lack of motivation could be caused by this toxic environment I live in.
I've also considered doing freelancing, but when I'm scrolling through the requests made, I never find something I am experienced in, I don't know what request is best to get started with freelancing.
I just don't know what to do in the future and I'm scared and considering to go to this university is probably pretty stupid already and I consider it as me ranting myself, because of my nonexisting self-esteem. So I don't know what to expect from this post, I just needed to share.1
It was when i was 4th grade. We had windows 95 computers in school. I used tk do assignments on them and submitted with a floppy disk. Yeah, copy paste started there...
nothing like building a lead generation site in the advertising sector and then running a test through the site with an addblocker turned on.
I'm way past the point of being pissed now....
So there's some software (API's, mobile app + website) that I wrote to manage supplier incentive programs in a big hurry last year - which lead to a bunch of stuff being hard-coded in to launch on time. So after last years promotion was done I took down all the services etc was very fucking clear that in order to finish & deploy it to run again I would need at least around 4 months notice.
On the surface its pretty simple but it has quite a large user base and controls the distribution of enough cash & prizes to buy a small country so the setup of the incentives/access/audit trails is not something to be taken lightly.
Then once I'm done with the setup I have to hand it over to be "independently audited" by 3 of the larger corporate behemoths who's cash it distributes (if I get a reply from one in 3-4 weeks it's pretty fast).
I only happened to find out by chance an hour ago that we are apparently launching an even larger program this year - ON FUCKING MONDAY. I literally happened to over hear this on my way for a smoke - they have been planning it since last year November and not one person thought it might be kinda important to let me know because software is "magic" and appears and works based on the fucking lunar cycle.
Do at your own risk.
- Take a strong magnet, like a neodymium magnet.
- Hold it in your hand.
- Move your hand across a Macbook 15"'s keyboard. Say from left to right or vice versa. Almost touching they keys.
You'll see the screen dimming. If you just hold it there for a little longer, it'll lock your macbook. It's funny, but I am not sure if it's doing some damage to hardware.9
Starts search and replace.
Trys to replace a type in the whole Project.
Syntax Check: lol no, apparently everything is broken now, good job
(literally my whole project was marked red)
(project still marked red)
Syntax Check: lol what? Your code already looked like shit before, won't let you compile this.
It was a bug which breaks the syntax check after big replace requests. Had to start a new project and copy my code step for step, so it didn't break again. However I've forgotten to replace the type before I copy...
Another story regarding this shit:
IDE: oh, let me help you by replacing all old var names with the new one
IDE: oh shoot, didn't know it could break things
Wants to revert
IDE: did you think I would go through this mess again?! Do it yourself!4
A bad dev habit I should unlearn?
How about being too stubborn to take an idea out back and put it out of it's misery. You know what I'm talking about. Got some elegant idea in your head, it looks so pretty and masterful. You begin to implement it but straight away, things start looking pretty fucking ugly. You persist though, and persist.
Sooner or later that pretty idea looks like Donald and Hillary decided to spawn a love child. You close your eyes and grit your teeth, unwilling to put the abomination out of it's misery.
You stop and finally open your eyes to look at what you've done. A hideous beast with Gary Johnson's nose, Bernie's voice. Donald's hair, and Hillary's lips stares back at you. Yeah. Now you've wasted hours upon hours and only have a mistake worse than the 2016 American Presidential Election to speak for it.2
When you google something you saw in a google ad instead of clicking it and feel badass for outsmarting them...2
When you ask your co-worker for help with an issue and while he researches the issue ever so slowly on your computer you see what the problem is but he won't listen and you're to nice to 'dismiss' him...1
User: "help pls! Cant login! Works on my notebook but not on the clients"
Me: "Sure. Have you tried entering your username and password?"
*finally resets password. Problem solved*
It feels so great to check a box from your to-do list... even if it's as little as creating the project file.1
Playing around with a POC I'm doing for work, and it works so well I got an IP ban from one of my favorite websites for a massive amount of requests they got from me
I was about to have a screenshare presentation of a month-long work over Skype...
Hours before the presentation I got bored and upgraded from Xorg to Wayland for some reason the universe doesn't want to disclose...
Tried to call a friend to check if everything is working and the screenshare feature was missing! 😑 I thought Skype fucked up, tried Hangouts, still not working, tried praying to saint Ubuntu to somehow please let it work one time. It did fucking not.
My gosh, 30 minutes before the presentation and I was preparing the whole environment on Windows. I had never felt so stressed in my life! 😰
Investigating after the presentation informed me that screensharing only works on XOrg, not on Wayland.
Worst last-minute decision ever. *#-##-:$;"+3($(!#@/)#9"+(2(#2
Thinking about a doing a small YouTube series about how I would have done specific failed or succeeding pieces of tech, my first would be in windows mobile...
Anyone else able to think of any subjects I could cover?3
16h a day. I was late for a birthday present so I worked on it for as long as I could. It took me 2 months and I was not done in time...
I had eyestrain of death and all this trouble only for a freaking birthday present.
But the present was good, although it was incomplete.2
Have you tried to look up documentation for some module and find another module that better does it? and this loop continues...
My job isn't stressful all the time. Sometimes I'm in meetings and I'm just bored. And sometimes I have a coke to drink. That's pretty nice.
But right now my app is breaking and I don't know why. It either corrupts the heap sometimes or breaks the execution engine sometimes or attempts to write pointers I don't control into protected memory sometimes. Can't reliably reproduce them. And every time I try to debug one it causes the other.
But I do have a Coke.
New startup - our backend stack is php, js, mysql, mongo & redis
Can you guys recommend nice-to-have internal tools that could make out lifes easier? We’ve been using confluence so far and thinking on grabbing a jira license.
Any advice is helpful 🤪11
Today, we can edit comments or post upto 5 mins only to maintain the flow.
But would it make sense to be able to amend comments and post anytime and east way to see publicly the history of edits. This will serve the original purpose while correcting cosmetic changes even after 5 mins.
What do you people think?5
The moment you realize that you don't need more than 100 Points to create an Avatar that looks like you in real life
What's the best team outing you've experienced?
We've been to an escape room before, that was pretty cool. Now I wanna organize something else.1
Well. I'm stressed and a bit sick so let me tell you this you fuckers: I don't want to play in your little mindfucking game where everything is about efficiency, money and who has the biggest dick around.
Usually I'm the idealistic, positive kind of guy who spreads love and lets people do their things as long as they just don't fuck with him.
Right now though, just go fuck yourself in your damn stupid car you fancy fucker because I don't care about your big dick you have to show off on every occasion. I don't give a fuck about your big paycheck or your smart ass. I'm so sick of this industry mouse wheel and modern slavery where it is made extra hard to enjoy our lives and unfold who we really wanna be because some stupid asshead is not able to fill his hollow emptiness with bare love but has to swallow loads of cash instead giving him the craziest form of diarrhea.
Com'on! We kind of tamed the planet. We put so much effort and created a huge system with so many securities and still we are not able to simply live freely, share love, opinions and great ideas. Why is it still so common to define yourself about your projects, paycheck and false effort? Instead of how much good you give to others, how self-consistent you are, how good you treat yourself?
All I want from you is a bit honesty to yourself. How about being nicer to yourself, letting your love unfold for the sake of releasing that love to the world?
For me you will be a hero!
I believe that the personal happiness is influenced not only by your surroundings but mostly how you interact with it. Karma basically. So yeah, normally I'd say you can simply decide to ignore that shit, walk on your path and decide to be what you want to be no matter what dickheads cross your path, but honestly I just had to get that rant out because this ridiculous nonsense makes me so sick right now.
I'm successful right now. I have the privilege to decide on being happy and I know that not everyone has this privilege. I believe, spreading love will also spread this privilege.
That said, have a nice day!4
I'm finally going on vacation, which is good, but I already know there will be many stupid people writing me endless private messages about them being banned or their server not working correctly BECAUSE OF THEIR OWN SCRIPTS and they will spam me like they usually do although I WRITE THEM I'm out of the office but they don't care since they don't have other things to do than COMPLAINING ALL DAY.
Geez okay, I got to calm down, I'm on vacation, don't want *that* to ruin my mood.
It was stupid to ban all those people for breaking the rules today though, should have waited another week, so guess this one is on me.1
Took few weeks break from coding, social media and stuff like that. And holy cow things have changed. Over 9k new rants here, bunch of new js frameworks, Instagram got some security issues..
I'm just amazed.7
Fucking kidding me.. why does it stopped suddenly when i had to show it up? today i was working on a project and my client wanted to see how it is going then i packed my stuff and went there to show him then it stopped to working...
Sat here for 30 minutes trying to find an error a client saw that I fixed earlier (mobile error). After going through everything I could think of, it turns out his browser was just caching... Fml2
I like that the T-shirts for avatars have ones with various programming languages, but could we also get some with 'Smalltalk' printed on them?1
Do you people anything about a processor with a firewall?
Because I just saw an episode of Arrow where they were trying to break into such a firewall!1
I somehow highly doubt the effectiveness of this treatment... if it did work I'm pretty sure we would all have baby faces with the amount of RF signals we're exposed to in a day. Do you think there is any legitimacy to this claim?4
So I am wondering. Am I the only one who finds IBM to be a piece of crap that has slow services? I hate them so much, in that they have added so much time to my work!1
Who the twattrumpet invented friday deploy was a good idea? What not who the horsedesecrating dickbadger tought I will have overdue work because this disgraceful human rudiment who has embryonic fluid inside his puffball head instead of brain thinks it is okay tell me sorry man but I forgot to tell you about the bugs you requested for last week. You know what? I will do it but if you dare to disturb me on weekend becausebyou didn't test whenbI told you I will stick your carcass up your ass!!!
I guess asking my friends for their opinion is part of my workflow and I really shouldn't do, because their reactions tend to be demotivating and frustrating all the time. As if I don't have enough to worry about already.
So I have been recruited to do some IT ish work for a local business. I have been offered a couple of hundred bucks to take a set list of programs off of about 40 pcs. All windows. Sounds like the perfect job for a script, not my specialty. So what might be the best method? Using a batch script to CD to the respective directories and just DEL the folders for the target programs?5
I have nothing to do today. I could go Jack off in the bathroom for 3 hours, then go home and my boss would be proud of my hard work. He told me to leave him alone because he is busy today after I went back 10 time for more tasks. We don't use any issue tracker or anything, and I already commented all the code I have access to(microservices means it is all developed in small stand alone parts and I can only see mine. No repo....). But I get in chewed out if I seem unbusy!!!1
So, I've just received two almost identical offers from two companies. One is a profitable large firm, and the other is a start up that's just been acquired and is yet to become profitable. Both firms or similar tech stacks and will train me on my missing skills.
The differences are that the smaller form has "promised" me a lead position in a few months. I know from experience that future promises like this don't anyways pan out.
At the end of the day, I need the skills and I want to make sure it keeps my CV interesting for the future.
I have to decide in a couple of hours. I need advice.4
Something you really should not do:
*adds a new feature*
*build & run*
*See no difference*
Me: "Hmm.. Maybe 1 is not the best test integer, let me pick something higher..."
*build & run*
*INTEGER OVERFLOW EXCEPTION*
Feel free to share your "let me choose anothee test integer"-stories, which gone terribly wrong.1
I have enough up votes in one of my posts to order stickers. But I feel like I am not worth it yet.
Is this normal?
ugh, trying to click on something (A) fairly close to something else (B) on a site. A is a link, B has frickin hover text
so every time i want to click it goes "oh! you're trying to hover and see this lil pop-up? OK HERE YOU GO!"
earlier i saw LG had a product page with bad text. was missing the "x" in dimesions and just has "62 57.2" or w/e, and the next gen/version's page was fine
love seeing big names have simple mistakes.
and everyone's always so worried how good they need to be to get into w/e field -.-
no one knows what they're doing anyway
Really weird number.
Most probably its marketing call from the telecom operator that revolutionized the tele industry in my country by providing free 4G services asking to subscribe to their service.
Sorry, but i can't afford you.. :/
I'll have to let you go..
Thanks for the last 8 months of free services.3
I would love to reschedule my whole life to live during the cool night time throughout the summer, but I can't because I don't live alone...
Guess I have to feel like garbage for the next few weeks...2
In my company we have some awards that are given to people doing some things for customers and doing it good. There are nominations and so on, this year my friend got one for having good relations with customers, being calm and helping them how he can best. Of course there was written something about his calm, helping others, being patitent (...). But nobody from people that he is helping ever saw him screaming like today before he knew that he will be awarded:
“HOW THE FUCK THOSE IDIOTS CAN BREAK THINGS LIKE THAT, THERE IS NO FUCKING WAY”
And he got award for being calm and patient :D4
If a project's structure is shit, well of course, let's continue using it because "it is known". Doing it any other way "will add complexity".
That I wasted three days making my working code adhere to the clusterfuck of a structure, nevermind that. Let's continue. And yes, colleagues do agree that the structure is shit, though let's improve it ... later.
Or in other words: Suck it up, we always have done it this way. Fuck you and your ill-advised attempts of trying to improve it.
Came into work this week after the holidays and was an email from azure saying unless we redeploy our virtual machines before next week they will do it at midnight utc - which happens to be mid-day here.
No problem I just email our client and schedule a time Friday afternoon where the servers will be unavailable and I'll do it then.
Today (Thursday) azure email and say they are going to just reboot our servers now. I check and the application is not working. Clients start phoning in saying they cant access the system..
I'm so fond of "joe" as the main console editor.
But Arch Linux hasn't it in the repos. Screw you Arch! Keeping Fedora.3
I think this message should start with an aaaaaghhh, but I guess am too sad to do that too.
Everything is going sideways, being a nice person is just a curse.
Nice ? No, i guess being simple is a curse, being stupid is even a bigger curse.
You are a fool because you are not cool . not cool enough to talk bull shit with your college friends and laugh at their ill-logical comments.
You are a fool and an easy target to be laughed at. You are a fool because you have tried so many practical experiments that failed , but you believe them to be the mistakes that made you grow, that made you learn.
These were the practical experiments that will be the point of laughter for everyone, even after years, in public. And now you will be mocked for thinking differently.
Nobody ever thanked you for the practical experiment , where you stood out of this stupid group of audience , talked to the guy at the college gate , and helped their fucking asses get in...
Nobody will ever thank you to help cancel a boring lecture for free attendance, or the 100th proxy you made for them, or the notes you shared.
Yet everyone remembers the day when you said to the examinar "no, it's a oop practical, don't ask c++ related questions, i had python as a subject in class 12th, not c++" (which is not even funny)
When the college shit cracks me up , i can do nothing but be quiet about it. And deep inside it feels like am controlling my fuckin tears. And the sadness in college leads to even stupider turn of events on the way home.
Today my ping caught me off-guard once again, but I will stop this madness for all eternity! Writing the ultimate ping tool, so I never have to fear high ping ever again.. well I cannot fix my f*cking internet provider, but my ping tool can warn me, even if it detects only the slightest inconsistency!
But first I have to figure out why my tool doesn't output the ping...
I just love when I correct 20 little bugs, and always with that "Ah!! Of course!" feeling, before finding the little ';'...
This one time I managed to rm -rf my whole prestashop folder with custom modules and work in progress theme, none of which were on github... And I did that on Windows
Any disposable e-mail address service:
"FIGHT THE SPAM"
"THANK YOU FIGHTING THE SPAM"
"YOU DID GOOD BY FIGHTING SPAM"
The users of disposable e-mail address:
*creates another spam account*
*creates another multiaccount in order to exploit a system*
Companies actually fighting spam:
Now there is even more spam to fight against. (which is not good)
About 2/3 of the accounts created daily on our website are spam accounts. We have to waste our time with this shit instead of actually improving our services. Since we do not track IP-Addresses and there are countless amounts of disposable e-mail domains AND there is still the option to create countless spam e-mail addresses within legit e-mail providers, there is no easy way of stopping this madness.
"Fight the Spam", you could start by deleting your shitty service or at least give us a list of all the domains you're using, srsly.
😤 So I just got a flat tire at night and have incomplete set of tools to change a tire. Good thing my father helped me. It was tiring and gruesome. I suspected someone intentionally did it in the parking lot beside the mall.😡
I'll buy tomorrow a crocodile jack and complete set of tools. Also, I will practice more on changing tires because my father did not teach me and I just learned through self study. But self study isn't enough, gotta practice some more. I hope you will get some lesson to my mistakes.
"No, the Client doesn't like stored procedures so we have done all our TL parts of the ETL using a bunch of views on top of views on top of views."
Wish I could have been here at the start so I could have pushed back, sigh.
Siiiggghhhh, yet the client is anal about performance and even consistency in SSIS packages.....siiiggghhhhhh but we dont have SHOWPLAN permissions or even sp_who2 access...siiiigggghhhhhh.
If i expanded one of the final views, would be like 1k lines. For the amount of data, we move, there shouldn't be any noticeable processing time but it can take anywhere from 10mins to an hour.2
I was changing the PEI sheet on my 3D Printer and in the process I manged to also destroy the temperature sensor😭.
I was trying to order a new one and internet went down too. I also have school tomorrow so I need to go to sleep.
😣I need the printer for a thing I have to deliver in 5 days.
Guess I'll have to take the sensor from another bed (hopefully without destroying this one too).
I don't know why people are complaining about windows updates while they can stop the update service from service manager. I did that wile I was using windows.
Moral of the story: I use linux. 😜
Teaching coworkers performance tuning, we have the memory enough that you don't need to write to disk... Really the data isn't Even a MB....
I know my development skills are getting better because I am having more people pitch me ideas....to many ideas...1
TL;DR Jump to the bottom, putting question first seems strange.
I got 2 servers sharing 1 external ip, i use one server for x y z and the other for a b c, so they dont use the same ports.
I got told i would need 1 dedicated ip per server, and i refuse to believe that since everything works fine. However, some things would definitely be alot easier having an ip per server.
So, does anyone have experience with getting an additional ip for your home connection?6
Instead of using MySQL, I zipped a bunch of json files... It's fast, but definitely not reliable, I was young and stupid, I should finally getting started with mySQL, srsly.2
I think this has been asked for before but I think it would be cool to add polls to our rants. Even if rsnts with polls are confined to their own section or something. I think this would benefit the devRant team too, as I know they like to collect statistics on strange things about the dev community.
Vote if you think this is a good idea.... Wait... 🙃
Getting started with my dissertation project for my degree. Using Java and Dropwizard for a backend service with a nice iOS client in Swift. Will make such a refreshing change from hacking crappy eForms together with jQuery and an Objective-C native bridge.
What is ploymorphism??? Im new to oop, and wanna learn more abt it. Preferably in examples from pascal or cpp.15
today is exactly the first month I started learning programming. But, I have always wondered, how is a language created? and why people willingly painstakingly learn new language when its not widely used?2
They want you to listen but they never give a shit about what you're talking themselves. This is why I have quit most of my friendships and practically replaced them with devrant, not sure if it was a good idea in the long run though...2