3 shades of Java developer.

An incident which made a Security Researcher cry
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I was working on my laptop finishing up my code while waiting for the flight which was late . Meanwhile two guys (I'm gonna call them Fellas) in black suit and shades came to me

Fella : Sir you have to come with us .
Me : *goes along with them*
Fella : Sir please proceed *points towards the door . The room has a round table with some guys discussing something *
Fella 1 : Your passport please
Me : *Hands over the passport*
Fella 1 : Where are you traveling to sir?
Me : India
Fella 1 : Put your laptop in the desk sir.
Me : Sure thing
Fella 2 : What were you doing there? *Taps the power button*
Me : Just finishing up my work .
Fella 1 : Or hacking our systems?
Me : Seriously?
Fella 2 : The password please .
Me : Here you go
*5 minutes have passed and​ he still can't figure out how to use the machine*
Fella 2 : Which Windows is this?
Me : It's Linux
Fella 1 : So you are a hacker .
Me : Nope
Fella 1 : You are using Linux
Me : Does it matters?
Fella 1 : Where do you work?
Me : *I won't mention here but I told him*
Fella 2 : So what do you do there?
Me : I'm a Security Researcher
Fella 1 : What's your work?
Me : I find security holes in their systems .
Fella 1 : That means you are a hacker .
Me : Not at all .
Fella 2 : But they do the same and they use Linux .
Me : You can call me one .
*After 15 minutes of doo-laa-baa-dee-doo-ra-ba-doo amongst them I dunno what they were talking , they shutdown the computer and handed over it to me*
Fella 2 - So you are somewhat like a hacker .
Me - *A bit frustrated* Yes.

##And now the glorious question appeared like an angel from river ##

Can you hack Facebook?
Me - 😭😭😭

Making my Sass variables...

Sassa Grey

SFW version of '50 Shades of Grey'

I don't get 50 shades of grey.

They should have called it: "256 shades of gray unless you're on 10bit HDR, then its 1024 shades of grey"

That would have made much more sense

When a designer thinks about the Fifty Shades of Grey :

#272727, #282828, #292929, #2b2b2b, #2c2c2c, #2e2e2e, #313131, #323232, #343434, #353535, #373737, #393939, #3a3a3a, #3c3c3c, #3f3f3f, #404040, #424242, #444444, #454545, #474747, #484848, #4a4a4a, #4b4b4b, #4d4d4d, #4e4e4e, #505050, #515151, #535353, #565656, #575757, #585858, #595959, #5b5b5b, #5c5c5c, #5e5e5e, #616161, #626262, #646464, #656565, #676767, #6a6a6a, #6b6b6b, #6c6c6c, #6d6d6d, #6f6f6f, #727272, #737373, #757575, #767676, #777777, #7b7b7b, #7c7c7c, #7d7d7d, #7e7e7e, #808080, #818181, #838383, #868686, #878787, #888888, #898989, #8b8b8b, #8c8c8c, #8e8e8e, #919191, #929292, #949494, #959595, #979797, #9a9a9a, #9b9b9b, #9c9c9c, #9d9d9d, #9f9f9f, #a0a0a0, #a2a2a2, #a5a5a5, #a6a6a6, #a8a8a8.

UI Designer : please make the border under the title a lighter shade of grey

Me : How much lighter?

UI Designer : I'm not sure... I'll know it when I see it. Just try a few shades out.

Me: *tries a lighter shade* Is this okay?

UI Designer : No! Now it's too light.. Make it juuuust a little darker.

*This goes on for two hours back and forth*

Me : ....... (╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻

50 shades of RJ45

Programmers 50 shades of grey...!!

Assembly Programming is a misunderstood and tragically underutilized form of self-abuse.
While the ladies were off reading "50 Shades of Grey," I was reading the ARM ISA documentation.

Manager: Please make that text in plane white.

FullStackClown: Oooo, that's a tough one. What's plane white?

Manager: Are you serious? You literally don't know what the color white is?

FullStackClown: Well sure I know what white is, but I'm not sure what plane white is, there are dozens of airliners, and I'm sure they all have slightly different shades of what they are using for their light color in branding...

Manager: ...

FullStackClown: ...

" I want to show you my playroom "

"You want to play to your xbox ? "

" No . . . "

[50 shades of C]

Might help front-end devs!

Hello World!

It's the middle of June and I'm already 10 shades lighter than anyone else I know.. #devproblemz

I am a terrible designer. When i say terrible i mean my designs for website somehow always manage to look like an ugly piece of shit.

Halp?

Proof that I code.

Because nothing says "security" like some good ol' Base64 encoding. Bet whoever wrote that code was wearing mirror shades.

I am calling this a premonition rant, of more rants to come.
I have a feeling in my bones.
We have a newly acquired fat cat customer with bucks to blow who we have done some digital work for already and swag bag of marketing perkiness.
I will call the CEO of this whale "The Porcupine"
The Porcupine has a business degree and industry experience, nothing to do with websites or applications.
It claims to be a visual perfectionist yet never delivers an overall coherent review.
It likes to fixate on minor brand style differences in websites and apps we have built.
The Porcupine seems to be always busy with policy and legal and other things rather than participating in their own projects.
Procrastination on feedback or reviews until the day before release is common.
Many overtime hours worked, not a sliver of thanks. The haughty attitude indicative of somebody who thinks web development is like desktop publishing.

"It's just code" in response to a crash production server change they were warned was a risk that borked all of our responsive templates and took 3 hours to fix.
Their entire brand is shades of pea green, grey and lime. No serif fonts because they are suck. Arial and Helvetica are boss.
One of my devs missed a CSS style on privacy policy hyperlink text that went times new roman and I had various account directors and our CEO on phone telling me how embarrassing it was for us to let this happen.
Anyway. They pay on time and the cost estimates for all the upcoming work are juicy.
We have shitloads going on for an upcoming hard date conference and everything is already compressing.
Therefore I can already smell doom and feel those porcupine quill getting closer to my ass as I beg their AD today if we have any feedback on the 10 or so project reviews yet?
Nope.

It looks like "Fifty Shades of Gray" is a popular color palette among frontend designers.

Protip: always account for endianness when using a library that does hardware access, like SDL or OpenGL :/

I spent an hour trying to figure out why the fucking renderer was rendering everything in shades of pink instead of white -_-

(It actually looked kinda pretty, though...)

I'd used the pixel format corresponding to the wrong endianness, so the GPU was getting data in the wrong order.

(For those interested: use SDL_PIXELFORMAT_RGBA32 as the pixel type, not the more "obvious" SDL_PIXELFORMAT_RGBA8888 when making a custom streaming SDL_Texture)

Note to self:
Fifty shades of gray is not about CSS or any other subject you care about. Delete mental association so as not to react like Pavlov's dog every time you hear/see title mentioned in mass media.

Squirrel!

thanks wine, now my text can be teal blue, pea green or piss yellow instead of shades of gray like it's supposed to be

So I agree with some arguments against using dark themes but only because they all seem to be about white text on black, but I would never use that as a dark theme... (who would?) Dark shades are where it's at! Take devRant itself as an example.

I had a hockey accident where the hockey stick hook caught me in the eye and among many other things, tore my iris to the point that the doctors couldn't stitch it (something about cutting being reparable but tearing not :/ )

Luckily with some exercises, it healed a lot in its own but still let's in about double the light it should. Since then, black on white for more than a few hours will, without fail, give me a migraine. But then so would white on black, too much light allowed in means that white on black give an almost blurry effect on the characters. Hence, colour shades for the win :D

Just my 2 cents ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Webtoon's app finally brought out a dark theme, but unfortunately it's too dark.
Like, it's the wrong shades and hurts eyes. 😕

does anyone else purposely make separate commits and push to make their commit history darker shades of green? I think as new developer I have a disorder and bad habit.

My God is map development insane. I had no idea.

For starters did you know there are a hundred different satellite map providers?

Just kidding, it's more than that.

Second there appears to be tens of thousands of people whos *entire* job is either analyzing map data, or making maps.
Hell this must be some people's whole *existence*. I am humbled.

I just got done grabbing basic land cover data for a neoscav style game spanning the u.s., when I came across the MRLC land cover data set.

One file was 17GB in size.

Worked out to 1px = 30 meters in their data set. I just need it at a one mile resolution, so I need it in 54px chunks, which I'll have to average, or find medians on, or do some sort of reduction.

Ecoregions.appspot.com actually has a pretty good data set but that's still manual. I ran it through gale and theres actually imperceptible thin line borders that share a separate *shade* of their region colors with the region itself, so I ran it through a mosaic effect, to remove the vast bulk of extraneous border colors, but I'll still have to hand remove the oceans if I go with image sources.

It's not that I havent done things involved like that before, naturally I'm insane. It's just involved.

The reason for editing out the oceans is because the oceans contain a metric boatload of shades of blue.
If I'm converting pixels to tiles, I have to break it down to one color per tile.
With the oceans, the boundary between the ocean and shore (not to mention depth information on the continental shelf) ends up sharing colors when I do a palette reduction, so that's a no-go. Of course I could build the palette bu hand, from sampling the map, and then just measure the distance of each sampled rgb color to that of every color in the palette, to see what color it primarily belongs to, but as it stands ecoregions coloring of the regions has some of them *really close* in rgb value as it is.

Now what I also could do is write a script to parse the shape files, construct polygons in sdl or love2d, and save it to a surface with simplified colors, and output that to bmp.

It's perfectly doable, but technically I'm on savings and supposed to be calling companies right now to see if I can get hired instead of being a bum :P

How many of you wear shades at work?

I started doing it after I faced some problems due to the extremely bright lights. It's such a complicated problem that no one in the management or admin team can do anything about it. 🙄

A customer requested the graphic drafts for a website with a serious design. He left me the complete freedom. After six shot down including three drafts inspired to important designers and one inspired to material design, I decided to make something absurd asking the customer his favorite colors. I am ashamed to have created a design with shades of green, white, orange and yellow on a green background. He said it was fantastic.

It is so awkward to watch 50 shades of grey movie and coding at the same time. Especially when the **** part someone pass by and watch it with you.

That someone is my CTO . He paid me RM 200 for the pass him the movies. Sounds like I have a new business.

So anyone need the movie , it is just 200MYR... 😂😂😂😈

Actually he can get it from torrent. But why?

I love gulp
Gulp loves me, but it looks like in 50 shades of gray

1) Learning little to nothing useful in formal post-secondary and wasting tons of time and money just to have pain and suffering.

"Let's talk about hardware disc sectors divisions in the database course, rather than most of you might find useful for industry."

"Lemme grade based on regurgitating my exact definitions of things, later I'll talk about historical failed network protocols, that have little to no relevance/importance because they fucking lost and we don't use them. Practical networking information? Nah."

"Back in the day we used to put a cup of water on top of our desktops, and if it started to shake a lot that's how you'd know your operating system was working real hard and 'thrashing' "

"Is like differentiation but is like cat looking at crystal ball"

"Not all husbands beat their wives, but statistically...." (this one was confusing and awkward to the point that the memory is mostly dropped)

Streams & lambdas in java, were a few slides in a powerpoint & not really tested. Turns out industry loves 'em.

2) Landed my first student job and get shoved on an old legacy project nobody wants to touch. Am isolated and not being taught or helped much, do poorly. Boss gets pissed at me and is unpleasant to work with and get help from. Gets to the point where I start to wonder if he starts to try and create a show of how much of a nuisance I am. He meddle with some logo I'm fixing, getting fussy about individual pixels and shades, and makes a big deal of knowing how to use GIMP and how he's sitting with me micromanaging. Monthly one on one's were uncomfortable and had him metaphorically jerking off about his lifestory career wise.

But I think I learned in code monkey industry, you gotta be capable of learning and making things happen with effectively no help at all. It's hard as fuck though.

3) Everytime I meet an asshole who knows more and accomplish than I do (that's a lot of people) with higher TC than me (also a lot of people). I despair as I realize I might sound like that without realizing it.

4) Everytime I encounter one of my glaring gaps in my knowledge and I'm ashamed of the fact I have plenty of them. Cargo cult programming.

5) I can't do leetcode hards. Sometimes I suck at white board questions I haven't seen anything like before and anything similar to them before.

6) I also suck at some of the trivia questions in interviews. (Gosh I think I'd look that up in a search engine)

7) Mentorship is nigh non-existent. Gosh I'd love to be taught stuff so I'd know how to make technical design/architecture decisions and knowing tradeoffs between tech stack. So I can go beyond being a codemonkey.

8) Gave up and took an ok job outside of America rather than continuing to grind then try to interview into a high tier American company. Doubtful I'd ever manage to break in now, and TC would be sweet but am unsure if the rest would work out.

9) Assholes and trolls on stackoverflow, it's quite hard to ask questions sometimes it feels and now get closed, marked as dupe, or downvoted without explanation.

This is gonna get someone illogically upset, but idc about that.

I know it's ignorance of semantics but I'm tired of propagated ignorance changing the meaning of things.

Non-binary is NOT a legitimate term for whatever 'gender' you are!

I get what *whoever-started-it* was going for, but it's NOT valid. If you want to say that youre not male or female, fine... just don't abuse binary systems to do it. Just say youre non-bool/anti-boolean or identify with one of the, apparently 50, shades of gray.

I keep getting into logical loops to nowhere about this nonsense. No one is even defining what's supposed to be the 1 vs the 0. Which then makes me think '1 must be male... genitalia=1 in many ways...' which then sources back to the historic validity of males vs undervalued/less than human interpretations of females...

Then <brake>.
Ofc these people aren't going into the historical significance... they don't even realise how binary works! Ofc they'd have no clue that all 0s= no data... and 0s only have significance when viewed in placement to the 1s.

Let's all start using proper terminologies, like non-boolean. Maybe i can start a trend by paying people pennies to learn/teach wtf a boolean value is, and that binary can represent anything. With proper encoding the array is limitless... so being binary is actually a giant spectrum... therefore makes no sense to be "non-binary".

Ok... im done. It had to be said.

Who wants to start identifying as non, or educating wtf is, boolean with me???

50 shades of Go - Developer version of porn

Laziest habit? Anything done between 1pm-4:30pm and 4:59pm-8pm. During that time, habits include unnecessary refactoring, poking the CI/CD containers, editing already made prototypes in gimp inkscape, pasting stackoverflow topics to youtube, bouncing from macOS, windows and kde distros in search of zen/rice, adding a calendar emoji on my slack :), making useless automation scripts, building on every variable's value change, tinkering pixels, shades, gradients (and their angles), dimens, anim values, anim curves, opacity, blurs and just nuking the ui just to copy paste an old one, 60% just chatting in code alongs, changing key bindings (from ide to OS), and ultimately zoning out on a podcast about cyber security. And of course: waiting for ++ and comments

And now I was working on this button for the client's website. The button was all nice with white text over dark blue background.

Until the client happened!

and he was like...

Hey, just put the text in RED and change background colour to more lighter shades of red!

well...

WHAT THE F***K MAAN!?!?

How on Earth these guys survive? or probably others are the one's surviving them 😑

Alright, which one of you freaky “IT Programmers” is it that spoke with Vice? 😂

real story. In high school, a librarian (women) recommended me a book. I read it in classroom, it was fine for the first half and then.... the real story began.

It was 50 shades of grey.

It's been about 4 years. I'll soon be completing bachelors. And I've yet to return the book, out of shyness.

10pm. Mouse battery dead. Need to code. I'm using Unified Remote as a trackpad. 😎

women: 72 shades of red lipstick

men: 11.2gigs of node modules

I got my current job in the most standard manner,
1. Saw an ad for the job in the local newspaper.
2. Called the boss and had a chat with him. He sounded nice and the job sounded interesting.
3. Submitted my application and resumé
4. Boss called and we set up an appointment for an interview.
5. Met with boss and HR, had a cup of coffee and an interview.
6. Boss called and told me I'm one of two, and that he would like me to do a DISC personality analysis.
7. Met with HR and did the analysis, a bunch of questions that I answered as thoroughly as I could.
8. Boss called and said, congrats! Can you start next month? Yes, I could and it's been more than three years since :)

To make a boring story a bit more funny: Half-way through my first day, I noticed my zipper was open =:O And today I'm wearing two exactly identical socks...save for the colour, different shades of grey on left and right foot. Hush, don't tell my colleagues, maybe they won't notice ;) Well, I guess it's alright as long as I'm not wearing nothing but underwear, or being butt naked, like in some nightmares.

I don't know why, but the backrooms sound, e.g. the generic transformer hum, is so soothing to me. Call me crazy, but oh how I want my room, and maybe my entire apartment, to resemble a 2000's office. Think cs_office map, but for real!

I know it's probably because of my childhood, but I constantly feel like I'm being watched. Not just watched, but at any time a vague authority figure will rush into my room and make me do things because I'm long overdue on everything for some reason.

This notion somehow completely falls apart when I'm inside some office, the closer to 2000's in aesthetics, the better. I don't feel comfortable in luxurious interiors, or in Hygge-inducing Scandinavian interiors, or at "home" (I have no feeling of home). But 2000's office is my anxiety's kryptonite.

My dream is to have a cubicle at home. And that the door to my room should have that thing that automatically closes it. And the lock made by Abloy. Old office-style carpeted floor. Vertical metal shades. And let this paradise drown in soothing 60 cycle hum.

Fuck javascript, pice of shit can't be learned without reading 50 shades of books and even SO solution don't work.
why for fuck sake there is no easy way to create module in another pice of shit vue js

And fuck devRant for not being able to paste images directly. I'm done! bullet in the head!

trial 1: is not a function
trial 2: is not a function
trial 3: is not a function
trial 4: is not a function
trial 5: is not a function
trial 6: is not a function
is not a function
is not a function
is not a function
is not a function

I was looking through some shader videos and wanted to see how hard it is to write one, and after some research I am now confused.

Are shades just basically fancy filters like black and white filters and those shitty Snapchat colour filters or is there a particular trait with shaders that diffferes them from filters that I am missing?

I always thought that shaders were all about ray tracing/marching and obtaining the effects that way.

The joys of being a multi-project, multi-language developer! You think you'll juggle a couple of balls, but suddenly you're in a full-blown circus act, with chainsaws, flaming torches, and a monkey on your back yelling "more features!"

In the morning, you're all TypeScript: "Yes, of course, types make everything more reliable!" By lunch, you're neck-deep in Python and realize types are a vague suggestion at best, leaving you guessing like some bug-squashing mystic. And then just when you’ve finally wrapped your head around that context switch, FastAPI starts demanding things that make you wonder, "Why can’t we all just get along and be JavaScript?"

Oh, and don’t even get me started on syntax. One minute it’s req.body this and express.json() that. The next, Python’s just there with a smug look, saying, "Indentation is my thing, deal with it!" And don’t look now, because meanwhile, Stripe’s trying to barge in with a million webhooks, payment statuses, and event types like “connect” and “payment,” each a subtle bomb to blow up your error logs.

Of course, every language has its "elegant" way of handling errors—which, translated, means fifty shades of “Why isn’t this working?” in different flavors! But hey, at least the machines can’t see us crying through the screen.

Sorry, I can't hear you haters with my shades on