Join devRant
Do all the things like
++ or -- rants, post your own rants, comment on others' rants and build your customized dev avatar
Sign Up
Get a devDuck
Rubber duck debugging has never been so cute! Get your favorite coding language devDuck
Buy Now
-
An incident which made a Security Researcher cry
--------------------------------------------------------
I was working on my laptop finishing up my code while waiting for the flight which was late . Meanwhile two guys (I'm gonna call them Fellas) in black suit and shades came to me
Fella : Sir you have to come with us .
Me : *goes along with them*
Fella : Sir please proceed *points towards the door . The room has a round table with some guys discussing something *
Fella 1 : Your passport please
Me : *Hands over the passport*
Fella 1 : Where are you traveling to sir?
Me : India
Fella 1 : Put your laptop in the desk sir.
Me : Sure thing
Fella 2 : What were you doing there? *Taps the power button*
Me : Just finishing up my work .
Fella 1 : Or hacking our systems?
Me : Seriously?
Fella 2 : The password please .
Me : Here you go
*5 minutes have passed and he still can't figure out how to use the machine*
Fella 2 : Which Windows is this?
Me : It's Linux
Fella 1 : So you are a hacker .
Me : Nope
Fella 1 : You are using Linux
Me : Does it matters?
Fella 1 : Where do you work?
Me : *I won't mention here but I told him*
Fella 2 : So what do you do there?
Me : I'm a Security Researcher
Fella 1 : What's your work?
Me : I find security holes in their systems .
Fella 1 : That means you are a hacker .
Me : Not at all .
Fella 2 : But they do the same and they use Linux .
Me : You can call me one .
*After 15 minutes of doo-laa-baa-dee-doo-ra-ba-doo amongst them I dunno what they were talking , they shutdown the computer and handed over it to me*
Fella 2 - So you are somewhat like a hacker .
Me - *A bit frustrated* Yes.
##And now the glorious question appeared like an angel from river ##
Can you hack Facebook?
Me - 😭😭😭32 -
When a designer thinks about the Fifty Shades of Grey :
#272727, #282828, #292929, #2b2b2b, #2c2c2c, #2e2e2e, #313131, #323232, #343434, #353535, #373737, #393939, #3a3a3a, #3c3c3c, #3f3f3f, #404040, #424242, #444444, #454545, #474747, #484848, #4a4a4a, #4b4b4b, #4d4d4d, #4e4e4e, #505050, #515151, #535353, #565656, #575757, #585858, #595959, #5b5b5b, #5c5c5c, #5e5e5e, #616161, #626262, #646464, #656565, #676767, #6a6a6a, #6b6b6b, #6c6c6c, #6d6d6d, #6f6f6f, #727272, #737373, #757575, #767676, #777777, #7b7b7b, #7c7c7c, #7d7d7d, #7e7e7e, #808080, #818181, #838383, #868686, #878787, #888888, #898989, #8b8b8b, #8c8c8c, #8e8e8e, #919191, #929292, #949494, #959595, #979797, #9a9a9a, #9b9b9b, #9c9c9c, #9d9d9d, #9f9f9f, #a0a0a0, #a2a2a2, #a5a5a5, #a6a6a6, #a8a8a8.5 -
I don't get 50 shades of grey.
They should have called it: "256 shades of gray unless you're on 10bit HDR, then its 1024 shades of grey"
That would have made much more sense9 -
UI Designer : please make the border under the title a lighter shade of grey
Me : How much lighter?
UI Designer : I'm not sure... I'll know it when I see it. Just try a few shades out.
Me: *tries a lighter shade* Is this okay?
UI Designer : No! Now it's too light.. Make it juuuust a little darker.
*This goes on for two hours back and forth*
Me : ....... (╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻23 -
Assembly Programming is a misunderstood and tragically underutilized form of self-abuse.
While the ladies were off reading "50 Shades of Grey," I was reading the ARM ISA documentation.2 -
" I want to show you my playroom "
"You want to play to your xbox ? "
" No . . . "
[50 shades of C]
6 -
I am a terrible designer. When i say terrible i mean my designs for website somehow always manage to look like an ugly piece of shit.
Halp?21 -
Because nothing says "security" like some good ol' Base64 encoding. Bet whoever wrote that code was wearing mirror shades.1
-
Applies to: instructions, signs, traveling to new locations, arriving on time, etc.
1. Always read the documentation before asking questions.
2. Ask for clarifications as soon as possible.
3. Never underestimate the complexity of a task even when it looks simple. (traffic)
4. Always test the current application before adding a new feature. (shortcuts, baggage, companions)
5. Never trust everything the previous developers say about their code. People forget. See for yourself.
6. No, you will not remember what this part does. Take notes, write comments, docstrings, and give objects reasonable names. (that hookup has a name and is someone's child)
7. Get things working way before the deadline. (check-ins)
Applies to: talking to people, being precise, etc.
8. Don't turn the method definition into an essay.
9. Break things down into smaller pieces, if possible.
10. Avoid misspellings. The computer may not get confused but the next developers will.
Applies to: communication, relationships, etc.
11. Be considerate.
12. People in higher positions make mistakes too.
13. Communicate. Don't expect people to read your mind and don't assume you have all the information you need.
Applies to: utensils, sex toys, compatibility, sexual preferences, etc.
14. Don't do random hacks just to make something work. If it's not the tool for the job, use something else. Wasabi doesn't make a good lube.
15. Product owners and users don't always know what they want. ;)
16. Stop being an asshole unless you have lubes and da hole tyt.
17. Be assertive, not aggressive but spank and choke me anyway.
18. Consider each sprint as a sport. You may have almost killed each other during the game but keep it civil after. (violent love-making)
19. Don't burn the bridge when leaving. Someday, they can refer you to a better job or you can refer them and get money out it. (hookups and prostitutes)
Applies to: beliefs, religion, obsessions, hobbies, etc.
20. Programming languages are not cults. Same with IDEs, tech stacks, etc.
21. Use linters. (check yourself)
22. Be aware of your own bias especially when testing and debugging your own code. (reflect)
23. Being antisocial does not make you a better developer. Stop romanticizing it. (delusions)
Applies to: life in general
24. Be patient. You'll get out of the maze. You always do.
25. Stop blaming inanimate objects for your code not working. Behind every inanimate object is a person responsible for the failure. Most of the time, that person is you. If not, talk to the person and solve the issue.
26. Take breaks.
27. Keep learning new things.
Applies to: negotiation, transactions, relationships, etc.
28. Always send documented proof of requirement changes. (50 shades of grey contract, ew)
Applies to: sex
29. Write tests. Test your tests. Testes. Testicles. Tentacles. Testicular cancer.
30. Hostility never results to productivity. Wank it out, get back to work, and stay calm. (doms in BDSMs are gentle creatures)5 -
Protip: always account for endianness when using a library that does hardware access, like SDL or OpenGL :/
I spent an hour trying to figure out why the fucking renderer was rendering everything in shades of pink instead of white -_-
(It actually looked kinda pretty, though...)
I'd used the pixel format corresponding to the wrong endianness, so the GPU was getting data in the wrong order.
(For those interested: use SDL_PIXELFORMAT_RGBA32 as the pixel type, not the more "obvious" SDL_PIXELFORMAT_RGBA8888 when making a custom streaming SDL_Texture)7 -
I am calling this a premonition rant, of more rants to come.
I have a feeling in my bones.
We have a newly acquired fat cat customer with bucks to blow who we have done some digital work for already and swag bag of marketing perkiness.
I will call the CEO of this whale "The Porcupine"
The Porcupine has a business degree and industry experience, nothing to do with websites or applications.
It claims to be a visual perfectionist yet never delivers an overall coherent review.
It likes to fixate on minor brand style differences in websites and apps we have built.
The Porcupine seems to be always busy with policy and legal and other things rather than participating in their own projects.
Procrastination on feedback or reviews until the day before release is common.
Many overtime hours worked, not a sliver of thanks. The haughty attitude indicative of somebody who thinks web development is like desktop publishing.
"It's just code" in response to a crash production server change they were warned was a risk that borked all of our responsive templates and took 3 hours to fix.
Their entire brand is shades of pea green, grey and lime. No serif fonts because they are suck. Arial and Helvetica are boss.
One of my devs missed a CSS style on privacy policy hyperlink text that went times new roman and I had various account directors and our CEO on phone telling me how embarrassing it was for us to let this happen.
Anyway. They pay on time and the cost estimates for all the upcoming work are juicy.
We have shitloads going on for an upcoming hard date conference and everything is already compressing.
Therefore I can already smell doom and feel those porcupine quill getting closer to my ass as I beg their AD today if we have any feedback on the 10 or so project reviews yet?
Nope.4 -
thanks wine, now my text can be teal blue, pea green or piss yellow instead of shades of gray like it's supposed to be
22 -
Note to self:
Fifty shades of gray is not about CSS or any other subject you care about. Delete mental association so as not to react like Pavlov's dog every time you hear/see title mentioned in mass media.
Squirrel!
3 -
does anyone else purposely make separate commits and push to make their commit history darker shades of green? I think as new developer I have a disorder and bad habit.7
-
So I agree with some arguments against using dark themes but only because they all seem to be about white text on black, but I would never use that as a dark theme... (who would?) Dark shades are where it's at! Take devRant itself as an example.
I had a hockey accident where the hockey stick hook caught me in the eye and among many other things, tore my iris to the point that the doctors couldn't stitch it (something about cutting being reparable but tearing not :/ )
Luckily with some exercises, it healed a lot in its own but still let's in about double the light it should. Since then, black on white for more than a few hours will, without fail, give me a migraine. But then so would white on black, too much light allowed in means that white on black give an almost blurry effect on the characters. Hence, colour shades for the win :D
Just my 2 cents ¯\_(ツ)_/¯1 -
How many of you wear shades at work?
I started doing it after I faced some problems due to the extremely bright lights. It's such a complicated problem that no one in the management or admin team can do anything about it. 🙄15 -
A customer requested the graphic drafts for a website with a serious design. He left me the complete freedom. After six shot down including three drafts inspired to important designers and one inspired to material design, I decided to make something absurd asking the customer his favorite colors. I am ashamed to have created a design with shades of green, white, orange and yellow on a green background. He said it was fantastic.3
-
1) Learning little to nothing useful in formal post-secondary and wasting tons of time and money just to have pain and suffering.
"Let's talk about hardware disc sectors divisions in the database course, rather than most of you might find useful for industry."
"Lemme grade based on regurgitating my exact definitions of things, later I'll talk about historical failed network protocols, that have little to no relevance/importance because they fucking lost and we don't use them. Practical networking information? Nah."
"Back in the day we used to put a cup of water on top of our desktops, and if it started to shake a lot that's how you'd know your operating system was working real hard and 'thrashing' "
"Is like differentiation but is like cat looking at crystal ball"
"Not all husbands beat their wives, but statistically...." (this one was confusing and awkward to the point that the memory is mostly dropped)
Streams & lambdas in java, were a few slides in a powerpoint & not really tested. Turns out industry loves 'em.
2) Landed my first student job and get shoved on an old legacy project nobody wants to touch. Am isolated and not being taught or helped much, do poorly. Boss gets pissed at me and is unpleasant to work with and get help from. Gets to the point where I start to wonder if he starts to try and create a show of how much of a nuisance I am. He meddle with some logo I'm fixing, getting fussy about individual pixels and shades, and makes a big deal of knowing how to use GIMP and how he's sitting with me micromanaging. Monthly one on one's were uncomfortable and had him metaphorically jerking off about his lifestory career wise.
But I think I learned in code monkey industry, you gotta be capable of learning and making things happen with effectively no help at all. It's hard as fuck though.
3) Everytime I meet an asshole who knows more and accomplish than I do (that's a lot of people) with higher TC than me (also a lot of people). I despair as I realize I might sound like that without realizing it.
4) Everytime I encounter one of my glaring gaps in my knowledge and I'm ashamed of the fact I have plenty of them. Cargo cult programming.
5) I can't do leetcode hards. Sometimes I suck at white board questions I haven't seen anything like before and anything similar to them before.
6) I also suck at some of the trivia questions in interviews. (Gosh I think I'd look that up in a search engine)
7) Mentorship is nigh non-existent. Gosh I'd love to be taught stuff so I'd know how to make technical design/architecture decisions and knowing tradeoffs between tech stack. So I can go beyond being a codemonkey.
8) Gave up and took an ok job outside of America rather than continuing to grind then try to interview into a high tier American company. Doubtful I'd ever manage to break in now, and TC would be sweet but am unsure if the rest would work out.
9) Assholes and trolls on stackoverflow, it's quite hard to ask questions sometimes it feels and now get closed, marked as dupe, or downvoted without explanation.3 -
I fucking hate interacting with monolids. They are the most inconsiderate scumbags in the world and I absolutely hate working with them. They are noisy, they act like they own the place, and they overcompensate for the lack of eyelids, penis, and body hair by being total assholes to every goddamn stranger they come across.
I'm part Chinese myself but damn, fuck these people, throw in the Koreans too especially the hardcore opinionated virgin gamers with micro SD slots as eye holes. Fucking pieces of shit, motherfucker. No one makes my blood boil and evaporate as much as you cunts do. Even at work, the airline company had to make changes to their applications to have some sort of rating system for agents who book flights in bulk and then cancel them last minute.
And all these programmer and gamer maggots are sooooooo opinionated and so desperate to roast any random stranger on the internet that just having a nice conversation about a topic isn't possible because they will jump into the conversation and judge people's characters based on what they use/play. If someone doesn't want to use/play what they're using/playing or is having second thoughts because of some bad reviews, they mock you for not being an "independent" thinker. Okay, China.
I'm all for dirty, dark, racist, and all kinds of offensive humor but damn, some people can't see the difference between an opinion and a fact. They hear what you say, misinterpret it to the fucking extreme, and boom "You don't like this game I like, therefore you are not an independent thinker." Every time, I encounter an asshole like this, I search for what they look like and it's always the famous incel face that comes in all shades or the typical "All the white bois stole my chinky hoes, now I'm gonna be hostile towards anyone because there's no way I can dominate with my lipstick cock."
They lack basic reading comprehension but they have all the courage to start a fight like a fucking moron. Usually, I'd let it pass but I just can't this time. As soon as I called him out on it, I get a bunch of DMs from people saying he's a dick but no one has ever told him he was until I did. We'll see how this fucker fights. I know it's childish but fuuuuuck, the target location of the new plague is too goddamn accurate. Thank you, Satan. Hail, you.
As our client always say, "The Chinese, they are shitty shitty people."38 -
Me after a colleague screwed me over at work, wasted my entire day, insulted me, and tried to make smalltalk to appease his guilt and shame after he realized he was in the wrong:
"Fuck this guy. Fuck that guy. Fucking fuck. You're all shit. Fuck all of you. I want to die."
Me, two hours later, after a workout and mood is lifted:
"Hmmm.. I'll fuck this guy, that guy, that woman over there, this chick over here. That black dude, that white dude, that Asian chick, that whatever that is. I'd fuck them all and we'll live fuckily ever after." -
And now I was working on this button for the client's website. The button was all nice with white text over dark blue background.
Until the client happened!
and he was like...
Hey, just put the text in RED and change background colour to more lighter shades of red!
well...
WHAT THE F***K MAAN!?!?
How on Earth these guys survive? or probably others are the one's surviving them 😑3 -
I got my current job in the most standard manner,
1. Saw an ad for the job in the local newspaper.
2. Called the boss and had a chat with him. He sounded nice and the job sounded interesting.
3. Submitted my application and resumé
4. Boss called and we set up an appointment for an interview.
5. Met with boss and HR, had a cup of coffee and an interview.
6. Boss called and told me I'm one of two, and that he would like me to do a DISC personality analysis.
7. Met with HR and did the analysis, a bunch of questions that I answered as thoroughly as I could.
8. Boss called and said, congrats! Can you start next month? Yes, I could and it's been more than three years since :)
To make a boring story a bit more funny: Half-way through my first day, I noticed my zipper was open =:O And today I'm wearing two exactly identical socks...save for the colour, different shades of grey on left and right foot. Hush, don't tell my colleagues, maybe they won't notice ;) Well, I guess it's alright as long as I'm not wearing nothing but underwear, or being butt naked, like in some nightmares.1 -
I was looking through some shader videos and wanted to see how hard it is to write one, and after some research I am now confused.
Are shades just basically fancy filters like black and white filters and those shitty Snapchat colour filters or is there a particular trait with shaders that diffferes them from filters that I am missing?
I always thought that shaders were all about ray tracing/marching and obtaining the effects that way.2
Top Tags
Weekly Rant
View