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When you have a super annoying problem that Google has been unable to help with... But you stumble upon a link with the exact title matching your issue... And clicking on it gives you a 404.
15 -
Oh my god... Storytime.
A customer comes in with I assume is his father or grandfather.
Customer: I need a computer, but without all the internals
Me: So a case?
Customer: Yes, I need a Dell computer outsides, but without the internal components.
Me: Well, we don't have Dell cases, but we sell custom build cases and they come with a power supply.
Customer: *says nothing, but looks interested*
Me: *walks over to the cases to show him* So this is what the cases look like and we have two types, one for a ATX and one for a micro-ATX.
Customer: *still says nothing, but looks at them*
Me: What motherboard do you have at the moment?
Customer: Well, I don't have anything right now, but I'm replacing another computer that didn't work very well. I'm going to be getting some Dell parts to put in here.
Me: O-okay. So this other computer, I'd like to see it in shop to see what's going on with it.
Customer: Oh, you do NOT want to do that. I hooked it up to another computer and it blew it up.
Me: Huh, that's weird. I'd still like to look at it if possible.
Customer: Oh no, it's all wired wrong and... *some bullshit, but stay with me*
Customer: I am the best at technology. My hand has computer parts in it--government funded. *some more bullshit*
Me: Okay... *I try to bring it back around* Well, I'd still like to see the other computer for myself. So you don't have parts for this new build yet, right? You don't know what type of motherboard you have?
Customer: No.
Me: Well, I would get the internals first, so you know what size of case to get, and then get the case.
Customer: Okay. Thank you for your time.
He shook my hand with his "cyborg" hand and I was tempted to say something about "try not to crush my hand," but elected not to. Also during this entire exchange, the old man continuously farted in the background.24 -
When I was in the army I wasn't officially a dev. But one commander needed someone to develop a bunch of stuff and couldn't get a dev officially, so I ended up as his "assistant", which was an awesome job with about 60% time spent on software development.
Except I wasn't an official developer, so I wasn't afforded many of the privileges developers get, like a slightly more powerful machine, a copy of Visual Studio, or an internet connection. In this environment you couldn't even download files and transfer the to your computer without a long process, and I couldn't get development tools past that process anyway.
So I was stuck with whatever dev tools I had pre-installed with Windows. Thankfully, I had the brand new Windows XP, so I had the .Net framework installed, which comes with the command line compiler csc. I got to work with notepad and csc; my first order of business: write an editor that could open multiple files, and press F5 to compile and run my project.
Being a noob at the time, with almost no actual experience, and nobody supervising my work, I had a few brilliant ideas. For example, I one day realized I could map properties of an object to a field in a database table, and thus wrote a rudimentary OR/M. My database, I didn't mention, was Access, because that didn't need installation. I connected to it properly via ADO.NET, at least.
The most surprising thing though, in retrospect, is the stuff I wrote actually worked.15 -
So a fucking friend of mine makes me meet this fella who is a big shot according to his LinkedIn and please note has too much experience with Web Apps and Python
Me being naive actually trusted that and I meet him.
Fella: So what do you do?
Me: I am into Cyber Security nothing much I just do bug hunting for now
Fella: You know python will help you right?
Me: Sorry?
Fella: You see you have to be a python programmer for anything you want to do in CS
Me: Me yeah I kinda know python actually I am more into Ruby from start so ( Around this time I kinda sensed that he is a fake tech guy he is a corporate asshole)
Fella: show me any of your work
Me: (So to show him one of the thing I was working on I open GitHub desktop app) Me explaining blah blah blah
*Fella is in shock*
So at this point I was thinking probably he is impressed and that's why the shock right?
No a big fucking no
Apparently he never heard about GitHub or git and got blown away by the interface.
And the friend who made me meet that guy is not my fucking friend anymore that prick can die for ruining my day18 -
So the first hackathon I attended my team and I came stone last. So while we wait for the awards I have 3 beers to drown my sorrows (I am a 2 beer guy so I was already feeling it)
We go into the ceremony and there were not enough chairs at a table for my team, so I end up sitting at the winning teams table. Let's just say I adopted a bottle of wine.
A wine bottle down I am feeling super drunk. I told myself "no more booze" ... Then the tequila's started rolling. I must have been quite visibly drunk because the other people at the table were giving me more to drink. Eventually I was like "I am ok, I am ok"
I wake up 2 days later on the floor of my bedroom at my parents house. Apparently this is what happened after the tequila's:
I decided to have an awards ceremony of my own and hug EVERYONE, apparently one judge did not enjoy his drunken hug very much (lol). Then I threw up in the hotels courtesy car, and also ran backwards into their bushes.
A buddy of mine took me home, but was to scared to face my parents, so he dumped me (now asleep) on the my parents driveway, rang the bell and buggered off, leaving my parents to drag me inside.3 -
I was building a personal website and my friend oversaw it. He said “that looks cool, can I help?” I agreed, why couldn’t he help? Ten minutes in I asked him if he liked our 404 page. He said “what’s the link to the 404 page?” 🤦♂️ He’s not on the team no more.3
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I once asked my database teacher whether he is certified on any database system or not and he said if I was then why would I be a teacher !!!3
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I'm planning to put this comment somewhere in our code for the future developers to see.
/**
لقد اتخذت القرار الخاطئ بالتقدم إلى هذه الشركة. اترك الآن قبل فوات الأوان. أنا المطور السابق وحياتي أصبحت بائسة. البيروقراطية ، السياسة ، تأخر الرواتب ، عدم الابتكار. أسوأ رمز رأيته حتى الآن.
**/
Edit: Too late, I already did. git commit . git push
Time to update my CV :) any job openings you can recommend?
12 -
I joined a "multi-national" company in middle-east where 90% of the developers are Indian. And since it's a "multi-national" company with 50+ developers I thought they already figured it out. Most of them have 5-10 years of experience. They should know at least how to use git properly, deployment should be done via CI/CD. database changes should be run via migration script. Agile methodology, Code Review - Pull Request. Unit testing. Design Patterns, Clean Code Principle. etc etc
I thought I'm gonna learn new things here. I have never been so wrong in all my life...
Technical Manager doesn't even know what Pull Request is. They started developing the software 4 years ago but used Yii v1 instead which was released almost a decade ago. They combined it with a VueJS where in some files contains around 4000 lines of code. Some PHP functions contain 500+ of code. No proper indentions as well. The web console is bloody red with javascript errors. In short, it's the worst code I've seen so far.
No wonder why they keep receiving complaints from their 30+ clients.11 -
Worst error message management.
Can't you just display the valid pattern for an username instead of showing different error message everytime.
If plain ASCII and only letters and numbers same for them, just show only letters and numbers, and
what's that hourly limit.
I just couldn't sign up after wasting time thinking of an username.
6 -
The worst kind of bugs are logical ones, they go undetected, no error, no alert, and when you notice them, it's too late.3
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So today was the worst day of my whole (just started) career.
We have a huge client like 700k users. Two weeks ago we migrated all their services to our aws infrastructure. I basically did most of the work because I'm the most skilled in it (not sure anymore).
Today I discovered:
- Mail cron was configured the wrong way so 3000 emails where waiting to be sent.
- The elastic search service wasn't yet whitelisted so didn't work for two weeks.
- The cron which syncs data between production db en testing db only partly worked.
Just fucking end me. Makes me wonder what other things are broken. I still have a lot to learn... And I might have fucked their trust in me for a bit.13 -
When your boss sends you 25+ screenshots and messages via SMS at 11pm of issues he's found on a Sunday night... Why can you not just email it to me in the morning9
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My worst experience is, that I was fired after the third week in a new job. I worked then for a really small company.
My supervisor didn't like me and just wanted me out.
He asked for feedback and new ideas. I provided good reviews.
I even gave the company really good ideas, didn't get any credits for it, but they have implemented them now. Never got any credit for it.
I can look back and say that my supervisor then was a douche and wanted to kill off a young guy with a bit more technical knowledge and a vision.
For me it's in the past...
Now I got a way better job at a really gigantic company, better pay, much better work with better working times, a very friendly and helpful team, which appreciate my feedback and effort.
Sometimes it needs to get worse, to have later something better.
Now I can enjoy my new job and go everyday with a smile in my face :)4 -
My co-worker not only doesn't create unit tests, he comment out my own unit tests after he changes the code and the test breaks.11
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Worst CMS: Joomla.
Worst IDE: Eclipse.
Worst language: Python 2. (Python 3 brought many improvements to many annoyances there)8 -
#include<iostream>
#include<getch()>
....
Yes, he was our OS teacher and he was trying to write a C++ program.3 -
Today a potential client contacted me after seeing my works and said they were really interested in having me work on their project. Then, they demanded that I scheduled a call with them, using their calendar app. I did, just to them cancel it a few hours later. Without any explanation.
Deal with people is so discouraging sometimes.2 -
Voice commands are the future!!!! .... God I hope not... Why do people like this obviously inferior interface?
A real conversation with Google assistant while driving, I got a text:
"Read text"
...
"Read text message"
*You have one text message from Dave. Would you like to hear it?*
"... Yes!"
* Hey what's up?*
"Reply"
....
"Reply to text"
*I don't understand*
"Text Dave!!!!"
"Message James using SMS. What's the message?"
GAH!!!!!!!! fuck you Google assistant! This is literally the only thing I use you for, so stop being so fucking bad at it!!!!11 -
The story of the shittiest, FUCKING WORST day of work.
TLDR: shitty day at work, car crash to end the day.
So, let tell you about what could possibly be the worst day I had since I started working.
This morning, my alarm didn't work, woke up 30 minutes before an appointment I had with a client.
Arrived late at the client, as I start deploying. They don't have any way to transfer the deployment package to the secured server. Lost 45 minutes there.
Deployment goes pretty well. My client asks me to stay while they load some data into the app. Everything's pretty easy to work out. Just need to input 3 CSV with the correct format (which the client defined since the beginning).
I end up watching an Excel Macro called "Brigitte" (I'm not fucking kinding, could'nt have thought of that) work for 4 hours straight. Files are badly formatted and don't work.
Troubbleshooting thoses files with a fucking loader that does not tell you anything about why it failed (our fault on that one)
I leave the client at 7:30pm, going back at work, leave at 9pm.
At this point, I just want to buy some food, go home and watch series.
But NO, A FUCKING MORRON OF A BUS DRIVER had to switch lanes as I was overtaking him. Getting me crushed between the bus and the concrete blocks.
Cops were fucking dickheads, being very mean even tho I was still shaking from the adrenaline.
In conclusion, the day could have been worst. The devs at the clients are pretty cool guys and we actually had some fun troubleshooting. At work, there was still one of my colleagues who cheered me up telling me about his day.
And when I think of it, I could have got really hurt (or even worst) in the crash.
A bad day is a bad day, tomorrow morning I'm still going to get up and go to a job I love, with people I love working with.
Very big rant (sorry about that if someone's still reading)9 -
2 things I can not understand.
1)how my programming works.
2)what the fuck this new update of what's app about??? A status? fuck!
Worst update ever. Fuck I can not handle videos and photos of people who sends useless messages. Fuck!! 😫😫😫😫
6 -
Marketing for Developers done RIGHT!
<!-- Hey Payoneer Its better to hire me... im better in posting ads on fb and more better in writing codes -->
6 -
Best 2017: that’s a tie:
- refinding devRant and feeling like this is the place I was missing from my life!
- getting to the end of the year with a stable and complete project, bring on next years insanity!
Worst: still working ( minor routine tasks ) during my annual leave! -
If you ever get an idea for an OpenCV project: shoot yourself in the foot, drink some bleach, do whatever it takes to get it out of your head, because it will all be less painful than the python docs for cv2.3
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Fucking fuck fuckity keyboard autocorrect on windows (and on osx): NO FUCKING THANK YOU, FUCK OFF, STOP FUCKING AROUND WHILE I WRITE
I turned off fucking autocorrection on windows 10, I write an email in french, and every word that has a similar spelling in english gets autocorrected FUCK YOU OUTLOOK, FUCKING RESPECT MY FUCKING SETTINGS, YOU FUCKING PIECE OF CODED SHIT PILE OF SHITWARE
So much time lost correcting and recorrecting.
Oh, also: a phone is a fucking phone, a computer is a fucking computer, not the same device, not the same behaviours, fucking get that you fucking companies10 -
Motherfuck! God I hate xcode worst development environment ever conceived! Have to update it right now to be able to push to my device. Fucking appstore is the worst program ever. How about telling your users what the fuck is going on instead of just sitting there displaying a flash load circle. Gaaaaaahhh I wanted to go home 2 hours ago. Fuck you apple and all you stand for may you rot in the deepest crevices of he'll for all eternity! Fuuuuuck7
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just received an email about a "hiring tournament", didn't know that was a thing... soo disgusting
"Hello John
How are things going in your career? Are you interested in remote work, at challenging projects in big companies such as Google, Pinterest, Udemy, eBay, and groundbreaking startups within a warm and continuous improvement environment?
BairesDev is holding an exciting hiring tournament, an online competition where you will fight against other developers for the chance to get hired and win incredible awards with the opportunity to be a part of great projects. We would love to see you there!
It will take place on Saturday, November 28th" (but the image says 12th 🤪🤪)
So you are "fighting" other developers for the chance to get hired, what the heck
13 -
Worst Jira ticket I've ever seen:
Title: "It looks f#?$ed"
Description: ""
This gem was opened by the project producer. When asked about it, it was just a mismatch in text margins. -
Interviewed for a Q&A position.
Found bugs and errors on the test questions just fine.
Found broken assets and errors within the test itself outside of the questions. (Misspellings, typos, broken images, botched styling, etc.)
Didn't get hired because they thought I'd spend too much time finding bugs.
What gives?7 -
A long time ago, I've started my journey into web development. Discovered HTML, CSS and was great, then it came WordPress.
As a self taught developer I thought this was an awesome way to develop sites quicker, didn't really knew any better and, for all I did at the time it was fine.
Then I discovered .NET and MVC, I was amazed (I kinda love the MVC pattern)
Then it came Laravel, really really liked working with it, felt free to develop isntead of focusing on mundane stuff
Last week a client came by, requesting a site for his business, he wanted all sorts of custom stuff, but he needed it in WordPress because that is what he knows how to use.
After three days of dealing with "the WordPress way" I'm seriously considering doing the whole thing in Laravel and style the admin to look like WordPress. I feel like wrestling a 500 pound gorilla, geez, why do every little feature has to be implemented in such an unnatural way.
I'm grabbing a hook but to hang myself on it5 -
Best:
- survived 2020 and all its woes.
RIP those that didn't.
- delivered a major project this year that felt like it never wanted to end.
Scope creep.... nope, scope realignment kills the soul.
- hired a competent dev!!! 🥳 Not being a SoloDev is a weird feeling!
- pay rise during a pandemic, that was a nice touch.
Worst:
- dealt with several useless contractors and ended up redoing most of the work myself.
- don't lie to me when you say you *can* do something, only to throw yourself into a complex rabbit hole you can't dig yourself out of.
- major project took 500% longer then originally scoped - it was only meant to be a tight 6 weeks, not an excruciating never ending list of changes and rebuilds 🤯
good thing I get paid regardless - but I don't think the burnout was worth the while.
2021:
- let's see what the world has on offer to try and burn me out of existence this time! -
Decided to work from home today to get some solid work done, and I now get a fucking guy with a leaf blower right outside our place!
😒😡1 -
Wondering why I haven't received deposit for new job yet. Check for signed quote and contract... Yep, both there. Look I account program to see when I sent invoice.....
I haven't sent it yet!
I'm a dick!1 -
I can't begin to know where to start. I once worked with a lady that was annoyed by me for stretching and began to start nagging at me for it. I promptly explained to her that hearing her complaints annoyed me as well and that I stretched and yawned because my work made me sleepy due to the fact that I had to listen to her relentless and incessant nagging.
I currently work with a "graphic designer" of 25 years experience who had no idea that color picker tools were an actual thing in real life. He's been eyeballing our brand colors for years. SMH... We collectively refer to him as Captain Colorpicker now.
This same guy had never used a credit or debit card in his entire life to purchase a meal at a restaurant.
I worked with a micromanager that constantly reminded me daily of the hierarchy for decision making in the company and where you stood firmly under her thumb. That is until she conveniently wanted shy away from a tough decision. Then it was all on me.
She was the marketing director and every single one of these stupid titles:
http://memeburn.com/2013/05/...
I am in a company as a shareholder with a partner who threatened to take away my shares on several occasions when I don't agree with him. At the time our company was in debt, capital accounts were low, and we were hemorrhaging money to keep afloat. The dumbass tried to offer me $200 per share to "buy me out." The company was $5,000 in the hole and my shares were worth around -$11 each. He never had that much money. -
Dear Java library developers. The javadoc is not an excuse to not write documentation.
Signed,
a very annoyed golang developer -
I was working on a new feature for this legacy project.. Just minding my own buisness then all out of the blue I got an email from our client (before the email I exported the live database because I needed to reproduce a weird bug) saying the sync stopped working
<backstory>
The database needs to sync every 15 minutes because it has a master-master relationship with a 3rd party database..
</backstory>
So I was like shiiit! Did I do that!? So I checked the logs, nothing... I called the 3rd part to check if they have problems, nothing.. Then I checked the network logs... Again all fine... 30 nervous minutes later, I got a new mail... Saying it finally synced... Still have no clue what happened or if it ever was a problem... God damn clients man... -
It all started when I commited my server password without noticing...
TL;DR: Reinstalled the server, delete + recreated the git repository 😢8 -
* Makes popcorn*
*Finds comfy chair*
So guys, what's the worst piece of crapy software you've used.
I'm taking dibs on windows update15 -
Worst meeting:
Trying to decide which front end JavaScript framework to use.
Debated about Knockout, Angular, React, etc.
Decision: Too fat frameworks, DIY using jQuery. I wonder how big and unstable is our DIY framework. Is it even a framework? Just few organically written script files.6 -
@dfox - Idea for weekly rant - worst candidate that showed up to a job interview.
Had a solid resume, claimed to be a Java king, top notch. First question after he sat down: How to create a thread-safe singleton in Java using double-checked locking?
Guy didn't know the answer. - NEXT!14 -
I hate AMP sites so much. Fuck you Google! I'm not living in some third world country, nor do I use a decade old smartphone. And even if so, it's none of your fucking business what I do with my bandwidth!!
Just give me the real website, instead of downgraded shit!!1 -
I am pretty much a designer.
I hope I didn't give others bad experiences~
Oh well I always loudly rant and get insulting when I see comic sans (in wrong usage) or ugly websites (not old or weird but old looking AND overdesigned 😓).
Probably that's what's most annoying when you're talking about me as a designer.5 -
people say games (e.g. shooter) make aggressive.
The only that makes me aggressive when gaming is my internet ._.1 -
A customer requested the graphic drafts for a website with a serious design. He left me the complete freedom. After six shot down including three drafts inspired to important designers and one inspired to material design, I decided to make something absurd asking the customer his favorite colors. I am ashamed to have created a design with shades of green, white, orange and yellow on a green background. He said it was fantastic.3
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A continuation of the worst idiot that I worked for, in possibly the worst project of the world. ( The guy who said youtube watching doesn't cost data, downloading the videos offline does)
Guy sends me a template for a patent application.. I ask him why, and he's all secretive until he takes me into a meeting with the patent officers of the organization to reveal his grand plans.
Here goes his idea. He wanted to file a patent for a sonar made for large vehicles in India. His idea was that people in India are used to overtake busses while they turn and they are overrun by the large vehicles. True to some extent but a completely overkill solution for a minor issue that could be solved by educating the masses. I try to explain this to him, and he's pissed off. Starts throwing random, made up stats at me saying 2000 people die everyday on every street. I'm like WHAT??? I look at the patent officer, and he gives me that "don't look at me dude, I'm just here for any questions about the patent process" look. He's busy doodling in his notebook while I try everything possible to invalidate the stupid idea my client has barfed all over the meeting room and the attendants. I even bring out the technical challenges leaving aside the practicality of the nonsense. I asked him how to distinguish between a pedestrian, a parked vehicle, a dog, a cow.. To which he responds with an on the spot thoughtless answer. Heat signatures!! In 5 minutes we went from sonar to heat maps in a tropical country such as India.. He now wants a hybrid solution.
He was about to start yelling when I caved in on the condition that I want nothing to do with the idea after I finish the patent application.. Made up some document and sent it to the asshole, only to never hear about it again.. Thank god for that.. R&D my ass..7 -
Guys! Let’s have a contest.
I need a new name for a new journal for my new thoughts. Deep thoughts.
Person who best chooses a name that is fitting (maybe nerdy too) gets a ++ and a screenshot of my handwriting.20 -
Fucked up.
Reviewed a code and gave ship it for a colleague's code change.
In a single day, got high severity ticket cut to the team.
I am done. Not going to do anymore code reviews. I suck at it.3 -
! RANT
Yesterday I went to pool campus recruitment drive and there were 3 rounds
1. Written aptitude test
2. Group Discussion
3. F2F interview
Cleared first round and got selected for second round out of like 80 students. (15-18 got selected)
Went to group discussion first topic was "Donald Trump Administration is threat to IT for Indian or not" and the all were saying he stopped giving visa to Indians, there is no opportunity for us there because of him and I was like wtf... And they think because of Trump, Indian people from Infosys got kicked out hahahaha wtf is this.
Second was how AI and Digitalization can help in growth of nation.
And again those girls hahahah one girl said by using AI we can make new technology and can explore galaxies. What the fathafucking fuck!!
And YES THEY GOT SELECTED.
(Whole HR team was non technical)5 -
This week was one of those weeks were it feels like it's never ending
Monday, delayed trains and the legacy project's new update went live
Tuesday, not a lot of work so I did some self study (best day of the week)
Wednesday, again train delay, and some funny little sh*t ripped the valve from my bike... I mean sure if you let the air out, haha little fun but completely removing the valve? That's just f'n low...
Thursday, the legacy project had a weird bug that I can't reproduce but has to be fixed before the end of this week...
Friday... To be continued... I hope it will be a quiet quick and easy day... 😟3 -
first was with people who wanted to host a hackathon. no one even coded a simple hello world application. not even tried to google it with the free internet access available. second time was only one other developer and myself with a bunch of people wanting to claim their fame. pitching alot of ideas but none wanted to do the hard graft.
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if (smart === false) {
system32.delete();
} else if (smart === true) {
system32.DEMOLISH();
}
MUAHAHAH5 -
Project manager: "What is a micro service? I'm dating a girl and she mentioned it and I want to impress her."
Me: "Well, you have monolithic services which tend to serve many different functions whereas a micro service tends to serve a single function or a few related functions. They are usually easier to scale and can be optimized to be faster. Still, right tool for the job."
Project manager: "Oh nice! So I can ask her 'Hey, want to see my micro service? It's quick and scalable.'"
-face palm-
He's leaving this week. I'm going to miss him though.
Seriously though, in that context, would scalability mean you're bringing friends?4 -
I need to add new feature into the program which I wrote years ago so I start digging up the source code. The project is written in a language which I no longer code in.
That code is really poorly written with most of them don't have tests. I also find out that previous self is really a genius since he can keep track of huge project with almost no documentation.
To make matter worst, there are unused components (class,feature) in the source code. "Current me" have a policy of "just adding only a feature you need and remove unused feature" but it seem the "previous me" don't agree with the "current me".
The previous me also have the habit of using writing insane logic. I can remember what particular class and methods is doing but I can't figure out the details.
For example one method only have 5 line of code but it is very hard to figure out what those do.
The saving grace is that he know the important for method signature and using immutable data structure everywhere.
I was under the influence of caffeine and have a constant sleep deprivation at the time (only sleeping about 4 hour every day) so I can't blame him too hard.
I can't blame him too hard, right?
Could someone invent a time machine already? Invent time machine not to save the world but to save the developers from himself.5 -
RSA is the best. It's so secure it even keeps me out of my laptop most work days!
</Sarcasm>
Fml how am I supposed to get any work done like this....1 -
Best: take a job as a data analyst. 1 year later, re-write and re-deploy the entire backend following correct security concentions and well-hashed-out data models.
Worst: attempt to backup a hard drive using dd, just to accidentally brick the laptop (because it had some security layer the school put to prevent just that)
Bestest: use knowledge acquired at my "best" story to nuke windows on bricked laptop. Then extract the leftover data using dd and a series of recovery tools. -
Argh!!!! I'm too dumb to compare two spreadsheets. I want to know which of the 2000 employees left or joined the company since last year. But the employee spreadsheet db export is not in the same order as the last years. Is there any bash shell magic or something else than excel that could help me?12
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Wouldn't call it a feature. More like worst practice. Data manager (and my boss at the time) kept using our website as a way to host large files 3rd party vendors/partners could download instead of using one of the many secure transfer methods out there to send them data. This was sometimes extremely sensitive data. No authentication or security that I could find. I went ballistic on him after seeing that.
-
developer oriented saas? well yeah, you could've at least develop a decent SDK for one language, or just let people send JSON payloads instead of XMLs..a**holes
-
When you try to make a customer support ticket on a website and it redirects you to a page that says "site is under construction" after you submit a well-composed form that took considerable time to write up:
(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻
That's fucking genius. Someone give them a Nobel prize. >.> -
So I just finished a group project for a database class, it's an open project and we made a website that is basically like rate your professor. We spent tons of time on it and the website is finally settled. But that's not the point, I won't put the URL here, I just wanna say:
I fucking hate php. Fuck it.
Just fuck it
5 -
!Worst, being put on the project a day before release
!Best, finding and fixing all the data model issues before release, so that the next time I have to pull stats about the system, everything actually makes sense, as all foreign keys and indexes would be explicitly defined for once.5 -
I was told I have to integrate my current project for my current group with my first group's baseline. W/e. As long as I get paid.
Well the issue is, I haven't been with that group in a year and a half. And their product, I now realize, is terrible. I better get a great fucking performance review. -
I cannot fucking code without music. I just cannnot fucking focus without music. And this goddam fucking Spotify webplayer keeps crashing. I need to reload the site multiple times for it to work again. And of course this resets the already played songs, so the random queue keeps playing the same songs over and over. But today it is even worse. Every time I get the music playing again, IT STOPS ONLY FIVE SECONDS LATER! This corporate proxy we have always causes me problems. I couldn't get docker running without ordering a special proxy account so it can pull images from the official repo. It took them almost TWO WEEKS to get the fucking account credentials to my desk! Jegus! Yes, the companie site is big, but it really isn't even nearly that big to justify this joke of a delivery time. It would have been ok if they told me to pick them up at zbe account management, but no of course that wasn't an option... This sucks...2
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Fuck, I always thought writing websites for Internet Explorer was hard. But have you ever tried to escape Facebook Messenger's dark mode?! That shit is wild. Completely ignoring any settings specifically targeting dark mode and instead fucking up the entire color scheme. Even google, apple and other simple black and white sites are getting ass raped by this shit. WTF.1
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My face learning Android in class, when being answered with "I don't give a shit" after asking how to do the program with best practices.
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My worst habit(?) is probably loving to "waste" time, making api uri builders.
so I can chain a couple of methods instead of just typing out an uri :p -
I heard everythinc bad goes to hell... So internet ex'lorer surely did... But why is the hell hot then??? I thought IE frezzes all the time :/
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How to download anything in Kiwix flatpak version?
I only get a Javascript alert with "Error: download failed." whenever i click the "Download" button next to an item in the library.
Also: Why are desktop versions almost unusable these days.
Are devs not owning desktops anymore?!4 -
I believe that I have found the worst feeling in the world.
Not when a push to production on Friday fails. But when a few of your teammates don't want to do JACK FUCKING SHIT. The worst ones are where they think you fabricated projected expenses for raspberry pies, and thus believe that you are apart of some communist conspiracy.
They also believe that cheap AWS ec2 instances are crappy for teaching some basic fucking command line and git to high schoolers!!
I feel like a need a brick handy at all times just to chuck it at a wall. -
when you get mad at your dumb mac laptop and 777 your user directory because apple does dumb things with permissions.1
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I knew concurrency is *bad*, but *that* bad‽, just shocked: https://blog.bugsnag.com/bug-day-ra...2
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Best: Built an awesome web app and received much.
Worst: For some reason Christmas brings out the worst in boss. Possibly Krampus in disguise. Will investigate further. -
til recurring reminders have a lower interval limit of 4 hours. this 500 server error wasn't very specific about that.1
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This semester in college we're supposed to learn some machine learning using mostly Matlab. The first laboratories (technically the second, but the first we actually do something) we're learning basics of Matlab.
We were given an instruction PDF that talks about assigning variables, creating functions and classes, and some basic operators.
A the end of the instruction are exercises, but the thing is, they require knowledge of a lot of Matlab functions, like linspace, reshape, random numbers, vectors and matrices, but it does not tell anywhere about then or how to use them.
An example: exercise 4 tells us to read docs about 'ezplot' and plot sin^2(x).
Then, exercise 5 tells us to generate a 100 element linear space for -2pi to 2pi, calculate the sigmoid value of each point and plot it.
The professor looked personally offended that we had no idea what a sigmoid is and that we were all struggling to calculate it. He almost shouted at us for trying to use ezplot (which we assumed is what we're supposed to use based on exercise 4) instead of regular plot do visualize it.
I fucking hate this kind of professors.
Also, the real fuckfest is in the last exercise. I'll try to translate it to English as close as I can:
Create a 100 element vector of random positive integers and then save it as a matrix with the amount of rows equal to the amount of unique values in the vector and 100 columns and then for each element of the original vector encode it's value in the form of 1 in the field whose index equals the value of that element increased by one.
Yes it's all in one sentence, and no, nowhere in the instruction does it say how to do any of that.
Also, we have a test about all of that tommorow and I don't think anyone will pass it2 -
At my work we have this most generous benefit, free lunch and one hour lunch break. There's one little catch though, our lunch coupons only apply in one of two restaurants. Which one, depends on weekday. Mondays and Thursdays we go to this worthless place called Kvarter 5. Today our one-hour break was a complete waste of time as the food never arrived. GRRRR!!! I get grumpy when I'm hungry! :( I waited patiently for 50 minutes and then gave up, demanding my lunch coupon back, and had lunch at Sagulthai (thai buffet, tasty food, ready to grab with no need to wait). Some of my colleagues staid until the food eventually arrived. They told it wasn't worth the wait. The salmon was burnt and the chicken salad rather bland. Heck no, from now on I'll skip free lunch two days a week. There are so many better restaurants in town, like all of them2
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Working on sidebar css to make it nice and all.
Saving file and looking it through browser, didn't look well.
Changed css, saved, looked again.
Nothing changed.
Repeated process.
Same god damn ugly sidebar!
Deleted css code, saved, refreshed.
THE SIDEBAR STILL THERE.
5 minutes just stared code and looked for bug.
After few moments, found that I had linked wrong(old) css file.
*went full mad*
#summary
#i am stupid(cats) -
What is your worst project you have worked on ?
Ans) my self, I have worked on CMS project called as Ellis pathway, which is my ever worst project I have worked on. It was developed on the language called omnimark, have you by any chance heard about it ?. Moreover it was used to process XML and the worst nightmare would when XML is 500mb and it is not valid after process. I have spent shit lot of hours fixing XML manually.. I literally fucked my self there. Thank God I somehow managed to quit and move on. -
Joined a new team at work hoping to learn something new. Was told by the team lead that they will be starting development on a new project that I was interested in.
Guess what it was all a fucking lie. I'm assigned a task to create documentation for some legacy java shitcode without any fucking comments.
Fine I get it, they say it's required going down the road of the new project as it will work alongside the old application. But the code is so fucking bad. For starters
-The db host and credentials are hard-coded in a million places
-it stores user credentials in plain text
-its creating files in the fucking filesystem to store things instead of storing it in the db
-each functions ranges from 100 to 8000 lines of code
Who even codes like this 🤯
And I can't fix these issues. All I need to do is document every function and class and package. Fine. Fuck this shit -
Just had the worst time ever. Tried to register to a web portal of my ISP. Couldn't even get to the dashboard. It randomly redirects back to login page. Doesn't save info. Asks for info already given in the profile when I try to add my connection and then says info doesn't match with what's in the profile.. WTF!!! I just copy pasted it from the profiles info page. :/ just gave up after trying for the 50th time. I just can't understand how someone could design something with this level of shitty user experiance.
I would just like to say fuck you to the assholes who designed that worthless portal. :/ -
Just what is life
1st I love developing Web Apps
2nd I hate when it has bugs (Always does Everyone does)
3rd More hate for Security related bugs
So I started bug hunting so that even I can make developers hurt I thought I might find peace here
But here we fucking have SQL Injections which are not really that bad easy peasy
But we also have special kind of SQL Injections the Boolean Based ones (Medium Level Demons) and also The Time Based SQL Injections (Medium Level Demon with lots of health consumes too much time has a repetitive process and we have to wait a lot also if you have network lag you are doomed)
No its nice story till here but here it fucking ends the happiness I mean my luck is worst kind of fucking thing anybody ever can have.
I got a mix of both Demons;_;
A Time-Based Boolean SQL Injections yess fuckety amounts of fucking time wasted and redundant fucking process also to make matters worst the fucking famous tool #SQLMAP doesn't work in my case -
I have participated in a hackathon this weekend and one of the theme of hackathon was blockchain and being a blockchain dev i have created a DApps which follows token standard and other security standard but our UI was kind of basic cause we didn't have any designer in our team but one participated team's UI was far better than us but has serious flaws in the smart contract and guess what they are the one being selected and that's not it there wasn't a single judge who has basic knowledge of blockchain.I was using DApp term very often while presenting our idea and one of a judge literally asked us what is dapp? I mean WTF? Now i am regretting why did i participated in this shitty hackathon? On top of all that they juat give a single sticker for whole team. Wtf we are supposed to do? Cut it ? If you are a blockchain dev don't forget to see this beautiful function i found in the token contract of the selected team from the github.
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The best ones are in my opinion the ones that are easy to use and don't need a manual to exit(i look at ypu emacs). This is a list of tools that i use only if nothing else is available:
- nodejs directly
- emacs
- vi/vim
- rpm2 -
Changing from being a developer to a SAP Business Analyst / Functional Consultant some years back was both my best and worst career choice.
Please don't hate me.1
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