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Search - "beer rant"
Just watched the intern pull a beer from the beer fridge, and it's only 11:15am. What a fucking champion.18
** Non Dev Rant **
I just need to rant about this because I'm furious.
Last night I had a house warming party. It was mostly, if not all, of my girlfriend's friends. I'm a cranky old developer so I don't have friends.
Everyone was nice and dressed nice and brought us gifts.. all of the gifts were pretty much specifically for my girlfriend.
So this one girl came... she's younger.. around 25. She came with no gift (I wasn't expecting gifts I just need to mention it for the plot), and was dressed in sweat pants. Alright, no problem.. I really don't care at least she's here.
So as more guests arrive I finally get a gift. Someone brought me a case of beer and a couple of yummy cookies. I had to put it down on the kitchen counter for a bit because I needed to grab more chairs.
The basement door where the chairs are is 10 feet away from where I left my present..
I come back from upstairs.. not even 5 minutes later and I see sweat pant girl stuffing one cookie in her fucking mouth and the other in her pants...
Are you fucking kidding me!? I bought desserts and snacks and all the alcohol you can think of and you steal MY fucking present. Not just one of them... but BOTH.
She saw the other guests give me it.. say "here buddy this is for you"... followed me in the kitchen and STOLE my fucking cookies.
I was going to eat them this morning with my coffee and I realized I couldn't because this fucking ass hole took my fucking cookies!!!!
I hosted this party for my girlfriend's SJW ass hole fucked up friends... put a smile on my face... pretended to like people... and for once didn't yell at someone... and the fucking thanks I get is 2 stolen fucking cookies.
Still haven't thought of a proper rant to celebrate my achievement but for now, what about a selfie of me with a celebration special beer!53
Do you also like the idea, if devRant would have patreon or paypal for donations?
++ the rant if you like the idea. Maybe @dfox and @trogus will consider it then 😄
Servers are not cheap and it would be great if the community would finance itself.
Sure devRant got a Store, but I live in Europe and ordering/shipping is not so cheap, we got huge taxes for it. And I dont wont to order a stressball or sticker every month.
Also every dev wishes for a beer 🍺 😜6
What follows isn't dev related and began as a comment on one of @AlexDeLarge's rants, and quicly became a full fleged story deserving it's own rant.
Oh God, drunk people are the worst and my gf is awesome.
I live with her in a street that never sleeps. Hardly anybody lives there, actually. That's just bars and night clubs, so during evening and at night, it's very crowded and noisy (luckily we have good noise insulation).
When we get back home late, there is always people standing in front of our door, looking at you like you just shat on their already puke and urine covered feet, just because you try to make them move to use your key.
Then I make sure my lady goes first, so I can check that nobody tries to go inside after me. The boys and girls standing there, watch us then, astonished, like you're some kind of homophobic gay or antisemitic jew, then ask, with a half smile and their eyes blank from any intelligence : "Isn't it hard living here?" (or, sometimes, "Hey dude, can I enter with you? Lol". Everytime I just refrain myself from answering "Yeah, the worst is people the like of you."
It happens exactly like this EVERY.FUCKING.TIME.
I'm not against getting drunk, I do myself sometimes (though that rarely on purpose). But please don't make me hate you for it.
One day we got back after a long party. My gf was merry and I was dead drunk because it bored me so I just drank glasses after another. I remember half of the night, and she told me the next day that I tried to buy a kebab with laundry and beer tickets (also a pants button), and really didn't see what was wrong in this. I can agree with drunk me here : you give a kebab, you get free beers and can go wash your clothes. Win-win!
Anyway, when we made it back to our front door, there was as usual people in front of it. Mainly manly man lesbians with some overweight problems. So she asks "Please could you move a little, we'd like to enter and my boyfriend here feels sick". A plain old 'no' was their answer. So from the top of my drunk wise, I declared "Go away or I'm puking over you, dumb bitches". They didn't like this. They began hitting us.
Everything is blurry from there, but I think some guys came to help them hit me, while they focused on my gf. I was mainly on the floor, taking hits after hits, waiting for them to stop because it was really annoying being punched in front of your door and pissed off that I was in no position to help her. Luckily for her, she can defend herself. The lesbians were just pulling her hair and scratching, so she gave them a few good hits in the belly and they let her go enough time to grab me in the middle of the boys (a friend of us helped her grab me as well, though he managed to stay out of the fight). When I took my key in my pockets, they stopped because they thought it was a Swiss knife (because my keys are arranged like one to take less space). I just went like "Guys, you dumb fucks, that's a key. A keeeeeey", before proceeding to put the wrong one in the lock and breaking it inside.
I don't know how, but the gf, with her long nails, managed to get it out in no time and used the right key afterwards. We were home and alive.
I was really proud of her that day, but also a bit ashamed to have just been a victim and a dead weight. To this day I never drink more than a beer or two during parties, in case I'd have to fight or run on the way back. Also, when she gets out to party with friends, she always phones me to fetch her when she's done, because there are cases of harassment and sometimes rape when a girl is alone late in these streets.
I really don't like a lot of people, but these braindead stupid fucktard make things really, really worse. One day there will be some bomb dropping from my window and these waste of carbon atoms and ethanol molecules won't understand anything that happens to them.15
So just about to head to the pub and I got the dreaded call from my boss.
The support team had developed some fixes. They "tested" and deployed without letting us know... And you guessed it there was failures all over the shop!
So it turned out their testing was running on a local base install with no integration compared to the live system with 15 years of customisation and complex integration. My they thought this was acceptable I don't know...
And the best part was the developers who made the changes didn't understand their own code (I found the tutorial they copied online) they just blindly copied it without understanding how it worked!
So 4 hours later we found the bug, nothing like having a query and s SQL connection but not executing the query....
There goes my Saturday evening. Now we're was my beer!7
Some of my friends and me stayed the night in a small house. Everyone except me drank beer and now they are all sleeping while I am sitting right next to the socket in a corner listening to music and reading through the documentation of java.
This describes my life pretty well.
The last 5 months have been tough.... My boss ( who was a close friend) quit and I become interim department head... Trying to run a team who didn't seem happy I'd taken the reigns.
At the same time my wife's ongoing battle with her anxiety had gotten worse and she really needed my help with everything possible at home..
In March I was confirmed as the HoD but I was still doing 3 to 4 days a week on client delivery, trying to support all presales activities, manage a team of 10 people, travel for work and support my family....😩
It really got to me and I was close to breaking... The worry of not replying to an email ASAP no matter what time of day would eat me up, working late every night... It got too much and I was running on fumes with my weekends just me completely wiped out and useless to the family. 😓
I had a escape last weekend to a 🍻 beer 🍻 festival with friends that I was considering not going too and just losing the money but the wife made me go...
And it broke me even more... So much that its somehow put the pieces back in the right order in my brain and snapped me out of my major rut!
Somehow, sitting with friends, making stupid jokes, drinking way too much and blocking out all the work crap gave my brain the hard reset it needed. 🤟
This week I've come back a different person ( wife's words) work is a breeze, exciting and encouraging.... 👊
I can't get enough of playing silly games with my kids all night
And couldn't feel any more positive about things if I tried.... Set that spark back for my wife too! 😏💏
So.... After that long rant 👀
Tl;Dr - work and life got too much... Close to giving up... Too much beer with good company gave me a hard reset and I feel like a new person.... 👍
Plus the team is now loving the new direction and strategy too 👔
Who says drinking is bad for you? 😂🍻11
WordPress related, get ready for some disgust.
So today early in the morning my boss forwarded me an email from a client, it was about a bug, and asked me if I can have a look at it and fix it.
"Yaay, WordPress!" I thought and opened the page containing the mentioned bug. She wrote that in the italian version of the page, users can select dates in the calendar, which should be disabled, like in the german version.
So yeah, I opened the code. Everything in the function looked perfect. Really. And the Data was also correctly set in the backend of WP.
The function was only 3 lines of code:
- Get the german post ID of the current post (german or italian) by its ID (using a Polylang function)
- Get an Advanced Custom Fields field by name and from a post with the ID from before
- json_encode its content and echo it to a JS var for initialization and later use in some AngularJS.
No fucking missing semicolon, it was fucking perfect like a sunset with your soulmate.
So I tried to find the bug with my personal way of debugging:
When a creek suddenly is full of water mixed with shit, walk upstream through the turds until you reach clear water. This is where the bug is.
=> So I first looked at the HTML source: Turds.
=> Then the ACF field content: Still turds.
=> Then the ID of the german post: Shit stain and turds (var_dump: null)
=> Please god at least $post->ID? Nope, fart smell and turds.
=> Nothing more to check: Clear fucking water and the flowery smell of 99 devVirgins
So it replaced $post->IT with get_the_ID() and it worked like a charm.
Afterwards I feel stupid, but $post->IT worked all the times before...
FUCK YOU WORDPRESS YOU UGLY PIECE OF HUMAN-CENTIPEDE-PROCESSED-DOGFART.
Thanks for your patience.
Only one beer was sucked dry during the writing of this fucking rant.2
I have to rant a bit about the toxic reactions to a constructive Q&A website.
People keep complaining that they get downvotes and corrections, or stuff like that.
Are you fucking kidding me?
So you expect people to spend their own time for absolutely free, to help you, while you don't even want to invest in describing the issue you're having properly? And then complain that people are having issues in understanding your questions?
Let's look at this scientifically. Let's gather up some questions that have been received badly on SO in the last few hours. From the top (simply put https://stackoverflow.com/questions... in front of the id):
47619033 - person wants a discussion about an algorithm while not providing any information about what worked and what failed. "Please write a program for me". Breaking at least 2 rules.
47619027 - "check out my videos" spam
47619030 - "Here's the manual that has my answer but I can't find my answer in it".
47619004 - "how do I keep variables in memory"
47618997 - debug this exception, I'll give you no info on what I tried and failed. Screw this, you guys figure this out, I'm going out for beer.
47618993 - expects everyone to guess what the input is, what the expected output is, and whether he has read what HashMap is in the manual. But sure, this question is so far the best out of all the bad ones.
47618985 - please write code according to my specifications
Should I go on? There wasn't a single clear question about problems in code in this entire small set. Be free to continue searching, let me know if you find something that:
1. You understand what's being asked
2. Answer is clear and non-ambiguous (ex. NOT "which language is the coolest?")
3. Not asking someone to write a program for them.
4. Answer is not found in the most basic form of manuals (ex. php.net)
5. Is about programming.
The point is:
If you get downvoted on Stackoverflow - then you wrote a shitty question. Instead of coming over here and venting uselessly, simply address the concerns and at least TRY to write a clear question if you expect any answers.5
This was a fun thing that just happened:
I was sent a timed questionnaire by a potential employer for a software engineer job. I'm like okay, I will do it on Monday (today) because that is when I will have a free minute.
Well I sit down to do the thing and I had had a few beers, because the Ballmer Peak is real to me when I have to answer bullshit programming quizzes.
Well F me right in the A, it is a 38 question true or false logic quiz. And I am no longer a college kid trying to get into grad school so I have no patience for that crap, and apparently less with a little beer in me. Long story short, there was no comment section for me to rant in so I decided to go on YouTube and watch cat videos instead.3
Baby asleep, headphones pumping, beer poured, ready to code my MERN stack application :-)......20mins later still on dev rant!!! :-(3
I was fiddling around on a website for a bar near me with an arcade. Friends and I already discovered that you could input the konami code on the homepage and be brought to a little easter egg with a chance to win a free beer, free pizza, or nothing.
This evening I was looking at the site a little more and decided to try to find the js code they're using to manage this because I thought it was an ingenious idea. When Looking at the source, I found this little gem. I'm very pleased and wish I had built this site.2
I just automated the tasks I had for next week. What to do, what to do ^^ This is not really a rant but just me boasting. Time for beer.3
Alright I'm at a lodge drinking beer with old men. These old men (50-70) are talking about facebook. I wish half of the teenagers could hear this shit where there would be a mass exodus and facebook would go the way of myspace.3
Super awesome day today.
1. Got up early to do a risky production deploy and it worked!
2. Three PRs approved before lunch.
3. Got some time to continue learning scala.
4. Coffee and cupcakes with some refugees and discussed work as a software engineer.
5. Tried virtual reality for the first time. Really fun.
6. Helped prepare our goals for this quarter and present them to the department.
7. Department meeting had free local craft beer and pretzels.
8. Went bouldering after work and flashed a 6c.
9. Curled up with my wife watching Netflix.
I really love my life sometimes.5
Designed and written > 1.3k lines of code this week and 98% test coverage..
CI and CD set up and working..
Was a Long week and very exhausting but I feel really good now, happy to start the weekend with whiskey and beer.
This is gonna be one of my most productive sprints so far..
Hope you all had a successful week as well.
Happy Friday 🍻
And please don’t start with any „that’s nothing, I’ve written 5k lines ones“ comments.. It‘s professional, stable, optimized code and code I can actually be proud of.7
My BFF just got his master degree in social engineering (I don't know if that's translatable this way, but whatever), so I come over to drink a beer with him. We start discussing courses he had and then...
Him : I don't know why they hired a web developper for this course.
Me : A web dev?
H : Well, more of a web designer actually. That explains why she was so severe about our PowerPoints design...
M : A web designer? Oh let me guess : kind of a tech hipster, Starbuck's on the desk, and she has a Macbook?
H : Actually... uh, yes. How did you guess?
I really don't like stereotypes, but sometimes it is just too easy 😂...
No offense intended to web designers though.4
Saturdays I like to code and have some beers.
Learned the hard way to wait until the next day to push my changes... 😂
Before I learned software development, API sounded like a kind of beer.
Today I used the term so often that I have in fact recently tried to order an API at a bar.1
Sitting in a bus on 19 hour ride with my class to England a few things to rant about came to my mind:
Why the fuck do you have to blast shitty german rap music out of your fucking JBL boxes and why do you have to turn up the volume so much that I can still hear it although I am wearing headphones, listening to music and sitting 5 fucking rows in front of you.
Also why the fuck do clocks in buses never display the right time? How hard can it be to make the clock display the right fucking time?
Another thing: why does this bus which is especially made for long rides not have a fucking trash can?! Seriously wtf?
Rants aside I am really looking forward to staying in England for a week although I won't have a computer for the next week :(
Another thing: why the fuck is the coffee you get at pull-ins so fucking disgusting ?
Like srsly, it is made by a machine and still tastes like thrown-up.
And why the fuck does everyone look weirdly at you when you buy a can of red bull but everything is fine when someone my age drinks 3+ liters of beer and then throws up? What the fuck? People look at me weirdly when I tell them that I don't drink any alcohol, heck I am actually not even allowed to do so because I am 15 and not 16 (beer is allowed in Germany if you are 16+ but nobody really cares about that). Heck where I am from they even encourage you to drink beer? What the fuck??!!
Anyway looking forward to England and also sorry about the long non-dev related rant. Just had to rant about some people and society.
P.S. do you know any (preferably free) Android apps / games where you have to code or just solve problems with logic?14
Have you ever gone to a bar just for the purpose of beer-coding/barcoding?
I just did it and it is awesome, but too much beer is not helping very much for difficult tasks...2
G'day lads and lass',
Just jumping in as I seem to have been inactive for a few weeks and thought I'd update those who care, things have sort of taken a steep fall down when it comes to programming, seem to have fallen into a bit of a depression with it as every time I get the urge to do anything, by the time I actually start; I've already just lost interest and have no motivation anymore, so in light I'm taking another break from most things dev related (Might start some super minor and bullshit projects that'll probably be abandoned on github after like 5 commits)
But on the other side things have never been better, just about to finalise purchasing a block of land start building my first house with my fiance and my job has been secured after 6 months of probation, starting to gain traction with starting up my food business and seem to have a lot less 'real life' stress on my shoulders.
That being said I probably will still browse dev rant on the occasion but don't expect anymore half assed rants from me for a fair while..
Plan on throwing some of my already abandoned projects on github for anyone who might want to start picking up the pieces and finish what I never could.
(Don't worry Jilano, I'll never stop wearing the flanny and will still always have a beer in one hand, I'm not going anywhere mate)2
Now I am ranting, Everyday I rant, Yesterday I runt, Tomorrow I shall rant, Already I have ranted.
[Shaking my head, wagging my tail, moving in circles, no beer, for no reason]1
Why is it a faux pas to have a beer for breakfast but having wine, champagne or coffee isn't?
They're all delicious morning stimulants and should be treated exactly alike no matter the time of day. This type of discrimination should end now.
! Dev related rant
I rammed a knife into our fridge freezer to throw ice on my flatmate. And bam! I punchered the goddamn coil, now we've been without fridge for two days and I'm going to lose shit load of cash.
Off goes beer for a few weeks.7
Tmux. Motherfucking tmux, I don't even have to tell you how fucking good tmux is.
Combined with tmuxp, it's even better. Develop on all the devices with saved sessions! Share sessions across nearly any device? Fucking sweet. With fish and oh-my-tmux also?!
What a weekend!
I need some beer.2
// NO RANT
In Israel Thurdsday is the last work day of the week.. And this means:
One thing I have realized today is that "A developer's life is incomplete without a good beer and a friendly companion"1