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Search - "aww"
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Me: *desperately trying to finish a webpage before 5pm deadline*
Girlfriend: Why are you always so focused on your computer? You never pay attention to me.
Me: You know I have to work. Besides, you'll always be number 1 in my heart
Girlfriend: Aww that was cute. Okay I'll let you finish working
Me to me: ...arrays start at 0. *continues typing*
Disclaimer: this was stolen from /r/programmerhumor and I have no girlfriend13 -
normal person: what's your most used emoticon?
me: );
person: aww why sad?
me: you can actually see ); in 75% of my code
person: what
me: disappears();15 -
One day a client sent me gifts and a sweet letter just because they loved their new website so much. I just about cried. I work in an industry where acknowledgment and thankfulness by clients are extremely rare. 😱😭8
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Watch 3 videos about iOS/Swift on YouTube, and now I'm getting a frontpage full of recordings of app development events and iPhone reviews.
Listen to one kpop track on Spotify out of curiosity, and now the recommendation playlist is polluted with music I really don't like.
If we are going to hand our balls to AI and expect it to be a glorious fondling fest, don't cry if it suddenly realizes "nuts? aren't those supposed to be cracked?".
I mean what's fucking next? Where will this "smart" shit end up?
I accidentally click on a my little pony meme, and amazon will drone-strike me with 500 gallons of glitter? I drunkenly mumble "OK google how do kangaroos fuck" in the back of a self-driving Uber, I'm going to be dropped off in a shady alley and raped by a dozen walibis?
STOP FUCKING TRYING TO UNDERSTAND ME, INTERNET. I JUST WANT TO FUCKING USE YOU, NOT BE USED BY YOU, THIS WASN'T THE DEAL.
If you truly understood me, internet, I would probably not even give a fuck about privacy. But you are all building these profiles wrong.
You don't understand that I might be interested in juggling tricks today, tomorrow it might be all about crocheting a wool sweater for my penis, and the day after that I'm curious how many corpses it would take to fill up an olympic swimming pool.
NO I'M NOT ACTUALLY INTERESTED IN THAT QUORA, STOP SENDING ME RECOMMENDATION EMAILS ON HIDING MURDER VICTIMS, MY BOSS WILL THINK I'M WEIRD.
Yeah of course I could pulls some plugs, anonymize the shit out of my online life. I respect those who manage to just say "Fuck you Google, I'm sick of your shit, I'm going cold turkey".
But these platforms are feeding us heroin-laced candy.
All your coworkers friends and family with their oled-lit zombiefaces, staring at tiny screens, all absent-mindedly grasping your ankles whispering "aww take one more hit with us, check out this funny youtube clip, let me send it to you on whatsapp.... what you don't have whatsapp? You deleted your facebook? don't you love grandma anymore? Why do you hate your family?"
Before you know it, you watched ten episodes about cultivating cactuses, have a year subscription to brilliant, skillshare, squarespace and 3 different organic foodboxes are delivered to your door, Netflix is spamming you about a cupcake baking show, and you're thinking about same-day delivery for a baseball bat so you can just beat the crap out of every pretty glass display you see.
I want to break up with you, Internet.
I love you, but I hate you.
Since you passed 2.0, you have grown into a manipulative bitch.
I just don't know if I'm strong enough. It's all "let's just be friends" with you, but I know you'll be trying to reel me back in.
Before I know it, you're feeding me cookies once again, and I'll end up balls deep with your trackers stuck to my dick.21 -
Friend gave this self made "pocket advent calendar" to me (has 24 m&m's in it)
*me to her: aww thank you thats so sweet!
*OCD to me: but she could have aligned that numbers...
*me to me: and that's one more reason you're single12 -
This is not a rant. This is one of the several "aww" moments I've had with a chatbot I had made which I integrated with Telegram Bot API yesterday.12
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Guys, my unfortunately daily rant of my pm
I was told to create a docker env for our team. Good. Document the process so everyone can know what to do. Good.
My PM follows what he wants to instead of step by step and changes whatever he wants to.
I am asked for help because he doesnt know. No prob.
Me: "Do this, do this and.."
PM: "that doesnt matter, trust me, I could change it and.."
Me: "...and it wont work"
PM: "I know suff too, check" *does his changes aaaaaand doesnt work*
* awkward staring*
That happened a while ago.
This week, he crashed his git repo because he was doing things in docker team (including him) decided not to.
Took me more enough time explaining him "you are not supposed to do that in the container" funny fact he wanted to prove that his way was right and even if he did my way it would crash.
Sooooo he did my way just to prove how wrong I was. Everything worked flawlessly. Rage-still-awkward staring.
Plus the "aww that's weird. I dont know how this happened" -
* login tutorial *
Alright, everything looks good and secure and all
"and now to keep the user logged in..."
Aww ye, this is just what I needed
"we set logged in to \"true\" in a cookie and add another cookie with the users name"2 -
A high ranking member of my institution had to partake in certain events that demonstrated coding. Said person came back amazed at the sheer amount of work and knowledge requiered to work in the area.
Yes......maybe that will make said person reconsider the "i needed this by yesterday" and "its only a quick fix" attitude.
BUT! We all know it won't3 -
Aww SwiftKey, after two letters youre suggesting the right password, that's so nice of you...
Wait a minute... WHY DO YOU EVEN KNOW THAT?
You're not a password manager and you don't do that with other passwords, what's wrong with you?4 -
From my last job interview (which I got hired btw)
Lead developer: "so we see quite a lot of frameworks that you listed for php, Laravel,cakephp, codeigniter, we really like the idea of them but have not had the opportunity to use them since as you might know by know our pages run over basic and small scripts, you also listed some cool front end frameworks, react looks amazing and I do have somr experience. Tell me, if given the choice, which framework would you use for php?"
Me: Really depends on the project, but the ones that you have described previously seem that they would not really benefit from them, we should not use them if they are overkill or will not expand to anything else on the future"
Him: "But given the choice?"
Me: my own framework, completed it a couple of days ago, it has its own routing system and everything made by yours truly, used it before on some projects in which the developers work with it with no need to ask me about stuff, the documentation is sound and the code rather simple. Php is and can really be all you need depending on what we are talking about."
Him: **stands up, moves closer to me and fist bumps**
"All right now moving on, i was wondering abouy redux, what are the benefits of..."
Walked out of there like a boss, it got interesting when we started talking about Lisp, apparently they are interested in putting some Clojure to test in small things since they want to learn new things and apply them. Yup, this gon b good!!4 -
If your npm/yarn config breaks on windows clap your hands
👏👏
If your npm/yarn config breaks on windows clap your hands
👏👏
Express generator doesn't work, and sass will up and break because there is no support for windows clap your hands
👏👏🎵🎶
Sigh.......das it...i am bringing the mac or one of my Linux machines tomorrow........11 -
(I am an entry-inter-intermediate level dev)
P = Person
P:Hey Can you build me a POS system for free?
Me: Yea whatever. (because... immediate family member)
P:Ok Great.
Me: *starts working on it.. almost done with inventory control and layouts in one night*
P: When will it be done? and I need it in a full screen window not a browser!!
Me: Soon..and I have not worked in ASP yet. So it will be a full screen browser app.
P: Aww you cant do it fast? You are not skilled enough??? Poor you, you are not good enough. I can do it in a few hours. Just write a C program which stores entries in a txt file. I dont want sql shes-que-el on my system. You dont want to use .txt because it will be harder for you. Poor you.. no skill.
Me: *raging to a level where i turn into kryptonium and burn superman to death but still keeping my calm* You will get it when you get it. Period
Inner Me: GO FUCK YOURSELF. IM DOING THIS FOR FREE SO THAT IT HELPS YOU OUT. NAGGING ME WONT HELP YOUR CAUSE ONE BIT. GO FUCKING LEARN HOW TO CODE YOURSELF AND MAKE IT YOURSELF OR BUY IT FOR A FUCK TON OF UNJUSTIFIED MONEY. IM GIVING YOU A BEAUTIFUL LAYOUT, GREAT APPLICATION ARCHITECTURE USING LARAVEL AND GREAT DATABASE DESIGN WHICH WOULD BE SCALABLE AND PRODUCE MEANINGFUL REPORTS. WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU PREFER A .TXT FILE OVER A WELL DESIGNED DATABASE. WOULD YOU FUCKING OPEN THAT HAMSTER CAGE OF A BRAIN OF YOURS WITH A KNIFE OR A SCREWDRIVER?
IF ITS THAT EASY FOR YOU GO FUCKING DO IT YOURSELF AND STOP BOTHERING ME. I AM TAKING MY TIME OUT FROM FREELANCING TO HELP YOU OUT. I COULD BE SPENDING THIS TIME ON OTHER PROJECTS WHICH WOULD GET ME SOMEWHERE. THE ONLY FUCKING REASON IM DOING IT BECAUSE I MIGHT BE ABLE TO RESELL THE POS (PIECE OF SHIT) TO OTHER PEOPLE IN FUTURE AND MAKE MY SHARE OF UNJUSTIFIED SHIT TON OF MONEY.14 -
My food-loving other half just said this to me:
Her: "I love you more than pie"
Me: "Aww, that's nice"
Her: "I love you 4.173692 out of 10"
Me: "..."5 -
Bonus points if you also wrote it in a language entirely new to you, or even in entirely different paradigm. (In my case Haskell.)11
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$girl -pretty
_
ctrl-c
$girl -pretty -v
you don't have permission to the necessary files (e.g. skills_communication, confidence, ...)
#girl -pretty
Are you sure you want to continue? This is considered harassment in some cultures and can seriously harm the health of your system. [y/N]
N
$
aww shit...19 -
She : You spend your whole day with your stupid computer ! That dumb machine is more important to you than me. We are done 😡
Me : Babe, I swear to God, you'll always be number one on my priority list.
She : Aww.. love you so much 😚
Me in mind : This must be the reason behind foundation of 0 index for Devs.1 -
Aww Yeh. Got them stickers. Thanks @dfox, @trogus. And to you guys for getting my post to 20++. XPS 15 looking slick.
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Probably a !rant, idk
Some background info, I barely watch / talk about watching movies.
This happened today
Me : Let's watch a movie, it's been a while. ×3
Google *listening to me through the phone.* : Aww, there you go ₹20 play movies reward
Thanks, I guess?4 -
Social media has made so many fucking stupid people famous, I don't see any advantages of all these platforms!
And while writing here this, I am also being somewhat hypocrite!
"Likes","retweets", ++", fucking kerma...all are creating much of the fucking trouble already!
(Excluding /r/aww)3 -
Damn, after almost a year back to devRant 😊. Linuxxx still goin' with his ++'s, tons of new users.. Aww, good ol' devRant, I missed ya :)6
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When someone in your dorm offers to pay you to help them with their Python class because “you’re better than the TA” 🙌🏼
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I believe Common Lisp people are up to something:
http://lisp-lang.org
and
https://www.quicklisp.org/beta/
......I ak fucking stocked at this way of coding making a comeback. I wonder if It has anything to do with M.L being all the rage now a days.
Oh well....M x slime3 -
"Aww yeah, Bootstrap 4 is coming!"
Shut up bitch! I started 2 years back with web development when I was a noob and since then you are coming.1 -
Well thus far is a bunch of rails small jobs. Funny enough this week I managed to get a bunch of php contracts "with the possibility to extend for larger contracts"
I am not really interested in long term contracts, but being that most developers that I see hired for small php jobs are not used to the patterns of development used for modern php and that i bring in a lot of my own stuff for it I know that I will be maintaining them for the long run.
So good stuff. Lets see how the week pans out. Getting really excited. Even tho I see more horrors in php than even on JS or ASP.NET or Java I still really love all languages that I have used. And normally I work like a mechanic. In which I bill by the hour(i am an expensice hooker...I mean developer) and finish everything as fast as possible to let me lazy around the house. So for example, if something takes 10 hours I will do it i 5 or less and charge all 10 hours, or I would charge per build(custom login and registration that kind of deal) and yeah. Pretty basic.
Good shit man!1 -
My superpower: having the flu will not affect me whatsoever...but it will get everyone else in my vicinity SICK af.
Which is why my sexy ass was sent home since Monday and I have been living life at home this week. I haven't taken a vacation in so long, and this feels nice. HR fucked up and their dumbasses said I was not "cleared" to work from home. Yet I have over 200 hours accumulated of sick leave.
My department is in flames because I am needed there. Of course, every other department thinks I don't do shit all day, the only one that knows how much I do is my boss, bless him. But for every other motherfucker that thinks that I am here just playing with my thumbs all day: eat shit...und die.11 -
It is time for my own dumbass's favorite pastime: not letting go on retro tech.
I am gonna build a small and complete RESTful web API with Vbscript and Classic ASP with errrthing thrown in this mfker including JWT authentication and i am gonna see how the idea of an ORM goes. I know that COM interop was a thing, dunno if it still is.
I am fucking bored. The graduate degree is killing me and I need a distraction.
Thinking about being a purist and keeping the COM libraries to be made with VB.NET :P
Fuck yeah for being a masochistic retard.
I legit love vb net tho4 -
HOD keeps coaching me in regards to my new role as a manager for my institution. I really like it, the man has a lot of knowledge and would show me stuff that not only deals with my job, but his as well. Thus far everything has been working rather smoothly, mind you, i have been acting manager for more than 6 months thus far, but they just made it official after our vp conaidered that most of the applicants for the manager role were not as qualified as I was, kinda had the advantage since I wrote the job requirements.
All in all it has been fun, stressing, but fun. -
Me and the dba are slowly migrating parts of our JVM stack into .NET AND even tho I love and will always love Java and its ecosystem....I am glad.
IIS as a server is something that I actually look forward to since deploying shit to it is always a breeze
Installing ssl certs is a breeze
Everything is a fucking breeze
Before any of you cocksuckers say anything: this is my opinion only5 -
Why do people hate wordpress so much? It honestly fucks me off the amount of hate it gets and I honestly get a little triggered when people give me the "aww people who use Wordpress aren't real web devs" comment? Like fuck off i use Wordpress to make using a site more easy for my clients you daft cunt. 😩23
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A coworker brought a French press as well as kettles and everything to our office.
Thank heavens for coworkers like this.
The coffee tastes fucking delicious.1 -
if anyone was wondering..... the oneplus 7t is pretty good.
it has been acting splendid thus far. Before this i had the s9 and even tho the phone was great i just changed it on account of me being spoiled as fuck.
but ye, great phone9 -
How 2018 brings an aww bug.
At my company, we've a reporting application. Which kind of provides analysis of client's weekly business. When you open the application it shows their business trend starting from Sunday to day of week.
As usual their is an endpoint to get the data basis on start date. As soon as date changed to 1st Jan, it stopped showing data. Given that it was a long weekend, no one was available from the tech. Support team got tremendous amount of tickets for this. Later on Tuesday while debugging we got to know while forming the date in the application the logic was like this
- get current year
- get the date and month on start of week
Combine these 2 and request the data. All the time it was fetching data starting from 31 Dec 2018.
😒😒😒2 -
I don't know if something changed on the go linters, the spec or whatever.
...... but I am so fucking glad that I don't get retarded "eXpoRteD FuNctioNs neeEd tO bE coMmenTed"
Fuck how I hate how these tools operate sometimes4 -
They bought and killed the awwapp.com
And now they demand I paid $200 for their crappy UX, for a battleship-level-software when all I really want is smth lightweight, simple and nimble, like draw.io.
I think I was never this satisfied pressing the "cancel subscription" button.
Fuck you, Miro!
Give us back the AWW!!!2 -
Random thoughts on more out of the box tools/environments.
Subject: Pharo
Some time ago I had shown one of my coworkers about Pharo and he quickly got the main idea behind it but mentioned how he didn't like the idea of leaving behind his text editor to deal with source code.
Some time last week I showed the dude some cool 3d animations you can do with Pharo while simultaneously manipulating the code to change them in real time. Now that caught his attention particularly and he decided he wanted to know more about the language but in particular the benefits of fucking around with an image based environment rather than a file based.
Both of us reached the conclusion that image based makes file based dev enviroments seem quaint in comparison, but estimated that it was nothing more than a sentiment rather than a fact.
We then considered what could be the advantage/disadvantages of such environments but I couldn't come up with anything other than the system not having something like Vim or VS Code or whatever which people love, but that it makes up for it with some of the craziest IDE tools I had ever seen. Plugins in this case act like source code repos that you can download and activate into your workflow in what feels something similar to VS Code being extended via plugins written in JS, and since the GUI is maleable as it is(because everything is basically just subsets of morp h windows) then extending functionality becomes so intuitive that its funny
Whereas with Emacs(for example) you have to really grind your gears with Elisp or Vimscript in Vim etc etc, with Pharo your plugin system is basicall you just adding classes that will convert your OS looking IDE into something else.
Because of how light the vm machine is, portability is a non issue, and passing pharo programs arround is not like installing Java in which you need the JVM.
Source code versioning, very important, already integrated into every live environment and can be extended to do pushes through simple key bindings with no hassle.
I dunno, I just feel that the tool is too good to be true. I keep trying to push limits into it but thus far I have found: data visualization and image modeling to work fine, web development with Teapot to be a cakewalk and work fine, therr are even packages for Arduino development.
I think its biggest con would be the image based system, but would really need to look into how this is bad by any reason other than "aww man I want vim!" since apparently some psychos already made Emacs and VS code packages for interfacing with Pharo source trees.
Embedded is certainly out of the question for any real project since its garbage collected and not the most performant cookie in the jar.
For Data science I can see some future, seems just as intuitive and interesting as a Jupyter Notebook actually, but the process can't and will not be the same since I still don't know of a way to save playground snippets unless you literally create classes for it, in which case every model you build gets saved inside of an object, sounds possible but, strange since it is not a the most common workflow in jupyter.
Some of the environment is sometimes glitchy, but it does have continuos development and have not found many hassles.
There is a biased factor from my side: I seem to be wired to understand the syntax and simple object model better than in other languages. To me this feels natural as if I was just writing ideas rather than code, mostly because I feel that there really ain't much in terms of syntax, the language gets out of my way and the IDE feels like the most intuitive environment in the world to me. I can see why some people would find it REALLY weird of counterintuitive tho.
Guess I really am a simple dude. -
Aww Alexander why did you delete ur rant? Did you not want people to see my comment about how me and the boys run a train on your dad every two weeks? I mean I get it, it’s tough to see your dad in the hospital. But you got to let him know that moisturizing is REALLY important. Me and the boys are like gorillas, and we don’t have a safe word.20
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Aww... The End
Only took a few hours for them to catch but this game wasted basically an entire week so guess this is for the better.
Honestly turned out to be like any other mobile free to play... And I couldn't figure out what was so fun about it.. Probably just the small rewards that keep u coming back but eventually the lvls are pretty impossible... Only a whale can get there... Or sometime really dedicated to the game
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Back to Poker...3 -
WTF AM I WATCHING HERE
IT'S NOT JUST SEXISM IT'S AWW GOD JUST LOOK AT THIS...
2 BITCHES WANT YOU AS WEB DEV
https://youtu.be/fRo7z5KOrzw6