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Search - "green screen"
Oh man, when a simple prank goes out of control.
Tl;dr incompetent IT don't know their shit and want to shut down server because of a simple batch file.
Long story time;
For the last day at my side job I thought it would be funny to run a small batch script on one of the PC's (that is not even connected to the internet...).
All it did was echo some random russian characters to the screen, ping itself for a couple of bytes, and echo "success" at random intervals. Ofcourse in the classic green/black CMD...
Pressing any key would stop this, and I didn't do anything to prevent it from being closed/stopping.
Now this was running for a couple of minutes when a colleague spotted it and completely freak out, literally. He ran to the floor chief, who took a look, freaked out, and called in IT...
Now our IT section isn't exactly what I'd call competent, as I've ranted about before... So he turned up, failed at comprehending what was going on, told everyone to not touch the computer and directly went full fucking retard and wanted to shut down the entire server.
OhFuck.jpg this is escalating quicker than I thought.
Fortunately for him he didn't have the rights to do that himself, so he ran off to call his chief to do it.
My floor chiefs knows I do also do programming so he came up to me asking if I could take a look at it to figure out it was doing, so I walked up "took a look" and told him I can probably stop this. Hit the enter key to stop it, deleted the batch file and shut off the computer.
Told my chief this should work as a temporary solution but IT should do a full check of their systems.
Fast forward a couple of hours and head of IT is still trying to figure out what happened and checking their systems.. luckily he wasn't dumb enough to actually shut everything down7
After months and months of unrealistic deadlines, pulling late night shifts coupled with an insane commute and two very small children at home I had a total burnout. Turned up to work one morning, and stared at the Java code I had been writing for the past couple of days and it might as well have been written in Martian. The more I stared, and the more I tried to keep things together internally the less I was able to make sense of anything - just a random jumble of characters on screen that were as intelligible as the green scrolling lines from The Matrix.
My office manager saw that I was obviously in some distress and took me into a meeting room to have a quick chat - and there I was, a grown man of 35 bawling my eyes out like a two year old. Not the most edifying moment of my life.
However, the company couldn't have been more supportive afterwards; one of my colleagues drove the 100 miles to get me home in my car and took a train back up to the office; my GP signed me off work for six months and treated me for severe depression; the office instituted stricter working policies - not on the developers, but the sales/PM teams that were handing down ridiculous timescales simply so they could get a sale.
For my part, I've learnt to push back and say "NO!" - work is not your life, it's an important part of your life, but my no means everything. Don't feel beholden to a company to meet unrealistic targets that you haven't agreed to. Talk.5
Today I needed the scroll lock key.
I was running a super long test suite, one which puts a green dot on the screen every 500ms, so you can't scroll up. I needed to view some output of an earlier command... in other words, I needed to lock the automatic scrolling of the terminal.
That is what the scroll lock key was made for.
A momentous occasion.
Then I found out that a while ago, I used the macro function of my keyboard to rebind the that key... to close the current terminal window. 😡7
I have a telephone headset with a "confusing" mute button. Sometimes it works normally, but quite often it will "double-toggle" (toggle twice as though I pressed it twice, which essentially has no effect) - so I'm either left muted or left un-muted, the same as before I pressed the button at all - so I have to press it again, sometimes several times, for it to actuary work.
While I'm at my desk, I have a visual indicator of mute status (a light that turns green for un-muted or red for muted), so I can easily tell if my mic is hot or not. My old headset had a nice audible beep reminder if I was muted, but the new headset? Nope, not-so-much.
I work from home, while my wife works at an office; so each morning she leaves, but I stay in the home office. I almost always see her off one way or another, usually doing or saying something funny as she heads out.
So, one day, I'm on a large conference call with a number of cross-team managers, and my wife is about to head out the door. With the meeting droning on in my headset, I was in the kitchen with her for a while helping finish clean up after breakfast and getting her ready to go.
She needed to pack an ice-pack for some reason, and for the random humor of it, I start screaming something to the effect of "GIMMIE YO ICE PACKS - GIMMIE ALLLL YO ICE PACKS - YEAH! YEAH! IMMA PUT MY BAAAAAAAAALLLLLS ON IT - WHOOOOOOOOO!"
During which time I am jumping around like a crazy person, including actually grabbing one of the ice packs, putting it down the front of my pants and screaming. Loudly.
It was after my own screaming I overheard more than one person yelling on the bridge line "YOU'RE NOT MUTED! YOU'RE NOT MUTED!"
I have seldom felt such raw, unadulterated panic.
I rushed back to my home office - yes, the green light is on my desk - my mic is hot. When I pressed mute at some point earlier in the call, it double-toggled, leaving me un-muted, and I never knew.
Even more embarrassing was the chat session I saw on my computer screen. It was from my manager (one of the managers on the call) - he had pinged me several times while I was in the kitchen.
It read something like:
hey, you there?
is that your phone
I think your phone isn't muted
is that you?
did you just say balls?10
he walks a lonely road
the only one who perl still even knows
he writes his code
but it's only him, and he codes alone
he sees his perly screen
on the monitor of mono-green
a typo CIG
and he's the only one, and he codes alone
he codes alone, he codes alone
he codes alone and he codes a-
/etc/shadow's as new as the lang he's using
his scripting starts as soon as he's in
sometimes he'd wish the syntax wasn't blinding
till then he codes alone
ah ah, ah ah, ahhh-ah
ah ah, ah ah
he's coding another line
that references a function way behind
another "or die" ends a failed find
of one who writes this code
read comments that shine
explain fucked up fixes when a process dies
log a debug sign to know the hiccup's just fine
and he codes alone
he codes alone, he codes alone
he codes alone and he codes a-
stares at his text, green
on the lines of his CRT
where the old language sleeps
and he's the only one, and he codes alone
boulevard of broken screens
dedicated to @DewWisp8
What's the difference between a wasp and single loose hair?
Apparently none till the wasp stings :/
Yesterday I thought I had a loose hair on my neck.. ok, I shrug it off.. later again the creepy feeling.. shrugs off..
I continue to work, sumberged in code, wanting to find the fucker (bug, not the wasp/hair).. lean in to the monitor... 10 cents away from the screen... Ok, maybe that's it! Feels the hair on my back, near shoulderblades again... shrugging again more violently to get it further down to fall out.. nothing.. ok, got the bug, threw myslef back in the chair with substential force & BAAAAM!!! Motherfucking hair bit me!! O.o
I scream in horror & on top of the lungs (it was late, after work hours so I didn't expect anyone else still at the office) PROKLETA PRASICA (roughly translated to goddamn female swine).. I previously saw some green bug flying around the office and I thought that nasty thing bit me (didn't know they bite soo, much more horror for me).. O.o
Anyhow, I jump up from the computer and see my coworker looking at me all baffled.. I proceed to franticly take of my headphones and hoodie..thinking about wtf should I do now, I cannot get undressed in front of him (not for my sake, bra is the same as top of the bathing suit for me, but still..I don't want anyone suing me for impropper behaviour of undreasing in front of coworkers..), how the fuck should I get to the toilet?! O.o
C: Are you ok?!
M: Um.. sth bit me..wtf?!
C: There was a wasp flying around somewhere some time ago.. are you alergic?!
M: um..not sure, I don't think so..we'll see soon..
I proceed to the WC, to take off tshirt & check/kill off the fucker.. on my way there (walking funny to not press the hair to my body again) I got another surprise, another coworker was working late..
C2: Are you ok?! O.o
M: yeah, sth bit me, probably a wasp..
Ok, finally on the loo..ok, do not lock self in in case it escapes and you need help.. don't even shut the door. Check.. standing between the doors I contemplate on how the fuck should I take my tshirt off without angering the fucker even more and getting bitten again.. O.O
I lifted the tshirt up my back to let it out.. nope, not there..the creepy felling of buzzing around between my shoulder blades continues.. crap.. what to do?!
I stood there & contemplated the task.. ok, roll up the tshirt to the shoulder blades, not against the body (duh) to prevent further stings..tighten the fabric, so it cannot escape, quickly remove the band from the body.. done..reversed the tshirt and straightened it.. bzzz... Fucker fell somewhere.. Dafaq?! Was it really just a wasp?! If yes, no problem...but what if coworker was wrong and I got bitten by that nasty green whateveritsname bug?! Eeeeewwww! Is it poisonous? Gotta find it & kill it for good.. waited a bit, than saw a goddamn wasp crawl from under the toilet.. wasp!! Yess!! Stopm stomp fucker!!
I get dressed & go back to my desk..
C: Did you terminate it?!
M: Yup, fucker went on a toilet paper trip down the drain!!
I sit down, starting to get my headphones back on and proceed to work.., but before I could, one last gem:
C: CTO would say, thank god it didn't sting you in your finger cuz you wouldn't be able to type anymore..
M: O.O so true hahhahahaaa
Disclaimer - I like animals, but I freakking hate wasps..especially if they get under my tshirt to sting.. :/8
I have a certain condition with my eyes which i can compensate with glasses with prisms in it. Due to these prisms, all glowing colors become displaced in height. When i look on editors with syntax highlighting enabled, red is two millimeters behind the screen, green 4mm in front, blue 2mm in front, and gray exactly on 0. This is amazing, and sometimes is just watch this and wonder when holographic screens are becoming a thing. Id really wish for you to see somerhing like this.13
Shit! I knew buzzwords were overused, but I just saw an ad and it is fucking jesused jambled bananas in the ass.
Starts with a woman looking out the window and there’s a tornado (seems ok for now)
The tornado approaches and IT IS MADE OF FUCKING NON MONOSPACED IN MY ASS FONTED 0s AND 1s. Bonus point: they are green !!
Switches to lines of GREEN code (kill my fucking brain with a pistol attached to your dick right now)
Probably JS or something similar in syntax.
And then: A FUCKING GUY LEANING OVER POINTING SOMETHING ON THE SCREEN! HIS NAMETAG:
And then some other buzzing asses armagedon en d of the fucking world bleeding edge vibrator buzzwords shenanigans.
Finishes with drones shot flying between businesses building with 3d floating words like
KILLLLLL MMMEEEE FU748-KFJV ING 3I6HT N0W $)&(&($8#;&(&8 jeiebc13
I've seen people doing story/rant to introduce themselves, and I never done that, probably because I'm terrible at doing so, and the more people their is, the more complicated it gets for me. 😥
Usually I try to blend in, and be the same color as the wall. But I want to try something different, so bear with me as I go through this painful process. 😶
So here I am, a lonely dev, who only have friends through a screen, living in a dark room only lit by green leds (tho sometimes it turn red/pink), lost in a small street of Paris. I usually avoid posting on social media, but here on devRant, I feel alright, somehow, it feels like home... 🤗
Started developing at 14 with html and php, then css and js (with the later still being a mystery to me). 🤔
I never really had a real job. Had 3 month as an intern into a human size web agency, and despite the recommandation they gave, I didn't like the job... Dropped from school and self learned everything I know today. Did a certain amount of personal projects, but no publication for lack of confidence. As of today, I'm 28. 🙂
Then a year and half ago, I changed to c# with unity3D, and I had a ton of fun since. 😄
Learned cg effect, texturing, 3d, a bit of animation. I'm working on a project of indi game with two people that are my only social interaction outside of my family, and now devRant. I don't mind being lonely tho. 😯
But this community is awesome, so I'm glad I stumbled across that sad face on the play store. 😄
Also it's 7:30am, I didn't sleep because of this post, I'm tired, and yes I'm an idiot.21
I did it. I completely broke windows by plugging in my laptop charger.
The colors in this image have not been distorted at all.
Fuck this OS, royally.11
You've perhaps heard of Blue Screen Of Death in Windows. But how about GREEN screen of death?
Driver issues goddammit.8
H0LY SHIT, S0ME0NE I KN0W S4YS HE C4N DD0X ME WITH HIS M4LWARE-RIDDEN J4ILBR0KEN PS4?
I MUST USE HTTPS://H4CKERTYPER.NET IN 0RDER T0 L4UNCH 4 C0UNTER STRIKE 4ND 0UT-H4CK THE 1337 H4X0R
*types aggressively as green text appears on screen*
FUCK, HE'S G0T HIS (minecraft) CL4N, 4N0NYM0US, T0 H4CK ME. I'M FE4RING F0R ME/MY F4MILY'S LIFE RN. SH0ULD I C4LL THE FBI TO OUT-H4CK HIM?10
Just got a new monitor (HKC NB34C) and connected it to my PC (which didn't have a monitor at the time)
The first thing I see is a green screen of death because of a power outage during a Windows insiders update.11
On Monday i have a Skype Interview.
Now i've bought a green screen because i thought that would be fun for showing my design stuff live as a virtual webcam. But this stupid Java 6 SE "Chroma Key Live" programm does not recognise any camera... and it's so ugIy... I hate java gui's.... :-/5
Saw a fellow developer at my company was having a rough day last week. Hes only been a developer with the company for about 3 months and came in green as grass. I asked him what was wrong and he said he cant get access to the file he needs because his ssh program (winSCP) is "broken" I look over at his computer and see his window was stranded between the two external monitor screens where the only clickable area is one small pixel line against the window. He unplugged the monitors and the window was still off the screen. Apparently, he had done this, and stopped attempting to use winscp and tried another program he didnt know and was resigned to leaving the window floating in no man's land instead of googling how to get the window back into the screen.
We need a better recruiter.1
Customer give me a broken iPad. The screen was pink or green with a not wanted 3D effect. Solution? Just kick it on the back side where the the screen connector is. That’s a so funny solution 🤣
My friend just realised that he shot an entire video of a person infront of green screen, while that person was wearing a pant with green stripe.
google pixel 2 vs iphone x fails
recap pixel 2:
recap iphone x:
I once had to install a Mac OS VM for a school project. I tried customizing one simple thing in the boot options and I was meet with a green screen with an apple support phone number, no debug options. FML. We ended up begging the TA to do Android app instead, and we did :)
My first computer exposure was on a mainframe (CDC Cyber 180). My university in Kerala, India had a collaboration with the Indian defence organisation DRDO. The operating system was something called NOS/VE, though as I remember it could run some Unix version virtually. I had Fortran 77 programs to be developed as part of the course. (finite element methods). As I remember, the machine had built in routines for the same. Screen was a green on dark terminal conected to the thing. No windowing or graphics.
Today kids have more powerful machines at home (or in their pockets). The famous computing power law be praised.
I love this weekly group rant, it made me think back when my mom started to work in a kindergarten and she used to take me to work when i was 4-7 years old ('94 - '97).
There was this "TV" and all the kids used to smash the buttons on it. It also played sound, but there was always a lot of kids there so I was shy to ask them if I push the buttons too. But I was the teachers son, so I didn't had to sleep in the afternoon, and then I discovered this computer thing I was amazed, it was like nothing I saw before, you push it and it does what you pushed and, *_* this smiley is exactly me back then. It was probably an old commodore with green text on the black screen. It was the moment when I decided to get more information about this wonder.
In elementary school (around '98) we had this computer room and as I was one of the best students back then I was granted access to it. It was a huge success in a post communist country to get money for new computers to teach us kids to use them back then, so only the chosen ones could use them, and I was one of them, one of the best time time of my life, honestly. At this moment I knew for sure, I want one and when I grow up I gonna work with them. I had no idea what you can do with it but every adult is talking about how well paid are the people who use them at work. :D it sounds funny now
In '89 or '99 we visited our family in a town far away. My grandfathers sisters boyfriend had a computer and he said, look I also have internet. This face again *_* what the hell is internet. So he explained me this internet thing which "makes all computers connected, but you have to pay for it and it kinda works like wired phones you know. Here you put the address and you can open the website"
me: website, whoooa *_*
8-9 year old clever me: "but how do you know what are the addresses, do you have a phonebook for these addresses?"
he showed me google, and a slovak and czech search engine, I remember searching for "funny pictures" on the slovak search engine, because I was thinking If I search google, its english so he would pay too much :D
I didn't had a computer until I was 13 years old, but then I started to messing with Microsoft Front Page 2003, was amazed with the html and css generated by it and started to editing it.
Now Im a front end web dev