People with programming languages named after them:

Haskell Curry
Ada Lovelace
Agner Erlang
Blaise Pascal
Taylor Swift

How do I query the database?

I'm working on a programming language with a "bytecode" interpreter and a compiler that translates source code to said bytecode and... it sort of actually works!

I want to recreate an Erlang-style environment, currently you can write functions, call C++ functions via wrappers, have immutable-only values, and it has no explicit control structure apart from statement sequencing and the if-expression because I want to make it as functional as possible. Next thing on the list is to add a green threads implementation and ability to spawn and send messages to processes.

Still a WIP and heck even design-in-progress.

Now for the rant:
I'm using CMake for building C++ (interpreter) and Stack for Haskell (compiler) and I've been trying to get them to talk to each other for hours because I want CMake to manage the Stack build too and shove all the executables into one place. CMake documentation is weird and Stack isn't too helpful either, so I guess I'll just spend another few hours trying to get Stack to fuckin reveal its build directory to CMake and/or build to a given directory. Ugh.

Life as a homeless developer.

I'm a lil brainsick but homelessness makes you that way.
I started writing software as a hedge against an old injury i had from my teen years. I have a unique condition leaving me with limited use of my hand as such any jobs like cashier call center and they like are of limits to me, i can't hold change because my hands don't bend flat, and to much typing is excruciating. Therefore being adev should get the most bang for the buck that I have left. Ive been doing this for 12 years. Well it's all bullshit and unicorns. I can't get a job to save my life. All i get is calls from recruiters wanting a full stack retard. I'm an erlang developer for about 5 years, c# php no i can't do Photoshop or frontend gay as colors because it's a different skillet. Oh but trumpy says we're at the lowest unemployment ever, ya because we're all homeless and companies are still looking for unicorns, they don't exist just like the fake jobs which is the real fake news. In reality if a company wants you its because their dev left and you are to fix their broken shit, which never worked in the first place thus cannot be fixed besides I'm not a plumber. In my opinion many companies nowadays are run by liberal sjw children who don't value your time but want the product now, spoilt. Recruiters are the worst, gimme money because i touched your resume. I'd rather just kill myself than try to appease some fucking retarded children. Its so awesome to live in a tunnel while my skills entropy while i have 160 self published github repos, know many programming languages and be told your have no value. its those same children that dont understand the flow of money or value loyalty, claim we have all these jobs but no skillid employees, so they can bring in more visa overstayers, underpay them and claim record profits, the more you pay forieners my countries money the less there is to go around in the society leading to disenfranchised people like me, and you wonder why there's so many shootings in il. How long can i endure homelessness before i start becoming a criminal? Soon i will have no other option. You employers had a choice but I'm going out with a bang.

First rant: but I'm so triggered and everyone needs a break from all the EU and PC rants.

It's time to defend JavaScript. That's right, the best frikin language in the universe.

Features:
incredible async code (await/async)
universal support on almost everything connected to the internet
runs on almost all platforms including natively
dynamically interpreted but also internally compiled (like Perl)
gave birth to JSON (you're welcome ppl who remember that the X in AJAX stood for XML)

All these people ranting about JS don't understand that JS isn't frikin magic. It does what it needs to do well.

If you're using it for compute-heavy machine learning, or to maintain a 100k LOC project without Typescript, then why'd you shoot yourself in the foot?

As a proud JS developer I gotta scroll through all these posts gushing over the other languages. Why does nobody rant about using Python for bitcoin mining or Erlang to create a media player?

Cuz if you use the wrong tool for the right job, it's of course gonna blow up in your face.

For example, there was a post claiming JS developers were "scared" of multithreading and only stick in their comfort zone. Like WTF when NodeJS came out everything was multithreaded. It took some brave developers to step out of the comfort zone to embrace the event loop.

For a web app, things like PHP and Node should only be doing light transforms between the database information and HTML anyways. You get one thread to handle the server because you're keeping other threads open to interface with databases and the filesystem. The Nexus.js dev ranting on all us JS devs and doesn't realize that nobody's actual web server is CPU bound because of writing HTML bodies, thats why we only use 1 thread. We use other worker threads to do the heavy lifting (yes there is a C++ bridge look it up)

Anyways TL;DR plz respect JS developers we're people too. ES7 is magic and please don't shit on ES3 or we'll start shitting on the Python 2-3 conversion (need to maintain an outdated binary just cuz people leave out ()'s in their print statements)

Or at least agree that VB.NET is an abomination and insult to the beauty that is TI-84 BASIC

Finally try the languages I wanted to try:
- Haskell
- Erlang
- Rust
- Prolog

Imagine yourself being a CTO back then.

Brand new Acura NSX. No MacBooks, ThinkPads are hot. Your company has its own skyscraper. CASE tools are just introduced and they’re hotter than blockchain now. You do software architecture in IBM Rational Rose, typing on your Model M and thinking really hard about Java OOP which is very hot right now.

You have Erlang servers at your own data center. You laugh at people writing in COBOL. You excited about aspect-oriented programming.

What a wonderful time.

I started at a company to develop an "uber" clone. Hired by the company's cto. I was happy initially as i had been unemployed for a while but that's because i didn't see the shitstorm coming. The task was build this using php, well 2 weeks later and db locking issues because mysql only allows 100 connections and the website takes over 200mb per request, i tried using the meteor framework, a lil better but the orphaned process would require me to reboot every 2 days. So enter erlang, built in 3 weeks works amazing problems none here... Well in comes the cto (which came in once a week). Apparently he had been reviewing my code and didn't understand it. He couldn't understand no for loops etc and demanded that it be made understandable to a normal dev. Did normal devs write uber no. Anyhow i spent the next 6 Weeks refactoring trying to make elixir looks like imperative programming, he finally gave up, so now I'm deep committed writing an API, finish in a week cto comes in and "why aren't you using patch" i don't need it, well another day implanting a patch api that will never be used. Ok done. Now we have a meeting with the investors who i worked in the same building with and they want a frontend built. I explained i was a backend dev and they needed a uiux expert. Next week cto comes back with this jquery fire pit and stolen bootstrap theme and take me with implementing it. This time we scrap the api change some of the backend logic and implement rest from the 90s one static page per request. After 3 months working with jquery I'm let go because of finical issues. I told them i was a backend dev but they didn't listen if the cto would've gotten a frontend expert things would be different but what to expect from a cto who's coding legacy is creating WordPress plugins.

Hopefully things will be better soon I'm tired of living on the streets.

Even in Erlang, the truth is always better than a lie.

Err...lang jokes

>Get java "From zero to hero" book at the age of 12
>Follow along and despair at all the java jargon
>write small programs for fun
>ff to 14yo
>Get my first android phone (galaxy S3)
>Get android 4.0 book
>Follow along and despair at all the android jargon
>Develop small apps for fun
>Learn Java, C and python for the rest of high school
>discover functional programming (erlang/elixir) towards the end of highschool
>love_at_first_sight.jpg
>Learn said language
>Find first job and current job right after that
>happy

Just in case anyone wonder how Erlang looks like.... Well here's a Caesar cipher programme.

They've just brought in a desk to my office. They're gonna bring another Dev in...
This guy apparently works Erlang, Ocaml, Python... I work all C# so this is bound to be fucking good! Hahaha I'm happy.

Finally!

Talking to a second year student about what they've learnt so far, and what they should learn next:

"Cool, so what general topics would you say you know really thoroughly at the moment?"

"Oh, I've now learnt Java, C#, C, C++, Rust, Javascript, node.js, HTML, CSS, Angular, Vue, Erlang and probably a bunch of other stuff I've forgotten. What do you think I should concentrate on next?"

"Hmm. Probably best to take just one of those and learn it really thoroughly."

"...but I already know them all really thoroughly."

"Ok. Can you explain what an abstract class is in say Java, C# or C++?"

"Sure, I can create a new class called abstract and then use it for abstraction. I do that loads."

...🤷‍♂️🤦‍♂️

First lesson: Stop BS'ing. Might work for flexing to non-devs, but that's about it.

Started learning erlang, the person who designed the language, Was he alien????

I’m doing abs of the day!
Abs of the day — Erlang

Haskell Clojure Rust Erlang

Haskell, Scala or Erlang?

I work with J2EE every day, especially Spring and Spring Boot.
I like it very much but when I am home I love tinkering with C++ (even tough I am a beginner in this language).
Is anyone else like this? It's like C++ has a misterious charm for me, not sure why. I also enjoy haskell and erlang, but keep at getting back at C++.

I'm trying to learn functional programming with Elixir. Wish me luck.

Erlang developers need stress relief as well.

PouchDB.

It promised full-blown CRDT functionality. So I decided to adopt it.

Disappointment number one: you have to use CouchDB, so your data model is under strict regulations now. Okay.

Disappointment number two: absolutely messed up hack required to restrict users from accessing other users’ data, otherwise you have to store all the user data in single collection. Not the most performant solution.

Disappointment number three: pagination is utter mess. Server-side timestamps are utter mess. ANY server-side logic is utter mess.

Just to set it to work, you need PouchDB itself, websocket adapter (otherwise only three simultaneous syncs), auth adapter (doesn’t work via sockets), which came out fucking large pile of bullshit at the frontend.

Disappointment number four, the final one: auth somehow works but it doesn’t set cookie. I don’t know how to get access.

GitHub user named Wohali, number one CouchDB specialist over there, doesn’t know that either.

It also doesn’t work at Incognito mode, doesn’t work at Firefox at all.

So, if you want to use PouchDB, bear that in mind:
1. CouchDB only
2. No server-side logic
3. Authorization is a mess
4. Error logs are mess too: “ERROR 83929629 broken pipe” means “out of disk space” in Erlang, the CouchDB language.
5. No hosting solutions. No backup solutions, no infrastructure around that at all. You are tied to bare metal VPS and Ansible.
6. Huge pile of bullshit at frontend. Doesn’t work at Incognito mode, doesn’t work at Firefox.

If you’re a developer who seek professional growth, there is no better way than learning other languages, even if nobody really uses them.

Pick a language and spend a weekend reading tutorials and most importantly writing code in it, something like game of life, sudoku solver or todo-list app.

The more alien the language feels the better. Try Clojure, OCaml, Smalltalk, Prolog, Erlang, and also weird esoteric languages like Piet.

Writing code that operates on alien concepts you see there is the quickest way of learning that concepts and reusing them in whatever language you’re making money with. Your professional growth will be immense.

I recently started learning Erlang. This is the story of how I got trapped into it.

When I code, I usually use my trusty text editor and a terminal to either compile my code or run tests in the language interpreter. The interpreter, erl, works fine, but when I wanted to close it, I ran into a small issue.
Because I never know what the command is to close an interpreter, I usually use the EOF character (^D), that is widely recognized. Except erl does not react to it, not even a tiny message saying it won't close or doesn't recognize the output.
Alright then, let's try quit. That's an atom, it does not behave how I want.
quit() is an undefined shell command, exit() terminates the shell process but the interpreter automatically starts a new one...
But I get the welcome message, telling me to abort with ^G! Some progress, finally... except ^G redirects from Erlang interpreter to user switch command. Damn, another interpreter...

I ended up killing the process from an other terminal.

Just started this (personal project) project a 2 minutes ago... I'm so turned on now , because this project in ELIXIR!😍

Alright everyone. Who uses elixir and how do you like it? Thinking of writing a fairly large application using elixir and Phoenix

After 2 interviews and a complex case study made to apply for Javascript Architect I was asked to travel from Brazil to Germany for final interview. First question:
Interviewer: what are things that you want to learn next.
Me (dumb): Maybe some functional language like Erlang
Interviewer: why not Javascript?
Me (dumber): Javascript is not that good for functional

Man, I WAS nervous that day 😭

Erlang... variables you can't vary? WTF!

Writing JS two weeks later...
const a =1
const b = a + 1
Why would I ever assign over a? Pfft.
const c = b + 1
...

It's a little hard to know when to use Dart,Go,Scala or Elexir in developing WebServices...

I wonder the creator of jQuery , Objective C , Erlang, what were they smoking while creating these programming languages......

Whenever I code in Erlang (server side) or Objective C (iOS) I can feel that the creator is damn high...

Objective C is weird that I have to call an object by allocation . Like get me thinking is that OOP? Or Functional.

Started a SIP / VoIP application in Erlang last year, no time to do it now because I'm so busy doing company's project ... 😭

I can't get over the fact that my company downgraded the project from Elixir Phoenix to nodejs express.

I asked them why, they told me, the elixir is difficult and blablabla. In my resume, I did mention I have the experience for 2 and a half years (phoenix one year) , I can do that. and previously the senior here used elixir for scalibility , etc. Personally, the system he built weren't bad at all.

now in nodejs , with the async await promise shit.

but 'we prefer old tech' they say . old is gold they say .

Wait nodejs isn't old. To me elixir is like Ruby and Erlang had sex and gave birth to it and named it elixir.

My preprocessor is just generalized kerning, the macros are variations on the single well-known proof for the Turing-completeness of GK, the type system will probably be a Prolog reskin so simple the translator can be a FSM, the type inference algo is the original HM algorithm which I don't even need to change, the core language is Lambda calculus and no more, and the backend might just be Erlang itself if my research confirms that extending LLVM until it consistently beats Erlang is unrealistic.

I invented nothing, I create nothing. All I do is plug circles into square holes and fill the gaps with play dough.

1. Finish/start to work on side projects
2. Learn Erlang or something similar
3. Read atleast one book per month (may or may not be related to programming)

Why do you lie to me like that, previous dev? WHY??!!

Favorite functional programming language and why. Go!

Well I begint to realise that Elixir looks like ruby .....

'Complicated is easy, but simple is hard☝️ '

- Robert Virding, the inventor of Erlang. You can never not apply this quote to anything in software engineering.

Love pattern matching, esp. in function clauses. No programming language can be considered feature rich without it. Yes, I'm looking at you, <mainstream programming language>

Curiosity
I try to read about stuff that is related to what I am doing. Trying to learn about design patterns. The most recent example being learning about the Actor Model when I worked on Orleans Grains in a project at my company. That lead to learning about erlang and akka.
These things excite me. Makes me think about every problem I have ever solved. Drives me to think from a multitude of perspectives in the future.

Since I quit binge-eating sugary stuff, my body became capable of feeling true hunger. Not in my stomach, as that kind of feeling in my body is probably fucked up forever, but in my head.

When I feel hungry, it’s probably too late. This is exactly what I feel:
- dizziness
- FOV slightly decreases
- tunnel vision, things in peripheral vision become blurry and obscure. I “see” them, but my brain doesn’t process them quite as good
- colors become less saturated
- it’s very difficult to combine and analyse multiple concepts to derive a conclusion, basically the thing I do at work that wins me bread
- thought process becomes “single-threaded”. I can follow just one thought at a time and cannot go deeper than 3-4 levels, my brain just drops it by making the whole thought feel like some kind of slimy clay that cannot be comprehended, let alone expressed with words
- difficult to express thoughts with language, I have hard time talking, especially explaining
- want to sleep, but can’t, as brain is frantically trying to stay awake

It’s probably the mechanism developed evolutionary. That single thread remains active at all costs to allow me to find food, and brain doesn’t let me sleep, as it thinks if I fall asleep I’ll die. It’s amusing to see my brain actively killing thoughts that are not “important”, I feel like a real-time OS or an Erlang application. Perhaps thinking is really a very costly process in terms of how much energy it takes.

When I finally eat something, especially if it’s a proper meal, I feel a very pleasant sensation, probably it’s my brain telling me “thank you”, releasing dopamine to actively reinforce that “finding food is a very very good thing and it’s very important”. FOV pops back into place, peripheral vision becomes clean and sharp, thoughts awaken, eager to occupy all the treads that became available.

VP: We need to build a new platform for flexibility!

Architect: Let's do micro services!

One year later...

Now we have "micro services" in Elixir, Go, Node.js and PHP.

Not to mention our prehistorical products in Erlang and PHP...

I've just started to take one of those DIY Learn Chinese in "X" days.
Not sure I think I am a little confused which is hard make these different sound in Chinese or trying make sense of some of that Erlang syntax...

Found something like this on the code today…

my_fun() ->
ANestedList = [["Just one element"]],
IndividualResults =
[change_stuff(InnerList)
|| InnerList <- ANestedList],
lists:append(IndividualResults).

Seriously, previous dev? I understand LCs are _cool_, but… really???

---
For non-erlangers: that function can be written as:

my_fun() ->
change_stuff(["single element"]).

When will there be Haskell, Erlang or APL shirts?
I wanna have one with a cool language as my profile pic

Golang is like Erlang
Noone ever heard of them and likely one project justifying their existence was written

Any Erlang devs in the UK looking for a new challenge?

DevOps With Ruby and Chef on FreeBSD (and Linux)

I am Ops and Dev by heart. I have always automated *nix systems long before any automation framework was invented because I am pretty lazy. Doing stuff more than once manually is just one time too often for me. Imho Ruby is a really elegant language. The same applies for the tools that are built around it. The Chef ecosystem fits into this with its own elegance and stability perfectly because the server is Erlang driven and the rest is Ruby.
Being a Linux and BSD user since the early 90s I have always loved a *nix system for it's concepts and simplicity. One command for exactly one purpose and everything is combineable like letters are combinable to words in my mother language. I have always loved FreeBSD more though. Imho it is even more focused on simplicity. Because it is a really clean approach of system design that envies a base system and keeps 3rd party separated in a clean way for example. It also values classic UNIX philosophies that most Linux distros these days abandon but which saved my life multiple times through better design and execution that also focuses alot more on stability, fault tolerance and ease of use than any Linux I have come across. The hardcore guys should read "Design and Implementation of the FreeBSD Operating System", compare the readings to the Linux way of things and see for themselves.*

*The author acknowledges that this text is his opinion and just his wet dream alone and may not be of any relevance for the sexual lifes of everybody else

Is comparing Erlang to Elixir the same as comparing Perl with PHP?

So Erlang my friend, spotting the missing ; was not enough for you, now I have to spot the missing .

Anyone tried Phoenix framework? What's your feedback? How's the learning experience?

I believe that there's some evil dark magic in the BEAM that detects if the user or developer is on a non *nix machine and then purposefully throws all kinds of strange errors or just fucking blows itself up for no reason. Take the shit to a *nix machine and it just works like magic and is easy to work with which is part of the reason why I love it and the ecosystem.

Any Erlang/Elixir devs in the UK looking for a position in a multinational company?

Any Erlang guys over here ?

I am getting into it after trying elixir, just to get solid foundations (understand it better and otp)

The goal is to get erlang elixir and pheonix undercontrol

Now my questions:

Any good reads about maintenance scalability in a prod environment ?

Thanks

This post is going to be long and it might not be the platform to ask for it's mainly for ranting yet I wanted to ask a non toxic community.
I'm mainly an ABAP programmer working on an SAP system for my living. No matter how people inside the SAP sphere look at it, it's not exactly cutting edge technology in the world of software development. (and in my opinion it's not even a knife)
As I work in an enterprise environment I have trouble about finding gaps where I can learn newer technologies and thus, I've decided to learn in my free time.
I tend to tilt toward web development as do many I know because I see potential in the GUI which HTML and CSS achieve. And I do believe that combining that with languages such as JS, Python, Ruby, Erlang and Elixir can give way to a healthy experience both in Web development and even desktop development.
In order to avoid overwhelming myself I wish to start with learning web development. Time is not of the essence because I plan to continue working with ABAP for close future, around the next 2 years, and I'm young.
I wanted to ask the community, is there any developer in here that was in the same position and can give out some pointers to the path they took? Is it wise to start my path from HTML5 and CSS3 without looking back to the older ways? Any resource you'd share will be welcomed.

Getting pattern transparency tattooed on my forearm god damn you Erlang