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What it's like to be a network engineer...translated into normal people speak
User: I think we are having a major road issue.
Me: What? No, I just checked, the roads are fine. I was actually just on the roads.
User: No, I’m pretty sure the roads are down because I’m not getting pizzas.
Me: Everything else on the roads is fine. What do you mean you aren’t getting pizzas?
User: I used to get pizzas when I ordered them, now I’m not getting them. It has to be a road issue.
Me: As I said, the roads are fine. Where are you getting pizzas from?
User: I’m not really sure. Can you check all places that deliver pizzas?
Me: No I don’t even know all the places that deliver pizza. You need to narrow it down.
User: I think it is Subway.
Me: Okay, I’ll check…No, I just looked and Subway doesn't deliver pizzas.
User: I’m pretty sure it is Subway. Can you just allow all food from Subway and we can see if pizza shows up?
Me: Sigh, fine I’ve allowed all food from Subway, but I don’t think that is the issue.
User: Yeah I’m still not getting pizza. Can you check the roads?
Me: It’s not the roads, the roads are fine. I’m pretty sure Subway isn’t the place.
User: Okay, I found it. It’s Papa Johns.
Me: Okay, I looked and Papa Johns does deliver pizza. Is it the local Papa Johns or one in a different town?
User: I don’t know. Can you allow pizza from all Papa Johns to me?
Me: No I can’t do that. Can you get me an address for Papa Johns?
User: No, I only know it as Papa Johns. Can you get me all the addresses of all Papa Johns and I’ll tell you if one of them is correct?
Me: No, I don’t have time for that. Okay, I looked at the local one and it looks like they have sent you pizza in the past and they are currently allowed to send you pizzas. Try ordering a pizza while I watch.
User: Yeah still no pizza. I’m guessing they are getting blocked at the freeway. Can you check the freeway to make sure they can get through?
Me: No, this is a local delivery. They aren't even using the freeway.
User: Okay, well then it has to be a road issue.
Me: No, the roads are fine. Okay, I just drove from the Papa Johns to the address they have on file for you and there is nothing there.
User: Hmm, wait we did move recently.
Me: Did you give your new address to Papa Johns?
User: No, I just thought they would be able to look me up by name.
Me: No they need your new address. What’s your new address?
User: I’m not really sure. Can you look it up?
Me: Sigh, give me a second…Okay, I found your address and gave it to Papa Johns. Try ordering a pizza now.
User: HEY! PIZZA JUST SHOWED UP!
Me: Okay, good.
User: (To everyone else they know) I apologize for the delay in the pizza but there was a major road issue that was preventing the pizza from getting to me. The network engineer has fixed the roads and we are able to get pizza again.
Me: But it wasn’t the roads…whatever.
User: Oh, can you also check on an issue where Chinese food isn’t getting to me? I think it may be a road issue36 -
Chinese app programmer fights product manager for asking the app UI to "change color according to user phone case"
14 -
I plan to write a book about my previous company because I had such a magical experience in that fairy land. I spent three years with indigenous tribes out of touch from the modern human civilization. They take pride in their culture and their use of MS Excel and SVN technologies.
Over the years, these tribes discovered how to organize a queuing system through Skype group chats. If a tribe member wants to update the spreadsheet, they will enter their name in the group chat until it forms a queue (name1 > name2 and so on..) and once they're done, they enter "Done" in the group chat.
It's amazing how these tribes came up with such an efficient and systematic approach of wasting their lives! Researchers are baffled with this newly uncovered secret that some of them believe it could be the work of an advanced alien civilization. There's just no way humans could have thought of that.
These tribes have a lot to teach us. Hell, I know it taught me some knowledge I wouldn't otherwise find in the modern world. During my stay there, I learned the following:
1. Why hell is good after all.
2. How to fake a coma.
3. How to recover from a stroke in 5 minutes.
4. The art of astral projection during a meeting.
5. Is that a subliminal message or are you passive aggressive?
6. What clients want = anal fisting.
7. How to stealthily check your pulse when talking to someone really stupid.
8. "Sent emails will be received" - a tribe member.
9. Hardcoding a dollar sign + shell command to make it work.
10. How to make a scrum meeting last for two hours.
11. How to collect bus tickets like a peasant for transportation reimbursement.
12. What's that smell and why does he keep sniffing it? A colleague's expired lunch.
13. Why it's wrong to confront a colleague who's always three hours late.
14. How to play Nintendo Switch in two big screens and a projector in the boardroom with glass walls.
15. Pretending this life is virtual reality.
16. Why you're not in GTA and running everyone over with your car is bad.
17. Vivisection for dummies.
18. Summoning the devil for entertainment.
19. Devil worship during working sessions.
20. The kama sutra of assasination.
21. How to speed up the dying process.
22. Is it a stiff client or rigor mortis?
23. How to control your laughter when someone is crying.
24. How to control your laughter when someone just died.
25. Your manager is not a pocket pussy, stop it.
26. Why some clients don't die of old age.
27. Easy occult symbols for your bullet journal.
28. How to insert subliminal messages for mass suicide in your members' Trello boards.
29. 82 handy methods of torture.
30. Can you get a maternity and paternity leave at the same time if you're a single parent?
31. How to reason with your inner demons.
32. That laptop costs too much to break it on someone's face.
33. Masturbation while working from home.
34. "Honesty system" = We don't have the resources to automate this.
35. How to get reincarnated as a cockroach.
36. That creature with a tiny voice is human too. Yep, she's a team member.
37. Why does that Hodor look-alike keep touching you?
38. Gee. That IT bitch's face is shaped like a half moon.
39. How to program by clicking buttons.
40. Does your manager count as a human sacrifice?
41. How to encourage your colleagues to sacrifice a Chinese co-worker to an active volcano on their outing.
42. Playing porn in a colleague's wireless bluetooth speaker.
43. Tinder swiping during meetings.
44. Using a ticket management system in the dev environment.
45. How to estimate and then change that estimate later on to fit your actual hours.
46. How to shoot down that ungrateful fuck.
47. How to dissolve your team after you've disappeared.
48. How to tell if you're actually dead.
49. How to plan a massacre for some mental stimulation.
50. Eating with a one liter bottle of muriatic acid on your desk and convincing your colleagues that it burns fat and they should try mixing it with their coffee.
And so much more. My heart is still heavy from all these wonderful experiences that I decided to write a book about it. The world should know about this.16 -
Da Fuck!?!
Yesterday I found some abnormal activity on my server, someone was trying to brute force my ssh as root since two days! Started raging and installed fail2ban (which automatically bans an IP if it fails to log X times and eventually sends me an email). Woke up this morning to find that a fucking Chinese guy/malware spent the whole night trying to brute Force me!
Fucking cunt! Don't you have any better to do!!
My key is a 32 characters long encrypted key, with the ban he can try 3 passwords /2 hours, good luck brute forcing it you bitch!
39 -
skype interview with chinese it vp,
vp: do u know cow-computing?
me: sorry what?
vp: cow computing
me: really can't hear you, did u mean actual Cow computing?
vp: i mean cow! you know like in the sky.
me: oohhhh, cloud computing.. (face turns red over embarrassment) -
After 3-4 FUCKING hours I finally found a bootstrap thingy which properly centers a div!
In my defense, this shit is all Chinese to me so it's copy-paste-lets-hope-this-works 😅26 -
You know you're fucked when google returns less than a page of results on your short three word query. The first result is the only question on SO related to your problem un-answered for two years and the rest of them are in Chinese or Russian.9
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Chinese co-workers visiting in our European office would just loudly fart in the office, no problem.
Then they'd be VERY embarrassed at someone using a toothpick after lunch.
Interesting cultural differences.4 -
*pops open some Chinese USB Bluetooth dongle*
*finds a chip inside that seems to be a controller*
"Google, what's the datasheet for this thing?"
> Your search - 653uw1f1 - did not match any documents.
I'm doomed... 😟
Finding Easter eggs is hard you say? Try a datasheet 😑37 -
Yikes, this headline appeared in my feed:
Chinese man sentenced to 5 years in jail for running VPN.
😲10 -
Samsung.
They basically have Chinese crapware on many phones, disguised as "Smart Manager" or some bs. It's "powered by Clean Master". Clean Master is crapware developed by Cheetah Mobile.12 -
This one is about the SJWs in the software development community.
SJWs in general are a bunch of crying assholes.. software developers who are activists in online software dev sites are even worst.
Days ago, my visual studio 2019 RC notified me of a new version so I decided to look at the release notes. It was then when I read the most stupid fix ever included in a change log: "Visual Studio installer welcome image contains offensive element for Chinese."
FUUUUCK YOU.
Do you wanna know what that super offensive element in that image was? A GUY ON A BIKE WEARING A GREEN FUCKING HAT. Apparently in China this means someone's wife or sister is a prostitute.
I clicked on the link to read the actual feedback... and holy shit isn't that Chinese idiot an actual raging cunt.
In his stupid OP he is quoted saying: "this is serious".. FUCK YOU... your entire existence CAN NOT and SHOULD NOT be considered SERIOUS at all you whining dick sucking asshole.
And to make matters worst: a "fix" was released for this within days and immediately made available to everyone.
Motherfucking assholes in Microsoft took this guy's shit seriously and were scared shitless not to offend a snowflake abomination of an excuse of a human being.
Who gives a crap.. if you are offended and you publicly announce it, you are telling everyone that you are a pathetic child who can't control his feelings and wants everyone else to do it for him/her.
Well assholes at Microsoft and the Chinese offended by this shit, removing the green hat is offensive to the Irish people... would you re-instate it? NO YOU WON'T.
Why? well this is easy to answer: Irish people are white. White people, by standards of SJW cucks, can't be offended and reverse racism doesn't exist towards white people.
I hope that Chinese cunt, and if he has a girlfriend which I very much doubt since he had time to make that stupid feedback in the first place, to die slowly, bleeding from every hole and some newly created ones too, while watching his girlfriend get fucked by a high-ranking member of the ruling communist party of his Chinese gov and she is enjoying it and with a big smile on her face just so he can die feeling like the shit human being he is.
People on that feedback thread have urged MS to revert the change, asked MS to direct resources at fixing things that are as trivial as this but yet to be addressed... only MS didn't give a fuck.
Here's the link to the feedback thread for those interested: https://developercommunity.visualstudio.com/...
If that asshole is here on devRant, here me out you raging cunt: I couldn't give a fuck less about you shit feelings or your stupid activism but I do care when idiots like you influence great software (incl. open source projects) just to feel good about yourself, to feel like you've accomplished something this week.
FUCK YOU all the way to hell.
For all other assholes (AKA SJWs) in the software community: software/computers don't give a fuck about your feelings. I'll beat you down to the depths of hell if you come at me with your progressive/equality/political correctness crap any day of the week... you just pick the day and I'm happy to oblige.
54 -
I cannot find a job because I don't have experience and I cannot get experience because I don't have a job.
-- Ancient Chinese Proverb6 -
Long long ago...
In a country far far away...
I ordered a t-shirt from Ali Express.
It never arrived.
I demanded the refund and it was processed.
I forget about it.
Yesterday a courier arrived.
It is the t-shirt.
I open it out of excitement. Check the quality and tag.
Everything is made in China. EVERYTHING, INCLUDING YOU, ME, NEIGHBOUR'S DOG, YOUR GF'S LINGERIE, THIS EARTH AND UNIVERSE.
EVEN GOD HIMSELF WAS MADE THERE.
EXCEPT FOR THIS T-SHIRT.
THIS IS MADE IN BANGLADESH AND WAS SHIPPED TO ME FROM CHINA BY A CHINESE MERCHANT.
HAHAHAHA HILARIOUS.
14 -
Was watching a Chinese movie and there's a scene where someone is getting hacked, and this is the fucking code that they are show as the "hacking code". How hard would it have been to find something more legitimate than this?
If I hadn't had a few $0.69 hamburgers from McDonald's today, I would be more upset.
17 -
How I've got my previous job?
Imagine you are in a wild techno club. Dark aisles, A dj from berlin behind the turntables blasting out hard beats, couples kissing on extasy pills.
And there was a friend I've didn't meet in ages. "how do you do?" she asks. "ah... you know i'm on a job hunt for a year i feel misrable". "really? my dad is looking for somebody, send him your resNZNZNZ!" "WHAT? can't hear you!" "Send him your resume!" "Ahhh! okay great!"
So on 24. december 5pm, snow outside, i've sat on wooden table in the kitchen of her father discussing the conditions for the job. It was the start of a crazy time. Dining with millionaires on their Castles. Shaking hands with top businesses leaders. Going to China and having dinner with the 500 richest chinese at once. Wild!
so my advice for you nerds, don't stay in your comfort zone behind the screen on weekends. Vistit a techno club sometimes. You may find a pretty girl/boy with a CEO as a father.16 -
I'm a backender, Linuxer (servers + cli included) and security person.
For some projects I do need to write my own frontends and that, in general, IS my worst css experience.
HTML is quite manageable but CSS, except for the basics, is fucking Chinese to me.
So yeah, about every goddamn project that includes ME having to do frontend stuff is/has been the worst HTML/CSS experience.17 -
Anyone else heard of this cool little device? (GPD Win, an obscure Chinese computer that is like a Nintendo DS but it has an x64 processor and runs full windows 10)
23 -
Storytime
A story about an Android TVbox which decided to become an iPad
Several years ago we've bought an android tv-box.
It served me and my family well for several years.
Specs are not that important in this story, but there they are:
Android 4.4
1GB RAM
Amlogic quadcore 1.4HGz
8GB memory.
This device served us well - online TV, browsing, music, file sharing and so on. But recently cheap Chinese memory deciteed to take a break and damaged ROM. Because of that device won't boot. The only option was to take it apart and "short circuit" certain legs on memory chip and make it boot from SD card and install new firmware. After such operations tv-box worked well again.
Hoverer, memory glitched again and again and this algorithm was repeated for several months.
But that is not what is this story about.
One day memory went completely crazy and there was no way to install new firmware on it. It just hanged on install. (BTW, it was official firmware for this device)
But after countless attempts it finally worked! It installed the firmware and booted into launcher and connected to WiFi!
But now comes the most interesting part.
It was not android anymore.
It decided to became an iPad.
My dad logged in to his Google account via tv-box and got mail that someboby connected from our IP via iPad (we don't have an iPad) and using safari browser! Stock browser is not safari browser.....
"Ok, nvm, crazy glitch." - we thought.
But preinstalled play marked wont launch. Because he told us, that we're trying to connect from iPad.
And Google chrome page suggested to download chrome for iPad
And everything was acting like it is an iPad.
OK, downloaded iTunes, why not??? ._.
Tried to install elixir for android via apk from flash, but then memory glitched one more time, everything went black and tv-box had damaged ROM again...
After that we decided to not torment it anymore...
That's it. Poor Android TVbox that all his life dreamed to become an iPad. Rest in peace.2 -
Well that's a first.
A Chinese recruiter contacted me speaking entirely in what I suspect was Mandarin.
My resume and posted work experience lacks any mention of Mandarin, Cantonese, etc. Then again it also lacks any mention of Java, and yet recruiters still call me a Java master. 🤔23 -
Yet another rant about crappy electronic designs.
Just now I was cleaning my desk and stumbled upon some old hard drive in a caddy that I still had laying around.. I figured, let's plug it in and see whether the drive still works. And to some extent, it does! Except that every few minutes it craps out on me. And after disassembling the caddy, I think that I know why.
Just as background information, hard drives work at 12V and generally require about 10W to spin their motor. Meanwhile USB operates at 5V. So a boost converter needs to be present in the controller to step up the voltage and power the drive.
Now what's a boost converter? It's an inductor, a capacitor, a transistor and a diode in a specific arrangement (if you're interested in the design, check out https://youtube.com/watch/...), along with feedback circuitry to stabilize output voltage. Now that transistor is important.. it switches at very high frequency, and its rise and fall times create heat. In the particular transistor used in that controller, it apparently causes the transistor to operate at 65-68°C. That's quite toasty IMO, and overheating may be why the controller is so unstable. But the Chinese manufacturers thought that it's just fine and okay to be sold without heatsink or some research into transistors with better rise and fall times.
So the hard drive craps out on me and yet again it's because of certified shitdesigns. MOTHERFUCKTURERS!!!!27 -
A previous co-worker (dev) bought a "foot mouse" he found on a Chinese website, then changed his keyboard's layout to match the "natural human cognitive ability" also bought a sleeping bag because he needed a "power nap" after lunch break he even asked our MD to buy him an ergonomic chair which would cost around 1200 USD ( of course our MD refused) then the worst of the worst, he had this habit of chewing his food loudly when he's eating something he likes.
One time our operations manager (she was pregnant XD) screamed at him from her desk " RAYAAAAN SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH I CAN HEAR IT FROM HERE DAMN IT"
He literally spilled some of the food he was chewing on his desk and I burst out laughing like crazy.
On the same day our MD told us to follow a new "no food in office" policy 😂😂😂
Sad story is that when he left the company I had to revert his PC to how it was including resetting the keyboard layout to default, remember his "foot mouse" ? Well he had to modify the mouse settings so all directions were inverted.
The first thing I said when I turned on his laptop was
FUCK YOU RAYAN!!3 -
Every time I use Javascript it feels like flying a plane with no gas in the middle of nowhere, all buttons in Chinese, only driving knowedge is scooters and yet somehow I land the plane in its destination.5
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MARKETING FUUUUUCCCKSSSS!!!
The fact that I publish a contact email address on my GitHub profile for email about my fucking GitHub doesn't justify sending me unsolicited shit!! I get that you want your product out there, I get that you don't want to pay for.. you know, regular fucking advertisements, just like everyone else, because your product is entitled to special treatment, right?!
Let me tell you something, Yaren Sahin. Just like with Clark from InVision and the Chinese motherfuckers with their injection moulds from earlier, this is a clear reminder for me to avoid your unethical business like the plague! Fucking piece of shit!!
(better quality screenshot: https://i.imgur.com/ZL3ebFZ.png)
Which by the way I'm actually legally allowed to upload, because this email was unsolicited. You know, because unlike those marketing people I happen to know the laws a bit.
4 -
I just discovered my server being brute forced over SSH by over 25 different IPs per minute. WHAT THE FUCK?! It's not even a public website... Now I installed fail2ban.40
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Never thought I will be hired by Chinese software/hardware company located in NYC to code in languages I don't know so well. Instead of lying and saying I know everything about C, PHP and SQL, I said that I suck pretty much at everything, but I'm a quick learner and will study day and night to catch up with their practices. Now I see they have no regret about me, but I still suspect them in hiring me because there is another guy who is Russian too and we all communicate well. Our current squad is 17 Chinese, 2 Russians, 1 Americans. Guess what, I learn Mandarin quicker than PHP. Sometimes a small lie is OK, but sometimes honesty is better.3
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In Italy (Milan)🇮🇹, job hunting is a fucking hell for misfits like me:
• Young(26)
• 1 year(working) experience + continuous learning/improvement at home
• Skillful and adaptable full-stack
• Willing to do greater things with software without being payed like a monkey
This is the last week working at my current company (from which I rejected the renewal of the contract for 26K€/13 months) and almost every time at a new interview everyone tries to down sell me by default or because of the fucking little time that I've been inside companies without even looking at my skills/capabilities.
Also many little companies made by the CEO and a technical manager that are looking for someone from which being provided food 😒(metaphorically).
(On another side, in one month, me and my gf need to move to a new apartment, the renting process sucks, and she has issues to find a non-slavering job because she is a foreigner(with good knowledge of English and Chinese) with very basic understanding of Italian and I see her crying often in my arms because it's hard and stressful for her to become economically independent as she would like to be)47 -
Paranoid Developers - It's a long one
Backstory: I was a freelance web developer when I managed to land a place on a cyber security program with who I consider to be the world leaders in the field (details deliberately withheld; who's paranoid now?). Other than the basic security practices of web dev, my experience with Cyber was limited to the OU introduction course, so I was wholly unprepared for the level of, occasionally hysterical, paranoia that my fellow cohort seemed to perpetually live in. The following is a collection of stories from several of these people, because if I only wrote about one they would accuse me of providing too much data allowing an attacker to aggregate and steal their identity. They do use devrant so if you're reading this, know that I love you and that something is wrong with you.
That time when...
He wrote a social media network with end-to-end encryption before it was cool.
He wrote custom 64kb encryption for his academic HDD.
He removed the 3 HDD from his desktop and stored them in a safe, whenever he left the house.
He set up a pfsense virtualbox with a firewall policy to block the port the student monitoring software used (effectively rendering it useless and definitely in breach of the IT policy).
He used only hashes of passwords as passwords (which isn't actually good).
He kept a drill on the desk ready to destroy his HDD at a moments notice.
He started developing a device to drill through his HDD when he pushed a button. May or may not have finished it.
He set up a new email account for each individual online service.
He hosted a website from his own home server so he didn't have to host the files elsewhere (which is just awful for home network security).
He unplugged the home router and began scanning his devices and manually searching through the process list when his music stopped playing on the laptop several times (turns out he had a wobbly spacebar and the shaking washing machine provided enough jittering for a button press).
He brought his own privacy screen to work (remember, this is a security place, with like background checks and all sorts).
He gave his C programming coursework (a simple messaging program) 2048 bit encryption, which was not required.
He wrote a custom encryption for his other C programming coursework as well as writing out the enigma encryption because there was no library, again not required.
He bought a burner phone to visit the capital city.
He bought a burner phone whenever he left his hometown come to think of it.
He bought a smartphone online, wiped it and installed new firmware (it was Chinese; I'm not saying anything about the Chinese, you're the one thinking it).
He bought a smartphone and installed Kali Linux NetHunter so he could test WiFi networks he connected to before using them on his personal device.
(You might be noticing it's all he's. Maybe it is, maybe it isn't).
He ate a sim card.
He brought a balaclava to pentesting training (it was pretty meme).
He printed out his source code as a manual read-only method.
He made a rule on his academic email to block incoming mail from the academic body (to be fair this is a good spam policy).
He withdraws money from a different cashpoint everytime to avoid patterns in his behaviour (the irony).
He reported someone for hacking the centre's network when they built their own website for practice using XAMMP.
I'm going to stop there. I could tell you so many more stories about these guys, some about them being paranoid and some about the stupid antics Cyber Security and Information Assurance students get up to. Well done for making it this far. Hope you enjoyed it.
41 -
I just love when someone writes variables in Polish/German/Russian/Chinese/Esperanto/Klingon or any other language that is not an English33
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Um.. yea I've published a GDPR contact email on our website, for issues about our privacy policy. Not sure if you Chinese marketing fucks behind the GFW know what this regulation is about though. I'm not interested in your stupid moulds.
Perhaps that firewall of China could use some further tightening... 😒
4 -
Can we ever have a truly democratic and uncensored Internet?
I am writing this in irritation and anger as I read a story headlined " Apple CEO backs China’s vision of an ‘open’ Internet as censorship reaches new heights"
Appearantly "Open Internet" as the Chinese Government understands it is, "you can say whatever you want as long as we like it". And Apple being the ass-kissing, 730-million-customer-seeking, co**suckers that they are is only happy to comply. They even removed 674 VPN apps from the Chinese version of their App Store last year to comply with government rules, stating "We strongly believe that participating in markets and bringing benefits to consumers is in the best interests of folks there and in other countries as well, We believe in engaging in governments even when we disagree.”
That was Cook by the way.
Thats two fucking contradictory statements rolled into one!!
Anyway, I know private companies are well within their rights to do what they want to make profits. And I understand Apple might not be at fault totally. But its just so frustrating... :-(
The Net Neutrality repeal in the US, this, the Aadhar shit in India and lots of other stuff thats been happening around the world, that just blatantly undermine Civil Rights and freedom makes me imagine that only a bleak future sits on horizon. Almost Orwellian.
If only people would just realise and revolt a bit... probably we would have a different future then..
I hope I am wrong and this is just the pessimist in me speaking.14 -
A continuation to @n3xus's post.
My only Chinese reseller / eBay experience is getting these two arduinos for about $3.50 CAD . Worth it. And only slightly scared of them catching on fire.
10 -
To the guy who shits religiously at 2pm everyday and leaves the door open, making me have to stand up to put an end to the foul smell:
alert("FUCK YOU");
And what's most disturbing is that I've grown accustomed to his shit's smell.
Shit.9 -
Just disassembled 2 €5 desk fans because they were shit.. and so is their design apparently.
What I found inside was actually surprisingly simple.. a toddler could build it. It's just a DC motor, a 3PDT switch, DC barrel connector, some wires and screws to hold stuff in place. Oh and the plastic thingie with the fan blades, as well as the USB cable of course.
5 fucking euros. The combined cost of the components would be less than 3, certified motherfuckturers. Time to build it, injection moulding, transportation, sure.. but still.
And if you think that being salty about €5 is cheap shittalk, expand that to every fucking piece of electronics that doesn't cost a small fortune.. at all price ranges. Could be radios, alarm clocks, heck even phones. Shit's way too expensive for what it's worth. Perhaps because so many people in the industry are just here for a quick buck.. motherfuckers 😒
Anyway, back to the design.. the hole in the fan blade thingie is supposed to get the motor's shaft shafted in, to turn the blades. I'd use glue there.. but not these designers. They just shove it in and hope that friction takes care of everything. And one of the fan blade modules' hole was so wide that inserting the motor is like throwing a sausage down the hallway. No contact at all! Make it tight already like the Chinese designer's glory-...
Nah let's not get into Chinese tightness just yet.
Oh and also a resistor for slow mode. Consumes just as much power except the fan turns slower. Because fuck efficiency, right?
Goddammit, next time I'm just gonna build my own again.. at least that wouldn't be a certified piece of shit 😑
7 -
!programming
Anyone else gets peeved when you're insulted in a language your insulter thinks you don't speak?
I was at the indoor climbing gym, struggling halfway up a difficult route when a fat idiot attached to a 'Intro to Climbing' class howled to her friends "Look at that blind idiot, can't he see that big red piece beside his foot?" (I was climbing a green route) in Cantonese (a Chinese dialect).
😒9 -
So I came back to my hometown for Chinese New Year (or Lunar New Year), the first thing I was asked by my parents was "Can you fix the landline?" 🙃🙃🙃3
-
Why you should buy XXX phones...
Samsung: ＥＤＧＥ
LG: ＬＯＲＥＭ ＩＰＳＵＭ
Huawei/Xiaomi/Chinese models: ＩＮＮＯＶＡＴＩＶＥ ＣＯＰＹＣＡＴ
iPhone: ＡＥＳＴＨＥＴＩＣ
Pixel: ＪＵＳＴ ＤＩＦＦＥＲＥＮＴ ＳＯＭＥＨＯＷ
Nokia: ＳＮＡＫＥ21 -
Do you know when you think "Oh that doesn't look too hard. I bet I can do it in no time"?
That is how I felt when I saw the DIY 3D printer kit Anet A8. It's only 150€ on gearbest so that is pretty cheap.
The reviews said it takes about 3 - 4 hours to build and I though "Ok I am a computer specialist and engineer so 3h sounds reasonable".
When I bought it from gearbest the first problems started: 5 days after the estimated shipping date the packet was still not on its way. After I fucked the support up, it finally arrived 3 weeks after the estimated date.
When I took the first look, everything seemed to be fine except for some small scratches but for that price that is not a problem.
So I started to build the printer at about 14:00 and even if some random sites in the manual were in Chinese I felt confident to get it done in a view hours.
And then it started to get really fucked. The first problem was that 2 screws were unusable and I had to use my own screws instead. The next problem was that the manual was just in the wrong fucking order at some points and I had to reverse multiple steps to get it right.
But the most fucked up thing: There should have been 2 threaded rods with a length of 345mm but the rods had a length of 310mm which was nowhere listed in the parts list. So I had to go buy some aluminium rods to fill the gap temporary so that I can at least go on with the build before getting a replacement. And I could go on and on and with the problems but the point is, it is now 19:30 which is about 5.5 hours after I started and I am still not fucking done with this.
So what have I learned?
Cheap Chinese hardware is good, but only as long as you don't have to assemble that shit yourself.2 -
Specs of a Chinese High End PC :
Itel Core i7 6969K
Nvida GX 180 ti
Cosair 8 GigaBoobs RAM
This was a joke please don't take it seriously 😂7 -
Why I hate my job: 18 out of 21 developers are Chinese daily smokers barely speak English.
Why I love my job: We build software/hardware to predict future earthquakes and save lives and hundred million or even billions dollars in damages. And of course make China super rich by selling it.10 -
US House Intelligence Committee: we can't trust equipment made by Huawei and ZTE since they may collaborate with the Chinese government
A black hat hacker: If you pay me a hundred bucks a month, you can use my infrastructure to monitor all communications and web traffic from any specific handset registered to a US Telecom. They discovered the breach nearly a year ago and haven't cut my access or sought to patch any of the vulnerabilities I utilized
US House Intelligence Committee: The only way to ensure the operational security of our government and safety of our citizens is to continue relying on American hardware and critical communications infrastructure and also let the FCC further deregulate it4 -
Chinese powerbanks are so fucking dangerous. Cheap price = cheap quality. Alright, I get it, but that's not my point.
Today my dad gave me his powerbank and wanted me to upgrade it.
A 50k mAh powerbank, but it is far away from 50k mAh. He bought 12 6000mAh rechargeable batteries.
Before I started replacing it and resoldering the powerbank, I decided to open up the Chinese 50k mAh battery. A lot of aluminum foils covering the batteries. That's not great. A very high chance for a short circuit to happen.
Anyways, I carefully took the aluminum cover halfway out.
I took a (plier?) with plastic handles and grabbed the pack of batteries with it to not put myself into danger.
And BOOM! A short circuit.
Btw. It smelled very weird when I took the aluminum cover off of the pack.
28 -
Maybe !rant ???
Today some chinese guys found my License Server IP(Linux Based) and started bruteforcing my SSH. My reponse is: Fail2Ban, and then when it gets triggered, it sends a request to the abuseipdb,and this way I might help other people too... Do you think my idea is good?
24 -
Idk if anyone here noticed.... sudo sounds like 速度 in Chinese, which means quickly. So the every time I use this command I just feel like I'm rushing computer to do something for me5
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I've just found out that the Chinese can even fuck up the most basic of manufacturing processes. A goddamn fucking perfboard, why on Earth would that need good adhesive with decent mechanical strength, right?!!
Initially I was told by other electronics chaps that the adhesive under the pads melts because I'm soldering at such a high temperature (470°C). Well I thought at the time that these boards are really shitty and their adhesive is garbage, and now that I've even seen a cold pad just rip off cleanly, I guess it's confirmed. That adhesive IS fucking garbage and that temperature on the iron is really just fine.
Well, I guess that I'll just design my own PCB's then, and hope that JLCPCB isn't even more Chinesium shit. Because honestly I'm pretty fucking sick of it.4 -
I fucking love the vsCode "search everywhere" function, it saved me countless times with chinese frameworks, holy shit.3
-
I believe @Jase/@jAsE/@theRealJase/@myAss is an outsourced devRant account managed by poor chinese dogs paid by a rotten ratmeat.
Edit: And I am his ++ bot.1 -
Bought a new Chinese phone a few months back but the battery is already bad as fuck (my fourth Chinese phone, first bad battery). Define bad, every minute of devRanting was 1 percent of battery gone.
It was empty after like two hours of usage :(.
So just went back to my old phone (6000 mAh) and after two hours I am at 86 percent!
Man, this relieve 😀23 -
I thought I'd opened every shitty type of Chinese-grade electronics by now. Glued in shit, ultrasonically welded shit, potted shit. And occasionally the now very rare piece of electronics that has actual screws.
Until now. Remington, apparently yet another company filled with certified enganeers. My razor is from them, and I wanted to open it up to see why the lithium cell inside was failing, and to replace it with a bigger one. 2 screws in the back of the unit, Phillips head. But holy fuck, those things sat in there more tightly than the glory hole of the Asian girl that probably assembled this thing. Externalizing our own features in our craft? Check!
Pretty hard to remove them but that's fine. But the unit didn't open up, and there seems to be no screws left. I guess that they leveled up their level of certified enganeering and actually used both screws and ultrasonic welding. Because why wouldn't you, right?!
Motherfuckers.7 -
Hey guys.
Arduino + Bluetooth + L293D + car Chacis and 4 DC motors.
Finaly finished my second bot/Drone.
Actually finished it yesterday but had lots of problems with hardware bugs (learned so fucking much in a day).
Tought I fucked two unos with bad soldering... No they are fine, just won't turn on in the circuit that was already working (was fine running the code).
Redone everything from scratch with a arduino uno, it's perfect now.
Funniest part is how I got my hands on a 50€ car kit for almost free... So some Chinese store sended this kit instead of some cheap stuff. Saved another arduino with the chip rack (that one that you can trade the atmega chip), I'll save it to program single chips. Plus a h bridge and lot lot more cool stuff.
Used only the Chacis.
Next: esp8266 and camera... And maby a gun? Would be cool
34 -
I recently purchased a Lenovo laptop. After a few months there was an issue in left hinge due to poor build quality.
I contacted them seeking help. All help was denied by the Chinese.
I swore that neither will I opt for Lenovo products nor will I suggest anybody to go for Lenovo when asked for review.
My cousin wants to buy a Laptop. I told her go for any brand but Lenovo.
As a customer, did I do the right thing?17 -
What irritates me to no end.
"Companies" that try to game the system and have people pay for something that is already free.
I was tasked with implementing a Magento payment solution integrating WeChat Starpay.
Sure no problem, maybe 6 hrs of work.
When I couldn't get access to the api as a developer, when the site doesn't have SSL and wants sensitive banking information, when the contact form doesn't work directly, and they have a contact form on mikecrm.com, my suspicions were raised.
Looking around further, all they are doing is mirroring the chinese api, taking your banking info and submitting to wechat for you.
Ofc, I canceled the project, found the chinese api, and will most likely release an open source version integrating the free chinese api directly.
Companies like this piss me off, so unethical. they want to do the minimum amount of work possible and have people pay for it.
As far as doing work again for friends, that is over.
I may not be the most righteous human being that walked the earth, but I do have unwavering ethics and honesty for the most part.3 -
After a year not coming back to my hometown, I've never felt the urge to immediately go back to my boarding house after this week at home as "the IT guy"
"The Uncle"
Uncle: hey, I cannot run corel on PC #1
Me: why what changed recently?
Uncle: I replaced the mobo, the last one was fried
Me: o~kay, *goggled, sent some files over from PC #2, PC #1 unable to connect to internet, Unc, does it comes with CD or anything? The LAN driver might has not been installed yet
Uncle: ah it might be in the box
Me: *receives box, facepalm, it's a cheap chinese mobo, Unc, haven't I told you back then to get at least Gigabyte or MSI B150?
Uncle: ah, this one's cheaper,
Me: *okay bye, finish job, back to my PS4
"The Father"
Pops: hey, can you install the download manager thingy, and also the torrent app?
Me: why, what happened with the last one?
Pops: I dunno you check it
Me: ah fuck it, let's see,
*stare~, the fuck's wrong with this monitor?
*click", fuck's wrong with this mouse?
*type, fucking keyboard!
*open new tab, the fuck's with the base url (some shady redirects)?
*random program popping up, the fuck's with this PC?
*went away getting a new mouse, hey pop, your mouse is busted, you should get a new one
Pops: naah, the mouse is fine, I never had any problem using it
Me: yea it's fine aside from the unresponsive movement, stuck srolling wheel, unusable middle click, non responsive right click and the auto double click feature
Pops: naah it's fine, there's no problem with the mouse
Me: yeah" whatever you say, *finish job, back to my PS4
Lucky my aunt has moved far away or I might get 2 of the father episodes back to back, and at least I got some games from the year end sale which is nice4 -
I just bought a USB mobile power pack... Here my thought:
-It's on sale!
-But do I really need it?
-.... Will I could give it to my dad if I don't...
-but what it's it been... Chinese products are cheap...
-this isn't cheap... It's just on sale!
-hm....
-you know you'll need it.. at the rate my phone's battery gets used in a years time it won't be able to leave half a day...
-hm....
-cmon only $21 hrs left... this is a steal... It's only 15$....
-ah ok.... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
*After buying**
It's not too late to cancel.... Should I cancel?11 -
Just got an email reply with the following greeting: "Dear Cheers,"
Maybe somebody should tell the "Sales Director" of Gole that Cheers is NOT a first name.2 -
Happy Chinese New Year!!
The best thing about chinese new year on a long weekend is that I can use my heritage as an excuse to not work overtime on the weekend, oh and I'm "celebrating" it alright, alone time binge watching and gaming to my hearts content,2 -
When you try to reverse engineer some $5 toy but the ICs Datasheet is only in chinese ;-(
And Google translate for pdf sucks.
4 -
Why can't software development just be software development? I hate when laws and politics, etc., get in the way
Look at this, for example: https://arstechnica.com/information...
Apple added some code to make the Chinese government happy, which resulted in a bug, which is stupid!4 -
I AM FUCKING DONE WITH THESE CHINESE SELLERS AND THEIR STUPID E-COMMERCE.
So after free t-shirt and sticker, I tried contacting the sellers and AliExpress.
The first seller never cared to respond and the second seller refuses to understand my concern.
I tried reaching AliExpress help and they ask me to contact seller to pay the refunded amount.
In both the cases, AliExpress did not really care for their sellers and asks me to quit altogether.
I tried to translate the message into Chinese so that they can understand what I am trying to tell.
But then AliExpress is acting stupid.
Well fuck you all then. I will keep the stuff for free.
4 -
Just spent the entire day of which should have been the start of vacation fighting off a second wave of ransomware on one of our production servers. Gandcrab 5.2 anyone?
Turns out an exploit in our MySQL daemon allowed some fucking Chinese hackermonkey to upload a trojan and remote execute it. Thousands of angry customers, me the only one available and able to fix shit and patch up firewalls and system.
And now I get the pleasure of working on what I should have been doing today, another fire that MUST be put out today.
Fuck you deadlines. Fuck you Chinese hackers. In fact, FML.3 -
This is legit bad news.
The Big Hack: How China Used a Tiny Chip to Infiltrate U.S. Companies
The attack by Chinese spies reached almost 30 U.S. companies, including Amazon and Apple, by compromising America’s technology supply chain, according to extensive interviews with government and corporate sources.
https://bloomberg.com/news/...9 -
Why is whatsapp just AIDS?!
The privacy thing is big but let's take a look at the app.
It's the only messenger app I've ever used that forces you to save incoming images to your gallery if you want to see them, like wtf?
The UI looks like shit and it's kinda hard to understand from a UX perspective, for example read receipts which Messenger does beautifully. Facebook owns WhatsApp so A it's not really a better choice than fb messenger and B it basically has a shit quality application compared to Messenger. The messaging experience in sketchy Chinese dating apps is better.
Also it basically hacks your phone. It turns on notifications and permissions by itself even when I explicitly turned them off, and sends me notifications for muted conversations.
Speaking of notificatikns. Every time I get 1 notification, notifications from every single chat even an unread messages from 3 years ago gets sent to my phone.
It guzzles battery like a monster.
And they have basically formed a cult in the indian community, so now everyone thinks its the best and no one uses anything else because "it's so convenient" which it's NOT. It has a terrible interface, and the only thing I like about it is the fact that it being so shit gives me an excuse to uninstall it and ignore all the fucking spam on there.
Honestly, the app needs to die ASAP because it is frankly the shittiest of shittiest messaging applications.5 -
Slowly getting better with RegEx problems! Warning, lots of non-computer linguistic geekiness ahead.
Been working on some functions recently to replicate the furigana (Chinese character annotation) functions available over at JP.SE in PHP for a project.
Managed to get the basic cases down fairly quick:
[Chinese character][reading] => <ruby><rb>Chinese Character</rb><rt>Reading</rt></ruby>
However I realized this evening that there are patterns where this repeats twice for one word, such as the following:
[Chinese Character][helper Japanese character(s)][Chinese Character][possibly optional word ending][reading for the whole thing]
Managed to get it working for both cases initially, but then I found out that adding a Japanese character to either of my test strings (see graphic) would cause the annotations to fall grossly out of sync. The next two hours disappeared pretty fast before discovering that the issue was that I was removing the wrong string length from the annotation string, and just happened to luck out with a test case where it worked the first time.
Probably going to do a code review of it with the intern next time he's in. One of the things I've been stressing to him lately is that however easy a task may be for a human, there are all kinds of extra things that need to be tracked in order for a computer to be able to follow your logic.
7 -
Not only is the documentation only in Chinese, but also the labels used in the components are. 🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️
Oh well time to get my hands dirty.3 -
Budget setup! Third monitor on the left is waiting for a cable. The bigger monitor is a 27'' that i got for 15€, the vertical one I got for free. Mini itx ryzen setup behind the monitors. Chinese mechanical keyboard with outemu blue switches
5 -
I started implementing a file uploader in Vue today. The documentation was half Chinese, half Google Translate English.
While that's bad enough already, the cold I'm having is competing with my brain for resources. Due to that, I am pretty much constantly hangry (hungry +angry) and am making stupid rookie mistakes. Fuck this day, I should have stayed bed.7 -
A site I manage in my spare time with a couple thousand normal users was getting attacked by a Chinese botnet. All the requests were coming from only two subnets. Easy to block. Feels like this was only the vanguard. Prelude to the real attack. I'm thinking about moving the site to its own server, so it won't affect my other sites. There at least if it gets kneeled, it'll only be that site.6
-
Vuejs guide has answers for every possible questions I have, never asked question on stack overflow or even referred answer in stack overflow. Irony is its maintained by Chinese. A big applause to those guys at Vuejs, you guys are awesome.
PS: Weex also needs some good documentation just like Vuejs, since Evans is working closely with them I believe it's possible in futute.2 -
My phone's space was almost full so it automatically deleted 3 gigs of my videos, photos, songs, recordings and I don't fucking know what.
FUCK these Chinese shit phones.5 -
Google translate is very(very) good at translating Chinese text....but it will fuck up translating despacito(if you don't know that song count yourself lucky...it flipping sucks but i used it for comic relief)
Wth Google how?
Guess Skynet is not a reality.
Chi-Net is.
Badum tsssss14 -
What's your programming background music?
I listen to classical music
These days mostly Chinese traditional
(No I'm not Chinese)
28 -
True story:
A guy worked at a company as a very important programmer.
No matter the assignment, he would get it done.
It turns out he played Internet games all day and had outsourced his work to a Chinese company for 10% of his pay.
And he had signed up at a second company and did the same thing there.
He was fired, but made a lot of money.4 -
I used to work with this Chinese coworker who wished himself 'Good afternoon' in Japanese everytime he ran into a wall when coding. He used to say, "Konnichiwa, Konnichiwa"!
But it's worth mentioning that he was such a good guy to work with! -
Others: I can speak English, Spanish, Chinese, Russian, etc...
Me: I can speak Gujarati, Hindi, English, Javascript, Php, Python, Java, XML, Rust, ReasonML, etc...7 -
Those poor people in china only use iPhones, I am serious. Android does not exist as Google is banned from China. If they only knew the taste of a little freedom..6
-
How cool is that?
I met an old American couple (in their 70s), a half Korean and half Japanese guy in his 20s, some Chinese girls in their 20s just in the hotel I have checked in yesterday.
It is interesting how a city that is at the center of Turkey is so full with people from other countries.
Tbh I can swear that here are more Chinese people than Turks lmao
On a side note: The old American couple is just a room away from me.
The walls are so thin that I have heard how the American man kind of "screamed" to push his shit into the toilet lol5 -
I worked for this Chinese company, one of their systems that was supposedly handling millions of US$ in transactions per day had an API that returned HTML tables...
I stop you right there commenter, there was no format=json parameter.
Another of their API I gave up on:
Status = 200
Content = "error"3 -
My uncle: I am very updated with technology, you can download the ebooks I torrented on my server
Also my uncle: Ipad 2 is the newest generation, it's definitely after the ipad mini
Me: no it isn't
Uncle: yes it is
Me:3 -
I got send to Shanghai with only 2 days of notice, because the Chinese team fuckup a project that's not even mine, and the deadline is coming soon.
Though, I enjoyed the local food2 -
So client wants an android app that implements some legacy Epson printer SDK, works on a chinese Windows device with an android Emulator on it, connects to local Webservice that had to be configurated and ran (local Network) , sends and tracks data, if Server down then handle it on the Client and reconnect as soon as Server up, running own TCP Server on Android device that listens for specific http requests, which make the android connect to an Epson printer to start printing. The stuff that is being printed? A png file that has to be converted to a Bitmap, a QR Code that has to be generated by the bugged base64 encrypted stuff coming via http in (webserver-> Android TCP server)
Dont forget the Software Design (MVP), documentation, research etc.. Im about to finish the app , its my 5th day on this Project, the 6th day was planned to be full testing. Client Calls me and ask me how far I am, I reply, he says ok. 30 minutes later he tells me he wont pay me next time that much because this work should take 3 days, or even 2. "A senior Android developer could do this in 2 days"... When i sent him my notices he called me a liar, his webdev has alot of experience and told him it should take 2-3 days...ffs2 -
So was just reading this article about Chinese people becoming more lonely and it mentioned Xiao Ice which is pretty much like Google's... What's her name?
It said how people can talk to it like an actual person so I gave it a try... Well it's just as dumb as the others...
https://ozy.com/fast-forward/...
4 -
A friend just told me to use Google translate on the word "Wifey" appearantly the Chinese language still likes Soulja boys
1 -
As I'm learning Chinese, I realize I'll feel compelled to document all my projects in Chinese and English if I ever reach a proficient level.
Right now I'm reading the three little pigs, but i'm determined! -
All Chinese who write github codes in English and comment on code in Chinese. Please please stop. Use one language.3
-
When you're looking for that really peculiar problem on Google with mandatory generic words, but the results are everything except what you fucking wanted :
- <the main page of that language>
- <"how to" useless videos with no relation to what you're looking for whatsoever>
- <some more unrelated stuff>
- <outdated forbidden techniques>
- <Chinese gibberish>
- <something that looks like what you looking for, with no answers>
- "how to summon a demon (not clickbait!)"
At this point you either explore the unexplored lands (aka page 2 and beyond, or using Bing or Yahoo), or accept your fate.3 -
FUCKING CHINESE SUPOSED IP CAMERAS...
First, they aren't Ip cameras, they are p2p cameras with different settings and more limited...
then took me 3 days to open 5 ports for 2 cameras, config the cameras, till they work.
YEY they finally work, can see them over the Internet (no default settings, even changed the Alias), have my Ip camera viewer on the Phone... but one doesn't activate on moviment.. in this 3 days only took 2 pictures with motion detection on and people passing in front of them... the other was working for like 5 minutes... giving black and white 7kb jpgs... after a few teeks... can't make it work again.
Now I have two cameras that I can see if my house is being robbed but no motion detection to warm me, or at least save some pictures on the server to serve as evidence (and maby finally get the team that is robbing one house a day, If they try to rob my house again...).
The cameras are very good as baby monitors or to play around, for 14$ and 20$... (love the 360º ball) , but as security cameras... Unless you have them connected to a security station and with a repeater close by... worthless...
Oh, and they may give me 1 good frame a second or lag to 10+seconds a frame...6 -
Fucking Chinese designers...
Spent all afternoon leveling the 3D printer table while scratching it a lot.
all afternoon to understand that one piece is bent and the extruder is a lot lower it should have been...
Meanwhile, leveled the table with my knowledge of CNC and a specific tool that allows me to take measures up to 0.01mm...
Could have saved €20 on this fucking auto leveler that doesn't really work.8 -
NOTE: jusk a joke. I don't intend to offend to anybody. If you think you will feel offended, please stop reading this now.
German:
Borgen eichnescheider einen von eigenscreachschneidebweigben von ubervorgenscheinerweigbenmorgen heinz echen abrechen vorgenuberweigbenmergenvorgenschaingorgeirgen vergen von hein, du hast mich.
Dutch:
Vorgen jorgen morgen dorgen forgen dorgen ergen morgen jorgen korgen joegen morgen dorgen sorgen morgen vorgen jorgen dorgen korgen morgen? Jorgen von vorgen jorgen orgen doergen duergen morgen jiergen dorgen.
Finnish:
Yaaaaalaaa maalaaa baaaalaaa yaaamallaaaaa ya vaaaaaallaaaaa kaaaaalaaaaaaaaaaaaa jaaaaaalaaaaa maaaallaaaaaaaa aikaaaaa maaalaa.
Russian:
Kalinsky kaltroska moska kolkinska vladimir kulinsky matroska malkoska troska linsky linska moska trosky.
Arabic:
Alah malah kalah balah mafah bafah abjad arah makah abjadkalaf mafak lamah kalifa khaled. Balah malah famadbak asham alam falah mostafah.
Chinese:
Huang don yin yang wong yuang wa xie xie ma kong hong ma yang wang dong hong mao ni ma huang dong wang ling baidu mao ma xie ming jong.
Japanese:
Tokurimashte chan wa desu! Konnichiwamashte chan desu ka tokirida ni maste chan desu. Wa no naema ma kiri tu tae kwon do du maste chan desu o namae ka, yoshirimida maste.
Lisp:
(()()()()())((((()))))(()())())()()())()())()))))))))))))))))))(((((()))))))())(write 1 2 3)))))))((if )(*))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))13 -
I love tinkering and i lowkey prefer chinese knockoffs to the original arduinos. I genuinely enjoy having to scout the internet for obscure drivers and sometimes having to write my own libraries.3
-
*embedded rant*
Boss finds new chinese supplier for the lcds we use and tells me to make one work so we can see the new quality. All is good.. the lcd works. But at some point I start seeing some defects. Pretty annoying defects.
Boss tells me to explain the defects to the chinese engineers so that they can either fix it or tell us if we did something wrong. So I do it. I explain everything in detail as one engineer to another.
An hour after I submit the email I get called. The boss is furious that the email is bs. His reasons .. " We are working with cheap-ass chinese. None of their engineers know english. How do you expect anyone to understand all that stuff you said?!"
ffs.. i had to dumb it down to 5th grade english..1 -
** this means words are muted **
Friday:
I send a mail the client a Google doc with elaborate details about evaluation of an Android tablet from a Chinese manufacturer.
Monday:
The client is upset, he says "You say there is no GPS chip on the tablet while the manufacturer says otherwise"
Me- "I have clearly mentioned that it has a GPS chip"
Client- Opens the Google doc, points to a sentence. Looks at me like I did something horrible.
Me - **This guys is either word blind or something else is wrong with him, the line reads 'GPS chip available'**
Me- "Look, it says 'GPS chip available'.
Client- **Blinks n blinks again** "Alright, but why did you share a Google document, why not PDF, docx"
Me-**Politely** "You can download the document in any format, look I will show you..."
Client- "It should have been in the mail itself ideally"
Me- **WTH** "We normally maintain a document for such things to keep everything organised, but if you want I will put everything in mail itself"
Client- "Hmm.. do both from next time"
Me- "Alright" **BS**
Client- "Why is the new feature taking so much time"
Me- "As planned earlier, we going to deliver it tomorrow"
Client- "Why not today??" **Gives a strange look.**
Me thinking - **Enough**
Me- "See, I am trying to integrate a smarten with a socket connection, reading it's data via exposed APIs that are hardly documented, we need faster performance so I need to implement caching, multi threading, offline handling, multiple processes to avoid memory fluctuations, sync adapter to sync data...."
Client- "Ok ok ok, it's fine if you give working build tomorrow"
Me- "Ok, fine"
#limit1 -
TLDR: fuck this plugin.
Longer version: I recently had to implement an external Vue plugin to upload files. That gave me a good headache already, mostly due to the half Chinese, half Google Translate English documentation. I now found out that testing the implemented component may be impossible. Turns out it overwrites the $route and $router variables and makes them read-only. Which won't even let me create a shallow mount of my implementation. Fuck this shit, I'm getting a drink!4 -
Hey folks!
! Do not read further or open this rant if you are likely to be offended!
I always wanted to know but had no nice way to ask so I'm just gonna shoot.
Most of you must have worked/be working with foreign people: canadians, french, chinese, etc. How would you describe those people as colleagues [e.g. lazy, stubborn, chatty, etc.]? The goods and the bads would be perfect.
The topic is sensitive. Please be polite but sincere. This question nor its answers are not meant to offend anyone. We all have our cultural differences, we all have been taught different. I'm just wondering what could I or anyone else expect from each foreign teammate.20 -
rant, !dev...
NEVER BUY ANYTHING THAT COST MORE THEN $5 FROM ALIEXPRESS....
I CANCELLED AN ORDER LIKE 1HR AFTER I PLACED IT, 3 DAYS AGO... I JUST GOT NOTIFIED THE ORDER IS NOW SHIPPED....
ALSO SEEMS MOST THINGS ON THERE A CHINESE RIPOFFS... BEING MARKETED AS QUALITY GOODS....
Oh and their customer support is really sketchy... they said they'll try to get me a refund... But as I was taking to her, I also placed a dispute on my credit card "just in case"7 -
Talking to a vendor in China to source some hardware modules. The engineers don't speak any English, and the sales rep doesn't know a serial port from a monkey's ass. Shortest game of Chinese whispers 😥4
-
Barracuda Email Firewall for Dummies:
1. Email Client with perfect grammar and nice subject line. (Email rejected)
2. Change subject line to include Russian and Chinese characters along with discount advertisements for Xanax and male enhancement pills. (Email sent!) -
The temper glad protector on my OP6 decided to suddenly fresco and fall off. It's a bit weird thought... There's no sticky feeling under that area....
Cheap Chinese product?
14 -
Hm.. yeah, I will try something with my raspberry today.
*5 hours later*
I am still struggling with the wifi connection, ended up at a chinese website looking for a solution...2 -
How can you bring in a PBX device with no manual at all and the settings are all in Chinese and expect me to be a God and configure it?2
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Gooooooo awayyyyyyy
All I wanna do is play my Chinese grill cartoon games of infinite dodging in peeaaceee
And while you're 100% complete why don't I just go down and make some tea and come back for you to still be 100%,as they say, "" complete ""
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FFS! Can I get a remote job as soft-dev?? I know a little bit of java, I mean I have a GitHub repo for a project if anyone wants to see what I'm doing.
If anyone knows or feel that can help me, please lend me a hand, I need to start working (to get real experience) and earn a little (prevent from starving in this fucking shithole country).
I'm not asking for money, I'm asking for a freaking job, a task, anything.
Little brief of my situation... I'm from Venezuela... Done!
Now for real, I'm a freelancer IT technician for almost 8 yrs, now I'm studying software engineering (8th Semester), I'm 31 years old, have a family (7 yrs old daughter, newborn baby boy), work is not flowing since the hourly price got high due to the economic crisis and clients are hiring people instead of outsourcing.
I'm not expecting to earn the minimum wage of UUSS, 150$/month can do the job! This due to the black market price of the USD (10X.000BsF so far), where 1$ represents the 1/8 part of the minimum wage here, to put it in perspective, toothpaste cost 200.000Bsf, 1/4 of the minimum wage.
Perhaps you will be asking yourself "Damn! so how do you do to survive!?" well, at least once a week a client calls and that saves the entire week, this isn't life my people, this is surviving... And if you don't believe me, I can show a receipt from the supermarket, and show you the average salary or my incomings.
Anyway enough drama and whining for today, I'm not doing this again in my life, I'm a person who achieves goals and earns what deserve (even this situation, I know that I deserve it for not thinking properly in the past, but we can't be victims of our past or do we?)
Here I leave my repo link, see the develop branch https://github.com/ajfmo/Sislic
I have touched HTML, CSS, JS, nodeJS, yarn, bower, Ubuntu both desktop and server, but what I really like is Java.
"Give a man a fish, and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and you feed him for a lifetime." - ancient Chinese proverb.6 -
While I was in my computer science bachelor, I had the VERY best coworkers. I would always make group projects with my friends BUT I decided to open my horizons! So I tried to find other classmates to work with.
ANNNNNND it was terrible...
Here’s a little list of why they couldn’t work during the projects:
_ Dude, I left my charger at home (I had one to share)
_ I’m gonna eat! (He never came back)
_ Sorry the wind is too strong, I can’t even open my door. I won’t come today! (It was just another rainy day in Paris)
_ Crap, I forgot to tell you it’s Chinese New Year today, I’m with my family! (Ok, no problem but he was missing 2 WEEKS! The time of our project)
And maybe my favorite:
“SORRY, I CAN’T JOIN YOU I DIDN’T MANAGE TO OPEN THE DOOR OF THE BUILDING”.
(The building was our school building and it was WIDE open...)
Fact is when you study computer science, it’s easier to work online with your coworkers but these one... They just never came online.
I think, now, no coworker can hurt me x) -
A Chinese coworker who always brought a tea flavoured hand lotion bottle and applied it before coding on his finger tips and wore the same clothes from Monday to Friday changed only his shoes...2
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Installing COSU devices. Need to setup 200 Androids. I boot up number 43 and it's set to Chinese language. I switch to English. It registers with the network.. WTF there is a sim card inside. =D And it was in a sealed package.
Now I am a proud owner of some poor bastards China Unicom WO sim card. =D -
Having a middleman to either communicate a design or decision to a chinese client can sometimes really be the one thing you'd wish you've always had.
I've worked with tons of companies and clients from china and they are often very certain about things like bright orange/green on white/flashy background with black/white/red font, that sometimes you really just roll with it, but having said middleman really helps to communicate why e.g green and red on top of each other - aren't the best choice for a company that maybe wants to reach non grayscale visioned people too. -
Any OS recommendations for my old HP Pavilion g6?
Something a bit less known, along the line of elementaryOS (but stable) or Deepin (but not Chinese spyware).23 -
My group set up a Linux Dev server. We got hacked by Chinese hackers. We set it up again but even more secure with only people inside the uni can access it. We got hacked again.Turns out one of the modules in a container was using an outdated CentOS version. P.S The malicious file on the server was called kk.love.1
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So I plan to ditch my 17" heavy gaming laptop to chose something more suitable for school for a (13/14") ultrabook (I plan to run Debian on it) that has a decent battery life
Anyway, I looked at those chinese ultrabook on AliExpress/gearbest but I'm a bit skeptical about some factors.
Anyone has recommendations about a model or some advices?9 -
Most awesome game ever! It mostly plays by itself and cheats... or maybe it a bug: You (as Autoplay) don't have to beat all the NPCs to advance....
Strangely it feels sort of familiar... O right bc I usually God Mode all games..... But still need to play thru them manually.
Also there's some Chinese left in one of the buttons... they forgot to translate... But maybe that's... Most of time all we care about is the graphics and seeing rank go up....
3 -
my phone is dying. Very slowly, i see the first signs of decay, i probably have months or even more than a year, but it will die on me. I knew it will happen.
I currently have an asus phone (ZE552KL), it is technically DualSim or SD-Card, has a camera that is..badish and sometimes the bluetooth wont start and then it reboots. Also the camera has a pure software bug where it isnt able to ever focus properly, but with tricks you can get it to work again. The asus forums constantly refer to sending it to a repair station (wherever one is in germoney). That annoys me.
Back to dying. For now its definetly the battery.
I remember when you could change the battery on a whim. Great times. My last phone died duo battery aswell (well, the gps module broke aswell so it wasnt all flowers besides the battery).
My current asus phone was something around 300 € and according to reviews 2 years ago it has a good bang for the buck ratio.
I havent looked into the market, just a cursory glance. But apparently if you want a phone that has a decent battery life, is not basically a tablet, has an sd card slot and a camera that is not total rubbish it gets hard. Its hard to balance those things, and if you want a swappeable battery all hope is lost.
Further i have started to misstrust chinese phones, the asus software support is wacky and some stuff is weird. I suspect its as bad with huwai and all the others. Also its apparently kinda hard to get any resemblance of quality in accessoires for non-mainstream brands (i mean cases and display protection)
So i dread the future, the future in which i need a new phone that is somewhere in the mid price segments and fits my needs. In the end i will take something suboptimal and be unhappy with it till it dies.
I despise the phone market.5 -
Two Chinese characters spoke Chinese in Silicon Valley, but their accents are pretty much the same as Siri on my phone.... lol
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What it's like to be a network
engineer...translated into normal people speak
User: I think we are having a major road issue,
Me: What? No, I just checked, the roads are
fine. I was actually just on the roads.
User: No, I'm pretty sure the roads are down
because I'm not getting pizzas.
Me: Everything else on the roads is fine. What
do you mean you aren't getting pizzas?
User: I used to get pizzas when I ordered
them, now I'm not getting them. It has to be a
road issue.
Me: As I said, the roads are fine. Where are
you getting pizzas from?
User: I'm not really sure. Can you check all
places that deliver pizzas?
Me: No I don't even know all the places that
deliver pizza. You need to narrow it down.
User: I think it is Subway.
Me: Okay, I'll check...No, I just looked and
Subway doesn't deliver pizzas.
User: I'm pretty sure it is Subway. Can you just
allow all food from Subway and we can see if
pizza shows up?
Me: Sigh, fine I've allowed all food from
Subway, but I don't think that is the issue.
Usher: Yeah I'm still not getting pizza. Can you
check the roads?
Me: It's not the roads, the roads are fine. I'm
pretty sure Subway isn't the place.
User: Okay, I found it. It's Papa Johns.
Me: Okay, I looked and Papa Johns does
deliver pizza. Is it the local Papa Johns or one
in a different town?
User: I don't know. Can you allow pizza from
all Papa Johns to me?
Me: No I can't do that. Can you get me an
address for Papa Johns?
User: No, I only know it as Papa Johns. Can
you get me all the addresses of all Papa Johns
and I'll tell you if one of them is correct?
Me: No, I don't have time for that. Okay, I
looked at the local one and it looks like they
have sent you pizza in the past and they are
currently allowed to send you pizzas. Try
ordering a pizza while I watch.
Usher: Yeah still no pizza. I'm guessing they
are getting blocked at the freeway. Can you
check the freeway to make sure they can get
through?
Me: No, this is a local delivery. They aren't
even using the freeway.
User: Okay, well then it has to be a road issue,
Me: No, the roads are fine. Okay, I just drove
from the Papa Johns to the address they have
on file for you and there is nothing there.
User: Hmm, wait we did move recently.
Me: Did you give your new address to Papa,
Johns?
User: No, I just thought they would be able to
look me up by name.
Me: No they need your new address. What's
your new address?
User: I'm not really sure. Can you look it up?
Me: Sigh, give me a second...Okay, I found
your address and gave it to Papa Johns. Try
ordering a pizza now.
User: HEY! PIZZA JUST SHOWED UP!
Me: Okay, good.
User: (To everyone else they know) I apologize
for the delay in the pizza but there was a major
road issue that was preventing the pizza from
getting to me. The network engineer has fixed
the roads and we are able to get pizza again.
Me: But it wasn't the roads...whatever.
User: Oh, can you also check on an issue
where Chinese food isn't getting to me? think
it may be a road issue5 -
!rant
I'm still in the market for a new phone. I've been looking for the best part of a year now and I still can't decide.
I'm probably going to go with one of the Chinese smart phones just because of the insane features for such a low cost and the fact that they aren't fucking Samsung or Apple.
But which one?!
The OnePlus 5T looks incredible. It's the beefiest phone imaginable and it's so cheap for what it is. But ideally I'm looking to flash a custom ROM and I'm worried I'd fuck it up with a shiny new phone.
I'll probably be putting Nethunter on the phone (trying to fuck around with learning security).
Any suggestions?9 -
Fingerprint Scanner.
Anyone who had already configured a fingerprint reader in Linux that can help me?
I have an "Egistec ES603" (A Chinese imitation) fingerprint reader and can't install it myself.
been trying to install fprint for an hour with no luck (I think I already installed it and maby doesn't launch? Don't know).
Fingerprint GUI detects the reader as etes603, can read any finger one time and crashes when asks to pass the finger again...
Frustrated with this shit, but I really wanna fingerprint protection...
Btw It worked fine in Windows, so must also work in Linux. -
Ported proprietary Chinese dll for specific device hid control and my windows program around it to macOS using swift.
Yeah that's pretty much how I feel. -
I just finished working on an obfuscator
Its like voldomort horcruxes with Chinese and Japanese chars every object and every everything 😂 for android and just looked at the time and hoooooooooly shiot ita 5:55 am 😂
The result is just great . Finally i can sleep 😂🤣 -
36 Tb Of Cloud storage?
Ref: http://1mtb.com/how-to-get-36-tb-fr...
Ref: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/...
https://www.360.cn/
Hey guys
was browsing on Cloud storage and found this Pearl...
Virtually unlimited storage.
I know It's a Chinese service (so privacy = null) but to place huge files...
Who knows or uses this service that can provide us with some info?
Thanks21 -
Why does Google hire Chinese developers although Google is blocked in China ?
Coz someone gotta copy other company’s tech.3 -
Last week I've been really wanting to start learning a new language. Not the programming type but the original type. Mainly for career opportunities, as I am getting into 2nd year of a 5 year cs curriculum.
Already know : English, Greek (native)
Currently deciding between:
French
Indian
Chinese (not Korean, maybe Japanese?)
Opinions? :)8 -
So when I started at my current company, I was the second developer in the company. My job is to handle the embedded development side of our product. The existing code base? Made in fucking China. All of the comments were in Chinese too. They had implemented Huffman compression incorrectly and AES CBC encryption incorrectly as well. It was seriously some of the worst code I've ever seen. I remember one gem I found:
Int header = *(*int) "MGIK";
😫2 -
development progress is like chinese whispers; "we have encountered issues and will be delayed" becomes "we'll be ready to push to prod by COB" when it reaches the CTO. /facepalm
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I ranted about my new laptop and linux mint on it https://devrant.com/rants/1919501 and I said there will be a rant about the OSs I tried
So my new laptop is the Xiaomi notebook pro, with the highest config: i7/16g/256g/mx150 gpu/alu body/10h battery/perfect keyboard/great screen. Its Chinese, but Xiaomi... you kinda expect flaws, problems, but i watched all the reviews and knew about all the things, and the price was 35% down (836 + taxes = 997EUR) for a macbook pro clone? its a no brainer.. but i had a rattling vent (fixed with shoe glue lol) now its just loud in windows but not in linux, strange
I changed the Chinese windows on it to EN... worked perfect... but... It has 2 slots for NVMe ssd so i bought a 500gb one for the second slot, I put windows on that (because games, occasional insta story video edit, big files, anyway...) and put Ubuntu on the 256gb original ssd.. (to develop on that) and it was slow as fuck, I got errors all over the places, problems I never had before with ubuntu.. and mind you Windows had over 3000 MB/s for read and almost 2000 MB/s for write speeds on that disk... I was disappointed af. MIND YOU all my life I had Ubuntu on secondary old/slow laptops/pcs working JUST FINE... I still don't know what the fuck happened.. the ui was choppy to say the least and I just was not ready to accept that on this HW while windows worked like a charm (yuck)
Then I went with Manjaro (based on arch, here on devrant people like that stuff, must be great)... well after I installed it, it booted up to the login page and black screen... something with the MX150 GPU according to the interwebs... by this time I was so frustrated and in time stress because of my flight home for xmas that I decided not to fix Manjaro but to go with another flavour
Linux Mint it is... everything kinda works out of the box, like they say... it has dark mode everywhere in the settings without downloading some bloated theme or plugin like on other flavours. So I sticked with Linux Mint. Im not saying its perfect, but I have it for like a month now and all its flaws are these small irrelevant settings not working, utilities like the battery showing funny numbers in the post I linked in the beginning.
Other than this I want to ask you guys. In all 3 distros I tried, they all had text scaling issues everywhere (os, apps, web). I think I have a regular fullHD display, its sharp, but I mean... I never expected resolution or scaling issues or things like that. On Windows I never had those scaling issues... other than the famous win10 "blurry apps"3 -
Only a few days until our final project deadline and 3 of our motors/gearboxes fail. Going to get burned in this one even though I only did firmware and backend and never touched the stupid things.3
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I'm thinking of picking up a 4th language, since I didn't really enjoy german (no offense).
Any japanese or chinese people in here?7 -
Fuck you HP.
I needed to replace my laptops body but the top panel (ONLY THE FREAKIN CASING HOLDING THE KEYBOARD AND SOME OTHER STUFF) costs a whoopig 114 USD. Like C'mon =(
My laptop works perfectly fine but the body is brtlutally damaged.
Would love it if anyone from the subcontinent or rather anyone really would tell me where to find cheap Chinese laptop replacement parts.3 -
(!Rant)
Quasi real-time natural language translation. You guys think it will be a thing in our lifetime? I'm a novice programmer but i really want to contribute in this field. Aside of a deeper knowledge of linguistics, what would be beneficial code-wise if one would learn these things?
On this note; fuck learning Chinese - I'm a lazy nerd 😎2 -
I am currently visiting china (beijing) and started wondering if there are any chinese devs out here?1
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Hi, I'm a junior developer who's looking for his first front end job.
I have just finished my 8 months internship as a front end developer in a startup in Paris.
Now I have some opportunities which allows me to work in Paris, Luxembourg or Shangai.
I speak English French and Chinese.
I hesitate a lot now, if you are me, which city you will choose to get your first job there, and why?1 -
!dev && dev_workflow
Hey guys, what are your favorite truly wireless headphones?
For context:
- my OSes: Android (phone), MacOS (laptop), iOS (tablet).
- my getting in love with wireless audio story: I have been using some Chinese ones off AliExpress just to test out the truly wireless waters, their sound quality and pairing experience especially on Android is pretty shit but the ability to forget that you have headphones in your ears and just listen to music obstruction-free is 🔥 but they are now dying so I am looking for a replacement.6 -
I've just started to take one of those DIY Learn Chinese in "X" days.
Not sure I think I am a little confused which is hard make these different sound in Chinese or trying make sense of some of that Erlang syntax... -
!rant
Need help!
I accidentally installed a malware on systrm some chinese software now appears with devices with this pc. And i am able to boot upto windows home screen. When services are starting my oc shows BSOD page fault. I ran diagnostic tools it showed 2100 error in hd 0. Can anyone help. I need to recover imp files from OS drive :(10 -
Just found out that vending machine in my new workplace has this cheap Chinese noodle soups. I understand point of energy drinks and croissants but this... why?
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YouTube, one moment you are searching for a library and the next thing you know you are learning the difference between Chinese and Japanese writing sytems1
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tl;dr How do I deal with translations?
Chinese users asked for translations for ages, one guy did it all, but then? I needed to update the app, I had added some new strings, the guy didn't replayed. Obviously, as I didn't wanted to pay, I've used Google Translate. Result? "Good app, but the translations are wrong.", nice!
What can I do? Do I remove the Chinese translation and tell them to fuck off?3 -
Ok this is either my code, socket.io or China. So I wrote DApp for my crypto project but for some reason our Chinese users have problems using it... So i dig through our code for HOURS! and finally resort to making an AJAX call from the client to a hideous PHP script for logging and what do i find?
For some reason the WebSocket cannot connect. I haven't mapped this so it's only conjecture but I think the GFW is blocking my users connections? (Also using a VPN seems to fix it)
Anyone else had this issue?1 -
when one tool says your site is 200 from chinese IPs, but another says its 403 for the same IPs...
which one is it?
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