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"I'm going to cram you so full of asynchronous JavaScript and malware throttling that your gonna be crapping cipher text" - Simpsons S27E10
7 -
>Starts learning/coding in python for two days straight.
> Two days later goes into C programming class.
> Prof. Displays my screen as we go through a program as a class.
> Starts typing in Python
> Can't turn off Python mode until halfway through class.2 -
!Rant
You know one of the things I love about this community is?
We have such a diverse group of people and even when those who don't speak English natively, they try to on the app as much as possible keeping it consistent. Even when they make some mistakes, no one's a dick about it (from what I've seen), which is awesome!13 -
YES FINALLY SOMEBODY REPLIED TO MY JOB OFFER ON UPWORK LET ME OPEN THE MESSAGE
A LINK TO A ZIP FILE WITH PASSWORD THAT LOOKS SO SKETCHY HMMMMMMMMMMM
LETS OPEN IT
WHATS THIS
- aboutus/
-- COMPANY PROFILE.docx
-- Paiza.docx
-- PROJECT WORK.docx
- requirement.lnk
- training/
-- discussion/
--- instruction/
---- democrat/
----- marketing.bat
A MARKETING.BAT FILE FOR A JOB OFFER??? HMMM THATS SO INTERESTING LET ME OPEN THIS MARKETING.BAT IN VSCODE
OH WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT 10,000 LINES OF CODE OF ENCRYPTED CIPHER ENCODED MALWARE TROJAN MESSAGE TO FUCK UP MY C DRIVE.
WHY EVEN BOTHER. WHY DO YOU FUCKING WASTE MY FUCKING TIME YOU *********FUCKING*******++++ SCAMMERS I HOPE YOU GET CANCER AND YOUR WHOLE FAMILY DIES IN THE MOST HARMFUL PAINFUL SLOW DEATH I HOPE SOMEONE POURS ACID ON YOUR FUCKING FACE AND YOU END UP AT A MEXICAN CARTEL GORE VIDEO WEBSITE WHERE THEY CHOP YOUR FUCKING ARMS AND LEGS OFF AND PUT A PITBULL TO MAUL YOUR FUCKING TINY DICK OFF AS YOUR HEAD WATCHES IN AGONY AND YOUR ARMLESS AND LEGLESS BODY FEELS ALL PAIN WHILE YOU'RE DRUGGED WITH ADRENALINE TO STAY ALIVE AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE AND RIGHT WHEN YOU'RE ABOUT TO FUCKING DIE THEY CUT YOUR FUCKING HEAD OFFFF DECAPITATED LIKE A FUCKING USELESS TURD SHIT FAGGOT WASTE OF OXYGEN SCAMMING CANCER FUCK
WHY SCAM ENGINEERS ON UPWORK????? WHAT DO YOU GET FROM IT????
11 -
I love it when a fellow "dev" asks about some interesting security topic (full disk encryption) and I'm like "yeah I use LUKS pretty much everywhere".. and then takes an entire arm when given a hand.
Performance in LUKS? Yeah sure you can benchmark it within cryptsetup. Here's how to do it and choose a good cipher for your CPU.
D: Oh also how do I check my battery life?
M (thinking): you lazy fucking piece of shit.
M: FUCKING GOOGLE IT
D: Obviously that means that you don't know it.
M (thinking): so not only lazy but also disgustingly ungrateful, fucking twat.
M: acpi. Next time fucking Google it.
D: You know what? Never mind.
As if I'm the one that's fucking wrong now!! But you know what, never mind indeed. Because you've successfully wasted my fucking time instead of fucking googling "check battery life Linux" like a sensible dev would.
Fellow "dev", if you're on devRant I hope you read this. You can seriously go fuck yourself.4 -
# Showing code so everyone knows it's the same code/file being executed.
Interesting in the difference of the time it takes.
8 -
One of the things I love the most about programming is that sometimes you feel like you're taking a step forward when you're taking a step back... and sometimes you feel like you're taking a step back when you take a step forward.
Or maybe that's just me. XD
12 -
Algorithms real life implementation
On the way to your college canteen? -> A* search
Waiting in line in the canteen? -> Queue
Notice that girl standing in front? -> Linear search
Searching for her dad in the phone book? -> Binary search
Stupid! Google it! -> Trie
Search for her on Facebook! -> Depth-first search
Found her! Friend request? Accepted! Send a Hi! -> Graph
Writing her a secret love letter? -> Caesar cipher
Uploading your first date pic on fb? -> Image compression algorithms
Looking through her Whatsapp messages? -> KMP algorithm
She found out and had your first fight? -> Start over with some gifts! Backtracking
Got her list of items to buy? -> Array
Too many items! Low on cash, maybe? -> Priority queue
Making her play treasure hunt for her gifts? -> Linked list
Wait! Go back! Is that a ring? -> Stack
Girl’s family not agreeing to your proposal? -> Divide and conquer
Got married? Congrats! Going for your honeymoon? -> Travelling salesman problem
Your mom packing luggage for you? -> 0/1 Knapsack problem
She packed your favorite pickles? -> Hash table
Driving to the airport? -> Breadth-first search1 -
Clicks "Exploitation and Enumeration" category.
Clicks "Python (HARD)" challenge.
"What is a key that passes the code?"
Opens Python file and sees one line of nested lambda expressions spanning 1,846 characters (no spaces)
*Cries*8 -
Knockout JS.
I am not sure if the library itself is so bad or the code which I was working on was ugly. But since then I avoid anything that is related to knockout js.10 -
Last year, one of our assignments for school was to implement a caesar cipher in Java. There is that one guy, that doesn't understand the concept of dynamic variables, so he HARDCODED every single possibility for every character. More than 1000 lines for something this simple. Yes, we are studying informatics. Yes, he passed last year1
-
Need to learn JavaScript.
My question is: What good books/websites/ youtubers etc are out there that have good explanations.
Thx in advance.64 -
Is there anything uglier than XML documentation comments? The signal to noise ratio is appalling, like an exercise in redundancy for the sake of redundancy.
/// <summary>
/// Initializes a new instance of the <see cref="CipherInfo"/> class.
/// </summary>
/// <param name="keySize">Size of the key.</param>
/// <param name="cipher">The cipher.</param>
public CipherInfo(int keySize, Func<byte[], byte[], Cipher> cipher)
{ ... }
Compare that to the equivalent markdown documentation comments:
/// Initializes a new instance of the <see cref="CipherInfo"/> class.
/// ##Parameters
/// - `keySize` - Size of the key.
/// - `cipher` - The cipher.
public CipherInfo(int keySize, Func<byte[], byte[], Cipher> cipher)
{ ... }3 -
I thought living alone without my family will help me to be more productive but no! When I got out of the office and start walking towards my home, I feel like there is no one waiting for me. What am I doing? When I reach, I feel empty, all alone, by myself. Maybe, it's time to marry someone, maybe a girlfriend? But I don't have any courage to start a conversation with a woman. I just expect someone will talk to me out of interest. But none! Is marrying someone the only solution? having a family is the ultimate peace? IDK14
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In an encryption-module, I had a bug, that caused my PC to crash, every time I tried to encrypt something.
Turns out, the loop, that appends
0-Bytes to the string, to make it Block-Cipher compatible,
Had an logical-bug in its exit-condition, that caused it to run infinitely and allocate an infinite amount of memory. -
My worst program I still remember :D
When I was learning programming I wrote small console app in pascal to cipher string using Rot13. Every single letter was a case in switch statement. :D5 -
Legacy tech be like:
"The connection to this site uses TLS 1.0 (an obsolete protocol), RSA (an obsolete key exchange), and AES_128_CBC with HMAC-SHA1 (an obsolete cipher)."2 -
Trying to refactor legacy code can be a real adventure. It's like exploring an ancient ruin, except instead of hidden treasures, you're uncovering cryptic code and dead ends. But the real plot twist comes when you realize there are no unit tests to guide you. It's like trying to navigate a maze blindfolded - you never know when you're going to hit a dead end and end up with a headache! 🤯6
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With a recent HAProxy update on our reverse proxy VM I decided to enable http/2, disable TLS 1.0 and drop support for non forward-secrecy ciphers.
Tested our sites in Chrome and Firefox, all was well, went to bed.
Next morning a medium-critical havock went loose. Our ERP system couldn't create tickets in our ticket system anymore, the ticket systems Outlook AddIn refused to connect, the mobile app we use to access our anti-spam appliance wouldn't connect although our internal blackboard app still connected over the same load balancer without any issues.
So i declared a 10min maintenance window and disabled HTTP/2, thinking that this was the culprit.
Nope. No dice.
Okay, i thought, enable TLS 1.0 again.
Suddenly the ticket system related stuff starts to work again.
So since both the ERP system and the AddIn run on .NET i dug through the .NET documentation and found out that for some fucking reason even in the newest .NET framework version (4.7.2) you have to explicitly enable TLS 1.1 and 1.2 or else you just get a 'socket reset' error. Why the fuck?!
Okay, now that i had the ticket system out of the way i enabled HTTP/2 and verified that everything still works.
It did, nice.
The anti-spam appliance app still did not work however, so i enabled one non-pfs cipher in the OpenSSL config and tested the app.
Behold, it worked.
I'm currently creating a ticket with them asking politely why the fuck their app has pfs-ciphers disabled.
And I thought disabling DEPRECEATED tech wouldn't be an issue... Wrong... -
I am unable to learn Docker & Kubernetes yet. It's been 3 years I am working as a backend engineer. 🥺 I don't know why I find it hard to grasp those.16
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I'm going through a KhanAcademy course learning about cryptography. I learn better by doing, so I wrote a script. It shifts bytes up depending on a random int produced by a high entropy pseudo random number generator using a sha256 hash as the seed. I'm trying to find information on the flaws with this method, that lead us to create DES, and then AES.
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Fucking job recruiters or whoever the fuck.
If the first line on my resume is under "Objective" and it states, "To obtain a job, internship, or Co-op in the field of Networking, Cybersecurity, or Administration." You can clearly see the world sales and customer service are not in there.
If you take 5 seconds to read that or search for the words customer service or sales YOU WON'T FUCKING FIND ANYTHING.
SO WHY THE FLYING FUCK DO YOU CUMBUCKET FILLED PIECES OF SHIT KEEP OFFERING SALES AND CUSTOMER JOBS TO ME.
I even got a senior sales position before. :|
Yet I can't even get a call back from an internship that's related to what I want to do lol. Smh.1 -
Stumbled upon on a linkedin profile just now. He is an Award-Winning, Certified Resume writer
.
.
.
seriously? 🤔6 -
"What language should I learn?" Wellll.
[0]
43 PERCENT Of banking systems are built on COBOL
80 PERCENT Of in-person transactions use COBOL
95 PERCENT Of ATM swipes rely on COBOL code
220 BILLION Lines of COBOL in use today
"Experienced COBOL programmers can earn more than $100 an hour when they get called in to patch up glitches, rewrite coding manuals or make new systems work with old." [1]
Found this pretty interesting/crazy.
Source:
[0] http://tmsnrt.rs/2nMf18G
[1] http://reuters.com/article/...6 -
Is there a limitation of how much I can commit in git each day in a separate 'feature-branch'?
Cause, I had to explain to a team member (somewhat senior than me) why I committed 9 times in a single 8 hours task(s) (according to him where it was two separate tasks done in a single day).
When I said, I prefer to save my progress in a small commit (at least try my best to write meaningful commit)", I turned out to be a stupid team member. 😔10 -
I hate this feeling.
Changing stuff with a greamripers scythe around my neck called doubt because the available data isn't too convincing.
Then having to go big or nothing as it is an ecosystem change (e.g. changing the cipher suites of TLS, changing protocol - e.g. HTTP 1.1 to 2) so it needs to be consistent as otherwise fun stuff could happen (fun as in the grim reaper cuts off my neck except a few centimeters and plays "now your head is off, now your head is on" ).
To top it off - just few seconds after the change has happened people coming up in the support channel.
My hands are - mysteriously - not sweaty then. Rather cold.
Lil prayer to the heavens and getting the whiskey bottle...
Opening an ongoing discussion in support channel....
And they're discussing whether the page needs to have an additional arrow for going back to the last page or if the default page navigation is enough.
Constantly using @all so everyone gets pissed off due to being pinged every few seconds in a channel that was meant for emergency support.
Now my hands go from a dark red to a bright red, my nostrils flare out, my adrenaline goes through the roof and I literally wanna murder people....
Those days.
I hate those days.
And I hate the timing of some people...
Like they're deliberately fucking with me without knowing it, like the universe told them explicitly to do so just to fuck with me.
*gooozfraba*
And of course, everything else is fine and running smooth like butter, except that said discussion now goes on in a total flamewar so I get even more pings.
Sucks to be in management.
You have way to many rooms where people can annoy you.
To top it off - after being grumpy and pissed and angry for people just annoying the fuck out of me, I have to mediate.
Yeah. Cause the usual person is on vacancy.
*slowly strangling the whiskey bottle like homer does with bart*
Turns out after 15 mins listening to enraged UX designer vs Frontend Team Lead that UX designer meant a completely different thing - uploaded wrong screenshot, whole discussion was unnecessary.
*Nah. Fuck it. Drinking whiskey*
Reminding everyone what the fucking frigging support channel is meant for and that penis fights aka who got the longest schlong don't belong there....
"Yeah it was a mistake, but it wasn't so bad"
...
You pinged fucking 32 people like it was the end of the world, you ignorant fucktwads.
For over 5 mins.
For fucking frigging nothing except your tiny dicks and shitty egos.
*Second round of whiskey*
Back to work after a wasted half hour.
What says monitoring?
Ah. Everything's working.
At least luck hasn't failed me.
Good server. Brave server.
Then I hear this lil voice in my head: no.
The servers know your personality.
They're afraid. Terrified.
Somehow that thought makes me giggle always...
Childish? Maybe. But it helps on those days.... Funnily enough, remaining 3 hours noone said anything in any chat channel.
"I wonder why, I wonder how...."... *hum* -
Hi so I'm learning python in my spare time and I'm in a national competition. I've been told that programming is something my college has always lacked in and in the competition they fortunately use python throughout the problems. I have some example problems used in the last year competition (it was publicly released) and I'm going through them to get an idea of the problems we/I will face. Now I'm still learning python but I understand some of the code at hand. However I still need a little bit of help to understand some of it which will also help me get to a resolution.
Some of the questions I have are:
1. What exactly is the ordinal? I've done some research and I have a small idea but I couldn't find anything to really fill me in and explain how to use it, well in python at least. I saw an example for Pascal but that didn't do much.
2. What is the sys.argv? "The list if command line arguments passed to a python script". I'm not quite understanding that.
3. I know for is used for looping and I know an example say "for a in range(10):" but I'm not understanding the for c in password:
4. Where does the 1000 come from in the builder += 1000.
5. What does the 83 represent after ord(password[1])
6. I know the if statement is saying if this then do this so if __name__ == "__main__":
main()
It's saying call in the function main but where does the name and main come in that part?
Here is the image:
Thank you for your responses in advanced!
One person doesn't have to answer all. Time is precious I understand.
8 -
!Rant
Guys guys guys!!!!!!! And girls!!!
Not only did I recently obtain 2 certifications the past two or three weeks, but a company called me back to see if I was still interested in an internship that I applied for a month ago!! I sent her an updated resume and she's sending it to the IS (information systems) guy (only one for the branch in my city) and if he likes what he'll see they'll call me back 😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄.
I'm so stoked because I started this bullshit job at Dave and Buster's and it's not even really technical. I started like two weeks ago but I don't give a fuck, if I can find a better opportunity elsewhere, I'm taking it. Even if it's an internship.
Only thing is, if they want me to start as soon as possible then I'll want to, but wouldn't it be best to do a two week notice for D&D?2 -
Did some analysis on some servers that a partner of ours is hosting:
-TLS 1.0: Hmm this isn't great
-TLS_RSA_WITH_RC4_128_SHA preferred Cipher Suite for ALL TLS Versions.
I almost barfed at my desk.4 -
Crypto. I've seen some horrible RC4 thrown around and heard of 3DES also being used, but luckily didn't lay my eyes upon it.
Now to my current crypto adventure.
Rule no.1: Never roll your own crypto.
They said.
So let's encrypt a file for upload. OK, there doesn't seem to be a clear standard, but ya'know combine asymmetric cipher to crypt the key with a symmetric. Should be easy. Take RSA and whatnot from some libraries. But let's obfuscate it a bit so nobody can reuse it. - Until today I thought the crypto was alright, but then there was something off. On two layers there were added hashes, timestamps or length fields, which enlarges the data to encrypt. Now it doesn't add up any more: Through padding and hash verification RSA from OpenSSL throws an error, because the data is too long (about 240 bytes possible, but 264 pumped in). Probably the lib used just didn't notify, silently truncating stuff or resorting to other means. Still investigation needed. - but apart from that: why the fuck add own hash verification, with weak non-cryptographic hashes(!) if the chosen RSA variant already has that with SHA-256. Why this sick generation of key material with some md5 artistic stunts - is there no cryptographically safe random source on Windows? Why directly pump some structs (with no padding and magic numbers) into the file? Just so it's a bit more fucked up?
Thanks, that worked.3 -
Having an idea of an awesome application that you're sure you and a lot of people will use but not knowing how to code it 😭.
I think I might try and tackle it when this semester ends.3 -
I'm being reviewed by an idiot. Sorry for the negative rant but it's been on my mind for awhile.
This guy is responsible for my promotion but on the issues he says I need to work on he's not really qualified to judge.4 -
What to do as junior, if multiple seniors (4) aren't in sync with each other. Following different convention on same client's project. Even after 3 years they didn't able come up with seemless infrastrure. The code is getting ugly day by day. No review happens. Is that normal? As they are not in sync, we, juniors are frequently getting confused what to do. What could be done? I'm planning to leave the project somehow. Don't know what to do. 😑6
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When white space isn't that significant.
disc=b*b-4*a*c;if(disc<0){
num_sol=0;}else{t0=-b/a;if(
disc==0){num_sol=1;sol0=t0/2
;}else{num_sol=2;t1=sqrt(disc/a;
sol0=(t0+t1)/2;sol1=(t0-t1)/2;}}2 -
Why? As a senior, you won't give some time to review my code, will let me merge my code to a branch, then blame us when it will produce the bug in production? why? 😐 Won't even arrange a code review/knowledge sharing session so that juniors can learn at least something. Even you won't encourage us write test cases. If seniors don't follow, are the juniors to blame? 🙂3
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How do you deal with your juniors when they do any mistakes? Do you praise them when they overcome any challenges they were facing? Do you blame them rather correcting them? Do you balance both praise and blame to them? Just curious. 😅5
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Sometimes I feel like I can achieve everything in this very moment, sometimes, I'm like "meh! why do I exist? why I'm working that hard." 🥴1
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Did you get any seniors like these... we need to do that and that but tomorrow I won't remember and do as I told. 🫠 He won't wake up until any production bug arises.
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Hy to all,
I managed to install Archlinux after 3 days of continues documentation but I still have some problems that I need to solve.
1. Any idea how to run gnome-terminal?
I've set the locale if you guys are wondering and installed vt3.
2. Couldn't install visual studio code.
3. How do I install themes. I have gnome gui.
I've read the arch documentation but still can't figure out how to solve some of the problems. If you guys have a website with a good guide or any tips that would be great.
Thx in advance.1 -
Are there any risk in running Duel Boot (Windows 7 & Ubuntu) at the same time? Are there good tutorial you can provide? I wanna be linux guy. Kinda confused!8
-
!rant
Is there a notification that someone has your post as a favorite?
Just thought about that when I went back to my favorites.2 -
AWS or Digital Ocean?
What will be the best choice in case of costing as well as managing by single developer? 😅
I'm having difficulty to choose one for a long-lasting project of mine. Kindly, your suggestion with explanation will be helpful to me.
Technology: Spring Framework
Thank you.7 -
Great practice/skill sharpening idea for my fellow mad dogs that like to get down in multiple languages/syntaxes:
Pick something simple that won't cause too much stress, but will make you sweat a little bit and put up a good fight, ha!!!
For example, I picked the classic "Caesars Cipher" and picked 5 languages to create it in! I picked Dart, Java, Python, CPP, and C. Each version does the same thing:
1. Asks for a message
2. Runs the logic
3. Prints the message cipher.
4. To decrypt, you just run the same program again and enter the cipher text at the message input prompt. The message gets deciphered using the same logic an shows up as the original text.
The kicker:
Only dox/books allowed for reference. Otherwise it wouldn't push you to get better!!!
Python, C, and CPP were EASY, even with me never having used C before. I am great at using Dart, and that one really challenged me for some reason, but I finally got it. The previous 3 langs took less than 40 lines of code each (with Python being only 18 I believe). Dart actually took somewhere around 50, and Java took about 371784784. (Much love to Java though for real!)
Kinda boring as shit, but I gotta tell you it felt fuckin GREAT to look at all 5 of those programs after completing them, no matter how barbaric... especially when you complete 1 or 2 in a language you've never used or maybe felt really challenged by. Simple exercises that hold a lot of important, relatable logic no matter the subject is our lifeblood!!!9 -
!Rant
What are your opinions about Kite?
It's an AI that acts as your very own pair programmer.
Links:
https://youtube.com/watch/...
Or
https://kite.com1 -
My first working code added to the office's project's codebase. It's really an amazing feeling to see my written code along with other dev's code. The senior developers were very supportive and helpful. There is a lot to learn. 😁
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Happy National Backwards day January 31 (in the US) So for today all of us left handed dyslexics are correct 😁
Fun fact
leonardo da vinci used to write from right to left and wrote his letters backwards. The earliest cipher I can think of.2 -
Learning how to build micro services using Spring Cloud. As I'm not familiar with this architecture, the company's lead engineer suggested me to do research & development on it, recommended me to follow official guide lines before involving me to the current under development project.
What's your advice regarding - what to keep in mind while learning micro service architecture (could be in one sentence)? It will be helpful to me. ^_^ Thank you.2 -
ChatGPT made my life easier! 😌
Now I'm the 10x Developer LinkedIn People talked about. 😎
Though I didn't find Bard as responsive as ChatGPT! 🫠22 -
Hy all,
I have a question to those that use nodejs, express.
A while back I've seen a project from a friend of mine and one thing intrigued me.
He was using a route.json file to call from it in his back-end api.
I am a noob still but I would really like to know what was that technique he was using.
I hope my description wasn't to vague.4 -
I hate to even ask but...Thot I'd fool with the Zodiac cipher, Z408. Managed to paste the frequencies of English letters into Android Drive. Multiply that by 408 gives the expected # of letters. So I drag the 1st equation down the column to select the cells but that's ALL it does. Have used 2 other sheets, same thing. What's going on?1
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