My last employer lost 6 devs and 2 designers within a month because they thought money could buy them the right to treat employees like shit.

F_ money. We love our self respect more.

Friend: Your job is so easy. I just made a website in 15 mins.
Me: oh ok. Show me.
Friend: mynewwebsite.blogspot.com
Me: (facepalm)

Me — A normal web designer

*How my relatives introduce me to someone new *
- " Meet my nephew. He works for an IT company. He is a computer engineering."

😶

This will be a long rant.

Met this person through my brother's friend. He wanted a cheap static website with a few products images for his handicraft store. I agreed as it would not take much time. He paid me in full upfront.

I registered the domain and created all the page templates with dummy contents. I uploaded the site under a staging sub-domain and asked him for the contents, but he said he was a bit busy and would give them to me later on.

After almost 2 years, out of nowhere, he got back to me and told me he didn't want that old website anymore but he wanted a new personal website. What shocked me was that he told me that he would only pay me for the domain and space but won't pay me for the website as his pervious work was never complete. I denied straight forward and told him I would keep the 80% amt for my work done but he kept telling me I hadn't done anything except place a few images in some html files. Hahaha, After a few in and out mails I told him I didn't wanted his money and would refund all of it, but this shitty guy had a messed of mind. He started posting messages of my fb wall about how i was a fraud and I had taken his money. Things got intense. I had decided to sue this cheap minded asshole but after my brother's friend convinced me not to and apologized on his behalf. He told me not to worry about it and move on.

Haven't heard from him till now.
Thank you for reading till this far.

Headhunter: So how many years of experience do you have with X?

Me: Why does it matter? I have been a software engineer for a decade, I can pick up anything in a matter of weeks.

Headhunter: *writes in his notepad: 0 experience with X"*

PM: We have to do this this and this. How long will it take you?
Me: Looks like a 4 hr job
PM: ok
Me: Still not complete after 2 days

Me every time :D

Our team is expanding and our boss hired an agency to find candidates. Today a headhunter on linkedin just offered me this position. Dafuq, at least they could check if I'm not working there on the same position.

Thought this was funny from a recruiter

When they ask you, if you have heard about scrum before ?
Me: Yes, I watch Silicon Valley XD

Upwork Job post:
I want a small website where you can post product images with title, price and descriptions. It should have a search functionality like amazon. The users must be able to add products it in their cart, post reviews and buy from there. I want it to integrate with PayPal and other payment methods. And yes, i want to be able to write blog post too.

Budget; $50

XD

A bit over a week ago a headhunter contacted me for a new opportunity.
I thought about it, but declined because I'm afraid to leave job certainly.
I regretted turning it down hours after I did, but didn't want to admit it so I kept quiet.

Today he send me an email that there would never be an easy time to make decisions, and that I had all the opportunities that were possible.

He has no idea how much motivation he just gave me.

Client: I want it to be a black color.
Me: but this is black
Client: Not this black, I want the kind of black you see when I turn off my TV
Me: :/

That moment when your developer friends talk about some new programming language and all you can do is just nod your head because you don't have a clue.

PS. They will definitely read this rant and know the next time, I just nod my head :D

Headhunter: what is your motivation to work here
Me: you contacted me about this role
Headhunter: *sigh*
Me: 🤦‍♂️🤷‍♂️

My usual day at work, as a Designer.
Boss: Wow! Awesome design. Great work. I loved it.
Me: Thank you.
Boss: But wait, I have some change suggestions.
(After a while, gives 10-15 change suggestions that will completely change the overall design)

I decided to go freelance/contracting. Headhunters keep pitching me permament roles (and I love watching them run out of pitch lines :D )

Headhunter: This job can't do your asking salary, but can offer career development.

Me: Already did that. was Engineer, then Architect, then CTO. I'm actually stepping back to be an Engineer.

Headhunter: Ok well, in this job you can do things start to finish, see them through to the end.

Me: I actually get bored after a while. Prefer change.

Headhunter: Well this place has a great culture and fun atmosphere!

Me: It's an insurance company mate...

Headhunter: "For this new role you would be the first developer in the company responsible for both the back and frontend, you will also have to test your deliverables, give support to users and report to the..."

*CLICK*

Had to hang up on dat shit 🙉

just got a linkedin msg

"Hello, im from a headhunter company, looking for..."

THEY ARENT EVEN TRYING ANYMORE

I finally got a promotion! I like my new responsibilities and the pay will be much more appropriate. (I was underpaid before.)
I guess I can up my headhunter wish list by a level or two...

Headhunter called about a rejection for an assignment I did:

Assignment had malformed data examples
Assignment had unrealistic timespan for completion
Assignment used item stocks for a shop setup
Assignment didn't use any prices just item stocks

Who builds a webshop without prices in the first place?

So done with this job hunting assessment bullshit.

Gmail: We will be supporting css media queries from now on.

Users: Bitch please, we still use Outlook as our default email app.

What the heck is wrong with these recruiters? You have a good facebook group with rules that states not to post ads or job listings. Then this headhunter just joins and ignoring the rules start pointing their job posts. What's worse is they are even posting unrelated programming languages. This ain't a people farm scumbags!

I started cleaning out the recruiters and headhunters from my linked in connections ... And I highly underestimated the workload of such a task ... FML

TL;DR: This year I changed job to a quite toxic company and because I have to work for two different clients in parallel I'm burning out. I need suggestions about telling about my mental health to my employer or request to change clients because of their incompatibility

----

At the begin of this year I changed work from a small startup (which was nice, but they didn't pay very much) to a consulting company and since then I'm experiencing my first burnout.

Just to give some context, the first month or two months in this new position were nice: the project I've been put on was difficult, but the other people in the team were very kind and helped me navigate through the codebase. After there quiet months, I've been put on a second project (in parallel with the first one), same domain but different client and the two clients must not know that I work for other clients. This doesn't work particularly well because both of the clients require me a full--time presence and both the teams have the tendency to call you without any warning and without setting up a meeting on calendar and beacuse of this I pass 3/4 of my day on such useless meetings (which many of them I have to be present at the same time, and sometimes one meeting is in English and one in Italian) without getting any job done and now both my leads are getting frustrated by my delays.

To make it all worse, when I was contacted from the headhunter it was for a mobile developer position, but because of my previous position my employer thought that I could temporary work on one java project because there was scarcity of developers and I could be a nice fit.

I'm not sure if I sum up my situation clearly of it's confused (I'm sorry about that), but tomorrow I plan to call my employer to tell him that I can't take it anymore and something has to change, I just don't know if I should put it on the incompatibility of the two clients, my mental health or both

This headhunter even took the time to bold out the hipster verbs like: blockchain, microservices, angular, react and vue keywords and hashtags ...

K thx bye

*BLOCKED*

I am the responsible for the atlassian Suite at work, as I maintain the systems, set them up, and stuff.

One day, our crowd (the authentication and authorization application) just went crazy. At like lunch time it could not connect to the AD anymore. No reasons. Throwing XSRF errors (cross site scripting), because http would connect to https. "won't do it, fuck you" it told me. Out of the blue. Noone changed anything. And yea, seriously. Noone did.
It just refused to connect (as connecting to AD is connecting yourself with you own api. And refusing yourself talking to yourself). It runs behind a proxy. Therefore http/https. Well, this worked for years. But out of sudden not anymore.

Yea. Fuck you.

It was reported some hours later, at like 3pm, as people could not login to the applications using crowd as authentication and authorization server.

Tried to debug the system, where nothing was did, to make it work. At best time to fail.

First workaround: if you are logged into one of the other applications of atlassian, just refresh the site, so your SSO token gets a refresh and you are signed on again.

Then I searched more and more. And more.
But nothing worked, nothing helped.

So I addressed an emergency maintenance, take down the whole Suite, restart crowd, to apply some changes to it's settings, not knowing what happening then, because all connections of SSO will then be released. Sent out the mail like 30 minutes beforehands.

While waiting for the window, I just typed my credentials... And redid, and redid, so to type and being bored.
Three minutes before the window...

It just worked again.

Well. Wtf. Serioudl
Just came back.

No Intrusion, no changes at all. Just came back, as nothing has happened.

Kind of best part of this story... A headhunter messaged me on my way home to offer me a job as an Atlassian Suite SysAdmin for a company, at kinda the double of my salary.

At first I was thinking to go there, and when someone then asked me sth about Atlassian just start to laugh and then leave still laughing...

But then I very nicely respond that I dont want to cry at work. And wished him best luck.

I am doing some bad upgrades now on our Suite. Very painful.
And I looked into the start scripts. Some Look like the untalented intern tells another one to write scripts. Seriously wtf.

Today I followed the guide to Update a confluence and change database to Postgres. Didnt work, Postgres error.
Try it again, jquery won't load. Next try, tomcat not starting anymore. Did same thing. Every fucking time.

Yea. Maintenance window to get a nice new export soon. Will only take an hour.

To switch database in confluence, you need to set it up very fresh. And then Import your export.
Export takes an hour at our system.
Importing maybe the same time. Hope it will work (hint: Nope).

Oh, can be nice also. Just tell the Bitbucket to migrate databases, there is a fucking setting for it. Enter new database, ready, go, finished.

At least they don't raise costs very much every kinda year.
Oh sorry, yes, they do.

Title yourself 'object oriented developer'...anyway noone of the stupid headhunters will ever learn what this means and what you might be else. They just 'google'

How did you get to know about your latest job as dev? Referral? Headhunter? Classifieds?