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So when I joined this community, I was bit embarrassed because I am a tester and everyone around was a dev.
But I was wrong. I was welcomed here with a warm heart. I got love beyond expectations.
In those early days, all I wanted was enough votes so that I could afford my favourite t-shirt and matching shoes in avatar builder.
Not only I got those, but some free sticker swag and soon enough the squishy ball.
I made friends and I openly brag in public that I have some awesome friends from around the globe.
An angry yet down to earth German ranter.
The Pink Goddess.
The script master Brit.
The sysadmin enganeer from Belgium.
The account deleter from Australia.
Some awesome Muricans.
The privacy guy from the Netherlands.
Sysadmin from Sweden.
French, Swiss, Japanese, Indonesian, Burmese, Swedish, South Koreans, Middle Eastern, Fillipino, and even some fellow crazy Indians as well.
I am fucking proud to call you all my friends.
Upvotes hardly matter to me. Interaction is what I am here for. And you guys make me feel at home even though I am tester.
Founded the Team Raven and Lol club. The random mention activity was also fun.
But never did I thought I would reach the 4th top ranter position. Beating the master in his own game? Lol.
What next? I look forward to meet you all in real life. Thank you David and Tim.
Thank you devRant 😊94
How to become a developer in 2016:
Step 1: Install Linux
Step 2: Brag everywhere that you've installed Linux and removed Windows
Step 3: ?????
You are now a developer19
Classmate: Oh, are you programming? You know, I'm a really great programmer... You can practically call me a hacker, because of my skills. I can't brag much, because I'm too modest for that.
Me: Cool! What languages do you know?
Classmate: I know how to use scratch.
I have this one friend who thinks he is a tech guru just because he plays video games a lot and started to study cs for one year. Now he got a job as sysadmin and it is funny to hear him brag about the job in front of non-tech people because he sounds like a CSI Cyber episode, just throwing tech words at the people and I know that he talks bullshit.
But I have to admit, he knows how to sell himself. Probably that's how he got the job in the first place because it cannot be his experience.
Yesterday he called me, to help him edit something on a linux server. I told him "To edit the file type 'vi FILENAME' and then you can edit. I have to go now, I have a meeting." :]23
Ms fanboy I used to know used to brag about his 10gb of Skype history.
What he hears: I'm so social and cool and stuffs.
What I hear: I've given about 10gb of personal data to Microsoft and several intelligence agencies.
It's all about perspective.12
No, I wont help you solve your stupid problem. If you are not able to read the wiki or the man pages - Arch linux is not for you.
You have only proven that you are stupid enough to listen to other people who likes to brag how good the are, but actually do not know shit.20
I can’t count money as quick. I don’t know how to operate a cash register. I’m bad at following small tasks in the kitchen. Ex: girlfriend yells at me for putting unstrained yolk in recipe (after straining it).
I can’t lift heavy stuff. Out of breathe helping my mom move. My uncle told me, “if you can’t do that, how can you work?” Then he touts his son around proudly for being in the army. I felt like shit for years.
My cousins told me to get a job at McDonald’s to learn the value of a dollar. I spent all this time studying and hadn’t found a single job at the time (not that I was looking). I was living off financial aid and some income from an app that sold for a dollar on the App Store.
I would mess up if I worked there. It was depressing guys. These people who worked at McDonald’s and Starbucks. It was like a cool club that I couldn’t be a part of! I wanted to be that smooth barista at Starbucks with a smug look on my face. Making coffee for all the ladies and writing hearts next to their name on the cup.
The responsibilities of going to work day after day and blowing your paycheck at a meal at Denny’s with your friends. Complaining about not getting enough hours and talking about adult stuff! Sigh sigh sigh. Oh and taxes! Let’s complain about taxes on a single W-2 just for the hell of it (not sure why they do this when you can file a simple 1040EZ) even though we get a refund.
After many paid internships (roughly 3), now I may be receiving an offer that is 100k+ with a 401k and all benefits I can imagine. Free food up the wazoo. Gym on site. Happy hour Friday’s.
I brag about taking a shit for an hour at work and coworkers don’t give a shit. Or taking a day off to do personal errands anytime.
Having my own place in a nice area (though the cost of living is enough to take care of 3 families in another state). Supporting my girlfriend through school and helping her with her dreams of art.
Going to fancy dinners and not worrying about the bill afterwards.
Accidentally damaging my 2017 Honda Accord and not giving a fuck because I can pay $900 for repair with less than a week of work.
But I can’t help but think that all this time..
I could’ve just quit and worked at McDonalds. I could’ve been one of the cool kids..6
A programmer finds a frog and picks it up. To his astonishment, the frog speaks.
- "Kiss me and I'll turn into a princess."
The programmer puts it in his pocket and moves on. The ignored frog speaks again.
- "Kiss me and I'll turn into a princess. I'll even kiss you and let you hold my hand for a day."
Once again ignored, the frog ups the stakes.
- "Alright, turn me into a princess and I'll be your girlfriend for a week. You can even show me to your friends."
- "Seriously, guy, I'm hot. I'll have sex with you, I'll tell all your friends we did it and you were awesome, you can use me as a trophy to brag."
This prompted a response out of the programmer:
"Look, I'm a programmer, I don't have time for a girlfriend. But a talking frog, that's kinda cool."5
2 hours, maybe 2.5.
No one works for more than that, it's not how brains work. Or bodies for that matter, you gotta pee eventually.
OK maybe I'm pedantic and shouldn't count breaks... But then where lies the threshold? A fifteen minute coffee break? An hour long lunch break?
Could we use scrum storypoints to brag then (I once finished 12 points in a day!) — not really, because they're not standardized units of work.
Lines of code then? Well, the dev who copy pastes Java classes would beat the guy adjusting a dense Python script, without necessarily doing more.
No, the only true measure is of course grams of amphetamine per week, and in that metric I win from everyone.
Apple is just like that one popular, hot girl in school.
Everything looks great and when you have it you have something to brag about and once you're inside it's awesome. But sooner or later you'll find out it only wants your money and it's not worth the price.5
So I ordered my own stickers at my local store here, all of this costs $5, with 3 stickers for each set12
I really like writing down my thoughts, solutions etc. when I’m solving a problem and for doing that I use my personal fountain pen. This is my favourite pen so far(have used Pilot metropolitan before). This is the monteverde invincia deluxe edition. Did cost around $100.
I’m not trying to brag or something but I will probably never go back to cheap pens ever again.28
Quick recap of my last two weeks: 15 year old production server is basically dead, boss has taken over calls and claims credit for "resolving" outages (even though my coworker and I did the work, but ultimately the traffic died down enough to where it wasn't an issue anymore).
I go to a meeting to plan migration to a better server, boss bitches about not getting invited, I tell him I invited myself, and then he lectures about how that's not our job.
Different boss says we're migrating a schema for an application that should have been decommissioned 5+ years ago to use as a baseline. I explain what's going on, he says he understands, and proceeds to tell higher bosses it's perfect because there will be no user impact. OF COURSE THERE'S NO FRICKING IMPACT, YA DUNCE! there are no users!!!!
I merge two email threads together, since they discuss the same thing, but with different insight, and get yelled at, even though they requested it.
The two bosses I like are OOO for the next week, too, so I'm just sitting here hoping I don't say something that'll get me fired or sent to sensitivity training.
I'm just starting my on call rotation and don't know that I can do this. I cry when my phone rings, now, because I experience physical pain with how hard I cringe.
I got yelled at today by a guy because SOMEONE I DON'T KNOW assigned a ticket to him directly, rather than to the proper team (not his team). So I had to look into that, which at least had the benefit of preventing a catastrophic outage to our customers world wide, but no one will know because I don't brag at work; I'm too busy doing my job as well as most of my division/section/larger team, whatever the hell it's called. I saved us probably 25+ hours of continuous troubleshooting call from noticing something tiny that the people "smarter" than me missed.
**edit: sorry for typos; got my nails done yesterday but they feel like they're a mile long and I have to relearn how to type**7
Me — A normal web designer
*How my relatives introduce me to someone new *
- " Meet my nephew. He works for an IT company. He is a computer engineering."
Got a bottle of bourbon as a reward from boss after completing a task.
Thats it, just wanted to brag a little2
Word of day:
Slang for person who can print "hello world", "hello", or some random string of character in multiple programming languages and whose knowledge is limited to printing string.
Synonyms: hypocrite, stupid, script Kidde....18
Websites that brag about how much coffee they drunk and share zany facts about their employees. "Sarah is a scorpio and enjoys the smell of wet grass."
Am I the only one who doesn't give a flying fuck?5
Sorry 'bout the brag but..
That moment when you actually forgot you study, look stuff up 5 mins before on the train and get 10/10 in some random test you attended last minute.👏3
Am I only one thinking that Linux is kind ok cliche among programmers. Some of them brag about using Ubuntu over Windows like it makes you a better programmer. I have seen brilliant Windows developers and shitty Linux developers. My point is not that Windows is better, just stop bragging that you are using Ubuntu, it does not make you smart or better than others.20
Apple products are fucking trash, I don't give a shit if you have money to waste, but don't fucking brag about how superior your 3000$ excuse of a fucking laptop is the best laptop in the world when you could easily afford a desktop with 2 1080 GTX in SLI for that price.
"but mac has lyk no bugs, its so good"
NO FUCKING SHIT, THE OS IS BUILT WITH THE HARDWARE USED IN MIND. THEY DON'T BUILD 500000 MODELS OF MACBOOKS, THEY JUST HAVE TO MAKE ONE MODEL WORK, AND ALL OTHER LAPTOPS WHO HAVE THE SAME HARDWARE WILL.
This is fucking ridiculous.
That's like designing a site, but only for Firefox because that's the browser you use and you expect everybody to use that browser. Obviously it'll work fine on your machine.
I am so fucking sick of Apple fan boys.
I am fully aware some of you devranters are apple fans, but this has been something I've wanted to say for ages, albeit i'm a little late to the party.
Stop wasting money on overpriced trash.28
Today I got a standing aviation by panel in my final year projects presentation. It was such an emotional moment and I went numb. I don't have an impressive grades so it meant a lot to me. I just wanted to share this somewhere please bear with me.
And to anyone out there who think that they can't make it, please just keep going. I just want to say, make your journey beautiful. If you love doing it, you won't care to reach some destination.17
Vim users be like : "It took me 3 months to learn how to actually use Vim and I'm am totally gonna brag about it".10
By and far undergrad in the USA
Full of a bunch of social justice blow-hards that think they’ve seen and thought of everything and can now preach the gospel and everybody has to listen to the garbage coming out of them
They went around vandalizing campus, threatening to kill people and telling whatever bullshit they had to to get people they didn’t like expelled, and for what? Some blasted ideology tho which they fundamentally owe nothing. And in doing so they literally embodied the very thing they proclaimed to hate in volumes (let’s not even mention the irony of the fact that they hate /anything/ much less brag about it) so copious it made people who own 500 guns look like a basket full of kittens.
Can’t say I blame them though, that’s just what happens when we force people that are on the dull side of things into an environment full of these “big” ideas. They probably never had a chance to shine at anything before and now all of a sudden they can run their mouth and get the dogmatic compelled applause and they develop an appetite for it. It’s just basic human psychology.
Of course I’m salty about it because I was frequently the target of these racist drunken crack-heads (yes, they were on basically everything, because of course; the mark of a true enlightened spirit is copious amounts of party drug use), so I won’t forget it believe me.
So in short, fuck undergrad, and I wish the best of a warm shower of bricks and asbestos for our brilliant friends.15
Well now, I wouldn't want to mention anyone specific since talking about someone behind their back and calling them 'weird' isn't very nice. 🙄 But absolutely HYPOTHETICALLY speaking, if I HAD a weird coworker, they would probably...
- ... strut about the office, telling all how great yet underpaid their work is
- ... write lots of 'concepts' because coding is for lowly programmers
- ... insist that the code they have to do when boss is looking is simply too complicated for unit testing, and 'that's great!'
- ... brag about their/wear to work a ridiculous array of ties in every colour imaginable, when everyone else shows up casual
- ... trap people into listening to them talk for hours about...
-- ... ties
-- ... their misspent youth
-- ... how awesome they are/were/will be
-- ... why it's a good idea to eat cheese
- ... never let me forget I'm female, coz *insert BS reasons why all devs must by nature be male here*
- ... send me little unsolicited notes and mails with funny (sexist) jokes *har har*
- ... be let go, at which point everyone else discovers why they had so much time that they could spend chatting away at the watering hole
- ... earn the eternal hatred of anyone picking up the pieces of their 'work'
- ... try to steal our customers away who will laugh in their bloody face
Just my theory, of course..3
A rather long(it's 8 hrs long to be precise) story
So I just finished an amazing homework assignment. The goal was to open a new shell on Linux using a C program. We were asked to follow instructions from http://phrack.org/issues/49/14.html . However the instructions given were for 32 bit processors and we had to do same for 64 bit machines. In a nutshell we had to write a 64 bit shell code and use buffer-overflow technique to change the return address if the function to our shell code.
I was able to write my own shellcode within 1hr and was able to confirm that it's working by compiling with nasm and all. Also the "show-off-dev" inside me told me to execute "/bin/bash" instead of "/bin/sh"(which everyone else was going to do). After my assembly code was properly executing shellcode, I was excited to put it in my C code.
For that, I needed opcodes of assembly code in a string. Following again the "show-off-dev" inside me, I wrote a shell script which would extract the exact opcodes out of objdump output. After this I put it in my C code, call my friend and tell him that "hell yeah bro, I did it. Pretty sure sir is gonna give me full marks etc etc etc". I compiled the code and BOOM, IT SEGFAULTS RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY FRIEND. Worst, friend had copied a "/bin/sh" code from shellstorm and already had it working.
Really burned my ego, I sat continuously for 8 hrs in front of my laptop and didn't talk to anyone. I was continuously debugging the code for 8 hrs. Just a few minutes ago, I noticed that the shellcode which I'm actually putting in my C code is actually 2 bytes shorter than actual code length. WHAT THE F. I ran objdump manually and copied the opcodes one by one into the string (like a noob) and VOILA ! IT WORKED !!!
TURNS OUT I DIDN'T CUT THE LAST COLUMN OF OPCODES IN MY SHELL SCRIPT. I FIXED THAT AND IT WORKED !!
THE SINGLE SHITTY NUMBER MADE ME STRUGGLE 8 HRS OF MY LIFE !! SMH
Lessons learnt :
1)Never have such an ego that makes you think you're perfect, cuz you're retarded not perfect
2)Examine your scripts properly before using them
3)Never, I repeat NEVER!! brag about your code before compiling and testing it.
If you've read this long story, you might as well press the "++" button.6
//I don't mean this to brag, or upset anyone for that matter- just there are a lot of sad posts.
I only mean this to appreciate them.
Growing up, my parents supported anything I wanted to be.
They paid for my first computer(s), and always made sure I had the resources to learn anything I wanted to.
They understood when I dropped out of high school.
They ask about all my projects, and they're supportive of all of it, usually fascinated.
Even the parts they don't fully understand- they really do try to, and it makes it so much easier to work knowing that they're impressed with me.
This Friday is my first real interview where I hope to start as a junior, at my dream job. They've never been prouder.
I can never thank them enough8
God knows how many morons try to brag to me on how they know hardware programming because they own an Arduino, whenever I say I study Electrical Engineering.5
Joined my current company as a Frontend Engineer 2 years back. They recently got funded and started hiring with a higher salary range. Not to brag but I'm pretty good at my job with 6yr of experience but my current salary makes me a lower mid-level engineer now and I'm the only frontend guy here.
So, now they're asking me to take interviews of the applicants who are applying for the senior position.
Why do people have to be such an assholes to the employees, man?3
I started attending this IoT class in some computer training school. During my first class, I was early because I had the raspberry pi class earlier in the day. A guy came up to me and started chatting to me, he was bragging about how he created some big projects, how he works in his dad's company which develops IoT products (he codes it). Later on in class he talked about how he hacked his school's server or something and changed his marks. Whenever he brags, he has a tendency to use a deeper voice (which is pretty annoying).
Anyways so I thought he is pretty good and maybe I can learn a thing or two from him. A few class later, I started having my doubts, why? Because he doesn't know how to debug code, he copies the lecturer's code and still copies it wrong, and he doesn't know what variables and constants are. He uses IE and doesn't know about GitHub.
Now he asks me or the guy in front for help in class. He makes the class more fun, it's funny listening to him brag. Love it.2
My company claims to have a talent retention problem, which to an extent is true. But then they humble brag about how their salary system works and I am like "Yeah that makes sense." See what they fail to realize is that software engineering isn't as niche (using that term loosely) as the other engineering disciplines they hire. They only adjust salaries based on those of the sector they're in and not the software industry itself. They say "we don't compare ourselves to Microsoft and Google because we're not in the same sphere." I'm like "yeah, but when you have a sw staff that regularly snags you patents and are considered some of the best in the industry, where the hell do you think they're gonna go?"
I guess what I'm saying is I want them to raise their average salary because I'm terrible and I must use the threat of them losing the smart guys if I am ever to get paid more. I see no holes in this plan.1
Basically out of laziness, and impatience, though.
Still, go me.4
Caught up in a deathmarch project with buzzword driven, childish architects who treat devs like insects and brag about their non existant experience and achievements while imposing completely idiotic requirements and unrealistic milestones. I feel shit right now.1
Ordinary people brag about something they did in sports or somethin else boring they
did in their living.
Tech geeks brag about finally succeeding in installing Arch Linux.1
I know this guy through some mutual friends that tries to brag about everything he does that involves a computer in some way.
One time (probably 4 months ago), he used inspect element to replace the text on the Google homepage with like Amazon versions (Amazon mail, Amazon drive, etc), then proceeded to take a picture of the screen WITH HIS PHONE and show every single person he saw.
Every time I talk to him, he always brings up some pointless thing he did to make it seem like he knows what he's doing. But whenever I mention some more specific stuff (today I mentioned Linux), he claims to know exactly what I'm talking about but quickly changes the subject to something about his car (he drives a Jeep and has to let everyone know, like an Arch Linux user)
Dude just claims to know everything there is to know and can't back it up and it gets more annoying every fucking day
Anyone else ever have to deal with someone that clearly don't know a ton, but knows just enough to be dangerous/annoying as fuck?14
This isn't a rant. This is a brag on my team.
I asked the team what exactly a feature did. They read me the test code.
I may get a little weepy. So proud.
So I log into a great new site with my development machine. 64G of RAM, and 2 hex core CPU's; GTX 1070 video, SSD, etc. 4K display screen. (Motherboard is 5 years old, not trying to brag, just give context). I regularly put 8 pages of text on the screen side by side. Split ergonomic keyboard.
It wants me to load a mobile app for "full access".
Yea, why look at the world with wide open eyes when you can view everything through a cardboard toilet paper tube and type with your thumbs???
== John ==
Over the last year, I’ve only started learning computer science at uni, never done it before.
I’ve done units in:
- Alg. and programming fundamentals in python
- Intro to comp sci
- alg. and data structures
- theory of computation
Guess the point of this is, “why do people code, what aspirations do you all have?”
Cause rn, I’m all about “I have no idea what I’m doing, coding just seemed cool and I wanted to try it out.” Don’t know where to go
Someone inspire me???
Here is a legit reason for you to brag about what you do and what you’re going to do 😉13
I don't really have to help her with tech, however, let me just brag a little..
I convinced my mom to try out Linux a few years back. To this day she still uses Manjaro, and tells me she has less issues than in her Windows days. So proud.1
Oh I have quite a few.
#1 a BASH script automating ~70% of all our team's work back in my sysadmin days. It was like a Swiss army knife. You could even do `ScriptName INC_number fix` to fix a handful of types of issues automagically! Or `ScriptName server_name healthcheck` to run HW and SW healthchecks. Or things like `ScriptName server_name hw fix` to run HW diags, discover faulty parts, schedule a maintenance timeframe, raise a change request to the appropriate DC and inform service owners by automatically chasing them for CHNG approvals. Not to mention you could `ScriptName -l "serv1 serv2 serv3 ..." doSomething` and similar shit. I am VERY proud of this util. Employee liked it as well and got me awarded. Bought a nice set of Swarowski earrings for my wife with that award :)
#2 a JAVA sort-of-lib - a ModelMapper - able to map two data structures with a single util method call. Defining datamodels like https://github.com/netikras/... (note the @ModelTransform anno) and mapping them to my DTOs like https://github.com/netikras/... .
#3 a @RestTemplate annptation processor / code generator. Basically this dummy class https://github.com/netikras/... will be a template for a REST endpoint. My anno processor will read that class at compile-time and build: a producer (a Controller with all the mappings, correct data types, etc.) and a consumer (a class with the same methods as the template, except when called these methods will actually make the required data transformations and make a REST call to the producer and return the API response object to the caller) as a .jar library. Sort of a custom swagger, just a lil different :)
I had #2 and #3 opensourced but accidentally pushed my nexus password to gitlab. Ever since my utils are a private repo :/3
FUCK OPENSSL. I LOVE IT AND HATE IT SO FUCKING MUCH. WORK FASTER AND BE LESS CONFUSING SO I CAN BRAG ABOUT MY PRETTY ENCRYPTION CODE SOONER. FUCK20
Oh gosh... This week a "friend" of mine will have a job interview for a company I am working at. This guy really just can't Code. He has no understanding of clean code, abstraction etc. He just knows the basics. But he loves to brag how good he is and got his bachelor degree. Damn I hate this guy and I hope HR won't hire him.7
hey ranteros! i like to dream and i know many of us dream of a nice machine to do anything on it, if you want to post the specs of your ideal build(s) (even a laptop, pre-built pc, space gray macbook pro... doesn't matter). and your current one.
cpu: intel i7-8700K (coffee lake),
gpu: nvidia geforce gtx 1080ti,
ram: 32gb ddr4,
ssd: samsung 960 evo 500gb,
hdd: 2tb wd black
motherboard: any good motherboard that supports coffee lake and has a good selection of i/o,
psu: anything juicy enough, silver rated,
cooling: i don't care about liquid cooling that much, or maybe i'm just afraid of it,
case: i accept any form factor, as long as it's not too oBNoxi0Us,
monitor: 1080p, maybe 1440p, i can't 4k because of the media i consume (i have tons of shit i watch in 720p) + other reasons,
keyboardmousecombo: i like logitech stuff, nothing fancy, their non mechanical keyboards are nice, for mice the mx master 2 is nice i think, i also don't care about rgb because i think it's too distracting and i'm always in darkness so some white backlight is great
os: windows 10, tails (i have some questions about tails i'll be asking in a different post,
i think this is enough for ideal, now reality:
brand: acer (aspire 7736z),
cpu: pentium dual-core 2.10ghz,
gpu: geforce g210m 2gb (with cuda™!),
ram: 4gb ddr3,
storage: hdd 500gb wd blue 5400rpm (this motherfucker stood the test of time because it's still working since i bought this thing (the laptop as it is) used in late 2009 although it's full of bad sectors and might anytime, don't worry i have everything backed up, i have a total of 5 hdds varying from 320gb to 1tb with different stuff on them),
screen: 17 inch hd-ready!!! (i think it's a tn panel), i've never done a test on color accuracy, but to my eyes it's bright, colorful, and has some dust particles between the lcd and backlight hah,
other cool things: dvd player/burner, full-sized keyboard with numeric keypad, vga, hdmi, 4 usb ports, ethernet, wi-fi haha, and it's hot, i mean so hot, hotter than elsa jean and piper perri combined,
os: windows 10, tails
if you read this whole thing i love you, and if you have some time to spare on a sunday you can share your dream rig and the sometimes cruel current one if you dare. you don't have to share them both. i know many will go b.o.b and say "what you're hoping to accomplish, i already did bitch.", that's cool as well, brag about your cool rig!8
Make me do almost everything and then call me during my vacation to quiz me on why the shit I DIDN'T do is broken. All while complaining about me and my objections undercommitting the rest of the team (whose busted shit I'll be on the hook to fix) every sprint.
But remember guys we fail as a team :^)
Suck my dick you fucking pricks.2
I've really struggled to make friends with people who code... and it's been absolutely frustrating. Does everyone in this industry have a god complex or something? Everyone I try to make friends with ends up being super narcissistic and self obsessed it's crazy. One of them wanted to be my mentor a while back, and we still talk occasionally, but after getting to know him I decided I didn't want to learn from him. It turns out he only mentors people to showboat his greatness and claim later that all their success is directly his doing. I decided I wasn't going to be one of those people and I only ever had 2 sessions from him. One of the best choices I've ever made. But I've found a lot of people who are programmers tend to be a lot like him. A lot of them I talk to will hit me up to brag about themselves or what they've done. But none ever ask what's been up with me or how my journey is doing? Is this just a normal thing in this industry or am I just meeting terrible people. It's made me appreciate my slightly dumber friends, cause at least they care about me and it shows.
More a rant than anything, but genuinely curious if anyone else has this issue... I'm starting my bootcamp soon and I'm hoping to make friends but I'm so concerned about this it's kind of giving me anxiety.14
This happen to me once when I was a young kid walking home from school.
There were two other guys with me, older than me. They were talking to each other about programming languages. I have been programming from a very young age so I knew a lot about programming and I knew a few languages back then, but they were taking about Java, a language which I wasn't into yet back then, so I just listened for a while to what they had to say.
The first guy told the other, "You know I'm great at Java." The other guy responded "I can do anything in Java." Then I said as a joke "Oh, can you do hello world?". The guy said "Hello what? What do you mean?" The other guy said. "Is that a retro game?" I just laughed. Then I told them to go learn how to output text in Java.
A bit of current history about these guys:
The first now works in C# for a quiz test company, he never learned Java or languages other than C#. The second one owns and works at a scrapyard. They are both great guys, but they like to brag.3
Rant mode: The guy in charge of the database were working on cannot even add a few lines of data without deleting all the data in the table and reloading it using a wizard!
And he recently got a "Best D.B.A. Award"?!
This is why I don't trust those who brag about their certificates.3
When I was starting my programing adventures I was intern in a "java position" that sucked so hard that I quited about 2 weeks in....
We would actually not code any single line... It was a fucking bullshit code generator for some shitty thing that I really didn't get and all we did was watch video tutorials about how to use it...
I was going insane...
There was this "senior" php dev at the team that used to brag that php was the most awesome fucking shit in the world and once said something like "I mean... Come on ... You can do anything in php... What can you do in java that you cant in php"
Oh boy... If it was today I would teach him some manners...
Netbeans is like the girl you pull at 3am in the kebab shop. You wouldn't brag about it, its bloated and bug ridden but it gets you there without having to shell out any more money.2
I know it's not that impressive in the dev world, but I'm finally making six figures (the lowest six figure value possible but STILL) and I can't really brag to my friends about dollar amounts so HURRAH. Accepted the offer yesterday, and I'm quite pleased about it.
Annoyed that it took so long (I'm 29), but I did have a two year long career break for a family medical issue/travel/quarter life crisis, so so it goes.11
Less a rant and more of a rave about the Racket language.
If you haven't heard of it, Racket is a Scheme/Lisp that eases programming language development.
Let me break down why this is handy. When you come to dislike a language, it's because of limitations in the language itself or its ecosystem. That, and you are always obliged to translate your ideas to the terms of the language, the libraries in that language, and the idioms in both. Overall it starts to feel like a cage, because even if you git gud at a limited language, you still might not be able to do the things you REALLY want to do.
Lisps turn this on its head by letting you translate the solution to your terms rather than making you translate your solution to its terms. Lisps are homoiconic, which is a fancy word meaning that all valid programs in the language are also valid literal expressions of data in the same language. The code/data divide collapses and you can at any moment decide "Hey, this code I'm writing? It's data now and I'mma generate stuff with it." That's when you start getting macros and the beginnings of serious metaprogramming.
Racket made this mind-bendingly powerful. To the point that some of the language features make you gawk and say "Ok, but why anyone would ever need to do THAT?!" Some examples include converting compile-time errors to run-time errors and writing your own exception handling system.
But the kicker is that Racket is the only language I know of where you can say "You know what? Racket is sucking at this thing I want to do right now. I wish my language looked like THIS" and then you can use Racket to write your language in terms of Racket, and then your language becomes a valid extension of the Racket ecosystem. Your custom language can still import and use the rest of the ecosystem.
So, in a single Racket project, you can have a typed language, an untyped language, a configuration language and a markup language, and all of them can use the same libraries. It also means that if you have an accountant, ops manager or designer in house, you can write a little language for them that that understand and integrate their understanding of a solution with your system.
Why are relatively few using this box of magic?
Well, for one thing, it's hard. Unlike most, Racket enjoys the benefits of seriously amazing, complete and correct documentation. Which SOUNDS great, but here's a direct quote from one part of it.
"The intent of a cross-phase persistent module is to support values that are recognizable after phase crossings. For example, when a macro transformer running in phase 1 raises a syntax error as represented by an exn:fail:syntax instance, the instance is recognizable by a phase-0 exception handler wrapping a call to eval or expand that triggered the syntax error, because the exn:fail:syntax structure type is defined by a cross-phase persistent module.
A cross-phase persistent module imports only other cross-phase persistent modules, and it contains only definitions that bind variables to functions, structure types and related functions, or structure-type properties and related functions. A cross-phase persistent module never includes syntax literals (via quote-syntax) or variable references (via #%variable-reference). See Cross-Phase Persistent Module Declarations for the syntactic specification of a cross-phase persistent module declaration."
The thing is, I know a little bit about what that means. I read their introduction guide meant for people new to the language, and made enough progress in the reference to understand these terms in isolation. But when I keep running into paragraphs like THAT, I have to review everything again because I just get lost.
The other problem may be that it has the classic Lisp Curse (http://winestockwebdesign.com/Essay...), which means its power is also its greatest weakness. The power of a programming language can grow strong enough that the people who contribute to society using it rarely bother to use each other's work.
Still, Racket has a more complete and cooperative ecosystem compared to other Lisps I've observed. I'm still a total fanboi of the language and would love to get a job using it, but it's probably a long time out.
Thanks for reading. I don't have a particular desire to tell you to drop what you are doing to use it, I just think it's cool and wanted to brag on it a bit.1
why do all of you get so hyped when you install arch linux? you guys sound like the type of people who jack off to arch lmao. lets keep it real tonight, some of you legit ejaculate fantasizing about arch linux like "ohh archh mm 💦💦 ohh tmux 💦 i3💦💦💦linux baby give me more👅💦"
maybe even cool hackermans who brag about installing arch wanna use it for hacking. r u a better hackerman now that u use arch linux ?10
Who would be interested in reviewing an old peice of Python code I wrote..? It's a few years old, and it uses basic procedual generation to cypher text (entry, or ASCII files) using a hashed password. It's a command line tool.
I used to brag about how "secure" it was, and now I'm curious if it is secure or not.
I plan on picking it back up and open-sourcing it, but I want to know what problems might be wrong with it now.10
Y'know, up until now, everyone was just bragging about who has the most ++s... (I'm kidding, that didn't really happen... I think...?)
But now that we have ++s in binary, we can literally brag about who has the LONGEST... string of ++s.
Not... something else. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Oh well, size doesn't matter anyway.
Happy Easter/April Fools! °u°2
So my friend works in this big MNC company with good pay. He has had good education and certifications. He runs into a simple issue with someone's github project he forked and calls me for me help to debug the issue. Just helped him figure out the reason for issue over the phone.
And here I am technically "jobless" and loser in my relatives eyes because I'm pursuing self employment with no cool certifications to brag about.
Not sure if I should feel stupid for the choices I made in my life.2
When I was a kid I wanted to be a carpenter like my dad, my parents reaction was always "just keep studying and you can do whatever you want, if you wanna study then do it and don't care about anything else we will help you".
Growing up I became a bit of a geek by hanging out with my uncles (they were the pc gurus in the old days, not anymore hehe). When choosing a college major I knew I wanted it in some kind of engineering, but had no idea besides that, I ended up choosing CS somewhat random and loved the thrill of solving problems so I stuck with it. During it all my parents only really said "as long as you study so you can have what we couldn't give you and do something you like, we will support you!"
I love my parents! 😄
Side note: I think my parents love to be able to brag about my accomplishments, kind of feels like they are entitled to though, since pretty much everything is thanks to them!4
Been at it inconsistently for two weeks and a few days now. Hitting approx 30 wpm with dvorak! Starting to slowly integrate it into my daily work. I'm on my way to becoming ambitextrous. 😎11
I have co workers who laugh at me everytime I discuss to them how we should create clean code. (create functions for repeating code, naming conventions, generic code).
I already created generic classes, generic database views that can be used by them if they want. But they create a new one with the same functionality.
I am a bit of a shy guy, and they are bit of loud, and I don't want to look like a know-it-all-guy, so I just let them do what they want.
I am just concerned how we can work easier by easily reading each others code.5
Working in a shared office space, everytime I hear somebody brag about the "AI" they have on their stack, I ask "Really? Can you show me where it sits??" just to see how confused they get thinking it might be a new tech concept.2
tl;dr i am proud of my universal program but annoyed it won't get appreciation.
i kept in mind that this tool might not only help my personal duties to be done more efficient but also might come in handy to all my colleagues having similar tasks to do. the downside is my colleagues having irrational computerphobia and i know for sure they will proceed to do these repetitive writings manually resulting in inconsistencies and an inefficient time management. while my wise wife tries to convice me that at least i had fun coding this stuff and having it supporting me with annoying tasks, it still bothers me being the only user, as it means no progression for the company. it riddles me how the colleagues, acknowledging us all being craftspeople in the first place, avoid use of computers whenever possible and rather rely on medieval working flows.
i find it quite amusing to be the 'can you fix my printer'-guy, but i just cannot handle this attitude. and everyone complains about having so much to do. get your shit together and start clicking these few buttons goddammit!
0) I can be as socially withdrawn as possible without getting eyes and comments on being socially withdrawn. Going to a tea house with a laptop to code in a corner sipping Earl Grey is great without getting questioned.
1) I can make whatever the hell I want. I can do whatever the hell I want. I can automate whatever the hell I want. And then I can Humble Brag™ to everyone.
2) Because it's fun. I get to meet more folks I haven't met before through hubs like this and programmer Discord servers. And we can be nerdy together.
Edit: Also because I have a fecking pillow fort on my bed made for tucking in while coding. It feels gud in pillow fort. All of us needs a coding pillow fort.2
Helping out a team, I was documenting some code/processes when I came across several classes that was logging a lot of, IMO, 'junk' that was unnecessary (and I knew wasn't being used in any Splunk alerts/reports)
I offer a refactoring suggestion, simplifying the data being logged, moving the duplicate code to a central location, maybe saving 10~20 lines of code. Didn't think it was a big deal because they were already actively working on the code and it was all new code (nothing deployed to production yet). Sent the suggestion to the lead developer and he responds:
Dev: "Yes, the changes looks fine, but not in scope of the project. Any out of scope work will need to be suggested at the end of the project, reviewed by the team, the project manager and approved by the vice president."
"Out of scope"? Logging data to Splunk needs a vice president's approval? WTF?
YOU PROBABLY HAVE THE PROJECT OPEN IN VISUAL STUDIO RIGHT NOW!!!
Along with the documentation the lead dev said they didn't have time to do, I send his boss and the dev team my suggested changes (before-after screen shots of the code) and offered to do the 2 minutes worth of work (again, this was new code, nothing in production and zero side affects to anything).
I even offered to create the splunk reporting/alerting against the data being logged (another item they said they would not have time to do)
About a minute later the lead dev responds..
Dev: "Those changes look good. I'll have Jake make those changes and we can test the logging when we deploy to dev on Monday. Thanks!"
Of course you will...fracking ass hat.
I'll bet my Battlestar Galactica DVD box set he was going to make the changes himself, brag to his boss how he refactored the code, saving X lines of code..blah blah blah to help *me* with documenting the logging portion.
My First ever VSCode extension is live.
A symbols tree view provider that supports PHP/TS/JS only (for now). Any suggestions/recommendations are welcomed !!!
Boy, does it feel good to feel like a real developer again 😎8
I'm thinking of writting off 4 years of my life i.e 2011 - 2015 i.e my college life. The baggages from that period is the biggest distraction in my life.
I made some bad choices and chose a stream that i eventually lost interest in, while on the other hand, i found my interest in programming. It was too late for me when i find my interest.
When my course completed, i had nothing to brag or be proud about but over 15 backpapers.
Two years since then the count of my back papers is down to 1.
Having to study for these failed exams on subjects i don't care anymore makes me hate myself.
But, I'm just 1 exam away from this stupid degree.
2 uses that i see in this degree:
- can confidently add in my resume that i graduated college.
- parents can be "proud" i finally have a degree and increase my chances in finding a match in matrimony. :/
However, these 2 advantages don't align with the life i vision. I don't want to live 9 to 5 work life, I'd rather be self employed in some way.
If i don't make it in the next exam, I'm gonna write it off. I might have to live with strained relationship with my parents and relatives after that.. :/5
the feeling when you pick up your AOP library that you've last updated on 10/Oct/2016, has single commit "Initial commit (MVP)", absolutely no docs and you touch a couple of places for 10-15 minutes and boom you get everything working ...
Thanks former self, thank you for actually being more or less logical, thinking and did coding like a boss..
Here we go another with another pet to get refactored and revived
Fuck, I can't stand ppl who brag about learning new languages when they can't produce quality code in their work language, and dont know any other rules than few basic ones that you learn at the beginning of being a programmer. Go kill yourselves, thanks1
Does anyone really enjoy doing self-assessments?
I find them agonizingly painful to do. I'm not usually one to brag about my own accomplishments so this is unnatural to me. Yet, it seems to be the way of things.
If your manager and you don't know where you stand in each other's estimation you need to talk more.7
[brag] Started working on implementation of REST service using Zend Expressive. got in to HATEOAS/Richardson maturity level and HAL + `application/vnd.error`..
nailed them in a day.. feel like a boss
There is a comic book app, let's call it 'the fucking awful crunchy roll manga app'.
Over two years, and four devices, 80% of the time it loads pages out of order, or the same three pages over and over, Making books unreadable. Reseting the app or device does not fix it. It's just random when it works.
Point being. Its a god damb gallery app! That's programing 101 shit. How dose a company this big, That does two things, stream video and display images in order, completely fuck up half of their entire market for years with no one fixing it?
I could program this thing in a week end. That's not a brag. This is almost literally a 'apps for dummies' throw away project .
Why? Just WHY?2