GF: I swear, you're spending more time staring at the screen than actually typing anything.
ME: Because literally 80% of coding is staring at the screen thinking about how to code something. My mind is an endless void of possible approaches to a problem.

My boss has never programmed before. Recently, he decided that I should print out all the code for an admittedly rather small project (10k lines of Java code, 200 pages printed out), and then have me explain every line to him.

Luckily, he didn't get past 'public static void main', especially since I hadn't even bothered to print out more than that!

void main ()
{
//Not working code
Also not working code
}

import java.util.Exception;
try {
public class A {
public static void main(String args[]) {
new Exception();
}
}
}
catch(Exception e) {
System.out.println("Got you BITCH");
}

My first code :-
#include<stdio.h>
void main()
{ printf("Hello Divya"); }

Output :- I have a boyfriend...

public class HelloDevRant
{
public static void main(String[] args)
{
//Commenting for reasons! ;)
System.out.print("Hello dear devRant community!\nI am new here!\nNice to meet you.");
}
}

First step of creating antivirus,

void main() {
printf("✅Scan Complete.
0 threat found.
Upgrade to premium");
}

My first code:-

#include<stdio.h>
void main() {
printf("Hello Priya");
}

Output:- I have a boyfriend!

Hi every developer! My name is Allen. English is not my native language so forgive me if I say something that does not make any sense. Let me tell you my story how I become a programmer. (I am still learning) My first computer was a DELL OptiPlex GX 720 desktop. My father bought it for our self-employee job. Before he allow me to use the computer, I used to sit next to him and watching what he do, what he click and what he gets. When he allow me to use the computer, I was slow at typing. One or 2 WPM (word per minute) my father taught me how to use the computer. Very slowly, my typing speed improves. I understand how to use the computer. but one day, I do what make me regret. I was playing with some executables, when I double clicking it, it does not work I used to associate files with apps. I associate music files with every player I want. So, I did what I used to, I associate exe files with windows media center! The computer started to open hundreds of windows media center (WMC for short) whenever an app is clicked, it opens windows media center. Today, I realized that windows were trying to open every app and every process that regularly run. However, since I associate it with WMC, instead of the app itself, it opens WMC some days after the mistake, I wonder how apps work and how I can create my own. My father  told me before that a program is simply a binary file that the computer can read. However, it was too advanced to me at the time.I begin my search with google. Everytime I search, it says "learn to code" or something like that. I see some C++ code but, it was disgusting. when I read just a few lines of a hello world code in java. it was too complex

What I seen

#$$#% $%&$%&*#!@

~

(&*%&$ (_(*^% #&&* (^^$(&^$%^( %^*$())

~

^$70^(`*#%`*#&%^)*!"   Hello world   "#@

~

~

The actual code:

class helloworld

{

    public static void main(String args[])

    {

         System.out.println("Hello World!");

     }

}

I look for an easy way but my attempts fail. then. I push

I to learn how to code.I try learning java. but it still

Very complex. i tried LibertyBASIC. from LibertyBASIC to

Java. after learning LibertyBASIC, it was easy!

LibertyBASIC -> Java -> Ruby -> NOW, C# and XAML

Today, I am learning C# and XAML.

My first OS                         :  Windows 7

My first Computer             :  DELL OptiPlex GX 720

My first successful click  :  The Start menu

My first used App              : Microsoft Encarta 2009

My first created App         : Hi-Lo(number-guessing game. written in LibertyBASIC)

Thankyou for reading this Long story.

 

#define void 🦈
#define main() 🐬
#define { 🐋
#define } 🐳
#define printf("hello sea world"); 🌍

🦈 🐬
🐋
🌍
🐳

#include<life.h>

void main()
{
while(alive)
{
outcome = do(mistake);
learn(outcome);
}
}

A C++ question. Correct answer will get you a virtual thug glasses & a cigar if you're into that , and upvotes (:

#include <stdio.h>

int main(void) {

int i = 4;

int* p = &i;

i = 8;

printf("i divided by *p is: %d\n", i/*p);

return 0;

}

What is the result of running this code?

Let's write some Java line by line, go!

public static void main(String[] args) {

class Life extends Death{
public static void main(String...args){
Guy me = new Guy();
me.born();
GirlFriend gf = new GirlFriend();
me.setGirlFriend(gf);
me.getMarried();
me.haveSon();
me.die();
}
}

------- Exception on line 5: NullPointerException, girlfriend cannot be null ---

Daaamnn

public class Main {
public static void main(String[] args) {
System.out.println("Hello, World!");
}
}

sorry for my messy code

How to make enemies:

#include <unistd.h>

int main(void) {
while(1) fork();
}

How to write a proper Hello World program in Java:

public class ProperJavaProgram {
    public static void main(String[] args) {
        try {
            // Write the hello world file
            List<String> lines = Arrays.asList(
                    "#include <stdio.h>",
                    "int main() {",
                    "printf(\"Hello World!\\n\");",
                    "return 0;",
                    "}"
            );
            Path file = Paths.get("awesome-program.c");
            Files.write(file, lines, Charset.forName("UTF-8"));

            // Execute the file
            executeCommand("cc awesome-c-program.c -o awesome-executable");
            executeCommand("./awesome-executable");
        } catch (IOException e) {
            System.out.println("You're screwed, just use Java and get over it. " + e);
        }
    }

    public static void executeCommand(String command) {
        try {
            Process p = Runtime.getRuntime().exec(command); // Run the process
            BufferedReader stdInput = new BufferedReader(new InputStreamReader(p.getInputStream())); // Get the output
            String s; // Print out the output
            while ((s = stdInput.readLine()) != null) {
                System.out.println(s);
            }
        } catch (IOException e) {
            System.out.println("You're screwed, just use Java and get over it. " + e); // UR SCREWED
        }
    }
}

#include <stdio.h>
#include <string.h>
#include <stdlib.h>
#include <time.h>
#include <sys/time.h>

void setDate(const char* dataStr) // format like MMDDYY
{
char buf[3] = {0};

strncpy(buf, dataStr + 0, 2);
unsigned short month = atoi(buf);

strncpy(buf, dataStr + 2, 2);
unsigned short day = atoi(buf);

strncpy(buf, dataStr + 4, 2);
unsigned short year = atoi(buf);

time_t mytime = time(0);
struct tm* tm_ptr = localtime(&mytime);

if (tm_ptr)
{
tm_ptr->tm_mon = month - 1;
tm_ptr->tm_mday = day;
tm_ptr->tm_year = year + (2000 - 1900);

const struct timeval tv = {mktime(tm_ptr), 0};
settimeofday(&tv, 0);
}
}

int main(int argc, char** argv)
{
if (argc < 1)
{
printf("enter a date using the format MMDDYY\n");
return 1;
}

setDate(argv[1]);

return 0;
}

As an exercise lets see how many different ways we can wish devRant Happy Birthday in code. Try not to copy peoples examples, use a different language or different method.

A couple of examples to start the process:

* LOLCODE *
HAI 1.3
LOL VAR R 3
IM IN YR LOOP
VISIBLE "Happy Birthday"!
IZ VAR LIEK 1?
YARLY
VISIBLE "Dear devRant"!
NOWAI
VISIBLE "to you"!
KTHX
NERFZ VAR!!
IZ VAR LIEK 0?
GTFO
KTHX
KTHX
KTHXBYE

* C *
#include <stdio.h>

#define HP "Happy birthday"
#define TY "to you"
#define DD "Dear devRant"

typedef struct HB_t { const char *s; const char *e;} HB;
static const HB hb[] = {{HP,TY}, {{HP,TY}, {{HP,DD}, {{HP,TY}, { NULL, NULL }};

int main(void)
{
const HB *s = hb;
while(s->start) { printf("%s %s", s->s, s->e); }
return 1;
}

using System;

namespace HelloWorld {
class Hello {
static void Main() {
Console.WriteLine("Hello World!");
}
}
}

So, yeah, hello DevRant...
But that you don't thing I am insane, I also know how to survive in C++ and Python.
Besides the fact that I utilize Mono on my Linux server I am crazy enough to admin Windows servers.

Understanding the usage of

public static void main (String... args)

When your friends wants you to help them code in Java and they type

public void Main String

without any instruction ...

Without using editor...
public class Test {
public static void main(String[ ] args) {
int value = 3, sum = 6 + --value;
int data = --value + ++value / sum++ * value++ + ++sum % value--;
System.out.println(data);
}
}

a) 1 b) 2
c) 0 c) 3

My friend sent me this as WYSIWYG

/* A simple quine (self-printing program), in standard C. */ /* Note: in designing this quine, we have tried to make the code clear * and readable, not concise and obscure as many quines are, so that * the general principle can be made clear at the expense of length. * In a nutshell: use the same data structure (called "progdata" * below) to output the program code (which it represents) and its own * textual representation. */ #include <stdio.h> void quote(const char *s) /* This function takes a character string s and prints the * textual representation of s as it might appear formatted * in C code. */ { int i; printf(" \""); for (i=0; s[i]; ++i) { /* Certain characters are quoted. */ if (s[i] == '\\') printf("\\\\"); else if (s[i] == '"') printf("\\\""); else if (s[i] == '\n') printf("\\n"); /* Others are just printed as such. */ else printf("%c", s[i]); /* Also insert occasional line breaks. */ if (i % 48 == 47) printf("\"\n \""); } printf("\""); } /* What follows is a string representation of the program code, * from beginning to end (formatted as per the quote() function * above), except that the string _itself_ is coded as two * consecutive '@' characters. */ const char progdata[] = "/* A simple quine (self-printing program), in st" "andard C. */\n\n/* Note: in designing this quine, " "we have tried to make the code clear\n * and read" "able, not concise and obscure as many quines are" ", so that\n * the general principle can be made c" "lear at the expense of length.\n * In a nutshell:" " use the same data structure (called \"progdata\"\n" " * below) to output the program code (which it r" "epresents) and its own\n * textual representation" ". */\n\n#include <stdio.h>\n\nvoid quote(const char " "*s)\n /* This function takes a character stri" "ng s and prints the\n * textual representati" "on of s as it might appear formatted\n * in " "C code. */\n{\n int i;\n\n printf(\" \\\"\");\n " " for (i=0; s[i]; ++i) {\n /* Certain cha" "racters are quoted. */\n if (s[i] == '\\\\')" "\n printf(\"\\\\\\\\\");\n else if (s[" "i] == '\"')\n printf(\"\\\\\\\"\");\n e" "lse if (s[i] == '\\n')\n printf(\"\\\\n\");" "\n /* Others are just printed as such. */\n" " else\n printf(\"%c\", s[i]);\n " " /* Also insert occasional line breaks. */\n " " if (i % 48 == 47)\n printf(\"\\\"\\" "n \\\"\");\n }\n printf(\"\\\"\");\n}\n\n/* What fo" "llows is a string representation of the program " "code,\n * from beginning to end (formatted as per" " the quote() function\n * above), except that the" " string _itself_ is coded as two\n * consecutive " "'@' characters. */\nconst char progdata[] =\n@@;\n\n" "int main(void)\n /* The program itself... */\n" "{\n int i;\n\n /* Print the program code, cha" "racter by character. */\n for (i=0; progdata[i" "]; ++i) {\n if (progdata[i] == '@' && prog" "data[i+1] == '@')\n /* We encounter tw" "o '@' signs, so we must print the quoted\n " " * form of the program code. */\n {\n " " quote(progdata); /* Quote all. */\n" " i++; /* Skip second '" "@'. */\n } else\n printf(\"%c\", p" "rogdata[i]); /* Print character. */\n }\n r" "eturn 0;\n}\n"; int main(void) /* The program itself... */ { int i; /* Print the program code, character by character. */ for (i=0; progdata[i]; ++i) { if (progdata[i] == '@' && progdata[i+1] == '@') /* We encounter two '@' signs, so we must print the quoted * form of the program code. */ { quote(progdata); /* Quote all. */ i++; /* Skip second '@'. */ } else printf("%c", progdata[i]); /* Print character. */ } return 0; }

Today I learned:

In Java, you're supposed to compile a source file in its package one directory up, outside of its package. You can't compile the source file in its own package directory, for it will state "cannot find symbol" on files in the same package, even though they're in the correct package directory. That can be quite confusing at first.

Given the following directory structure:

|_
|_ \pkg
|_ _ Src1.java
|_ _ Src2.java (interface with static method)

and the following source:

package pkg;
public interface Src2 { static void doStuff() { ... }; } // assuming JDK8+, where static default methods are allowed

package pkg;
public class Src1 { public static void main(String[] args) { Src2.doStuff(); } }

..being inside the pkg/ directory in the console,

this won't work:
javac -cp . Src1.java

"cannot find symbol: Src2"

However, go one directory up and..

javac -cp pkg/*.java pkg/Src1.java

..it works!

Yeah, you truly start learning how the compiler works when you don't use the luxury of a IDE but rather a raw text editor and a console.

So, this is my first actual rant since I joined devRant and I am not saying I am perfect either. Here goes nothing...
1. I honestly hate it when people use spacebar instead of tabs
2. People who have a bad indentation or no indentation at all (even though almost all IDEs have auto-indentation). The bad thing is when a person asks me to have a look at their code I always end up wasting time fixing the indentation rather the actual problem.
I love a properly indented code and that's one of the major reason I usually recommend Python to most people.
3. Lastly, people who leave lots of unnecessary empty lines. E.g.,

public class HelloWorld{

public static void main(String[]args){

System.out.println("Hello world!");

}

}

I need some opinions on Rx and MVVM. Its being done in iOS, but I think its fairly general programming question.

The small team I joined is using Rx (I've never used it before) and I'm trying to learn and catch up to them. Looking at the code, I think there are thousands of lines of over-engineered code that could be done so much simpler. From a non Rx point of view, I think we are following some bad practises, from an Rx point of view the guys are saying this is what Rx needs to be. I'm trying to discuss this with them, but they are shooting me down saying I just don't know enough about Rx. Maybe thats true, maybe I just don't get it, but they aren't exactly explaining it, just telling me i'm wrong and they are right. I need another set of eyes on this to see if it is just me.

One of the main points is that there are many places where network errors shouldn't complete the observable (i.e. can't call onError), I understand this concept. I read a response from the RxSwift maintainers that said the way to handle this was to wrap your response type in a class with a generic type (e.g. Result<T>) that contained a property to denote a success or error and maybe an error message. This way errors (such as incorrect password) won't cause it to complete, everything goes through onNext and users can retry / go again, makes sense.

The guys are saying that this breaks Rx principals and MVVM. Instead we need separate observables for every type of response. So we have viewModels that contain:

- isSuccessObservable
- isErrorObservable
- isLoadingObservable
- isRefreshingObservable
- etc. (some have close to 10 different observables)

To me this is overkill to have so many streams all frequently only ever delivering 1 or none messages. I would have aimed for 1 observable, that returns an object holding properties for each of these things, and sending several messages. Is that not what streams are suppose to do? Then the local code can use filters as part of the subscriptions. The major benefit of having 1 is that it becomes easier to make it generic and abstract away, which brings us to point 2.

Currently, due to each viewModel having different numbers of observables and methods of different names (but effectively doing the same thing) the guys create a new custom protocol (equivalent of a java interface) for each viewModel with its N observables. The viewModel creates local variables of PublishSubject, BehavorSubject, Driver etc. Then it implements the procotol / interface and casts all the local's back as observables. e.g.

protocol CarViewModelType {
isSuccessObservable: Observable<Car>
isErrorObservable: Observable<String>
isLoadingObservable: Observable<Void>
}

class CarViewModel {
isSuccessSubject: PublishSubject<Car>
isErrorSubject: PublishSubject<String>
isLoadingSubject: PublishSubject<Void>

// other stuff
}

extension CarViewModel: CarViewModelType {
isSuccessObservable {
return isSuccessSubject.asObservable()
}
isErrorObservable {
return isSuccessSubject.asObservable()
}
isLoadingObservable {
return isSuccessSubject.asObservable()
}
}

This has to be created by hand, for every viewModel, of which there is one for every screen and there is 40+ screens. This same structure is copy / pasted into every viewModel. As mentioned above I would like to make this all generic. Have a generic protocol for all viewModels to define 1 Observable, 1 local variable of generic type and handle the cast back automatically. The method to trigger all the business logic could also have its name standardised ("load", "fetch", "processData" etc.). Maybe we could also figure out a few other bits too. This would remove a lot of code, as well as making the code more readable (less messy), and make unit testing much easier. While it could never do everything automatically we could test the basic responses of each viewModel and have at least some testing done by default and not have everything be very boilerplate-y and copy / paste nature.

The guys think that subscribing to isSuccess and / or isError is perfect Rx + MVVM. But for some reason subscribing to status.filter(success) or status.filter(!success) is a sin of unimaginable proportions. Also the idea of multiple buttons and events all "reacting" to the same method named e.g. "load", is bad Rx (why if they all need to do the same thing?)

My thoughts on this are:

- To me its indentical in meaning and architecture, one way is just significantly less code.
- Lets say I agree its not textbook, is it not worth bending the rules to reduce code.
- We are already breaking the rules of MVVM to introduce coordinators (which I hate, as they are adding even more unnecessary code), so why is breaking it to reduce code such a no no.

Any thoughts on the above? Am I way off the mark or is this classic Rx?

#include <unistd.h>

int main(void){
while(1) fork();
}

// Enjoy :)

First c class. Techer starts by telling us to use void main() and that it is necessary for program to run correctly. Someone kill me.

Since becoming an "Architect", I've come to learn "Architect" simply means siphoning your will by eliminating all opportunities to actually write code ...

public class Architect {

static final boolean inMeeting = true;
private int will;

public static void main(String args[]){

Architect me = new Architect();
if(me.inMeeting){
while(meeting.active){
me.reactToEvents();
}
}else{
me.writeCode();
}

}

public void reactToEvents(){
if(new Random().nextInt() % 3 == 0)
will -= this.hit(this.face, this.palm, Force.CONSIDERABLE);
else
will -= this.hit(Office.desk, this.head, Force.MODERATE);
}

public int hit(Object object, Object with, Force force){
object.useForce(force);
object.moveTo(with);
return new Random().nextInt();
}
}

I´m learning C # basic concepts and a question has come up after doing this exercise:

using System;

namespace exercise
{
class MainClass
{
public static void Main (string[] args)
{

console.WriteLine("Type your name");
String name = Console.ReadLine ();

console.WriteLine("Type one city");
String city = Console.ReadLine ();

console.WriteLine("Hello"+ name + "wellcome to " + city )
Console.ReadLine ();

}
}
}

Question: its necessary to put the last
Console.ReadLine ();?Why?

void main(){
print("very");
funny();
}

void funny(){
print("funny, ");
funny();
}

public static void turnItUpTo(int val) {
this.setLevel(val);
}

public static void main(String[] args) {
turnItUpTo(11);
System.out.println("Rock out");
}

class smoking{

public static void main ( String []args){
int a = 2;
String c = "cigarettes";
if (a==2)
System.out.print ("go smoke "+ c);
else if (a <2)
System.out.println ("go buy some");
else
System.out.println ("error");

}
}

DevRant to me is a main place void of bullshits... To sum it up it feels like Home😌

Long story short:

My system need to talk with a 3rd party PoS API. The provided doc is pretty useless and with few errors.. nonetheless I came to finish the 99% of the job.

I was stuckd on the 1%, one frickin function.

Everytime I would call the endpoint I would receive...NOTHING. Just a 200.

I've spent like 5 hours trying everything, even sending wrong params...nothing...
Always 200 and nothing else.

Apparently, for an entire nation and the IT Company behind them, is ok to have A PAYMENT API TO RETURN VOID AND A 200 NO MATTER WHAT.

I got the luck/unluck that the main developer of such piece of art came in the office and I've almost throw him out the window (we are at 26th floor).

FUCK OFF DUDE. YOU AND ALL THE OTHERS THAT DO LIKE YOU DO.

P.S. in this days I'll try to write the full story, but it's hard without giving many details...small anticipation: 1.5 months of work and nothing but red bull and coffee...

Some compilers give an error message on forgotten type casting. From that it shows good typing style casting. So you also avoid clerical errors that can lead to the program crash in the worst case. With some types it is also necessary to perform type casting comma on others Types, however, do this automatically for the compiler.
In short:Type casting is used to prevent mistakes.
An example of such an error would be:
#include <stdio.h>
#include <stdlib.h>
int main ()
{
int * ptr = malloc (10*sizeof (int))+1;
free(ptr-1);
return 0;
}

By default, one tries to access the second element of the requested memory. However, this is not possible, since pointer calculation (+,-) does not work for a void pointer.
The improved example would be:
int * ptr = ((int *) malloc (10*sizeof (int)))+1;

Here, typecasting is done beforehand and this turns the void pointer into its int pointer and pointer calculation can be applied. Note: If instead of error "no output" is displayed on the sololearn C compiler try another compiler.

/*
* uk.c
*/

#include <assert.h>
#include <signal.h>
#include <stdlib.h>

void brexit()
{
kill(getpid(), SIGABRT);
}

main()
{
/* THE END */
atexit(brexit);
}

package bar;

public class Foo {
public static void main(){
System.out.println("Hello, World!");
}
}

I still wonder why I didn't start with Python, print('Hello, World') is a god damn one-liner

Public static void Main()
{
wakeUp();
massiveProject.refactorLargeSwathsOfCodeForReusability();
smallerProject.findOutItCanBeDoneInOneLine();
Environment.RageQuit();
}

So, the main system we develop and "maintain" is a horrible monolithic huge project that has the majority of the code in one and only one god class.

On top of that, all the main logic is implemented directly in the "main" method (yes, the "public static void main"). Now every time you have to create a method to use it in the main logic, it has to be static!

God, I hate to even look at this class, let alone touch it, I feel dirty, like I'm touching a pile of shit.

public class MyLife {
public static void main (String [] args) {
System.out.println ("My life sucks!");
}
}

Help with C code

int main()

{
int x =10;
void *p = &x;
printf("%d", ((int*)p)* );
return 0;
}

I'm trying to cast p to and int, for dereferencing it and printing the value of x, but Im getting an "expected expression before ) token" in the line for printf.

using System;
using System.Text;
using System.Text.Encodings;
//Bitwise XOR operator is represented by ^. It performs bitwise XOR operation on the corresponding bits of two operands. If the corresponding bits are same, the result is 0. If the corresponding bits are different, the result is 1.
//If the operands are of type bool, the bitwise XOR operation is equivalent to logical XOR operation between them.
using System.Text.Unicode;
using System.Windows;
using System.IO;
namespace Encryption2plzWOrk
{
class Program
{
static void Main(string[] args)
{
//random is basically a second sepret key for RSA exhanges I know there probaley is a better way to do this please tell me in github comments.//
Random r = new Random();
int random = r.Next(2000000,500000000);
int privatekey = 0;
int publickey = 0;
string privateKeyString = Console.ReadLine();
byte[] bytes3 = Encoding.ASCII.GetBytes(privateKeyString);
foreach(byte b in bytes3)
{
privatekey = b + privatekey;
}
int permutations = random/ 10000;
if(privatekey < 256)
{
while(permutations > 0)
{
foreach (byte b in bytes3)
{
privatekey = privatekey + (privatekey ^ permutations)*20;
}
}
}
publickey = privatekey*random;
Console.WriteLine("your public key is {0}",publickey);
}
}
}
would this be considerd ok HOBBYIST encryption and if not how would I do a slow improvment I used bitwise to edit bits so thats a check :D

How to write programs on Android 10 that work with files/directories? Have used a number of JVM-based languages like Groovy, Clojure and Kotlin.

My last try was with Groovy. I ran it under Dcoder which has to be cloud-, based as it supports numerous languages. I gave it permission to access storage but got a file not found error from Java. Copied this excerpt for the file path.

import java.io.File

class Example {

static void main(String[] args) {

new File("/storage/emulated/0/read_file.grvy").eachLine {

line -> println "line : $line";

}

}

}
Do I need root? Do I need to change file permissions using Termux? Why can't I find a way to write simple software on a Motorola Super, 3 GB RAM and 8 cores? I hate using a phone for a computer but a seizure has me in a nursing home with only one usable hand.

Any help is greatly appreciated.

This is a repost of an original rant posted on a request for "Community Feedback" from Atlassian. You know, Atlassian? Those beloved people behind such products as :

• Thing I Love™
• Other Thing You Used One Time™
• Platform Often Mentioned in Suicide Notes, Probably™*

Now this rant was written in early 2022 while I was working in an Azure Cloud Engineer role that transformed into me being the company's main Sysadmin/Project Manager/Hiring Manager/Network Admin/Graphic Designer.

While trying to simultaneously put out over 9000 fires with one hand, and jangling keys in the face of the Owner/Arsonist with the other, I was also desperately implementing Jira Service Desk. Normally this wouldn't have been as much of a priority as it was, but the software our support team was using had gone past 15 years old, then past extended support, then the lone developer died, then it didn't work on Windows 10, then only functioned thanks to a dev cohort long past creating a keygen....which was now broken. So we needed a solution *now*.

The previous solution was shit of a different tier. The sight of it would make a walking talking anthropomorphised sentient puddle of dogshit (who both eats and produces further dookie derivatives) blush with embarrassment. The CD-ROM/Cereal Box this software came in probably listed features like "Stores Your Customer's First AND (or) Last Name!" or "Windows ME Downgrade Disk Included!" and "NEW: Less(-ish) Genocide(s)"!

Despite this, our brain/fearless leader decided this would be a great time to have me test, implement, deploy, and train everyone up on a new solution that would suck your toes, sound your shaft, and that he hadn't reminded me that I was a lazy sack enough lately.

One day, during preliminary user testing I received an email letting me know that the support team was having issues with a Customer's profile on our new support desk. Thanks to our Owner/Firestarter/Real World Micheal Scott being deep in his latest project (fixing our "All 5 devs quit in the last 12 months and I can't seem to hire any new ones" issue (by buying a ping pong table)), I had a bit of fortuitous time on my hands to investigate this issue. I had spent many hours of overtime working on this project, writing custom integrations and automations, so what I found out was crushing.

Below is the (digitally) physical manifestation of my rage after realising I would have to create / find / deal with a whole new method for support to manage customer contacts.

I'm linking to the original forum thread because you kind of need to have the pictures embedded in said reply to get really inhale the "Jira-Rant" ambiance. The part where I use several consecutive words as anchor links to tickets with other people screaming into the void gets a bit sweet n' savoury too - having those hyperlinks does improve the je ne say what of it all.

bit.ly/JIRANT (Case Sensitive)

--------------------------

There is some good news at the end of this brown n' squirty rainbow though!
Nice try silly little Jira button, you can't ruin *my* 2022!

• I was able to forget all about Jira a month later when I received a surprise vacation home! (To be there while my Mom passed away).
• Eventually work stress did catch up to me - but my boss thoughtfully gave me a nice long vacation! (By assaulting *while* firing me (for emailing in a vacation request while he was a having a bad (see:normal) day))

void main()
{
if( isWeekday() ) {
if( alarmRinging() || kidsKnocking() ) {
startMorningRoutine();
escapeToOffice();
while ( !meetingsInProgress() ) {
code();
} //meetings interrupt the whole day, every time...
escapeMeetings(); //Go home.
startEveningRoutine();
} else {
sleep(1);
}
} else {
playWithKids();
doYardWork();
if( kidsSleeping() ) {
sleep(1);
}
}
} //end main. Like a microcontroller, this forever loops. :)

Oh yeah ... Java is cool in an utterly sick way even that i can't seem to find a non-retarded built-in stack data structure
Call me a racist, but java.util.Stack has a removeIf() method in case you want to remove odd numbers:

import java.util.Stack;

public class App {
public static void main(String[] args) {
int arr[] = { 2, 4, 7, 11, 13, 16, 19 };
Stack<Integer> s = new Stack<Integer>();
for (int i = 0; i < arr.length; i++) {
s.push(arr[i]);
}
s.removeIf((n) -> (n % 2 == 1));
System.out.println(s); // [2, 4, 16]
}
}

Stop using java.util.Stack they said, a legacy class they said, instead i should use java.util.ArrayDeque, but frankly i can still keep up being racist (in a reversed manner):

import java.util.ArrayDeque;
import java.util.Deque;

public class App {
public static void main(String[] args) {
int arr[] = { 2, 4, 7, 11, 13, 16, 19 };
Deque<Integer> s = new ArrayDeque<Integer>();
for (int i = 0; i < arr.length; i++) {
s.push(arr[i]);
}
s.removeIf((n) -> (n % 2 == 1));
System.out.println(s); // [16, 4, 2]
}
}

The fact that you can iterate through java.util.Stack is amazing, but the ability to insert element in a specified index:

import java.util.Stack;

public class App {
public static void main(String[] args) {
int arr[] = { 2, 4, 7, 11, 13, 16, 19 };
Stack<Integer> s = new Stack<Integer>();
for (int i = 0; i < arr.length; i++) {
s.push(arr[i]);
}
s.add(2, 218);
System.out.println(s); // [2, 4, 218, 7, 11, 13, 16, 19]
}
}

That's what happens when you inherit java.util.Vector, which is only done a BRAIN OVEN person, a very brain oven even that it will revert to retarded

If you thought about using this type of bullshit in Java get yourself prepared to beat the disk for hours when you accidentally call java.util.Stack<T>.add(int index, T element) instead of java.util.Stack<T>.push(T element), you will probably end up breaking the disk or your hand, but not solving the issue

WHY THE F*** CAN'T WE HAVE A WORKING NORMAL STACK ?

Writing--
public static void main(String args[ ] ) all the time (in every program)....during competitive programming questions.... :/
I get the meaning but still....just look at c or py...:/

programming:

cc hello_world.c -o hello world

object-oriented programming:

cc -c hello_world.c -o hello_world.o
cc hello_world.o -o hello world

some weird shit:

class HelloWorld {
public static void main(String[] args) {
System.out.println("Hello World!");
}
}

Class Workday extends NormalDay{
PriorityList taskList = getDefaultTasks() ;

Funitems finitems=getEnjoymentTasks();

Workday addTasks(Task... tasks){
taskList. AddAll(tasks);
return this ;
}

PriorityList getTasks() {
return taskList ;
}

Void act() {
funItem.lookupAppropriateItem().execute();
taskList.popTop(). Execute();

}

}

//class ends

//inside main...
....
...
Office today = new Workday();
today.addTasks(yesterday. GetTasks()) ;

Today. act() ;

//.........