Companies new policy.

Deadline is looming, we need to work super hard and be super productive so we will set 3 meeting each day to check on how productive you have been in the last 2 hours...

First thing is quite simply no overtime, I never EVER work overtime, you get my 8/9 hours a day, where I do work and that is it.

However, as dev's our minds never really shut off from 'coding' so if there are any bugs or complex issues, those most often get resolved when I am out for my run or cycle.

I cannot spell for shit, so my coworker keeps commenting on my pull requests with spelling fixes...

Decided to buy this for him today...

My new favourite quote...

"I can't be the only one worried about the deadline"

By boss speakign ot my team who is expected to deliver 6-8 months worth of work in 5 weeks time...

Too bad he does not know he IS the only one worried, when you going to miss a deadline by that much when you never agreed to it in the first place, have not seen a single API and the scope is still actively changing and lets not forget we have no DevOps yet...
why the fuck would you worry...

So guys, for those of you that know what a burn down chart is, this is my teams, aka Front-end ONLY for end of March.

So this bloody hilarious, I submit my PWA to windows store, mainly for shits and giggles, see how the whole thing works and all that.

App gets approved, I go in and run another submission to upload a few extra screenshots, at this point they block it as I do not have a privacy policy, but accept user authentication, which is not the case, so after a few days of back and forth I ask them to attach a screenshot, so turns out I need a privacy policy as when the users click on the map link which opens Google Maps in a NEW window, has a sing in button.

According to them, this is 'Opening within my application" and I am apparently able to access user details via google own sign in link, not SSO.

So as a joke, after some frustration I wrote up a privacy policy, what is an even bigger joke is that they accepted it…

This exists solely for the benefit of Microsoft who are having trouble comprehending the fact that RTMS Events does NOT have Authentication.

Microsoft believes that as the application uses Google Maps, and when Google Maps opens a “Sign In” button appears, that I am able to access your personal information.

As any reasonable person will understand, that is not the case, logging into Google Maps/Google for the benefit of using Google Maps in NO WAY gives anyone else access to your personal information.

So to be clear, I do not have any interest or access of any kind to your personal information, should you have any concerns about your privacy, remember, that the “Sign In” button is for Google, not RTMS, take up any issues with them, I am pretty sure they have a REAL and actually NECESSARY privacy policy.

http://rtms.events/privacy.html

Best conversation I ever had with a manager.

Pulls me off into a meeting and in the same breath tells me he values my opinion, must not argue with him and he does not want "yes" men. Lol

Bad devops...

never before have I been happy to be asked to work overtime, but for once, fuck yeah...

Bit of back story, I am tech lead on a massive project that has been run like a complete shit show, the PM who also happens to be the brains behind the project seems to think we are miracle workers and for the first 9/10 months of the project would make significant, like delete a weeks worth of code and start over changes, 3-5 times per week. There are features for the v1 release that have been built in excess of 5 times. I have been saying since October that even without all his constant changes, we will NOT make the deadline, and naturally as is part of my job I argued against every unnecessary feature he tried to implement, eventually he pulled me into a meeting to tell me how much he values my opinion, I need to stop arguing with him and he does not want to work with yes men (I have a rant about that convo already).

I believe our CEO finally started smelling a rat as he insisted on joining our daily stand-ups, during which said PM scripted some lovely stories to disguise the fuckup we are in, and since has assigned another PM to take over and do proper project management and risk analysis.

That is where the email comes in, a lot of the work assigned to me will miss the deadline by a month, honestly I am impressed that it is by so little and so few people will not be missing it, but anyway, he probably spun a few stories there too.

So I spent part of the work compiling the most perfect surgical response as not not actively throw him under the bu, but create a quite a few questions that they hopefully as, as himself and the CEO where cc'd into the mail.

And the jist is, the deadline itself was still impossible and 8 of the 10 tasks assigned to be have ZERO back-end whatsoever, and those tasks are about 80/90% integration to said non-existent back-end, some of those services and data structures have not even been planned yet and we are a week past the deadline and 3 weeks from the just as useless extension.

Its funny cuz its true.

Original deadline 2 weeks ago
New Deadline 2 weeks form now
API been down for 2 days and counting

~3 months worth of work left to do, if we lucky, to meet requirements for deadline…

"Don't worry about pagination, we can just send the whole database to the front-end" ~ My Boss, being serious AF.

Worst of all, he has worked in system development for 20 years, he is not meant to be this stupid.

The level of desire to give my boss a positive klap right now is too damned high.

Cunt flies us across the country to work 4-5 hours of unpaid overtime every day for a week to fix his Royal fuck up, some of my guys decide they gonna take the later uber into work cuz we gonna grab a run or an extra hours sleep cuz we fucking tired after a 13 hour day and this is the shit we get:

No wonder they call it Slaapstad 😜 - guys, no later than 8am at the office please so we can make a collective start.

It's official, I am quitting...

Boss walks in today while we busy discussing how to write up the new endpoint we need from the api and tells us there is too much discussion and as only woman can multitask, Dumi is the only person that can be productive...

YES!! 3 days till deadline and I am in a meeting discussing core descisions that have not been made yt...

So this just happened... This is a PR I just got, fucking lazy developers...

Hell yay

When you finally get the courage to write your first question on Stack overflow and you totally try to work it out well for 30 minutes and it gets a down vote within 5 minutes.

Stop using progress bars on your résumé/CV!

Back when we were looking for people to join us, we got hundreds of résumés in the mail and online, and I saw so many of them using these progress bars to indicate competency in a particular skill or programming language.

Yknow what that says to me, and to my colleagues?

"Yeah, I'm ok at this, but I'm even worse at THIS"

Your résumé is about selling yourself!
We don't want someone who's '68%' in Photoshop or '82%' in JavaScript. We want someone who knows they're good at what they do and knows they can learn if they need to.

You might feel like you're being 'big headed', but that's what a good resume SHOULD be! Sell yourself to be as if you're the solution to all of my problems and you might just get a job!

Rant over.

When you keep getting +1s on a rant you posted a month ago.

A ten minute task can be finished in a minute when you think in the toilet.

Proven by experience

I made a web app where I can build any kind of form, with sections, validations, multiple type of inputs (even coordinates or polygons, photos, etc.) while allowing to see a preview of how that would look in a mobile app. That preview is because when you're done building the form and saved it to the DB, then in a mobile app (which I made as well) you can choose that form and use it.

Everything is beautiful, but after 3 sections with 25 questions each, everything becomes really slow because of the insane amount of actions that redux-form fires on every character type 😢

Today I made a public demonstration, and despite my code is very clean and well made, I think, that slowness made me look like a shitty developer, even thought I know what I made is like a 1000 times better than what I was asked to develop.

Moved from github to gitlab.
Felt good.

The more you design the less you code.

Google assistant just destroyed Siri.

In case of fire...

Found this on fb.

ANDDDDDD the award for most useful graph goes TO…

No kink shaming

If Gordon Ramsay made code reviews, I would watch that show. Especially the insults he would use for handling clients.

"This code has so much spaghetti, it decided to open it's own restaurant"