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Today we interviewed a _very_ good Angular1 Dev, by chance we showed him the forked ngRouter module we use, after some debate he explained that we were using it incorrectly.. I asked if he'd used it before to which he responded:
"Yeah, I'm the guy who built it"
😅27 -
Me: I need a Windows PC to test my code on.
Server dude: We don't have any free, but I can setup an old server for you.
Me: 🤔 .. I'll take it!
18 -
We will no longer be accepting contracts which have an internet explorer or edge support requirement.
All of the front end devs are going hysterical and celebrating 😂 🎉🎉17 -
Got a couple laughs at an interview for the software listed in my resume:
"Sublime Text 3 (unregistered)"
😉20 -
A client who I freelance for just asked if they could invest in one of my side projects.
This is the best day of my programming career 😊9 -
I think I just broke the (only) USB C port on my MacBook so I’m racing to push about 30 git repos before the battery dies forever
21 -
Put headphones on when I got to work at 7:30am.. it's 3:10pm and I just realised I never started playing music 😑8
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Just saw an ad:
"I learned to code in 2 months thanks to X School and now I'm working at Google!"
Seems like now is the right time to dump your Google stocks.2 -
Holy crap, just consulted with a company who wanted to fire the entire 6 person backend team because:
"They don't produce any tangible work or add value to the company."
Initially I didn't catch on, went to chat with the devs and realised the dilemma. Took 3 hours of (almost heated) debate before the higher ups understood the the value and purpose of backend devs.
This is a kitchen appliance company who recently moved into IoT 🙃12 -
Me: **posts 🔥rant**
Me: **gets flood of devRant notifs**
Coworker: "What push API are you testing?"
😉1 -
Expectation: arrive at work, everyone in awe of devrant swag, social status++
Reality: arrive at work, prod failing, get blamed, employment status--
7 -
Found a pretty cool company asking for job applications via POST request 😎
..almost incorrectly formatted my JSON 😅10 -
Do any of you guys or gals sit outside and code?
Since 2009 this has been my primary work place (even in the cold and rain), I go to the office for mostly non-coding work and have a pc inside for serious sessions but I'd say 80% of my heads down dev time is spent sitting here. A little quirk is when people call or Skype me they'll immediately say "I can hear birds in the background, where are you??".
Anyway, I'm moving soon and thought I should share while I still can ☺️
21 -
Just had a JS guy try some Visual Basic, learning about types.. finally he got the error:
Stackoverflow: (...)
His response:
"Oh! Like the website! That's so cool! Hey Brod, look what I did! 😀"
It was the cutest reaction I've ever seen to a error.2 -
At the Apple Store in my devRant hoodie and got noticed by an employee..
Her: what's your username?
Me: brod 😬, what's yours?
Her: julia! Have you seen the new MacBook Pro?
...
Turns out, there's no @julia, now I have a $2,800 MacBook that I didn't need (nope, not the pro, just the shit one).53 -
Friend: pls come out on my yacht, you can work from there..
Me: what about power and wifi?
Friend: it has 240v and 4G
Me: 😦😁
7 -
Just got asked "How much experience do you have with the current JavaScript standards? I'm talking ES6 and ES7" in an interview with what I assumed were technical people.
I chuckled and said "I'm comfortable with ES8" as a joke but everyone just nodded and moved on..7 -
Co Worker: "Your computer is missing a mouse!"
Me: "I require less dependencies to use a computer"
BBUUUURRRRNN10 -
Fucking useless languages that compile into other languages but provide no real benefit other than some trendy syntax crap.14
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Got some good news today, Australia's PM (Malcolm Turnbull) doesn't want a backdoor in encryption! All he just wants is "support" from companies to "access" their users encrypted data.
See the difference?
I don't 😒14 -
Just reduced 900 lines of horrible code into 106 lines of less horrible code..
QA: do those 106loc really do what the 900loc did ?
Me: yes
QA: really?
Me: yes
QA: are you sure?
Me: NO. I was lying. Maybe it does. Maybe it doesn't. Maybe you should run it and find out.
QA: *immediately releases for prod*3 -
- Wife logs onto uni website Saturday at 11pm to drop an elective, drop deadline is Monday
- Goes to course list and chooses course to drop
- "Course modification is available Monday-Saturday from 6am to 10pm"
😑 are you kidding me..
Like 😡😠 websites don't have business hours! Servers don't need nights or weekends off!! It's ridiculous to think that someone had to code this block for these hours, more effort than just leaving it always available.6 -
PM: Hey Brod, I know your really busy refactoring to ES6 but I think our Ruby app broke, could you fix it?..
Me: Ask Tom, he's the only one here who knows ruby he wrote the app..
PM: I didn't want to interrupt his Skype call.
Me: he's not on Skype, that's his face, he's taking snapchats.
PM: oh, well I don't want to really interrupt that either.
SAY YOU HATE ME. JUST SAY IT.8 -
> gets rejected from upwork
> builds alternative to upwork
> gets funded by old client who uses upwork
> origin story complete
17 -
I’m hopelessly brand loyal at times but after a day with Vim I’ve decided to jump ship. Ciao sublime ✌️
27 -
PM: I spoke with x client, they really like x feature and want to continue.
Me: great, I'll let the team know.
PM: Yeah, I told your team already.
Me: Oh. What did they say?
PM: They all told me to tell you first, so you can tell them.
Me: 😏
2 -
Just got a brand new car coming from a 1999 Honda CRV and holy shit the tech in these things is insane.. basically drives itself on HWY's, can start it from an app, does all sorts of weird stuff.. obviously it comes with risks of being hacked and all that but damn new cars are wicked these days.
7 -
Lead Dev: Just use jQuery, it'll save us from adding a whole new directive in Angular.
Me: 🤦♂️
Coworker: 🤦♀️10 -
Sent HTML to google translate server side to support multiple languages.. actually worked pretty well but it made me feel dirty for weeks.1
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Our PM found a contractor, results as expected..
Contractor: "The file you supplied is corrupt, some areas are greyed out and damaged"
Me: "😐, do you mean the comments?"
Contractor: "I'm not sure what you mean 'the comments'"
Me: "Does the file work as expected?"
Contractor: "Yes"
Me: "Strange! I'll have a chat with our PM and get this issue resolved right away 😉"
...
if(!contractor) {
return Promise.resolve()
}1 -
"Start at 4am" .. they said
"Nothing will go wrong" .. they said
WELL YOUR COFFEE MACHINE IS BROKEN AND THE MAINTENANCE GUYS GET HERE AT 7 😡3 -
Client wanted to add "password usability" features such as:
Password1 === pASSWORD1
Him: Facebook and Google do it
Me: You're not Facebook or Google
Him: Well sure, not without this feature
Me: 🤔11 -
Was in a meeting today with a team I just joined, I asked what they used to write tests.. they said they don't write tests because no one would see them..
This is crazy right?9 -
I'm a web application developer and work for an abattoir.
On slow days I sometimes I go out and pick a cow, give it name, scan its ear/rfid tag, lookup what farm it came from and how much it cost, then monitor it passing through the various production lines.
Yup.4 -
Any commbank developers in here wanna fix your stupid car loan application process where I need to know the VIN number of a car that isn't even built yet?
6 -
I got in an argument with a co worker, she says that mass surveillance programs are "none of my business" and I shouldn't care how they operate.
ACTUALLY, ACCORDING TO GOOGLE IT IS MY BUSINESS.
2 -
Just got made redundant 😒
Anyone need a web dev in Melbourne?
I have desirable skills such as working myself out of a job..9 -
Saw this on Facebook and couldn't help but share here! 😂
A young woman submitted the tech support message below (about her relationship to her husband) presumably did it as a joke…
The query:
Dear Tech Support,
’Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slowdown in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.
In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as: Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as: NBA 5.0, NFL 3.0 and Golf Clubs 4.1.
Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and House cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.
What can I do?
Signed,
Desperate
The response (that came weeks later out of the blue):
Dear Desperate,
“First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Please enter command: I thought you loved me.html and try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.
However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta.
Whatever you do, DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)
In addition, please, do not attempt to re-install the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.
In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend: Cooking 3.0.Good Luck!’
Good Luck!3 -
PayPal.
Found a nice method that does what you want? DEPRECATED.
Finally got that adaptive payment workflow all figured out? BREAKING CHANGES.
Want to use that new feature with your langs library? UNSUPPORTED.
Braintree isn't much better.7 -
I just got asked to print out last weeks production data in the "pristine squiggly brackets format".
😐
WHAT DO YOU MEEEEAAAANNN!4 -
@dfox @trogus Was there any discussion about not displaying usernames within the feed? (eg, "posted by brod")
I reckon it's one of the best _features_ devRant has.7 -
Me: "I try to keep it under 400 watchers unless there's a really good reason"
Them: "Oh yeah, cool. So what's a watcher?"
Me: 😦
3 -
Apple has the best UX:
"Type your password followed by the verification code shown on your other devices"
4 -
Did a code test at an interview, had to aggregate data from a db. They stored cities with population count and users referenced cities.. 6 cities had a higher user count than population 🤔
They were a little taken back and suggested the population data must be outdated 😉.. it got a bit awkward1 -
This whole week I’ve been writing Java (for the first time) and I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s a horrible language, written by horrible people, for the purpose of making other people’s lives horrible.
Fuck Java 🙂8 -
When the company spamming is also the service provider but fails to gracefully handle requests on their service 😒
6 -
Never used Gradle before but first impression is it's absolutely trash.
What used to take a couple dozen milliseconds now takes hundreds of THOUSANDS of milliseconds..
11 -
@dfox & @trogus
Any thoughts on allowing people to buy their avatars (and others) as stickers? I understand I can just download the pic and get my own made but a built in feature would be cool - it'd be a nice way to say "hey! I really like your rants!"
Just throwing it out there 🙂4 -
Tech Dept set all company phones to the same iCloud account and didn't turn off iMessage..
Boss + HR + random works all just realised they'd been sharing messages.
🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉4 -
God Apple, why tf does the Fill Screen / Fit Screen button only turn bright / change glyph sometimes ☹️
3 -
How bout instead of "Disrupting space-time continuum" or "Moving satellites into position" .. you just launch your crappy app.
15 -
Anyone else been lightly formatting rants and comments with **markdown** hoping for it to be implemented?
_I know I have_1 -
A primary investor in the company I work for drops by every few days and always smokes cigars in the coffee room and shuts the door..
My coffee and his cigar routines have never collided before today, I'm now trying to figure out the lowest impact server or utility I can shutdown that will cause enough panic to get him out.2 -
Can someone explain what's so wrong with CSS?
My only issue is you can't set media query variables - which is totally not an issue with cssnext or similar..3 -
My iPhone has two pages for apps, the main page and not the main page - none start on the main page and few ever make it. DevRant has made it to the main page 😊
8 -
Had to demo i18n working to client with 45m notice..
Google translate the whole page server side and pray CSS behaves. -
"artificial intelligence !== conscious intelligence"
If the brain is just a biological computer that statement is incorrect right? 😟
Are _we_ the robots?4 -
Shoutout to any CommBank developers, I've been dreading going in to a branch to open an account - turns out it's only a 3 minute exercise using the website 😌👏 👏1
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I haven't seen Gary Bernhardt's presentations linked in here yet, hopefully thats because everyones already seen them - but if you haven't, prepare yourself:
https://destroyallsoftware.com/talk...1 -
Name a more 2018/2019 New Year’s Eve.. We used a new emoji in a commit message and it borked the CI pipeline.
3 -
Question: can I describe OOP as "not in a loop, doesn't use interrupts" ?
I don't know much outside of OOP so describing it is like describing life, hard.9 -
Does anyone work on a bunch of local NPM modules wanna describe their workflow for local dev vs deploy?
I’ve got mine but it feels a little trashy. It’s basically one npm script to link all the local modules for dev and another which will npm install them in prod - is there a better way without adding more build tools?1
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