Hey guys don't you know where all the 7 segment displays wen...

when i worked in IT, some coworkers told me to install some stuff in the "happy" and delete some files from the "surprised". I spend several days confused, until they explained me... Idk if they are idiots or geniuses.

happy disk (C:)
surprised disk (D:)

maybe they were both.

I'm convinced code addiction is a real problem and can lead to mental illness.

Dev: "Thanks for helping me with the splunk API. Already spent two weeks and was spinning my wheels."
Me: "I sent you the example over a month ago, I guess you could have used it to save time."
Dev: "I didn't understand it. I tried getting help from NetworkAdmin-Dan, SystemAdmin-Jake, they didn't understand what you sent me either."
Me: "I thought it was pretty simple. Pass it a query, get results back. That's it"
Dev: "The results were not in a standard JSON format. I was so confused."
Me: "Yea, it's sort-of JSON. Splunk streams the result as individual JSON records. You only have to deserialize each record into your object. I sent you the code sample."
Dev: "Your code didn't work. Dan and Jake were confused too. The data I have to process uses a very different result set. I guess I could have used it if you wrote the class more generically and had unit tests."
<oh frack...he's been going behind my back and telling people smack about my code again>
Me: "My code wouldn't have worked for you, because I'm serializing the objects I need and I do have unit tests, but they are only for the internal logic."
Dev:"I don't know, it confused me. Once I figured out the JSON problem and wrote unit tests, I really started to make progress. I used a tuple for this ... functional parameters for that...added a custom event for ... Took me a few weeks, but it's all covered by unit tests."
Me: "Wow. The way you explained the project was; get data from splunk and populate data in SQLServer. With the code I sent you, sounded like a 15 minute project."
Dev: "Oooh nooo...its waaay more complicated than that. I have this very complex splunk query, which I don't understand, and then I have to perform all this parsing, update a database...which I have no idea how it works. Its really...really complicated."
Me: "The splunk query returns what..4 fields...and DBA-Joe provided the upsert stored procedure..sounds like a 15 minute project."
Dev: "Maybe for you...we're all not super geniuses that crank out code. I hope to be at your level some day."
<frack you ... condescending a-hole ...you've got the same seniority here as I do>
Me: "No seriously, the code I sent would have got you 90% done. Write your deserializer for those 4 fields, execute the stored procedure, and call it a day. I don't think the effort justifies the outcome. Isn't the data for a report they'll only run every few months?"
Dev: "Yea, but Mgr-Nick wanted unit tests and I have to follow orders. I tried to explain the situation, but you know how he is."
<fracking liar..Nick doesn't know the difference between a unit test and breathalyzer test. I know exactly what you told Nick>
Dev: "Thanks again for your help. Gotta get back to it. I put a due date of April for this project and time's running out."

APRIL?!! Good Lord he's going to drag this intern-level project for another month!

After he left, I dug around and found the splunk query, the upsert stored proc, and yep, in about 15 minutes I was done.

You know side projects? Well I took on one. An old customer asked to come and take over his latest startups companys tech. Why not, I tought. Idea is sound. Customer base is ripe and ready to pay.

I start digging and the Hardware part is awesome. The guys doing the soldering and imbedded are geniuses. I was impressed AF.

I commit and meet up with CEO. A guy with a vision and sales orientation/contacts. Nice! This shit is gonna sell. Production lines are also set.

Website? WTF is this shit. Owner made it. Gotta give him the credit. Dude doesn't do computers and still managed to online something. He is still better at sales so we agree that he's gonna stick with those and I'll handle the tech.

I bootstrap a new one in my own simplistic style and online it. I like it. The owner likes it. He made me to stick to a tacky logo. I love CSS and bootstrap. You can make shit look good quick.

But I still don't have access to the soul of the product. DBs millions rows of data and source for the app I still behind the guy that has been doing this for over a year.

He has been working on a new version for quite some time. He granted access to the new versions source, but back end and DB is still out of reach. Now for over month has passed and it's still no new version or access to data.

Source has no documentation and made in a flavor of JS frame I'm not familiar with. Weekend later of crazy cramming I get up to speed and it's clear I can't get further without the friggin data.

The V2 is a scramble of bleeding edge of Alpha tech that isn't ready for production and is clearly just a paid training period for the dev. And clearly it isn't going so well because release is a month late. I try to contact, but no reaction. The owner is clueless.

Disheartening. A good idea is going to waste because of some "dev" dropping a ball and stonewalling the backup.

I fucking give him till the end of the next week until I make the hardware team a new api to push the data and refactor the whole thing in proper technologies and cut him off.

Please. If you are a dev and don't have the time to concentrate on the solution don't take it on and kill off the idea. You guys are the key to making things happening and working. Demand your cut but also deserve it by delivering or at least have the balls to tell you are not up for it.

Coding has caused a paradigm shift in the way I look at the world. Previously I would look at something and be amazed as to how it happened or was made and then depressed because I would think such things could only be done by geniuses and not by me. Now, I know that complex things are made up of many simple things and anything complex can be kind of deconstructed with enough understanding. Its an empowering feeling knowing that I can create something amaizng.

Everyone in my company prefers solving git issues rather than `rm -rf` & `git clone`

Feels like I'm working with a team of geniuses. 😂

The Absolutely True Story of a Real Programmer Who Never Learned C.

I have a young friend named Sam who is quite a programming prodigy. Sam does know C! I need to make this clear: he’s not the titular programmer.
But a couple years ago Sam told me a story about a different programmer who never learned C, and I liked it so much that right on the spot I asked his permission to repeat it. (I could never just steal such a tale.)
Sam wasn’t always a programmer—actually he started in his later teens, in part because he was more of a jock, and in part because he was related to programmers and wanted to do his own thing. But, like all great programmers, once he was bitten by the bug he immersed himself completely in it.
One day Sam happened to be talking programming with his uncle, who was also a programmer but from way, way back.
“Hey,” said Sam, “I’m learning this language called C. You must know a lot of languages, did you ever study C?”
“No,” said the uncle, to Sam’s surprise. “I am one of the very few programmers who never had to learn C.”
“Because I wrote it.”
Oh, Sam’s last name is Ritchie.
What I love about this story is the idea of Dennis waiting Sam’s entire life to deliver this zinger. Just imagine sitting on a line that good, watching your nephew grow up and waiting, waiting until the one day he finally starts learning to code. Did he work on the line in his head at night? Like, “Hmm, how should I word it so I can deliver the punch line perfectly? Should I say ‘I never took a class on C?’ Nah, too awkward…”
The great thing about geniuses is how much effort they put into everything.

Courtesy : Wil Shiply.

Who else does this?😂

Most satisfying bug I've fixed?

Fixed a n+1 issue with a web service retrieving price information. I initially wrote the service, but it was taken over by a couple of 'world class' monday-morning-quarterbacks.
The "Worst code I've ever seen" ... "I can't believe this crap compiles" types that never met anyone else's code that was any good.

After a few months (yes months) and heavy refactoring, the service still returned price information for a product. Pass the service a list of product numbers, service returns the price, availability, etc, that was it.

After a very proud and boisterous deployment, over the next couple of days the service seemed to get slower and slower. DBAs started to complain that the service was causing unusually high wait times, locks, and CPU spikes causing problems for other applications. The usual finger pointing began which ended up with "If PaperTrail had written the service 'correctly' the first time, we wouldn't be in this mess."

Only mattered that I initially wrote the service and no one seemed to care about the two geniuses that took months changing the code.

The dev manager was able to justify a complete re-write of the service using 'proper development methodologies' including budgeting devs, DBAs, server resources, etc..etc. with a projected year+ completion date.

My 'BS Meter' goes off, so I open up the code, maybe 5 minutes...tada...found it. The corresponding stored procedure accepts a list of product numbers and a price type (1=Retail, 2=Dealer, and so on). If you pass 0, the stored procedure returns all the prices.
Code basically looked like this..

public List<Prices> GetPrices(List<Product> products, int priceTypeId)
{
foreach (var item in products)
{
List<int> productIdsParameter = new List<int>();
productIdsParameter.Add(item.ProductID);
List<Price> prices = dataProvider.GetPrices(productIdsParameter, 0);
foreach (var price in prices)
{
if (price.PriceTypeID == priceTypeId)
{
prices = dataProvider.GetPrices(productIdsParameter, price.PriceTypeID);
return prices;
}
* Omitting the other 'WTF?' code to handle the zero price type
}
}
}

I removed the double stored procedure call, updated the method signature to only accept the list of product numbers (which it was before the 'major refactor'), deployed the service to dev (the issue was reproducible in our dev environment) and had the DBA monitor.

The two devs and the manager are grumbling and mocking the changes (they never looked, they assumed I wrote some threading monstrosity) then the DBA walks up..

DBA: "We're good. You hit the database pretty hard and the CPU never moved. Execution plans, locks, all good to go."
<dba starts to walk away>
DevMgr: "No fucking way! Putting that code in a thread wouldn't have fix it"
Me: "Um, I didn't use threads"
Dev1: "You had to. There was no way you made that code run faster without threads"
Dev2: "It runs fine in dev, but there is no way that level of threading will work in production with thousands of requests. I've got unit tests that prove our design is perfect."
Me: "I looked at what the code was doing and removed what it shouldn't be doing. That's it."
DBA: "If the database is happy with the changes, I'm happy. Good job. Get that service deployed tomorrow and lets move on"
Me: "You'll remove the recommendation for a complete re-write of the service?"
DevMgr: "Hell no! The re-write moves forward. This, whatever you did, changes nothing."
DBA: "Hell yes it does!! I've got too much on my plate already to play babysitter with you assholes. I'm done and no one on my team will waste any more time on this. Am I clear?"

Seeing the dev manager face turn red and the other two devs look completely dumbfounded was the most satisfying bug I've fixed.

!dev What pisses me off about today's job market is that the following idea is a naive one:

Let's just find a junior position and learn on the job so you can demonstrate your skills to your employer so they can promote you.

Wroooong. Reality: They only hire the most gifted geniuses who already know everything and they don't have the budget for someone who is rusty.

Welcome to the modern world of the CompSci market, where you are expected to have expert level knowledge in every language, especially in Software Engineering and Algorithms. And if you don't remember how to write an efficient Comparator algorithm in under 3 minutes, you're screwed.

Yaay.

The support staff at the Apple stores are called "geniuses". If being able to factory reset an iPhone is called being a genius then call me Einstein for being able to write code.

YAY! I know it's not much compared to you geniuses but it's been hard for me to take the time through high school to really wrap my head around the technicals. I just wanted to share my joy with y'all!!! :D I'm also currently going through the "30 days challenge" and I'm on day 19 still but ayyy I'm getting there!!!

Tried 'root' as the username on a Mac at the Apple Store and guess what. I was in.
Too bad Apple Geniuses aren't smart enough to update after all..

"Lockheed Martin Will Replace F-35's Faulty Computer System With Cloud-Based Programs"

WAT

So apparently those jets have such a fucked software that the recommended workaround is to use them offline and only reconnect them once every 30 days to keep the system running. It's so bad that two air force bases went back to an older system and the Israeli air force also replaced it for their own F-35 jets.

And somehow those stable geniuses think the correct solution is to make everything more network-dependent and apparently already put Kubernetes on a different line of jets.

I just can't stop laughing.

After mass layoffs my team went from 10 engineers to 4 with no drop in expectations. This was a ridiculous ask, everyone was burnt out and could not keep up. For some reason the geniuses in management gave me a bad performance review despite me doing 2 to 3 full time workloads.

That day I put in applications and got an offer in less than a month from one of them. Put in my notice and suddenly it was surprised Pikachu face. Now they are down to 3 engineers and admitted it would be months before they had the revenue to even backfill my position.

Good riddance.

Manager: With all the horror stories why are we even developers?

Me: Because once we get part the horror, we become geniuses.

Manager: So what you're saying is that being a developer is like taking a crap after being constipated for three weeks?

It's okay to make something nobody wants.

I wasted a lot of my life being too scared to make something out of fear. This community especially can be very toxic to people that are starting out, that aren't geniuses, that didnt make every perfect decision for their product.

Life is more enjoyable in a create-fail-learn loop than a consume-criticize-gloat loop.

I wish I'd learned that sooner.

1. our public transport added a free wifi to busses, some years ago already. it's got a "login" page, connect to wifi, get a phone notification, tap it, opens page with an ad and 10 second timer on a "click to continue to internet" button.
... okay.
recently, the geniuses decided to harvest mail addresses, which... *gritting teeth* if you must...
BUT... "please input your mail address". i input and submit.
"we have sent a mail with confirmation link to that address, please click the link to confirm to get access".

FUCKING BRAINZOMBIES, HOW DO YOU EXPECT ME TO ACCESS MY MAILBOX TO ACCESS INTERNET WITHOUT THE ACCESS TO INTERNET?

2. i had a second unrelated minirant, but i forgot what it was, so another one instead:
a long time ago, in a country where i live, the transaction slip the ATM gives you after withdrawing money used to contain info about remaining funds after withdrawal.
then, the info was removed from the slip, and a "feature" was added to atms where you "can" check the money on the account.
doing so costs you 0.50€

greedy asshole fuckers.

"how did you make that app?"
"nice website, how'd you make it?"
"I thought only geniuses could make x? how'd you make x?"

maybe because I put in half a fucking ounce of effort into making it. please kindly shut the fuck up and realize that I don't care enough to tell you how I did it, because it would take more fucking effort to tell you than to walk away (surprise?). no I will not take your idea in consideration. why? because it's not worth fucking considering. go fuck yourself. and don't ask me the same thing tomorrow you cunt.

Fucking youtube ads... Showing me the same retarded ad 100s of times a day will definitely make me buy the thing, real fucking geniuses...

I am still looking for a way to block them forever on android, but I have no idea how. I've been looking for a public key or some sort of certificate in the apk so I could at least do a man in the middle, but no luck so far..

Being 25 and just now getting employable dev etc skills is really quite daunting when you learn of the old geniuses like Bill Joy, Linus, Wozniak and then hear daily stories of 16 year olds doing amazing things.
Inexperience in a field where everyone demands experience is scary. Still excited to see where I Can l can get though.

Any geniuses out here that could think of a reason why the main MySQL user of our production servers lost it last character?

Im kinda flabbergasted. The username went from username to usernam. And I can't think of any reason why that could happen.

Create this fucking account just to say: FUCK XAMARIN!

Mono is great on Linux, but Xamarin.Android is a GAY RETARD!

Fucking Xamarin.Android apps are retarded, wait for them 3 fucking seconds and a simple Hello World app doesn't start.

Retarded Xamarin.Forms make the whole pile of shit a lot worse using fucking abstractions and stuff. And the geniuses at Uno Platform does not make this shit any better.

Why don't those nerds at Xamarin make a way to compile all C# code to native JVM bytecode and provide all C# core libraries AS NATIVE JAVA LIBRARIES, RATHER THAN LOADING A NEW USELESS RETARDED VIRTUAL MACHINE ON THE JVM?

So that's it. Guess there's no way to write good Android apps using C#.

Was writing a functional test in AdonisJS that queries an API endpoint with data and my test stays red with a dainty `expected 500 to equal 200` assertion failure.

In frustration, I yelled "What must I fuchen do to get my 500 to become a 200". Then my dev friend, an absolute fuchen genius tells me, "Subtract 300." I hope the prat stays debugging his code for a week!!

There is this general idea that people have that when programmers are able to run their code in their first attempt, without any error, they think of ourselves as geniuses. But i think that is the case only when you are starting to code. If a programmer with enough experience runs his/her code in their first attempt without any issues, he/she just says their thanks and moves on, because they know that the code can sense cockiness and if they get too carried away now they'll have to pay the price in future.

I put an ad out for a front end developer and all i get is WordPress geniuses.

Ok, here goes...

I was once asked to evaluate upgrade options for an online shop platform.

The thing was built on Zend 1, but that's not the problem.

The geniuses that worked on it before didn't have any clue about best practices, framework convention, modular thinking, testing, security issues...nothing!

There were some instances when querying was done using a rudimentary excuse for a model layer. Other times, they would just use raw queries and just ignore the previous method. Sometimes the database calls were made in strange function calls inside randomly loaded PHP files from different folders from all over the place. Sometimes they used JOINs to get the data from multiple tables, sometimes they would do a bunch of single table queries and just loop every data set to format it using multiple for loops.

And, best of all, there were some parts of the app that would just ignore any ideea of frameworks, conventions and all that and would be just a huge PHP file full of spagetti code just spalshed around, sometimes with no apparent logic to it. Queries, processing, HTML...everything crammed in one file...

The most amazing thing was that this code base somehow managed to function in production for more than 5 years and people actualy used it...

Imagine the reaction I got from the client the moment I said we should burn it to the ground and rebuild the whole thing from scratch...

Good thing my boss trusted me and backed me up (he is a great guy by the way) and we never had to go along with that Frankenstein monster...

In 11th grade I had a shitty teacher who would make students go away from this one computer he always used in the computer lab. It was pretty annoying because he only ever used it to watch YouTube videos of fuckall Bollywood news and other garbage like it.
It was extremely annoying and inconvenient to everyone.
One day, I went to his PC, when he was not there, and reallocated the default way to open all .exe files to nothing, using the Windows Registry.
He came back and saw that none of his applications work and his PC is basically unusable now.
It was extremely funny for a few days to watch the IT guys try to fix but they weren't able to.
Now I don't know what they told the school but a month later they bought a completely new CPU and placed it instead of that one.
So fucking stupid.

If there is anything I learned from Robert Martins in The Clean Architecture book is that: Marketing geniuses are fucking useless

New cringe words going around in the industry..

Staycation and Workcation.

- By geniuses who are working remotely.

Ok, so the new programming language Q# is out. VERY exciting for me! I love the idea of quantum computing! Then I realize that developers will need to know the basics of quantum physics to use it effectively. Yay or nay? Welp, those extremely big, expensive machines won't program themselves (yet).

People think that computer science is the art of geniuses but the actual reality is the opposite, just many people doing things that build on each other, like a wall of mini stones.

Donald Knuth

I am recently hearing about some people in some companies emotionally scarring other people by talking about loyalty to a company whenever someone is leaving them. I never had to meet such geniuses. But i never became an important employee in a firm yet.. Is it common in tech ? Atleast in India !?

There are so many movies that explore the idea of the "void". A world between worlds where dark forces are at play. Only necromancers and evil geniuses dare touch the void.

Programmers be like:
void doSomeDarkShit(void* magic);

To all those geniuses who keep a finger on my screen to show me what they wanted to be changed ,you need to remove your fucking finger first so that I can see what you are talking about. I fucking can’t see through your finger.
Worst part is when they have huge palms that cover most of the screen

Our company has a giant folder that you have to download every release. It contains all of the dependencies within the company and every config file.

Twice a month your workspace gets fucked...BECAUSE THESE FUCKING GENIUSES CANNOT USE FUCKING MAVEN! What the fuck?! What idiot came up with this stupid idea?

So a friend got on MATFYZ (best and probably hardest Uni in our country - Math& Physics) and told me some first impressions today and well, fuck me.. or us..

One dude said he hadn't had much of a time for preparations on getting onto the Uni because he was busy writing learning book about nano stuff and not only for students, but for fucking TEACHERS! He was at the same age as I am now when he wrote this. There were more stories but this one's insane.

Meanwhile I'm here programming fizzbuzz not even studying IT related school (don't ask, bad decisions, or maybe good, probably good, but still) and not knowing shit really.

Is it just me orrr ?

Does someone else have that too?

Sometimes at night when I'm creating something new (or adding to something) and I get into that zone when stuff suddenly works better than expected or when the thing I'm making is just awesome, I feel a need to turn on "evil" music, such as music with deep voiced male choirs, the soundtrack of Portal 2, some classic music like those evol geniuses in movies or comparable.

It just makes me feel like I'm gonna destroy the planet once my evil creation is done.

We use Slack at work for IMs.

There are tons of threads created in each DM, group chat, and channels.

There is a purpose to each thread.

But.. BUT.... Engineering team responds to a thread and also sends the same message in channel.

What's the fucking point of the thread...

FUCKING STOP SPAMMING WITH DUPLICATE MESSAGES.

I have a cup of green tea in my hand right now and I feel like pouring it on myself.

Third tier geniuses from Timbuktu.

As a junior dev, i really appreciate these wk58 rants. Every time i begin to doubt my abilities, i get some insights into the work of past geniuses, and i feel like im doing pretty good for a rookie

Maybe it's just me. Maybe I'm the Charlie Brown of development and Lucy with the football is the XAMPP/MAMP/WAMP software in this world. EVERY. TIME. I. TRY. TO. SPIN. THIS. UP. IT. FAILS. It doesn't matter which tutorial I follow for which technology stack or CMS, the result is always the same. Something about the database or htaccess or some other stupid setting makes it impossible for me to create a simple dev environment on my system.

I have been doing this dance for 24 YEARS NOW!!!! The original programmer of Apache is a 2nd-degree acquaintance who used to be available to help me with this, but no more. I feel like a complete and utter failure as a web developer every time I try to set up XAMPP, and, the rare times I've succeeded and gotten a basic CMS up and running, I fail again and again with all these build/run/task tools I'm now supposed to be using. After a week of fiddling with my local dev environment, I give up and delete it all. I go right back to on-server development "the old fashioned way". WHY!? WHY IS THIS SO HARD?

I'm stepping on rakes here and about to quit. I'm probably just too OLD and STUPID for all these stacks and frameworks and tools and maybe even for this career now. I should probably quit and become a "facilities manager" at a tech firm somewhere, cleaning up the bathrooms and sweeping floors and watching all these young geniuses tut-tut about "Poor StackODev. I hear he had 24 years as a web developer, but then he snapped and he's never been the same."

Took my three weeks paid summer vacation, but ended up coding almost two of the three weeks.

The geniuses in charge decided that everyone should be forced to take vacations anyway due to corona and it under no circumstances could be postponed.
Only SLIGHT FUCKING PROBLEM is that our product delivery is in 2 days.
Lets send the lead developer, and most of the seniors away the month leading up to the release, that could in no way go wrong.

Predicting a hilarious explosion of urgent tasks the second i step in the door :D

So Devrant thanks for providing me such a wonderful platform to present our own memes,doubts and to let me Collab with other geniuses.

Read an article in a newspaper about the pros and cons of hiring super skilled programmers, that it could be an advantage to have a team consisting of geniuses and average programmers (something like that) .
And I thought for myself, that it suddenly seemed possible for me to get a job in the future 😂

"Copy the file sent to our warehouse management system to another folder so we can keep track of the deliveries we sent data for."

Why these geniuses think that having a folder with file names containing timestamps (and not delivery numbers) would make their job easier is beyond me...

Coworker 1 starts project
Coworker 2 inherits same project
*repeat 3 more times*

Coworker n has no idea what this spaghetti code is and what it does since everyone has done quick fixes as per management requirements.

This is how the company where i work functions. And with all these projects going from one dev to the other i can tell you its a real shitshow and a lot if frustration 😤

Manjaro has some quirks that annoy me(no MST timezone, spotty support for my WD NVME), so I decided that since I'm not interested in any pre-configured graphical desktop of any kind, I should just dive into Arch, since it increasingly felt like that's what I was doing anyway but with Manjaro to dull the blow. So I did, and I am over the moon for doing so. Lots of gnashed teeth, but DDG indexes an answer to every question I've had, and it always makes sense when I find it. I've enjoyed having to dive into systemd in a much more low-level way than ever before-- to actually LEARN what it's doing, how, and why.

But one by one, I have been faced with some issue that I need to resolve, and one by one, I've knocked them off. The result now is the best work and gaming desktop I have ever used.

Arch is not for geniuses or wizards. Just patient people who are willing to read. The payoff is staggering, and many times over worth the effort.

Skip to last block for actual question, everything else is about what i see and dont understand.

Machine learning and artificial intelligence is very interesting to me, ive watched a few videos but i cant manage to wrap my mind around it.

I see a few people starting out with projects that appear to be an easy start, but i of course have no idea, were they make a self-driving car in GTA (crashes alot, but still) or teach the program to complete levels in a game (snake, mario, run forrest)

I watched a few videos on Jabrils youtube channel that seemed to make alot of sense, until one point..

How does the AI know when it hit a wall?
How does it know where the walls are?
How does it measure the distance? How does it know when it has respawned?

I find it really, really confusing.
Can anyone of you geniuses suggest me anything to get into this? Id prefer if the goal was to make an AI using machine learning, that can complete some basic game, like in Jabrils videos.

Not 100% related to tech but I think that we can sometimes be close to that kind of people so...

I am tired of those empty people who have been running a successful business and start to criticize governments, people who are staying employees, education system, sometimes saying that school is useless ect

What they don't get is that they are (especially the ones who didn't study and are saying that school is useless) a minority, a 1% while the rest are in factories if not under a bridge.

Those people are for most of them just lucky and yet they sell "the perfect recipe of success" which is basically shitting on everything (hope this rant will get me rich) while thinking that they are geniuses.

So to all the students here. Fucking finish your studies, don't listen to those clowns, because you might not have a successful business, and because you are not a slave because you are not the CEO of a company. They are just a visible minority with a huge ego and for a lot, not a lot of skills. Stop believing those clowns like if they were prophets.

Also, for those who absolutely want to run a business, have an idea first then you'll see.

Scorpion: The worst TV show I will probably ever see.

that's all my rant

What's the general consensus on the forced training courses? We now have a 3rd party arranging a course about FooBar and our managers though it was a great idea for everyone in my team to participate. Since...well you don't know when you need FooBar, so it's good to learn it now! And any education is only good. Makes employees smarter.

Except that I am not interested on FooBar. I don't use it. I can google it when I need it. I can read a book. I could travel to a 3-day course with 9 hours of straight lecturing per day and 200 slides with 10 second pause between them. But I am dead shit sure that after 30mins you lose the focus and after 1 week you remember nothing.

And everyone who's ever been on any company arranged courses, you know that there's always some guy who already knows everything. So starting from the first second he wants to challenge the trainer. Have a dialogue. Discuss about the problems that he has seen. Noone else cares. So you have 30 people listening to 2 guys debating.

But hey, maybe after 6-12months our company starts using FooBar and then we have a couple of dozen geniuses who have taken that multi-thousand-euro class. Or not.

At least you get a cup of coffee and a sandwich on mornings and afternoons.

The 'geniuses' at Business doesn't seem to figure out why all of their systems turn out to be dogshit and outdated within a year or two.
Its because they don't even involve developers/IT into ANY of theirs decisions.

It's kinda like the patient telling the brainsurgeon how to do their job.

Hey, I get it. We are a bunch of antisocial wizards conjuring black magic at our computers all day. I would stay the fuck away from us if I were you aswell, but please for the love of Cthulhu, let us in on your great plans and amazing decisions before assigning blame.

Regards,
Th3 h3ckerz at IT

Common Man: How do you software developers earn so much? What's the secret of your success?
Software Developer: It's not a secret really. It's like any other job, we make sure we are always needed. So we create a mess and then get paid to solve the mess. How you ask? Software developers create the most complex and useful software. Since it's complex, others learn it and become part of the so called the few experts and then get paid tons as very less experts are there for the software and the creators of the software are also of course experts and in fact considered Guru, because, well, they wrote the complex software. They are geniuses, because it's so hard to write complex software. And many of these experts also create new tools to make the software easier to use, for newbies. They also write articles around it - explanations, tutorials, inner workings and gotchas, and also publish books and videos - in paid tutorial sites, and some videos on YouTube too.

I bought a software from FastSpring which claimed it could stop automatic updates, but I was late entering the key for it. Wouldn't you know that a fucking update came in before I could stop it: what geniuses these fkg assholes at MS are! Changed every goddamned setting, killed my old printer, can't find the second monitor, changed the start menu, power settings. FUCK YOU MICROSOFT, YOU ARE DUMBFUCK SHITHEADS TO NOT ALLOW ME THE FREEDOM TO OWN MY OWN COMPUTER! And who the fuck in the government allowed this shit to happen?? The land of the free, my ass.

relativity of paths:

the fact that "paths relative to where the user is launching the program from" EVEN FUCKIN EXIST is such a fuckin idiotic thing.

it means that there's ONLY SINGLE ONE SPECIFIC (unknown to the user) PLACE FROM WHICH TRYING TO RUN A PROGRAM WON'T FAIL.

which is the most moronic thing ever.
and, as usual, linux bullshit turd smell. nobody except linux geniuses could have ever come up with such galactic size bullshit.

I bet those shits at Paypal sure felt smart when they implemented their 2-factor authentication, not realising that phone numbers can change. It's not a fucking SSN assigned at birth, you geniuses.

And when you click on the help link the amazing tip they give you is "login and make sure your phone number is correct". DID YOU EVEN READ THE HORSESHIT YOU WROTE THERE?

The "cracy" in Idiocracy stands for bureaucracy.

Okay people couldn't get a response anywhere so I'm going to do this here considering we have a bunch of geniuses here. I need to create a tunnel in nodejs or java to forward connection from client to server. Need to do this because my damn client can only use ports 80/443. Anybody wants to brainstorm?
These people have so much of garbage data yet want to keep everything secure as hell.