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Friend : Queue is just 'Q' followed by 4 silent letter..
Me : they are not silent they are waiting for their turn...
☺☺☺7 -
Q: As a programmer in devRant, which one do you choose? The small one, the middle one or the largest?
A: Fine, I choose the white one...
20 -
Q: How did you get into artificial intelligence?
A: I don't know it seemed logical -- I couldn't find any real intelligence3 -
Fuck StackOverflow users who edit their question to include your answer.
Q: How to do X?
A: You need to init the Flufloxinator.
Q: How to do X? I've tried with a Flufloxinator but couldn't get it to work.
A: You need to init the Flufloxinator. Here's a fully working demo (pulled directly from the docs you clearly didn't read.)
Q: How to do X? Nevermind, I just had to init the Flufloxinator.9 -
Q: What's your WiFi password?
A: It's fourwordsalluppercase, one word all lowercase.
http://youtu.be/bLE7zsJk4AI2 -
Q: What do computers and air conditioners have in common??
A: They both become useless when you open windows.3 -
From Reddit
Q: Is there a word that describes a fear/phobia of regular expressions?
A: Common Sense3 -
student in an exam
Q: what don't you eat for lunch?
stud Ans: dinner and breakfast.
Q: how do you lift an elephant with one hand?
stud ans: there is no elephant with one hand.1 -
Q: Why always when Dora asks a question, it takes a while until she answers back?
A: Because she's an "Explorer"...
4 -
My reaction when my friend misses
-Q option while mkfs.NTFS-ing his '1TB" harddisk! 😂
The file system will be created before you die 👻
7 -
Recruiters and devs in a nutshell
Q: Your resume says you're fast at solving math problems?!
A: Yes
Q: What's 214x21?
A: 3249
Q: But, that's not correct!?
A: Yes, but it was fast!4 -
Q: Your data migration service from old site to new site cost money.
A: Yes, I have to copy data from old database and import to the new one.
Q: Can I just provide you content separately so you don’t need to do that?
A: Yes, but I will have to charge you for copying and pasting your 100 pages of content manually.
Q: Can it come with part of the web development service and not as an additional service?
A: Yes, but the price for web development service will have to be increased to combine the two. If you don’t want to pay for it, I can just set up a few sample pages with the layout and you can handle your own content entry. Does that work for you?
Q: Well, but then I will have to spend extra time to work on it.
A: Yes you will. (At this point I think she starts to understand the concept of Time = Money...)3 -
"If it ain't broke, don't fix it - unless the customer's paying."
Rule I've never learned and main reason why I don't have enough money despite 25+ years of experience.1 -
Had to switch to a MacBook due to my new employer and the layout is driving me crazy!
Almost 20 years I've been typing the @ by altgr+q (German layout).
At the same position is now command.
And command+q closes the current window instantly.
This happened almost 10 times today...7 -
Project Manager: Hey Gid, we need to start migrating project-A to the new Server.
Me: Okay, I will inform Dev-Q.
Project Manager: Please do and treat as top priority!
Me: Hey Dev-Q, we need to migrate project-A to the new Server and we need to get it done asap.
Dev-Q: But I'm currently working on some critical bug XYZ which PM wants fixed before COB.
Me: I dunno maybe you want to speak with him.
Dev-Q: I was told to...
Project Manager: Yes! we need that done right away.
Dev-Q: What about the critical...
Project Manager: No! treat this as top priority the client just called.
Dev-Q: Okay.
Me: Any update yet?
Dev-Q: Yep but it seems like the database is quite large and the migration may take a while.
Me: Okay take your time.
Dev-Q: {hours later} Pheww done! All files and database migrated successfully.
Project Manager: Good good. So the critical bug XYZ was also completed and migrated to the new server right?
Dev-Q:
6 -
If some of you missed this gem in stackoverflow answers, I bring it once again!
More fun @ http://meta.stackoverflow.com/q/...
6 -
Wrote a custom printer script in shell.
Went to test the script on some printers.
Neglected to check accuracy of script.
script is supposed to print jpeg.
it doesn't interpret it as an image,
but rather as raw binary in text...
^\<92>Q^H2Ei@0$iA+<89>dl_d<87><8f>Q
mfw each printer in the entire 5 story building
starts printing 500 pages of
RAW
BINARY
3 -
Q:
What is programming?
A:
95%: copying code from stackoverflow.
5%: knowing where the copied code should go3 -
I forgot to claim my free stress ball, but then the ++ required were increased so here's a rant about exiting vim:wq
ESC
recording @q
:wq
^C ^C
:q
:Wq
:wq
Wait, shit, I made a typo!
$ nano file.py4 -
Daily fortune;
Q: What do Winnie the Pooh and John the Baptist have in common?
A: The same middle name.1 -
What's your favorite shell alias that you made for yourself?
I use this one all the time:
squash () {
git rebase -i HEAD~${1}
}
Runner up though is `git-fuckit` which resets everything to origin/master.13 -
Shitty call
Me: what do you want?
Q: I Lost my iphone
Me: (already pissed) ok,do you have an icloud account?
Q: Yes, but i forgot the password.
Me: what!?!, ok, fine, we will reset it, which is your ID?
Q: I lost it too.
*stay calm* *stay calm*
Me: I can't help you go to an apple store and ask there. *I Close the call*
*Add that number to blacklist*2 -
There are two types of people. Those who can get out of vim and those who ^c^z^z:w:w:q:adkjkasjd▲▼:q1:q!7
-
Q : How do you generate random string?
A : Put my keyboard layout to Dvorak and write someone's name.3 -
Ever wonder why man prints 'gimme gimme gimme' only at 12:30? https://unix.stackexchange.com/q/...3
-
Q: Why isn't it working after a whole fucking day of trying?
A: Because I'm a fucking idiot. That's why!3 -
"Java uninstalling itself Windows 7"
https://superuser.com/q/1492961/...
The garbage collector is working! :D3 -
iMac tiny keyboard + my fat fingers + Command+Q when I meant Command+A = Table Flipping Extravaganza!6
-
Best way to handle any exception...
try{
something
} catch(e) {
window.location.href =
"http://stackoverflow.com/search/...]+"
+ e.message;
}8 -
I don't know why quiting vim is such a challenge for new users.
While Quit starts with q , so q is very logical for quiting 😬
4 -
devRant Q&A: What is the biggest lie in technology?
My favourite is: OVER 3 BILLION DEVICES RUN JAVA9 -
Q: Tell me what date types do you know.
A: Excuse me!? Date types?
Q: Eh, I see you didn't get it...12 -
Q: How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb ?
A: None, that's a hardware problem.
*badum tsss* -
Escalation channel
Q: @here I'm sending a request to X and I'm getting a timeout. Please help.
A: Can you please share the request you're sending?
Q: It's <URL> and I send this token as a Bearer: <token>
A: I understand that, but it's a lot easier to debug if we have the curl for said request. You can find it here: <postman_screenshot_with_arrows>
Q: Here's what it looks like: <postman_screenshot_with_17.4_km_long_curl>
9 -
Q) What do computers and air conditioners have in common?
A)They both become useless when you open windows.3 -
Q: What's the difference between Java and JavaScript anyway?
Me: Java and Javascript are similar like car and carpet are similar.1 -
Q: How to be a malware analyst without having a knowledge on x86 ASM?
A: Start learning 32 bit ASM instead.2 -
Now that Android P is officially named "Pie",
It makes me wonder what they'd name Android Q?😂
I'm not even aware of any desert that starts with a "Q". 😋22 -
try {
// something...
}
catch (Exception ex)
{
string uriToLaunch = "http://stackoverflow.com/search?q=" + ex.Message;
var uri = new Uri(uriToLaunch );
var success = await Windows.System.Launcher.LaunchUriAsync(uri );
}1 -
Google ditches desserts as Q becomes Android 10
desserts name sounds good to hear rather than Android 10, 11,12 ...12 -
Q: How many management consultants does it take to finish a project specification?
A: Infinite. And this is not even funny. -
One of our politicians at the late-night-show
Q: who wrote La Traviata? Giuseppe or Verdi?
A: ummm.. Ammm.. Well.. *confused af*
Q: so do you know it or not?
A: I know it! I know. I know but I won't tell you. *in all the seriousness*
[true story]
somehow reminds me of IT guys who pretend to know everything just to look cool :)4 -
Using a mac from time to time:
1) Open browser
2) Open Gmail website
3) Insert email address
4) Press CMD+Q to write @
5) FUCK!!!2 -
Q: How many developers does it take to change a lightbulb? 💡
A: None. It's a hardware problem. 👩💻7 -
What's the best Slav programming language?
Hint: czech motorcycle, typically red
Stolen from Life of Boris Q&A -
I type the YouTube URL at the address bar already with the q parameter with what I want to search to save one HTTP request.4
-
!Rant
I have not slept in 28 hours.
I discovered Quantum computing, pubo and simulators.
I FEEL it can solve my business problem, but it is fucking time consuming to write this code. (In a good way).
I do not need sleep at this point, I need answers!
Anyone with good links to either pubo examples or a useful quantum algorithm, I’ll take it ! (not the random number… I have already run that on a real QPU 9Still no idea how much that run cost in $)!)31 -
Almost like interview.....
At project fair..
Q. Which language you use.
Me. Python
Q. Why.
Me. Explained
Q. Why you not use Java?..
Me(in mind): ###############4 -
Q: Whom would you like to date?
Me: Carbon (**whispers in mind** carbon dating and laughs all alone)3 -
Working with surds recently, and found some cool new identities that I don't think were known before now.
if n = x*y, and z = n.sqrt(), assuming n is known but x and y are not..
q = (surd(n, (1/(1/((n+z)-1))))*(n**2))
r = (surd(n, (surd(n, x)-surd(n, y)))*surd(n, n))
s = abs(surd(abs((surd(n, q)-q)), n)/(surd(n, q)-q))
t = (abs(surd(abs((surd(n, q)-q)), n)/(surd(n, q)-q)) - abs(surd(n, abs(surd(n, q)+r)))+1)
(surd(n, (1/(1/((n+z)-1))))*(n**2)) ~=
(surd(n, (surd(n, x)-surd(n, y)))*surd(n, n))
for every n I checked.
likewise.
s/t == r.sqrt() / q.sqrt()
and
(surd(n, q) - surd(s, q)) ==
(surd(n, t) - surd(s, t))
Even without knowing x, y, r, or t.
Not sure if its useful, but its cool.
surd() is just..
surd(j, k ) = return (j+k.sqrt())*(j-k.sqrt())
and d() is just the python decimal module for ease of use.13 -
//Something great
try
{
//Some code.
}
catch(Exception ex)
{
string url = "http://stackoverflow.com/search?q=";
System.Diagnostics.Process.Start($"{url}{ex.Message}");
}1 -
So true ...
"Many developers on a schedule aren't making efforts to write clean and efficient code, relying on idiot-proof languages (and consequently more RAM and faster processors) to make up for their malaise."2 -
Sequel or S Q L?
I find myself dipping between the two recently depending on who I'm talking to. It's driving my insane and I can't stop myself -_-18 -
DevRant just lacks of a section for Q/A similiar to StackOverflow. Guys the here are really kind and nice!!4
-
Q: can you do this awsome project?
A: of course, i would love to develop this shit.
Q: ok, then lets get started. btw please do this in wordpress.
A: bye -
Q: How many broken releases of HipChat does a dev manager put up with before they move the team to Slack?2
-
We've had tabs vs spaces, gif vs jif, but how about S Q L vs sequel? Which one do you prefer? I'm in camp sequel.12
-
Names a variable Y, names another Q, yet another U. While still writing looks back at Q. What's Q supposed to mean? Closes laptop and walks away.
-
I just fucking hate my fat fingers, every once in a while I'm trying to hit CMD + TAB and I end up with my finger in the Q.
FFS.
It hurts the most when what you close is your terminal that had 20 sessions up.2 -
My favorate bookmarklet (ES6 only):
javascript:(()=>{var b,c,a=document,f="onreadystatechange",h="https://rawgithub.com/smore-inc/...=(p,q)=>{p.readyState?p[f]=()=>{"loaded"!=p.readyState&&"complete"!=p.readyState||(p[f]=null,q&&q())}:p.onload=function(){q&&q()}},k=()=>{clippy.load("Clippy",p=>{$(".clippy").css("position","fixed"),$(".clippy").css("z-index",1e3),p.show(),p.moveTo(100,100)})},m=()=>{(c=a.createElement("script")).src=h+"clippy.js",a.body.appendChild(c);var p=a.createElement("link");p.rel="stylesheet",p.type="text/css",p.media="all",p.href=h+"clippy.css",a.getElementsByTagName("head")[0].appendChild(p)};"undefined"==typeof jQuery?(b=a.createElement("script"),b.src="https://ajax.googleapis.com/ajax/...,j(b,()=>{m(),j(c,k)})):"undefined"==typeof clippy?(m(),j(c,k)):k()})();14 -
!rant
Q: Why’s it called back end development?
A: Because all you ever get from it is absolute shit1 -
Q: How did you get into artificial intelligence?
A: Seemed Logical -- I didn't have any real intelligence
-
Ok, so the new programming language Q# is out. VERY exciting for me! I love the idea of quantum computing! Then I realize that developers will need to know the basics of quantum physics to use it effectively. Yay or nay? Welp, those extremely big, expensive machines won't program themselves (yet).
-
Which was the worst talk with person of yours in tech field?
For me:
Seen a person want to upgrade his processor to i7 from i5.. just like windows update...5 -
Quite sure, that there's a special place in hell waiting for the guy, who made the cmd+Q comb so close to the alt+Q (@) on the mac layout.5
-
Q: "What's your most hated programming language?"
Me: "Lisp"
**Maniacal laughter from the interviewer**3 -
import answer from "./knowledge.js"
const topic = 'Vue'
const rant = false
const allowDumbAnswers
const q = 'Why to use only a single Vue instance?'
allowDumbAnswers ? return : answer(q);9 -
That moment when you understand you are going to commit suicide if you dont make a ":q" alias for your shell1
-
Q: What's the relation between Java and Javascript?
Ans: What's the relation between Car and Carpet?!5 -
Q: "Babe, what's wrong?"
Women: "Nothing, its just fine"
Compilers: "Object reference not set to an instance of an object"6 -
DevRant-API-Docs Site Update:
Started with the back-end for the Q&A yesterday.
You can see it here:
https://github.com/devRant-Docs/... -
Q for Linux dudes ... I have a 15.6" laptop with fullhd resolution ... Is there a way not to became blind?8
-
Needs repeating:
Q: Why do programmers always get Halloween and Christmas mixed up?
A: Because Oct(31)==dec(25)2 -
Q - What is more frustrating than the code that won't compile?
A - Boss who is constantly asking you to compile this code.
- as quoted by @GoDmode1 -
My boss will retire next year. He made a countdown in his personal website. http://www.paolofasser.it/q/1
-
So turns out android Q got the first Dev preview... Come on Google, you can turn material design 2.0 around and make it look and feel good, I believe in you!!!!
(Material design 2 is what I imagine Fisher price creating) -
Amazon's stock price is a better uptime indicator than their fucking status page.
https://google.co.uk/search/...2 -
Q. Why are the arrays that Chuck Norris declare, of infinite size.
A. Because Chuck Norris knows no bounds.7 -
Has anyone started learning Q#? Or do you think it's creation was a little optimistic on Microsoft's part?7
-
Writing ! instead of ~ to make a true logic statement negative in Math exam.
Like: ~p=>q —–> !p=>q1 -
Our Daily Stand Up literally became a meeting with discussions and Q&A portion. Greater than 30 minutes LOL8
-
Well this is interesting: just stumbled upon Microsoft's Q#, a quantum computing language, complete with compiler and sim.
It has a similar symtax to C# but is slightly different, and it also depends on C# for doing something with the computed bits.1 -
Once you've conceived children, there is no Ctrl+Z, and once you've met them, there is no Esc, F12, Ctrl+Q or even Alt+F4.9
-
why cant google just index my fucking website?
its been two weeks and the last one I did took so little time
if you go to https://google.com/search/... it shows up, but not the most common query for the site https://google.com/search/...
smh🤦♂️3 -
I read this today.
Q: How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None, that's a hardware problem.1 -
How to know that you need a rest?
You see a code:
```
public function scopeEnabled($q)
{
$q->where('disabled', false);
}
```
And assume that you have a serious bug...1 -
heeeeey!
what libraries, frameworks, third-party stuff, etc. does Python have? I need to know some and I will dive deep on it!8 -
Q) What's the bravest action ever?
a) Sky diving
b) Rock climbing
c) Underwater diving
d) Doing fixes in Production
Correct Answer: Option (d)2 -
Some moron at shitstagram: I have an idea! Let's make the already unbearable IG stories even more unwatchable by making a Q&A feature so people will spam even more stories with shit noone gives a fuck about.
Sometimes I wonder why I even use this shit...1 -
Making some changes to a Blue Prism process I have never seen before
Q: Can we test these changes before going live?
A: No. We are going to pinpoint the problems on the road
Q: Nasty. However we can retry the process if anything goes wrong
A: No. It runs 5:00 to 17:00
Q: Wait, so I have one shot at making this shit work and it's tomorrow?
A: Yes
Yesterday at 2:00 I noticed 2 of the 3 machines are dead, now the process is self destructing every 5 minutes and my mentor, who usually spend weeks without answering phone calls, apparently learned again how do smartphones work 'cause this time he did fucking call.2 -
*First time using Vim*
Me - Yay I am excited to open file in vim
- Vim test.py
*Make some edit, I mean Just changing variables name :P*
Me - alright it's done, let's exit from it
Me - wait how I can get out from it?
Google's it
Me - haha alright let's do it again
:q
Didn't Work
Me - hmm why tho?
-Aah I didn't saved it
:wq
-You can't save this existing file
Me - WHY THO?!
me - alright Calm down it's first time
Spamming bot Activated
:q
:wq
:qq
:we
Me - OMG ! (╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻
- fine let's do it last time
:q
*For more options type vim --h
Me - ಠ︵ಠ
*Next day*
Welcome, I am cortana11 -
When you realize that commands like :wq / :q! / :x aren't getting you anywhere because you're in sublime not vim. I've begun my descent into a vim fan boy...4
-
Q: You know it's Monday when...
A: (typing)... (buffer overflow)
Because you had a bad.. *Segfault*.
Well fyck, spilled me coffee now tho.. -
Q. How did the doctor revive the developer?
A. The dev wasn’t responsive so the doc picked him up by his bootstraps -
Q: What do computers and air conditioners have in common?
A: They both become completely useless when you open Windows. -
Q: Is there a software which can record my keystrokes and clicks and then translate that into a Power shell or Python or any script?6
-
Q: I don't understand why things break when they get updated.
Single Dev because I don't have fucking loads of money to spend on a Q&A team!!!! And it's FUCKING free.1 -
Q: How easy is it to create machine learning models nowadays?
= TensorFlow
That's ML commoditization.21 -
Me during HR interview.
Q) What makes you Happy?
Ans: when my code compiles successfully in the first attempt.1 -
Q&A Time: What company you would like to work in ? Personally, I'd choose Jagex (RuneScape rulez) or Google6
-
Lets help Google out here. Even wikipedia did them no justice and that isn't fair. (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/...)
I will propose Quince Jam.
2 -
Q: Does JS allow you to write functions to return functions?
A: Yes it does.
Doesn't mean you should do this. What's wrong with you?
9 -
Q: What will be left in your code if you remove all the bug causing statements?
A: print("Hello World!") -
rather wait for next gen mobile gpu (gtx 2070 max q,...) before buying a laptop or now, because of some good after-xmas-sales?
-
Q) 0 is false and !=0 is true.right??
A) 1,2,3,4.........................................................................................................................∞ -
Why the fucking ctrl Q on Atom close all the windows without confirmation??
On an azerty keyboard, the letter Q is just on the left of the letter S.. I wanted do a ctrl S !!4 -
When your marketing department moves so slow you now only have 1 month before Q&A for a massive website release and I’m still only 44% done....
-
Can anyone help me solve this https://stackoverflow.com/q/...
I am stuck on this thing and did not receive any answers yet19 -
I want to buy a laptop; so I went with the MSI GS66, but I don't know which option to choose, the 2070 Max Q or the RTX 2060. Both have about the same performance, but I don't know if the bigger RTX 2070 Max Q chip will affect battery life. Is the RTX 2070 Max Q worth the extra 300 dollars. Will it affect battery life? Will it run hotter?9
-
Problems with vi or vim
:Q! ( You may not leave shift button while pressing q button)
Insert ?? Sorry Read only mode ...
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