A friend of mine: Look at this nice app I made 😎
*shows me a normal looking app with tabs and different views"
Me: Hmmm… looks good.
Friend: Do you know how I made the navigation between views? 😏
Me: I'm afraid to ask…
Friend: Since I didn't know how to use the piece of code I found on internet, I made multiple views one above another with visibility set to false, and during the navigation I just change the visibility. 😁
Me: WTF? Man… this isn't something you should be proud of… it shouldn't be done.
Friend: Do you also want to know how I backup the code?
Me: No…
Friend: I send it to myself via email.
Me: FUCK!
Friend: I also never use while loops, I prefer to use for instead with a break inside. 😊
*blocked*

My programming teacher is a freaking degenerate. He spend 7 months teaching us basic stuff like if-clauses, while-loops and stuff like that over and over again - everyone was annoyed but he didn't listen to us because "some people still don't get it". (The reason for this could be their total absence during lessons but who am I to tell.)
Beginning of 2018 he realised we hadn't much time left to prepare for our final exam so he tried self-taught learning. 8 sorting algorithms, recursion, how to write classes and objects in less than a week. And of course there was a classtest about this - needless to say that like nobody passed it. He still has no clue why we are "so lazy and dumb".
One of his favourite code examples is a calculator. I don't know how many i've programmed and they've gotten more and more ridiculous. (Who the hell would want interfaces like IComparer in a calculator?)
He even wanted to convince us that for-loops can't count down (and that things like "i--" doen't exist.)
I could go on and on about this guy and his craziness.

While-loops? They're just a meta-for.

TL;DR :

"when i die i want my group project members to lower me into my grave so they can let me down one last time"

STORY TIME

Last year in College, I had two simultaneous projects. Both were semester long projects. One was for a database class an another was for a software engineering class.

As you can guess, the focus of the projects was very different. Databases we made some desktop networked chat application with a user login system and what not in Java. SE we made an app store with an approval system and admin panels and ratings and reviews and all that jazz in Meteor.js.

The DB project we had 4 total people and one of them was someone we'll call Frank. Frank was also in my SE project group. Frank disappeared for several weeks. Not in class, didn't contact us, and at one point the professors didn't know much either. As soon as we noticed it would be an issue, we talked to the professors. Just keeping them in the loop will save you a lot of trouble down the road. I'm assuming there was some medical or family emergency because the professors were very understanding with him once he started coming back to class and they had a chance to talk.

Lesson 1: If you have that guy that doesn't show up or communicate, don't be a jerk to them and communicate with your professor. Also, don't stop trying to contact the rogue partner. Maybe they'll come around sometime.

It sucked to lose 25% of our team for a project, but Frank appreciated that we didn't totally ignore him and throw him under the bus to the point that the last day of class he came up to me and said, "hey, open your book bag and bring it next to mine." He then threw a LARGE bottle of booze in there as a thank you.

Lesson 2: Treat humans as humans. Things go wrong and understanding that will get you a lot farther with people than trying to make them feel terrible about something that may have been out of their control.

Our DB project went really well. We got an A, we demoed, it worked, it was cool. The biggest problem is I was the only person that had taken a networking class so I ended up doing a large portion of the work. I wish I had taken other people's skills into account when we were deciding on a project. Especially because the only requirement was that it needed to have a minimum of 5 tables and we had to use some SQL language (aka, we couldn't use no-SQL).

The SE project had Frank and a music major who wanted to minor in CS (and then 3 other regular CS students aside from me). This assignment was make an app store using any technology you want. But, you had to use agile sprints. So we had weekly meetings with the "customer" (the TA), who would change requirements on us to keep us on our toes and tell us what they wanted done as a priority for the next meeting. Seriously, just like real life. It was so much fun trying to stay ahead of that.

So we met up and tried to decided what to use. One kid said Java because we all had it for school. The big issue is trying to make a Java web app is a pain in the ass. Seriously, there are so many better things to use. Other teams decided to use Django because they all wanted to learn Python. I suggested why not use something with a nice package system to minimize duplicating work that had already been done and tested by someone. Kid 1 didn't like that because he said in the real world you have to make your own software and not use packages. Little did he know that I had worked in SE for a few years already and knew damn well that every good project has code from somewhere else that has already solved a problem you're facing. We went with Java the first week. It failed miserably. Nobody could get the server set up on their computers. Using VCS with it required you to keep the repo outside of the where you wrote code and copy and paste changes in there. It was just a huge flop so everyone else voted to change.

Lesson 3: Be flexible. Be open to learning new things. Don't be afraid to try something new. It'll make you a better developer in the long run.

So we ended up using Meteor. Why? We all figured we could pick up javascript super easy.Two of us already knew it. And the real time thing would make for some cool effects when an app got a approved or a comment was made. We got to work and the one kid was still pissed. I just checked the repo and the only thing he committed was fixing the spelling of on word in the readme.

We sat down one day and worked for 4 straight hours. We finished the whole project in that time. While other teams were figuring out how to layout their homepage, we had a working user system and admin page and everything. Our TA was trying to throw us for loops by asking for crazy things and we still came through. We had tests that ran along side the application as you used it. It was friggin cool.

Lesson 4: If possible, pick the right tool for the job. Not the tool you know. Everything in CS has a purpose. If you use it for its purpose, you will save days off of a project.

It all started in the year 2013.
I was 13 years old back then. I was a fan of Minecraft and so I learned how to setup a bukkit server and ran it. Installing plugins was fun, because I could be a "hacker" and change the configs.
After a while, (~2014), when I was in the 9th grade of elementary school, I saw Unity. A free game engine. Of course, me being a 14 year old I was intrigued and so I downloaded it, made an account and a new project. I had absolutely ZERO knowledge of programming. Didn't even know what languages existed, so i resorted to presets and poorly put together characters + weapons.
After some time fiddling around with Unity, I've gotten a hang of the basics (not programming related).
My actual programming started when I started High School (year 2016). It's a computer engineering school and for the first part of the year, I've learned from my teacher in C# (Console.WriteLine/ReadLine/Loops/Variables). At the second semester I started to gain interest and motivation to program at home. I did the programs we made in school (random number guessing game) but better. Improved it, added colors.
After that, I started developing in Unity - Actually learning something and having the ability to develop something all by myself. It keeps driving me on. In the second year (the year I'm visiting right now) I tought myself HTML, CSS, JavaScript, jQuery, PHP. I'm very happy and also can't wait to discover and learn new things in these languages!
My latest project was an Android application for my father that he asked for (it calculated the price of the 3D print he would make).

// Sorry for the long post!

EDIT: Forgot to add a fun little detail. All my classmates make fun of me because I program so much !
Also: Tabs > Spaces

So a few years ago when I was getting started with programming, I had this idea to create "Steam but for mods". And just think about it - 13 and a half years old me which knew C# not even for a half of a year wanted to create a fairly sizable project. I wasn't even sure how while () or foreach () loops worked back in the day.

So I've made a post on a polish F1 Challenge '99-'02 game forum about this thing. The guy reached out to me and said: "Hey, I could help you out". This is where all started.
I've got in touch with him via Gadu-Gadu (a polish equivalent of ICQ). So I've sent him the source code... Packed in .ZIP file... By Zippyshare… And just think how BAD this code was. Like for instance, to save games data which you were adding they were stored in text files. The game name was stored in one .txt file. The directory in another. The .exe file name in yet another and so on. Back then I thought that was perfectly fine! I couldn't even make the game to start via this program, because I didn't know about Working Directory).

The guy didn't reply to me anymore.

Of course back then it wasn't embarrassing to me at all, but now when I think about it...

Having to review an offshore C++ codebase made in Romania that the company I worked for they bought to control a wifi module on a complex RF mobile tech device that I can't legally give more details on.

If I could legally post this masterpiece, or should I say masterpiece-of-shit, all of you C++ dev would instantly get AIDS and all the existing types of cancer upon browsing it for 2 minutes.

It's laughably bad and unmaintainable. One of my colleague called it "the perfect example of human obfuscation" and it fits perfectly.

Think of a 100k LoC main function with nested loops and ifs with random sleep values, 1000 values of hardcoded 32 bits arrays declared globally in the first 10k lines for unknown reasons. Comments in Romanian mixed with english. Somehow, this shit works by some miracle.

The worst intern you can think of, while being piss drunk, could do better and it's no joke.

FUCK LINUX

now that I have your attention, and you’re probably angry, too, please, even if you don’t read this rant, never use code.org again. now, onto the rant…

god dammit, code.org sucks. I mean, anyone who created it or associates with it should, well, be considered a terrorist. they’re bombing students futures in computer science with false, useless, bullshit information. not to mention, their sponsors like bill gates, mark zuckerburg, and other rich asses, talk in a video about some boring ass shit that is hard to understand for anyone who doesn’t program, and not to mention, they use a fucking five dollar microphone. ear rape. even if you look at a textual version of it, then read the information on it, it’s practically useless because it's so terribly explained, and also useless. ironically enough, they focus on their animations more than their actual explinations, or their students for that matter. the fact that we had to encode a picture in binary, made me about 50% dumber, give or take a 0 or 1. then, we had to do it in hex, which wasn’t really much better, although more realistic I supposed. what's really the most depressing thing about this class is its application in the real world. I've learnt nothing whatsoever that will help me in the real world, or in computer science. I suppose there's two things that may be useful (that I already knew): hex, and that TCP doesn't lose packets. that's it. those two things. five seconds worth of knowledge from the first quarter of the year. the ideas just make me want to throw up. teaching the main ideas of computer science without actually teaching it? one of the teachers (probably a good one) enrolled her students in an online programming course just so they could understand, because the explanations are just so terrible. this is the only [high school] computer science course offered by code.org, and I signed up because it's an AP computer science class (tried to get into AP Java, the day I was supposed to take the test to get into an upper level class, I was told it didn't count as a tech credit). seriously, fuck code.org. it makes you dumber. their 'app lab' environment is pointless, just like everything else. the app lab is basically where you have a set of commands and have to make a dog bark() or a storm trooper miss() [and that's hell when they haven't introduced while loops yet]. the app lab is literally code.org going out of their way to make everything that their students are learning pointless in the real world. seriously, why can't we just use a <canvas> like an ACTUAL PROGRAMMER would do if they were to make a browser game, not use an app engine so slow it would be faster to update windows and android studio each time I run an 'app' in their 'environment'. their excuse is that the skills "transfer over" to the real world. BITCH! IF I DIDN'T KNOW JAVA, AND I WANTED TO MAKE A GAME IN JAVA, I'M NOT GOING TO LEARN PYTHON, THEN "TRANSFER" THE SKILLS I LEARNT, I'M GOING TO LEARN FUCKING JAVA. AND THAT GOES FOR EVER OTHER LANGUAGE, PROJECT, ETC.

I'm begging you code.org, stop, get help.

while loops....

[long]
When searching for internship via school I found this small startup with this cute project of building a teaching tool for programming. There were back then 2 programmers: the founder and the co-founder.

Then like 1 week before the internship started, the co-founder had a burnout and had to get off the project, while the company was so low on budget the founder, aka my new b0ss, had to work separate jobs to keep the company alive. (quite metal tbh)

It's funny because I'm a junior developer, 100%. I've been coding as a hobby for around 8 years now but I've never worked in a big company before. (No exception to this workplace either)

First project I get: rewrite the compiler. The Python compiler.
"But wait, why not just embed a real compiler from the first case?"
-nanananana it's never simple, as you probably know from your own projects.

The new compiler, as compared to existing embedded compiler solutions out there, needed these prime features:
- Walk through the code (debugger style), but programmatically.
- Show custom exceptions (ex: "A colon is needed at the end of an if-statement" instead of "Syntax error line 3")
- Have a "Did-you-mean this variable?" error for usage of unassigned variables.
- Be able to be embedded in Unity's WebGL build target

All for the use case of being a friendly compiler.
The last dash in the list is actually the biggest bottleneck which excluded all existing open-source projects (i could find). Compliant with WebAssembly I can't use threads among other things, IL2CPP has lots of restrictions, Unity has some as well...

Oh and it should of course be built using test-driven development.

"Good luck!" - said the founder, first day of work as she then traveled to USA for **3 weeks**, leaving me solo with the to-be-made codebase and humongous list of requirements.

---

I just finished the 6th week of internship, boss has been at "HQ" for 3 weeks now, and I just hit the biggest milestone yet for this project.

Yes I've been succeeding! This project has gone so well, and I'm surprising myself how much code I've been pumping out during these weeks.

I'm up now at almost 40'000 lines of source and 30'000 lines of code. ‼
( Biggest project I've ever worked on previously was at 8'000 lines of code )

The milestone (that I finished today) was for loops! As been trying to showcase in the GIF.

---

It's such a giant project and I can honestly say I've done some good work here. Self-five. Over-performing is a thing.

The things that makes me shiver though is that most that use this application will never know the intricates of it's insides, and the brain work put into it.

The project is probably over-engineered. A lot. Having a home-made compiler gives us a lot of flexibility for our product as we're trying to make more of a "pedagogic IDE". But no matter that I reinvented the wheel for the 105Gth time, it's still the most fun I've had with a project to date.

---

Also btw if anyone wants to see source code, please give me good reasons as I'm actively trying to convince my boss to make the compiler open-source.

Cheers!

Oh dear, a scaling problem I solved was replacing some Regex matching with simpler string functions. While I'm a huge fan of Regex, it's unreal how much performance they can suck out of some high-n loops...
I got about 120x out of some critical code thus making a CPU upgrade unnecessary.

Started a new job this week.

Just learned that my manager strictly prohibits while loops and "if else" statements.

Been lurking for a while, figured I would give a rant a go now that I have graduated college!

So here we go, this was the only technical question asked on my second co-op interview. Ended up getting it.

Interviewer: "Do you know any loops?"
Me: "Yes....?"
Interviewer: "Which ones, can you name them?"

When you look back at Code from your 2nd year of university...

Using while loops as if statements to check for vowels... *shudders in fear*

I started at a company to develop an "uber" clone. Hired by the company's cto. I was happy initially as i had been unemployed for a while but that's because i didn't see the shitstorm coming. The task was build this using php, well 2 weeks later and db locking issues because mysql only allows 100 connections and the website takes over 200mb per request, i tried using the meteor framework, a lil better but the orphaned process would require me to reboot every 2 days. So enter erlang, built in 3 weeks works amazing problems none here... Well in comes the cto (which came in once a week). Apparently he had been reviewing my code and didn't understand it. He couldn't understand no for loops etc and demanded that it be made understandable to a normal dev. Did normal devs write uber no. Anyhow i spent the next 6 Weeks refactoring trying to make elixir looks like imperative programming, he finally gave up, so now I'm deep committed writing an API, finish in a week cto comes in and "why aren't you using patch" i don't need it, well another day implanting a patch api that will never be used. Ok done. Now we have a meeting with the investors who i worked in the same building with and they want a frontend built. I explained i was a backend dev and they needed a uiux expert. Next week cto comes back with this jquery fire pit and stolen bootstrap theme and take me with implementing it. This time we scrap the api change some of the backend logic and implement rest from the 90s one static page per request. After 3 months working with jquery I'm let go because of finical issues. I told them i was a backend dev but they didn't listen if the cto would've gotten a frontend expert things would be different but what to expect from a cto who's coding legacy is creating WordPress plugins.

Hopefully things will be better soon I'm tired of living on the streets.

Why do programmers take so long in the shower?
They read the directions on the shampoo bottle and follow them to the letter:
Lather, rinse, and repeat.
If only shampoo used for-loops in their instructions...
while(hair.isDirty){
hair.wash();
hair.rinse ();
}
while(hair.isDirty() && !shampoo.isEmpty()){
hair.wash();
hair.rinse();
}
Come on man, we should still stop if we run out of shampoo even if the hair isn't 100% clean yet.
while(hair.isDirty() && !shampoo.isEmpty() && tap.waterStillHot()){
hair.wash();
hair.rinse();
}
This could go on forever, I mean the adding of special cases.

try {
while(hair.isDirty() && !shampoo.isEmpty() && tap.waterStillHot()){
hair.wash();
hair.rinse();
}}
catch(sexException) { self.f___(spouse); } // spouse showed in in mid-rinse
catch(deathException) { spouse.arrangeForBurial(self); } // user died while showering
More importantly, you also need to catch a hairNotFoundException in the event that the user is bald. Or more properly, wrap the whole thing in "if(hair != null)". You don't want bald users throwing an exception every time they shower.

-- From a reddit feed a while back.

Python does not have ++
Feels so different as I used c c++ and Java!
Just can't write while loops with x++
😭

Developers nowadays.😐

*Program crashes*
Colleague looks over my shoulder : While loop?
Me : ...while loop.

It's been two years...my brain just refuses to write non-infinite while loops. I tend to avoid them as much as I can cause every time, without fail, first time I create one I crash something.

*me looking into code of others*
"am i the only one who uses while loops?"

A long long time ago ( 2007 I think ) I worked for a company that made landing sites, so basically an email campaign would go out, users would be sent to a 1 page website with a form to capture their data, ready to be spammed even more. You know how it was back then.

So I worked with a guy who we had just hired, I didn't do the hiring but his CV checked out, so I gave him one of my tasks. Now most pages were made with js and html, with a PHP backend ( called with Ajax). Now this guy didn't know PHP so I was like all good, ASP works too at the end of the day we don't judge, we do like 2 or 3 of these a day and never look at them again. So he goes of and does is thing.

3 weeks later, the customer calls up to me they still haven't received their landing page. Ok so he probably forgot to email the customer np, I tell him to double check he has emailed the customer. Another week goes by end the customer calls back, same problem. At this point I'm getting worried, because we're days away from the deadline and it was originally my task.

So I go back to the guy and I tell him I want that landing page so I can send it myself, half thinking to myself that we had a freeloader, that guy that comes in to companies for 3 weeks, doesn't work, but still cashes his pay. But no, this was much worse.

So he tells me he has finished yet. I ask him why, what's the blocker ? You had 4 weeks to tell me you were blocked and couldn't progress. And his answer was simply, because I wasn't blocked I have been working on it this whole time. So I tell him to zip his project up and email it to me. We didn't do SVN or git back then, simply wasn't worth it. So he comes back to me and says the email server is telling him attachments can't be bigger then 50mb. At this point I'm thinking he didn't properly sized the art or something, so I give him a flash drive to put it on.

When I then open the flash drive, the archive is 300mb, thinking to myself, the images weren't even that big to begin with.
So I open it up, and I don't even find any images, just a single asp page. About 500mb. When I opened that up and it finally loaded, I saw the most horrendous things ever.

The first 500 lines was just initializing empty vars. Then there was some code that created an empty form with an onChange event that submits the form. After that.. it was just non stop nested if's. No loops, no while, for, foreach, NO elseif's, just nested if's, for every possible combination of the state the form could be in. Abou 5000 of them, in a single file. To make matters worse, all the form ( and page ) layout was hardcoded in the if's. Includes inline css, base64 encoded images, nothing but as dynamic, based on the length of the form he changes the layout, added more background etc. He cut the images up for every possible size of the page and included them in the code.

I showed it to my boss, he fired the guy on the spot. I redid the work from scratch, in under 4 hours. Send it to the client. they had no ammends to make, happy as Larry. Whish I kept the code somewhere.

Morale of the story, allways do a coding test on interviews, even if small things just to sanity check.

Use while loops only

uni prof: "you can't make an infinite for loop. Infinite loopsnare only possible with while loops"....
I think it's not what he meant, but it was a while ago and I forgot the context, but multiple students made a 'what the fuck?' noise.

we had that one teacher in the apprenticeship in the first year who taught us C. There were some people who already knew the language but most of us didn't and we had this one horrible test where we had to do some for and while loops with stars... Like generating something like this:
********
*******
******
*****
****
***
**
*
so most of rhat stuff we never learnt and he couldn't explain to us why our code wasn't correct and we all ended up getting really bad grades in that subject for something really basic -_- just because he couldn't explain it to us and test things we never had

Actual production code:
while(1):
//A few lines of code here with a conditional break.
while(1):
//More code.

Have you ever just had nested infinite loops...

I've spent many years in a bubble of 1 backend lang.. but when i started checking out other langs, I got very annoyed that each one has same basic stuff but with different syntax... Can we just agree on something? Ffs!
We really couldnt come up with unified syntax for -
false, False FALSE
OR or ||
def func function
And dont get me started on all the variations of for loops... Its like we are trying make our life hard

Looking at new versions of some langs, looks like they are copying new stuff from one another.. with different syntax.. thanks!
Nodejs trying to look more like she doesnt have callbacks.. while other langs adding callback functionality... Why why why?!

Somebody ranted about his teacher showing windows presentation and teaching nothing. I wanted to comment that post but i have enough material to make the whole rant out of it.

Well at least you have those presentations! In my school we have 2 IT classrooms one with win xp, 1ghz cpu, 0,5gb ram computers and one with win vista, 2 core 2ghz cpu and 2gb of ram PCs.

Guess what room our teacher is using... of course the worse one! The second one is fine, few years ago another theacher had been using it!

I tried to convince him to change rooms but he is coming up with silly exciuses! (like "server is not working here!", well i fixed it with my friend but why are you even talking about it when you are not using yours in old class!)

PS. That server is useless anyway, every pc is connected to router that is connected to internet so supervisor pc is not mandatory, only acces restriction is enforced by win accounts.

I heard from students from my class (that picked that optional IT course) (i'm in high school) that gimp is not working because pc's are so bad!
Sometimes even notepad frezzes.🤔

Not only class is shite but teacher clearly has no idea what is he doing. (in order to pass the final from IT you need to learn simple C++, up to simple foo objects) and of course he isn not even talking about that! On one lesson about sorting algorithms he gave everybody 10 small pieces of paper with numbers on them and told everybody to sort them manualy, because he didnt know how to do it himself! So there is no doubt they wont be able code it.

I need to mention that i volontered to "clean, fix" that classroom (in order to convince teacher to move). And in that class i saw programms written in c++ on every computer! That means somebody was teaching propely before! 😣

I feel sorry for those guys, they are just waisting time. I would fall for it as well but i decided i can learn coding in home ;).
Well, results are shocking, after 1 month of coding i learned C# and i can basicly make any algorithm i ever wish. I learned about computer operation so well that i can nearly teach computer science. (i helped my friend in usa that is a electronic student with that and i'm very proud of it 😁) and it class still can't even use all 3 loops correctly... 😥 Ok i must admit i have been coding for a looooong while so i had time to learn basic c,c++ and pc operations before, but point still stands.

Why the hell are you wasting life of those studends? Why are you giving them a choice to learn coding WHEN YOU CANT EVEN USE PC YOURSELF?! (that it course is optional so you can apply if you want so)

I dont regret not bothering about it.

Here's my idea. In light of all the efforts to teach kids how to do programming, why not start with an introduction to discrete mathematics instead? From a lot of the programs I've seen, the kids are taught different structures such as if else, while, and for loops, but they don't attempt to start teaching them about recursive methods or even other structures such as linked lists, queues, dequeues, binary trees, heaps, different sorts, and other things. Am I just not looking deep enough into those programs? Or are the creators of these programs not wishing to cover those things because they feel like children wouldn't be able to comprehend such things?

I am a Technical Lead in the department in my company that writes code for our clients that have money but doesn't have the technical expertise to handle the complexities of our own software.

Part of my tasks involve taking care of a few projects written by employees that have left after using third-party tools rather than using our own software. No one else in this department knows these third-party tools, they only know our own, and my *still limited* web development experience means I get dumped these things in my lap.

And I'm SO pissed at these projects and their authors and the manager that let these ex-employees write these things. There is this one project that was managed by two different "developers" (I don't know they deserve this title) at two different times, and it is so riddled with different technologies it makes me want to throw up almost daily.

Don't believe me? Here is a complete list of the dependencies listed in the package.json of this project: babel-polyfill, body-parser, cookie-parser, debug, edge, edge-sql, excel-to-json, exceljs, express, html-inline, jade, morgan, mssql, mysql, pug, ramda, request, rotating-file-stream, serve-favicon, webpack, xlsx, xml2js

What this doesn't even show, is that one part of this project (literally one page) is made using react, react-dom, react-redux, and jade. The other part (again literally one page) is made using Angular and Pug. In case you missed it while picking up your jaw, there's also mssql, mysql, edge and edge-sql. excel-to-json, exceljs, xlsx.

Oh you want *more* juicy details? This project takes the entire data object used by the front-end, stringifies it into JSON, and shoves it into the database *as a single field*. And instead of doing WHERE clauses in the SQL queries, it grabs the entire table, loops, parses the json, and does a condition on it. If even one of those JSON entries gets corrupted, the entire solution breaks because these "developers" don't know what try/catch is.

The client asked for a very simple change in their app, which was to add a button that queries the back-end for a URL, shows it in a modal dialog, after which a button is clicked to verify the link by doing a second query to the back-end before modifying a couple of fields in the page.

This. Took. Me. Two. Months*. Save me. Please, save me.

*between constant context switches between this and other projects that were continuously failing because of their mistakes.

My love for you I can't describe it,
so I dont't even try and hide it.
Dev. you are my one true passion
you are always there to teach me a new lesson.
Some missing semicolon;
I have searched for you soo long.
Or was it a wrong indent,
ah f**k it was the missing increment.
Thinking through endless loops
in while, for and even do form,
just that my programs do a little better perform.
You give me the possibility to express myself as who I am and who I want to be,
in so many languages, from java, JS, GO, python and even C.
You give me bugs and issues that I track,
from motivation for you I never lack.
There are projects out there, where I contribute to
oh what a beauty are you.
And now you even bring fun into my life
with devrant, I now know how to survive.
How to survive client meetings and non devs around me,
oh how much stupidity I there see.
Let's exit this small programm of mine, this so called rime,
where I an immutable statement define:

I think about you even when we are not together,
My dearest DEV I will love you forever.

during a programming introduction course on loops my pals started writing `for` loops instead of `while` loops like so:

`for (;expression;) {}`

spent weeks explaining why it's wrong. needless to say, they still do it. had to hinder myself from ripping my hair off my head

I wanna make a c+friends language and it'd be dev friendly and will throw lots of errors on compile to show love. Also it'll compile slower with each newline so you can always say "it's compiling" there will be classes but people instead and then instead of new I'll have create. As for loops let's go with a friendly do while loop and dontdo while as normal while or dowith i while to have a friendly for loop. Instead of ifs let's say decide() and instead of else let's have or. Instead of functions I'll have well you need no functions you'll have jumps and tests before jumps just like assembly has. Oh and everything will be a pointer because then it runs nicer. To create a variable you can't use = because that's the equal sign in decide you need to use "var int myint is 69" because why not. Then to print to the console "console.outputstream.out(myint)" instead of threads I'll have please like "please work" where work is a jump target. I hope you'll enjoy this language ^^

Stack Overflow people have profound buffallo bullcrap on their skulls, they are some software engineers who have fucked COBOL and BASIC, probably somewhere like NASA, just pondering out where someone post a question. They're probably some etilist cult banging a prostitute while delivering that awful downvote imitating the slap they give the chick during sex. They desire questions such as

"RANDOM_fuck_module_Abdul.method() not working in python" or "how to dock the dock by undocking" (tagged: AWS). Not things like "why does the audio tag not work in a PC but works in w3school tester?" or a genuine programming question. Fuck.

We don't tail recurse or loop abc for k in godfuck loops, huh? We make simple things as: a form, a http request to dell.

I hope there penises get rotten in the hell. Period.
this is just a part of SO.

I'm developing a new (just for fun) programming language and I'm wondering what features I should add next? These features are already implemented:

- Printing text
- Variables
- user-input
- Datatype conversion (String, Int, Float, Bool, List, Dictionary)
- lists/arrays
- dictionaries
- Sorting
- Shuffling
- random numbers & choices
- Math stuff like: log, abs, floor, ceiling, sin, etc...
- Time & Date
- Working with files
- If-else statements
- Ternary operators
- Loops (for & while)
- Functions
- Classes
- Error handling
- Importing libraries & other scripts
- Arrow/callback functions
- Escaping (\)

is there anything you often use missing?

What the fuck is going on ???

How the "intermediate" c# developers can't do a simple null safe average of even numbers in an array ?!

Why they still write loops and shit (without any nul checks ofc) while it can be done in 1 line :

array?.Where(x => x % 2 == 0).DefaultIfEmpty(0).Average() ?? 0

WHY ? Even Junior c# dev is supposed to know that shit

Fucking hashtables...I forgot that removals can screw with the probing sequence, causing later lookups to "randomly" fail after hundreds of operations and elements.

Spent 4 hours staring at 3 while loops and data sets of hundreds of key value pairs trying to figure out why one giant data set worked fine but the other failed on some lookups.

Made a small text adventure type game with C++ when I was a kid. Was great to just play that over and over and revel in my mastery of if statements and while loops.

Started out with python, while meaning to learn javascript.

I am now competent in python. Im still not sure how it happened.

Started python because I got tired with doing repetative calculations by hand. I think I had like a phobia of problem solving with nested loops. any time I thought a problem would require nesting, especially more than one nested loop, I would just avoid doing it, or end up doing it by hand.

Wrote so many goddamn loops though in the process of exploring graphs, doing things by hand seems like a nuisance. Thinking in loops has its own zen or something.

Now I just need to get over my fear of json-based CLI-enabled configuration-over-convention.

I'm still a beginner for programming, I got the basics (for JavaScript) down but I don't really know how or where to use it, like loops(for, do while), return, and stuff like that.

Going through the books and online exercises they just make you do the basics like loop a number 10 times to print out 0-9 or something like that. And the return keyword I usually forget about because I've never been told how I can actually use it for something.

I want to learn how I can use all of these and when I can use them, is there any books, videos, or courses I can look into? I'm sorry, this is probably a Sinbad question but I am just trying to get as much help as I can

While learning Java back in campus and you were the only one who could nest some for loops and create some pyramid stars and the lecturer was on you to(Java Ninja) explain it to fellow classmates that felt good.

I've been helping a friend of mine with his postgraduate project the last 3 months.
It was a Java based program made in Processing. Though I am not a Java developer and I never used processing before, it wasn't that hard to write the logic of the program.

I noticed that sometimes Java made me use loops for almost everything.
Also I had to communicate between server and client via JSON but I had to write it manually as string due to the lack of keys in Java.

The main trial though was with the logic of the project. It was supposed to be made as a framework to be extended from custom user classes. I had to change the core classes I made many times because the user class had methods that should run while the parent class didn't have them declared. That could be my fault for not knowing how to write desktop application framework but you can't expect a framework to be extended in a compiled state, or so I think. Processing on the other hand doesn't seem to like the idea of an external java library. At least it didn't workout for me, it should be able to work normally.

In the end the project was never as completed as we wanted. It could rum a basic sim but we hadn't the time to test other possibilities.

Things I say to my clients when I know that a reboot is required to fix their issue but I don't have enough evidence to prove it to them :

"... On any computing platform, we noted that the only solution to infinite loops (and similar behaviors) under cooperative preemption is to reboot the machine. While you may scoff at this hack, researchers have shown that reboot (or in general, starting over some piece of software) can be a hugely useful tool in building robust systems.

Specifically, reboot is useful because it moves software back to a known and likely more tested state. Reboots also reclaim stale or leaked resources (e.g., memory) which may otherwise be hard to handle. Finally, reboots are easy to automate. For all of these reasons, it is not uncommon in large-scale cluster Internet services for system management software to periodically reboot sets of machines in order to reset them and thus obtain the advantages listed above.
Thus, when you indeed perform a reboot, you are not just enacting some ugly hack. Rather, you are using a time-tested approach to improving the behavior of a computer system."
😎

A v dumb C language question....

Consider this code snippet:

{
while( getchar() != EOF )
printf("a");
while( getchar() != EOF )
printf("b");
}

Is there some way to get inside the second loop? After I input some text, ctrl+D sends in the text stream and loop 1 executes, then the control waits at the test for loop 1 again, pressing ctrl+D again triggers EOF, but it ends up skipping all loops after

Maybe it's just me, but:

1. Never works on first try:

doStuffWithWhile()
while (someShitIsNotOver)
doShit()

2. Works like a charm:

doStuffWithManualLoop()
doShit()
if (someShitIsNotOver)
doStuffWithManualLoop()

TL;DR I just recently started my apprenticeship, it's horrible so far, I want to quit, but don't know what to do next...

Okay, first of all, hey there! My name is Cave and I haven't been on here for a while, so I hope the majority of you is doing rather okay. I'm programming for 6 years now, have some work experience already, since I used to volunteer for a company for half a year, in which I discovered my love for integrations and stuff. These background information will probably be necessary to understand my agony in full extend.

So, okay, this is about my apprenticeship. Generally speaking, I was expecting to work, and to learn something, gaining experience. So far, it only involved me, reading through horrible code, fixing and replacing stuff for them, I didn't learn a thing yet, and we are already a month in.

When I said the code is horrible, well, it is the worst I have ever seen since I started programming. Little documentation - if any -, everywhere you look there is deprecated code, which may or may not been commented out, often loops or simply methods seem to be foreign for them, as the code is cluttered with copy paste code everywhere and on top of that all, the code is slow as heck, like wtf.

I spent my past month with reading their code, trying to understand what most of this nonsense is for, and then just deleting and rewriting it entirely. My code suddenly is only 5% or their size and about 1000 times faster. Did I mention I am new to this programming language yet? That I have absolutely no experience in that programming language? Because well I am new and don't have any experience, yet, I have little to no struggle doing it better.

Okay, so, imagine, you started programming like 20 years ago, you were able to found your own business, you are getting paid a decent amount of money, sounds alright, right? Here comes the twist: you have been neglecting every advancement made in developing software for the past 20 years, yup, that's what it feels like to work here.

At this point I don't even know, like is this normal? Did git, VSCode and co. spoil me? Am I supposed to use ancient software with ancient programming languages to make my life hell? Is programming supposed to be like this? I have no clue, you tell me, I always thought I was doing stuff right.

Well, this company is not using git, infact, they have every of their project in a single folder and deleting it by accident is not that hard, I almost did once, that was scary. I started out working locally, just copying files, so shit like that won't happen, they told me to work directly in the source. They said it's fine, that's why you can see 20 copies of the folder, in the same folder... Yes, right, whatever.

I work using a remote desktop, the server I work on is Windows server 2008, you want to make icons using gimp? Too bad, Gimp doesn't support windows server 2008, I don't think anything does anymore, at least I haven't found anything, lol.

They asked me to integrate Google Maps into their projects, I thought it is gonna be fun, well, turns out their software uses internet explorer 9.. and Google maps api does not support internet explorer 9... I ended up somehow installing CEF3 on that shit and wrote an API for it in JS. Writing the API was actually kind of fun, but integrating it in their software sucked and they told me I will never integrate stuff ever again, since they usually don't do that. I mean, they don't have a Backend as far as I can tell, it looks like stuff directly connects with their database, so I believe them, but you know... I love integrating stuff..

So at this point you might be thinking, then why don't you just quit? Well I would, definitely. I'm lucky that till December I can quit without prior notice, just need a resignation as far as I can tell, but when I quit, what do I do next? Like, I volunteered for a company for half a year and I'd argue I did a good job, but with this apprenticeship it only adds up to about 7 months of actual work experience. Would anybody hire somebody with this much actual work experience? I also consider doing freelancing, making a living out of just integrating stuff, but would people pay for that? And then again, would they hire somebody with this much experience? I don't want to quit without a plan on what to do next, but I have no clue.

Am I just spoiled, is programming really just like that, using ancient tools and stuff? Let me know. Advice is welcomed as well, because I'm at a loss. Thanks for reading.

Mixing tabs and spaces in python for loops. Took a while to find out what was wrong :/

void main()
{
if( isWeekday() ) {
if( alarmRinging() || kidsKnocking() ) {
startMorningRoutine();
escapeToOffice();
while ( !meetingsInProgress() ) {
code();
} //meetings interrupt the whole day, every time...
escapeMeetings(); //Go home.
startEveningRoutine();
} else {
sleep(1);
}
} else {
playWithKids();
doYardWork();
if( kidsSleeping() ) {
sleep(1);
}
}
} //end main. Like a microcontroller, this forever loops. :)

Just something I've been thinking on for a while:
How could programming be done if we couldn't use ordinary if-statements (but functional set operations such as map, filter, with an if- in the lambda function etc. is alright).
Could it work? Also would it be possible to reduce the amount of while loops by using functions for most of the "loop situations" as well?

so.
i had a stupid idea that'd let me do a project i had planned and abandoned a while back after getting experience with the new project.
problem: detect and manage empty space in a massive file, allow adding data to those empty spaces from files, and fill in a table in a designated empty space with where dynamically-loaded things are. In Python.

I tried JUST detecting empty space, and Python would break out of loops for no reason at all just at random. "run bottom to top through this file until a non-00h byte is found" would either break out of the loop way earlier than should be possible (8 or 9 bytes into a 32KB empty file) or run way into non-zerofill areas before breaking the loop.

Am I just retarded? Is this more Python conditional fuckery? i'm so lost that it's just on hold for now (and i think i lost that script too)