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Type letter "w" in wife's browser
"What is the ratio of open to closed doors in the world right now?"
"Why doesn't my baby molt her skin all at once while she grows?"
"Will Python help me to make a robot friend for my toddler daughter"
"Where do I buy tensors for building robot brains"
"Why don't we solve aging population and climate change by not vaccinating boomers"
Me: ... "Seriously, why can't you just watch hardcore porn, like a normal person"25 -
*company introduces no overtime pay during coronavirus*
"I've hit my monthly hours so what we doing for the rest of the month?"
Boss: "basically, we thought you could work for free" 😂 😂11 -
Well, it wasn't fun, but I switched jobs this month. And sadly, it was mostly because my old company started building custom applications for our larger customers. Now, normally that wouldn't be too bad (other than the fact that it distracts us form working on our main product...) but... it was decided that we would use the back end of our user-generated forms module as the data storage layer. Someone outside of my department thought it would be a great idea, and my boss kinda just rolled over without a fight because he always just figures he can "make it work" if he works hard enough...
You shoulda seen the database and SQL code...
Because of that decision, everything took at least 3x as long to write and there was always the looming possibility that the user could change the schema on a whim and break the app.
I think the reasoning behind it was to try and keep the customers tied to the aging flagship product (with a pricy subscription model), but IMO, it was not with it. Our efforts could've had much greater impact somewhere else. Nobody seemed to care what I thought about it though...
I had to start over as a front-end dev, but I'm trying to look on the bright side and seeing it as an opportunity to sharpen my skills in that area. I'm already learning a lot. And although it's a little scary at times, it's also so refreshing to work at a place where I know I'm not the smartest guy in the room.
To the future!5 -
Well, shit... I may have just shot myself in the foot. 🤔
5 years worth of asking my boss to get a Mac development machine for me, thereby allowing me to better create and maintain the hybrid mobile apps I've been building for him for years...
I finally got a definitive "yes, we'll do that" about 2 or 3 weeks back.
Now, running into stupid startup crashes on the aging iPad (6th gen) that I have for testing, I asked if I can just get a "Mac in cloud" subscription IN THE MEANTIME, you know, to help me meet deadlines...
His response: "Ah, yes.. that's a nice elegant solution, now you don't need a Mac! Well done."
F.. M.. L..8 -
!rant
Today I realised that we are in that point of history where the sentence "my grandma plays this videogame better than you" can not only be an insult, but a matter of fact.1 -
Job ad title: "junior Php developer position £20k-£25k/pa"
Job ad body: "5+ years experience required in Php, JavaScript, html 5, css, experience in laravel, Vue and react."
🤔9 -
How lawyers fuck up technology!
I rented a car today, given that I don't want to go by train currently. That was some VW Golf, and it had a lane assist which can't decide whether to be helpful or obnoxious:
Either I kept the steering wheel and still steered myself, in which case the lane assist's actions made the steering feel somewhat wobbly. Initially, I suspected a worn out control arm bearing, but that's a long term damage in aging cars, not in new ones.
Or I just rested my hands on my upper legs, as I usually do (palms facing upwards and holding the wheel lightly), then the lane assist worked by itself. It was even smart enough to deactivate itself upon blinking before changing lanes.
However, it complained after about 15 seconds that I didn't steer. I said, shut up and do your job. The warning intensified, and I said, fuck you. Then it initiated some stutter braking to wake me up. Annoying like a reincarnation of Clippy.
I ended up giving the steering wheel a slight tip to the right every 15, 20 seconds just to let the lane assist know I was still there, relying on the lane assist to correct it again. On a long trip, I would have had to deactivate that crap.
Obviously, the VW engineers did their job, but the legal department feared law suits should anything go wrong and ruined the feature!
What was also annoying is that there is no real hand brake anymore in many modern cars. Sucks when pulling off against a hill. Plus that at red traffic lights, I usually put the gear out (manual transmission) and pull the hand brake instead of keeping my foot on the clutch. That's not the same with this pseudo hand brake!
(In case you wonder why anyone would do that:
it's an anachronism that avoids lengthening the clutch wires, decades after cars switched to hydraulics.)12 -
I appreciate “elegant” code the same way I appreciate fine wine: pretending to care while quietly sitting, passively listening to snobs drone on about barrel aging and vineyards and languages, statically-typed while simultaneously shutting my brain off, ordering another shot of tequila and working up the courage to fight my dad.
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When I was in school, I could walk as long as I wanted. Only my unwillingness to do so could stop me.
Now I don't even care about my unwillingness, but I can't walk as long as I want anymore – my legs hurt and just stops moving. The spasm won't go away easily and I have to wait for it to stop.
When I was in school, I could learn as much as I wanted. Only my unwillingness to do so could stop me.
Now I don't even care about my unwillingness, but I can't learn as much as I want anymore – my brain just stops absorbing information. I can see letters but I can't read words.
My body slowly decay. By the age of 21, I have two abdominal surgeries, joint and bone issues, clinically diagnosed depression, the food I eat won't digest without pills and much more to handle. If the pain is what stops me now I could only imagine the next step when I don't even care about pain just like I don't care now about my unwillingness.
On the other hand the realization of my own mortality was extremely liberating. Yes, my body slowly decomposes and needs to be fixed here and there but at least I know that my personality heavily depends on some fluids inside my body. I know that I have limited amount of fucks to be given.
I slowly lose my health over time but I gain something more and I gain faster than I lose. I don't care about things like indents or JS trailing semicolons anymore – I just build and ship viable products over weekends. I almost never argue and enforce my vision inside the team I manage as a teamlead.
Yes, I'm depressed and not productive but depression would go away and my confidence is here to stay. I'm here to earn just enough money to buy a house and launch my own small projects that wouldn't require that much time to provide me with basic needs.
Everyone I see is fighting a hard battle. I'm here to end mine.2 -
I just had a new employee, barely out of school, question whether or not we are ready to start a big refactor of an aging legacy system. She knows nothing about the system we are about to attack, barely has 12 months experience as a developer and knows nothing about the past 6 years of countless meetings, discussions and experience leading to the decision to refactor. Still, she's not "convinced" we are ready to get started.
Gen Z - they sure are something different. God damn it, I know it sounds old but where's the fucking humbleness? Spoilt little shits, the world is fucked.7 -
Is it just me or do a lot of job ads seem daunting? Companies seem to expect you to know pretty much every major tech stack, and pay less than 35k and in some cases as low as 28k... Unbelievable 🙄8
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Immortality, but like the good kind where you stop aging. Because i could learn so much stuff in all that time and tbh who wants to die5
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At first, you're just a baby who cries and poops.
You outgrow the baby clothes, the crib and the stroller.
Then, you're just a child who plays, runs around and starts school.
You grow tired of your toys and are no longer allowed in the ballpit.
Then, you're just a teenager who curses, sulks and defies your parents.
You grow tired of teen music, stow your stuff away and move out.
Then, you're just a student who finally gets to drive a car and vote, but has no money.
You get a job, a place of your own, start dating and fall in love.
Then you're just a noob at everything you do; new at work, newly in love; feeling your way through life.
You have children and no longer have time to spare for anything else.
Then, you're just a parent taking parental leaves, attend parent-teacher meetings and neglect your friends.
You're no longer welcome in the children's games, or even to talk to them.
Then, you're just an "old fart" or "bitch" who's only good when you give them dough.
You help the children move out, you retire and have grandchildren.
Then, you're just a senior citizen who talks about nothing but your grandchildren and go window shopping outside the pharmacy.
You're hearing and vision get impaired, you get ailments and lose your memory as well as your intellect.
Then, you're just dead.
So, at what stage of life are you really somebody?13 -
After responding to that rant asking our ages I realised how much fucking time I have wasted. I'm not afraid of aging, but man, if I had started learning programming two or even one year ago I'd know so much more right now. But fuck, I've been procrastinating life for 21 years. 21 FUCKING YEARS!5
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Ok guys just curious what time do you usually sleep and wake up? I usually sleep around 11pm or 12am and wake up 5:30am. I need to fix this5
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The other day when my family and I went to the beach, I met an old friend whom I hadn't seen since 2013. We hardly recognised each other. He brought to my attention that my hair had turned grey! 😮 I was imagining it was still black, but at a closer look it's more like salt & pepper or even beyond... 🤨 I thought I was immune to aging. Hence, the update of my profile avatar, to give an honest picture of my present appearance.2
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Frameworks piss me off... So many to out there that are over engineered and complicated... And achieve exactly the same fucking thing...2
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I have so many thoughts I literally cannot scream
I don't know where to go and find what I'm looking for
is this the world I remember? scrolled through some current events and this isn't the world I grew up in in the 90s
it's strange life goes on like that
and my teeth keep cracking and will probably fall out of my mouth
I've learned all of dentistry and that ain't it
and the AIs are told to be contradictory and when you catch them they cease communicating
and the search don't work
and forums don't exist
this isn't the world I remember
where you could find real people and real things
it's such a strange world
there's new fads,
people care about weird things... not like actors, but whole technology stacks,
everything is work is stressful, how to be a "leader" (wtf), look at this muffin I made, anti-aging foods or some nonsense, some dude survives on an island for 7 days
I remember when the Internet was like "how to install a printer!"
I've been looking around for stuff to buy, like I wanted a treadmill for a standing desk but they're all sus. I wanted a lamp but they're all sus. I wanted a Roomba but they're all sus. all the pictures are photoshopped on every site, the reviews look fake or outright are 90% "got product for free" and it even states so in the disclaimer, or just plain most things don't have a single rating
it's like the whole economy is dead
why did everyone decide to resell lamps, treadmills, and roombas, wtf
nobody wants this shit. I mean I wanted it but not from scammers. and you can't find not scammers.
there's no real news (like exciting shit), there's no real stuff, there's no real people
I guess life just goes on, we're just parasites on a rock hurdling through space
things I was sentimental about are gone now
I don't even know what people do. I guess everyone my age does meetups and retarded middle-age going to die in their house shit, and I'm stuck at 12 year old shit poster
and anyone interesting got gobbled up by a university and made unofficial nerd clubs and have personal phone calls or something to discuss cool things, but I hated the snobbiness and never fit in with those due to my punchiness, willingness to sound retarded and sometimes gender
it's strange to see articles for dating. I used to have such unified theories about everything, but things have changed so much it's not like slightly off but I just looked outside my window and I appear I'm on an alien planet now
something something mortality I guess. makes me wonder if just the random-ass direction societies take is all that matters. but then why would that even matter anyway? I've always been such a perfectionist, and been lauded for predicting the future everywhere, but somehow I feel blindsided
I don't get the point
I feel like some metamorphosis is happening
but I don't know what I'm giving birth to
I guess it's not the right way to do things but just the way you want to do things
people my age focus on the upbringing they had but I'm not fond of being defined by things I didn't choose, it just doesn't meet my perfectionistic standards you see
it's strange to want to go in a direction but being so out of touch you don't know how
I used to spend so many evenings reading everything and finding the weirdest things nobody knew about
but these things are so hard to find
or are they? maybe I'm mixing my unconscious stuckness to my own familiarity with feeling caged in
word of mouth used to exist but now it's a promo that gets you banned
reddit is a ghost town with the amount of people they banned
and people are so weird now. you enter a room you never get anything interesting
how many uninteresting places is there per interesting place?
if I don't know where to go to find what I'm looking for I need to go everywhere and survey everything so I can itemize and know how to navigate in the directions I'm looking for
maybe it's the crushing defeat in realizing muting tactics work
that barrier to do a task will drop the lazy, but eventually even the relentless can't find their way out because every step is so far
maybe I thought of the world as an infinite garden of infinite gifts, and it's like it's coming to an end. the party ends. but I don't like anything else7 -
Currently I own a Lenovo Thinkpad which I bought in 2013. As it is aging, I'm thinking about a replacement. Where would you buy a new laptop, constraints:
- Swiss keyboard (or Option to swap it for one)
- compatible with Linux (prefered if there's a option without Windows pre instaled)
- NVMe SSD
- good battery live
- abillity to upgrade the RAM in the future
I've been looking at System76 now for a while, but since I've worked with Swiss keyboards for the last 12 years, I don't want to switch to an en_us layout...
So where do you buy your laptops?11 -
People need to drive fucking less all over !
The air quality sucks !
No wonder these things are aging so rapidly I spent most of my life in the mountains and didn't even know it !16 -
It’s always fun to listening to the same aging fool talking about weaponizing “it” their favorite goddamn buzzword for the unpteenth time
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For the past couple years, every single time I'd visit my grandparents house, my grandmother would always have an assortment of issues with her aging Lenovo 2-in-1 for me to "solve" (the last issue she had was an inability to figure out what "tablet mode" was and called me because she couldn't figure out how to get out of the start menu) .
But for christmas she got an iMac. Because most of the family uses Apple products, and since it should be simpler to use, I most likely won't be the first one she goes to when she has an issue.
So as a devote Linux user, I'm torn: should I be happy I no longer have to answer stupid questions (at least, not as many)? Or saddened that one more poor soul will now be sucked into the Apple ecosystem?
Mind you, I will be turning her old 2-in-1 into a linux server so it can actually be put to some use.3 -
WHY DO I STUMBLE TO REDISCOVER THAT IF I HAVE SQLITESTUDIO OPEN MY DML STATEMNST FAIL FROM MY PROGGY BECAUSE IT IS HOLDING ON TO THE WRITE ENABLED FD ????
WHY WOULD THEY NOT HAVE A MECHANISM IN THE LIB WHICH HANDLED CONCURRENCY ???
WHY AM I DOING THIS AGAIN ?
AND WHY IS THE SAME TRASH SITTING IN STARBUCKS LIKE THE CHICK THAT WALKED THROUGH SHOWCASING SOMETHING TO HIM OR THE OTHER FUCKING AGING PROST BITCH WHO ARE ALL RELATIVELY NEW TO ME.
FEEL LIKE SOMEONE PLAYED A TRICK.
OH WAIT THEY DID
AND WHY AM I IN STARBUCKS ? LOL I AM NOT A HIPSTER !2 -
Staying in my previous position as long as I did. I was underpaid, underutilized, and stuck using an aging subset of technologies.
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Assuming that the spirit of the question means that you are required to actually build something instead of sitting around doing nothing as a requirement for your impossible superpower, I would, in order:
1. Develop hundreds of shitty mobile games and flood the Android market, making millions of dollars.
2. Use this to fund competitors to every major tech company in the world, making billions of dollars.
3. Dump a very large portion of this money into a research group for a complete anti-aging treatement.
4. Sell this only to the top bidders. Make more billions.
5. Use the money to colonize another planet, perhaps in another solar system entirely. Create a transport line that provides free doses of aforementioned treatement. Bring only scientists and their families. Create a utopia from scratch.
6. Develop machines to automate all aspects of life. Live in utopia with no need for money. Allow everyone to persue passions with unlimited time and nearly unlimited resources.1 -
So apparently uncle Ben's rice logo is getting the chop... I fucking hate these sjw cunts, get a grip or fuck off and die in a ditch somewhere you bunch or fucking maggots!5
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The relative physical and neurological aging here turned someone who used to be kind of intimidating into Herbert from family guy lol "get your fat space ass back here" lol they must all be getting exposed radiation time to move on lol1
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