*listens to music using Samsung earphones*
Person next to me: Nice song
Neighbor: Nice song
Aliens: Nice song

The reason why aliens are avoiding earth:
Me : Guys, the CI/CD pipeline is ready. ci.yaml is our config file, so don't remove it as the deployments will fail.
**10 seconds later**
slack: BUILD FAILED
Me: *Looks at git commits* "Brian removed ci.yaml

Wtf BRIAN!🖕🖕🖕🖕

Maybe aliens haven't visited our solar system because we have one star...they would probably be looking for systems with 4 or 5 stars rating.

Sad, but true.

Think about that.. :/

So true.

When you want to cover all userbases.

In the spirit of true randomness, I like to speculate about aliens. What’s your favorite theory about them? Anything’s fair game: whether they actually exist, methods of propulsion, origins, exobiology, exopolitics, eyewitness reports by credible reporters (pilots, military, air traffic controllers, high-profile political leaders, etc.) whether abductions are real and, if so, why they do it, etc. If you’ve had an encounter, I’d love to hear about it.

Why I quit playing video games 15 years ago, and how that impacted my life.

In a land far far away (probably from where you are) on a distant planet (probably for aliens reading this) In a typical city, in a typical apartment, I woke up from a deep deep sleep, the kind of sleep that you can only have if you've been up the previous 2 days binge playing final fantasy 7.

It was a day like any other, except, on this day, I had a haunting thought:

"What if I played my LIFE, like I did video games"?

Long story short. I couldn't play video games anymore. Instead of "working" I saw it as gaing exp points. Instead of "failing" I saw it as necessary to build up character flaws.... etc.

I haven't looked back. I created 3 businesses, I learned psychology, marketing, programming, law, etc etc.

I look at my current status, strength points, charisma points, intelligence points, etc.
And I'm proud.

You get the idea.

Later, I realized something else. If I work all day in front of a computer, how can I play in front of a computer too?

This could be a better post, but you get the gist.

Know the role video games plays in your life, and don't let it play YOU.

You guys ever thought about the concept that our universe might be a simulation written by some alien kid for a school project and got a C- for it?

Yeah...perhaps I should go to sleep

When I was younger (about six) I wanted to hack into NASA and release all their files on aliens and UFO's to the world so they would know the truth 🌎👽

How the Fuck are aliens going to communicate to us, when the protocols we use for communication are all human made?

We should disable the “verify that you are a human” captcha for a day and see if aliens try to contact us via internet.

if (stuck && coworker_near){
me.explainProblem(coworker);
// tl;dr
}
else {
me.pzizzPowerNap(20);
}

This usually works for me.
(FYI : Pzizz is a free app for Android/iOS)

Unity is trying to communicate with aliens

*Compiled successfully on the first try

Me: Expecting SEG FAULT.

*No SEG FAULT

Me: Expecting logical error.

*Runs fine

Me: Aliens hacked my mind.

Considering Ben10s aliens are ten different apps, this is what my client wants

Working with Microsoft is like trying to make a fucking bridge out of jello. It’s like trying to tell where you are in a forest by licking the soil. It’s like trying to run on a track covered in oil. It’s like trying to speak to aliens. Its like trying to write something with your own blood. It’s like spending 10 fucking hours to find out how to setup the IDE so the scrolling works. It’s like shoving your tv remote up your own ass to feel something.

New employee started this week, doesn't know anything about bash because she's a Windows user :/ She'll receive a crash course today by me (she has bash installed on Windows 10 because we require it for some of our tools).

-- What if JavaScript never existed?
-- What if HTML was a programming language?
-- What if our data online isn't abstract but physical?
-- What if geeks have their own country?
-- What if humans exist and we are the aliens?
-- What if the internet is state-owned?
-- What if we could download food just like every other downloadables?
-- What if my VSCode won't kill me when switched to light theme?
-- What if there was no gender and the word "female" is just an alias for "male"?
-- What if bugs could find and fix themselves?
-- What if there's no need for an account password?
-- What if Linux was owned by Microsoft?
-- **What if I could tell my boss that I'm tired of his fucking job without actually telling my boss? This is the actual what if.**

The sinking feeling you get when you have looked forward to working on your project for a week and your gf tells you that the inlaws will wisit on your only free days in 2 weeks.. Please aliens take me awayyyy.

Programmers are aliens on the earth.

Fun fact:

The gradual speed increase in the descent pattern of the aliens in space invaders was actually a bug, due to the amount of aliens in the screen.

The more you kill, the faster they get.

Explain to me why people love Apple so much.

What is a simple task in every other OS ever is a multi step dance on a Mac (or iphones too for that matter). It is a productivity nightmare that makes the whole system feel like it is only meant to be used to watch youtube.

The way the keyboard works feels like it was designed by aliens.

Browsing the system with Finder is an absolute pretzel nightmare. No moving files. Copy, paste, then delete is as good as you're going to get. No way to type the path to go straight to it. You will do things the slowest way possible and be happy while doing it.

Want to quickly create a blank file in the current folder? Oh what's that? You thought the right click menu was going to help you like every other OS? Apple laughs in your face for such arrogance.

every new smartphone these days seems to be like one of those scify movie aliens with weird eyes (dual camera lenses) .
I mean, pixel phones clearly shows that having a top-notch software for single camera is already at par with dual cam setups .

And yet huawei is slaying them all .
New huawei flagship phone : awesome specs , ai beautify , blah blah lens , blah blah block chain 16 mp AND "2MP " dual camera setup .

they are like yeah surely we give them dual cameras, but why bother because no one will read after the word "DUAL"

xD

I just watched "Venom" in 3D.
That was awesome. I also loved the "Parasite" manga and anime reference. Plus, they made the labours and weapons of the aliens look like those from the game "Prototype" 1 and 2.
Would really watch the future movies of Venom and recommend everyone who did not watch this movie to watch it. It is a masterpiece.

What is the probability of alien rootkit signal that would be intercepted by satellite and then executed on modern computers to create AGI that can use cloud computing and digital currency to take over our world ?

From my perspective pretty high 🤣🤣🤣

Let’s convince some government people and create intergalactic cyber attack defense institution, that would keep earth safe from alien invasion, with high money grants so we can prevent those threats.

Maybe Ernest Cline Armada is already a thing.

What you think ?

searching on how to do something on your project. a couple of hours later, you ended up watching on how the universe was born and theories of aliens .. #researchGoneTooFar

Working on a project to create a space Invaders clone using Android studio/java. Point is to prove teamwork and our ability to optimise for a phone.

Leader makes the engine
Passes code to me who is doing gameplay.
Creating classes, testing them with a temporary activity class to get them on screen.
Okay, time to get it going properly.
Starts creating the game by placing aliens to the screen via the new alien manager, created in the true starting place.
Nothing appears on screen, sounds still play.
Odd. Repeatedly try to fix, but objects will not appear on the screen if created outside of temporary activity.
Show problem to leader as I haven't been able to figure out.
Gets lectured to no end about how I can't just ask him for help (first fucking time) if I get stuck!!!
Turns out, the value for frame time is way off for the first frame, and their positions get going way off the screens range when being placed. Temp activity works as it skips first frame.
Why did this happen? Genius leader didn't properly initialise it, so first frame time was equal to the First Date Object time ever locked - current time 🤔🤔🤔
We figured it out together.

If someone ask about why i put/create this kind of code. The only answer is "The Aliens told me to do so"

There's two types of people in this world, those who don't like regex, and magical otherworldly beings, luckily for me, I'm the latter

Hey, listen. If the first thing you have to say to me in the morning is nothing but a whining story of what "terrible" stuff happend again.

SHUT THE FUCK UP 'CAUSE I CARE AS MUCH AS I CAN SEE TWO STUPID ASS-TO-MOUTH FUCKING ALIENS BEYOND THE BORDERS OF THE FUCKING VISIBLE UNIVERSE!

Just saw my teacher clicking 100 times on the arrow button under scroll bar to get to the end of a web page.
Aliens Confirmed

It would really, really suck if we're alone in the universe. Like, I can't think of something that would suck more.
I hope aliens exist.

Image Voyager with it's golden record is found _now_.

How disappointed would an alien race intelligent enough to decode and understand the pictures on there (which - imo - show us as civilized as possible) be, coming here and find us just waiting do die because of shit we did by ourselves.

Hard to imagine an extraterrestrial race is in any way like us, but it's even harder to imagine them coming to us, maybe even hoping for peace, because they live through the same shit as we do - just to find more shit.

They didn't include war, poverty, disease, crime, ideology, and most important: religion in the pictures on the record. stuff that essentially made us who we are today but at the same time show us at our worst.
we know what's shit about our behaviour and we don't want to show it to aliens but we don't change them at all.

wtf

The Pythagorean theorem is pretty important. You should be able to represent it graphically because it shows that you are a thinking creature to the point of math.

Works also if you have no other common basis for communication, not even mimics. That might well save you from a live autopsy in case you get abducted by aliens because it would make them curious.

one day aliens will study the ruins of our civilization and fail to understand the purpose of spreadsheets. either that or they'll know more than we do now

UFOs are causing pollution in the environment. Thus, aliens are also responsible for global warming. We need to raise this issue. Clearly, aliens don't respect human life.

!dev

what kind of fucking sorcery is C cord of guitar, how the fuck is it humanly possible to hold those cords , fucking aliens !!

It took me 4 hours for coding C note function in stm32 discovery board and playing it on speaker using a DAC

i am 3 day in guitar can’t play a single note properly, fuck 🤬 !!!! My wrist hurts my fingers hurts.

There was a rare footage of aliens using java to fly their ufo, well then i guess thats why android was built on top of java

So. is it possible you fucking freaks could NOT mess up national geographic like you did the history channel ? in fact can we just murder anyone who watches ancient aliens or ever produced a single episode of forged in fire ? or any of this other stupid uninformative bullshit where they use sound effects and cast ruined creatures pretending to be normal and/or decent people ? thanks. this is why we're stuck you know. because you people can't be allowed to completely replace a culture with your bullshit or the world will never recover. civilization will in fact end.

Some people like to spring clean, rearrange their house, wash their car, build shelves, or some other chore.

Me? I just spent a couple or so days manually "syncing" the packages on my 2 laptops. That is, making sure that `apt-mark showmanual` and `dpkg-query -l` shows the exact same output on both of them, by manually apt-marking / apt-get installing / removing the exact same set of packages as manual/auto and ensuring the exact same set of "recommended" / "suggested" packages are pulled as dependencies on both.

The end result is a sysad's ideal - I have wasted countless hours making sure absolutely nothing has changed. But hey, my package list is clean, and if aliens from a software dimension abducted one laptop... I have an exact clone ready.

Transference of Consciousness
We take ideas or concepts born from abstract thoughts and turn them into working machinery run by an electronic cog. Literally pulling thought from the mind and putting it into action and bringing life into inanimate objects. The life may not 'yet' be self aware or conscious itself. So is programming a desire to impart our will or life to an otherwise inert object? Is this desire intrinsic to our own essence? Was this desire born of the desire our own creator had when making us? I use the term creator very loosely here, btw. It could be a god, the universe itself, aliens, etc.

First day at the new building during my Monday hospital IT job. My boss went on about opening portals in time, aliens, all kinds of shit, then I get a call, "hey, we need help carrying a body to the morgue, get up here", turns out i'm lookout and forward-runner (lookout to keep patients away from the room during cart loadup, forward runner for doors)

I hate Mondays...

You know I'm looking around a t a museum of 3d graphics programming right now.

Not my first time but the same arcade machines are playing the same tooons over and over again in an eerie way and strange;y thertes a basketball game up there on several large screen tvs too...

I remember my first detailed look at opengl.

For some reason it just never worked for me.
But I see all these incredible sources of past fortune sitting unplayed, and think.. wow... what a waste.

these brought me many hours of joy and gave me an opportunity or so I thought to try to make friends and meet other teens when I was younger.

They represent countless hours of lovingly crafted mind-crack, and noone smokes them anymore.

Aliens armaggedon sits right in front of me, holstered faux guns glowing in red alluringly.

the huge box of unclaimed mooks and stuffed sheep sit there sadly robotic arms that can never reach them just hanging rusting, unloved by a new generation to curse them for never grasping anything and stealing their quarters and a HUGE 96 inch or more screen for Tomb Raider, FUCKING TOMB RAIDER hums in a corner just slightly out of my full view.

and noone is here. why ?
and yet the gaming industry supposedly continued to thrive.

in a way arcades were better they kept people from being addicted to wowcrack.

just like raising gasoline prices would prompt the creation of cleaner more efficient mass transit.

Unsealed: Alien files....great for my code 👽 #wakatime

never thought i'd live around twice to see richard nixon get humped up the butt by aliens. 'please no not that !' heh

I was watching an Ancient Aliens episode called "Beyond Roswell". The show described the idea of some of our tech being seeded slowly by introducing alien technology to specific companies. They suggested that computing technology has advanced very fast and introducing this tech could be part of that.

At first I was kinda pissed about this. I have read about the creation of the first transistor back in the 40s or 50s. WWII really advanced our need for computing devices such as what Turing built. Then I realized a lot of the explosion of computer tech did occur after key ET events. This kind of made me wonder how much is "us" and how much is ET tech. I also realized it can take a lot of effort to understand something really advanced. So reverse engineering can take a LOT of effort to figure these things out. Being seeded by external tech does not take away from humans at all.

A parallel to this is a programmer that learns how to use a C++ compiler. They could go their whole career without ever understanding how the compiler itself is doing its job. I find myself wanting to learn how compilers work and started down this path. I look at the simple grammar I have learned to parse. Then I look at the C++ grammar and think "How can I ever learn to do that?" So I see us viewing potentially advanced things and wondering how the heck can we ever learn to do that. The common reaction when faced with such tech would be disbelief and in some cases ridiculing the messenger. When I was a kid the idea of sending a picture over a phone was laughable. Now this is common and expected. It was literally a scifi concept when I was a kid.

So, back to the alien tech. I am now thinking it would be cool to be working with alien technology through computing. This is like scifi stuff now! So what if what we have was not all invented here (Earth). If anything this will prepare us programmers to get jobs working for alien corporations writing ship level programs and brain interfaces. Think of it as intergalactic resume building. 😉