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Once upon a time there was a shepherd looking after his sheep on the side of a deserted road. Suddenly a brand new Porsche screeches to a halt. The driver, a man dressed in an Armani suit, Cerutti shoes, Ray-Ban sunglasses, TAG-Heuer wrist-watch, and a Versace tie, gets out and asks the Shepherd:
Man: “If I can tell you how many sheep you have, will you give me one of them?”
The shepherd looks at the young man, and then looks at the large flock of grazing sheep and replies:
Shepherd: “Okay.”
The young man parks the car, connects his laptop to the mobile-fax, enters a NASA Webster, scans the ground using his GPS, opens a database and 60 Excel tables filled with logarithms and pivot tables, then prints out a 150 page report on his high-tech mini-printer. He turns to the shepherd and says,
Man: “You have exactly 1,586 sheep here.”
The shepherd cheers,
Shepherd: “That’s correct, you can have your sheep.”
The young man makes his pick and puts it in the back of his Porsche. The shepherd looks at him and asks,
Shepherd: “If I guess your profession, will you return my animal to me?”
The young man answers;
Man: “Yes, why not?”
Shepherd: "You are an IT consultant."
Man: “How did you know?”
Shepherd: “Very simple. First, you came here without being called. Second, you charged me a fee to tell me something I already knew, and third, you don’t understand anything about my business…Now can I have my DOG back?"3 -
This actually happend in my secondary school class. A new guy came to our class. The whole family moved from another city.
*new guy want to start conversation with me*
new guy: "So you into computers and stuff like that?"
me: "Yes" *seems like a cool guy , want to develop the conversation further* "what about you man? do you like computers? do yo program or smth?"
*new guy wants to look cool in front of me*
new guy: " Yeah dude, actually I am hacker"
*me saying to myself, oh fuck not again this shit*
he continues with: " Once I got into the NASA system"
*switches mode to making fun of him*
me: "what the fuck man? really? that´s freaking cool, how you manage to do that? "
new guy: " you know the thing when you press F10 when starting a comupter? "
me: "You mean BIOS?"
new guy : "yeah yeah man through that shit"
* I am done, laughing my ass off and walks away*1 -
Once upon a time there was a shepherd looking after his sheep on the side of a deserted road. Suddenly a brand new Porsche screeches to a halt. The driver, a man dressed in an Armani suit, Cerutti shoes, Ray-Ban sunglasses, TAG-Heuer wrist-watch, and a Pierre Cardin tie, gets out and asks the shepherd: "If I can tell you how many sheep you have, will you give me one of them?"
The shepherd looks at the young man, and then looks at the large flock of grazing sheep and replies: "Okay."
The young man parks the car, connects his laptop to the mobile-fax, enters a NASA Webster, scans the ground using his GPS, opens a database and 60 Excel tables filled with logarithms and pivot tables, then prints out a 150 page report on his high-tech mini-printer. He turns to the shepherd and says, "You have exactly 1,586 sheep here."
The shepherd cheers, "That's correct, you can have your sheep." The young man makes his pick and puts it in the back of his Porsche. The shepherd looks at him and asks: "If I guess your profession, will you return my animal to me?"
The young man answers, "Yes, why not?" The shepherd says, "You are an IT consultant."
"How did you know?" asks the young man.
"Very simple," answers the shepherd. "First, you came here without being called. Second, you charged me a fee to tell me something I already knew, and third, you don't understand anything about my business... Now can I have my dog back?"3 -
What are you doing with 2KB of ram?
1969: NASA - "We just put some guys on the moon and got them back to Earth safely."
2018: Me - "I'm just struggling to run a 10 line Java program that prints the answer to an addition problem to the console."17 -
!rant
Anonymous claiming in their youtube video that NASA is about to announce the discovery of intelligent alien life.
I would be more astonished if they found intelligent life here on earth.10 -
LOL this was actually a true story, it seems she had to delete her twitter account and make a new one! 😂😂😂
9 -
>>> print(whoSaid("OlderFriend"))
About 20ish years ago I was working in IT, and it was about around this time where CD-Roms were hitting the stores and becoming the newest craze. However, Microsoft did not write the drivers correctly for this new hardware.
In a nutshell, the driver would be installed and the user would lose the sound to their speaker.
How did this happen? By altering the way the interrupts worked on the computer. At the time there only existed a few unreserved IRQs or Interrupt ReQuests. The installer package would redirect IRQ 5 which is "User Selectable (Sound Cards)" to work with the CD-Rom. This was fine and all unless you wanted to listen to your speakers.
I had come up with a clever hack through rewriting a config file that would be run during bootup. So at the time of boot up IRQ 5 would be dedicated to the sound card, and IRQ7 (which was usually for the Lpt1 Printer) would be dedicated to the CD-Rom. This worked.
And because I was IT at the time, I would get a lot of calls for fixing this problem.
So, as you can imagine, I've gotten **really** good at doing this. I didn't even need to be at a computer to walk someone through the problem.
I receive a call one day, it was a problem with the CD-Rom and sound card. I walk him through the problem and he reboots his computer. I could hear him on the other side jumping with joy when he was able to put in his music CD and hear sound coming from the speakers.
He asks me, how in the hell did you figure this out!? You're a fucking Genius!
And I said, It's not rocket science it's just a computer.
There was a long pause of silence.
Uhhh... Hello? Did I say something wrong?
Sir, I work at NASA I deal with Rocket Science on a daily basis.
5 -
Since yesterday, I have become a Computer Science student! 🎉
I just have to be careful not to cause something like the NASA internship girl. 😁6 -
1. No more coding on paper! Why can some already write essays on laptops but programmers are stuck with "analog"?
2. No vendor lock-ins! Teach free, cross-platform development, not VB.NET.
3. No more professors stuck in the eighties! If all you know is 6800 assembly, GTFO. I heard NASA was hiring...
4. Enforce code style consistency, proper documentation and even VCS for larger projects
5. Algorithms -> scripting -> programming. Don't quickly explain the basics, then throw students straight into Java.10 -
(Senior level engineering course and our professor used to work for NASA. This can lead to some fun anecdotes during class.)
Professor: “Because the ends have such a small surface area, you can neglect them in your calculations.”
Student: "What would NASA do?"
Professor: *without missing a beat* “They'd probably use the wrong units and crash into Mars."2 -
Why it is hard for general public to believe this is fake;
Nasa had performed an experiment in which they got this result an internal network 😂😂😂;
For God sake please don't try seeding torrents on NASA'S internal network 😂😂😂😂;
3 -
!rant
NASA using Node.js to build a mission control framework. I just hope they don't get discouraged by the haters 😃
https://nasa.github.io/openmct/8 -
Making a Package Manager from Scratch is hard.
Making a Scratch-like education coding software in XAML is hard.
Setting up a server with zero knowledge is hard.
Creating a new file extension for my project and making it work is hard.
But, as a student,
studying and coding is the hardest thing.
Same 24 hours for everyone, and I should code as well as study.
Time.
The most precious thing in Earth.
==========================================
NASA dislikes this rant.
clean_air_rocks dislikes this rant.
no_suicide dislikes this rant.
students_who_study_and_code_and_wants_to_do_everything loves this rant.3 -
Programmers then:
No problem NASA mate, we can use these microcontrollers to bring men to the moon no problem!
Programmers now:
Help Stack Overflow, my program is kill.. isn't 90GB (looking at you Evolution) and 400GB of virtual memory (looking at you Gitea) for my app completely normal? I thought that unused memory was wasted memory!1!
(400GB in physical memory is something you only find in the most high-end servers btw)9 -
So... I've seen my dad talking a lot about quantum computers, and it's getting quite embarrassing to be there when he talks about them. He doesn't understand shit about them, except that they somehow use quantum mechanics for something.
Last week my uncle from Spain visited us. He's a Cristian pastor, and a cool guy, so they always talk about god and similar themes. We gathered the family to have a dinner with my uncle as he only was going to be one day with us. This is how part of the dinner went by:
" so, <Uncle's name>, have you heard about quantum computers?"
me thinking:*Oh my God. Please not again... *
"The nasa, the US government and all kinds of powerful entities are getting the quantum computer."
He always talks about THE quantum computer as if it was just one big machine.
"They have found that multiple universes exist through it. If this is what they are telling us, imagine how far they've gone. Remember that technology is always 8 years ahead of actual public technology."
Me:*please dad, stop. Who the fuck is made that claim and how many fucking years ago?*
"Did you know that many people remember that Mandela died in prison, while in the oficial version, he died after it? They must be messing with multiple universes, or multiple timelines are getting intertwined."
Me: *please, not the mandela effect again*
Then my dad procceded to talk about multiverses and how THE quantum computer was the future and about some parts of the Bible that supported it. Bizarre, I know.
When we are alone, I always try to tell him how things actually work but he always twists my claims to support his. Last time I told him that the mandela effect was perfectly explainable by psychological phenomena around forgotten memories. But this is going to far... Fuck the guys that made zeitgeist. Fuck Alex Jones. Fuck random youtube conspiracy channels. They make technology look like fucking magic for muggles.10 -
-HTML IS NOT A LANGUAGE
Plot Twist:
Nasa writes how the first rocket was entirely coded in HTML...
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
(only a joke. YK)39 -
Mate - whatcha doing ...
Me - oh just hacking nasa
Mate - seriously!? 😯😨
Me - OOOOh yeah I do it all the time see (shows similar photo)
Mate - don't hack me 😭
Me (in head) - you poor dumb fuck...
Me irl - I won't if you don't piss me off 😏
9 -
When I was younger (about six) I wanted to hack into NASA and release all their files on aliens and UFO's to the world so they would know the truth 🌎👽5
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Well my friend today showed me his new awesome locker on android aka "NASA terminal" well i said what if i can make a path to your phone without knowing your passwd and i will be in your phone he said impossible ok after i booted in safe mode showed resoult.
Whatt??????? How ????5 -
Maybe it's old and well known, but somebody asked, so here it goes:
A shepherd is quietly grazing his sheep on the fresh village pastures.
Suddenly a shiny new car stops by. A cool guy, very well dressed hops out and asks him: "Good man, If I guess exactly how many sheep you have, can I win one?"
The shepherd, puzzled, accepts.
The cool guy, opens his laptop, download a satellite picture of the area, run a NASA algorithm for image recognition and in few seconds answers "you have 1342 sheep"
"Wooow" says the shepherd "you won, take one"
The cool guy is about to live when the shepherd approaches him:
"Ehi, Young man, I bet all my flock against your car that I can guess what is your job"
The cool guy, (he likes to bet after all) accepts.
"You are a consultant" says the shepherd.
"WTF! how did you even..."
"Well, easy" says the shepherd "you came out of nowhere, well dressed and smart looking, you answered a question nobody asked you, you told me something I already knew, you want to be payed for that and in addition, you don't understand shit about my business."
"Now", adds quietly the shepherd "please, give me back my dog"
(for @LOLjustCoding)2 -
If you know Fortran and are familiar with fluid dynamics, NASA has a challenge out for people to optimize some of their Fortran code.10
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NASA’s Mars 2020 rover is heading to the red planet and they are giving a chance to send your names with it, yet another time. → https://mars.nasa.gov/participate/...
15 -
They think I'm a NASA scientist...
Yeah I mess with some data from curiosity, but I wouldn't say I'm a NASA scientist.3 -
Just declined a small internship to work at NASA because I feel like I’m too introverted and incapable of doing it (knowledge wise).
It was a unexpected offer in person and I wasn’t prepared for it, so instead of saying “I’ll let you know” I outright declined it.
Feeling extraordinarily defeated over my answer. Any hope of recovering from the situation? It might seem like a simple task to call the guy and let him know I changed my mind, but the thought of doing so seems extremely scary for me.
As a side note, he is a family “friend” and a customer of the business I currently work at (where he offered it to me) (unrelated field of work)11 -
Everytime you see a newbie developer, please tell him to stop making jokes on hacking nasa with html6
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Do you guys often get upset because of people that ask your job because when somebody asks me what I do for a living and I say "I'm a programmer" this someone says one of these:
1- Oh really, can you tell me HoW tO HaCk NaSa? (It's more often than you think)
2- WOW AWESOME SO I HAVE THIS BiLlIon DolLarS ApP IdeA CaN yOu ProGraM iT?
3- Hm... and... what do you do for a living? (Apparently programming is not a job)
4- Cool! Me too! Bcs once I MaDe ThiS GaMe I prOGraMmed WiTh GaMeMaKer (true story, and it was a flappy bird, but in the place of the bird it was chuck norris with a moustache instead.)(with lasers.)(Also it wasn't really working.)
5- Cool bro, so, can you take a look at my printer?
6- Hm nice * looks away with disgusting face * (that was my own family lol ;-;)9 -
Humility... NASA discovered a star that has a strange drop in light level periodically. To the tune of 20%. NASA also determined that this was not due to a planet or naturally occurring body (Not sure how they determine that, but a lot of smart people work at NASA. So I am going with it for this discussion.) They have theorized that this object is evidence of a type 2 civilization mega structure, perhaps a Dyson sphere. The time it takes the light to get to us from this star is ~2000 years. So that civilization "had" a mega structure with the capability to harness the power of a star 2000 years ago. What are they doing now? Humbling, amazing, exciting, I hope we get to talk to them! (Also hoping they don't kill us all.) Really, I just want to see how fast their computers are. Yes, selfish wish.19
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I had an after work meeting, i was supposed to take it from home, i got busy trying on my new dresses and totally forgot 😱😂
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Hi (sory for my bed emglish)
I'we just make a website to hack NASA and stead them souce code. Chec it out:
http://localhost:808014 -
I'd really fucking love if somebody developed a browser plugin which puts a red fucking glowing banner over every website which sends data to PRISM.
Users deserve to know what cunty sell-out crapsites they visit.13 -
I have a 16 year old son who is off-and-on showing interest in learning electronics. He wants to work for NASA someday. I’ve looked at dozens of Arduino and Raspberry Pi kits but I feel like he would benefit not so much from “mostly done for him” types of kits that are more like toys, but the kind that teach more fundamentals like resistors, capacitors, transistors, relays, etc. In other words, knowing first what the principles are behind the fancier kits. Do any of you have a recommendation of kits that start with the fundamentals, but that can still be inspiring and engaging?13
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Those of you who like "The Imitation Game", you probably want to check out "Hidden Figures" (2016). It's on Netflix now.
About a team of female African-American mathematicians who wanted to "break the glass ceiling" in NASA.
- Dorothy : conquered the (recently acquired) IBM frameworks using Fortran and taught her team to program it
- Mary : appealed to court to be allowed to study in a all-white school to get her qualification to be an aerospace engineer
- Katherine : her skills in analytical geometry enabled her to be the first female African-American in the Space Task Group in calculating the momentous capsule launch into orbit
My lazy ass just can't fathom how someone who deals with so much math and pressure can still smile to their family after work. My grumpiness nature will surely turn me into a monster.
And now I know what "human computers" means.5 -
How awesome is that! NASA's Mars rover software is available on Github: https://github.com/nasa-jpl/.... Also impressive: Github uses WebGL to render 3D previews of STL files! https://github.com/nasa-jpl/....
21st century, baby!6 -
It's embarassing and you guys will find it either rude or annoying but I have readied myself and here goes my confession;
Whenever I see the abbreviation for Command line interface I cringe. You know because cli ? And I read it in my head as 'Kli' which is like the shortened form of a female part ?
I can't just read it as "See, el, ai" or think 'Command line interface' directly.
My brain's first thought is it must be an acronym so you should read it like how you would read NASA which is also an acronym and not like 'cmd' which is not an acronym but just an abbreviation.
Thus whenever I see it I feel a mixture of embarassment, self-loathing and physical discomfort.
I wonder how can I not be embarassed and cringing whenever I see Something-CLI.
I just noticed when it's in uppercase I don't cringe as much. I should code a chrome extension to change all CLI abbreviations to upper case.13 -
Not a dev!rant,/but certainly a rant. Long post ahead.
First of all I MISSED YOU ALL
Had my fair issues of shit these months. And for that, FUCK EVERYTHING. End of rant for now. I am still managing somehow to do - slowly as fuck, but who cares at this point - like finally going to uni, finding a psychologist and not a psycho, unraveling a fuckton of previous trauma (hi abuse) and ~drums~ buying my new desktop! Not exactly a nasa server but a middish level workstation/gaming place. I am shopping right now. The previous days have been shaky with all the flashback business and emotional rollercoaster of death, but I feel like going the right way somehow. Is it true? Who knows! But after enduring several issues of suicide planning and luckily only one serious-bugged attempt epically hilariously failed, the slightest hope is a victory. I like p2p, so feel free to torrent and seed this little joy. If it is mine it can be yours. Take it!
Also, you know how much autistic I am, but I'd really like to make some friends. I make attempts but honestly I am awkward errrr.... I don't know how many dude/ttes I can count on. For friend I mean simply someone that honestly likes me somehow, is loyal, and has interest in sharing they like to do or think! (And if they want to give me tips on security/sysadmin/dev stuff, even better, but not required obviously).
Also, I may have some projects in mind. Will publish in the projects section when the roughest idea is finished.
Maybe I deserve an updoot. In real life.
(Which is also here....)
🎶🎶🎶🎶3 -
Have you ever flown a plane? No? Well I need you to get in the lab today and test out these high level requirements, you should pick up on it pretty fast....
The lab looks like NASA flight control and has everything a cockpit has, sure I can just jump right on it and do my thing.
This should be fun 😅2 -
How the fuck do you do port forwarding on your Rasberry Pi without having to hack the NASA or subscribe to some obscure websites??? God fucking damn useless websites that can't agree on a fucking point9
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That automation thing with NASA I was ranting about yesterday finally worked. Granted, they posted a pic today instead of a video.
So, assuming it's a true Pic of the Day, my wallpaper gets updated at 4 AM. Maybe they saw my rant? haha
5 -
YOU FUCKING FUCK APPLE GET YOUR FUCKING SHIT TOGETHER DAMN IT!
Left work 4 hours ago and guess what fucking ipa file did not get uploaded to app store, why? no one fucking knows! I admit 4Mbit speed isn't fast but if a tiny interruption happens to the mac's connection apploader will simply drop the upload!
I don't understand NASA was able to reach Mars and Apple fails to make a fucking decent file uploader !!!!
Now I will be going to waste two fucking hours tomorrow morning for the fucking file to be uploaded! -
A client brought us a project once related to drones. Our team came up with a great solution for the problem and pitched it back to the client. After going back and forth and beating us up on the price, they ultimately got cold feet and stopped responding to us.
Flash forward several months and wouldn't you know it, NASA and Lockhead Martin have the same idea and file the patent. Could have been sitting pretty if the client just went through and filed our design first which would have barely cost anything.2 -
There are only 10 types of people in the world:
Those that understand binary and those that don't.1 -
Someone on WhatsApp asked me did I like the new update or not ?
Well here is what I replied,
WHAT THE FUCK ?! NOOooo ! already there is Snapchat whose USP is this feature, Snapchat is Snapchat, then they introduced this feature on Instagram that's ok...but WhatsApp should be WhatsApp.
ALL I WANTED IS A SIMPLE PLAIN MESSAGING APP, THAT'S IT !
Now it's wasting my time more, earlier I just used to see Instagram & Snapchat stories in my free time BUT now !? I will see these fucking stories again here on WhatsApp too... BECAUSE I can't help it, it's in our human mind psychology too, we are curious beings, we are somehow bound to open that Status Tab when we will see a green dot ! If it's not true SEE THE NEWS ! NASA just found a whole new Solar System just ~40 light years away ! YES we are curious, we explore, we invent things.
I hope they will roll it back, but NO the ugly truth my friend is people will rant about and forget, and we will end up using it too, hate this seriously ! for instance the new iPhones have no 3.5mm audio jack, WTF ?! well say goodbye to my favourite ear buds ! and buy these FUCKING NEW Monstrously over priced bound-to-buy pair of earbuds if you need high quality audio out.
AND are we bound to be slaves and continue using these features because everyone else is doing so ? NO ! I will use whatever I like the most, I will go back to the roots, may be use those old school IMs and may be ask others to join it.6 -
You think you are fucked until you realize that Matt Daemon is lost in mars with win xp.damn you nasa, you cheap bastards! (photo taken by me during the film) no spoilers please, i haven't finished it yet
1 -
So I was reading some info and watching videos about the D-Line/NASA/Google quantum computer. I understand why this thing was built but how the heck do you program something like that?
Anyone concerned that having such a powerful computer coupled with AI is slightly nerve wrenching?14 -
Really cool website letting you re-live the first moon landing of Apollo 11 which happened exactly 50 years ago - https://apolloinrealtime.org/11/
#nasa2 -
So my first rant is about my current job. I got out of college after a year doing basic research on a SBIR/NASA grant. Nothing too interesting but great entry-level experience on sub-sustenance wages based on the cost of living in 1971.. And finally got that great offer to work with an IoT company for a living wage, with a chance to really flex my hard earned skills, and maybe even the ability to afford medical insurance while paying my rent on time!
They said 'network & software engineering', but my only projects are graphic design for sales copy with a guy who thinks FourSquare is a website hosting service.
They said 'full time', but in reality it isn't.
They said $50k a year, but apparently their mouths wrote a check that they don't have bank to cash.
The guy who approves my projects is taking a vacation because of the coronavirus panic and now I won't get paid for a week.
They seem like nice folks, but also a bit irresponsible and it looks like I fell for a bait-and-switch.
Now I'm trying to find a way of spinning off this experience into something that doesn't look like a lame free-lance graphic design gig while looking for better paying work.
if (!ethical) { alert("fml"); }4 -
I know I'm gonna get flak for mentioning Facebook. But to mark the launch tomorrow and our progression to a mission to Mars, I made an automated NodeJS script.
The script gets the most recent collection of photos taken by the Curiosity rover via NASA's API and chooses one at random. The image is then posted to a Facebook page for a nice little update on what the lil Mars homie is up to.
Since it's image based, I'll work on adding it to Instagram too.4 -
Set up a chron job to backup my movies server.
copying 100-200 GB from a slow HDD to a slower HDD on a CPU that isn't exactly NASA material if you catch my drift.
I expected it to take a while but holy fuck, 45 minutes.
At least the archive finished at just 80GB.9 -
I can't get over the fact that Stephen Hawking passed away
"...may you keep flying like superman in microgravity..."
https://twitter.com/NASA/status/...1 -
I'm taking part in my first hackerthon tomorrow. Both excited and nervous... Any advice? Do's and Dont's?3
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any time i come up with a cleaver solution to a problem I remember my cousin who works for nasa and i mope about how I've waisted my life and nothing i do matters.5
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I'd love to work for NASA or Space X and be one of the first to colonize mars. Should that not work out, I also really want to work for Google and do some freelance work on the side maybe. And all of that is only true if by then I haven't created the next big tech thing.
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My favourite laptop sticker has to be GatsbyJS's Watson floating around - Other favourites are my Nasa sticker and the stickermule donkey pixel art 😁
I am not going to lie and say my laptop hardshell looks great with the stickers as I stuck them on as I went along so it's all over the place 🤷♂️
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hey, someone mentioned nasa today or whatever. got me curious. if you happen to catch this, the falcon launch happens in 16 minutes. nasa.gov2
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I wanted to get the latest NASA APOD photo with Python. Easy, right? Nope! Firstly, their RSS feed is partly HTML, so feedparser doesn't understand it. Secondly, feedparser doesn't even get the titles of entries correctly.
Which is why I'm trying to parse it in a horrible way using Python regexp. NASA can put humans on Luna but not even get their RSS feeds to parse properly.2 -
An example-driven overview of the jq command using NASA NeoWs API
https://monades.roperzh.com/weekly-... -
Ever tried to tell this guy his ancestors built pyramids, invented vigesimal zero, calculated eclipse frequency, year duration, etc, 2000 or 3000 years before USA and NASA existed?
4 -
That is how you will look after a 100 year when you take a photo with your cool electronic devices looool
1
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