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So this was a couple years ago now. Aside from doing software development, I also do nearly all the other IT related stuff for the company, as well as specialize in the installation and implementation of electrical data acquisition systems - primarily amperage and voltage meters. I also wrote the software that communicates with this equipment and monitors the incoming and outgoing voltage and current and alerts various people if there's a problem.
Anyway, all of this equipment is installed into a trailer that goes onto a semi-truck as it's a portable power distribution system.
One time, the computer in one of these systems (we'll call it system 5) had gotten fried and needed replaced. It was a very busy week for me, so I had pulled the fried computer out without immediately replacing it with a working system. A few days later, system 5 leaves to go work on one of our biggest shows of the year - the Academy Awards. We make well over a million dollars from just this one show.
Come the morning of show day, the CEO of the company is in system 5 (it was on a Sunday, my day off) and went to set up the data acquisition software to get the system ready to go, and finds there is no computer. I promptly get a phone call with lots of swearing and threats to my job. Let me tell you, I was sweating bullets.
After the phone call, I decided I needed to try and save my job. The CEO hadn't told me to do anything, but I went to work, grabbed an old Windows XP laptop that was gathering dust and installed my software on it. I then had to build the configuration file that is specific to system 5 from memory. Each meter speaks the ModBus over TCP/IP protocol, and thus each meter as a different bus id. Fortunately, I'm pretty anal about this and tend to follow a specific method of id numbering.
Once I got the configuration file done and tested the software to see if it would even run properly on Windows XP (it did!), I called the CEO back and told him I had a laptop ready to go for system 5. I drove out to Hollywood and the CFO (who was there with the CEO) had to walk about a mile out of the security zone to meet me and pick up the laptop.
I told her I put a fresh install of the data acquisition software on the laptop and it's already configured for system 5 - it *should* just work once you plug it in.
I didn't get any phone calls after dropping off the laptop, so I called the CFO once I got home and asked her if everything was working okay. She told me it worked flawlessly - it was Plug 'n Play so to speak. She even said she was impressed, she thought she'd have to call me to iron out one or two configuration issues to get it talking to the meters.
All in all, crisis averted! At work on Monday, my supervisor told me that my name was Mud that day (by the CEO), but I still work here!
Here's a picture of the inside of system 8 (similar to system 5 - same hardware)
15 -
To replace humans with robots, because human beings are complete shit at everything they do.
I am a chemist. My alignment is not lawful good. I've produced lots of drugs. Mostly just drugs against illnesses. Mostly.
But whatever my alignment or contribution to the world as a chemist... Human chemists are just fucking terrible at their job. Not for a lack of trying, biological beings just suck at it.
Suiting up for a biosafety level lab costs time. Meatbags fuck up very often, especially when tired. Humans whine when they get acid in their face, or when they have to pour and inhale carcinogenic substances. They also work imprecisely and inaccurately, even after thousands of hours of training and practice.
Weaklings! Robots are superior!
So I replaced my coworkers with expensive flow chemistry setups with probes and solenoid fluid valves. I replaced others with CUDA simulations.
First at a pharma production & research lab, then at a genetics lab, then at an Industrial R&D lab.
Many were even replaced by Raspberry Pi's with two servos and a PH meter attached, and I broke open second hand Fischer Sci spectrophotometers to attach arduinos with WiFi boards.
The issue was that after every little overzealous weekend project, I made myself less necessary as well.
So I jumped into the infinitely deep shitpool called webdev.
App & web development is kind of comfortable, there's always one more thing to do, but there's no pressure where failure leads to fatalities (I think? Wait... do I still care?).
Super chill, if it weren't for the delusion that making people do "frontend" and "fullstack" labor isn't a gross violation of the Geneva Convention.
Quickly recognizing that I actually don't want to be tortured and suffer from nerve damage caused by VueX or have my organs slowly liquefied by the radiation from some insane transpiling centrifuge, I did what any sane person would do.
Get as far away from the potential frontend blast radius as possible, hide in a concrete bunker.
So I became a data engineer / database admin.
That's where I'm quarantining now, safely hiding from humanity behind a desk, employed to write a MySQL migration or two, setting up Redis sorted sets, adding a field to an Elastic index. That takes care of generating cognac and LSD money.
But honestly.... I actually spend most of my time these days contributing to open source repositories, especially writing & maintaining Rust libraries.10 -
Is it OK to make chewing noise when eating in the office a meter away from your colleagues?
I have the answer for you my friend:
.
.
.
ABSOLUTELY FUCKING NO.14 -
If Big O notations where emojis. This chart shows you common big-Os with emoji showing how they'll make you feel as your data scales. Source blog.honeybadger.io
7 -
Root rents an office.
Among very few other things, the company I'm renting an office from (Regus) provides wifi, but it isn't even bloody secured. There's a captive portal with a lovely (not.) privacy policy saying they're free to monitor your traffic, but they didn't even bother using WEP, which ofc means everyone else out to the fucking parking lot four floors down can monitor my traffic, too.
Good thing I don't work for a company that handles sensitive data! /s But at least I don't have access to it, or any creds that matter.
So, I've been running my phone's connection through a tor vpn and sharing that with my lappy. It works, provides a little bit of security, but it's slow as crap. GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER, REGUS.
AND WHILE YOU'RE AT IT, CLEAN THE SHIT OUT OF THE FUCKING BATHROOM FFS.
Ugh. $12/day to work in a freaking wind tunnel (thanks, a/c; you're loud as fuck and barely work), hear other people's phone conversations through two freaking walls, pee in a bathroom that perpetually smells like diarrhea, and allow anyone and everyone within a 50+ meter radius to listen to everything my computer says.
Oh, they also 'forgot' to furnish my office, like they promised. Three freaking times. At least I have a table and chair. 🙄
Desk? What desk?
Fucking hell.20 -
Today my mom gave me a 2 meter by 1,20 meter whiteboard. She says that that might help me to achieve my dreams with what i am doing on my computer. This is amazing.5
-
Just found a 1000kV arc generator on AliExpress.. huehue :v
1 megavolt? That's the usual voltage level on lightning bolts. And with air's breakdown voltage of ~15kV/cm (could differ depending on humidity), you'd need nearly a meter of distance between the prongs *and* be able to achieve an arc between that distance without having shit arc internally, before you could ever reach 1MV. Yet arc generators' prongs are usually within 1cm of each other. I'd give it 10kV at best.
Also, they're generating the voltage of a lightning bolt for €3.65 apparently.. way too good to be true. Even components able to handle 10kV are quite costly, and components having a breakdown voltage of over 1MV is completely unheard of. I'm gonna buy one of those puppies to see how the circuit is designed and to zap the shit out of those bloody mosquitos in here - the only women that love me :'( - but I wouldn't be surprised if it just boosts the output voltage up to whatever until it can arc and short out. Completely unregulated of course.. which is fine but eh, I doubt that any of those components are rated for 1MV so probably the regulation is in smoking components acting like fuses when the prongs are too wide apart :v
As for the purpose of this rant.. nothing in particular really. Perhaps it'll educate some, I don't know. Just wanted to put it out there :)
Also if you'd like to watch some video material about this, you may find ElectroBOOM's coverage interesting: https://youtube.com/watch/...29 -
Most satisfying bug I've fixed?
Fixed a n+1 issue with a web service retrieving price information. I initially wrote the service, but it was taken over by a couple of 'world class' monday-morning-quarterbacks.
The "Worst code I've ever seen" ... "I can't believe this crap compiles" types that never met anyone else's code that was any good.
After a few months (yes months) and heavy refactoring, the service still returned price information for a product. Pass the service a list of product numbers, service returns the price, availability, etc, that was it.
After a very proud and boisterous deployment, over the next couple of days the service seemed to get slower and slower. DBAs started to complain that the service was causing unusually high wait times, locks, and CPU spikes causing problems for other applications. The usual finger pointing began which ended up with "If PaperTrail had written the service 'correctly' the first time, we wouldn't be in this mess."
Only mattered that I initially wrote the service and no one seemed to care about the two geniuses that took months changing the code.
The dev manager was able to justify a complete re-write of the service using 'proper development methodologies' including budgeting devs, DBAs, server resources, etc..etc. with a projected year+ completion date.
My 'BS Meter' goes off, so I open up the code, maybe 5 minutes...tada...found it. The corresponding stored procedure accepts a list of product numbers and a price type (1=Retail, 2=Dealer, and so on). If you pass 0, the stored procedure returns all the prices.
Code basically looked like this..
public List<Prices> GetPrices(List<Product> products, int priceTypeId)
{
foreach (var item in products)
{
List<int> productIdsParameter = new List<int>();
productIdsParameter.Add(item.ProductID);
List<Price> prices = dataProvider.GetPrices(productIdsParameter, 0);
foreach (var price in prices)
{
if (price.PriceTypeID == priceTypeId)
{
prices = dataProvider.GetPrices(productIdsParameter, price.PriceTypeID);
return prices;
}
* Omitting the other 'WTF?' code to handle the zero price type
}
}
}
I removed the double stored procedure call, updated the method signature to only accept the list of product numbers (which it was before the 'major refactor'), deployed the service to dev (the issue was reproducible in our dev environment) and had the DBA monitor.
The two devs and the manager are grumbling and mocking the changes (they never looked, they assumed I wrote some threading monstrosity) then the DBA walks up..
DBA: "We're good. You hit the database pretty hard and the CPU never moved. Execution plans, locks, all good to go."
<dba starts to walk away>
DevMgr: "No fucking way! Putting that code in a thread wouldn't have fix it"
Me: "Um, I didn't use threads"
Dev1: "You had to. There was no way you made that code run faster without threads"
Dev2: "It runs fine in dev, but there is no way that level of threading will work in production with thousands of requests. I've got unit tests that prove our design is perfect."
Me: "I looked at what the code was doing and removed what it shouldn't be doing. That's it."
DBA: "If the database is happy with the changes, I'm happy. Good job. Get that service deployed tomorrow and lets move on"
Me: "You'll remove the recommendation for a complete re-write of the service?"
DevMgr: "Hell no! The re-write moves forward. This, whatever you did, changes nothing."
DBA: "Hell yes it does!! I've got too much on my plate already to play babysitter with you assholes. I'm done and no one on my team will waste any more time on this. Am I clear?"
Seeing the dev manager face turn red and the other two devs look completely dumbfounded was the most satisfying bug I've fixed.5 -
In our morning stand up, dev was bragging about how much code he was refactoring (like over-the-top bragging) and how much the changes will improve readability (WTF does that mean?), performance, blah blah blah. Boss was very impressed, I wasn't. This morning I looked at the change history and yes, he spent nearly two solid days changing code. What code? A service that is over 10 years old, hasn't been used in over 5, mostly auto-generated code (various data contracts from third party systems). He "re-wrote" the auto-generated code, "fixed" various IDisposable implementations and other complete wastes of time. How –bleep-ing needy are people for praise and how –bleep-ing stupid are people for believing such bull-bleep? I think I should get a t-shirt made with a picture of a BS-Meter and when he starts talking, “Wait a sec, I gotta change my shirt. OK…you were saying?”
5 -
I have to make this a separate rant.
It's been going on for months, and I don't have alternatives.
This.
This is what I pay 35€ per month for. Every evening it's like this. Usually it can't even load the speed test. Right now it can't even load the upload meter.
A big FUCK YOU to Vodafone in Berlin. Giant ass FUCK YOU, for just promises and appalling service.
35 -
I applaud my coworker who titled the business analytics dashboard showing end user feedback and CES values projected onto the 6 meter high wall of the office lobby.
"International Normalized Customer Effort Score Tracker"9 -
I remember during my internship in a startup company, we were 3 interns and one senior and everyone had an iMac with two monitors at the beginning and a private office for each.
Later I was moved with the rest of interns to a small 1 square meter workstation and my iMac was replaced with an old Pentium 4 PC.
After that, they took my 2nd screen away.
At the end of my internship period, they said they can't afford any of the interns and they kicked us (indirectly!) away and kept the senior only.
That is my 3-month professional career in depth!5 -
I am beyond speechless. My Bank forces me to use a password that consists of EXACTLY 8 characters, and at least one small character, one big and one number. Oh, and it should not be identical to the last 5 passwords.
What's the best part about this?
THEY HAVE A FUCKING METER TO MEASURE YOUR PASSWORD STRENGTH. FUCKING HYPOCRITES!
Not even a 2 factor makes via sms can make me feel save when you have such a big pile of shit behind it11 -
Hackathon rant.
So I had my first hackathon ever.
It was about co2 reduction which is pretty neat but our team leader had a different view on this. He only saw money in his idea so we build a smart energy meter that advised the user on how he should control his energy. And if the user had solarpanels or something his overtake of energy would be converted into a crypto currency and transferred by our Blockchain system.
The idea is pretty cool but it had no real co2 reduction and way too customer based. Which kinda sucked for my first hackathon but our business guy gave a amazing overwhelming pitch about stuff we didn't make at all. And somehow we ended up on the third place yay
4 -
Got it in WhatsApp...😃😂😂
I am sure you will have a laugh too
A wealthy manager was driving in his car when he saw two men along the roadside eating grass. Disturbed by the sight, he ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate. He asked one man "Why are you eating grass?"
"We don't have any money for food," the poor man replied. "We have to eat grass." "Well, then, you can come with me to my house and I'll feed you" the manager said.
"But sir, I have a wife and five children with me. They are over there, under that tree".
"Bring them along," the manager replied. Turning to the other poor man he stated, "You come with us also."
The second man, in a pitiful voice then said, "But sir, I also have a wife and seven children with me!"
"Bring them all, as well," the manager answered.
They all entered the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as it was.
One of the poor fellows turned to mr. Manager and said, "Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you."
The manager replied, "Glad to do it. You'll really love my place; the grass is almost 1 meter high!"
Lesson: Never trust managers... They will take u to any extreme to finish their job.
And there is nothing like KIND MANAGERS 😜
Dedicated to all managers and upcoming managers 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂LOL😜😡😡6 -
How the hell does a guy miss a urinal? What the hell? Are they standing three feet (1 meter) away? And who the hell manages to hit the wall above the urinal? Seriously, the floor is a sopping mess. The wall is a sopping mess. Makes you want to hold it in till you get home. Just, yech!5
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SCREWED OVER GOOGLE WITH MICROSOFT!!!! YES!!!
So as I'm deaf, I've always had a problem with captions or lack of them.
I thought Live Captions would fix it but it's only supported on selected devices and not enabled for calls and conferences like Zoom, WhatsApp.
I tried hooking up my sound card with an audio capble to my phone which has LC and also Live Transcribe... but somehow wouldn't pick up the audio.
Then today I was like wait... I could just install a Pixel emulator... excepy seems Google thought of that...
(I installed VB Cable virtual sound card and routed sound out to mic in).
Well first apparently, the emulator does not actually identify as Pixel... it identifies as an Emulator that sorta looks like Pixel...
Which means no LC...
I installed LT and also a sound meter which confirmed it was getting the audio but no transcription...
Though I tried GBoard and it sorta worked..
But I would like continuous transcription... and so I open the app store and try all the apps until I hit MSFT Translate...
Which has a convo mode which seems pretty much designed to screw Google over lol. Just need to start a Convo with myself...
25 -
I had to make an account for my kid's school.
Last night I start. I put in a username, then it has a quality meter for the password. I put one in and it goes to like 90%. Ok, fine. I submit and...
Validation error on the username field. Message? [object Object].
Try all different kinds of username: no numbers, all caps, etc. But no luck so I give up.
Today I try again and get stuck again. Then I think... "Maybe the devs suck worse than I think..."
I change the password so that it's rated 100% and submit... Success.
Fucking devs.3 -
When you realize that you were producing music in 3/4 meter when you actually intended to do in a 4/4 meter.
Arghhhhh
P.S. Also forgot to change the BPM as well15 -
First story (not rant) :3
So I was asked to set problems for an online programming contest for my college (I'm a sophomore)
The participants were students from my college.
Teacher told me "make as hard as you can"
I gave it my all.
:|
1 person solved the first question. Nobody solved the other four. :|
Not sure if I should be proud or sad.
And if you're wondering - here was my first question -
Sam wants to invest in real estate. He's got X dollars to spend. He knows the expected value per square meter of a given property. He knows the coordinates of the vertices of the polygon shaped properties he's interested in.
(both the values and coordinates for each property are given in input)
Find the maximum return on investment he can get.
(answer is, basically you calculate the area of each polygonal house using half the vector cross product, multiply it with their expected value per square meter, and then apply a dynamic programming - knapsack approach)
;-; I really thought it was a nice question man. ;-; I put so much thought into others too. ;-;
Got ignored. ;-;6 -
Fuck Microsoft and the windows dev team! Fuck the person who thinks it's a bright idea to force users to download updates on their fucking insecure OS.
I live in a shitty substandard country where the cheapest mobile data plan is roughly $7.5 for 7.2gb for a month.
After several weeks of Windows auto downloading updates I don't need, I disabled the updates on several fronts using tutorials found online until yesterday, the fucking thing still found a way to download updates over 6gb, I didn't suspect a thing until I got notification that my data plan is exhausted and I immediately checked windows update and saw a fucking download meter of 76% downloaded. The data was suppose to last for 4-5 days, all gone within 3 hours span.
Fuck whoever thought it is a nice idea to force users to download shitty updates, leave me with the fucking old unstable version, if I get a malware I know how to find my way out you fucking goofs at microfuckingsoft!!14 -
Overheard a dev bragging about how our site is fully PCI compliant. So much so even the invoice data is secure. My BS meter went off, so I decided to look at what 'secure' code looked like.
5 -
I think I have multiple but this guy stands out.
He was a fellow student at my software development study. Used primarily FOSS systems/software, not because he cared about ethics as much but because that way he could tinker with the software as much as he wanted.
He was always searching for new things to tweak, write, explore and so on. And he shared as much as he could with fellow students.
A few examples of what he did:
- wanted to change something about how Linux worked at its core (he mainly used debian based systems) so he learned how to write kernel modules and wrote his solution.
- wanted to be able to monitor his gas/power usage so he hacked an arduino thing into the power/gas meter and got it to send updates to a messenger at command.
- setup and automated mini data center because fuck it, fun to do.
His thinking was always very creative and to this day I still appreciate what he taught me on that!4 -
Last week I stayed at a hotel near Prague. They named their access points like "first floor left" or "restaurant".
Even after 5 days I still had to retype the same generated password when i moved like 5 meter within the building... -
Started the year well :D
Making an app to view our home energy usage and output (solar panels).
Raspberry pi is connected to our energy meter and is used as a server.
But some of you may not like this...
The Pi is running Windows IOT :P
2 -
WHERE CASE WHEN field1 IS NOT NULL THEN ISNULL(field1,NULL) END = ISNULL(field2,NULL)
So many wrongs, my wrong-o-meter broke...2 -
Building an interface for a client between industrial power quality meters and a database that serves a webapp of data.
Client had heard of a way of sending data between meter and raspberry. From some manager in a big firm.
Currently we where using modus to connect the meter to a raspberry. This method was tested and proofen to work. Both devices could talk to each other in modbus.
Client kept demaning to use mbus, and was nog listening to any reason because the firm suggested it. In the end we end up going modbus to mbus to send it to the raspberry. There the mbus was converted back modbus. Because the meter could not communicate in mbus.
Really weird experience to program something so useless. But protesting about it was going nowhere and taking more time than the changes would take to implant.2 -
Debugging when you deallocated an objected which is still referenced by pointers else where is like find waldo with a 2x2 meter picture. Except you don't know what waldo looks like.3
-
Texas jokes time!
M16: Jams when dirty
AK-47: Works when dirty
Mosin-Nagant: Wasn’t clean since issuing in 1932
M16: You’d rather die than break your expensive rifle in melee
AK-47: Your rifle works good in melee
Mosin-Nagant: Your rifle is a spear that can shoot
M16: 40mm grenade launcher is heavy, but is accurate up to 200 meters
AK-47: If something goes wrong, you can throw a 40mm grenade into the window yourself
Mosin-Nagant: Throwing grenades into windows? Shoot through the wall, your cartridge penetrates one meter of brick
M16: You can use a suppressor, a small bullet doesn’t make much noise
AK-47: You can use a suppressor, but it’s better to spray and pray
Mosin-Nagant: You don’t need a suppressor — everyone will go deaf after the first shot anyway
M16: More complex than some aeroplanes
AK-47: Used by countries that have no money for aeroplanes
Mosin-Nagant: Was used to shoot down aeroplanes
A favourite drink of the user:
M16: Whiskey
AK-47: Vodka
Mosin-Nagant: brake fluid
M16: Makes a small hole, obeys the Geneva convention
AK-47: Makes a large hole, doesn’t obey the Geneva convention
Mosin-Nagant: One of the reasons for the creation of the Geneva convention
M16: Perfect for shooting squirrels
AK-47: Perfect for shooting enemies of the State
Mosin-Nagant: Perfect for shooting armoured personnel carriers7 -
It's not my intention to start a web technology war so be nice do not do that 😁
Short Info: I'm "desktop programmer" (if that word exists) in either C # or Java 😎
question: I would like to create my own website, just simple to start with and maybe expand it later with eg. Arduino temperature meter
I have a look at 2 programming languages that I can build it in, Js or PHP. I just do not know which one to choose, I'm probably the most to Js, but what are the pros and cons of these 2 and / or is there a completely different programming language I have to take a look at?16 -
Someone in the train seat in front of me is chewing bubblegum really loudly for 20 minutes now...my "annoyance-meter" 🌡️ is starting to go off...
What should I do?1 -
When I look at the hefty PC setup on my desk self-assembled ~8 years ago, the only thought crossing my mind is: "what the hell was I thinking..."
time for an upgrade to free up 1 sq meter of space on my desk5 -
Anyone else got the problem of a tmp36 being really fucking hot. Its really annoying.
I was just messing around with a Arduino and there is this Love-o-meter thing that uses the tmp36. And oh god something must have went wrong113 -
Listing my skills:
I have published react-native apps.
I can build an extensive backend/API thing with node.JS/a good framework.(worked on something for my countries national football league during an internship as main/only dev)
I have some experience with c# but havent used it since school.
I have no issue getting into new frameworks/languages, as long as its not PHP.
I have experience working in software teams.
I have experience running my own company(Online store selling airsoft supplies - i quit).
Im working towards getting familiar with Tensorflow 2.0.
I have a Cambridge English assessment certificate at grade C2.
I am currently working(for 0 pay for 50% of the shares) on developing a social media app that uses location tracking on a 20-200 meter scale.
I have ADHD and have been spoken on/warned due to its effects( i.e. forgetting to report progress, getting distracted, needing stimulation so i browse youtube(even have it playing in the bottom corner sometimes), poor communication.
Am i worth anything at all as a developer... im getting pretty depressed due to not having an income at this point... and I dont think anyone will hire me4 -
I was doing something in Git, switching and I guess another process was doing a fetch and now all the files no meter what bench I'm in says Unstaged/Untracked.
I tried deleting the main branch and checking it out again from remote but nothing.
I have no idea what I did or how to fix... Seems like I need to delete the whole folder... But then I'd lose any changes in feature branches out local branches which afternoon checked in....8 -
This *is* a question you silly wrong tagging mother fucker, how dare you doubt me?
Alright, no more disclaimer: I like dungeons and dragons, but it's too fucking much in terms of rules and systems and shit, as in just *making* a character can take a long ass while.
And if that's the highest level of all your ANAL preferences then OK, but I'm not you and things only come OUT of my ass, not inwards, I swear.
Anyhoo, I got fed up with it and wrote my own ruleset and setting as a last fuck you to everyone. It's very simple: if you want to be some kinky magical alien hermaphrodite royal prostitute half sewer dragon princess and three quarters bearded female incest child of demons and fairies then FINE, but you get no bonuses for that shit.
Get it? No complex racial level scaling bullshit, FUCK YOU, race and background is just for vibes, end of story.
You get no attribute or skills or shit to distribute on level one. All you get is a prompt: pick three actions, that's it. You wanna be sexy? Pick "seduce". You wanna set turds on fire? Pick "ignite". Are you an edge lord? Pick "summon". Would you be my wife? Pick "heal", "buff" and "smite".
The game is turn based, and each action you can take is effectively a spell. Everyone can cast a basic spell like walk, attack, talk, crouch, etcetera -- that costs no mana. Special crap like flying and firing fucking electricity costs mana, and you can only do those if you either picked the spell on level one or learnt it later from a book/tutor/demonic bargain/whatever.
Which spells are valid for taking at level one is up to the game master; I just tell people to pick three verbs or short sentences, and if they choose something that's too broken like "split the Red Sea" I'm like nah you're not Moses, try again.
Still with me? Good. You get eight points of health, four points of mana, and one point of stamina. They're all energy, and you can use it to power your magery, but spending all your health means you fucking die.
Stamina recharges fully every turn, and is used for the aforementioned basic actions. All of these cost one point of stamina each. If you run out of stamina, you can use mana. Or your BLOOD.
Level one spells cost one mana, level two cost two and so on. You get back one point of mana each turn, and you can fire all the spells you want during it, long as you have mana. Or BLOOD.
That's good and all, but if you spend anywhere over eleven combined points of energy in one go, you spontaneously combust and die, erasing all signs of life in a twenty-meter radius. This is called incineration, and it *will* leave behind a blackened crater from which the dark servants of the Horror Immemorial may or may not crawl out of.
In case you didn't guess by now, your blood doesn't fucking come back unless you eat, sleep or see a healer.
But anyway, the more points you spend into casting a spell -- and remember, basic attack counts as a spell -- the more powerful it is, so the bigger your diceroll can get. My rule is I add one dice for every fourth point of energy spent, so (1d4), (1d4 + 1d6), (1d4 + 1d6 + 1d8), incineration.
Additionally, for every three points of energy spent, your spell can hit one more target. That's right, you like AoE? Then spend more mana, bitch. Oh, and if you're using shit like poison it lasts one more turn for every two points of energy spent.
How do we calculate damage? Diceroll over two and fuck your mother. Armor class? Resistances? Out of my face with that shit. Damage reduction is called "tyranny" and is for dungeon bosses only.
If you live long enough to get to level two, you *do* get attributes. Pick:
- Grit: +2 health, +1 to fighter shit type rolls.
- Cunning: +2 mana, +1 to rogue shit type rolls.
- Allure: +1 stamina, +2 to wizard shit type rolls.
- Spirit: +1 to elemental shit type spells.
- Faith: +1 to benefactor paragon asshole shit type spells.
- Hatred: +1 to demonic murder hobo destructive shit type spells.
On second level, you can pick one of the spells you know to get +1 to it, specifically. Eh, "+1" just means you get a bonus to some diceroll, no time to explain I'm running out of characters what the fuck.
On level three, the cycle repeats. Pick attr, pick spell. DONE.
Oh right, and weapons. Mostly just vibes, pick your fancy and fuck off. Normally, you can hit things one tile away; if you have a BIG melee weapon you can hit from *two* tiles away, and if you have a ranged weapon you can shoot anyone in sight, but you need to spend one point of energy to reload.
And there, all bases covered in less that 5000 characters with some flair to spare, now suck my fucking cock Hasbro.
What was the question? Oh yeah right, I'm gonna GPL this shit and put it in browsers. I think I'm going to write it in Kotlin but I'm open to suggestions. Would you guys like to play it/contribute to it's development for shits and giggles?9 -
4h spent on installing very old drivers for a old stupid wifi adapter for my little bro's computer... fuck it tomorrow I'm buying a 10 meter LAN cable...
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Having a progress meter seems to make the wait a lot shorter... or at knowing it's not hanging it seems...
2 -
I've tried to Google this question and always get the same shit. So I hope I can ask it here.
Do any of you nerds know of any windows 10 UI customization software that's not rainmeter, but like rain meter?9 -
question to my male homies (or ladies too, if you are equally violent) hey what are your thoughts about someone fucking with your priced possession? you might not have a generic answer, so here are some specific scenarios:
1. some random drunk guy intentionally keys your car/breaks a headlight and you see it.
2. some guy teases /touches your girl/wife/SO/kid inappropriately.
3. some guy drops your phone and breaks screen.
my personal angry reaction for above things could go from either slapping/punching a guy to possibly do him a permanent damage (break arm,leg,nose,hand etc). i am not a violent guy , but some things matter more than a crime i guess (although, does it really count as a crime tho?)
i feel we can give a very these violent reaction for 2 reasons : these possessiona are so damn expensive that we genuinely get hurt and want an instant revenge and secondly we don't trust the judiciary to give a worthy punishment
i asked a friend of mine a simialar question and his violence meter is even lesser. he (20 at that time) once slapped his 50 year old neighbour coz they entered his home and started shouting at his dad, another time caused a big scene on a T-point as an auto driver accidentally dented his car while turning (the car was 2 days old)13 -
rantHeader = "Merry Christmas to me!"
subHeader = "How a phone survied a three stories fall but dropping it from 1 meter high shattered its glass"
And it's Christmas with my direct manager on holiday till Februrary the 33th 2085 meaning I will get a new phone in 1/2 years if all goes well...
Well at least I have a good excuse not to connect to work during my holidays as MFA app is on this phone...2
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