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I’m surrounded by idiots.
I’m continually reminded of that fact, but today I found something that really drives that point home.
Gather ‘round, everybody, it’s story time!
While working on a slow query ticket, I perused the code, finding several causes, and decided to run git blame on the files to see what dummy authored the mental diarrhea currently befouling my screen. As it turns out, the entire feature was written by mister legendary Apple golden boy “Finder’s Keeper” dev himself.
To give you the full scope of this mess, let me start at the frontend and work my way backward.
This function allows the user to better see the rows in the API Calls table, for which there is a also search feature — the very thing I’m tasked with fixing.
It’s worth noting that above the search feature are two inputs for a date range, with some helpful links like “last week” and “last month” … and “All”. It’s also worth noting that this table is for displaying search results of all the API requests and their responses for a given merchant… this table is enormous.
This search field for this table queries the backend on every character the user types. There’s no debouncing, no submit event, etc., so it triggers on every keystroke. The actual request runs through a layer of abstraction to parse out and log the user-entered date range, figure out where the request came from, and to map out some column names or add additional ones. It also does some hard to follow (and amazingly not injectable) orm condition building. It’s a mess of functional ugly.
The important columns in the table this query ultimately searches are not indexed, despite it only looking for “create_order” records — the largest of twenty-some types in the table. It also uses partial text matching (again: on. every. single. keystroke.) across two varchar(255)s that only ever hold <16 chars — and of which users only ever care about one at a time. After all of this, it filters the results based on some uncommented regexes, and worst of all: instead of fetching only one page’s worth of results like you’d expect, it fetches all of them at once and then discards what isn’t included by the paginator. So not only is this a guaranteed full table scan with partial text matching for every query (over millions to hundreds of millions of records), it’s that same full table scan for every single keystroke while the user types, and all but 25 records (user-selectable) get discarded — and then requeried when the user looks at the next page of results.
What the bloody fucking hell? I’d swear this idiot is an intern, but his code does (amazingly) actually work.
No wonder this search field nearly crashed one of the servers when someone actually tried using it.
I would absolutely love it if people would write their own stupid code instead of blindly mixing everyone else's mental diarrhea together and pouring the resulting mess into their bloody stupid IDE. At least then I could insult them properly. As it is, they're outsourcing their fucking stupidity to the lowest fucking bidder and then bragging about how quickly they get everything done. And management eats it up! No wonder everything is a slow, tangled, unmaintanable mess.
I can't fix much of anything because almost none of it is in my control. It's all autogenerated bullshit glued together with laziness and poor taste. "But Root, why is fixing this taking so long?" Gee, I wonder why. Maybe if someone had built it somewhere in realm of correctly the first time, it wouldn't have all fallen apart when someone looked at it the wrong way!
Seriously, there's no way this pile of stale fertilizer could have passed QA.9
#2 Worst thing I've seen a co-worker do?
Back before we utilized stored procedures (and had an official/credentialed DBA), we used embedded/in-line SQL to fetch data from the database.
var sql = @"Select
Id = @ID"
In attempts to fix database performance issues, a developer, T, started putting all the SQL on one line of code (some sql was formatted on 10+ lines to make it readable and easily copy+paste-able with SSMS)
var sql = "Select ... From...Where...etc";
His justification was putting all the SQL on one line make the code run faster.
T: "Fewer lines of code runs faster, everyone knows that."
Mgmt bought it.
This process took him a few months to complete.
When none of the effort proved to increase performance, T blamed the in-house developed ORM we were using (I wrote it, it was a simple wrapper around ADO.Net with extension methods for creating/setting parameters)
T: "Adding extra layers causes performance problems, everyone knows that."
Mgmt bought it again.
Removing the ORM, again took several months to complete.
By this time, we hired a real DBA and his focus was removing all the in-line SQL to use stored procedures, creating optimization plans, etc (stuff a real DBA does).
In the planning meetings (I was not apart of), T was selected to lead because of his coding optimization skills.
DBA: "I've been reviewing the execution plans, are all the SQL code on one line? What a mess. That has to be worst thing I ever saw."
T: "Yes, the previous developer, PaperTrail, is incompetent. If the code was written correctly the first time using stored procedures, or even formatted so people could read it, we wouldn't have all these performance problems."
DBA didn't know me (yet) and I didn't know about T's shenanigans (aka = lies) until nearly all the database perf issues were resolved and T received a recognition award for all his hard work (which also equaled a nice raise).7
Ok you fucks that don't believe in documentation - me included.
Document your shit, because one day, one day some dumb fuck is going to have to recreate your over engineered bullshit of a system and scale it up.
What would fucking be useful right now is ANY god forsaken insight into what in the flying fuck your code is doing, or not doing, or why it makes queries to a database with no fucking records in it 🤦♂️ and then attempts to use that data... in case it did exist.
There's nothing like unpicking a mess of bullshit, and documenting it, and then have to remake it on a new platform.
Documention saves lives kids, maybe your own life one day😬16
My worst dev experience in 2021 has been a PHP-based CMS developped by lobotomized, single-celled organisms incapable of coherent thoughts.
A CMS even worse than WorstPress.
200k lines of "code", no use of packages, multiple entrypoints, no namespacing, all dependencies loaded by "include" at random places and everything is dependent of every thing else... a complete mess.
One could call it the butterfly effect CMS. Adding a space could completely crash the application.
At this point I've almost developped terminal eye cancer...5
In the begining of time, when The Company was small and The Data could fit in some fucking excel sheets, Those Who Came Before implemented some java tool to issue invoices, notify customers and clear received payments.
Then came the Time Of The Great Expanse, when The Company grew to unthinkable levels. Headcount increased with each passing day, and The Data shows that everything was going great!
But when the future seemed bright, came The Stall-Out. The days when The Company could not expand as fast as it did before. And Those Who Came Before left, abandoning their Undocumented Java Tool to its own luck.
Those who came after knew nothing of the inner workings of the Undocumented Java Tool. They knew only that the magical Jar would take a couple fucking excel spreadsheets and spit out reports and send emails like magic.
And those were The Dark Days.
In the darkness, The Data grew to be a monster. Soon a fucking excel spreadsheet could not hold The Data contained any longer. Those Who Came After, fearing the wrath of The Undocumented Java Tool, dared not mess with its code. Instead, they fucking cut away the lowest volume transactions from the fucking input spreadsheet, and left the company to report the unbilled invoices as "surprise losses". Fucking script kiddies, were Those Who Came After.
Then, at The Darkest of Days (literally, Dec 21st), marched into the project The Six Witchers, who fear not the Demon of Refactoring.
This story is still unfolding. Will The Six Witchers manage to unravel the mysteries of The Undocumented Java Tool? Will they be able to reverse engineer the fucking black box, and scale it's magic into a modern application?
Will they decrease revenue forecasting error by at least 2% in a single strike?
Only the future will tell.16
Post after a long long time...
Wanted to reply to so many comments and mentions, rant about a bunch of topics, do a face reveal after I went for a vacation with family and got some pictures, update y'all on my job hunt, but was busy like hell.
Anyway, time for a story.
After my rejection with Meta and Booking, I started preparing like crazy and my interviews started going well. Refined my LinkedIn further and recruiters started reaching out as well.
Over time, with efforts and feedback, I was able to build a good pipeline.
One of my dream companies reached out to me and I got hired in just 1 round and all others were merely a formality. I was euphoric, but at the same time didn't get over excited as this seemed fishy.
They made a very good monetary offer and I didn't talk to my manager yet regarding resignation. They are pushing me for an early joining.
Read a bunch of Glassdoor reviews and also spoke to a friend who just recently quit that organisation.
He confirmed that the company has 3 months of notice, has sandwich leave policy, and some other XLT political mess.
I decided to decline the offer tomorrow.
Day saved? Not yet.
Because of this I slacked off work a lot. I am super screwed with work items pending because I thought I'd quit.
My boss resinged and new one isn't that supportive yet. He is trying to change everything overnight. Typical.
I ended up performing poorly in other companies because I was confident I'll pick this offer and didn't prepare for upcoming good companies.
Moreover, we have our offices opening up from April and I might be asked to relocate to another city which does not have a team but just because it is on paper, they might force me to be in office 50% of the time.
And what's worse is, my relationship with tech is deteriorating and they are putting the entire product team in bad light.
I have a planned weekend trip coming up, so I won't be able to prepare for interviews or work on case studies so that shit will pile up more.
I am sooooo fucking screwed. Life was stable and then all of a sudden too 180° flip.
I am hysterical right now.17
I've told the same story multiple times but the subject of "painfully incompetent co-worker" just comes up so often.
I have one coworker who never really grew out of the mindset of a college student who just took "Intro to Programming". If a problem couldn't be solved with a textbook solution, then he would waste several weeks struggling with it until eventually someone else would pick up the ticket and finish it in a couple days. And if he found a janky workaround for a problem, he'd consider that problem "solved" and never think about it again.
He lasted less than a year before he quit and went off to get a job somewhere else, leaving the rest of our team to comb through his messy code and fix it. Unfortunately, our team is mostly split across multiple projects and our processes were kind of a mess until recently, so his work was a black box of code that had never been reviewed.
I opened the box and found only despair and regret. He was using deprecated features from older versions of the language to work around language bugs that no longer existed. He overused constants to a ridiculous degree (hundreds of constants, all of which are used exactly once in the entire codebase, stored in a single mutable map variable named "values" because why not). He didn't really seem to understand DRY at all. His code threw warnings in the IDE and had weird errors that were difficult to reproduce because there was just a whole pile of race conditions.
I ended up having to take a figurative hacksaw to it, ripping out huge sections of unnecessary crap and modernizing it to use recent language features to get rid of the deprecation warnings and intermittent errors. And then I went through the same process again for every other project he'd touched.
I'm going to talk to my supervisor about redoing their code base.
It will take time, it will suck a bit but I think the long term investment in doing this right will be worth it.
Wish me luck in convincing him 😂🤞7
Dear customer, disregarding the bullshit your agency has dumped into Figma, I hereby deliver a clean, minimalist, and usable website without carousel sliders, chatbots, call-to-action teasers for newsletter signup, and muted auto-play videos consuming your end users' bandwidth.
One day you will understand and be grateful, too!3
that one legendary guy who cranks out code and builds insane features. PMs (product management) love him because he builds features in several months which 10 devs together couldn't have built in the same time (so they say), features that are loved by customers as well, become their new standard and that have saved our company's asses in the past.
features are really awesome, performant and have very few bugs (compared to the rest of the software シ).
but this guy seems to live for this job. he also works at weekends, at unholy times of day and night and even in his holidays (he doesn't care that this is actually illegal, in terms of employee's rights, and he wouldn't listen to his superiors, no matter what they tell him)
so far, so good - except that he will probably die of some stroke or something very soon due to this lifestyle.
but it must be an absolute pain in the ass to work with him, as long as you're a developer (or his superior).
he lives in his own world and within the software, his features are also his own world. since the different modules interact with each other, sometimes you would be assigned a bug that might have its cause in some interaction of your and his module. talk with him about it? forget it. he wouldn't answer most devs who contacted him for some reason. ever. fix it in his module yourself? might happen that he just reverts your changes to his module without comments. so some bugs would lie on your desk forever because theoretically you know what would need to be done but if you cannot reach out into HIS world, there's no way to fix it. also - his code might be good in terms of performance and low bug numbers. but it seems to be hard to work on that code for everybody else but him.
furthermore, he is said to be really rude. he is no team player, but works on a software that is worked on by a huge team.
PMs think he's a genius, just a great dev, but they don't understand that other devs need to clean up the mess behind or around him.
everyone who's been his superior so far recommends to get him fired, but the company wouldn't fire him because they don't want to lose his talent. he can just do what he wants. he can even refuse to work on certain things because he thinks they are boring and he is not interested in them. devs seem to hate him, but my boss said, they are probably also a bit jealous because of his talent. i think, he's not wrong. :)
i haven't actually met him so far or was actually "forced" to deal with him, but i've never heard so many contrastive things about one person, the reputation of his, let's say vibrant personality really hurries ahead. he must be a real genius, after all i've heard so far, like he lives in the code. i must say i'm a bit curious but also somewhat afraid of meeting him one day.
do you also have such a guy at your company?14
Is it common to look at code you wrote 1 to 2 years ago and think "what the hell was i thinking, this mess needs refactoring"?9
De-duping drama continues. Background: stakeholder marked a bunch of records as “do not use” and didn’t realize/didn’t care about the impact on other systems. Many of those are active user accounts.
Stakeholder: What if we ask the user to create a new website account?
Me: they can’t register a new account of the email was used already. Are you expecting me to delete all those web accounts so the users can start over with their current email? Or are you saying you’re going to email 400 people and tell them to get a new email address and create a new account? Don’t force users to do extra steps to fix your mess.
Continued from: https://devrant.com/rants/5403991/...3
There are so many weird hacks in the quite legacy app I work with I could write a book about all them hacks…
But I must admit, the worst of them all is internal time. Yes, so some blockhead thought it’s a good idea to represent time in a manner completely removed from Datetime objects or timestamps or even string representations. Instead we deal with them as intervals represented by integers - and because this is not fucked up enough by itself, the internal time doesn’t start at midnight, yet the integer representations do. It’s a bloody mess. No wonder most of the bugs we face have to do with dates and time…5
Just saw this:
Add comma's to your passwords to mess with the csv file they will be dumped in after a data breach9
Ughhhhhh. This fucking code is a disaster! The guy says he built it DRY, but it's WET as fuck! So much fucking repeated code!
I'm annoyed most because I know that it'd be a fucking waste of time to try and rebuild what these guys have built over the past 5 years, but goddamn it, it shouldn't be an excuse to keep on making code like this!
I know that I'm not super experienced in C# but pick up a goddamn book on good coding practices. This thing is a disjointed mess and it never had to get this way.
So many fucking interfaces!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA22
I feel like resigning from a company that i joined 3 weeks back.
I don't like to code in PHP and the manager wants to stick on to that , no new developers joining the company and php is one of the reason. The code is a mess. Every now and then some other team come running for a change like one button to do some shit and then for a fix after 15mins of release.
So many database operations are happening manually. No innovation in the team. Developers are very boring , women being senior developers and team leads brings stability but there is no innovation , excitement or any enthusiasm. All my team members are very happy doing mediocre shit. Manager talks about agile development and they are following that at a level where every half a day some requirement changes.
I m tired of being a developer that fixes the same mediocre shit.
Its too boring.8
Alright, this is a rant about me and how much I suck at living.
After a little over a year of living alone thousands of kilometers away from home, I realised I suck at it. I'm home for the holidays now. Arrived here a couple of weeks ago. Christmas week was just the worst. I fell ill and thought I was going to perish in the cold. For the past year, I was working full throttle and didn't make time to take care of myself and cook and eat regularly. I'm sick of all the take out food. Ugh. Didn't even leave time for socialising, may have even broken a few existing connections. I built some good reputation at my company but it was not at all worth what I went through. Not one bit.
It didn't help that some important devs left the company and their code mess was down to me to handle. Don't even want to mention more about the family mess at home. But home is home still.
So this year, once I go back, I've decided I'm going to take control and make time for all the important things in life. I've gained new cooking skills from mom too. I've already started the job change process and if everything goes alright, I should be in a much better place before I see 2023.3
I thought of posting this as a comment to @12bit float' post, but then decided it better goes out as a post by itself.
My second employer, where I am on my last week of notice currently, is building a no code/low code tool.
Since this was my first job switch, I was in a dreamy phase and was super excited about this whole space. I indeed got to learn like crazy.
Upon joining, I realised that an ideal user persona for this product was a developer. Wow! No code tool for developer. sO cOoL...
We started building it and as obvious as it could get, the initial goal was adoption because we were still at top of the funnel.
We launched an alpha release shortly followed by a beta.
Nobody used it. Tech XLT/LT kept pushing product and design team to run a feature factory so that their teams can use this tool.
The culture set by those two leaders was toxic as fuck.
Now, I decided to do some research and some more product discovery to understand why folks were not using it. Mind you, we were not allowed to do any research and were forced to build based on opinions of those two monkeys.
Turns out that the devs were really happy with their existing tools and our tool was another tool being forcefully added into their toolbox by the said XLT/LT.
Not only that, even if they decide to use our tool, out of pressure, they still cannot because the product was missing key capabilities like audit control and promotion from one environment to another.
Building those would essentially mean reinventing Github aka version control and Spinnaker aka CI/CD pipeline.
My new boss (I got 3 managers in 4 months because of high attrition across levels due to the toxic culture), thinks that tech XLT/LT are doing great and we all suck as a product and design team.
He started driving things his own way without even understanding or settling down for first 90 days.
Lol, I put in my resignation got out of that mess.
So agreeing to what our boy said here, no code tools are a complete waste, especially for a developer, and even as a non tech person, I prefer keyboard over mouse.2
Everything about the company is a mess. The only thing that is decent is the people. And by that I mean they aren't shit.
Workflows are fucked.
Clients are fucked. You're pressuring me to get this shit production ready before new year's eve and you still don't know what the text should say and want to make changes to the UI? The fuck?!
Design is a complete shit show. There is a design team. They only make a fucking psd to show clients how an interface would look like. No mobile version (but it's still expected to work!), no markup. Resolution is fucking inconsistent and whenever a change is requested, they are nowhere to be seen so I have to actually do designing on top of having to use this worthless fucking framework I hate it so much.
Codebases are turbo-fucked because of said framework.
Databases are an inconsistent, fucked up mess. No foreign key constraints because every single fucking table is using the MyISAM engine.
And the thing that really makes me incredibly angry is all the "custom systems" look the fucking same at the database level. Like 30 fucking useless tables made for stupid HR workflows that make no fucking sense.1
A few months a couple of my colleagues, a business consultant and a developer, worked on a big project. The project capsized because the client is an A-hole and the developer was way over his head.
To save the project I was brought on board. The entire code base was a fucking mess of duplicated code. Shortly after, the developer called in sick with stress, simply because the whole thing was too much.
Fast forward to now; we just launched. The client is expressing concerns about the quality of the work because of the bumpy road (rightly so). I try to explain why my way of doing things is better, but to "paint the picture" I had to compare my approach to my predecessor. This results in the business consultant shooting me down, right in front of the client.
I fucking saved your job, your project, and about $1M in profits. I'm allowed to tell the story of why my incompetent coworker messed everything up.
I'm so done walking on egg shells because some just don't realize they are not cut out for software development.2
I recently started working on a 3 months old project, that was outsourced to two Indians genius. One of them left just before I arrived.
I had the chance to discover those guys were not using any version control system, just exchanging a zip file. I don’t even talk about the codebase, never seen such a mess …
Even better the project managers, were not using any IT program to follow the project advancement, but just Excel!!!
After a few days I realised that the remaining dev was not committing anything, the guy was always lying, (so many people died around him + some emergencies)
So, the guy got fired, but don’t worry management found new genius to save the project 🙂
Can someone tell me if outsourcing is really working?7
The technician from my previous ISP was creating a mess. The cables were worn out and overall the service quality started degrading. Maybe I too had an old router.
After 10 years of loyalty, decided to switch the ISP. Similar plan, better rates. However, this one is fibre optic.
Expecting better service and less bandwidth drop. We just got the installation done and now will get the connection activated next week.
The ISP has also agreed to provide me a free 5G router, so yayayay!!5
So about two months ago in my consulting firm I was asked to replace a colleague on a project (node and Angular). The project is only a few months old but it’s already a total clusterfuck. DB is very poorly designed. It’s supposed to be a relational database but there’s not a trace of a foreign key or any key for that matter and I’ve seen joins like tableA.name = tableB.description (seriously, that’s your relation??). The code is a mess with entire blocks of code copied from another project and many parts of the code aren’t even used. He didn’t even bother renaming variables so they would make sense in the context they were shamelessly thrown into. The code is at best poorly typed if not typed at all.
During our dailies I sometimes express my frustration with my other colleagues as I very politely allude to my predecessor’s code as being hard to work with. (They are all “good friends" with him). I always get the same response from my colleagues: "yeah but you’ve gotta understand Billybob was under a lot of pressure. The user stories were not well defined. He didn’t have time to do a proper job". That type of response just makes me boil inside.
Because you think I have time to deal with this shit? You don’t think I’m working with the same client and his user stories that are barely intelligible? How long does it take to write type definitions for parameters going into a function? That’s right, 30 seconds at most? Maybe a minute if it’s a more elaborate object? How much time do you think you’ll save yourself with a properly typed function or better yet an interface? Hard to tell but certainly A LOT MORE than those 30 seconds you lost (no, the 30 seconds you INVESTED) in writing that interface!!!
FUCK people with their excuses! Never tell me you don’t have time to do a proper job! You’ve wasted HOURS of my time just because you were too fucking lazy to type your functions, too lazy to put just a little more thought into designing your tables, too lazy to rename a variable so that it’s name actually makes sense where it’s being used. It’s not because you were short on time. You’re just lazy!
A certain person here on devRant was annoyed about my phone being named “Beyond”, seeing a screenshot of my settings.
What they said: “the name, beyond, reeks pretentiousness and arrogance, you say you’re better than other people”
What really happened: during one of my manic episodes, I discovered the band named Death Grips. Their music resonated with me and helped me to cope with my derealization. In one of their songs, I misheard lyrics, and heard the word “Veyon” that was never there in the first place. Upon my inner voice pronouncing it, as it usually happens to me, a brand-new universe appeared before me, where Veyon was a name of a megacorporation that exists in a shaky spacetime plane somewhere in India. If you want to go there, three outcomes are possible: you can actually come to their building that appears to be normal, with people working inside you can talk to, and no signs of trouble in sight. Or, you can try to walk to their building, but you will never reach it. GPS will show you slowing down gradually as you get closer, but to you, it would look like you’re just walking with your regular speed, as if nothing happened. Like a function trying to reach its asymptote, you’ll never come to your destination. The third outcome is by far the most interesting one. You will reach the building, but it will be abandoned, with doors scattered on the floors randomly, some of them will disappear after you walk in, rendering you missing in this universe. Oh, and floors are guarded by robots and turrets, and they are made by Grumman, the military aviation manufacturer. Yes, Grumman, not Northrop Grumman. This building in the third outcome originates from the spacetime plane where Northrop and Grumman never merged.
The whole thing raced through my mind in a millisecond. I liked it and decided to squat the name, but it was already taken by Veyon open source software (Virtual Eye On Networks).
In some time, I bought a new phone second-hand, and named it Veyon. The next day, I took it to shower with me. It turned out that the seller lied to me about it never being fixed. It was, and in the process its water resistance was compromised. So, this phone was damaged beyond repair the next day I bought it.
The same day, I went and bought the same phone model, but brand new, and in black, as I originally wanted. I was grateful for this opportunity that helped me escape the situation where I would've been using the phone of the colour I disliked just because I cheapen out. I know myself, and I would’ve been feeling uneasy every day, hesitant to sell it and get a new one because “nothing is wrong with it, quit being this picky, it’s just a colour”, but wait, don’t I deserve to make the colour a significant enough reason to switch the phone because I care about colour, especially if it’s me who’s paying the money? Did I make this money rightfully, or am I an impostor who gets paid because of intricate lies I tell? Do I actually tell them, or do I make that up to somehow convince "them" I'm innocent? Or do I try to get attention?
I’m terrible at dealing with that kind of mess, So, I was grateful.
The only thing left to do was to name my new phone. I decided not to name it “Veyon” again, just in case. So, I named it “Beyond”, as this word is probably what the actual song said.
The monstrosity of a story above is the usual thing for me to feel. I was really hurt by you telling me the name I chose was a display of pretentiousness. Do I deserve to be pretentious? I say yes, but my voice is shaking, as flashbacks of my awful mother abusing me come in the way.
You hurt me with that comment. Let’s meet? :)2
Why do I prefer robots to humans, you ask? I'd love to tell you.
If I tell a robot that I want my room vacuumed, they wouldn't purposefully mess up the room instead. It understands a small set of instructions.
But if I tell a human, a friend for example, that I have abandonment issues, you best believe they will go ahead and abandon me exactly when I need them.
Or if I tell a human, a potential fwb for example, that I can't take emotional stuff, you best believe that they will do a 180 and become the most romantic person ever.
And that, is why I prefer robots. Now, one of you go ahead and make an intelligent robot that I could date. I'm literally done with people.12
I think the sleep deprived me is finally cracking under the weight of incompetent assholes.
We just launched a major project in some weird cocktail of Agile slapped with MVP and release to the wild in a waterfall, but it was premature, premature in the sense QA hasn't even finished their side of things, but because some fuck with with "manager" in their title decided they have burnt through the budget with incompetence and scrapped an entire element of the project and outsourced just so they could make a shittier version that doesn't even fucking work.
How hard do you want to fail before you will start listening to the people that now have to work around the fucking clock to clean up this horse shit of a mess.
I'm literally arguing over field mapping with multiple 3rd parties, when the fucking requirements state WTF this is suppose to look like. All because they didn't validate or test their own shit.
Why is EVERY FUCKING cock head in this industry a waste of space and cash! Is it really to much to ask for 1 fucking project to fucking go live that actually fucking works where I don't need to work 2 weeks straight (including weekends) after going live just to be sure that what shit does hit the fan isn't going to create a SEV 1 issue...
Sorry, I'm pissed at the incompetence of others I need to deal with on a daily basis. It's not like this field is insanely hard. A little attention to detail and self validation, verification goes a long way. But clearly that's a rarity.
Once this shit is stable and actually works, I'll be pulling out the mop to clean up half this shit just so it actually works.
Oof, I'm getting to old for this bullshit.4
Creating a stripped down version of a product is a big red flag to me (e.g. "easy/light mode").
It means the main product is too complicated; it handles too many things. Instead, shift the focus back to the core of the product by removing features.
In the our day-to-day it is completely normal to stumble upon things that used to work but now have been changed: they have been deprecated.
Deprecating and removing features should be added to any product iteration. Thus being "normal" and a common occurrence in any changelog; just like features and bug fixes.
This gives non-tech product owners "permission" to remove bloat. Devs stop whining about "the big rewrite". And end-users don't suddenly have to learn yet another tool with "basic" features missing.
I think the best example is google (https://killedbygoogle.com/) and the worst is the amazon shopping website (what a mess!).3
I gave a rant yesterday about this. But I have to say it again because it's so gratifying. It went like this
Me: "you should patch the module instead of using it for your python unit test."
Them: "You keep telling me this, but maybe there is a better way"
Me: "there is, I'm telling it to you"
Next day, Code review.
Me: "You need to change this"
... silent on the issue ...
On a call...
Me: "You need to patch the module. Don't mess up the namespace."
Them: "I don't think so, X did the work"
(In my head: then what did you do)
Me: "We can grab whoever you like Y, X. Let's see if X is busy"
... X isnt busy, hops on call 45 seconds later.
Me: "we're using the module, we should patch this'
X: Muses the thought for 2-3 seconds.
X: "yeah... Yeah we probably should patch that"
Moral of the story, don't take shit personally unless your right... Then relish in. But if your right and X says otherwise, you can always + a rant.
Today I could finally spend some time reviewing the merge requests an intern made (and I occasionally helped).
My god, I want to put it this months amount of work an, put it in a trash, burn it and rewrite it before the fire is gone.
5 small and unrelated issues. The intern used branches with the correct naming scheme, but IT'S A FUCKING STRAIGHT LINE BUILDING ON TOP OF EACHOTHER.
Oh ans also they took the liberty to update the dependencies and the language versions used. There was no issue regarding this. It's the first branch in the line and it was called "update_<dependency>" where they just upped the version numbers of everything and then COMMENT OUT all mentions of <dependency> so that it compiles at the very least.
Now today I spend most of my time reviewing the code by fixing that mess. Thanks to updates I had to update the CI and replace some libraries that are now incompatible. Tomorrow I can finally inspect the shit itself.
On a positive side node, I removed node as a dev dependency and the size of the node modules went down from 128mb to 18mb4
Have you ever had to fire someone? or get someone fired?
I’m thinking about a time when I should have made sure a guy was fired.
He had no business leading a project, and I knew this early on when he suggested connecting a public frontend straight to a clients’ ERP.
I wasn’t on his project but I ended up cleaning up his mess when shit hit the fan.3
Small chaotic startup that never grew up (15 years atm).
Hosts/maintains a number of apps/sites for various customers.
At some point, someone decides that a CMS would be usefull to maintain the content across all products. Forgoing all sense, reason and the very notion of "additional maintenance and dev" it is decided that one should be built in-house.
Fast forward a number of years.
Ops performs routine maintenance on prod-servers. A java-patch accidently knocks out one of the pillars a 3rd party lib the CMS uses for storing images. CMS basically burst in to flames causing a.... significant incident.
Enter yours truly to fix the mess.
Spend a few days replacing the affected 3rd party lib. Run tests on CMS in test and staging environments. Apply java-patch. All seems fine.
When speaking to frontenders and app-devs, a significant hurdle present itself:
All test/staging instances of all websites/apps/etc ALL USE PRODUCTION CMS. Hardcoded. No way around.
There is -no- way to properly test and verify the functionality of any changes made to the home-brewed CMS.
My patch did indeed work in the end.
But did the company learn anything? Did they listen to my reasoning, pleading or even anguished screams for sanity?
Seriously, at what point did the good, kind, selfless souls who write tutorials and guides online turn into fucking food bloggers?
I've been an engineer about 15 years, so I still have to google most of the code I write as I write it, and this week I've been learning a new framework.
Ten years ago it'd be "here's how to..." then the thing you want to do.
Now it's "For the longest time, I didn't want to use Gradle..." followed by a summary of the last week in their life.
I really don't care about your Journey with Rust, I want to know how to define an optional parameter. I don't give a rat's fucking dick how much faster this is than that, my hands are tied by whoever started this mess - just tell me how to make it work.
I guess there's something to be said for remembering things between sessions.2
Follow-up on https://devrant.com/rants/5001553/...
How the fuck are Jupyter notebooks so popular in research? Like some dude had an idea to take perfectly good markdown and python code, add a whole lot of transitional properties to make version control impossible, encode it as JSON on the assumption that a human could somehow look at it and make sense of countless escaped characters and base64 encoded data, create dedicated software people need to install in order to read what used to be simple plain text, and think "This. This is what 99% of data researchers will use from now on." And somehow, overwhelming majority of researchers agreed that this extremely inefficient data format is the best there is and they should develop all their tools around it.12
Bossman told me to give my project more hierarchy and to add all those weird __init__.py files.
I don,t quite like all those boring empty files, so anyone got some bri'ish language "innit?" jokes or other awful puns to add as comments?7
I did not think that making a serverless Discord bot would be such a learning experience. The code itself was easy. The hard part was the infrastructure, because I decided to automate it all with Terraform and deploy it on AWS.
Before this project, I had no idea how API Gateways worked. Now I still have very little idea how they work but I managed to build one anyway. Eventually. And then I had to figure out how to automate the deployment of a lambda layer and function that would both still be managed in the Terraform state, with any code changes triggering a rebuild and update for the resource.
And then I had to untangle a dependency mess because API Gateways have some weird issues where two resources that have no explicit dependencies on each other will throw an error if they don't deploy in the right order.
And then I went the wrong way with Github actions trying to conditionally chain multiple workflows together before I realized I could just put multiple jobs with conditions in a single workflow.
And now after all that work over the course of 2 days, I have a bot that does this:2
Learning Java Spring, their official documentation is a fucking mess. Can't get any useful information other than got dumped with loads of confusing terms/packages references/libraries.
baeldung blog site is better than the docs to some extend, but still, very fragmented information.
Ok enough ranting.. Any good learning resource recommendation? Forum?5
Project leader proceeds to put what is actually two separate issues in the title. I'm already raging. I go to take a look at it.
I read the description - ANOTHER (this makes it three now) totally seperate issue in there.
Just fuck you I'm so sick it i see it over and over again no matter where I go or what project I work on its all the same bullshit.
"wE wAnT tO cLeARlY dEfINe iSsUeS aNd MoVe RaPiDlY"
YEAH THEN F&Q*@#()#$(@)#$ DO YOUR F$*(@#(*&$ JOB!!!! I'M DOING MINE, IN ADDITION TO DOING YOURS, CLEANING UP YOUR ABSOLUTE MESS THAT YOU LEFT!!!!2
At my new internship I am have to work in Magento. I come to FUCKING hate it.
From the phtml files, the choice between caching or having to wait 20 fucking seconds for a page reload to the huge file structure and the "documentation".
The whole fucking thing is a mess with a shit load of bugs and confusing git tickets that never seem to be added as updates!!!
Fucking hate this shit
Today was a bad dev day working on a shitty React project. Not that React in itself is bad, but it can be hell to work with when the code is a big pile a crap full of anti pattern code. I spent the day refactoring to try to fix a bug, but to no avail. It would take days if not weeks to put some order in this mess and to prevent such bugs.5
docker, Dockerfiles - devops tools - amount of shell commands inside them and mangled && to make everything running in one file layer makes those unreadable mess that you need to think twice to understand, there is no debugger for it, you do everything with try and see what happens, there is actually no real dev toolset for devops and that sucks, since you got builder images that makes things more mangled than before, it’s clearly missing some external officially approved scripting language or at least
WITH LAYER and indentation / parentheses syntax and they still trying to make it flat, why are you doing that ?
as a result next to Dockerfile cause you can’t import multiple ones you get bunch bash scripts with mangled syntax and other crap that is glued together to make a monster - and this runs most of current software on this planet2
I hate these Mondays. You start really motivated after a nice weekend of seeing lots of old friends, but instead of your own work, you have to pick up the mess a coworker left for you while fleeing into holiday and because that's not frustrating enough, you try to review code from that new senior developer and get confronted with the probably most awful commit history someone ever managed to create.
Of course he also needed handholding and multiple trys to stop breaking like every coding convention we have for branch management...
I am still a junior and I feel pretty disappointed when being confronted with people being so..confused with stuff like git even though they have like 10 years of experience.
While I was still studying, I somehow imagined this industry to be much more...sophisticated?3
During these past few COVID year, I've (so far) managed to not actually get the 'rona (not as far as I know anyway).
You know what this whole mess HAS gotten me though?
Just over 200 movies in a queue to watch.
I'm gonna need another pandemic and lockdown just to get through all that shit! Which of course won't work because it just keeps growing now, never shrinks.
...which makes me think I've discovered a new virus: streaming movies... they sure as hell seem to replicate like a virus, don't they?3
I read: "Don't change your implementation to do tests"
Then I read: "If it's too hard to test, your implementation is too complex"
Then we can get into test terminology itself, which is its own mess:
I was 7 years old, and my mom’s friend brought me their old computer as a new year present. I was absolutely happy that day, because I wanted my own computer as far back as I can remember. I spent that evening exploring russian psychological (!) sex quiz (!!) with pictures (!!!) :D I found it on C:\
Actually no, there is an earlier memory. I was four, and I really wanted to mess around with my sis’ computer, it was some kind of holiday, maybe the new year as well. They won’t let me do it, and being an engineer, I took a rectangle-shaped candy box and made a “laptop” out of it. I remember drawing the screen, the icons and stuff. And plastic mold that actually handles candy, I turned upside down, and the candy cavities became sort of “buttons” I could press.2
When my brain was overloaded and overwhelmed during rapid-cycling bipolar disorder, my life and my thoughts were a complete mess. Somehow, when I heard or imagined plurals of certain words, like "cans" or "cups", my brain painted pictures of a cute civilization of living soda cans. They fought oppression that came from us humans, but lacked mental capacity to do so. I felt really sorry for them and wanted to help. The more ordinary the word were, the more striking effect it had on me.
The rapid-cycling fashion of bipolar disorder is often triggered by unfit prescription medicines. This kind of disorder is among the most lethal mental disorders there are, with a huge percentage of patients committing suicide.
If you can't make sense of your thoughts, if your emotional responses seem inadequate or too strong, to the point when you can collapse crying after some random thought, stop whatever you're doing and seek help. Ask friends and family to find you a psychiatrist, as by the time you need help, you may lack mental capacity or emotional resource to find a doctor by yourself. To me, even the idea of leaving my bedroom and going somewhere was painful to think about.
If your thoughts appear to be "put into your brain" against your own will, if they make no sense, don't attempt to make sense of them. They are nothing but a random noise produced by overwhelmed synapses.
I always hated in school computing lessons when the teachers pet students would snitch on you for getting around the school network stuff.
Many people in the lesson would always play games instead of doing what they were meant to. So the teacher turned off the internet in the room using the admin control stuff. Then when I found a way around it all so I could watch some educational YouTube videos, the stupid teachers pet would snitch on me. Luckily the teacher knew I wasn’t using it to mess around, always felt good when he said that I could access it because I’m the biggest security threat to the school.
Did you ever have issues with snitches in computing lessons?6
New office stories.
They use following channels as official communication channels
1. Google Hangouts (yes, living in 1800s)
2. WhatsApp groups (FUCK MY LIFE) Thankfully I am not part of any and will avoid actively.
3. Slack (heaven's sake some sense here).
And above that, they use Google Workplace for emails and office tools.
And now combine this mess with Apple. How inhumane my working conditions are.4
I just had a ptsd (not real ptsd) attack cause I remembered in one of my first jobs we had gulp, grunt AND webpack to build our angularjs project.
Did I fix that mess? Sure!
Will the memory of it stalk me until new year? Absolutely.1
Symfony is a mess. The source code is a mess with classes that are never in the right place. The book is a mess. It skips over things that pretty much break the project it's supposed to build.
Not only they haven't fixed it (current book is pretty much a rehash of last book), they think they can actually sell that crap.2
the environment in my home is very depressing (socially) . How can i change it?
this is not about being living in a small room with smells or something. this is about my family's social life and how it is impacting me.
living with mom and dad as a single child with extreme morals, moralist ideology and no/bitter relations is impacting me a lot.
i will try to cover some points that make us different from other people:
1. i come from a very nuclear family with my parents and me and no siblings. we have 2 cats though
2. we have always been poor and are still struggling. we don't a 4 wheeler, my dad closed his job to be a salesman and he doesn't earn enough for current expenses. we pay our bills from rents from shop and a room for rent on terrace. i am earning 5x my family now, so we are stable but being poor has always been a major impact for me
3. we follow this spritual philosopher/guru as our religion who preach good morals, various currently non existent ("but will be ruling the globe" ) practises and procedures . i am not much into them so i might explain them wrong, but from my 23 yo brain's understanding, some examples will be : extreme vegetarianism (no onion/garlic/egg) , no drinks/smoking , yoga, fasting, some communism/socialism philosophy, meditation , kirtana, etc
4. there is no love amongst my parents or their relatives. i don't know how we are living a loveless life. afaik , the relatives from both sides were bad and treacherous , they were the reasons for our struggles and now we hate them and they don't visit us.
among mom and dad :dad was never someone that mom loved, they just went with the family pressures, and since there was no way for mom to take a stand, she went with the hateful marriage, had me, they jointly struggled to keep me alive while hating each other and never even sleeping together, until i was a decent 23 yo earning by myself. they don't even have friends afaik.
5. cut to today, our lives revolve around not the love for one another but towards this stupid religion dictating the rules of our lives. there are 3 seperate rooms in which we 3 sleep, and mom dad gets into vicious fights on smallest of the things. i then jump in, trying to extinguish the fire by being even the louder voice. and end up hurting them and myself. at the same time , their bodies are now taking a toll : mom has some uterus/liver problems, dad is diabetic and one of our cat's legs don't work.
i just want to run away. i never had friends because they couldn't never relate with me, i didn't go to school picnics, didn't talked with girls, never got into discussions that people would find interesting.
i feel so seperated out from the world. i am an engineer by profession, i have a good number of people that knows me and respects me for my knowledge, but they end up mocking me for my social skills and different life rules when i try to be with them. and they are not at fault. i am the person that is the result of such a big messed up life.
their can't be another person on this planet that will be having a similar life situation, being loveless for so long. i don't see myself having a future at all : i am earning decent but what's the point?
i recently went to a trip with my friends. it was a fun little trip of 3 days. the people were : me, my friend of 9 years of friendship , my friend of 8 years of friendship, gf of the 9 yr friend and 2 stranger girls.
this was such an amazing environment for my brain : i never had a conversation with a girl for more than 10 mins. i envy my friends with gf kissing, going on trips , etc , but this.. this was awesome. the girls were chill , my 8 yof guy was a chick magnet and the setting was that he would woo the slimer girl while i would go with the short one. although nothing happened, i just observed how the guys and girls would talk and relate and how i am different.
it's my 2nd trip with friends, and its completely the same: i goto a trip, enjoy the best 6-7 days of my life, learn that i am very different from the world, that the world perceive of me as a very simple , naive person with limited social exposure, and that i have a very conservative beta male , moralist mamma's boy personna.
when i come home with these thoughts, i end up being angry , blaming them for this, because they are the ones who made me like this, weather due to their struggling life or just morals. and i end up being rude to them and being a sad regretful person.
i just broke my dad's phone because they were again fighting, being very loud and i wanted to end all this.
what should i do? can i change something? is it always going to be like this? who in this home can be happy with a shitty environment like this? will their be a girl that wants to see this mess by marrying me?6
So my ex broke up with me/ we decided to "go on a break" three months back. It didn't help that my ex is part of my close friend group and I'm obliged to run into them every other weekend.
None of my close friend group knows what transpired/that we dated.
They started dating someone new as soon as we went on a break.
As a part of new year, I decided to mentally move on. Now my ex is trying to reinsert themselves in my life (unsure in what capacity- as a friend/reltnshp).Today, I woke up dreaming about my ex and their new flame and feeling pretty disturbed. I don't know their status quo either as I haven't talked to my ex about it. (Just know it as friend group mentions them here and there)
I had initiated communication with my ex as I needed an advise (on phone) and they kind of self invited themselves to my place on weekend. How to cope with all this mess. I am unable to focus on my work because of this and my productivity is shot.
I just want to move on and date someone who makes me happy/is worth my energy.
How do y'all process breakups/get over ex?10
One good thing about the rona I'm guessing is employers would be more willing to let top performers go full blown remote.
Don't mess this up guys.
Questions to other freelances out there.
I suppose it's a common occurrence to be involved in some project, asked to add some feature or modify something, and then looking at the source and find an unmanageable burning mess.
If upon such a discovery you decide you're not taking the job - for example, given the situation you need to charge quite a lot more and the customer cannot pay the appropriate amount - how do you go on explaining your reasons?
You just go out directly telling them about the dire situation of their codebase? Try to find a nice way of telling the truth? Make some excuse (cannot because personal reasons)?
Job hunting is a flippin' mess for entry level grads in ME. Ngl am considering applying for masters in a different country:/2
The project needs to make bigger changes to a module. A guy starts doing the changes. It turns out that the task is bigger than we though originally. Team lead has a brilliant idea: you need help. So he'll assign couple of more guys to do the same change.
What's the catch? The catch is that we are now all changing the same files. The code is a mess and tweaks and hacks are needed all over the place. So basically one guy changes the files and others just watch YouTube and wait for him to commit. The it's your turn to change the files and the first guy watches PornHub.
You could all just try to edit the same files at the same time, but we all know how GIT feels about that. You change random lines, he changes random lines, someone else changes random lines, all merges go to shit, nothing works and we spend 2x more time on just trying to get it compiling again.2
You know you completely fucked up as a company, when your self-developed CMS is one huge unmaintainable hack and without any structure at fucking all.
It's just mindboggling how even such a complete mess can "attract" customers.
EXTREME STONKS 📈📈📈📈
(thankfully I am not related to that particular company which shall remain unnamed)2
Why is instagram so thoroughly broken and a user experience torture.
I know the standard answer of "As long as the core flows that hold up the popularity work, no one cares much", and yeah, true, but that's a reason for why no one fixes the broken stuff.
What I want to know is why is it so thoroughly broken in the first place? Granted, Facebook isn't the best of places but one would expect at least a certaim level of competency from a team coming from the same organisation that gave us React JS(even if Instagram did not originate there, they have been in the Zuck empire for a while now). Why do such thoroughly messed up UI/UX and features get pushed to prod in a company that has the time, resources, and talent to do things professionally(read: better than the mess that instagram is). Not to mention a fuck ton of missing simple features that would make using it much better experience (JUST LET ME AT LEAST COPY COMMENTS GODFRKINDAMNIT IF ENABLING EDITING COMMENTS WILL COST YOU YOUR FIRSTBORN'S SOUL)
Maybe I am somewhat biased since I use Instagram desktop more than the mobile app, but my point should still stand.2
Wow I can't believe how anyone can be using jhipster. I have to upgrade project that uses it from 6.0 to like 7.3.0 and holly shit
Jhipster tool is so useless. All it does is creating some mess in the directory, throwing error and leaving messed up project WITH CHANGED GIT HISTORY
WTF why is this even a thing1