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I know I should not be naming names but WalmartLabs Hackfest 2016 was actually a fuckfest. It was supposed to be a 14 day online hackathon followed by an offline event for top teams. I got in top 6 among the 4350 participants.
In the offline event:
1. They didn't allow us to give live demo of the project. Instead they asked us to present a ppt. The HR idiot even asked me to take screenshots of my cli app and put that in instead.
2. 4 out of the 6 teams actually presented their startup products. It was supposed to be a 14 day hackathon for fucks sake. How can you present some shit that you were working on for the last 1.5 years! This one team literally had "Copyright 2015" mentioned on their product page. This another team had 100,000+ downloads on his app already. Of course Walmart didn't care about it. They didn't listen to my complaint. I wish I had created a scene there :( Another team was boasting on stage about how they got selected in the FB startup accelerator and how they won 3 more hackathon (evidently equally shit) using their shit. This was met with praises from the judges.
3. The results were declared after 3 fucking months! Don't organize this shit next time if you don't have any interest, bitch.
4. The code was supposedly never checked. Other teams kept working on their shit for the 3 months in between. In the live presentation, this guy even had photoshopped a feature which wasn't even present there (and he boasted about it later on).
5. Hackerearth (platform for the hackathon) was equally incompetent in this mishap of a hackathon. One of the teams which won had one the previous hackathon (Pluralsight hackathon) as well on Hackerearth using the same fucking product. What pieces of shit >.<
6. The hackathon was supposed to be tech based and all the categories were like that. Instead the teams presented business models and shit like that and judges focused more on that. They were not concerned about the technical aspects at all. The more noise you made, the more lies you told, the better chance you had to win it.
7. They were supposed to give prizes in 4 categories but silently reduced it to 3 on the event day. They still publicised it as 4 prizes until now.
All of the above is true and I am willing to testify if someone asks for it. I am going to write a nice blog post about it and post it to their idiot HR.
Hackathon: WalmartLabs Hackfest 2016
Team name: psyduck (which is just me)
Sorry for being too salty but it was indeed a fuckfest.16
Teacher: Make a PPT presentation on *blah blah* with no animations or colors and present it next week.
I go and connect my laptop and open my presentation in a PDF file.
Teacher: Wait! You are using pdf. I said ppt.
Me: Yeah, you said no animations and a pdf file is much lighter than a ppt file.
Teacher: you are disqualified!
(As a CS student in University)
Teacher 1: I am a new teacher and have an electrical subject and I know you guys hate this and love coding so we will code whatever we study in python so you can actually understand what we are studying
Teacher 2: I am a senior teacher and have an super important computer science subject , I will fuck everything up come to lectures read a ppt that I didn't even make and read the ppt in the most monotonous manner humanly possible and fuck everything up and steal your work if your research with me7
So, as the lead UX/UI designer, I was working with the marketing officer on the new e-mail template of the company. It took us at least one week to get a good settle – 'cause, you know, she's so skilled on that – doing back and forth and arguing on every detail.
Then she sent me a PPT file with the content and wording for each kind of e-mail.
After 3 days of work, I finished implementing the template and pushed the project in production.
~3 months later
MO: How's your work going on the template?
Me: Erm, sorry? You mean, the e-mails?
MO: Yes! Can you show me the result?
Me: Well, the result is online for...like...3 months?
*Surprised* MO: Hum, yeah? But I didn't validate it!
*Wince* Me: Well, yes, you did, we worked together on it and we finally found a nice settle.
MO: Yes, but the content? Can you send me one of each kind so I can double-check?
*to the rescue* CEO (and husband of MO): It's OK, I've already validate them.
MO: Oh, ok. But I want to double-check. I'll do it later, ok.
~3 weeks later
MO: Can you tell me how I can receive the registration e-mail?
*to the rescue, joking* CTO: Well, did you try to turn your computer off and on again?
MO: Oh, you really think this will work? Let me save my work first!
TL;DR: The marketing officer of my company does nothing productive and is making the company losing a lot of money, but she also make me lose my time for bullshits.
At least I can laugh about it on devRant.2
This happens so often!
*Lecturer teaching using a ppt*
A slide with literally one basic understandable sentence on it : unnecessarily discussed for 20 min.
A slide with actual important stuff,graphs, definitions charts etc. : Skipped in 5 sec 😑3
Had a project intro ppt at college. Panel of 3. I spent hours on making a 47 slide ppt, trying to make sure that the ppt was simple and lucid enough for them to understand and also enjoy. They did not listen to a single word i said. Before one of them even understood the title, she started questioning me. And she kept questioning and questioning. But she never listened to my answers. She asked one question, and as soon as I said one word, she started another question. The other two kept nodding or looking bored or even fucking talking among themselves. The funny thing was, my ppt had all the answers. If she had bothered listening, she never would not have needed to ask anything. And in the middle of their senseless questioning, they all started talking about how their fucking tea needed sugar😡😡😡😡
I have lost all motivation to work on the project.1
Every time I hear my boss say "surely it can't be that hard" or "that's what, like a 5 minute job?"
Show a pre recorded video of ur product during a ppt rather than a live demo. There are literally zero chances of fuckups.. Saved me quite a few embarrassments.1
An hour before my Mathematical Expression and Reasoning for Computer Science final...
Have reviewed all the material available but past exams are useless because new_prof == new_format.
This is not even a rant, I'm just scared because to get into the major I need an average between this and programming of 82. I fucked up in the second midterm and got a 50/100. Everything was so perfect (at least above 80) and now I need more than 70 in this final. I'm feel I can get more than 70 but I had the same feeling during the midterm I fucked up.25
devRant already replace SoundCloud as my orange app in the main screen...
To be fair, SoundCloud was just there to complete the rainbow.
Rant: this app told me that my rant would be safe if I closed the Post Rant window (since I can't post more than one rant per hour or something) but it didn't save my awesome tags! I feel betrayed.23
I propose a list of interesting readings. Not limited to developing.
Yes, I'm in need of something new to read...
I'll start in the comments, feel free to comment new readings or critique the ones proposed.29
I'm in 3rd year of my CS degree....
Fucking Indian Education System
I'm having a subject css(cryptography & system security)... The bitch who teaches us doesn't know shit.... She just picks random words from the ppt & blabber random bullshit...
Last week we had our unit tests...and the question was explain Working of deffie-helman. Just because I didn't use the names Alice & Bob in the example she didn't gave me marks....I mean wtf..that was just an example mentioned in the slides.....
I bet it wasn't required at all...
I knew most of the things they teach here..
These mofo professors have just a CS degree and they are here to teach the same course....10
4th grade. My parents left for the night and got a babysitter for me and my younger siblings. The babysitter showed me a game she likes in IE. You could make an account, raise a digital pet, a "neopet," play flash games for points to buy items from other users who listed them in their own stores that had custom css/html, including bg music. This was the first time I had really witnessed what the web could look like. Animated tiled gif bgs really amazed me so I took to google with which I discovered sites where one could copy css and html snippets for themes. I stored each new html tag I discovered via w3cschools.com in a powerpoint where the snippets I found were pasted somewhere randomly in the ppt. From there I learned html, CSS, and a billion other things. To date I've made websites, apps with several langs in win/Linux/osx/Android (but not ios yet). I've managed servers, and databases , and DNS records. I've in even ran website with 100k requests a day.3
I just saw the equalizer 2 at the cinema and about half way through there is a phone with "military grade encryption" on it. We see the phone screen showing the encryption and what is it? Freaking JQuery!3
I gotta say, I actually admire the work that content creators must go thru to make quality content.
So as I stated before I’m working on YouTube channel, under the name “TheSoftwareSage” ... to create tutorials and a way of me teaching software the way I believe it should be taught, not how the mainstream methods of today are.
Bottom up approach rather than top down
(Must start with a firm understanding of the foundation.. and build upon the knowledge as we go thru the layers of abstraction but the key concepts must be understood first)
Anyway, I’m working on this in my spare time and I was not aware of how much effort I would actually need todo this right haha. At first I figured I’d just screencast a monitor and have a ppt or text editor or terminal open and that stuff and just do it.
As In person with my interns I never have “planned” lessons or content is all impromptu based on the need at the time and I just go with it, with their computers and a whiteboard lol.
I was wrong for video recording lol... maybe it’s OCD... or perfectionism, I’ll make a video, review it like 5times and then be like shit I forgot to mention this or that or I didn’t like how I explained this or that
I keep worrying too much about colors, and sound levels and quality and transitions and video angles and all this other shit.
And then post editing fuck.... I’m about ready to say fuck it and “do it live .. one shot” and just upload the end result.
I guess this would be in the content world similar to our “paralysis analysis” notion.10
In my classes whatsapp group
*posts a ppt*
person 1:how do I open it?
person 2:use adobe reader
me:*bangs head in the wall*1
After ten years of working sh*t jobs I finally got the chance to study CompSci at a top university... All the kids look at me as if I've been programming for years, truth is I just study a lot because my scholarship requires me to get B+ or above.
I have a new personal project that I hope I'll share with you guys one day. It just came to me. A fog simulation for a window manager such that it has fog behind the transparent console while you code and the fog goes in front when the terminal is locked. How about it?2
I'm a backend developer and one day my team lead asked me to make a architecture diagram of our system, which he had to put in a PPT and demo it to a client. I did it for 15-20 minutes. And I completely hated doing it. I went and said "I will not do it". He then just took it from me and did it.. which he is supposed to. Felt very Very good doing that!!1
Got my first job, 3rd year student from my country took me in to help making an app for a company in Texas... All the other guys are from 4th year or graduate school. Feeling nervous, let's hope I don't fuck up.2
Today I tried to make an asp.net app and publish it to iis all without the help of Visual Studio. This is teribly difficult!
Then I had a great idea for website to store my .ppt and .doc files (and other school shit) with mongodb and tried node.js as backend. Holy shit did I really host everything all in 10 lines of js!?!?!!! Comment some great tutorials.
Me: I've never been so long without exercising (since before this, my first winter), I should get in shape now that this God forsaken weather is finally reaching livable levels.
(some time later at the gym)
Also me: You've always been in good shape, why stop with just chest, let's do some arms and shoulders.
(48 hours later, Monday morning)
I had to turn my whole torso to look if any car was coming while walking to the library, moved like terminator because of the massive neck muscle pain, suffered through the pain of setting up all my study material to the realize (just now) I can't even fucking look down to my notebook... Can I be more stupid?1
This was shit funny.
One morning, one of my colleagues got a direct call from project architect that he has to setup a meeting to explain in depth the project he has been taking care of for months and prepare a presentation and send an invite. Two weeks later we are all invited to this meeting. This colleague acting as host of this meeting prepared for few days on the PowerPoint and also a well crafted demo. Then as the architect joins, this colleague starts speaking about his role and the project. Within a minute, the architect interrupts him and says 'shut the fuck up, I don't think you are ready yet for this meeting maybe we need someone more learned...so hmm....let me explain it'. And this architect then uses his PPT for sometime and then pulls up a whiteboard and draws birds and spiders telling every time to see system in it.
My colleague is screwed to shit and is incapable to speak when closing the call.
Later ahead 4 weeks, his PPT is retouched and recoloured and attached to a Wiki page created by a unknown fucker who happens to have direct mobile calls with this architect.
Who's is faulty or not or what happened it still shocks most when this architect joins the scrum call daily. Fuck him.1
OMG... I want to thank my mother for changing my diapers for many years, my brother for all the games he no longer plays, my wife for actually making money, my plant for the awesome smell, God for maybe doing something (I guess), thanks @dfox, @trogus, and each one of you guys that deemed my rants worthy of your ++.1
I had my second interview today with the director .. He seems to be nice at first.. when he asked me do you read books I honestly said I don’t...he then asked me if I had like programming books with me.. I said no since all the lectures are all in ppt ... and I believe that is enough during colllege.. and they didn’t require us to have books.. I just felt that .. he did not like me just because of that..I like the company but I guess being honest also kills the opportunity..the second interview mainly focuses on fitting with the company culture...I just thought the interview went really fast.. It just seemed that they had this “ahh next!!” Kind of attitude when I left the room15
I learned C with a K&R copy a friend gave me years ago. Now at University we in CompSci get taught in Python the first year and Java next while the engineers start with C and (I'm guessing) move on to assembly later on.
This friend comes to me all worried because he has to submit the next day a working Reversi game for the console written in C. Turns out the game was divided among two labs and he failed to submit the first one.
The guy is smart but once a week or so, when we met to smoke a joint and relax with some other friends, he was always talking about how he would prefer something like law but that would be bad business back in Egypt.
Back to the game, I get completely into it. First hour checking all the instructions he was given, then reviewing the code he wrote and copied from Internet. We decide start from scratch since he doesn't really get what the code he copied do. It took us 10 hours only stopping to eat but we get all the specifications of both labs perfectly.
A week after that he comes to me: "my TA said your code is the ugliest shit he's ever seen but he gave me a perfect score because it passed all the tests". I'm getting better (the courses I'm taking help me a lot) but what really made me happy is that he solved the next lab by himself (Reversi wasn't the first time I helped him, only the first time he was absolutely lost). Now he actually gets excited about coding and even felt confident for his programming final.
No more talking about being a lawyer after those 10 hours, totally worth it.1
After 8 hours of carefully installing Gentoo in my laptop I ended up with a... Completely unusable OS. Guess I'll try again tomorrow, apparently I didn't set up the kernel with the appropriate drivers.2
I just really want to pluck my eyes out...
My sister is abroad for a music festival where she is attending as a speaker.
Her speech got almost ready at the last moment. The slideshow presentation was sloppy cause she gave some half-assed points to put. I saved the files (PDF and PPT) on her laptop and on her USB stick, I didn't keep any copies for me. She rehearsed her speech and I added some more points to enrich it and fill a bit more time. When she got there, she messaged me if it was possible to add those extra points to the presentation. I asked her to e-mail me the new points and the presentation on time (which it didn't happen), expecting a file attached to the e-mail. And guess what:
SHE FREAKIN' TYPED EVERYTHING EXCEPT OF THE TITLE!!!
AND NOW I HAVE TO REDO THE WHOLE PRESENTATION!!!
I can't facepalm myself hard enough to hop onto another universe...1
I have been developing this bias in my mind about people with MBA degrees/ Management roles.
Like for example, I can't deal with my managers who has no programming expertise, but they are there just because they have a huge work ex(idk in sitting and playing on phone?) or have an MBA degree.
I feel in a tech company; management, ppt, excel people should be eliminated. I'm not saying all the roles but just a few who have little to no contribution.
When a team works on it's own and delivers and maintains the system. It's these managerial people who take credits. It's these people who get hikes more than necessary.
For years, developers are treated like call center people, like sheeps, they aren't valued, and are highly underpaid!
Do you think MBA people will be jobless if we empower developers to the point where we won't need MBA degree holders with "Time Management" as their core skills written in LinkedIn Profiles?
What makes Managerial roles so special?
Correct me if my bias is wrong.
P.S. This whole rant was about MNC's in India. I can't tell for other countries.2
Sometimes I need to talk about what I create. Which requires fucking Powerpoint 'cause you have to distribute your shit to dorks who only can live with this crap.
And then every single fucking time I touch that stinking abscess I have visions of shoving some white glowing rod of spiky steel up the arseholes of the inventors and maintainers of Powerpoint, enjoying their screams and regretting that I will be able to enjoy this exquisite pleasure only once per asshole.3
First you code, than manger asks you to prepare a ppt to explain it to non tech people.
Suck in demands.2
- the 2 hr meeting called for every day of a week, to prepare for a PPT which is to be presented to a higher up exec within 5 mins.
- the sprint planning meeting, where all the stories of that sprint are already weighted and assigned to the devs, but it still goes for 2 hrs
- the backlog grooming meeting, where instead of looking at the sprint backlog, the current sprint is looked at and discussed.
I like the settings on my phone as dark as the dungeons with Geralt and a torch or the awesomely dumb flashlight from Doom 3.12
Windows ffs stop shoving your fucking updates into my ass. It was prompting me to restart computer for 6 fucking hours and it never gave a fucking option to postpone the update beyond one fucking hour. So I literally kept postponing it every fucking hour and went for a shower. By the time I returned it was updating it. I had more than 25 tabs opened on incognito window of chrome and atleast 8 Microsoft office files open and editing atleast 4 of them. It fucking ruined my work flow and I don't even remember the locations of the files I was referring. Who is going to open all those tabs and files. Ffs what is wrong with you WINDOWS. I AM SO PISSED OFF AT WINDOWS AND MY UNI THAT DOESN'T FUCKING ACCEPT ASSIGNMENTS IF THEY ARE NOT IN DOCX, PPT AND OTHER MICROSHIT'S CRAPPY PRODUCTS. I AM NOT IN A MOOD TO DO THE ASSIGNMENT NOW. FUCK WINDOWS. I SWER BY THE Old GODS AND THE NEW THAT I WILL CONTRIBUTE TO WINE IN THE NEXT 5 TO 6 MONTHS SO THAT I DON'T HAVE TO USE WINDOWS AGAIN.3
Prof ranting about me cause I asked why he had an increase of 3.5dB when doubling voltage on his ppt. Told me I should have searched online to get why it is 3.5dB
YOU FUCKING RETARD IT IS 3.01 AND YOU CAN CALCULATE THAT1
Just enrolled myself in Andrew Ng's Machine Learning course at Coursera for the summer, is it a good place to start? Any recommendations?
What Software do you guys use for drawing (beautiful!) architecture diagrams (Layer Diagrams) for complex software?
I know the standard tools for UML Modelling (starUML, UMLet, even Visio/ppt etc.), but drawing components is not really sexy with them (especially, when it comes ro including logos,...)😃
Are there any good tutorials for using gimp/inkscape or even own tools for this?5
Not only can I not download the attachments in bulk from my Outlook account, but the download button opens a new f*cking tab where I have to click download again after it fully loads the whole page. I'd gladly use this shit software if for every attached file I download a wrench would tighten on the genitals of the idiot that design it.4
I found my old ppt for my senior year project (A hackerrank or leetcode clone).
My love for minimalistic graphics started back then.
Kevin and I work together on a deep learning project. We have to present our initial literature survey to the review panel, in preparation for that after preparing the presentation (ppt) , we needed to prepare for presentation i.e cut hair shave beard (that's the preparation most developers toil at) and to top that we need to wear formal clotihing ! (yeah! you heard that right ironed formal pan formal cloth).
Kevin went to the barber shop for a hair cut and planned it later. The barber was an unemployed mechanical engineer ( a prerequisite for the story ahead) he casually started asking kevin some personal questions which included questions about his stream in engineering , project etc etc.
When he got to know about deep learning project we were working on.
He with so much hypocrisy, prejudice started belittling our project and also all developer about how they just copy-past code from github, etc etc. Also about how he also' can build website and stated that developer make money by just copy-paste job and about how majority of developers are just douchbag and told my friend to regret on not taking other vocation.
I am gonna go to his shop tommorow let me know, how to respond to that jerk.
I am gonna make his ears bleed, thats for sure.4