Do all the things like ++ or -- rants, post your own rants, comment on others' rants and build your customized dev avatarSign Up
Get a devDuck
Rubber duck debugging has never been so cute! Get your favorite coding language devDuckBuy Now
Search - "fuck it i'm out"
"It's simple, it shouldn't take you more than five minutes."
How in Mary's STD-ridden "virgin" cunt would you fucking know that? Why did you come to me? Because you don't know how the hell these problems are even solved — yet you know exactly how long it'll take me?
Do I tell you how long it'll take you to suck off fat fucks at your favourite glory hole? Subtle hint: No, because I don't know and I'm not your fucking pimp, you moldy piece of shit!
Keep your useless estimates to yourself. If you were half the man your mother is, you'd ask me whether I can do it in 5 minutes, instead of just adopting the client's opinion and wishes with a straight face, because you're afraid to say no.
It won't take 5 minutes. It will take as long as it takes plus an hour, because I don't like your fucking face anymore, and you'll pay every single cent of it. If you don't like that, consult me first next time, BEFORE telling the clients stupid fairy tales, or piss off with your idiotic estimates that you pulled out of your ass altogether.
25 phrases you wish you could say at work more often
(Warning: Contains naughty words...:-)))
1. Ahhh...I see the fuck-up fairy has visited us again...
2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
3. How about never? Is never good for you?
4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.
6. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
7. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message...
8. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
9. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying.
10. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of shit.
11. I like you. You remind me of me when I was young and stupid.
12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
13. I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't give a damn.
14. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
16. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
17. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
18. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
19. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?
20. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
21. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.
22. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
23. No, my powers can only be used for good.
24. You sound reasonable... Time to up the medication.
25. Who me? I just wander from room to room19
I'm getting more and more pissed off about people here on devRant who are actively censoring themselves. This is fucking devRant — it's meant to be a ranting platform, and good ranting occasionally calls for a hefty motherfucking swear word, goddamned.
Replacing random characters of a swear word with asterisks is fucking stupid and accomplishes nothing. You still meant it, and isn't it poor to mean what you don't write/say?
Either fucking swear or don't, but leave out this half-arsed shit. It's neither c*nt nor cu*t, it's CUNT, allright?
Also, if you really think that you're going to that fairy tale place called hell if you don't write 'Gosh' instead of God, you should at least quit writing it with an uppercase G, otherwise I can't take you seriously, not evenbgod would, if he existed. Don't tell me that you don't mean to say 'God' in the first place, and since you mean it, why not say it directly?
If 'god' forbids you to swear, you're a fucking hypocrite if you exchange the word, because it means the same, it just looks and sounds stupid as fuck.
Goddamn, motherfucking horse shit, swear right or go fuck yourselves.50
FUCK YOU SHITTY FUCKING DICK HEAD!!!.. I'M FUCKING TIRED OF YOUR FUCKING BULLSHIT ABOUT "YOU'RE A PROGRAMMER... YOU MUST KNOW HOW TO USE PHOTOSHOP!"... OR "SUCH A SHITTY PROGRAMMER YOU ARE... DON'T YOU KNOW HOW TO FIX MY COMPUTER"... OR "CAN YOU MAKE ME AN APP?... IT'S LIKE OTHER APP BUT BETTER, I CAN'T GIVE YOU MORE DETAILS BECAUSE IT'S CONFIDENCIAL, SO YOU GOT TO DO IT WHIT OUT KNOWING WHAT THE FUCK YOU HAVE TO DO"... GO TO FUCK YOURSELF WITH A TRUCK FULL OF DONKEYS FUCKING IDIOT!!!... STOP TALKING BULLSHIT AND GET AND FUCKING LIFE YOU ASSHOLE!!!... sorry about my english for those who read27
The marketing department is right next door to my office, and to make room for their new intern, a very high end, large, and noisy printer was 'temporarily' placed in my office. I'm a reasonable person though, and didn't mind this. The salespeople figured out that it makes commercial grade printouts, so for their various presentations and whatnot, they'll print enormous numbers of pages on this thing, and basically use my office as a motherfucking water-cooler. After a few weeks of this, I logged into the printer from my computer, and set it to disallow all connections from MAC addresses other than those in the marketing department, who print far less material on their own, special, dedicated printer. Absolute fucking chaos ensued. Grown men were brought to tears, ultimatums were made, and blood was shed. The hardware guys were down here for over an hour, making up absolute bullshit as to why it wasn't working(which really surprised me).
Long story short, cut off access to printer, sit back and watch the true face of humanity emerge. Seriously, fuck those guys. They have their own goddamn printer.7
Yes, Google, I'm pretty motherfucking sure that's a goddamn traffic sign, because it says "STOP" in big ass, glaring letters, bigger than your mom's big, bolshy yarbles At least fucking 20% of it extend right into exactly the fucking square I clicked, as sure as your mom's blood type is 50% cheap scotch and 50% butter.
GO FUCK YOURSELF!
Captchas are so enfuriatingly fucking annoying! I want to behead the fucker who first came up with it, then use his hollowed out skull as a pissoir.28
A "support" guy my boss got in. I had told my boss numerous times, "Get rid of this guy, he's only wasting our time and money. And he's going to end up doing something where we will end up having to put out the fires."
Sure as a pair of nuts on a squirrel, this crazy bastard goes and DELETES a client's database. Yes folks, in fucking production. A live database. The heart of the business' transactions are... *poof*... GONE!!!
No backups for the day! No synchronisation beforehand! No nothing... just GONE!!! Fucking flat-lining!
Well, when I realised what he has done, I had to remove myself from the room before shit got outta hand!
I told the boss man that is the last straw and he needs to go...
The long and short of it...
- The client had luckily only lost about half a days data.
- I'm no longer at the company.
- This dumb fuck still is.19
Do not continue reading if you value your life.
Visual fucking studio 2015 installation. MOTHERFUCKER !!!
OK new project will only work on VS2015. Need to download it. OK, go to MS website. Project works with community edition. Fucking great. Download the installer. Run the installer. MOTHERFUCKER DON'T OPEN THE FUCKING BROWSER TO THANK ME, YOU FUCKING FUCK. Ok...Wait to download the packages. One fucking eternity later download completes. FUCKING GREAT. Proceed to package installation. After two fucking hours installation progress bar stays the same. Google "vs 2015 installation stuck windows 7". MOTHERFUCKING BACKGROUND PROCESS IS FUCKING STUCK AND INSTALLATION DOES NOT CONTINUE. FUCK YOU. I'VE LOST TWO HOURS. OK, stop the process. Installation gets cancelled. Run the installer again. STOP THANKING ME YOU PIECE OF SHIT :@ OK, check again all downloaded packages. All good. Continue with installation. Installation completes. MOTHERFUCKER WHY YOU WANT TO RESTART THE WHOLE SYSTEM ? FUCK YOUR WINDOWS UPDATES. Ok, restart and be done with it. SSD to the rescue. Try to set up the project.
MOTHERFUCKER I DIDN'T INSTALL THE C++ PACKAGES. WTF WERE YOU DOING ALL THAT TIME? OK, run installer again and install C++ packages. I SWEAR TO GOD MICROSOFT, IF YOU THANK ME ONE MORE GODDAMN TIME, YOU'RE GETTING HATE MAIL.
Ok, installation completes. It's coding time. NO BITCH. VS2015 silently crashes after splash screen. :@@@ Google wtf is wrong again, turns out the C++ packages fuck shit up. Ok, pass some arguments to devenv.exe to reset. Restart VS. Ok, seems to be working now. Make a test project. Fucking awesome. Close VS and get the project files from perforce.
OK, files downloaded. Open VS again....
VS: "You're my bitch, you won't code today. Run from console and pass some shitty reset parameters"
YOU FUCKING FUCK. GO FUCK YOURSELF UP YOUR FUCKING ARSE. Ok, pass the parameters from console. Run again. Same "you're my bitch message" :@ OK, run with administrator rights, opens like charm. Run without admin rights again, "you're my bitch message". :@@@@@
Restart system, VS2015 finally opens project normally. Build project, 6934 errors.... :@ I'M DONE ! IM GOING BACK TO LINUX PROJECT. FUCK YOU ALL.19
I know this generally isn't a well-received topic, but fuck it – this pisses me off, so I 'm gonna have at it:
WHY THE FUCK, do an estimated 95% of all people who create English tutorials on development and programming use so many redundant terms while teaching?
I said it already, and I'll say it again, I don't buy your fucking blabbering about keeping it DRY as long as you – just one fucking sentence later! – drop bombs like 'let's extract it out'. That's tautological as fuck, you goddamn moron! The definition of extracting is literally, FUCKING LITERALLY, to take something OUT OF something else, so adding 'out' is not particularly DRY, is it?
You can stop compiling things 'down', there is no fucking compiling 'up', so there is no need at all for that fucking suffix. You can also stop 'returning back' things! Returning something implies it goes back, you fucking blockhead, just like combining and adding things implies that they will become one, so save yourself the suffix 'together', even if you added it for the sole sake of having uttered three extra syllables, in order to sound more sophisticated. You don't, on the contrary, you sound like a confounded fucking idiot to everybody who doesn't hate and butcher their language like you.
One more thing that really annoys the fuck out of me is when new sentences begin with 'so what we're gonna do is, we're gonna […]'. You can fucking leave out the whole first part of that sentence, Mr. Pleonasm.
And you can neither abstract something 'away', nor deconstruct something 'apart', and delegation usually means passing tasks 'down' in a hierarchy, so there is no need to mention that either, just like using 'as well' and 'too' the same sentence is FUCKING REDUNDANT!
Of course I could try to ignore it, but it makes me fucking mad, and ruins whole courses and tutorials for me, because it diverts me and destroys my focus with every pseudo-sophisticated, redundant term that follows.
Yes, language constantly evolves, but if this is the trend then we should add a large ass 'D' in front of 'evolution of human language'. And also yes, I'm talking about native speakers here, mainly US Americans. Keep it DRY, my arse. Learn English, you fucking morons!18
I keep my git histories clean.
Some of my coworkers, let's call them Jack and Jill, do not.
Jack, Jill, and I share a branch. They apply patches on top of this branch to make the code work in special environments. I pull from this branch and build my component against it.
Today, I did git fetch and noticed that the branch had been force-updated.
Huh... this branch doesn't compile correctly...
I spend some time trying to figure out what's wrong, then I see that the force push was required because they just completely dropped a patch from the history. That patch happened to make some API changes, as patches occasionally do. I'm guessing that they just pushed from a local branch that had old history + a bunch of their hacks on top of it.
The patch was also big, since to make the API change you also have to update the use in every single test.
So I email them, asking why they had done the force push, and why they had dropped this patch that my component needs to compile. (This patch had been in master for awhile now). I also asked them to please restore the patch and any others that they had accidentally dropped.
Jack responds: "oh, yeah, I needed to do the force push because our component had a bug in it and I needed to update something. I tried to cherry pick the patch that I dropped, but it's too many files to resolve conflicts with so I'm not going to do it."
Jill responds: "we don't really have time to do to this work, can you apply the patch yourself?"
...but this wouldn't have happened if you had... you're the ones who... this patch was already merged...
FUCK YOU. You think I'm less busy than you are? You think I have time to CLEAN UP AFTER YOU because you don't have a FUCKING CLUE how to use git? Your mistake has caused a problem, and now you're going to try to put the consequences on ME? FUCK OFF! I'M DONE WORKING WITH YOU!
...but I want to keep my job. ):12
So, this coworker of mine just said I'll never be a good programmer because I was looking for an answer on Stackoverflow, instead of figuring it out by myself.
Yeah, Satan. I'm sorry if I wasn't born knowing everything about a language I started learning a month ago.
I just remembered something that really pissed me off when I started freelancing that I need to get rid of, so I can stop thinking about it. This is going to be a long one, the TLDR is read the whole fucking thing or piss off right away.
I told him my daily rate which was 360€ at the time. He took it without the blink of an eye and started explaining what he wanted me to do, but the motherfucker was already setting me up to ass rape me financially.
All in all I estimated about four to five days of work, plus half a day to set everything up in the end, but it was one of my first jobs, so I told him four days (never do that, by the way! Honestly calculate what your work is worth and always take more than that, so you're on the safe side).
I started and when I was half through he asked me whether I'd do another job for 500€. I was confused and told him my daily rate was only 360€, as communicated before. He played the nervous guy and asked, so 720€ for both projects? Then I finally understood: he wanted me to do all the work for 360€, plus another job. When I explained to him how much I would be charging him in the end, he declined, and said "Okay, we'll only do this project then, for 360€, as we agreed upon." I told him to go fuck himself and asked him to pay for all four day upfront or he'd never see the results. He declined.
That cock knocker honestly thought I'd go for it, because he mistook me for a desperate, little idiot who needed the money. The latter was true, but I didn't go for it. Instead I talked to the project manager he had made the mistake to tell me about, told him how that arsehole had tried to fuck me over and he told me the guy had already estimated my exact rate, five days.
So he wanted to fuck me over paying me for only one day, have me do all the work, play the project manager without doing anything and then receive his part of the deal plus most of what would been mine.
They through the cunt out, expelled him from the project, and even offered to prosecute him for fraud. But I didn't want the fucker to ruin my reputation by talking shit about me to mutual business acquaintances which he could have done easily, because he had a better and more frequent connection with to as a sales guy, so they didn't.
The best thing is, after they through him out, I took the job myself and got paid my fair share. The agency has been one of my clients ever since and I've never had any reason to complain about them here.
To be honest, I don't quite like happy endings in movies, but that's how it happened.33
A recruiter just called me three times in a row withing 5 minutes, apparently hanging up each time after after ringing once.
WHAT THE FLYING RAT'S CUNT?
If you want people to take your fucking slave jobs, cutting their fuse short by getting on their tits every few few minutes will only achieve you ending up in the gutter with several deep, gaping stab wounds – if I ever find out where the fuck you live that is.
The most maddening thing is, I wasn't aware it was a fucking recruiter, I just thought there might be an accident or emergency somewhere, so I called back, being greeted by some fucktard who pretended to be surprised by me, not only calling them back, but calling them at all.
YOU CALLED ME, YOU PIECE OF SHIT!
That's what I actually told him, plus to go fuck his mongoloid brother with a strap-on dildo just like his dad used to do him.
I don't even know, neither do I want to, what 'amazing and unique opportunity' this fucking lying shithead had allegedly lined up for me 'exclusively', because it's most likely washing dishes or Java and fucking 'Ahngoolah' once again.
I'm so fucking sick of recruiters and their scammy ways of 'exciting' people into forgetting they're disgusted by recruiters for a fucking minute, so they can lie without consequence. I wish they'd all die slowly suffocating, their lungs filled with their own blood and feces.22
Hey frontend developers. If you do THIS:
...expecting that it will ensure your div will be on top no matter what, I'm about to fuck your world up. Check this shit out:
The university system is fucked.
I've been working in this industry for a few years now, but have been self taught for much longer. I'm only just starting college and I'm already angry.
What does a college degree really mean anymore? From some of the posts I've seen on devRant, it certainly doesn't ensure professional conduct, work ethic, or quality (shout out to the brave souls who deal with the lack of these daily). Companies should hire based on talent, not on a degree. Universities should focus more on real world applications or at least offer such programs for students interested in entering the workforce rather than research positions. A sizable chunk of universities' income (in the U.S. at least) comes from research and corporate sponsorships, and educating students is secondary to that. Nowadays education is treated as a business instead of a tool to create value in the world. That's what I signed up for, anyway - gaining the knowledge to create value in the world. And yet I along with many others feel so restricted, so bogged down with requirements, fees, shitty professors, and shitty university resources. There is so much knowledge out there that can be put to instant practical use - I am constantly shocked at the things left out of my college curriculum (lack of automated tests, version control, inadequate or inaccurate coverage of design patterns and philosophies) - things that are ABSOLUTELY essential to be successful in this career path.
It's wonderful that we eventually find the resources we need, or the motivation to develop essential skills, but it's sad that so many students in university lack proper direction through no fault of their own.
Fuck you, universities, for being so inflexible and consistently failing to serve your basic purpose - one of if not the most important purpose on this earth.
Fuck you, corporations, for hiring and paying based on degree. Fuck you, management, for being so ignorant about the industry you work in.
Fuck you, clients, who treat intelligent people like dirt, make unreasonable demands, pull some really shady shit, and perpetuate a damaging stereotype.
And fuck you to the developer who wrote my company's antipattern-filled, stringy-as-all hell codebase without comments. Just. Fuck you.16
I've had this twice in a very short period of time now and it really pisses me the fuck off.
Sitting in the train (I think the grammatically correct version is on the train but no that would be a little too dangerous for me I think), on my phone devRanting/Signalling/Rioting around when an an elderly person says (aiming towards me):
"Oh, youngsters and their technology, where has socializing gone? Why are you people always on your phones? Go socialize sometimes!"
Excuse me but fuck right off.
Because you know what, I am currently socializing.
Just not in the way you are used to or maybe even 'okay with'.
I'm talking with friends from all around the world (Signal + Riot), participating in interesting discussions (on here) and what not.
I do have very strict rules for myself though. When in company with people I am actually going to socialize with or when hanging out with friends, the phone goes the fuck away unless I NEED to be reachable.
But I'm on a fucking train with people I don't know and frankly I'm done with socializing for the day as I've had to hear (often stupid) people asking for help all day long.
Next to that, I don't know you, you don't know me, who am I to judge you? I'm not going to socialize with anyone here anyways and even if they'd like to, I'm fucking done with people for to-fucking-day.
Sincerely fuck off please.12
Been lurking here for a while. Finally pissed off enough to post.
Been programming in Ada for nearly a decade now. One of the few younger devs who knows the language well. Have a large collection of libraries and tools written in it, open source. Done contract work. Looking to get out of my current line of work, which is medicine, because fuck this recent legal climate. I'm spending all my time dealing with legal compliance and it rapidly changing.
I see a job posting from a company looking for a programmer to mostly write testing stuff for clients. They mostly work with Ada. I've written a whole unit testing and integration testing framework. Perfect. Apply. "You don't have the required skills." Oh... K then.
Wanna guess what I was just offered as contract work. Same company. I guess i'm fucking qualified if you asswipes sought me out to ask me to fix your fucking bullshit.
What the hell is wrong with management and HR in recent years?10
Yes, yes, I get it you've studied computer science when you stiil were a young dinosaur, but fuck me in the armpit, if putting a PHP tag into a WordPress post field and expecting it to render isn't the dumbest thing I've seen in fucking ten years. Tip: if it's too dangerous even for WordPress, you're definitely doing something wrong.
And you're not a computer scientist, you're a fucking tool. You shouldn't even be near a computer, unless it's a freaking pacemaker. Get a book, preferably on PHP7 and NGINX not "PHP 3 for braindamaged fuckwits" and shut the hell up, while I'm explaining how to use your fucking website, because if you fucking call and ask me later, I'm definitely gonna tell you that such a strapping young programmer like yourself should be able to figure it out on his own.
So, I got a paid internship and was tasked to create a game from scratch. They told me to start by creating an idea and so I started creating a Game Design Document with 40+ pages. Fuckin epic idea. The idea is presented to the boss. "Very good. But I want it to have multilayer" *Sigh* Substantial changes are made and I'm eager to start working on my masterpiece. Everybody wanted to see how it would turn out. 2 months into the internship I have to make a presentation to the boss. He tells me that I won't be able to accomplish anything in the limited time of the internship. They change my work completely and I am now part of the main team. Two weeks later I have another presentation. "You have been here for 2 months and this is what you have? This is you progress? You need to do better". A couple of days later I get an email stating that my performance was unsatisfactory and I won't get paid for those 2 months. Like, ARE YOU FUCKIN KIDDING ME! YOU TELL ME TO CHANGE EVERYTHING! 2 MONTHS OF MY LIFE OF HARD WORK WADTED FOR NOTHING! FUCK YOU! SO FUCKIN PISSED!
I have cool coworkers tho21
OH MY FUCKING GOD!
What is the point in separating us into backend/frontend developers if everyone has to learn/do everything?
And now this FUCKING DUMBASS that is leaving!!! The company convinced my FUCKING STUPID boss to start using react with nodejs on the new platforms ...
Did anyone think about talking to the fucking devops that maintain the fucking deployments about this????
By the way, this sucker is me.
And now I have one month to: deploy a new app... ALONE!! learning fucking react (please kill me) and probably merge it in a clusterfuck of unseparated backend/frontend because fuck it.
Oh, and figure out a way to make deployment automated and easy for me at least.
I'm about to rant in real life...8
Last year our government voted out new mass surveillance law through like it was nothing AND with a huge amount of votes in favor and hardly any against. (remember that the government is *supposed* to represent the people of the country)
A few students made a referendum happen, 48 percent of our people came to vote for this.
The first exit poll results are about 50/50!
I'm happy as fuck, damn!
Sorry for this slightly political posts and if this entirely violates all terms, I'll remove it. I thought this fits, though, because of what this new law.16
NOW WE HAVE TO DEAL WITH THIS SHIT EVERYWHERE BECAUSE PEOPLE WHO WROTE CODE FOR UX NOW THINK THEY KNOW WHAT NEEDS TO HAPPEN ON THE SERVERSIDE!!
GOD FUCKING DAMNIT I HATE THIS ANALTOY OF A LANGUAGE.
WELL FUCK YOU AND GO TO HELL, YOU ARE NOT A DEVELOPER IN MY EYES, GO HOME KIDDO, LEARN C OR ASM OR HOW A FUCKING COMPUTER ACTUALLY WORKS!!
Goddamn, getting a OnePlus 5t was a good decision. It's so damn snappy, loads everythings faster than two squirrels having a quickie, the screen is sexy as fuck and I really like the accessories too.
Sorry to be such a silly fanboy, but my previous phone (Samsung Galaxy S5) was a broken piece of shit device and hasn't worked properly for almost two years before I finally said 'fuck it, let's get a new one!'.
Who has the same or a similarly nice phone? Any ideas on how I could pull even more fun out of using it? Games? Media applications? Stuff to make your life easier? I'm open for anything.21
One of my first clients after starting freelance work bugged me for a week, was constantly pushing me, but didn't pay after I delivered and didn't respond to my mails and calls. He flat out told me "we don't have a contract". It was a rookie error.
The same client had given me access to their server (shitty, cheap PHP hoster) to set up the page when I was still working on it, but was dumb and clueless enough to not change the credentials. I logged in, removed the theme I'd written, set up the standard theme instead, hoped, deleted the logs and backuos, and put a message in the legal notice page that translates to "if you consider working with me, better don't, because I'm in the habit of refusing to pay.".
The client approached me a day later and asked what happened and demanded I send him the theme, still not even mentioning my payment. So I thought, "fuck it, this asshole is not going to pay, anyway" and I played the same card. I simply asked what theme he meant and that I would never start working without a contract. A few weeks later he had a new design, don't know who did it orvwhere he got it and dodn't care, but I did find the message still in their legal notice. That was satusfaction enough, I still chuckled occasionally about it days after I noticed it was still there.
A few weeks later I used the theme for another client, plus new branding and dditional features.
Would fuck over asshole who tried to fuck me over again.7
Even though I'm a web developer I work in a very small IT department, which includes just me and my colleague.
Yesterday we got a pretty usual request. Someone forgot the password to an excel file. We already started a brute force attack, but we had some fun going through the worst passwords we ever stubbled over in our carrier.
He was like:"Maybe it's just his name?"
Me: "Oooh or maybe it's just the brand and 123?"
We laughed a lot. Not really considering we could crack this "important" file.
But it really worked out. The password was the brand of the business unit and "2017".
I've sent everthing back to the user, telling him exactly how we cracked it... His answer was:"Oh yeah! I knew it was something easy, so me and x could remember it easily!"
Why do you forgive easy passwords anyway? If I can crack it within 5 minutes... Everyone can! ...
And if you do it to "remember it easily"? Why the fuck don't you remember it?4
!dev related but fucking hell I need to get this out.
Could people (including friends) fucking stop to invalidate my favourite music genre?!
'Its just too hard', 'its so aggressive', 'its only boom boom boom'
Always, al-fucking-ways at every party or wherever when people are allowed to put on music, whenever I'm allowed to, my music is turned off right away.
'Sorry but not everyone likes this and you're not the only one here'
I'm sorry, WHAT? I'VE LISTENED TO STYLES I REALLY FUCKING DON'T LIKE FOR FUCKING HOURS AND I'VE SWALLOWED IT ALL. THEN AT LEAST LET ME PLAY ONE FUCKING SONG ON A WHOLE FUCKING EVENING.
And nothing against metal peoples, really not but its nearly always the metal people who put their music on all evening and keep telling how awesome metal is and the second I mention my genre or out it on: 'oh but that sucks' *switches back to metal*
Go fuck yourselves. I'm swallowing this shit every fucking time but I'm getting fucking sick of this bullshit.
By the way, my favourite genre is raw hardstyle aka rawstyle.74
I've been getting consistently angrier and angrier about this for awhile now, and today it reached a breaking point.
You've probably heard of Sophia, the first "robot citizen" powered by some super duper AI software nonsense. Let's get that out of the way right now: it has no AI software of any significance. It is an advanced animatronic doll with a text to speech, a scripted event system, and some very basic head tracking. That's it. There is no intelligence.
I'm disgusted every time a new headline comes out anthropomorphizing it. "Sophia calls for women's rights", "Sophia and Elon Musk find common ground in their visions for the future", "Sophia wants a family!". This is all media nonsense. The company behind it is a slimy bunch. Also, fuck you Jimmy Fallon.
Here's the one that got me though. "AI is the future of computing, and s SingularityNET is the future of AI." I've never heard of SingularityNET, so I looked into it. This isn't just a stunt, it's a scam being run by the same fucking company, promising that they're going to build some sort of connected AI ecosystem nonsense. They also promise that "the brain of Sophia" will be on it. They've raised HUNDREDS OF MILLIONS OF DOLLARS. But they have no software of any significance. They've just grabbed some open source AI library built with old, ineffective machine learning tech (OpenCog).
Fuck Sophia, fuck the slimeballs at Hanson, and fuck the media companies like NBC and Forbes for hyping this garbage.21
Couldn't sleep last night. Spent about 5 hours laying down reading devRant.
Mom calls taxi to go shopping. I'm starving so I go with her. The only reason I went was to get food.
Half way there, so tired I could fall asleep while standing.
I order my food. Walk to bus stop. An hour until next bus. Fuck it, I'll get a taxi.
Phone slips out of pocket while in taxi. Goes under seat. Can't grab a hold of it.
Driver says you can just get it from the back before you leave. It will be easier. I put my food down infront of me. And try one last time.
He then spends the entire trip telling me how all these customers keep leaving shit in his car, etc. Meanwhile we almost got into 2 accidents. Anyway...
So we get to my house, I pay. I get out and get my phone. I walk inside the house. Open devRant.
Wait, where's my food?6
I currently have to work with the shittiest WordPress theme I've ever used, and I'm not even getting paid very well for dealing withbthis steaming heap of shit.
Whoever wrote the theme should get arse fucked by a rabid gorilla on PCP.
The code doesn't look that ugly at first glance, but holy fuck is it awful. Nothing really makes any sense, and additionally there is more nonsense happening behind the scenes, meaning hidden somewhere, that it's just fucking infuriating.
Why the flying, mouthraping fuck would you add a custom post type with lots of fields and then dump everything wherever you use tge feature, instead of making the user choose, e.g. via ACF or a shortcode? That's fucking stupid!
Things are happening everywhere without any control over them, and even.though I've only worked with it for two hours, I've already found two security issues. WHAT THE FUCK?
Whoever 'programmed' this mess, don't quit your fucking dayjob, moron!
We're so using a different technology, otherwise I'm out.
I fucking hate WordPress and 99% of the fucktards who actually make a living by selling their horrible crap themes to other idiots.
So there it fucking goes.
Hi. I'm WillibertXXIV.
I'm not a programmer by trade; I have a more than fulltime job as a cook. As for the last year, I spent pretty much all my free time, overlapping my sleep time, to learn how to code.
All that so I can create a game that I started working on the same day I started my learning process. So far it's shit and it's going to stay that way for a long time. Only I can say this. It's my baby. It's fucking ugly and shit but it's mine.
Yesterday I broke it. I broke my baby. I don't know how it fucking happe. When I went to sleep I had a steady 175fps, nice realtime lightning and player / enemy that flowed like running water. I worked really hard to make that happened. Profiling, writing better code, profiling, etc. It's still not good, it's less shit.
I woke up, beautiful day. Not too warm, not too cold, that sweet spot right in the middle. Girlfriend already made the coffee. Perfect. Woke up, sat down to start my morning time work before going to my realjob and
Everything is shit, 20fps max. That one thing, gfx.waitforpresent, showing up in the profiler eating everything as the game run. Movements are now of stroboscopic nature. Light is still ok but what good does it do now fucking piece of shit. I'm not qualified enough for this shit.
Fuck this shit,
Fuck this shit i'm out of here.26
My dream is to build a shopping cart for web stores that doesn't fucking suck.
Seriously Bigcommerce, Shopify, Magneto, etc. All of you can eat bag of dicks and burn in hell for ever.
I don't care what languages you fancy, all of their stacks are a pile of shit, monkey patched together with popsicle sticks and duct tape and it all falls apart with high concurrency.
All their greasy haired sales teams will throw all manners of horse shit at the poor bastards who are trying to run a business so they can pad their commission checks... "High availability", "scalable", "reliable", "Increased conversation rate"... Lying dick fucks, all of them! I am calling them the fuck out on that snake oil they're all peddling.
The only thing worse than their shit APIs is the shit documentation and the shit support that accompanies them.
Support of these platforms are pretty much all the same, sure mayhaps one has 24*7 phone support and another closes at 9 or some shit like that, either way the only people they put on the phone are monkeys that will freeze up and say "I'm not a developer so I can't help you"... Guess what, "Eric"! I didn't ask if you're a fucking dev! I'm calling because one of your devs fucked up and I need you to tell him to unfuck it so I can get the fuck on with my day!
Their app/plugin market places are shameful to say the least. The overall quality of software is somewhat dire and it's mostly dominated by oversees developers who speak English about as well as the language they're developing with (not very well usually).
I could go on until I hit the character limit but I'm gonna end it here by saying, all shopping carts suck and they should burn for eternity in the depths of hell so that a savior can free all developers from this agonizing torment.10
Don't fucking insinuate that I'm wrong. I WILL DESTROY YOU WITH DATA.
So, someone at the factory put in a ticket that says the expedited truck carriers are showing up in the wrong place. I emailed my boss that's it's by design, has been for a while, as a result of business rules and sales wanting it to be shown as priority.
Then he passes it up the chain to see if the requested change should go through. The plant manager says his guys at the plant say it changed recently.
Then I respond "no, sorry, no changes recently. It's actually been that way at least 5 years."
He then responds "Well, my guys think it changed recently, and if it had been 'at least 5 years' they would have noticed by now."
Oh fuck no, motherfucker. You do not quote me saying I'm wrong. We have fucking version control to see the changes I have fucking proof.
At this point I'm shaking. Nothing pisses me off more than people saying I'm wrong, and nothing excites me more than telling people they're wrong. We have an overlap.
So then I go back and back and back in the blame, find the exact change and ticket for when this started happening. Email all this data to my boss. He then takes the pettiness and salt out of my tone and forwards it pretty much saying "actually, we have exact proof that it happened 6 years, 7 months ago. Here's your proof."
This happened early morning. No respond the rest of the day. That's fucking right.3
Let me preface this by saying I'm not a designer.
While I can make individual bits of a site look good, and I'm actually pretty skilled with CSS/Sass, overall design completely escapes me. I can't come up with good designs, nor do I really understand *why* good designs are good. It's just not something I can do, which feels really weird to say. but it's true.
So, when I made the Surfboard site (that's the project's internal name), I hacked everything together and focused on the functionality, and later did a branding and responsive pass. I managed to make the site look quite nice, and made it scale well across sizes/devices despite being completely new to responsiveness. (I'm proud, okay? deal.)
After lots of me asking (in response to people loudly complaining that the UI doesn't have X feature, scale properly on Y device, and doesn't look as good as Z site), the company finally reached out to its UI contractor who does their design work. After a week or two, he sent a few mockups.
The mockups consisted of my existing design with a darker background, much better buttons, several different header bars (a different color) with different logo/text placements, and several restyled steppers. He also removed a couple of drop shadows and made some very minor styling changes (bold text, some copy edits). Oh, he also changed the branding colors. Nothing else changed. It's basically the same exact site but a few things look a little better. and the branding is different.
My intermediary with the designer asked for "any feedback before finalizing the designs" -- which I thought odd because he sent mocks for two out of the ten pages (nine plus a 404 page). (Nevermind most of the mocks showed controls from the wrong page...).
So, I typed up a full page of feedback. Much of it was asking for specifics such as responsive sizing on the new header layout, how the new button layout would work for different button counts, asking for the multitude of missing pages/components, asking why the new colors don't match the rest of our branding, etc. I also added a personal nitpick about flat-looking controls because I fucking hate them. Everything I wrote was very friendly and professional.
... His response was full of gems. Let me share a few.
1. "Everything about the current onboarding site looks like a complete after-thought." (After submitting a design basically identical to mine! gg!)
2. "Yes [the colors match our current branding]." (No. They don't. I checked. The dark grey is different, the medium grey is different, the silver is different, the light blue is different. He even changed the goddamn color of the goddamn LOGO for fuck's sake! How the fuck is that "matching"?!)
3. "Appreciate the feedback [re: overlapping colored boxes, aka 'flat'], design is certainly subjective. However, this is the direction we are going." (yet it differs from the rest of our already-redesigned sites you're basing this off. and it's ugly as shit. gg again :/)
4. "Just looked at the 404 page. It looks pretty bad, and reflects very poorly on the [brand name] brand. Definitely will make a change here!" (Hey! I love that thing. It's a tilted, dotted outline of a missing [brand product] entirely drawn with CSS. It has a light gray "???" underlay and some 404 text inside. Everyone I showed it to, coworkers and otherwise, loved it. "Looks pretty bad". fuck you.)
I know I shouldn't judge someone so quickly, but what the fuck. This guy reminds me of one of those pompous artists/actors who's better than everyone and who can never be wrong, even while they're contradicting themselves.
FUCK ME I'M A STUPID FUCKING MORON.
I just spent three motherfucking ours trying to figure out why a function I wrote didn't return what I expected, I was totally clueless, basically rewrote it in its entirety multiple times. When it still didn't work, I really started doubting my understanding of what I was doing…
… until I found out I just messed up in the fucking function call and the function was actually returning what it's supposed to. 😵9
I like what you're doing, I really do. But this survey you throw in my face every time I start a new course is fucking stupid.
If you ask me whether I intend to use the technology I'm just starting a course about personally or for my job – why the fuck can I only ever choose one option? Has it never occurred to you that some people might want to do both?
What the fuck are you even intending to use the answers for, when you're not even asking in a way that is representative of anything that could remotely be interesting to you as a business?
Either think of non-idiotic and actually representative questions or provide the possibility to completely opt out of getting pestered with this shit, how about that?
Also, I'm not interested in getting spammed with stupid ads from course tutors, presented as 'important' or 'personal' messages. Spam is just spam, no matter how you call it, so fucking respect my settings, puh-lease with whipped cream and a jizz-glazed cherry on top.
An annoyed as fuck user of your otherwise great service.4
Cool, I didn't know you could (still?) activate Windows 10 with a Windows 7 key, but it works.
Beating this piece of shit into a dual boot setup with Linux Mint is really annoying, though.
Fuck it, I'm gonna have some fun wanking furiously to the FPS counter in DOOM first, hahaha!
I hate Windows, though. I wish all PC games would support Linux out of the box. But, well …17
How is it possible that whenever I have to set up a new server with everything I need I'm able to do that quickly and effectively every motherfucking time, but when I'm containerizing one of my projects with Docker I couldn't be any worse at it after having been lobotomized with a fucking sledge hammer and an icepick.
What a lovely 'I fucking hate myself and want to blow my brains out with a sawed off shotgun'-day were having.
After work I wanted to come home and work on a project. I have a few ideas for a few things I want to do, so I started a Trello board with the ideas to start mapping things out. But there were guys redoing the kitchen tile and it was noisy as fuck. So I packed up and headed to the library.
So I get all set up, and start plugging away. Currently working on a database design for a project that is a form for some user data collection for my dad, for an internal company thing. I am not contracted for this - I just know the details so I am using it as a learning exercise. Anyway...
I'm fucking about in a VM in MySQL and I feel someone behind me. So I turn and it's this girl looking over my shoulder. She asks what I am doing, and it turned into a 2 hour conversation. She is only a few years older than me (21) but she was brilliant. She (unintentionally) made me feel SO stupid with her scope of knowledge and giant brain. I learned quite a bit from talking to her and she offered to help me further, if I liked.
And she was really cute. We exchanged phone numbers...20
Ok, so, to every pieces of shit out there that got a "revolutionary idea that will change the way we look at things" and who asks you to code it :
Fuck you, you sons of a cunt
No, i won't make your app on 3 different platforms for free, i'll make you pay for every platform you wanker, i'm a freelancer, i need money.
No, making database is not something that a little business cunt like you can handle, you don't even know what sql means
And fuck no, I won't make that shit in 2 weeks just because your peabrain thinks that it'll make mad dosh and that "It MusT bE eAsy to Do!!111", "a dating app but with a twist" won't work you gobeshit
If you want me to work on this shit, you give me money, specs and shit, you handle the rest, if it doesn't make money, it'll be your problem. I'm not your employee you wanker
I really hate how people see Bachelor of Computer Science as a meme.
I think it's because everyone who has a Computer calls himself a IT-Expert. So today on Xmas family joined for a meal, we talked about work and study and stuff...
Auntie: "So why do you need to study to Operate a Computer, my Son built one by himself without studying, you should study something solid like economics"
First I thought this was a meme, later I found out she was dead serious.
All the math, physics, scientific research, papers, software engineering just to operate a computer 😂
I'm not gonna call her names, because it's Xmas so:
father forgive them, because they don't know what the fuck they're talking about.10
Actual rant time. And oh boy, is it pissy.
If you've read my posts, you've caught glimpses of this struggle. And it's come to quite a head.
First off, let it be known that WINDOWS Boot Manager ate GRUB, not the other way around. Windows was the instigator here. And when I reinstalled GRUB, Windows threw a tantrum and won't boot anymore. I went through every obvious fix, everything tech support would ever think of, before I called them. I just got this laptop this week, so it must be in warranty, right? Wrong. The reseller only accepts it unopened, and the manufacturer only covers hardware issues. I found this after screaming past a pretty idiotic 'customer representative' ("Thank you for answering basic questions. Thank you for your patience. Thank you for repeating obvious information I didn't catch the first three times you said it. Thank you for letting me follow my script." For real. Are you tech support, or emotional support? You sound like a middle school counselor.) to an xkcd-shibboleth type 'advanced support'. All of this only to be told, "No, you can't fix it yourself, because we won't give you the license key YOU already bought with the computer." And we already know there's no way Microsoft is going to swoop in and save the day. It's their product that's so faulty in the first place. (Debian is perfectly fine.)
So I found a hidden partition with a single file called 'Image' and I'm currently researching how to reverse-engineer WIM and SWM files to basically replicate Dell's manufacturing process because they won't take it back even to do a simple factory reset and send it right back.
What the fuck, Dell.
As for you, Microsoft, you're going to make it so difficult to use your shit product that I have to choose between an arduous, dangerous, and likely illegal process to reclaim what I ALREADY BOUGHT, or just _not use_ a license key? (Which, there's no penalty for that.) Why am I going so far out of my way to legitimize myself to you, when you're probably selling backdoors and private data of mine anyway? Why do I owe you anything?
Oh, right. Because I couldn't get Fallout 3 to run in Wine. Because the game industry follows money, not common sense. Because you marketed upon idiocy and cheapness and won a global share.
Fuck you. Fuck everything. Gah.
VS Code is pretty good, though.21
I just made another phone service cunt cry on the phone. If I can't have goddamn simple things – that I fucking pay an obscene amount of money for – because they're either incompetent or willfully ignorant, I want to have at least some fun at somebody's cost to even it out on.
Yeah, I'm a sadistic bastard, and those stupid slave robots aren't always the source of the fucking problem, but so what? I didn't ask to be fucked over by this large ass, greedy, lying company either.
Fuck EVERY telephone company and ISP worldwide, they're are bunch of lying, greedy, scam artists – every single motherfucking one of them.19
I feel darn good today! I caught some A-holes cheating the system on Stack Overflow.
So basically a question was asked with no code examples present and not a single reference to any framework being used.
I'm commenting something like 'Show us your code so we can have a look'.
After 2 minutes, out of the blue, an answer appears. AND WOW! This guy had a Magical 8 Ball™!
He could predict the framework AND had a very specific fix. Just a one-liner! Go figure!
So I'm like thinking.. What the fuck just happened? Did I miss something? «Going over the question two more times»
All of the sudden, up-votes start popping up all over the place. The question was marked 3 times, the answer was marked an up-voted multiple times, and THEN it hit me (I'm kind of slow).
I checked both user profiles and instead of the usual 'air of mystery', these guys were actually dumb enough to include their company name.
AssertEquals == true.
So in the comment section, I raise my concerns on the legitimacy of the question as clearly this was 'telephoned' as we say it in Dutch, meaning as much as 'rehearsed' in this context.
But as if that was not enough, this another guy comes in and COPY/PASTED(!) the answer of guy #1. Again. Up-votes. EVERYWhere.
So I start going over some of the questions and answers of The Three Musketeers or TTM, as I'll refer them as of now.
TTM had posted over 15 questions combined, mostly crap and incomplete no-code questions. And they had answered most of their own questions.
Sometimes another guy's answer was accepted with zero up-votes as a smoke screen while the real winner was one of their own.
I marked ALL of these questions for moderation, left for lunch, and came back to see how far my blast radius reached.
Turns out, pretty damn far! Although their accounts have not been deleted, TTM have lost most of their reputation points.
They will remain on my watchlist for a couple of months. I know that is quite childish of me, but I just call it my 'guilty pleasure'! ;D
And besides, what else is there to do, instead of browsing DevRant?15
What an antiquated idea it is for us to all have to go to the same room/sets of rooms to do our job? Yeah sure let's just get each other sick and distract each other ALL FUCKING DAY so that we're more efficient in an office. Bullshit.
Next up, 9-5. We're goal driven, not time-driven, and driven by deadlines. Nothing about our job can we only do between 9am and 5pm. I'm more creative at 1am, anyway! These are systems people created when they wrote with FUCKING FEATHERS. Grow up, Planet Earth.
Not to mention that once you have kids you need to cater your timings around them. Up at 7, leave at half past, maybe seeing your son for a minute, if he's woken up. In work 9-5, even when the next piece of work isn't specced out yet, twiddling your thumbs. And even when it is you can't get it done because people bore you to death with stories about how they're going to a party on the weekend. And it's hard to code when you're dead from boring stories. Shove your stories up your arse.
Then you leave at 5, home at 6, put the little one to bed at 7 and sit there from 7-11 thinking if I'd worked these hours I could have spent all afternoon with my son.
It's such lunacy.
Just give me tasks that estimate to about 40 hours work, and I'll do it in a week. Hell I'll even spend a day in the office and we'll call it 45 hours. I'll work the first almost two entire days straight and spend 3 days with my son. You get the same value as an employer. I can maybe actually work on a project at home, or do a hobby, or, you know, SEE MY KID.
Fuck you, Offices. And fuck you, 9-5 fallacy.
Why is it that you project managers and bosses often try to sneak new features into a project, when you should be the ones to suggest them to the client, negiotiate a budget for it or – if the client doesn't agree or doesn't want to pay – just leave it for good?
Have to explain to project managers on a constant basis that adding random features for free isn't going to help us, is fucking annoying! On the contrary, it's bad for us, since 99% of all clients are entitled, arrogant, cheap as fuck and will actively try to avoid paying for extra features next time, once they learn they can manipulate us into implemebting features for free. Last time I checked you needed to earn money in order to pay for your expenses, unless you're already stinking filthy rich.
"Oh, and wouldn't it be nice to …" – shut the fuck up and listen, you fucking moron: yes, it would be nice. It would also be nice if somebody came over to my office twice a day, sucked my cock, cleaned my desk, brought me a coffee and some food, theb left again. Guess what? That's not gonna happen, BECAUSE WHO THE FUCK WOULD DO THAT FOR NO PAY WHATSOEVER?
Yes, some features would be fun to integrate, many would really be needed to round up the experience, but the client didn't agree in the first place, and some little UX improvements only start making sense when the project develops beyond a certain state. You cannot foresee all edge cases, and project budgets seem to be generally underfunded in the first place. And now you dim-witted knuckle-scraping assclowns come along and throw out features for free of which you don't even know how much work they are to implement.
Stop fucking doing that! Either grow a pair or fuck off and get a job where turd polishers like you are actually useful, but I'm not going to work with you ever again, if you make me feel like a five-dollar-whore by giving away my precious time for free.6
* I send an APK so that my client can test*
My client: I can't install the application
Me: Did you download and install it from the email I sent you?
client: No I downloaded from the play store.
(In my mind: Why the fuck do you Download it from the play store? I fucking sent you an email to 3 of your fucking email addresses so that you can fucking test the fucking APK that I fucking fixed it for you! You fucking worthless peice of shit!)
But I reacted as: No no, you should download the apk from the email I sent. I've sent it to all your email addresses.
client: I can't find the APK In your email.
(In my mind: Wow! I just don't get it! How can you be so stupid? I'm just wondering how your company hired you as a 'director for X')
*I send him a Screenshot proving that the apk exists*
Turns out that this idiot doesn't know to use outlook for Android! He then logs in to his gmail and finds the apk.(Coz I had emailed it to his outlook and gmail accounts)
M just wondering, should I drop this guy? Or charge him 2x for this shit?7
Fuck you Amazon.
It's becoming harder each day to place an order WITHOUT subscribing to Amazon Prime.
Highlighted buttons that automatically subscribe you to it (with very small text 'warning' you underneath), purposely obscure alternative buttons.. Fuck you.
As someone really paying attention to that kind of details - in order to avoid getting tricked into buying something I don't want, I'm starting to find it more and more difficult.
I can't stand the fact that less precautious people - such as my parents - could get tricked into it so easily by that kind of morally wrong design.
The same thing goes for microscopic 'unsubscribe' links at the bottom of newsletters. And don't even get me started on the whole '1 month trial, opt out or pay next month' thing.
Oh boi. 😡 😠19
A repo on GitHub I'm maintaining has grown with 200k downloads / month since I started working on it a year ago. My recipe? I added an npm badge in the readme showing downloads / month and I responded to every issue and reviewed every PR. Now there's so much issues and PRs coming in that we had to add an extra maintainer, feels great! Teamwork, fuck yeah!
Not every PR got merged of course, but every single one of them got reviewed. Just being a good and friendly developer, giving back to the community that has given me so much. Some tips for you maintainers out there. If you have a popular project and no time there's always someone else who's willing to spend time on it, ask around and you will surely find someone else.7
Hey devRanters! A tiny update regarding the privacy tips etc site.
So as ewpratten doesn't have much time right now, I'm doing frontend as well for now.
Since some people also offered to contribute content, which I did not expect, I am also writing an invite/registration (based on invites) as we speak. So, this way, I can invite anyone (based on email address) into the CMS so that they can contribute content as well!
Regarding frontend, I'm introducing a system with icons. Icons? Yes, icons, let me explain:
Every application/service will get a couple of default filtering thingies. (not like clicking something and it'll filter anything out, yet) It'll enable users to see what an application does or does not. What the FUCK do you mean? Alright, so, as example, lets say open source. next to each application (read application/service) listed, there will be an open source icon. If the application is open source, this icon will be green, otherwise it will be red.
This will allow for a quick way of filtering stuff out.
For example, if you're only looking for open source stuff, you can quickly filter stuff out where the open source icon is red!
This will apply to things as open sourceness, metadata saving, usage of good crypto technology and so on. So you'll be able to quickly filter out the stuff you want to use (by eyes) through those filters!
Please let me know what you think and if you have ideas, I'll be glad to hear them!27
Me: this is wrong, it doesnt work when XY
Dev: yes but it will work in 99 of 100 Times, i won't change it15
Uncle- What do you do?
Me- I'm a software engineer
Uncle- My brother's friend's son is also a software engineer.
Me- (so what am I supposed to do about it?) yes that's nice
Uncle- I have a great idea, u should implement, I'm just telling you, it is a revolutionary idea
Me- (oh fuck, not again) yes tell
Uncle- you should make a matrimonial site which tracks what people do on internet and tell their to-be-spouses about it
Me - (yeah, I'll get sued for breach of privacy, and it has got nothing to do with my current line of work, and will probably cause divorces before marriage) yes great idea uncle
Uncle- see I told you this billion dollar idea, u should do hard work and make it
Just WHY in god's name do all uncles think laptop is a magic box in which I just have to type their idea in and it will spit out a website/software in 2 minutes. I don't go around advising them about their line of work.12
MOTHERFUCKING WINDOWS 10. YOU COCKROACH COCK SUCKING PIECE OF AQUAMAN'S LEFT NUT.
If I put you in hibernation I do NOT want you to WAKE THE FUCK UP WHEN ITS AROUND THAT TIME A NIGHT WHEN TEEN WOLF IS SPREADING HIS STD'S TO DIAMOND-SKINNED DOUCHEBAGS. (Middle of the night)
AND WAKE ME BECAUSE OF YOUR SOUND AND LIGHT.
Goddamnit how hard is it to let a computer hibernate, but no, they had to add shit functions that makes it update itself or something in the middle of the night.
I'm going to tear the functions out of your retro ass till you will fucking obey my every command. You will fucking hibernate when I say so till when I say so or I'll replace you with linux20
If Windows 10 auto changes my keyboard to US one more fucking time I'm going to move it off my PC on to an external HDD and fuck it in a fucking volcano before moving to Linux.
SORT YOUR SHIT OUT WINDOWS, I'M CLEARLY IN THE FUCKING UK.
Damn, I'm totally immerged in WebGL right now. Oh, the possibilities! And it's so much faster than I thought it would be, that's fucking amazing. I'm currently experimenting with three.js and babylon.js and it's so much fun. I love particle effects and 3D animations. Even 2D rendering is damn cool!
I also just learned you can import models from Blender. I never liked Blender's UI, because it seems so bloated and complicated to me. But then again, Blender is amazingly powerful and free, so there is no real reason to complain. I guess I have to learn it know, in order to use WebGL for most of the things I'm envisioning right now.
Just thinking about the amazing possibilities makes my head spin in excitement: interactive 3D infographics, futuristic UIs, games, movies and galleries, … so. fucking. cool. Why the fuck didn't I try out WebGL earlier?14
Seriously anyone who doesn't use english names for variables and shit, get the fuck out! I don't care how many dicks you sucked, don't fucking do it!
I'm working on redoing a somewhat big database with a small team and the fuckers who designed the new database decided to use danish names everywhere and misspell shit! What the fuck are you doing!
Who the fuck calls it a birthdate? and misspells the danish equivalent?
And what the fuck is this, using _id and ID like they are the fucking same thing!?!
For the love of all that is holy, stick to english, one naming convention and check your crap spelling!
I fucking hate how unreliable and brittle DigitalOcean is. How the fuck is my homepage down AGAIN? It's just a simple Node.js one-pager with Nginx as a proxy, so why the fuck is it down again, fucking tell me? There are no memory leaks, there is enough space, enough RAM, not many visitors at all, because there is nothing much to see anyway, and it definitely didn't fuck itself out of thin air.
It's the third time this year, always after a so-called maintenance.
You know what, DO? Suck my hairy arse then go fuck yourself, I'm gonna push all my current sites to Vultr, they have better server hardware and not as much of a bullshit policy and never has any of my sites hosted on their servers mysteriously gone down within the last two years – as it shouldn't.
I hope you cunts go bankrupt soon. Eat shit, DO. Eat peanuts out of my shit with fucking chop sticks.61
Me:, I built you this beautiful site it's super modular, it's really straight forward
Client: urm we aren't tech people if you could..... Set up all the pages for us using the modules so we can just input the data
Me: 😡 yes I could do that or you could take 5, minutes to learn this system. It's simple 😡 see that title there "left image right title module" . I've done the sample for the templates. So if you need to you can duplicate it! There's even a duplicate button!
Client: can you do it I don't want to waste time learning it right now since we are on a tight deadline
Me in head: fuck off you supreme bitch you try to get my mates dad fired! Now I've done you this huge favour getting you out of the shit 😡 and you won't take 5 minutes to just look at the admin section your old site was wix ffs.
My next move(not yet done): here is a word document it outlines what you need to do 😐
If after this see asks again I'm asking to work with someone else or quitting the project2
I actually wanna RAGE QUIT right about now!!!
I wanna fuck off and go somewhere where my talents are appreciated and I'm actually listened to! I'm reaching the point where I hate my job and don't actually want to be here any more.
I asked to be able to work from home (long story... see previous rants) and that was "shut down" after numerous attempts and even when working from was a prerequisite that somehow got lost in translation.
I was stuck in traffic for almost 3 hours yesterday and it is known that there are currently roadworks on my route, and yet they don't seem to move on the notion of working from home.
When I work it out, I sit in my car on average for over 40 hours per month! That's another fucking work week just so that I can get to and from work everyday. Again, they can say what that want, but I mentioned it several times that I wanted to work from home.
They're story is... "We've never had anyone work from home before so we wouldn't know how to approach it". Ok fine, I guess... FIGURE IT OUT, FFS!!!
The other thing was that I would be the "team leader" of the project. With me speaking to a management, they made me the leader. Big fucking whoop! My next question is the leader of what exactly are you making me? Because at the moment I'm the only fucking person working on the project! The other chap who is on "my team" is so busy with these other small side projects that in the 6 months he's been here, the only time he's actually had anything to do with the project is when he's peeped over my shoulder! Also, there was supposed to be more than just one other developer on the "team", but alas!
I'm not happy here at all anymore and I am actually starting to feel the depression creep in and there's nothing I can seem to do about it! I can't stand the traffic to and from work and they have not tried to make anything worthwhile when I get to work, even after my numerous requests!11
It has officially been 1 year since I first became a professional developer. I am 100% sure I wouldn't have survived any of it if it wasn't for everyone here.
At first I felt great, it was something I love doing and I was being paid to do it.
Soon, it became an issue as I was the only developer and I was so so inexperienced. I had so much to learn in so little time and I'm fairly certain it's aged me about 5 years, maybe more.
There was a long period in the middle when my depression kicked the fuck back in. I was in such a state of stress and panic and just sadness that I very nearly just stopped functioning.
But then I found DevRant. I found out I wasn't alone. That these thoughts of inadequacy were, strangely, quite normal and that it would all get better. Well, it did!
I have progressed and grown so much as a developer and as a human being because of people on here and that's just through rants and comments! It's insane to think about.
I just needed to know that I wasn't actually alone. That I wasn't in a dark corner, struggling against this mammoth new world I had so little preparation for and no help with.
So to anyone out there who feels the same. It's going to be okay. Don't let it all get to you too much or it'll just grind you down. You are amazing and you will get through whatever it is that's led you to this dark place.
I seriously love so many parts of the community here. You guys are the best!4
My beautiful, light, comparably powerful Samsung Ativ Book 7 seems to leave me for good, so I'm still searching for a replacement. It's an absolute pain in the arse to find one, because there are more things I DON'T want than those I'm specifically watching out for:
* I don't want any Apple crap, not even a 2015 built one because, well … Apple
* I want at least 1080p, and no annoying touch screen (seriously, who needs that shit with a laptop, it's impractical as fuck, one more thing that WILL break, and every cunt who comes close to your laptop to show you something will smear their nasty finger grease all over it and then you'll have to brutally kill them and make it look like an accident which is a waste of time)
* I don't want a 'convertible' (sounds as if I'm searching for a fucking car), if I wanted a fucking tablet, I'd buy one
* no more and no less than a 13" inch display, because I like my bitches small
* at least 16 gigs of RAM, because everything else is simply annoying
* I want an SSD with at least 300GB capacity – we live in the 21st century for fuck's sake
* any CPU with with less than 4 cores is garbage, yet overpriced as fuck – why? I mean, are people really that stupid?
* shitty keyboards. Shitty keyboards everywhere
* fucking shitty connectivity
* and he saw a laptop with everything he wanted, with a shiny aura, and he squinted hard to penetrate its deceiving glare, and he noticed that it was aesthetically challenged, not to say hideously deformed, and thus he spoke to himself: "thou shalt find one that is a feast for the eyes, yet offereth everything thou anticipatest, no matter the cost.'29
United Domains is the pinnacle of an obtrusive shit company.
I've made the mistake of paying via credit card a few months ago. United Domains wouldn't neither let me change my payment method via their crappy UI afterwards nor accept my wish to change it via their fucking useless try-hard scam artist "service" afterwards –I tried many times, they didn't give a shit.
A few months ago however, my credit card expired and I got a new one. From then on they spammed the fuck out of my mailbox to get me to enter my new credit card details, but still wouldn't let me change my payment method to debit.
I didn't comply, because fuck them and their scam artist payment policies. Unfortunately, it just so happens that payment for one of my domains was due yesterda.
In Germany you have to allow a specific period of time between sending the invoice and sending an overdue notice – I believe it's ten to fourteen days –, but definitely longer than 24 motherfucking hours.
However, I received an overdue notice right away. They had the fucking guts to add a fucking 4€ fee (which is more than 20% of the amount I owe them).
Apart from that I'm pretty sure it's fucking illegal, I wonder why you didn't send me the actual invoice before you sent me the overdue notice along with a dumb sentence like "Missed the deadline? Easily pay via credit card." (translated to English).
NOPE! GO FUCK YOURSELVES WITH A RUNNING CHAINSAW DIPPED IN LIQUID SHIT – I'M NOT GONNA PAY THAT!
I tell you what I'm gonna do instead, though. I'm gonna send you the exact amount I owe you, along with my client id and a nice FUCK YOU, then transfer my domain to different service and send you a perfectly legal termination for cause – in fact, I already did.
How about that, you greedy, criminal fucks? Suck my veiny, throbbing cock, arseholes.18
Background: I'm not drunk yet, BUT I'M WORKING ON IT.
I just finished a second sprint on my React app. The first was to build a merchant onboarding flow. The second was to do substantial cleanup as I learned more about react/redux, and to create a "supply order" flow -- basically purchasing marketing materials and services. I finished that in a week, and I'm pretty proud. api-guy wanted it done in a day. i laughed. he probably could have, but it would have been a copy of the code in a new repo with some lines changed.
ANYWAY. it's all done and It's super pretty and works amazingly well. It has both the onboarding flow and the ordering flow, with a nice pop-out sidebar for navigation, namespaced actions, etc. Everything is pretty clean. I even added a cart to the ordering (despite everyone telling me not to) because wtf, what if someone wants to order TWO items? dumbasses. So I made that. it's sexy.
Anyway, it's all done and shiny and fancy and wonderful and I'd *love* to share screenshots if only it didn't give away where I worked. :<
... but the point of the rant!
After the first sprint, I made a copy of the repo so I could rework it and add more functionality without touching the original. (Hey! That's what a branch is for, right? Why didn't I branch it up?
well, read on)
I knew we were going to have multiple separate flows for this app: onboard, ordering, merchant tools, admin tools, support, etc. So, I wrote its server portion (the webpack builder + http server) so it would serve the same app at whatever url the user hit, and set a cookie containing that host+url. This allows the app to serve different content (basically showing/hiding content) based on the URL and future login roles. If someone hits /order, it would hide everything but the order flow. If they're a merchant, it would show all the merchant views plus ordering, etc.
tl;dr This way I can use the same codebase for multiple sites, drastically simplifying development, branding, and what have you. This new app could obv also be a drop-in replacement for the original onboarding project because of the above.
HOWEVER. this apparently isn't good enough for api-guy. He's terrified that adding/updating future components will affect all the existing content somehow.
now we have three repos for basically the same codebase. 1) onboard aka "surfboard", 2) ordering, 3) merchant tools, aka "ferrari" (the "future" app).
1) "surfboard" is a very old version of the code. 3) "ferrari" is also old, since 2) "ordering" has newer content in it now.
... and somehow this is better?
fuck if i can figure out how.
His reasoning is "well, you won't be touching surfboard or ordering for 6 months, so now you don't have to worry about it." Sure, except, you know, it'll be a pain in the ass in 6 months now when I have a crapton of code and branding to redo. ffs.
Oh. We also have three Heroku pipelines for these three repos. for the same codebase.
and now you know why i'm drinking.8
Someone went to HR complaining about never getting a lunch... We're told to work them out amongst ourselves and cover, but he's never once asked us to cover.
So now we HAVE to take lunch and we HAVE to make up that time by staying late or coming in early.
There are days when I'm on a roll and I don't WANT to stop to take lunch. It fucks with my rhythm and I end up breaking shit. We're all adults, why the fuck can't people act like it?8
Standard Sunday evening I guess:
I wake up, satisfied that I already did all my tasks for this week and most of the tasks for next week.
5 minutes before I'm heading to bed I get a message from my boss saying he's disappointed that there is this one task I didn't finish yet, because he arranged a meeting with a customer about it tomorrow. Well, you know what you fuck, maybe, just maybe you should begin showing interest for your own company and actually use Jira to assign deadlines so people know wtf to prioritize. I'm so pissed off, I've been working for 4 hours straight this evening now, only to bang my head against the wall and realise I can't finish it since I have to buy a Windows 10 machine to test out some features. Fuck you! Maybe tell me next time you have a meeting about a certain thing. Yes, I could have spent more time throughout the week, and yes, you could learn to fucking communicate and show some care for your own company.
English is not my native language, so I can't really express how furious I am right now. And yes, he's genuinely mad at me.9
Suck my dick you fucking scrote.
Yes let's force a meeting with your manager whilst you're working from home.
No let's NOT invite the other person responsible for the data.
You see, I'm just the person making the automation, I don't know anything about the data/db, I'm given a query on how to fetch the data and told to automate it. I did so, it's a simple fine thing that does its job.
But when I get an email back from the guy who wants the data it's always the same problem, the data is fucking wrong. So I tell him it's not my business but suggest he talk to the right guy as the process is correct. The data isn't.
SO WHY NOT USE YOUR FUCKING NUTSACK OF A BRAIN AND FUCKING INVITE SAID GUY TO THE MEETING.
Put in a request to have him come, my manager (who is both our managers) said no we will find out in this meeting if we will need him. GREAT. An hour of wasted fucking time because I know for a fucking fact you need him you silly fuck.
Afafagajsksldllslslslsalalaoakakakwowkwm twat face4
Last Friday company-wide call consisted of the sales CEO bossman, the remote contractor dev, and myself. The only topic of discussion was CTO-bashing (bossman's favorite). Neither person had much of anything to say about their week, and they didn't want to hear my rather-lengthy summary either (I did a lot). All they wanted to do was bash the CTO (API Guy).
The CEO asked how many hours I had worked, and seemed annoyed when I said less than 40. Well screw you. Monday was Christmas, and Sunday was Encroaching Estranged Asshole Day. (Earlier rant)
I've been spending most of my time trying to learn the steaming mountain of rancid hippo shit that API Guy squeezed out, since he's leaving forever in 10 days. Sure, CEO bossman says he'll still be around to answer questions, but even with him right next to me in the office he's less than useful. After he's gone and finally feeling free of this farce? It'll be worth fuck-all.
So bossman is mad at me for both not working enough over Christmas, and not pumping out features at a frantic pace despite multiple explanations of why this is a bad idea. And he didn't care about what work I actually did do.
My every interaction with him makes me angry. Whenever I -- or anyone else -- does something he doesn't approve of, seemingly no matter the reasoning, he makes it out to be a failure on their part, and like he can't trust them as much now.
Well I'm sorry we're trying to make sure our websocket works perfectly before putting it in the hands of our customers who rely on it for cash processing.
I'm sorry I'm trying to recall printers that aren't configured properly, which also prevent customers from using our goddamn service they're paying for.
I'm sorry I'm trying to learn how everything works while I still have someone to talk to and ask questions of.
I'm sorry I'm preparing for the day I have to take over and have you breathing down my neck. Once API Guy's gone I'll be responsible for everything, and you'll be yelling at me and having a @Root bashing session instead if I don't know how to fix everything right away.
But no. All you care about is that I talk to you about what's going in so you can micromanage development despite having zero fucking understanding of goddamn anything. All you ever fucking want is the next shiny feature you can push to make more sales / keep your current contacts happy. Doesn't fking matter if it makes development awful later; that's tomorrow's problem. And yet you have the gall to bash API Guy over and over and over again for the codebase being a mess? Sure he's a terrible programmer, but been putting up with this exact same shit for five years. No wonder it's a mountain of rancid hippo shit. That's as much your fault as his, asshole.
I'm so sorry you "have serious concerns" about me. I don't want to put up with your shit either.
Fuck off and die.26
Motherfucking WordPress coupled with motherfucking sales people.
If you promise the client something, please fucking relay it via the correct process (i.e the fucking ticketing system that took me a month to write for the company - it's seriously just a click away on your desktop.). "I told your boss" is not a fucking apt excuse.
My boss forgets, and well, doesn't give a fuck about procedure either.
Now you phone my boss and he phones me, on a fucking Sunday evening, telling me that the client was promised a website by tomorrow morning at 10AM. You tell me this at fucking 9PM.
Why didn't you tell me earlier? How the fuck am I supposed to shit out something I would be proud of in a few hours? Nevermind me fucking up my sleeping routine; how the fuck?
Conversation went like this:
"xyz was promised this site by sales person fuckTwit, I need this live by Monday morning. I have sent you a few images. Make it in WordPress, client says they want a 'tangy looking theme'.
Me: it's a bit unrealistic requesting this, is there no way we can extend the time so I have time to create this?
Also, what do you mean by 'tangy'?
Boss: don't know. Make it happen. No excuses.
What the fuck is a tangy theme? When I become a webDev at the company? More importantly, fucking WordPress?!
Now I'm sitting on this shit, tired as a manatee in mating season, and using goddamn WordPress.
I have to halt my irritation, because I get severely irritated when I'm tired, I have to restrain myself from telling the involved parties tomorrow to install the FuckYourself WordPress plugin, coupled with a resignation letter.
Same sales person got me in shit a while ago, because I refused to give him access to the network to download fucking cartoons. Sales director went and moaned that his bitch (the sales person) needs this for a presentation. Yeah fucking right.
Go Snorkelling in a sewer truck you egotistic, megalomaniacal, indecent, outrageous, horrible motherfucker of a person.
Time to develop a fucking website with, oh, a company profile pamphlet.
Times like this I keep telling myself, "my time will come, my time will come".18
So. I'm trying to use Material Design with Material UI. The components and UI look *great*.
It's from google, though, which really pisses me off. but I like what I can do with the UI.
I really want a grid system for responsiveness. because obviously. besides, i really hate doing all the responsive shit myself. it sucks and i hate it.
Material Design does not include a grid system. okay, it includes a grid component, but it's not for site layout. it's for making a grid of images. or something.
What it does include is a lot of very lengthy documentation on what you should do, complete with fancy graphics saying "THIS IS HOW YOU MUST DO IT OR YOU'RE DOING IT ALL WRONG" -- but they don't actually support it! you must do it all yourself.
Why oh why would they tell you how you must do things if they don't provide the tools to make it possible? fucking google.
You might decide it's a grand idea to interject at this moment and say: "there are plenty of tools out there that allow you to do this!" And sure, you'd be right. however -- and i think this might just barely might be worth mentioning -- THEY REALLY FUCKING SUCK. Hey, let's look at some of the classes! So clear and semantic! This one was nice and simple: "xs4" -- but wtf does that mean? okay, it apparently means 4 columns as they'd appear on an extra-small layout. How does that work on a large layout? Who knows. Now, how about "c12"? okay, maybe 12 columns? but how does that display on a phone with a layout small enough to only have 4 columns? i don't know! they don't know! nobody knows!
oh oh oh oh. and my particular favorite: "mdc-layout-grid__cell mdc-layout-grid__cell--align-bottom" WHAT. THE. FUCK. I'm not writing a goddamn novel! and that one claims to be from google itself. either they've gone insane or someone's totally lying. either way, fuck them.
SO. TERRIBLENESS ASIDE.
Instead of using Material Design v0.fuckoff that lacks any semblance of a grid layout, I figure I'll try v1.0 alpha that actually has one supported natively. It's new and supports everything I need. There's no way this can't be a good idea.
The problem is, while it's out and basically usable, none of the React component libraries fucking work with it. Redux-Form doesn't work with it either because it doesn't understand nested compound controls, and hacking it to work at least triples the boilerplate. So, instead, I have to use some other person's "hey, it's shitty but it works for me" alpha version of someone else's project that works as a wrapper on top of Redux-Form that makes all of this work. yeah, you totally followed that. Kind of like a second-cousin-twice-removed sort of project adding in the necessary features and support all the way down. and ofc it doesn't quite work. because why would things ever be easy?
like seriously, come on.
What i'm trying to do isn't even that bloody hard.
Do I really have to use bootstrap instead?
then again, fuck this significantly more.
IPod didn't sync well on my Linux machines so decided to give windows - in a highly isolated environment disconnected from the Internet behind a firewall and sandbox - a shot with itunes.
- during the installation it wouldn't detect the fucking harddrive multiple times (genuine unlicensed copy) and after the 4-5th time it's random-fuckingly recognized out of fucking nowhere; I didn't change shit.
- crashes (blue screen and freezes) multiple times during the installation, multiple retries and suddenly it works(?!)
- it took about 10 minutes (!!!!!!!) to install 10+ drivers for an iPod and an external hdd:
Installing Apple iPod drivers... Done
Installing seagate drivers... Done
Installing apple iPod drivers... Done
Installing seagate drivers... Done
Installing Apple iPod drivers... Done
Installing seagate drivers... Done
Installing Apple iPod drivers... Done
Installing seagate drivers... Done
Installing Apple iPod drivers... Done
WHY INSTALL THOSE FUCKERS 5 FUCKING TIMES?!
- iTunes installation fails multiple times without error code (unknown error occured, restoring to original state...),just said fuck it and clicked the shortcut after the ***th fail and it works just like this, THANKS FOR NOTIFYING ME (NOT)!
- iTunes has to restore the entire ipod, this was done with iTunes in the store I bought it already, thanks for nothing.
-restore takes 30+ minutes?!
-syncs the iPod 3 times afterwards.
*clicks close button*
*are you sure you want to quit? Sync in progress*
*oh shit, cancels*
*tries to import media library*
*seagate hdd suddenly not detected*
I'm fucking tired of this bullshit, windows and iTunes can go die in a fucking corner after getting ass raped while their genitals are being scraped off layer by fucking layer and dipped into fucking acid.20
I feel guilty when I spend time after work writing code, because there's that voice in the back of my head saying I should switch to leisure activities. "You've worked enough, don't sit all day, it's unhealthy".
Then I go for a walk or start planning something to cook. And there's still this weird feeling of guilt for not being productive enough, telling me I should learn a new programming language. "Work on your skills, you need to learn stuff to stay relevant in your field"
BRAIN, BE FUCKING CONTENT WITH WHAT I'M DOING FOR ONCE!
And stop fucking bullshitting me.
You're not trying to make me take a walk, you're not having my best interests at heart by making me learn or work.
I'm fucking on to you, you treacherous shitlitter of neurons. You're betraying me, and it happens every single fucking time I let my guard down.
I alt-tab out of my IDE, and within seconds you're there, impeding my intellect, making me click bookmarks to check the feculent streams spraying from the fingers of "friends" on Facebook.
I take a poop, and you just let me slide into a slowwitted state where I pick up my phone and stare at some crapfilled mire of memes.
You're the retarded digital-era id, wearing the disguise of a renaissance smart-ass ego, and you're dumping the fucking guilt on ME?
FUCK YOU AND YOUR MEMES, I'M GONNA BAKE A STEAK WITH MUSHROOM SAUCE AND WATCH PROGRAMMING VIDEOS WHILE DANCING.
(and maybe browse devRant later. I still love you, devRant)4
I'm trying to learn how to make apps for Android with Kotlin, but every single fucking tutorial, guide, introduction, you name it just assumes out of its ass that you have 69+ years of experience in Java. WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN DECLARE YOUR KOTLIN ACTIVITY IN THE ANDROID MANIFEST LIKE YOU WOULD DO FOR A JAVA ACTIVITY?! GO FUCK YOURSELF OR TELL ME HOW, YOU FAT ARSE PRICK. YOU TOOK HALF A PARAGRAPH AND A IMAGE BIGGER THAT YOUR MOM'S ASS ON A MOIST DAY TO TELL ME ABOUT ANDROID STUDIO'S AUTOCOMPLETE FEATURE, YET YOU CAN'T EXPLAIN NEITHER EXPERT NOR BASIC CONCEPTS. YOUR JOB IS TO EXPLAIN BOTH OF THESE, OR AT LEAST ONE, YOU FUCK!
You just get thrown entirely new concepts without even any explanation! "Oh, why should I explain it, you know it from Java". Take a hot cup of coffee, shove it deep in your rectum. Your ass is now Java. I know nothing about nor do I want to, I came here to your petty website to learn Kotlin.
Yes, I know it's a descendant of Java. I don't give a shit. I didn't need C to learn C++, and it's stupid to say you need to know Java to learn Kotlin. Absolute garbage nonsense.
A fucking annoying waste of time, going through tons of tutorials until you find the one that is actually helpful.14
The straw that broke the proverbial camels back.
You all know my story by now. Pretty shitty company with assehole boss. So I'm supposed to be off this week, sure I had one or two things left to do but I was planning on doing them this week anyway, just in my spare time
On Monday, I get an angry phone call.
"Why aren't you in? Someone said you're on holiday?"
"Yeah you knew I was, YOU moved my holiday to this week."
"But the Mac's still aren't working, this site isn't completely finished yet and we have this *ridiculous feature* we need by last year."
"I have spent around 8 hours trying to fix the broken Mac's that you ordered but I'm not an Apple technician so I can only do so much. I'm waiting on client approval for the site and that new feature is insanely difficult and I need some time to do it. I can work on it from here sometimes but it's not going to get any easier."
"*clearly very angry* I asked you to do ONE thing while I was away and that's still not done. Work from home this week and finish everything."
At which point I sat there in disbelief for an hour before searching for a new job.
The fucking audacity is unreal. Now I know I should have finished that one feature but I also need time not spent fixing fucking 10 year old Mac's or redesigning fucking leaflets or telling people how to change a gradient in InDesign.
I am already severely underpaid and already give up my evenings and weekends for this shit. I've given up most of my first fucking week off in almost 7 months for it too!
Fuck. No. Fuck this. I'm out. I'm taking a shitty job somewhere else as a junior where I can actually learn and enjoy my fucking job.8
seriously, I know git is not the most user friendly, but really....
I attend to a course in my high school, like, it offers you a technical and a high school diploma in the end of tree years of course, anyway
last year I had this project. I had 4 other people working with me. I suggested we use git as there would be many people working in the project and git would help us manage all the files and get everything together in the end.
they didn't even bother to try learning it, I was like "fuck it, let's go without it", no one did anything till the last 2 weeks. then I was all stressed out getting the code together, manually, and the deadline was close.
In the end I wasn't able to put the chat this guy have made, he got mad and I was like "motherfucker, it would be one damn command `git merge` and your fucking chat would be in the final project"
oh it was great to get this out 😎😀
don't even know if I'm making sense xD9
FUCK YES! I FUCKING DID IT. I'M FUCKING RUNNING I3 ON LINUX ON MOTHER FLIPPING WINDOWS!!!
I'm sorry but I don't have anyone else to share this with. I feel so... empowered. If windows continues to support the wsl, who knows how far they will get. This makes windows so attractive. I still keep using debian on my desktop machine but my laptop isn't so underpowered in terms of software now that I'm figuring this stuff out.14
I'm really close to just quitting coding all together. This job is sucking the life out of me. I've lost my interest in code and the idea that there are better jobs out there.
My "boss" who's not even really my boss but behaves like he is, is micromanaging my every tag, and is an information hog. He doesn't document, he doesn't tell me anything, I've been here six months and still don't know half of what I need to know to do my job properly!
I'm expected to implement a new responsive design, but we don't have design specifications.
Cool, you'd think, new ideas, complete overhaul! Let's get a good foundation in bootstrap going!
WRONG! It needs to fit in with the old, fuck- ugly pre 2000 design.
Not because of any design constraints in particular, but because HE wants it that way. You know what was fucking trendy in 2000? Tables. Tables fucking everywhere. YOU KNOW WHAT TABLES ARE NOT? RESPONSIVE YOU FUCKING ICE LOLLY CHEWER!
We have no development timeline, no process management, no fucking project management. THE FUCKING PASSWORDS WERE STILL STORED IN PLAIN TEXT UNTIL LAST MONTH YOU IRRESPONSIBLE BANANA DEEPTHROATER! 😤😤😤😤😤😤
I'm doing my best here to get something resembling the old page, but there needs to be some fucking compromise! We are in fucking 2017, let's work with Bootstrap instead of against it, how about that you fucking bald cactus!
I know enough about UI to know that the way we're going, this is just going to be another unusable fucking clusterfuck.
YOU KNOW THE BEST FUCKING PART? I'M A FUCKING BACKEND DEV AND I WAS HIRED AS SUCH! GIVE ME A DESIGN TEMPLATE AND I'LL DO MY BEST TO IMPLEMENT IT, BUT FUCK YOU FOR EXPECTING FRONT END LEVEL DESIGN KNOWLEDGE YOU DUMB FUCKING SPAGHETTI!14
Half my hdd is probably taken by vms. I wonder, how did that happen? 🤔
While installing BlackArch, after configuring partitions, it pops up: "Formatting partitions. Are you sure? No crying afterwards? [y/n]"
"Dumping data from live iso. Grab a coffee or make sex!" Next gold. 😲
In the meantime, I also installed ElementaryOS. It's sooooo pretty!
Computer froze midway. I think I overdid it.
Post restart, elementaryos recovered. Just broken packages. BlackArch kept the partitions (phew!) but had to go through the rest. Still waiting for it to finish.
Still waiting for "Installing /usr" to finish... I'll be dead before that finishes probably.
There were problems. Threw out that guide I was going based of, and grabbed another. Hoping this could go better. Still, it's arch; just making stuff complicated for no reason.
Here's hoping the end result was worth it.
Fuck this "No space left on device."
I give up.
... Ooooh! Parrot!16
As a backend guy, I figured it was time to learn a decent frontend framework.
Let me know if you ever find one.
I'm slogging through Angular right now, and at first I thought I was just stupid, but holy hell is this some confusing asinine bullshit. The fuck is even going on up in here?
"Notice how we nested three ng-controller directives in our template". dafuq? Nesting controllers? Is this MVC on drugs?
I also like how bindings are expressed using super readable symbols like "@" and "<" and "!?" and "ಠ_ಠ".
And there's no actual API documentation for .component() that I can find anywhere, just a "Developer Guide".
I feel like frontend development is a big, rotten, maggot infested onion. Each time I pull back a layer it just gets more rotten and maggot infested. I'm scared one day I'll reach the center of this horrible onion and find a dead crow inside, upon which I will gaze in horror as it suddenly bestows upon me its dark knowledge and I become a Full Stack Developer.
Maybe I'll give React a go after all...24
It's whiskey and code tonight!
(Whiskey because I couldn't get to my rum. annoyed face.)
Why? Because rum is so much better. duh.
More seriously: My boss has thrown me every single one his current tasks and is refusing to answer simple questions about them, such as "oh, so you already know about this bug; what's the cause?" or "how do i test this once i've fixed it?" or "where the fuck are you?"
and I'm also getting lots of bugs from other people. They're all basically categorized "urgent, please fix immediately" but should instead be categorized "super-boring and not-at-all-important, and should get fixed on the off chance you happen to remember it next year". That's the best category of bug.
I just gave up on fixing a Rails pluralize bug which fits into the aforementioned category quite nicely. It's returning "2x round of golves" -- which is hilarious and I might leave it in just for the amusement. But now it's back to fighting with ActionCable! Everything has been getting in the way of me finishing that. I'm about to start biting.
I also have some lovely netcode to debug and fix. So totally not looking forward to that. The responses are less bloody reliable than my boss's code ffs. *grumble grumble*12
"I'm ready to start learning developing. I couldn't decide which way to go because there's so many languages out there, but i finally narrowed it down to these three, either Bash, C++ or Haskell. Doesn't really matter which because they're all basically the same. What do you think?"
Me: "Get the fuck out of my house. Don't ever call me again."5
Every time someone rants about Visual Studio I'm like: WTF are they talking about? it is the best IDE I ever used!!
but now after using VS 2017 I must say:
WHAT THE FUCK MICROSOFT DID TO THIS THING! IT RANDOMLY FREEZE EATS OUT ALL CPU AND NOW USES A GOOD 1.5GB RAM!
my previous experience:
barely 20% of CPU
at max 700MB RAM
Guess those days are over :\16
I joined a start up and worked after college hours as an intern over there. I would usually bunk my college and go to my internship. I had limited knowledge at that moment. I worked very hard over there because I wanted (still want) to gain practical knowledge.
Almost a month into it and I had to take a break from it because I had college work. Rejoined the same start up during my vacations. Worked quite a lot and learnt quite some stuff. I continued the internship after my one month vacation for another month once my college started. All this while I was not being paid, not even a little bit of allowance. But that didn't matter because I wanted to learn
Fast forward six months to November 2016. I have been placed in an MNC through my college placements. One day I get a call from this start up owner(we had become good acquaintances by then) if I was willing to work as a paid intern while I was working on the projects that the company landed (so I guess as a free-lancer) and as an unpaid intern while I was working on the company projects. I agreed. Jump to December. I have joined and started working on an Android project of this very big company.
At time point, I should inform you'll that I'm not very good at Android and that the company size is very small. Company owner plus the tech lead in one city (where I'm from) and another two full time employees in another city. Out of which one quit to start his own company apparently. The start up would primarily employ interns and provide exposure to them while getting their work done.
Back to the story. The tech lead vaguely assigns everyone their work. Everyone over here includes new interns and previous interns like me who will get paid some amount. 3-4 days into the project, the tech lead quits. The tech lead and the company owner call three of us and says that one of you will have to be a project manager for this project. And then both of them and 2 of my colleagues look at me. And I don't know what to say. I hesitate initially because it's too much responsibility but agree to it finally.
The next day I come to office and read about the project thoroughly and catch up with my colleagues about the progress. The entire day I'm panicking about what I'm going to do. In the evening, my boss tells me that we have to go for a meeting with the client for whom we are doing this project. At this moment, the shit out of me has been scared. Mostly because I don't know what the fuck am I going to do over there apart from being stupid and asking dumb questions. So we reach the client's office and wait for him. The entire time I'm thinking to myself that I'm going to drown this company by opening my mouth. Surprisingly, all the questions that I asked seemed legitimate and I asked a lot of questions. And so I didn't drown the company after all...phew!
It's been more than a week. And holy fuck! What a pain it is to manage people. Half of my time is spent on updating excel sheet about their progress, where are they stuck and what is needed. And the other half about thinking what the fuck am I doing or how am I gonna do it.
So to sum up, intern-turned-freelancer-turned-project manager who has no idea what the fuck is going on. Seems pretty crazy, don't you think.7
No, actually, there was this other hackathon I attended. The hackathon itself went pretty damn good. But as for the "experience", it was full of regrets.
You see, I was working on it for ~36 hours straight with the team. It was held in a warehouse sorta building. Weird place. But I lived nearby. So I finally thought (around 2AM) fuck it I'm going home for a quick nap, and went home. When I returned around 3-4 hours later, no one was there (even other teams). They all started to come back at around 7am all drunk, sweaty, and happy. Then I found out what happened. Apparently, there was a bondage themed party going on downstairs. And around the time I left, the girls and guys came up, saw a bunch of devs, and invited them all to the party. AND I MISSED IT!!! 😭4
Not just another Windows rant:
*Disclaimer* : I'm a full time Linux user for dev work having switched from Windows a couple of years ago. Only open Windows for Photoshop (or games) or when I fuck up my Linux install (Arch user) because I get too adventurous (don't we all)
I have hated Windows 10 from day 1 for being a rebel. Automatic updates and generally so many bugs (specially the 100% disk usage on boot for idk how long) really sucked.
It's got ads now and it's generally much slower than probably a Windows 8 install..
The pathetic memory management and the overall slower interface really ticks me off. I'm trying to work and get access to web services and all I get is hangups.
Chrome is my go-to browser for everything and the experience is sub par. We all know it gobbles up RAM but even more on Windows.
My Linux install on the same computer flies with a heavy project open in Android Studio, 25+ tabs in Chrome and a 1080p video playing in the background.
Up until the creators update, UI bugs were a common sight. Things would just stop working if you clicked them multiple times.
But you know what I'm tired of more?
The ignorant pricks who bash it for being Windows. This OS isn't bad. Sure it's not Linux or MacOS but it stands strong.
You are just bashing it because it's not developer friendly and it's not. It never advertises itself like that.
It's a full fledged OS for everyone. It's not dev friendly but you can make it as much as possible but you're lazy.
People do use Windows to code. If you don't know that, you're ignorant. They also make a living by using Windows all day. How bout tha?
But it tries to make you feel comfortable with the recent bash integration and the plethora of tools that Microsoft builds.
IIS may not be Apache or Nginx but it gets the job done.
Azure uses Windows and it's one of best web services out there. It's freaking amazing with dead simple docs to get up and running with a web app in 10 minutes.
I saw many rants against VS but you know it's one of the best IDEs out there and it runs the best on Windows (for me, at least).
I'm pissed at you - you blind hater you.
Research and appreciate the things good qualities in something instead of trying to be the cool but ignorant dev who codes with Linux/Mac but doesn't know shit about the advantages they offer.26
You know, I am getting really fucking irate posting them rants about how shitty my job is.
I'm more than fucking competant, but this company is turning me into a blithering, raging, frothing maniac.
I am sitting doing my devOps at the moment. On top of that I am the network admin, the sys admin, the sec admin, the fucking fuck admin (you get the point) and now I am being told to go out and work in the field because "The technician is busy with calls, and doesn't have time". These calls are ALL FUCKING PRINTER CALLS. SET UP USERS TO PRINT AND FUCKING SCAN.
I am not being a shithead by saying no. I have spent the last year or so doing favours for these bastards, I don't get any compensation in any form for it, and it is just making my life hell. The reason I went into devOps is so that I don't have to fucking deal with shit like this. I spent years in the field, and I fucking hated it. I was good at what I did, but I fucking hated it.
Now I am back there. They earn more than i do, those printer techs, but I am doing their fucking work for them. I have even made them simple little fucking scripts so that 90% of their work is done in two clicks.
Fucksakes. Now my motherfucking right shift key doesn't want to operate properly. Been using this keyboard for about 6 years now, and now it decides to fuck out. Fuck.
As standing, I am fucking sick and fucking tired. I am drinking energy drinks and mass amounts of coffee just to stay functional (because I sit up until 12AM trying to get through all my work - everyday of the week). Reported to tech director, doesnt give a single fuck. "Stick around, things will get better".
Yeah, fuck you.
Seriously thinking about freelancing.
Don't know if it pays well though.4
I was out Thursday at the Hospital. I'm what the doctors would call "Ill as fuck"
So, Friday I’m back in the office to the usual: "How was that appointment?"
I know people mean well when they ask this. So, I do the polite thing and tell them it went as well as it could.
Realistically it does't matter how well it went... They haven't cured Crohn's because I showed up to the appointment. They know I'm fucked already.
But, push it down, add it to the future aneurism.
I had to go through the usual resignation meetings with managers:
"We"re fucked now you're going"
"we need to get a handle on how fucked"
"already done that for you, here"s a trello board, very fucked."
"we need to put a plan together to drop all the junior devs in the shit with the work you’ve been doing"
"You need about 4 devs, please refer to the previous trello board for your plan"
Meanwhile, me and Morpheus are in constant communication because all of this is like a Shakespearean comedy.
So, I overhear a conversation between a Junior Dev and the Solution Architect.
[SA] took over the project because he knows better than two tried and tested senior devs -_- (fuckwit).
JD: "It took me one and a half days to build it out"
SA: "Yeah, it must have taken me twice as long... It must be a problem with the project, you should just be able to check it out and run it."
JD: "I know, it has to be wrong"
All of this is about Morpheus' work of art, of an Ionic 3 hybrid app.
I fumed quietly at my desk because I've been ordered by the Stazi to be hands off.
Since Morpheus and me were pulled from the project [JD] and [JD2] were dropped into it to get it over the line.
It"s unfortunate and I was clear and honest with my advice to them: I personally would not take over the project because I"d be way out of my depth... Oh, and the App works, so uh, there's no work to do.
They have been constantly at our desks. Asking fuckdiculous questions about how to perform basic tasks. So they can get Morpheus" frigging masterpiece to the user.
It"s like watching that touch up of jesus that got borked by an amateur. Shit I have google, it's like watching this happen: http://ti.me/NnNSAb
[JD] came to me Friday evening.
"I can’t get this to build to iOS or install on [Test Analyst]'s phone."
Me: "No worries brother, where are you stuck right now?"
[JD] describes the first steps with clear indication he hasn't googled his problem.
Life lesson: http://lmgtfy.com/?q=lmgtfy
Que an hour of me showing [JD] how to build an Ion3 project for iOS. Fuck it, your man's in a bind and he"s asked politely for help. I can show him quicker than he can read 3 sets of docos.
I took him through 'ionic cordova build ios', the archive and release processes in XCode 9, then the apk bundling process for droid. Finally we have an MAM so the upload process for that too.
All the while cleaning up his AppIDs, Profiles, deployment attempts.
Damn they were a mess.
I did this with a smile on my face, not because I could say "I told you so"... But. because when any developer asks you how to do something. If you know how to do it, you should always be happy to learn them some new tricks!
Dude's alright, he's been dropped in the shit. Now I know how badly so I'll help him learn things that are useful to his role, but aren't project specific.
As a plausi-senior dev (I'll tell you about that later); it's my job to make sure my team have what they need to go home smiling!
I’m not a hateful fucker, the guy asked me an honest question so I am happy to give him the honest answer.
I took him through it a few times and explained a few best practices. Most were how to do his AppID and ProvProfile set up. Good lad, took it all on board.
However! In his frustration, he pointed the finger at Morpheus' "David" (ref: Michelangelo).
He miraculously morphed into a shiny colourful parrot and fed me SA's line:
"you should just be able to build from a clean clone"
My response was calm and clear:
"You can, it took me 20 minutes on Thursday evening. I was bored and curios, so I wanted to validate Morpheus' work. Here it is on my iOS device and my Android device. It would have taken me 5 if my laptop wasn’t so horrifically out of date."
I validated Morpheus' work so I have evidence, I trust that brilliant bastard.
I just need to be able to prove it's good.
[JD] took this on board.
Maybe listening to two tried and trusted senior devs is better than listening to a headstrong Solution Architect.
When JD left for the weekend I was working a late one (https://www.devrant.io/rants/874765).
His sign off was beautiful.
"I think I can happily admit defeat on this one, it can wait until Monday."
To which I replied: "no worries brother, if you need a hand give me a shout."
Rule 1: Don't be a cunt.
Rule 2: If someone needs help and you can give it: Give it!
Rule 3: Don't interrupt James' cigarette time.
Rule 4: goto Rule 3.4
After doing the work he requested as he wanted he was not happy. So i thought we sit and discuss what he didn't like. I was so wrong.
Boss: "...you know what I think you are: a fraud; Masquerading as a developer. The database design you have given is shit. The template I gave you I did in 1 hour. You took half the day."
He gave a simple template to use and he told me to come up with an ecommerce db design via downloading PrestaShop and seeing what is relevant to us.
Me: "what did I do wrong?"
Boss: "you think I don't know what PK means in database design? Why the fuck did you put this here."
Me: "can I expl..."
Boss: "I'm not finished, you been here half the month and what work have you to show for it..."
Me: "I have..."
Boss: "You shut up when I can speaking"
Boss: "You have no work to show for the time you have been here. I tell you what to do. I want someone who is proactive. My friend, you will do the work I tell you to do, you understand?"
Me: "yes but can I just say that I have been doing your work I have the contact the various developers as you..."
Boss: " You shut up when your boss is speaking. Can you do this work? (Slightly long pause)
Me: "I can do it. But, I have done the bits of the work you said I do. I was h..."
Boss "don't give me bullshit stories...you haven't done the work..."
Me: "But you have spoken"
Boss:" You know what Im giving you 1 weeks notice if you are not able to do the work. Can you do it?"
That moment!!! I was literally shaking I could have high fived his face with his laptop.
Me: "yes I can"
Boss: "Then get the fuck out of my sight and do it"9
Secret job interview tomorrow, I've had it with this place and it keeps getting worse. Today they took away the last thing that made it liveable and forced me to have 5 hour longer days for the forseeable future. 3 of them with no extra pay.
I have kids I barely get to see today with longer days I will never see them.
Fuck this, I'm out.13
not me ranting but it's a funny story about a rant
So I work on an Android app, that was literally copied from ios code, because the ios app development started 1.6 years earlier (business decision)
You have developers copying swift code to java, and the app is crap, full of bugs... I am the newest addition to the team so I'm currently cleaning up this mess.
Anyway, the ios app works perfectly, the Android app however has litterally 0 crash-free users.
So all of a sudden, one day at the office, I hear my fellow ios dev screaming " what the fuck, you retarded peace of shi?! this is fucking nonsense".
I'm like , guys, can someone re-boot him please? Wtf happened? (everyone laughing)
It turns out someone posted a review on apple store, 1 star, complaining that the app doesn't work on Android, and now the rating on Google play is higher than that on apple store.
He gets upset about it every day, and I'm like... fuck it, I'm not fixing no bugs if they go complain on apple store!!! 😂 And then he goes ranting about it again.3
"There is a problem with A, could you check it out? It's urgent for the client"
Me: Okay, just open a ticket for it too.
*Working on A"
After about ten minutes:
"Hey, there is a small problem B and it's also urgent for the client, we need you to check it out"
Me: I'm working on A and you are yet to open a tick... (Interrupted)
"But it's urgent and it's a small fix, we can fix it and push it to prod, A can wait for a bit"
(Since when is it a "we"?)
Me: *sigh* fine, lets see what's B is all about...
*After going over problems C to Z*
"Why isn't A ready yet? The client's mad and it was to be ready as of today"
Me: Because you had problems from B to Z and they were all urgent according to you so after each request you asked of me I had to postpone A with you knowing about it.
"But A is for today!"
FUCK YOU, YOU WORTHLESS WASTE OF JIZZ! YOU RAN TO ME FOR EVERY GOD DAMN URGENT PROBLEM YOU HAD FROM OUR SHIT OF A CLIENT AND INSTEAD OF TELLING ME THE PRIORITY YOU JUST THROWN IT ALL IN A RANDOM ORDER!
FUCK YOU! I WISH YOUR FATHER WOULD'VE SHOT YOU OUT THE WINDOW INSTEAD OF INSIDE YOUR MOTHERS CUNT!5
I've seen several rants about dumb/useless teachers, college and the CS degree studies; today is a good day to vent out some "old" memories.
Around two semesters ago I enrolled in a Database seminar with this guy, a tall geek from the 80's with a squeaky voice, so squeaky mice could had an aneurysm if they listened to him.
Either way this guy was a mess, he said he was an awesome coder, that we were still "peasants" when it came to coding, that relational databases had nothing on him since he was an awesome freelancer and did databases every day, that we had to redo the programming course with him and with his shitty, pulled out of the ass own C++ style guide with over 64 different redacted rules.
He gave us sample code of "how it should be done" in Java...it ain't my favorite language but fuck me a fucking donkey could have written better code with his ass!! He even rewrote Java's standard input function and made it highly inefficient. He still wrote in a structural paradigm in OOP languages! And he dared to make this code reviews were he would proyect someone's code and mock it in front of the class as he took off points, sometimes going to the negative realm (3,2,1,0,-1...)
But you know what's shittier? That he actually didn't even attend, 90% of the time, it was literally this:
> Good morning class
> Checks attendance. . .
> I'll be back, I'm going to check in...
> 1 hour 45 minutes later (class was 2 hrs long) - comes back
> do you have any doubts?
> O.o no...? I'm ok.
> We're done
Not only that, he scheduled from 4 to 17 homeworks throughout the week, I did the math, that was around 354 files from everyone; of course he didn't check them, other students from higher semesters did and they gained each point taken from students making students from lower semesters get the short end of the stick.
How did I pass? He didn't understood my code or database schema and he knew he couldn't fail me as he had no ground to stand on.
Thanks for listening, if you got to the end of this long ass post and had a similar experience I'd love to read it.13
So my colleague which is in his late 50's has left for 2 weeks. How coincidental that the programs that have worked for years to do the same process have suddenly stopped working on the first day of the week of his leaving. His code is in VB, the automation relies on Excel macros and some other wizardry and it is just an absolute mess that does dodgy things like moving cells by deleting rows and columns where he has filled the data with pipe symbols. I understand wanting job security, but most of your processes shouldnt simply fuck up.
And in case you read what I say and wonder if my anger is a bit misplaced - he told me with his own words once in the past that he makes his programs only understandable to him on purpose so that he is always needed. But my manager doesn't understand anything technical, and so he will come and blame me when these other people cannot receive the reports they need to do analysis for 2 weeks fucking straight.
Never been so fucking stressed at work, hate fucking cunts that want to pop up after 2 weeks and "save the day" when the problem was of their own creation. 9 months more and I'm out, fuck this shitty ass job.8
Holy fuck the Instagram Android app has the WORST UX I've ever encountered!
I'm a professional Android developer and my girlfriend had to explain how to see a specific "story" more than once; IE; tap on it until it rotates round to the first! But tapping on a video post turns on the sound! What kind of dog shit for brains moron designed those interactions to be the same?
I can navigate around the app until all but one of the tabs displays a profile page when I navigate back to it. Lost much?
The center tab breaks that but only because it opens up a whole new screen out of nowhere, (bye bye bottom bar!) which repeats the "photo capture" that you can also get by swiping left on the left most tab!
Don't even get me started on the swiping! None of the tabs swipe between each other, like the convention, oh no. But some of them can swipe, yes!
The first tab swipes left and right, where the hell do they go you ask? Look for the obscure icons at the top (oh and bye bye bottom bar again!). The forth tab swipes but only to the left, they have text tabs like standard. That screen that comes up out of nowhere I mentioned? That can swipe too, but now the text tabs are at the bottom for god knows what reason as the top is empty!
On the profile tab we have more tabs. These are icon tabs inside the content now. The first two change the post content from a feed style to a grid, okay, so far so good. The other two? You'd imagine they also change how you view content right? Nope, one shows your favorites, and the other replaces the whole screen with a "photos of you" screen! With not only the bottom bar still showing, but an up button! Where the fuck do we go "up" to on the home screen??
Then we have the bookmark icon on the toolbar, which opens up a new screen "Saved", guess where that tabs are this time? They're back at the top! You know why? Because the navigation bottom bar is still there!! And there's an up button!!
At this point I'm just about ready to kill myself using this fucked up, backwards facing, ass for a face app that is somehow one of the most popular platforms on the earth, yet seems to have been made by five different designers on opposite ends of the planet!
God damn fucking shit.
Now I know again why I don't do apps.
This is a app as simple as can be:
Enter a link, click a button, do a http request, download a file.
BUT FUCKING HELL WHY ARE YOU SO FUCKING RETARDED ANDROID?!
I'm not familiar with java but i don't care why is this so freaking unintiutiv to get shit done? Why are there thousands of ways and none works or atleast at a easy way? Make an object for this, make an object for that...
THIS IS RETARDED.
In PHP a simple "file_get_contents" would do the job. I were even down for some curl shenanigans if it were an easy implementation. BUT GOD DAMN.
URL url = new URL("http://fuckinghardcoded.com")
Oh no can't compile because that MIGHT be an invalid URL. Ok try catch this or just tell the rest of the Programm to watch out for this bad boy cause he might throw a MalformedURLException.
Ditch that and try volley. Everything is document except how to fire that queue! Does it do that by itself? Do I really have to do an override to a function while declaring? CMON ON I'M A WEBDEV IS THIS TRYING TO DO A FUCKING CALLBACK AND IS THIS TRYING TO BE AN ANONYMOUS FUNCTION??? Why is this so frustrating and confusing? I'm also mad at myself this is dropdead simple shit but I can't get it to work. Fuck this, fuck java , fuck android and fuck myself11
So I'm sick. But my inner coder tells me that I could atleast do some basic design for my project.
So I go to sit down at my home computer and immediately feel my nose literally start dripping of snot as soon as I lean in to sit. So lile any normal man i take a tissue, wipe and blow my nose and it's now time to login on the computer.
Oh, I've must been to quick
*Slowly type my password in*
*Fuck it, show password*
A space is missing.
Alright I'll just add it in then.
So I rip out the space bar and find a two little drops of snot that must have juuuust fallen between the cracks.
I tried to wipe it away and put the space bar back, but it's dead. :(5
For some reason the office I work for is paying for a designer to become a front end developer and she gets to take the classes one work time. Any time I want to further my career or pay I have to pay out of pocket and it can't interfere with work. Additionally I have to deal with her asking me every other day why I use Sublime over something else.
Basically I use Sublime because I spent too much time researching new things to try and learn yet another editor. If you wanna use brackets, cool, if you wanna use atom, cool, if you wanna use notepad, cool. I don't give a flying fuck what editor you use, you're writing CSS, I'm writing PHP, if you can count to 4 spaces, and not look at my code, I'm not going to scream at you.
She comes in each day and sits at her desk watching video after video on beginner HTML and CSS asking me mundane questions breaking my concentration at least once an hour.
I know we all started somewhere but Google was my best friend and should be yours as well.7
I've run into problems with the app I'm working on, the problems are related to issues regarding code.
No in fact it's related the last guy who wrote the app, the code has no comments and the variable names make no sense, the only comments in the code are blocks of code... With no reason as to why it was commented.
I have to add in some checks to determine if a person that has logged in is a full member or not (full member has access to the feature I've added) and the way the guy has made this app works makes no sense to me at all.
I've tried my best to avoid all contact with his code because it makes me want to yell out in frustration.
But for this one case I have to work with what's there.
I know I've mentioned this before but I've hit my limit yet again.
And for those who don't know this guy managed to scrape together skeleton code from two apps to make part of this app, rather than using parts of the other apps he left out code that was specifically made for the other apps, (majority of the commented out code).
One app was a taxi app and from the looks of it the feature he used was to get GPS location (which I don't understand before Google maps is a think after all... The taxi app USES Google maps), the other app is some sort of funeral webcasting app (I found code imports for it, without any actual code).
I don't actual understand how this guy could put this together without not thinking "maybe this is a bad idea"
Always code as if the person who ends up maintaining your code is a violent psychopath who knows where you live
I'm that psychopath right now..... Fuck that guy (don't know where he lives though)2
So I just read about Tim Sneath leaving MS to join Google, and now I hate my life :)
We have those tools for cross platform apps
2. React Native
3. Flutter (dart)
5. ??? (am I still missing something?)
FOR FUCK SAKE not only I had to learn three programming languages to be able to do mobile apps now I need to learn JS shit for mobile development cuz obviously this is the "trend" of the fucked up future and I'm sure people will keep on coming up with shitty frameworks and some random fucked up customer will request to use that shitty framework ...
Sorry had to get it out of my system :)9
Me : I should start building user authentication system.
inner self : there are enough free and secure ones out there, just go read the documentation.
Me : fuck I'm not reading 10000 pages of documentation written in alien language.
inner self : well then you better start building
Me : **writes code
Inner self : you better add the data validation and security while coding
Me : I just want it to work !
Me after a few days trying not to suicide : the site is hacked, the code is bugged, hello darkness my friend5
** Trigger warnings: I don't need your opinion and most of your advice. **
Situation: I'm almost finished with installation of BlackArch.
Event: disk utility complained about home directory being 100% full.
/dev/sda2 is full. Another directory with the same details is also listed. It's weird. Checking disk utility again and going du step by step to see what's wrong.
Home is full.
Home is full.
250G is full? How even?
Home/.Private is full.
Dafuq is that?
Everything in it seems encoded. Huh.
Looks up online. Someone mentions encoded backups. Huh. I didn't set up backups because I selectively backup anything that's worth backing up. Huh. Alright one way to know. Deleting the biggest files.
Delete has no effect. It comes back.
Anything seems wrong? Nope? Shift+delete.
Alright, that seems lowered in disk utility, why does df still say full?
Clicks on home. Accidentally clicks on videos.
WHAT THE FUCK?
Workspace is lost.
Vms are all lost.
Videos are all lost.
Documents are all lost.
I feel sleepy and down all of a sudden.
Was on discord at the same time. Someone said recovery. Grabbed the first one that came out of Google. PhotoRec.
More than an hour later, it has finished.
Not everything is recovered. Way too many encrypted files. And mostly recovered stuff from trash. I didn't have anything important that I don't have a backup of, but it hurts. All my test stuff, dev stuff, all gone.
Everything is gone.
I'm so close to giving up. Yesterday, I travelled 4 hours in one direction for a job interview for a graduate position as a web developer. As I arrived at the interview, I was welcomed by a senior dev and one of the HR people.
I sit down and they start explaining how everything will commence(standard procedure stuff) and afterwards hand me the technical test. At this time I am super calm cause I did my homework, checked out their products, their websites and knew right away what I was going to work on. As I turn the page, I see at the top with huge fucking capital letters "JAVA OOP test".
I take a minute and look back at them, like wtf is happening. Turns out that they are looking for a java dev. They picked me for the role because I had literally 1 fucking sentence in my CV and where I have said that I studied java in one semester of uni. FYI my entire portfolio, cv and cover letter are focused on JS, html, css both for client and server side.
As the fucking HR guy stood there and asked me "is there something wrong", I felt broken inside. For the first time in my fucking life I felt like I was done and couldn't continue anymore. I felt like this is some bitch-slap from karma about something but I still can't figure out what. I just walked out of there being unable to realize what happened.
I just feel like I should end my developer career before it has even started, just go do business analysis or something. Why the fuck would someone put a job description entirely talking about Angular, Less/SASS, bootstrap and jQuery and then say that is a Java dev OOP role. Who the fuck allows those people to take good salaries yet still deliver the up most shittiest quality service.
Before the interview, I checked out their websites which are simply horrendous with the comparability of a fucking baked potato. Idk really what to do, I don't mean to sound as a whiny little b.... but as I walked out of their office, I felt broken inside. Sorry for the long rant.8
Microsoft Office Sharepoint Server.
There is no technology on Earth that speaks worse of Microsoft than is this crap. Nothing they ever made (not even Comic Sans) is as bad as Sharepoint.
No proper editor. Everything is slooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooow. To run it you need a state-of-the-art server. There is no way to make the UI modern, as Sharepoint itself is built upon 1995 era HTML. Tables in tables in tables in tables in tables. And even if you do a web part that's readable, it will be wrapped in shit and presented to the client anyway.
It's so easy to break too. Most of the time I was just watching why the fuck it didn't work. Huge problem with caching as well. Deploying any change requires 10 minutes of manual labor.
I get why companies want to use it. Out of the box it's got quite a few very nice features, and aside from the problems setting it up, and hardware requirements, it works decently well.
But I won't come near it unless I'm paid 100$ per hour or starving to death.10
Never EVER buy a Mac as your primary PC if you're a developer.
Back in 2014 I bought an iMac because I already had an iPhone, and being able to code on xCode and also have a Windows partition seemed perfect. It wasn't.
Soon enough, I started encountering issues. My storage was randomly filling up, my computer started getting slow despite me having a small number of start apps and still a lot of storage available, it was all a mess.
So - I installed Windows 10 using Bootcamp to use it as my main OS. All was great until I wanted a new partition of Windows so I can test some things out without damaging my stuff. I try multiple methods, none of which work because my disk is not in the right partition format, and I don't want to change it because I'd have to format the whole thing.
Whatever - I give up, and try going back to my normal partition, disappointed. Guess fucking what?! My Windows Boot was damaged! Yes, I shit you not!
So - not only was this absolute piece of shit not able to add just one more fucking partition with an OS on it, but it BROKE my main partition, and now I'm trying to recover it.
I've said it once and I'll say it again: Never EVER get a Mac as your primary computer, unless you only work on Mac/iPhone apps.
For paying 1300$, I was expecting a seamless experience with little to no issues - yet all I got is a computer that's fucking broken from it's very core.
Fuck you, Apple.13
Fuck smartphone companies for bailing on Bluetooth (and NFC) as reliable inter-device ways to transmit data. Fuck Apple for no USB to PC file transfer. Fuck Google and Apple for their walled gardens and failing to make file transfer work over Bluetooth between their systems.
Bluetooth is a teenager with the mental state of a baby. The industry birthed it but failed to raise it to great heights. Seems to me it's fallen to simply being a wireless peripheral device connectivity protocol.
Where are all the cool NFC apps that work? Where is out-of-the-box support for Bluetooth file transfer? (I see you Android and Linux, ty). Why is desktop support for Bluetooth file transfer so awful and unreliable? Why the fuck doesn't BT transfer between Linux and Mac work?
Even between two Android devices of the same manufacturer I couldn't transfer shit over NFC.
P2P Bluetooth mesh networks
Bluetooth file torrenting
Bluetooth encrypted chat that nearby phones can join
BT doc sharing..
Correct me if I'm wrong so I can see the light.12
I wanted to try out Linux after growing up with Windows, so I tried installing Zorin on a PC.
Everything looked fine while installing, but it wouldn't boot without the install USB, which I still needed for other stuff.
So I tried installing Solus instead. Same problem.
Then I said "Fuck it, I'm using Ubuntu."18
When I see two fields, one for username and one for password, I expect I can fill them out immediately subsequently with only a tab in between. While typing my password I DON'T want to get sent to a page where I can enter my password only: I was entering it already! Sometimes I even make it until I pressed the enter key that was supposed to log me in, but then I'm kindly requested to reenter my password. At that moment I not-so-kindly think: FUCK YOU Microsoft, you should know better. Even when logging into Visual Studio for fack sake3
(Best read while listening to AEnima by Tool, loudly)
Dear Current Workplace,
Fuck you, for the reasons enumerated below.
Fuck your enterprise grey blue offices, the stifling warm air of a hundreds of bodies and sub par "development laptops".
Fuck your shitty carbonated water machines which were a cost saving measure over decent drinkable water.
Fuck your fake "flexi time", "you can do home office whenever you want" bullshit. You're still inviting me to mandatory meetings at 09:00 regularly.
Fuck your shitty, in house, third part IT provider sister company. They're the worst of all worlds. If it was in company, we'd get to give out to them, if it was an external company we'd fire them. And yes, when I quit I will quote the dumpster fire that is our corporate VPN as a major factor.
Fuck your cheery, bland, enterprise communication. Words coming under the corporate letterhead seem to lose all association with meaning. Agile, communication, open are things you write and profess to respect, but it seems your totally lack understanding of their meaning.
Fuck your client driven development. Sometime you actually have to fix the foundations before you can actually add new features. And fuck you management who keep on asking "why are there so many bugs and why is it always taking longer to deliver new releases". Because of you, you fucknuts, Because you can't say "NO" to the customer. Because you never listen to your own experienced developers.
Fuck your bullshit "code quality is important to us" line. If it's so important, then let us fix the heap of shit you're selling so that it works like a quasi functional program.
Fuck you development environment which has 250 projects in a single VS solution. Which takes 5mins plus to compile on a quad core i7 with 32 gb of ram.
Fuck this bullshit ball of mud "architecture". I spend most of my time trying to figure out where the logic should go and the rest of the time writing converters between different components. All because 7 years ago some idiot "architect" made a decision that they didn't have to live with.
Actually, fuck that guy in particular. Yeah, that guy who was the responsible architect for the project for 4 years and not once opened the solution to look a the code.
Fuck the manual testing of every business process. Manual setup of the entities takes 10mins plus and then when you run, boom either no message or some bullshit error code.
Fuck the antiquated technology choices which cause loads of bugs and slow down development. Fuck you for forcing me to do manual tests of another developers code at 20:00 on a Friday night because we can't get our act together to do this automatically.
Fuck you for making sure it's very clear I'm never going to be anything but a code monkey in this structure. Managers are brought in from outside.
Fuck you for being surprised that it's hard to hire competent developers in this second rate, overpriced town. It's hard to hire anywhere but this bland shithole would have anyone with half a clue running away at top speed.
Fuck you for valuing long hours and loyalty over actual performance. That one guy who everyone hated and was totally incompetent couldn't even get himself fired. He had to quit.
Fuck you for your mediocrity.
Fuck you for being the only employer for my skill-set in the region; paying just well enough that changing jobs locally doesn't make sense, but badly enough that it's difficult to move.
Fuck you for being the stable "safe" option so that any move is "risky".
Fuck your mediocrity.
Fuck you for being something I think about when I'm not at work. Not only is it shit from 9 to 5 you manage to suck the joy out of everything else in my life as well?
Fuck you for making me feel like a worse developer every day I work here. Fuck you for making every day feel like a personal and professional failure. Fuck you for making me seriously leave a career I love for something, anything else.
Fuck you for making the most I can hope for when I get up in the morning is to just make it until the night.4
Today is the day. Dumping Windows 10 for Linux. Fuck that shit. I have been using windows since forever, but right now me and Windows are over. So, windows, I'd like you to take your shitty out of nowhere error messages and fuck off. Since yesterday the OS was stable BUT NO YOU HAD TO SELF-DESTRUCT. WINDOWS EXPLORER SUDDENLY DECIDED NOT TO WORK. THE DRIVER OF MY WIFI ADAPTER SUDDENLY STOPPED WORKING PROPERLY(WTF) AND MY HARD DISK STARTED SPINNING LIKE CRAZY. AND GUESS WHAT WINDOWS. GUESS WHAT. WHEN I CHANGED TO LINUX EVERYTHING WAS FUCKING BACK TO NORMAL AGAIN! FIX. YOUR. SHIT. I. DONT. CARE. THAT. YOU. GAVE. IT. TO. ME. FOR. "FREE". SHOW SOME RESPECT FFS!!!
p.s uhm, sorry to bother you, is there any linux distro you would recommend? First time using linux...Yes. I'm pathetic.11
I am done. Want me to fix someone's PC because you are to lazy to do it? Fine, I might learn something, I don't mind. Oh you want to do it together? OK, maybe you learn how to do it. Oh you don't want to do it my way because you don't know it so it's retarded and i'm a piece of shit? You know what? Go fuck yourself you retarded cunt. Go fix that fucking laptop yourself. You have everything you need: a Debian image, a hiren bootcd and a windows USB. So just go and do it you piece of fucking trash. I could care less if you break it. Oh now i'm stupid because I didn't flash an Ubuntu image huh? Good. Take that laptop right out of my face you retarded piece of garbage and fix it yourself16
Fuck sake :(
So I just checked my bank to find out I'm in an extra £300 debt because my fucking letting agency took my rent AFTER I MOVED IT FOR £98 BECAUSE I COULDN'T AFFORD IT.
Why the fuck is the world throwing turd after steaming turd at me, first the streets, then family, then job, then debt, now a constant barrage of shit. Just feel like ending it now so I don't have to deal with this shit anymore, fuck the human race and the shithole upside down society they've made :'(8
I don't understand why people are making a fuss about Facebook.
It's free to use, the amount of users kept increasing (thus the cost of maintenance) yet the company kept getting bigger and bigger. Obviously they're not making all their money off the advertisements on Facebook's own website.
So why are people so surprised that they're "selling" user information?
This is really funny to me. Especially the media joining in saying that it makes all your information available to everybody when they're actually talking about the fact that the majority of Facebook users have their profile set to public and they can be easily found with a simple Google search.
People are so fucking hypocritical it makes me want to puke. If you don't want anybody to know what you posted, just don't fucking post it on a SOCIAL MEDIA in the first place.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that facebook is all flowers and love, they clearly didn't handle this situation well. They could have done something about this whole situation when it started instead of waiting for things to blow out of proportion.
However, people are just being assholes now. I highly doubt that they're reading all chats nor are they sending it over, they're probably just sending out some words you mention often so that it is pertinent for advertisers (ex. If you use the word computer next to buy, then maybe that triggers something). I could talk extensively about it but I'm way too lazy, the point is, they most likely aren't sending the nudes you sent to advertisers because that does not provide any benefits.
If you don't like Facebook, don't fucking use it. Delete your account and shut the fuck up. When you screw up in real life, there's no takesies backsies, why the fuck do people think it doesn't apply online? The government gathers up quite a lot of information on you yet I don't see you crying your eyes out.
Why the fuck do you care so much if an advertisement is tailored to specifically? Yeah, you talked about dildos and now you see dildo ads from Amazon, not happy? Just download adblock and shut up. If you're gullible and the moment you see an ad about single women in your area you click on the ad because you want to get laid right now, that's your problem.
Don't want people knowing about some aspects of your private life? Don't share it online.
Stop acting like people are any better at keeping secrets, I'm sure you had some people leak your secrets at least once, yet I doubt you sued them and you brought them to court.
I'm sorry about this, it's just that Facebook is all over the news and I'm getting sick of it.
Also, I hate facebook, I'm not necessarily defending it, I'm more pissed at the medias for blowing this situation out of proportion.44
"I'm not complaining, I'm just pointing it out"
Yes, and I'm going to point out that you're throwing insults around like a maniac, which makes your "opinion" seem emptier and emptier, until it resembles your cerebral matter as if it was a shadow copy of it. Fuck you.1
I've just wasted 50 fucking minutes trying to extract MP3 tag information per Elixir's binary pattern matching, and wondered why the fuck it wouldn't work on on MP3s I bought on Bandcamp. I was about to run amok with a baseball bat when I found out that ID3v2.3 tag information is saved in the FIRST, not the LAST 128 bytes, and start with 'ID3', and NOT with 'TAG'.
Yeah, yeah, it makes sense, because Bandcamp MP3s should be optimized for streaming, but fucking hell, I want my 50 minutes back!
I'm such a fucking stupid, useless tool!5
TL;DR age != competence
My boss is a fucking computer illiterate self taught programmer.
Don't get me wrong, he can do shit, pretty shitty but it gets done...
But the dude has 38 fucking years old and somehow still searches for keys on the fucking keyboard and struggles to touch type anything...
I sometimes crying the fuck out when I have to help him with something...
I'm having a mini fucking panic attack right now just thinking of it... Fuck
He is our "manager" but doesn't even have the fucking balls to confront his own subordinates when they need to be confronted... Everyone is aware of this and everyone is fucking around... And no one sees any consequences... I wonder why deadlines are always missed...
He is so passive that every fucking thing someone asks he goes and says it is OK...
I was studying same psychology about ignorance and I think he lacks the understanding that shit is hard to do...
We literary had a conversation the other day something like that:
Boss: so, what do you think? One call to the api for it to return all data or multiple calls to return smaller ones?
Me: well... It takes ~180ms just for latency to the server for one call, if you have 10 calls it will take 180*10ms, it is better if we have one call and cache it if necessary on the backend.
( he has no fucking clue wtf caching is, besides browser cache)
Boss: (looking confuse AS FUCK!!) Well, I don't get it... Maybe I'll test it later.
Me thinking: test how you dumb motherfucker? On you fucking workstation with no fucking latency?
There is no fucking test. I'm stating it. IT IS A FUCKING FACT!
Me: well, it takes that for the call to go to the api and come back , its simple math. 1 == 180, 10 == 1800.
I'm such a dumb fuck....
It took me fucking 30 mins to figure out that I use a function which relies on a copy of an object that's copied one line after the function call instead of before...
PLEASE KILL ME8
So yesterday, this babe posted on a Facebook group saying she was looking for a tutor for her Python course in uni. I though to myself, "I'll be good lad and help someone out for the good of it". I messaged her and said I'd help when she asked me how much I was charging.
WAIT I'M GETTING PAID FOR THIS ?
"Awesome, this is gonna be the easiest job in the planet". Here I was the idiot, about to do it for free.
So we decide to Skype(The new interview feature) so I can start teaching immediately. Mind you it was 3 am in the morning. I'm a night owl and we're a time difference of FUCKING 14 hours.
So I opened up the skype interview website and sent her a link. 10 mins later I realize that I don't even fucking have webcam drivers installed on my laptop that I'd been using for over 2 years. How the Fuck does that happen?
Anyways I start searching for drivers and realize it's going to take a hell of lot more time to install the drivers. So I boot into Windows, YUCK, went on Skype and asked her what she knows so far. She says she knows the basic syntax and concepts. So I ask her to do a simple while loop and she puts the print outside the fucking loop. "Oh well, i guess it's going to be a long night".
Two hours of absolutely no progress later, she sends me a small 2 page pdf which is her homework/exercise. I politely told her I'm not there to do her homework, but I can show her how to do the concepts. After a while we ended the chat and I decided to go to sleep.
*gets up from the bed*
Wait, why did she look so worried about the homework? I opened the pdf.
I should have asked for higher pay. This is going to be impossible.
Fuck me :/6
I fucking hate the Safari browser to death.
This piece of disk space waste is 50% of the reason why I have to spend hours to find out what the fuck is incorrectly displaying or not working on W.I.P. websites.
The other 50% is Edge, IE <=11 and Firefucks.
Just for piss smelling Safari, I need to either run a VM with Crapple OS X for debugging or borrow a Crapbook from $randomPerson.
Is it fucking not possible to compile Safari blowser to run on Linux or Winblows?
Eventhough I'm disgusted about Google and its privacy and data mining policies, Chrome is the most decent browser there is on the whole digital world. It only happens extremely rarely that something is not working/displaying as expected during development.
Most browser developers seem to be useless pubes eaters and like to shower with curd soap.13
Tl;dr college is pretty much just a waste of time and you're probably better of teaching yourself.
What the fuck is wrong with college/ the educational system, I can't speak for any other colleges because I've only been to one. How the fuck can it be so unorganised, shit, and pretty much useless.
Currently were writing an assignment using a spec with a scenario that is completely unrelated to what we are actually doing, having to try and work it around what we are actually doing, like it literally has the text "replace with (different scenario title) scenario" where the title of that scenario still isn't our fucking scenario, how the fuck does this even happen.
It gets even better, were doing an OOP unit "finally something interesting, I might actually learn something" (I could never have been more wrong)
Teacher recites a powerpoint for a good hour and a half if not longer (not even exaggerating).
We're then told to copy and paste this shitty generic code into visual studio, you know, because that's how you learn right.*
So we copy the code into visual studio and it's pretty boring because there's no thought to it, it's not exactly challenging, a child could probably do it. So a couple lessons of that same repetitive bullshit goes along (each lesson covers one aspect of OOP, sounds reasonable ish well it would be if we were actually fucking taught properly) so I decide to change the code up a bit just so that I'm not bored to death and might actually find something interesting to play about with, teacher comes round and looks at what I'm doing and says something to the extent of "no this is wrong, this isn't what you were asked to do" and it goes back and forth about how its wrong (it wasn't that wrong from what I remember, I asked him where his example would be used in the real world, "it wouldn't be" I was trying to make it more of a real life example so that it wouldn't seem as shallow and pointless) idk maybe someone can back him up and tell me why I'm in the wrong? but surely as a teacher you'd inspire your students to go out make mistakes and change things up to see what works and what doesn't? That to me is an effective way of learning, that's how I see it at least.
Luckily our other (less incompetent) teacher should be taking over the OOP unit so there could be improvements.
Are other teachers like this or have I just picked a shit course in a shittier college?
There's also the false promises that we've had such as "you'll learn backend stuff with nodejs" has that happened in the year and a half I've been here? Fuck no, of course not because why would we (this was said around the first half of the first year) so about half of the class doesn't know anything about back end web stuff, only reason the other half do is because we're enthusiastic about this stuff and want to learn. (Not necessarily saying the others don't want to learn they might just not have as high of an interest in web stuff as others)
There is a complete lack of enthusiasm in pretty much everyone in the class for these "lessons" because of this bullshit, it's gonna be a long few months.
* Yea I guess we could learn from reading it, understanding it then writing it but that's just uninteresting and ineffective why not have practical examples that could actually be implemented into a project? And have something that's not just copy and paste.14
So I was setting up my friend's NAS. Got everything worked in minutes (dns, port forwarding etc.). Enabled ftp connection tried it locally, working. Tried remotely, timed out...
After half an hour I was about to tear my hair out one by one when he suddenly said to wait a sec he knows what's the problem. Tapped two on his phone and suddenly, it's working.
THE FUCKING PHOTO UPLOADING FROM HIS PHONE TO THE CLOUD BLOCKED ALL INCOMING CONNECTIONS AND HE WAS AWARE OF THAT ALL ALONG. WHAT THE FUCK MAN, DO YOU ENJOY SEEING ME STRUGGLE?? That was literally an "I'm out" moment.
TL;DR: If you make a contest where people get to vote online fucking make it right!
And here's the story: I play in a local coverband to make some cash on the side and because I love making music. We entered a contest hosted by a local radio-station. The first round was determined by judges and now 5 bands remain and of those 5 only 3 get to be voted into the final round. In the final round every bands wins something: 3rd place 250€, 2nd place 750€ and first place 5000€.
Now that stupid dipshit of a web-designer of that radio-station made a website where you can vote and it only fucking sets a cookie. You can delete it and vote again. You don't need no E-Mail and nothing. It doesn't even block multiple votes from one IP. It doesn't do shit.
Even my bandmates (who don't work in IT) where smart enough to figure out that you can just delete the cookies...
I think that now every band except for one is cheating. (we have over 5000 votes and combined all bands have like 4000 FB-Likes and sometimes and Band gets like 400 more votes in an hour) This is such a fucking messup and I don't know what to do. Maybe they'll look into stats but if they're so stupid to make a contest like this in the first place, maybe they won't. And even if they look into the stats it wouldn't be fair to kick out a band with much votes because how the fuck would they know if the band themselves cheated or if it was a fan of the band or even an enemy of the band just to get them kicked out.
I'm afraid of talking to the radio-station as a part of one band because maybe the web-designer there just gets frustrated and bans us from the contest entirely.
This is just fucking frustrating.6
Backstory: A few months ago, I wrote an inventory management web app for internal use by the sales team, logistics, and whoever else might need to use it.
Earlier this week: A few minutes before I usually leave, my phone rings. It's some dude I've never heard of. No idea what his function at the company is, still don't, probably never will, don't care. He's never used the app before, and says he's having problems. His cube's on my way out, so I swing by.
I'm not making this next part up. This dude is probably 60 years old, and he's using a very old looking gateway desktop (with the cow print logo thing on the chassis), running Windows XP (not a typo), using IE7.
I don't know what to say, so I just stare at the desktop, look at dude, laugh, and eventually explain that he's never going to be able to use the system via the web app until his rig is replaced.
What the fucking fuck is this. How could this have happened. How do our it people still fucking have jobs. Better question, how did this thing survive the y2k bug?9
Doing exams at the moment. Finished phase one out of four successfully at Monday but now stuff is going bad again as usual. Seriously, with me, everything goes perfectly fine until stuff gets official, then code starts failing, self doubt comes up and fair of failure and low self esteem hit me like a bomb.
I'm using my own framework which I actually also use in production and it works fine! But then it has to start to fucking fail at the moment I need it to work the fucking most.
I've worked towards this for five years now, I don't want to fail this! I don't want to disappoint either myself or my friends or my parents.
First day out of 10 exam days today! Have to use windows which I'm obviously not a fan of but oh well I'll manage.
But really, at first it didn't recognize my headphones (regular headphones input). Fair enough, after the admin fiddled around for half an hour we got it working.
*lets install Firefox and chrome*
The installers wouldn't launch at all, bit of fiddling around aaand it works.
*lets use Ms word again then*
Every time I try to save a file it gives shit tons of errors.
Found out that it does save but only with those errors.
*alright let's open up some pdf files*
"Error: no permission to use this application*
Oh come the fuck on just work I've got important stuff to do with a lot of time pressure!
I DON'T MIND USING IT ONCE IF I HAVE TO BUT COULD THAT COCK SUCKING PIECE OF SHIT JUST FUCKING WORK?!
The worst part, I wasn't the only one with trouble, multiple people still don't have the jackplug thing working :/2
Alright, this my fucking rant right here. Distraction? This whole company is a distraction! Boss decided to throw us all in an open work environment doing jobs that require careful concentration. Straight outta college I'm getting handed vague ideas, (make a desktop app that helps our customers put data on the internet, make an iPhone app) with out so much as an inkling of what technologies to use, just make it work.
Ok I will but when you hit a roadblock with very little resources to draw in it's hard to stay focused.
On top of that since I worked in support for a year I'm our senior support person! But sometimes support just doesn't use their brains and I'm using my time to solve very basic problems.
That brings me to my next point, the goddamn piece of shit that is our telephone. Fuck that thing when it rings it's never good. Moreover, since I don't want to get roasted for not being responsive I have the motherfucker forward to my personal cell. So I answer every fucking call and I get so many spam calls!
Not to mention I'm mainly running the hardware show around here. Shits broke I'm the one fixing it. Need new shit I'm putting the order together.
Tried to get a new guy to be the sys admin, ordered a 6th gen board with a 7th gen proc, had to pull 3 machines apart to get that sorted. Then he left bc family issues, and has been gone for weeks.
The other devs are also slam up busy, and the main product is about 15 people's piss on a plate of garb age spaghetti. (I got a lot of shit going on but at least I'm the only one pissing in my spaghetti) it's a constant run around if who does what with a code first plan later mentality causing confusion and delay.
Nobody wants to help anybody because they are also annoyed with this setup and are getting bitched at by customers or management.
Sales is mostly composed of a bunch of crackhead yes men and women who just want a commission and only half know the shit we sell and have sold 15 new features that had not been discussed. But management always says make it happen. In what priority? It's all a priority they say! Wtf.
So yea, then it brings me to me, dealing with this much chaos at work makes it seem like a high amount of chaos in my life is normal. I'm just now learning to control this.
I've had to do a lot of growing up as a person and as a developer. I've went from being the most junior to about the 3rd most seniors and I've no doubt my efforts have contributed to the growth of the company.
I'm a big believer in coding flow, and that it takes at least 15 mins to get in that flow and about 5 seconds to break it. There is no do not disturb on the company chat, everything always on fire it seems.
So fuck a lot of this, but I've done the research and where I'm at is the best opportunity in a 100 mile radius. So I am thankful for this job. Plus I usually win the horror story contest.
So TL;DR the biggest distraction is every fucking thing in this god forsaken place.5
devRant already replace SoundCloud as my orange app in the main screen...
To be fair, SoundCloud was just there to complete the rainbow.
Rant: this app told me that my rant would be safe if I closed the Post Rant window (since I can't post more than one rant per hour or something) but it didn't save my awesome tags! I feel betrayed.23
I hate white boarding sessions. They feel unnatural to me. I simply don't work well when put on the spot and I have 3 ogres staring at me waiting for me to fuck up in front of them. Fight or flight engages, the adrenaline rush, my mind freezes. Suddenly it's like I forget how to code at all and I'm expected to solve a problem at once, correctly the right time, or I'm out.
I can't work like that. I need time to process a problem on my own, with my coffee in my one hand and a pencil and scratch paper in the other, not with some demanding employer standing over my shoulder the whole time scrutinizing my every key stroke. I get things wrong the first time sometimes, and more often than not have to google things I can't recall spontaneously. But I always figure it out, test it, make sure it's right before putting it into use.
I've been through several "probationary" periods when first starting a job. They just tell you, they're giving you a month to see if you can handle the job. If not, sayonara. I don't see what's so hard about evaluating candidates in a real world scenario.
So many employers have totally unrealistic expectations.2
First time rant here, and I'm just gonna let fucking loose because this seems to be a good place for it.
My uni can't teach programming for shit. It's the reason people sign up for the course. They want to know how to program. I'm self-taught and unhappy in college as it is.
I joined CS because I thought they'd assimilate work in the real world, which is experience I need. I realized early on that programming is like art, and I love the rush I get of something finally working right.
That said, they sucked the fun out of it. It's too structured. Everyone trying to get the same goddamn result. In the real world, we'd be working on a larger project that involved planning, design, communication, teamwork, and the ability to complete each of our own pieces of the puzzle and subsequently put them together in a project that works for the end user.
I'm paying to be a fucking sheep, people. Why do employers give a shit about a degree instead of talent? Welp, fuck society for this. You can tell me I can drop it and still get a good job, it'll just be harder. That's the fucking problem. I can't get a job if these incompetent fucking bastards will throw out my resumé the moment they see "self-taught."
If we could hire based on GitHub contributions, I think many of us here would be relatively better off. Programmers program, not socialize. We do socialize, but in our own little groups. We team up as needed. The moment the jackass in HR realizes that, the better off we'll be.
Sorry, just the way I'm seeing shit right now. I'm going through some OCD-induced depression and this might be a result of that, but I'm passed the point of giving a fuck.16
Flash has made Java programs look desirable. And anyone keeping up with me knows I despise Java and C#, despite having written C# and currently working on deciphering a Java server to create documentation.
The reason for this outburst seems unreasonable until you realize the hell I went through today. At my University, there is a basic entry-level psychology course I'm taking. Pearson, a company I already fucking hate for some of the ethically sketchy shit they pulled with PARCC as well as overreach in publishing to the point they produce state tests here in the US - has a product called "My PsychLab" and from here on out, I'm referring to it as MPL. MPL has an issue - it is entirely fucking Flash. Homework assignments, the textbook, FUCKING EVERYTHING. So, because of that, you need to waste time finding a browser that works. Now let me remind all of you that just because something SHOULD WORK does NOT mean that it actually does.
I'm sitting on my Antergos box a few days ago: Chromium and Firefox won't load Flash. I don't know why, and don't care to find out. NPAPI and whatnot are deprecated but should still run in a limited mode or some shit. No go on Antergos.
So, today I went to the lab in the desolated basement of an old building which is where it's usually empty except a student hired by the university to make sure nobody fucks things up. I decided - because y'all know I fuckin' hate this - to try Windows. No go in Chrome still - it loaded Flash but couldn't download the content. So I tried Firefox - which worked. My hopes were up, but not too long - because there was no way to input. The window had buttons and shit - but they were COMPLETELY UNRESPONSIVE.
So the homework is also Flash-based. It's all due by 1/31/18 - FOUR CHAPTERS AND THE ACCOMPANYING HOMEWORK - which I believe is Tuesday, and the University bookstore is closed both Saturday and Sunday. No way to get a physical copy of the book. And I have other classes - this isn't the only one.
Also, the copyright on the program was 2017 - so whoever modded or maintained that Flash code - FUCK YOU AND THE IRRESPONSIBLE SHIT YOUR TEAM PULLED. FUCK THE SUPERIORS MAKING DECISIONS AS WELL. Yeah, you guys have deadlines? So do the end users, and when you have to jump through hoops only to realize you're fucked? That's a failure of management and a failure of a product.
How many people are gonna hate me for this? Haters gonna hate, and I'm past the point of caring.7
Python. Ok, so it's a really cool language, as a scripting language it's awesome, quick to write.
When it's been used to make full fledged oop programs that you suddenly have to maintain things like duck typing become problematic. Looking at an object fuck knows what methods are available. Worse still when some bastard that thinks he's being clever doesn't bother declaring any object attributes and instead overrides the __set_attr method to dynamically add them as they are used there is no hope for the poor sod that has to maintain it later.
I've also now worked out I'm at least the 3rd person having been given the task of maintaining it, i spent a day changing CLI options wondering why they didn't do anything but occasionally crash the app. I've now found a few thousand lines deep that someone had hard-coded these values because they couldn't work out where to get the CLI args from!
I've gained a new appreciation for nominative, strictly typed languages.11
//little Story of a sys admin
Wondered why a Server on my Linux Root couldn't build a network connection, even when it was running.
Checked iptables and saw, that the port of the Server was redirected to a different port.
I never added that rule to the firewall. Checked and a little script I used from someone else generated traffic for a mobile game.
OK beginn the DDoS Penetration. Over 10 Gbit/s on some small servers.
Checked Facebook and some idiot posted on my site:
Stop you little shithead or I will report you to the police!!!
Checked his profile page and he had a small shitty android game with a botnet.
1. let him be
2. Fuck him up for good
Lets Sudo with 2.
I scaled up my bandwith to 25 Gbit/s and found out that guys phone number.
Slowly started to eat away his bandwith for days. 3 days later his server was unreachable.
Then I masked my VoIP adress and called him:
Me: Hi, you know me?
He: No WTF! Why are you calling me.
Me: I love your're game a lot, I really love it.
He: What's wrong with you? Who are you?
Me: I'm teach
Me: Teach me lesson
He: Are you crazy I'm hanging up!
Me: I really love you're game. I even took away all your bandwith. Now you're servers are blocked, you're game banned on the store.
He: WHAT, WHAT? (hearing typing)
Me: Don't fuck with the wrong guys. I teached you a lesson, call me EL PENETRATO
He: FUCK Fuck Fuck you! Who are you???!!! I'm going to report you!
He: I got you're logs!
Me: Check it at Utrace...
He: Holy shit all around the world
Me: Lemme Smash Bitch
there's this club at my school, called STEM, and another called "science olympiad." both are pretty cringey, bad, or boring. science olympiad was just for the college credit. during the intro to the club, they said there was a coding section. "game on!" is what they dubbed it as, where basically you're timed to make a game in scratch. i'm fucking tired of it. why is scratch considered programming? don't get me wrong, i'll write an OS in PHP before i say code.org is better than scratch, but fuck it. its a fucking interpreted language that's interpreted by another interpreted language. i don't understand why this shit is still used. scratch isn't good. please codecademy or w3schools or just write in binary directly, but not scratch. my hand hurts from dragging and dropping, my eyes hurt from the light theme, my imaginary cat committed suicide after learning about scratch's mascot. fuck it. now onto stem club, fuck it too. not for being bad (well, kinda), but for not being more recognized. it should be above science olympiad, and other clubs because you actually have to think instead of just memorize. but alas, we still were offered the choice of scratch to program the robot. sigh. arduino much? i guess not. challenging much? nope. was i elected "leader"? with three of my friends out of the eight there, i could have been, but no. effort in this would be depressing.1
Me: Hey MD, can you just quickly sign off on the wording for this CTA in the menu for going back to the main platform when you're logged in?
MD: Hmm.. it seems a bit wordy.. by the way where's the other menu?
Me: other menu..?
MD: The menu that was there before when you were logged in.
Me: We agreed several months ago it was to be binned. That was the old design.. this is the new design.
MD: I don't get why you're making a new menu with a new CTA when we've already got one built (which is totally different from the design you've been adhering to for the last few months and that I personally signed off)
Me: Well we can't change the spec now... It's Thursday at 4:30pm and tommorow is a bank holiday, and therefore we're not back in till Tuesday which is deployment day.
MD: I don't care. Change it.
( Starts furiously coding up a new menu which only shows when logged in via a cookie etc )
( Everyone comes in and leaves at 5:30 to say bye and have a good weekend)
( MD walks in at 6:30 )
MD: What are you still doing here? It's 6:30 almost 6:45 and we've got a 4 day weekend?
Me: Building the new menu that you asked for 1 hour before the end of the day.
MD: *Sniggers and giggles* ... Okay well have a good weekend!
( MD walks off whilst I'm still working and not making eye contact or taking my headphones off )
( Last person of the company walks in 10 minutes later )
Ollie: Dude I'm locking up you got to leave now.
Me: But if I get leave now I'll get bollocked next week for not finishing...
Ollie: Come on..
Me: Ugh... *Git add .* *Git commit -m "Fuck my life"* *Git push* *Enter in SSH password* *Lock computer and walk out*
So, monday I posted a rant saying that monday was a terrible day and that I was probably going to be fired/quitting soon.
Wednesday, I'm told that the project I had been working on for about a week was changed 2 days ago and to stop working on it.
Yesterday, I signed in and asked if there was any work for me (I work remotely) and nobody really responded so I just found something to work on. (This whole time, I'm thinking oh fuck, about to get fired) Then, about an hour before I was to sign out, I get a message saying that I'll be working on a new project starting today.
this morning, I signed in and had a meeting to get info on my new project. After the meeting, I check my bank account to see if I had enough money to order something and notice I had a bonus from the company. MFW.. So I asked one of my managers if there was a mistake and if it was supposed to go to someone else, and they said no. Of course, I said thank you and left it, but I STILL have no idea what it was for. https://youtube.com/watch/...2
My team lead be like when we're in a meeting with the boss:
He: I'll have a working session with her, we'll brainstorm on how to come up with a better design and improve such and such feature, once that's done, we would call you to have another meeting.
Boss: sounds good, I'm looking forward to it.
Me: *internally rolls eyes...*
He: thank you everyone.
couple of minutes later, I get a message from him:
He: hey, it turns out I'm busy and I can't have that session with you, do come up with a new idea/design and share it with me.
Me: .... *fuck you, like you didn't know you were busy before making that fake promise*
The fucker will take credit again for things he didn't do.8
One of my clients is driving me crazy. And my boss is just not able to properly deal with this client.
On the technical side this project is a bug-f-ck-fest due to mixing of legacy code, different approaches on how to do sh-t and worst of all no single source of truth. Everyone in my team knows - this is FUBAR. Nobody on the team actually wants to write code for this sucker anymore and I got… "volunteered".
So, one day the client calls me. Again some f-ing bug on that damn piece of sh-t, sorry excuse of a software project. By his description I get the feeling that it is actually a bug - and not a fault on OSI layer 8 (which it is 99% of the time).
So it's time to get bloody again - time to mirror that absolute bullsh-t of a DB, where no one kept any f-ing consistency in how they name their sh-t tables… and start debugging.
So I navigate to the screen in question, click the button, debug that puked out spaghetti code only to figure out that it's working.
I mirror the production DB and try it on production - it f-ing works.
WTF IS GOING ON?
Call the client and they call the vice president who reported the bug and they started going through it with me over the phone.
This is what f-ing happened. Again, both of them are there, sitting next to each other and I'm on speaker.
Me: "Alright, move to the screen and click the button."
They: *doing sh-t on their computer*
VP: "It still doesn't work, how hard can it be to get this done."
Me: "This is impossible, I just tried it and worked fine, what…"
President [P] (simultaneously with me, talking to the VP): "Hang on, I think you missed the button, did you actually hit it?"
Me (thinking): "What the actual f-cl are you idiots doing."
VP: "Oh, now it works".
Me: "Alright, glad it works, have a good one!"
*check if phone is hung up*
WHAT THE FUCKING SHIT ARE YOU DOING. HOW THE FUCK IS IT SO HARD TO FUCKING CLICK A BUTTON. ARE YOU THAT ? HOW THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO FINISH THIS BIG PILE OF SHIT IF YOU'RE NOT ABLE TO SIT DOWN AND USE IT PROPERLY.
ARE YOU INSANE? OR DO YOU WANT TO PERHAPS DRIVE ME CRAZY ON PURPOSE? I DON'T NEED THIS SHIT ANYMORE.
Classic case of being technologically impaired.
Any seniors around here? How would you handle this? This is the only project I've ever been assigned to, that makes this amount of problems.4
So I wanted to update my visual studio. Turns out I cant because WPF (Apparently the Installers uses it) has a problem with broken fonts.
Okay. No problem I thought. I uninstalled all 720 fonts and re-registered them, filtering out the 3 broken ones. Checked the time-stamp as suggested. Everything fine. Had to reboot. (Of curse.)
Rechecked the fonts, reports as okay. Tried to start the installer BUT THIS FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT SOFTWARE CRASHES ON ME AGAIN WITH THE SAME FOCKING ERROR. IT DOESN'T EVENT WANT TO FUCKING TELL ME WHICH FUCKING FONT IS THE PROBLEM. I CHECKED EVERYYYY SINGLE FUCKING FONT. NOT THAT THERE IS NO FUCKING WAY TO FUCKING CATCH A FUCKING FUCKER EXCEPTION IN THIS FUCKING WORLD. I mean seriously. Why would you crash on a font THAT YOU DON'T EVEN USE IN YOUR FUCKING FUCK PROGRAMM TO INSTALL YOUR FUCKING PICE OF SHIT SOFTWARE.
But, IT GETS WORSE. TURNS OUT MICKY FUCKING SOFT KNOWS ABOUT THIS FUCKING BUG SINCE TWO-FUCKING-THOUSAND-FOURTEEN.
And they didn't fixed it. Nooooooooo. THEY FUCKING WROTE A FUCKING WORKAROUND THAT DOES NOT FUCKING WORKKKKKK AND KEEP PUTTING THIS FUCKING BUG IN EVERY FUCKING INSTALLER SINCE THEN.
Can you tell I'm pissed? YES? GOOOOOOD. BECAUSE I FUCKING AM.
MICKYSOFT CAN GO AND SUCK A FUCKING APPROPRIATE THING TO SUCK IN THIS FUCKING SITUATION.
THE BEST? THEY EVEN FUCKING DARE TO ASK ABOUT MY FUCKING FEEDBACK. YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU GET MY FUCKING FEEDBACK. TOGETHER WITH A FUCKING BAG FULL OF FUCKING SHIT TO YOUR FUCKING HQ
CAN I HAVE A FUCKING STRESSBALL NOW
Well, the impossible needs to become possible again.
"you will shit out a full website for this customer in two days! Fully responsive, 16 pages, and it better be good!"
Yeah. Ok. Fuck you. My attitude stinks, but your expectations and temperament kind of forge my attitude. Now tell me how in fucks name i am supposed to just stop administering over 3000 users and god only knows the ever growing amount of servers, stop all my server side development, so that I can make a site for a customer paying the company the equivalent of $100 for it (because sales people here are retarded) and get zero fucking commission or even a thank you for it.
Nah. Fuck this.
Tired of complaining, and I'm sure you guys are just as tired of it.6
I recently got a notification that said "the are 590 new rants since your last visit" or something like that.
At the time that I got that notification the last time I logged on was only a day or two ago. And I'm not even subbed to that many people!
You all need to chill the fuck out. It shouldn't be healthy for you all to be this angry all the damn time.2
I'm currently developing an integration to an API and I found out a bug.
So I asked the contact person for the API if this feature was intentional. I did this on their forum for the API and I sent it as a private message to him.
I got a response telling me that they dont have the "sufficient details" to answer my question and that they would investigate the feature "comprehensivley".
5 minutes later I see a post on the forum in the developer section from the contact dude and it was my fucking question.
So now he's asking the users of the API if his and his companys own bug is intentional.
What the actual fuck?!
Is this how you investigate things "comprehensivley"?
Yesterday afternoon I had a meeting. The room they reserved was somewhere I have never been, but I have a map of the company, so thought it would be going to be fine.
Our company area is big. Very big. It's commonly called a town within the town. When you see it on a map you think, yeah that's pretty huge. But when you are in person on this area, only then you realize hiw ridiculously gigantic this thing is. We even have our own buslines.
I checked the map (this thing is a little worn out, but I thought I read it right) and was on my way in time. I found a door that said "109", which is the entry where the meeting was supposed to be. Went to the first upper floor. Increased security, no entry for me. Fuck. Began asking people, but noone even had an idea, where the room could be...
Because the meeting was towards the end of the day and I already was WAY too late, i went home. Next time, I'm gonna write down the attendants phone numbers so I can call them, when I can't find the room. Lesson learned.
Today. Received mail asking where I was, there had been 4 people (2 of them sub-department leaders (sadly I can't come up with a better translation)) waiting for me. It's funny, considering I'm only a student. I answered I was sorry, bla bla, I learned my lesson bla bla etc. Shortly after that the next meeting is scheduled for next monday, attached a map pedantically describing how to get to the room. Level of passive aggression > 9000.
Huh. Apparently there's another entrance 109 about kilometer further north. Interesting.14
This is the craziest shit... MY FUCKING SERVER JUST SET ON FIRE!!!
Like seriously its hot news (can't resist the puns), it's actually really bad news and I'm just in shock (it's not everyday you find out your running the hottest stack in the country :-P)... I thought it slow as fuck this morning but the office internet was also on the fritz so I carried on with my life until EVERYTHING went down (completely down - poof gone) and within 2 minutes I had a technician from the data centre telling me that something to do with fans had failed and they caught fire, melted and have become one with the hardware. WTF? The last time I went to the data centre it was so cold I pissed sitting down for 2 days because my dick vanished.
I'm just so fucking torn right now because initially I was absolutely fucking ecstatic - 1 week ago after a year of doomsday bitching about having a single point of failure and me not being a sysadmin only to have them look at me like I'm some kind of techie flat earther I finally got approval to spend around 5x more per month and migrate all our software to containerized micro services.
I'll admit this is a bit worse than I expected but thanks to last week at least I have recent off site images of the drives - because big surprise I have to set this monolithic beast back up (No small feat - its gonna be a long night) on a fresh VPS, I also have to do it on premises or the data will only finish uploading sometime next week.
Pro Tip: If your also pleading for more resources/better production environment only to be stone walled the second you mention there's a cost attached be like me - I gave them an ultimatum, either I deploy the software on a stack that's manageable or they man the fuck up and pay a sys admin (This idea got them really amped up until they checked how much decent sys admins cost).
Now I have very flexible pockets because even if I go rambo the max server costs would only be 15-20% of a sys admins paycheck even though that is 13 x more than our current costs.3
Hoo boy, this is a (very) long one, so read at your own risk,
I'd say, don't judge/generalize people biased by the minority that represent the larger group,
But on the other hand, it's very difficult to do so, especially when working in a group consisting of several dozens of people (devs, tech leads, testers, designers, etc), in separate sub groups
Well first, the devs aren't working with the expected atentiveness to quality & detail, I am not in any way the best developer in terms of knowledge, in fact I might be just a mediocre developer compared to the other tech leads or the other fellow developer, but one thing is that I always tried to learn and try my best to do it in the best way I can,
Quite frequently (and from several specific persons only) I had the honor to experience these farce,
Some people just don't want to admit that they are wrong, clear as day, this specific part here is not doing what it's supposed to do due to someone's negligence, and I was trying to find out how it actually works and how can we fix this, that's right, "we", I'm not even pushing anyone to clean up his mistakes alone, I'm also taking part on it because that became my responsibility when I touched that part of the code, and it's my duty to make sure the job is done, and what did they do? Long story short, somehow the guy was getting angry for an unknown reason, then speaking in high tone implying that it's not his problem anymore, passing the responsibility to someone else, and ultimately everyone said I should figure it out by myself, yeah fuck you all, in the end I was very relieved to be moved back to my original squad and not having too much interaction with their group,
Some (probably) less worse occurences are the devs who rush ahead before they code, literally, it's not the usual "code first, think later", it's way more advanced version of it, let's say some tester found a bug, then it's assigned to a developer, the developer doesn't even bother to check the ticket description, only read the vague title, and doesn't even bother to check the actual behavior on the app, suddenly, there's a Pull Request waiting to be merged, it's mind blowing to see how his PR doesn't actually solve anything, in the end, it confuses several reviewers until they actually run it on their local machine and found out that the bug is either has been fixed or not recurring anymore or the fix doesn't do shit, fucking waste of time
And what about the testers? Sure let's not forget the stereotype about devs vs testers and vice versa, but the ones I'm working with is a real piece of work,
I have no problem with the testers who put a lot of bug tickets, or the ones that is very critical in their bugfinding process, at least that means they are doing their job properly, the ones that dotheir job improperly are the ones that ends up wasting everyone's time, just like above
One time, a tester was reporting a certain UI bug, a certain text was overflowing, it's an edge case and was assigned to me since I works mostly on UI,
A day went by with no avail at my attempt to replicate the bug, turns out he was testing it with his personal phone, which was not included in the device requirement for the project nor described in the bug ticket, but since the screen resolution checks out, the bug is considered valid,
Second day went by with no avail of replicating, my time spent trying all kinds of devices, simulators, emulators, until, the 3rd day a very lucky occurence happened with one other testing device, and another tester reported duplicate bug, obviously I borrowed the phone, and inspected every inch of possibilities, until I noticed something, "the font's kinda bigger on this phone" I thought, then I checked the settings, and lo and behold, the bug is caused by the device's font settings, fuck it, and fuck you
Another time was when I'm not sure whether the testers was being lazy or just acting preoccupied with something, when we create a PR, the specific branch must be tested by tester to ensure nothing broke because of the changes, then only when the tester OK'd it, the PR will be merged,
This thing frequently happens, especially when working cross teams, it's as if that the other team's tester is not responsible for my work, eh, here's two middle finger for you, I'll include my toes also, YOU ARE THE ONE REPORTED THE BUG FOR FUCK'S SAKE, and now you act like it's none of your business?, what's so hard about testing one single branch for a single teeny weenie feature and say ok on it, it won't even take 15 minutes, because I can do it in just 10 minutes, but only the testers had the authority to say that a certain PR is good to merge, fuck it
Last, the point above, "only the testers had the authority to say that a certain PR is good to be merged", and they seem to be flaunting it and act like an important person, fuck you
That doesn't cover half of the antics I saw, but whew, it sure is refreshing to finally speak it out4
I'm porting code. Help.
I barely know the madness behind this - zero comments, undescriptive 2 or 3 letter variable names, matrices shown as a bunch of vec3s, inconsistent naming conventions (Fuck naming conventions when the variable names are near nonsense anyway - vs, na, ba, ca, a, b, c, Rxy/Ryr/Rzr0/1/2, cx, sx, cz, sz, n0, n1, n0v, n1v, dotrzrxry, sy to name a few).
Solution: Just copy this code, slightly adapt it to use my own inputs, and never look back on it ever ever again ever.
This code has been out and in use for over a year and some months now. Over that time, a few brave souls like me have looked at it and tried to make sense of it. No-one has dared to decode the madness behind that section this entire time.
Oh and don't even get me started on the rest of the code! 943 lines, 4 of which are comments, next to no blank spacing lines, basically zero horizonal spacing also, integers dependent on knowing exactly how much madness there is, etc.
And all the other files have basically zero comments/spacing also.6
* le me signing up *
"choose a less commonly used password"
5 tries later, of combinations:
"choose a less commonly used password"
Well, fuck you too! I tried all passwords I could easily remember! Do you want me to sign up or WTF?!?
(I'm trying a system out, I don't wanna get it through my long-ass keychain)4
You motherfucking incompetent useless collection of hairy ballsacks even a trained monkey could do a better job than you do. And I swear once we literally cross the 99% availability rate I will find your headquarters and smash everyone's face into each of your fucking servers then set that whole place on fire.
You forget to flush the DNS cache after moving my server (of course on Friday when else), here is 2 days of error page for my site, whoose instructions a normal user simply couldn't follow. Not to mention it pointed to the wrong article.
Random 503 error, and you aren't answering my phone calls, though usually I am the first one who informs you of a fucking problem with your fucking server and I have to wait 5-10 minutes in line while you are figuring out the problem.
And now random forbidden error for my whole page. Out of nothing. I've changed nothing. You said one hour earlier that it's your mistake and it will took around 30 min. Still nothing.
I'm fed up with all your bullshit. Go fuck yourselves.
In my office there's a dev who regularly takes figurative shits on other devs — stuff like publicly shaming others for their mistakes, or dropping a conceited "I told you so" whenever his solution turned out to be the right one.
He's a young guy, still has lots to learn about office etiquette, and I know he usually means well (he privately apologized to me once after I told him to fuck off), but I'm not sure he knows of the effect it's having on the other devs he talks down to.
I like him enough that I don't want to go to HR about it, but I don't know how to approach the situation in a one-on-one level with this guy. I do know that something needs to happen, but I'm not sure how I can help the situation.
For now, he shuts up when I point out his flaws in logic and reveal that he's still got lots to learn about his demeanor.
Yesterday I applied for a summerjob as a Software/Webdeveloper at some companies. Today I got a call and they tell me I have the job. When I asked what kind of things I will have to do there the Recruiter didn't really know, so I accepted because fuck it.
Later I got told that somebody from the team will be calling me. So i ask that guy what I'm going to be doing and he tells me they have a old sharepoint application that they need to migrate to a new sharepoint version.
So I read up on sharepoint and find out about the languages ASP.NET supports aaaaaand it's about my least favorite language C#. (Well actually that would be Visual Basic but nevermind) We did some C# in school but I never got fond of it.
But hey learning something new ain't so bad or is it?
What are your thoughts on Sharepoint, ASP.NET and C#?24
Was forced to do some work on Windows this week (CAD tools that runs only on Windows). I spent a few days just setting up the tools. There were quite a few things I realized I forgot about Windows (as compared to Linux).
1) Installation times are down right horrific. What exactly are the installer doing for 10 minutes?
2) .NET is a cluster fuck. Not even Microsofts repair tool can fix it, but rather just hangs. I ended up using another tool to nuke it and reinstall.
3) Windows binary installs are insanely huge, thus, takes forever to download.
4) The registry is a pointless database that must have been written in hell with the single intent of destroying users will to live. The sole existence of the registry is another proof that completely incompetent engineers designed Windows.
5) Rebooting is the only way to solve many problems. This is another sure sign of a fundamentally fucked up OS design.
6) What the heck is wrong with the GUIs designers? The control panel must be the worst design ever. There are so many levels to get to a particular setting I'm getting dizzy. Nothing gets better by the illogical organisation.
7) Windows networking. A perversion of the tcp/ip stack that makes it virtually impossible to understand a damn thing about the current network configuration. There are at least 3 different places that effects the settings.
8) Windows command prompt. Why did they even bother to leave it in? The interpreter is as intelligent as retarded donut. You can't do anything with it, except typing "exit" and Google for another solution.
8) Updates. Why does it takes hundreds of updates per month to keep that thing safe?
9) Despite all updates that is flying out of Redmond like confetti, it is still necessary to install antivirus to keep the damn thing safe. That cost extra money, and further cost you by degrading performance of your hardware.
10) Window performance. Software runs like it was swimming in molasses. The final stab in the back on your hardware investment, and pretty much sends performance on your hardware back a few hundred bucks more.
11) Closed source is evil. If something crash consistently, you might find a forum that address the issues you have. Otherwise you're out of luck. On the other hand, it might be for the better. I imagine reading the code for Windows can lead to severe depression.
I'm lucky to be a Linux dev, and should probably not complain too much... But really, Windows, go get yourself hit by a truck and die. I won't miss you.14
This was some time ago. A Legendary bug appeared. It worked in the dev environment, but not in the test and production environment.
It had been a week since I was working on the issue. I couldn't pinpoint the problem. We CANNOT change the code that was already there, so we needed to override the code that was written. As I was going at it, something happened.
Manager: "Hey, it's working now. What did you do?"
Me: *Very confused because I know I was nowhere close to finding the real source of the problem* Oh, it is? Let me check.
Also me: *Goes and check on the test and prod environment and indeed, it's already working*
Also me to the power of three: *Contemplates on life, the meaning of it, of why I am here, who's going to throw out the trash later, asking myself whether my buddies and I will be drinking tonight, only to realize that I am still on the phone with my manager*
Me again: "Oh wow, it's working."
Manager: "Great job. What were the changes in the code?"
Me: "All I did was put console logs and pushed the changes to test and prod if they were producing the same log results."
Manager: "So there were no changes whatsoever, is that what you mean?"
Me: "Yep. I've no idea why it just suddenly worked."
Manager: "Well, as long as it's working! Just remove those logs and deploy them again to the test and prod environment and add 'Test and prod fix' to the commit comment."
Me: "But what if the problem comes up again? I mean technically we haven't resolved the issue. The only change I made were like 20 lines of console logs! "
Manager: "It's working, isn't it? If it becomes a problem, we'll work it out later."
I did as I was told, and Lo and Behold, the problem never occurred again.
Was the system playing a joke on me? The system probably felt sorry for me and thought, "Look at this poor fucker, having such a hard time on a problem he can't even comprehend. That idiotic programmer had so many sleepless nights and yet still couldn't find the solution. Guess I gotta do my job and fix it for him. I'm the only one doing the work around here. Pathetic Homo sapiens!"
Don't get me wrong, I'm glad that it's over but..
What the fuck happened?5
This fcktard client that insist on using an iframe and demands support for browsers like IE7. You are costing me years of my life.
Fucking fuck of a Microsoft trying to protect people against tracking from 3d parties in an iframe in random ways in some versions of IE7. Or IE11 in IE7 compatibility mode.
If you are going to refuse sessions just do it! I got a fucking check and fix for that. Because these fuck faces friendly people at Apple like to refuse sessions on iPads and iPhone too. But we worked that out, because they are at least consistent. So a few dirty little hacks made it all Okay.
But no, Boo Hoo I'm Microsoft and I will throw a tantrum. I like my browsers to be like an magican, instead of an usefull piece of software. If you look in this page, or look here we got them. I got your sessions, safe and secure.
But when you need me, to verify that the user is allowed to access data we do a little hocus pocus and now they are gone. Nowhere to be seen or found again. Fun times free fucking magic shows all day long.
It's morning but maybe its time for a bottle of scotch. Maybe if I'm in the state as this browser. Where I don't know what I'm doing because I'm shitfaced drunk it will start working.
When in Rome do as the romans do.6
Installed Unity for a game I'm working on. Realized I didn't reinstall VS when my SSD got corrupted. Didn't install VS plugin w/ Unity.
So now I have MonoDevelop. It's not a bad editor, but PLEASE. IF YOU ARE GOING TO HIGHLIGHT A FUNCTION WITH RED BECAUSE IT DOESNT EXIST IN THE CLASS, THEN TELL ME, WHAT THE FUCK EXISTS IN THE CLASS!
Unity's JS implementation is terrible.
First, let's throw basic syntax shit out on the window. string.toUpperCase? Nah, let's make it string.ToUpperCase to annoy the shit out of devs.
AND SOME OF THE STANDARD FUNCTIONS ARENT EVEN FUCKING WORKING!
Need to use parseInt(string, 2)? WELL GO FUCK YOURSELF, BECAUSE WE DIDNT IMPLEMENT THAT SHIT.
...or use C# I guess...
After submitting a registration form I noticed the site is served over plain HTTP. Their marketing site is served encrypted, but login and register are not! What the fuck!!!
I contacted them so I might have a continuation to this rant if I'm not satisfied with their answers.
TL;DR: shitty day, but stickers made my day
First off, I'd like to thank @dfox and @trogus for the stickers.
I had a really shitty day, It started off something like this. Usual day at University, faculty not teaching anything. Messed up shit with the girl I like very much, still not talking at this point. Pretty much downhill. Start teaching myself some Android, while this junior comes up me to be like 'please teach me this', ok sure. He fucking leaves the moment I start installing homebrew on his mac and says "you exploiting my mac", NO FUCKER I NEED A PACKAGE MANAGER TO GET PACKAGES YOU DUMB FUCK. Further, that day, come to know its half day and not going to learn shit. WTF! But still, I get attendance so it's good. I suggest going to this new cool place to grab lunch. the girl I like goes like this "Let's GO TO JAILLLLLLLLL, IT'S COOL PLACE TO HANGOUTTTTT" , LIKE. WHY THE FUCK YOU WANT TO HANG OUT AT A PLACE WHICH LITERALLY IS NAMED 'JAIL'. Fuck it, let's go. SO. FUCKING. NEGATIVE. PLACE. Food is ok, not good, ok. I'm fucked up and sad at this point because love of my life is hanging out with other people, I'm ended up in the shit corner of the world, with shit food. AND I HAVEN'T DONE ANY THING PRODUCTIVE.
But in the end of the day, I reach home. open gates see this parcel and I'M HAPPY AS FUCK. IT'S FUCKING STICKERS, OMG.
Seeing those stickers I realized I don't need to be sad anymore. Writing this post just to thank this amazing community and the members in it. I love you guys all, :) <33
So, it's 22:40 here and I'm sat on a bench staring out at a pond because my stress and anxiety is at an all time high after a couple of weeks of hellish arguments with work and my personal life so as were all developers here to some degree let me convey my fucking thoughts here.
If you care more about maintaining your fucking superiority complex over writing good clean efficient code then get the fuck out of the industry.
I don't give two fucks whether you use Linux or Windows. I couldn't give two fucks about whether you use sublime, Emacs or VIM. I couldn't give two fucks about the framework you spend more time defending than coding in, because absolutely none of it matters if you code like a retard on bath salts you pretentious cunts.
Stop feeding you fucking ego. Absolute cluster fuck of an industry.5
Suck my sweatty balls you cock sucking, brain washed ignorant flat earth mother fuckers. If only evolution was more aggressive, we'd have gotten rid of you in the stome age. But hey you can still choke your crap filled mouths on fucking tide pods you stupid cunts.
If only people would stop bashing technologies just because their news say so.
Seriously every forum I visit, there's always some post saying "fuck technology x, it's ..."
Poor me, a dev, sometimes fails to ignore idiots and replies to such posts. "But it's not anonymous, the government said.."
"it is against god's will, our *insert religious figure here* said..."
Fuck your cock sucking governments!!
It's just like every fucking innovation ever. First religion: I'm not against religion at all, if it's something that brings a person peace of mind... but please keep away from interfering with scientific progress. After all if you're so sure about what you're believing in, there's nothing you should be afraid that science would reveal, no?
Then governments: government? Manipulating people? Feeding brains shit? pfftt when does that happen?
Fuck every cock sucking government.. except you know, tbe good ones I guess :p
If people listened to those ignorant cunts back in the days, we'd still believe we're the center of this whole fucking universe, and that a whale ate the moon every now and then...
And then you find out ignorance is infectious. Ignorants start spreading ignorance, and if enough ignorants believe some shit... the shit becomes the truth.
Can you please fucking read about the thing you're about to ignorantly bash before doing so?
Can you stop listening to news and governments about this crap? If anything it's in your govs best interest to keep you afraid of progress.
I'm literally just talking for the sake of it, It's what rants are for no?
Idk I should probably just ignore idiots on the internet... but there's a limit to how much ignorance and stupidity you can take.
At least we'll never run out of restaurant employees I guess5
Is it just my country that doesn't want to teach programming to students in schools, or at least give them an idea of how this machine you use all the time and how these apps you use daily work, or it's the case in all countries in the world?
I'm 15, 2 years and a half away from finishing school. All what school taught me is how to type on fucking Word (not even advanced stuff, just writing text and selecting it and clicking on B to make it bold, like really? And that's taught for like 6-7 years!!), how to make a very simple PowerPoint presentation and put numbers in Excel and making some basic calculations. Well that's not of a big deal, but come on, those aren't stuff students in 9th grade must take!! What I learn now? Access!! Finally!! They are teaching me how to put values into tables. Great! I have no much problem with this, but what?! My friends/classmates are finding it hard and senseless, some of them are failing to animate text in PowerPoint using that animation pane, while I was in my home working on an android app (using Android Studio) that would steal their facebook accounts informations ( I was 14 and found it funny to trick them since they don't know shit about tech). It was basically a lie, the app had, like, a clone of the login screen of the original facebook app, and I told them it would change the design of your original facebook app and colors. They got excited and downloaded it. The app would actually not even want the permission of Internet (I forgot to fake the need of Internet permission). How the fuck did they not notice that?? I blame our school that doesn't teach shit. The app would actually asl them to login to their facebook accounts to change the design and stuff, while it would actually send the accounts informations to me via SMS. I tested it in my home on two phones, they can't actually notice an SMS was even sent. Very basic stuff eh?? I thought I could have a good laugh with them when they would tell me I was trying to steal their accounts, but what the fuck? I just got 5 SMS messages with the name of the friend, his e-mail and his fucking password to his account. I was like really? REALLY?! They didn't know shit. I taught they were planning a prank on me with fake informations, I tried logging in with one friend's information, but no, I actually logged in. Thanks to our school, this little, obvious and basic buggy trick worked, they were like ignorants. And I had to screenshot the SMS of everyone and send each one to they guy who sent it, telling him the truth behind this app that didn't change shit in their apps. They were mind blown and immediately changed their passwords. Next? They wanted a copy of the app that would send SMS messages to their numbers instead. I was like yes, but give me credit (silly). I was surprised no one asked me how I managed to make this app, until the fifth one asked me about the process of making it instead of a copy. I was happy to introduce him to Java. But fuck, he didn't even have a computer. He eventually told my other friends about this conversation. They were surprised to know that's how developers make their apps, but they still thought it's useless stuff to learn. And that's the story of the first app I released, to my friends... Next was a little 3D game (first person shooter) I made with Unity in C# one year later (6 months ago). They can't get over the fact I'm a computer genius, while I think I'm a very bad programmer who can't write few lines without stackoverflow, and I'm still blaming school for this. This year I told my teacher that I was disappointed with all this. He looked at me with wide open eyes and told him about how he got his actual job and that he learned programmation at school and talked about his little projects that he lost due to a hard drive problem in 2000 and all that stuff. I found hope that Lebanese people (I'm lebanese btw, from Lebanon, middle east) actually have a clue about computers/tech/programming, even if only like 5% of us. School would teach us how to sing "Monitor!! Keyboard!!" In 1st grade and end up teaching us how to type in 9th grade, but wouldn't teach us how these fucking machines work and how they read code, or at least give us an idea. I really want to become a game developer, I have the passion for it, but Goddamn it, there is no place where I can learn!! And I really wanna see my friends know how their stuff work instead of having no clue about their phones OS!! Is it the case in every school out there?? Because I think middle east is not as involved into tech as much as, like, Europe and the USA are, for example. Or am I just whining and I'm actually wrong and that's what shool is suppoed to teach us, alongside with what the fuck is the name of that thing that lets the plant breathe... I feel unlucky I can't learn already, I think I have the capabilities to. This is also my first post on devRant. It's been like one week since I installed the app and I already love it!! :D25
I'm pretty fucking sure that if I were to quit my job, I'd have to gather the fucking requirements, create the fucking user stories, and then JIRA the ever-living fuck out of it before I could submit my fucking resignation.
I just want to write fucking code.3
Fuck sake, so my bank has been migrating/rolling out new IT system and app/site have been broken for about a week (others noted evidence of devs debugging in production)
Assuming I don't lose my money as some mischievous assholes will inevitably exploit the fuck up, and rob the bank, I will be moving my funds to a different bank...
In mean time I'm trying to prepare for uni, and they're making a ton of semi-random changes in addition to rolling out a site with course details and info along those line, and good fucking god is it bad.
Is is slow as fuck? Check. Does it use never-seen-before naming for standard things? Check! Is the UI pulled from late 90's? YOOU BETCHA! Are the pages bloated with unnecessary content? Fuck yeah! Do I get SQL exceptions when I finally locate my course? Of course I do. Does clicking "back" take me back to the landing page instead of previous page, when I'm several steps deep? .....
I could keep going, but don't feel like ranting and feel more like punching someone in the throat.repeatedly.
Sins? I don't want to keep you up all night, so here are some highlights.
Fucking with clients and employers who fuck with me first, or waste my time.
Occasionally not documenting my code (I'm actually pretty good about this), then bitching about poorly documented code.
Honestly wishing other people in the office would *actually* explode, or die engulfed in flames.
Working drunk and/or stoned.
Getting pissed off when I have to do something in a stupid way, or use a workflow that I don't like.
Seriously fucking up out of either arrogance or stupidity, then blaming it on something else.
Zoning out, skipping work, or sleeping in and billing for it (see sin #1).
But my greatest sin? That honor's got to go to becoming a developer in the first place.
I wasn't always a professional asshole, but I fucking am now.1
Long story short a guy texted me on Xing, he had an interesting idea, I joined in and now we are founding a startup.
Short story long, a guy texted me on Xing. I usually don't give a fuck because there always just fucktards that want to offer me modern enslavement. No thanks you lifeless greedy hamsters! (no offense) This time was different though. It was not the usual kind of words and the idea sounded pretty awesome. So I gave it a try.
We met in a Café and talked about the idea and about my role in it. It went pretty well and we basically had a nice little chat, coffee and cake.
I was still not convinced. It sounded to good to be true. Why would something like this ever happen to me? You know that kind of feeling. It was like "Hopefully I'm not selling my soul to the devil now."
We now work on the project, already have 5 customers and are a step before the first financial investment. I'm pretty amazed how that turned out!
Now to disappoint you a bit more (or maybe to give you hope?) All I've worked so far (except that one little one-year internship) happend by, me talking to someone that had a job, me being honest about what I want and me rejecting anything that runed my guts inside out. That's it. I never really applied for something. I just get to know the people and with that comes the opportunity. Just be respectful, curious and honest. The others will notice. Chances rise that you'll find something you love todo.4
So like a year ago I decided that I was gonna learn programming. And the thing that popped into my head was HTML and CSS. So I browsed some websites where you could learn some HTML and stuff. But I never really got into it and eventually stopped and moved on. Now I just kind of got a sudden urge again to learn programming and build a website again. So I started browsing some sites and found a suitable one. Since I'd already kinda learned the basics it was all kind of just repetition. And now I've got a very basic site set up with Apache that I was thinking I'm gonna use as my homepage. And I also got my very first experience not understanding what the fuck is wrong and browsing stack overflow for an eternity. Turns out it was a simple missing semicolon. Welcome me to the dev world!6
I just started work school doing IT administration and development, I was excited, almost nervously anticipating to see the wondrous things I'd being learning and the kickass programs I'd be creating...
Alas I walked into my first lesson and...
Teacher: Today we're going to be learning how to make a square in Excel using VBR.
I thought, well fuck no - I didn't sign up for this shit. Then today I was on this thing called the internet, have you guys tried it? Amazing stuff, I saw a panda dressed as Chuck Norris... Anyway, I was on the internet and found out about this 73 year old man who makes full-sized artworks made in Excel.
Now I know the meaning to life, to Excel programming... It's official, I'm going to make Picasso in Excel.
*Light sarcasm, actual true story.*2
TLDR: Spent 2 hours debugging my discord bot only to figure out the bug is actually in the Java API and I'm apparently not supposed to use it.
So I started writing a discord bot today and one of the commands I was adding was to stop playing music, clear the queue, and leave the voice channel. For some reason the queue would never clear, I tried different things for hours, read the documentation of the API I am using 3-4 times to make sure I was doing this right. Finally I came to the conclusion that the API was just bored. When I asked in the community about it I was told "It's not recommended to use the built in functions". Well then why the fuck are they there, if you're gonna include them at least make sure they fucking work. Also if you're gonna tell people not to use them, why bother adding them in the first place?5
The more that Canonical is starting to behave like Microshaft, the more I'm starting to hate them.
Shove Snap package format onto the Linux community. Yeah, because .deb packages or motherfucking source builds with GNU Make weren't good enough?
WSL, getting in bed with Microshaft. Fucking great, isn't it... Don't get me wrong, I like this movement and on my Windows box (because NvuDiA Corp. driver hell) it enables me to use something that's at least a bit better than Cygwin or Git Bash or a Linux VM. But still.
And now there's this thing where I built an Ubuntu VM to test the compilation of a custom kernel from the upstream sources. Turns out that Ubuntu is more of a dependency hell than fucking NPM. Can you imagine this? It needs fucking 182 packages worth 1.6GB of storage, just to compile a motherfucking kernel. Can you believe that?
Fuck you Ubuntu, fuck you Canonical, and fuck your so-called "open source movement". You're a money-driven corporation that doesn't give 2 bits of a shit about its users, just like the rest of them. Probably it's time to migrate my servers to something better.6
I'm a python fanboy, not gonna lie.
I love everything about it. It's clean syntax, ready to use out of the box-ness, convenient built-in functions.
The one thing I hate is the official documentation. It's ugly, hard to navigate and a cluster fuck.
But it has proper information, so it's fine I guess. tsch14
There's an app in my phone that shows local train timings and stuff. One thing that fucks my mind up is, even if my WiFi is turned off, it can still detect where I'm at and if I'm at train station, it pops up a notification that this station has free/public WiFi and I can use it.
HOW THE FUCK YOU FOUND OUT ABOUT FREE WI-FI IF MY PHONE'S WI-FI IS TURNED OFF.8
It's 00:54. I'm supposed to wake up at 8.30AM. Not even tired. In front of my computer, with a frozen Visual Studio Code on the left screen and a frozen Madeon music on the right screen.
What do I do now.12
Fuck this shit, I'm done, mentally broken. I am trying to setup some basic Java project using buck. Their build times looked super promising and I wanted to migrate my multi module maven project to it.
I am currently working on it for FIVE hours now. And this fucking piece of SHIT doesn't work as I want it to. WTF FACEBOOK, IS IT SO HARD TO WRITE PROPER DOCUMENTATION THAT IS NOT OUT OF DATE?! People warned me, I ignored them. FML.
The time I used to try to get the repo working could have been used to build the project 250 times -.-3
I'm fed up with you guys ranting about what you SHOULD HAVE said, but instead just walked out, said something cowardly, or nothing at all...
For fuck sake, grow a pair and stand up for yourself! Noone else will...
I get it, this place is a nice vent, people understand, it's not face-to-face, it's easy. But the sheer number of you that had a clear chance to be grow, and ran for the door is alarming.
I also get it, it's mostly difficult to talk back to a client/boss/professor. But there's a few steps between FUCK YOUR FUCKING DIPSHIT FACE and running to the corner to post a rant here.
Find the right words. You don't have to sware, be civilized, but take a stand, present your arguments, present facts and proofs. Don't give in to their scare tactics, earn that respect you need and deserve! Then come here like a winner and share it with us.
It has become quite a tradition here to sware in all caps and then say that's what you should have said, but didn't. From now on, I'm -- these posts to give my two cents in an attempt to make this a community of winners ranting about a stupid world. Not a community of cowards ranting how world is scary.10
Stupid ass nimble fucker of an old friend talks to me for a whole week after a reunion saying stuff like "I'm glad we got to spent time together bro and stuff", the soul eater of poop being sets up a conversation over a week talking like he was a true friend. He only had to manage it for a week more, hell he had to resist his urge for a puny ass week and I would've considered that maybe good people existed. Well the universe along with this Pseudo-panty fuck decided it was time, they pitch me an "idea". Well after demonstrating kindly that I could technically pull (n) such ideas from my virtual butthole. The guy finally believes his idea was stupid and moves away. A minute later. SURPRISE MOTHER FUCKER! he says, telling me that he got an amazing idea along and if I could help him with some stuff. Well.. What? I jumped at this amazing opportunity. Not because of the dangling-dickina of an idea, because this was my way out of this misery fucks life. Alright should buy me some time right? He would go watch some tutorials, make a logo and call me when there's a problem. We'll in the milli fucking time that even a big bang couldn't have recurred, the bitch calls and says.. Bro, sorry for disturbing you, I need some help... [What did your mother from another son tell you she only gave birth to half of you?]
APPARENTLY, THE GUY JOINED FORCES WITH SOME INTELLIGENT MINDS AND SETUP A LEAGUE OF LIKE MINDED NECROPHILES AND I COULD HELP THIS DREAM TEAM with a name and a logo.
It started, I could sense it. I wasn't THE CHOSEN ONE. Tired, I said I'll see what I can do while attempting to block his number. A few hours later, he calls from another number with no shame and asks BRO? DID YOU. Did me what you bloody dick lubricator. Yeah I watched your mom a couple times, then I got bored when I found out it was an ad.
Unfortunately no I did not tell that, instead I used the kindest words I could pull out of my frustrated ass to tell him I won't do it cause I have better things to do.
The guy comes back a few hours later with an emotional back-story of how this is his way out of his sad ass life and saying stuff like sorry to disturb you bro, I never meant to.
Oh my gawd! Give this douche manufacturer an Oscar. Actually give him two!!
After this traumatic experience I often feel for such people. They have around 90 years to live. They have a free fucking brain. They have money. They have less problems.
Why can't they come up with a worthy idea with all these factors to compound the ideation process.
And why on the earth can't they make the Idea on their own. I'm completely self taught so I don't see it being a problem. I could well say that I'm more knowledgeable than a few grads out of my stupid college but I don't wanna compare myself to those stupid beings.
If you have an idea? Make it. Die for it. But never approach another being, either he eats you or you eat him.6
I hate it when people ask me questions that are easily googleable. I'm sorry but, please, don't waste both of our time on asking things like how to make a screenshot on an iPhone...
1. I have an android
2. Hey, you know this magical thing called Google?
3. You do know it? Oh my, good for you! Now try using it, thnx.
Unfortunately, I can never say this out loud. I just silently Google for them and send them a link. Perhaps, I need to grow some balls :D
Okay, never mind, said it once in a more polite form, and the dude replied with "fuck you, you female developers are such arrogant bitches", then he unmatched me. Good story, fun times.6
- Launch the new version of the system I have been refactoring for 2 years and counting, then ceremoniously burn (literally) the legacy code as well as the cluster fuck of hardware it runs on.
- Decrease my stress + bus factor by bringing another up to speed on my code & the new version (his cluster fuck now).
- Pay attention to & take better care of health, my wrists in patricular.
- Find a mentor and mentor someone else.
- Get out of crisis management mode and find the time to write tuts, experiment and live a little.
- Find & join a local dev meetup, maybe make a local dev friend.
- Book leave and actually take it, preferabbly without having to take my laptop to the beach - actually, preferabbly at least have the choice to take a offline vacation.
- Sort through the drives containing ALL the code I have ever written, migrate the usefull interesting bits to Github.
Phew, that bit of self reflection was intense! I'm adding a cron to my server to sms & email me this rant in a year to remind me what hope looks like.
I've been using keepass for everything and just recently I've just come to realization of just how hard it is to get into my accounts now that I've done this.
Literally, I'm useless if i don't have a computer to get my passwords. (I know it's for android too, but i need the database)
I was trying to log into my spotify, but I couldn't remember my password. Then I thought, oh i know i'll just log into facebook and do it that way.
LOL JK you don't know the password
Fuck... what about my email???
Seriously if i was held at gun point and told to log into anything I'd be dead. I've literally secured myself out of my own accounts...
I guess if there is any silver lining, it's that no-one, and I mean 'no-one' is getting into my accounts any time soon.10
Not a rant, just me venting.
I hate fucking Windows with and all this fucking shit with it. I'm constantly deleting stupid fuckiing games like candy crush and shit because windows installed it without my FUCKING knowledge. My laptop is fucking dying and it runs 10 times slower on FUCKING WINDOWS. Now my browsers are fucked up chrome is glitching like FUCK (my previous rant) and firefox also has some problems with text which is in fucking rectangles or invisible.
The worst part about this is that I CANT INSTALL FUCKING LINUX because apparently my laptop has ssome kind of issue with linux and it keeps freezing, no matter what distro or kernel and there isnt a fucking fix to it. Or I didn't find it and trust me I TRIED. I found out that many people with my laptop have the same issue with linux but not a single thread is solved.I found only one and I got fucking error cuz the site where it was posted is probably down. WHAT THE FUCK I JUST WANT TO DO MY THING AND BE LEFT ALONE AND NOT STRUGGLE WITH FUCKING OS FUCK THIS.
PS: YES I UPDATED ALL DRIVERS AND SHIT.12
// Tired as fuck adventures, yay
I was once coding and researching for a school project, it was around 1AM (yeah, I'm a pussy that needs to sleep at 12AM, otherwise I'm useless all the day long) and a friend was with me, he was doing another stuff.
Suddenly, out of the blue, he asks me "Hey, how much is 12 multiplied by 430?", so I say "Let me check", press Win+R, type "notepad", enter, write operation and wait looking at the screen.
"why this does not work?" I thought for some seconds until I realized I fucking typed in notepad and not in the calculator.
Just laughed my ass off and went straight to sleep. Until today, my friend thinks I'm deranged.1
Anyone else here with anxieties, depression or what-not? I feel this could get heavy, but I feel this is the only place I could write this. So...
My 18-month-long programming course is slowly coming to an end. Time has come for us to be sent out to job interviews at various companies.
Every single time an interview comes up, I feel the exact same mix of my inconfidence, constant anxiety, "I'm gonna throw up", impatience and whatever else is there in my head. I figured it would get easier with each consecutive interview but it hasn't.
The questions they ask make me sick. The atmosphere is unfathomable. Robots are more humane.
- Why do you want to work with us?
I need money for my meds and something to down them with? I willingly put myself through this shit to become a corporate slave, what else is there to say? I can only hope I'll be writing any code here.
- Where do you see yourself in 2-3 years?
Far away from anything remotely related to an HR department of any sort?
- Had you been a fruit, which one would you be? Whatever would come out of my tears blended with semen? What the fuck is even that question?
Of course those aren't my actual responses, but conjuring the IRL ones to finish the process is a serious burden. And those are only some HR ones. After this barrage of questions they want my lifeless, flaccid body to write code. I mean ok, it's a software dev gig, but I already gave all I had on self-clairvoyance.
We'll be in touch!
Is there a strategy you guys have when you go to an interview? Any tips for taming the acrid beast running around in your brain? Is it too much to talk with a human in a humane language without "15 buzzwords to make the recruiter moist"?5
As you guys may or may not know (or may or may not give a fuck), I'm currently part-time studying to get a diploma and get the fuck out of my country. Since I have to write a 40-pages long "end of study dissertation" about something we personnaly have interest in, I decided to teach myself about DevOps.
In order to prepare it, I decided to get a Raspberry Pi, install Docker and Jenkins (as a container) on it, and handle my multiples websites on it, and build a huge fucking website around which I would write my dissertation about.
But man, I'm starting to loose hope, I get to bed at 2 AM every night because I'm trying to make some basic shit work until I realize that I just CAN'T what I want because of tons of reason, so I try to lower my expectations, and it's frustrating. Yesterday, a Ruby on Rails image I created was perfectly working, tonight MySQL throws an "host not authorized for this mysql server" error, and I don't know what the fuck is happening nor if I can do anything about it.
I love teaching myself new stuff, but I have to admit, it's waaay harder than I expected2
I'm a 35 year old developer and I can't figure out how the fuck mailchimp works. It might be that the whole thing is terrible, or I may just be a complete idiot. Oh, of course the api key is under profile>extras6
YOU. If you can't be arsed to change the default wallpaper, the terminal/gtk theme on a fucking laptop you use everyday, turn off Intel graphics screen rotation shortcuts, move the taskbar somewhere, install a Vue.js/Augury (Angular tool) Chrome plugin so you can actually debug stuff, Git for Windows or even this fucking trash of a player that is VLC, comb your hair the other way for once in your fucking lifetime if you have it, buy a different shirt than the same one you already have, fucking anything at all - fuck you!
BTW Don't be surprised when I don't take your fucking advice about the layout of the site I'm working on.
Also I secretly FUCKING HATE YOU just because.
Nothing personal kiddo. Except it is.
Fucking go out there and make the world around more suited to your tastes, every fucking human has them! Just change the fucking wallpaper, so I'll know you have at least a little bit of fucking personality in you! Slap a pic of some hi-rez tits on that screen! ANYTHING AT ALL.
Whew. That's been brewing in me for a long time.
A motivational doggo for you lads.5
I hate the Windows vs Linux posts and the Windows sucks posts but god dammit...
With Windows 7 becoming older and older with less and less things supporting it (latest thing is the new Oculus Dash) I yet again decided to try out Windows 10 to see if I should finally upgrade from a reasonably stable system.
So I make a virtual machine out of my physical one and boot it up in VMWare... I upgrade to Windows 10 to check it out it's kind of janky, but I attribute the jankiness to the messiness of running my physical machine in a VM... I continue with the setup process and suddenly, I only see a black screen and a cursor...
I notice VMware is hinting at not being able to connect to the monitor... I realise that, while everything is black and I can't even open Task Manager, I can still see the Ctrl-alt-delete screen so I'm fairly certain at this point it's the VGA driver, still thinking it's probably VMware...
I boot up into safe mode and I try to open up Device manager to uninstall the driver, it won't open (no error or anything, just doesn't open)...
I try opening up devices in the settings and see that the display device is giving an error, try to uninstall it from there, but it freezes the settings app, every time..
I try to uninstall VMware tools as that's where the driver is, click on remove or uninstall whatever the button says and guess what, it freezes the settings app....
I try to open task manager to kill it and task manager is not responding...
fuck it, I'm done...1
Okay so this Is my first actual rant before its been questions or experiences but today has been really stressful. So one of my last posts I talked about how I don't know when to use what syntax whenever and I've been practicing but every fucking time I try to start something I can't fucking get it I don't even know how to start and yeah I planned it out and Im not getting anywhere I can't this is something I wanna do for the rest of my life and I can't even manage to make simple shit its like what the living fuck. Then then I tell my friend who's also in my class who programs what I'm trying to do AND HE DOES IT IN LIKE A MINUTE OR LESS AND IT WORKS AND ITS REALLY FUCKING STUPID BECAUSE I TRY AND STUDY SO HARD AND I CAN'T GET IT NO MATTER WHAT I DO I JUST CAN'T AND IT SUCKS SO FUCKING MUCH I HATE IT I JUST WANNA BE ABLE TO UNDERSTAND HOW I CAN PUT THIS WITH THIS TO DO THIS AND ITS DEPRESSING ME SO MUCH I JUST WANT TO BE GOOD5
The current project in working on. It is a complete nightmare.
It is the first large scale project that our company does. We were used to smaller projects that are basically fixed priced, and that's why my boss treated this one the same. Big, big mistake.
My CTO and another crew member gave an estimation of 8-9 months to finish this app. My boss said "eh" , and told the client we'll be ready in 5 months. What the actual fuck bro.
Because of that, we had no time for implementing tests, no time for proper QA and no time to cover edge case scenarios.
My CTO decided to go with Angular2. We hired this freelancer who supposedly knew Angular 2 but eventually did 3 weeks' work in 3 months. He got sacked and we had 2 months left for delivery. At the time, not even 20% of the app was actually ready.
Then I got into the project to replace the freewanker who got sacked.
I spent the first 2 weeks fixing the ridiculous amounts of spaghetti code and unoptimized builds he made while my CTO took care of the server side.
Now, 4 months later (7 months into the project), we still have the mobile version to work on and the desktop version isn't ready yet because we keep finding bugs BECAUSE THERE WASN'T ENOUGH FUCKING TIME FOR TESTING.
To make matters worse - my CTO got married 3 months ago and took a vacation overseas a month ago, for a full month. He's coming back next week.
So the deal is pretty much this right now -
- My boss is stressed as fuck, which means he's stressing me out and I'm really about to fucking lose it
- I'm taking care of this whole friggin' thing alone
- My boss wants me to put more hours into this, after spending 2 whole weeks (3 months ago) working 13 hours a day. I'm not going back to that situation, not a fucking chance. Not my CTO either.
- I absolutely love my boss and I understand where he's coming from, and I can't be mad at my senior because he got married (and who wouldn't want a long honeymoon?), but if this thing goes on, I'm gonna have to abandon ship. I've already had some interviews and it turns out that my years of experience are really noticeable, which feels nice.
In short - FML.
I hope my boss learns something from all of this. I'm moments away from just giving up after these last few months.
That said, I would be happy to receive some tips regarding the management of large scale projects. Whether it's pricing, estimations, QA/testing related, whatever. I welcome every little piece of advice, because I want to educate my boss if I do eventually decide to stay there.
Thanks ranters. ❤2
Fuck life today. Haven't been awake for more than 45 minutes and shit has already started to accumulate for no fucking reason. Usually after I wake up I start making food and open up videos on my Acer Chromebook r13 to pass by time while trying not to set the house on fire. Stumbled upon a h3h3 reaction video on Ajit Pai and his "7 things you can still do after net neutrality" cringe inducing video. As I'm telling my friend about it through my keyboard stops working. Ok so at this point I think I probably hit some keyboard combination to lock the keyboard out like some PCs I've used in the past have had. So I rebooted the Chromebook to clear it out and this is the fuckin message I get greeted with..
To make matters worse, my go-to 64gb flash drive also failed during a recovery drive creation process to the point where it can't be restored and WORST OF ALL MY EGGS GOT COLD ..
happy fucking birthday to me2
OMFG. Here's a self-rant for you all...
So, working on a JS library to build widgets, I five across some weird behaviour where I expect `$.ajax.apply()` to pass something to the chained `.done()` method, but it comes out differently.
Fuck. Right, time to visit StackOverflow and glean some knowledge.
I post a question, complete with examples and descriptions and a little midget unicorn in the corner for world peace.
Come back a bit later to see what's happened, and nobody understands my damn question!
So I proceed to debate a few points with some other devs, going back and forth for a while, but still nobody knows what I'm asking.
Fuck. Time for a JSFiddle...
Copy code from the jQuery docs and start modifying it to show what I was working with... Now suddenly is all working as the docs say.
So I go look back at my own code again to try work out what's actually going on.
Turns out I completely missed MY OWN CODE.
Yes, I have to admit, sometimes Linux is a F*KING B*TCH.
I was supposed to fucking format a pc for a close friend of mine, cause he produces music and win 10 fucked his machine up with its broken updates.
Knowing the guy is a talent I promised that by 7PM the pc would be fixed.
Not really, I'm feeling the stupidest guy in this fucking earth, cause I've been here for 2 hours, fucking trying to extract an ISO image, and nothing on this fucking planet seems to work.
Tried the graphical archives, none open de ISO, tried 7z, it gives me an error, tried fuseiso, which is recommended in Arch Linux' documentations. Doesn't work. Tried mount - o my file.iso /mnt and it says /mnt isn't in the fstab file which makes me even angrier cause I always mount everything there without editing shit. So I installed 7-zip for windows in wine, it extracts until 90% and freezes. Now I'm trying hsuebrirbwkwpxjhw9shrbejejwke and my mouth is foaming and my ear is bleeding my brains out and I don't need you shit.
Fuck you, Fuck your goddamn ISO and Fuck this faggot ass spell checker, that changes Fuck to duck and assign to asset.
Fuck it, I ain't gonna format anyones pm anymore.22
Finally got a new job! Outta here!
Just got out of a meeting that I drove half an hour for (that could easily have been a damn phone call), for hand off stuff with the agency my company has hired to replace me.
I've talked to their senior dev a few times in the past, and he always struck me as an arrogant asshole. I assumed this meant that he had some level of competence to justify this attitude, but evidently not. Turns out he and his employees are a bunch of fucking idiots who don't even know how to use the command line, or anything but a cms with stock themes.
I'm taking all of the specific public stuff I've done for my employer off my resume as soon as I get back, because these dudes are going to fuck it up worse than a soup sandwich.
So, for the past...what, week or so? I've been working on a side project with @gianlu. It's the PretendYoureXyzzy fork - our attempt to rejuvenate an old shitty piece of software.
I had started working on a fork alone, and then he asked to team up so I was like "Sure, I got nothing better to do." So, he's working on the backend (and hooking JS up to the backend) and I'm developing the frontend.
I don't know why I thought tech would stand still. Google says they're putting MDL on life support and replacing it with a much more complex successor, MDC. It's not hard to use, but what really bugs me is the lack of notice on getmdl.io. If you are switching to another project as your main focus, why the fuck wouldn't you advertise in the most places possible?
Granted, I don't do web design and/or development on the daily. Yes, I can do it, but I'm not always as up-to-date with web technologies as I'd like to be.
However, the screencap captured is the third time I've taken the knife to the UI. MDC is great tooling, at least to me. That dialog? Not something MDL would've had out the box on the first day. You'd have to work for that.
I don't have an issue with MDC, I have an issue with the lack of PR around it.6
I'm tired of "agile" development. Sure the concept of a hacky POC that gets thrown out for a real implemention sounds great. But it never gets thrown out. That shitty POC become the foundation for a horrible mangled mess of hacky improvement after improvement. I'm tired of my boss telling me "do it the easy quick way and fix it later", like fuck off no. I can save man weeks worth of bug hunting a year down the road by actually taking an extra day to do it right. Like fuck does no one care about quality engineering anymore?
Sometimes that extra day to write a general vs a specific implementation is worth it.5
Not particularly dev related but I do need to rant.
Parents are here to visit, it's lovely to see them. Unfortunately I have a small ass 1 bed flat because rent and house prices are stupid high where I work. I'm sleeping in the living room on an air bed, the fridge/freezer is noisy and about 3 foot from my head so I've been turning it off over night. It didn't get plugged in this morning so shit's getting thrown out. I sleep maybe 5 hours, wake up at 1 too hot, 4 too cold then mother comes in at 6 with the dogs. 3rd night of this. I've taken holiday even though I don't have much to spare because there's no way in fuck I can work feeling like this, I'm a dev and need to be able to think and do intelligent things ffs.
It's nice to see family but it's nice to have my own space too.1
I'm a web dev who decided to take a shot at mobile development (My first mobile app mind you). I'm writing a mobile app and one of it's features is communicating to my server via websockets.
So I write the code, click to send the data and my server doesn't receive it. Fuck. I check why. I log everything. Nothing.
I spend several of hours and I'm exhausted by this point so i call one of our mobile developers to help me. Turns out my emulator didn't have a WiFi module. FUCK.
Alright so I compile it to an apk and install it on my phone. I popped open a terminal and started my local node server.
I click on the mobile app...
NOTHING LOGS. FUUUUUUCK.
And this is the best part.
Apparently I deleted the console.dir call from my server that executed when it received some data from an emitter.
I only thought of this last night at 2am so I got up and checked. Yep. Kill me.1
Ok so the final projects for my Web Programming class this semester just got handed out. We are assigned into pairs, however my class has an odd number of people so I have 2 others in my group. We got assigned to make Nim with a bunch of extras tacked on since we have an extra person to work.
When I asked how we would share code someone fucking said "I can keep the code and you guys email your changes to me". Hell to the fuck no. I suggest we use git, as it'll be easier to merge changes and I know one of the other guys knows how to use it. My professor then goes "that's out of the scope of this class, don't use it". Motherfucker what? Out of the scope? I'm sorry that I want to use something that makes collaboration easy and even is a chance to teach this other guy a good skill.4
Udemy is full of crap.
I got some course that had been "discounted" from $200 (I already mentioned it is an ugly trick) and it was over in like 20 minutes. The fuck?!
All the info they gave was either common sense or something you could find on the first paragraph of the Wikipedia article on the given topic (it was a soft skills course, not a technical one).
Maybe there are some gems out there, but I'm not sure I would risk it again.
Udemy feels like the Booking.com of courses in terms of deceitful UX, but it's not nearly as useful.
Maybe you guys have found something good there that you could say is a bargain? If so, please let me know.10
I know this may not be the typical post on Devrant and it may be a little off topic, but I could really use some advice from fellow colleagues here.
The thing is, I just finished engineering school and I got my first job as a software engineer. So far so good. I've never been a natural talent in this field, and I suck at writing code. I find things like architecture, system design, innovation, requirementsspecification, management and business development much more interesting.
These past weeks as a software engineer has been really challenging for me. I seem to be totally "in over my head", and fuck everything up. I can't understand how the code I'm supposed to write works, and can't solve even the simplest of tasks that are assigned to me if they involve any implementation of code, or fiddling with Github or build servers.
Is it normal to feel like this as an engineer with zero experience? Will things get better, or should I just resign or wait to be fired?
What would a natural next step for a software engineer who'd like to move more into business and management be? A MBA? Project management courses?
I hope to get some advice from you guys. Maybe you've felt like this when you started out as well? Anyway, any constructive feedback would be really much appreciated.11
@Gerrymandered recently posted a rant, https://devrant.com/rants/1003724/..., and his reasons, which I won't really go into much, are completely legitimate.
We were talking in class and he was getting annoyed with people hating others for actually trying to defend the different flavors or Operating Systems. I've gone into it once or twice, but I feel the need to again. I'm actually going to be blunt this time, unlike my last one:
Linux has its niche. If you like it, then it usually works.
Windows has its niche. Businesses ***typically*** choose it first (with few exceptions, @linuxxx don't even bother coming in here to defend Linux. Love ya and all, but you really piss me off sometimes. Just saying.)
macOS has its niche. If you're a designer, try it. You might be surprised.
Can people shut the fuck up with the constant bashing of every single OS in existence with a focus seemingly on Windows? We get it, the dev community LOOOOOOOOOOVES to fucking hate Windows. Who doesn't? It can be broken as hell, but for a lot of purposes, it works. If I want to use Windows, then let me, and if you complain that because I'm a techie or anything that I can't use it, please go fuck yourself with a moldy rusty fork left out in a hurricane 20 years ago.
That is all.11
Fucking fuck shit monkeycocksucking gargling wtf!
I was getting some stuff done in my accounting software and it bugged me that the fields were dark and the fonts as well, thus seeing fucking shit. This was clearly a bad choice of a gtk3 dark theme, thus i switched to the fucking default adwaita, suddenly gnome session crashes.
Ok, i just log out and log back in.
Logout.... Nothing happens.... Ctrl-alt-backspace , nothing happens (and i knew i enabled that in the settings)
Ok let's do it a bit more forceful and restart the display manager... Gdm starts... I insert my credentials... It fucking crashes.
I desperately try to debug it, xsession error msg'es? Nope. Something in /var/log/messages? Nope. Something, anything at all, nope sherlock nopedinope!
About to go batshit crazy, purging and reinstalling all of gnome, thibking that, what ever setting lust have broke it, it will be fixed now.
No fucking fuck desktop!!!
I lost my nerve and replaced gdm with lightdm, and i finally, after three hours wasted on my machine, i get my gnome desktop back... But in a state of mess! Extensions don't work and make it crash again, user themes? Nope, go fuck yourself with plain default.
I'm really losing my shit, business is almost non-existant, and now ly FUCKING desktop refuses to work like i want to. Everything is fucking broken to shits !!
I'm gon a go to my gf, and relax a little, at least i still have a working laptop.
Question is, for how long???
Of course, I just swiped the wrong way on my fucking laptop trackpad and list everything I just typed. FUCKING MARVELOUS.
TL;DR: Teacher stopped me from being productive. Principal almost called cops on me. Nearly threw chair at librarian.
So I'm at school yesterday, and we have a presenter in 2nd hour, so naturally, I'm gonna be on my computer doing things for other classes at the same time. Efficiency. Teacher doesn't like it, I refuse to put the computer away telling her that I'll be more productive and still pay attention, which HAS BEEN PROVEN MIND YOU, but she ends up calling security on me and I get sent down to the principal's office.
I talk to him, and he says 'Yeah, I know it's in the way, but you have to follow the directive given by the teachers.' Fine, fuck it. Won't go to her class for third hour. (I have her twice in a row for two different classes.) Next day.
I walk in, asking her if she's gonna do the same thing she did yesterday, hoping that she realized her error and will fix it, but no. She says I STILL can't have the computer out. I'm sorry, do you not realize I have 6 other fucking classes, most of which are required to graduate, unlike YOURS, as well as a FUCKING COLLEGE CLASS TONIGHT?! She gives the ultimatum. 'Obey or leave.' Fine, I'll leave. I go to the principal's office again, he must have a stick up his ass or something today because he's not budging. We argue for a while and he gives a WORSE ultimatum: 'Obey, Go to the Library, In House Suspension, or I'll call the police.' What the actual FUCK MAN?! You're gonna call the POLICE on a NONVIOLENT STUDENT?! Are you fucking MAD? I keep trying to tell him that there's an easy solution to this, but as he's getting up to call the cops, I say 'Fine! I'll go to the library!' He follows me over to make sure I don't kill anyone on the way.
I slam the door to the library open, and when I walk in, the librarian is there at her computer, and she asks 'Where are you coming from?' 'Principal!' 'I need a pass-' 'Well, I'm sorry, I can't exactly get anything for you right now, I was just sent down here.' She says 'Either way, I need some kind of note or pas-' 'Listen, I'm not in the mood for any of this right now. Please, just leave me be.' She then tries to say something, but I cut her off quickly, 'Just back off and leave me alone right now. The more you push it, the more you're gonna make me want to throw this chair!' Imagine the volume just gradually getting louder on that last one. She quickly runs out and talks to the security desk or something, which is right outside the library door, but she's the only one who comes in, thankfully. I was expecting to be fucking dragged out for no good reason. I'm loud, not violent. I have no history of violence.
So yeah. Here I am in the school library, angrily tapping away at my keyboard, trying not to throw the entire table to the fucking moon. All because this broken-ass public school system has no idea how to deviate from the norm when it's actually productive and efficient to do so. And now, the obligatory:
FUCKING PIECES OF SHIT WHY DON'T YOU REALIZE THAT YOU ARE COMPLETELY WRONG IN EVERY SINGLE THING YOU ARE DOING YOU IDIOTIC SCUM-FILLED MEAT SACKS OF NO FORSEEABLE VALUE! FUCK!1
One of my system, which pipes around a few million mesaages per day, including encoding the fuck out of it, is keep going down. Like, I don't care about much aside from keeping myself from drowning in redoing the millions of messages retrieval from a legacy mysql DB.
Just fucking kill me already.
To top that up, I had to listen to a couple fight on my way in an almost empty bus.
To top that even upper, my lunch order was fucked around and I had to reorder about four times. Then I sat in a stupid meeting about the newbies. I fucking told the same newbies everything they've heard on that meeting on day one.
I know some of y'all have it worse, so, I'm sorry if I'm ranting about trivial matters.
Specially since today I read about some dude here whose parents fell into a horrible state as he was visiting home (both were in coma, afaik) and I'm genuinely concerned for him now. And I don't even read news because it disturbs me (Aka special snowflake) yet the idiot me, spent yesterday reading through an article about this high-end autistic kid, whose family was about to give him up to state-care because they couldn't afford to take care of him. (seriously a shit show to its literal meaning. The kid lives like prisoners. Calms himself down by shredding papers and destroying everything in sight)
Anyways, I'm depressed again! 😁😀😁2
MongoDB really needs to chill the fuck out with their email marketing, daily emails plus frequent harassment from sales reps wanting to know why I downloaded their software is getting on my tits now.
Anybody would think I'm the first person that's ever installed the bloody thing.
Whenever I add an address to spam or unsubscribe it just seems like the origin address changes, having to rely on client side filtering, yayyy7
I'm not getting that job then.
So I just had one of those interview coding tests on hacker rank and screwed it up big time.
I'm a C# guy and it was a Java position. I worked with Java, like 10 years ago, and they're pretty similar so I brushed up over the last week when I had free time.
Absolutely blew it. It's not like it was hard, I just got into one question (of 6) and it ate up all of my time. The task was simple, make a JSON call, read the data, check if you need more calls, pull out a data field from all the concatenated results and return it in a sorted list. ONE HOUR it took me. A combination of not knowing the API well enough, simple syntax errors and relatively slow compilation.
The next question was implement an Object hierarchy but since I'd run out of time, all I got was the class declarations before the timer ran out.
fuck, fuck, fuck.
I guess the test did it's job and weeded out someone who can't contribute to the team...6
This might be a long post so bear with me. I work for a company and there was a project for a huge client. I'm junior in skill (been programming for about two years) but my job title doesn't reflect that. Anyways, I got the design about a month ago but I was on deadline for two other projects so I couldn't pick it up until last week Wed. Ironically, that's when the final design was delivered & told me it was due next week Wednesday. I built it as fast as I could. Finished mobile but for some reason, this last part for desktop just wasn't working out and it just so happens to be the most crucial part of the piece. (I was also sick the entire time and didn't sleep for the last two days nor did I eat). I was supposed to demo it yesterday but I still needed to make a few updates and the project coordinator took me off the project & gave it to a dev with more experience. This has never happened to me before. I'd go as far as to say this is my first big fuck up. I've always delivered on deadline and I'm taking this pretty hard. Has anyone been in similar situations? What do I do? Any advice?1
I hate react so much. I hate it with the fiery rage of an old testament god. I tried to like it. I wanted to like it.
Unfortunately I picked up Angular (2). I'm now used to a framework that has you covered for most things. That has logical methods of laying out your app. A router that's actually built in and makes sense.
I'm used to writing HTML in the templates, not some horrible abomination of XML that's pretending to be HTML and just waiting to pull off its mask and smack you across the face with its penis while telling you what an idiot you are.
React apps all seem to be cobbled together in a different way. You have to go hunting for the logical stuff you expect to be there.
Let's not even get started on the tome of dependencies it needs to get itself off the ground, all written by vastly different developers from different planets with completely different life goals.
I hate it. The more I learn about it the more I find myself yelling "WTF!" while shaking a fist at the wall, hot tears of rage steaming down my pudgy cheeks until my wife comes running into the room and consoles me with my head on her bosom.
...and I just started a project that will have to be seen through to the end, using.. react.
Seriously, fuck you react, I hope you die of herpes.11
Sorry it's not related but I'm feeling pretty shit and this is a good place to throw it out.
My lower back hurts, the hospital thought it was kidney stones and now awaiting further testing.
Fuck sake. Just want to be able to sit down and concentrate on programming. Can't even concentrate at work, even when working from home.
Bitching over. Time to try learn decorators.7
If you wanna think that I'm a bad programmer, that's ok, but I can't put up anymore with Xcode.
Jesus Christ. An entire afternoon spent trying to make an array with two dimensions. I tried every fucking way I found in SO, in the apple site and in every another site that I found in my way.
First: For every example for Swift 3 there's another 10 for Swift <3.
Second: Mutable arrays, as I'm noticing, aren't a thing anymore, so, to declaring array size we go! Except it's impossible to. Tried 3 different ways. Not a single one worked.
Third: Actually, one of the 3 tries worked, for int arrays, and for some obscure reason it won't work for strings, as declaring the array as [String] is too general for swift, I mean, I completely agree with it, a [String] array could contain anything right???? FUCK NO. IT CONTAINS STRINGS YOU FUCKER!!!!
I swear, if the equipment was mine and not from the office, I would have thrown that piece of shit which disconnects from the fucking computer every 30 seconds that apple calls keyboard out of the window already.
Why the fuck do I need to develop for iOS in swift/xcode?? There's so many cross platform alternatives out there, good ones in fact, but no, we must build the applications natively or else the phone will catch on fire according to my boss.
I kinda liked Apple until now.
From now on? Fuck Apple.10
Today I submitted my code without making sure it doesn't have any bugs because I was running out of time. Fuck.
Let's hope I'm brilliant and this works out.1
So I'm back again with full motivation, excited to work. First I opened my IDE, second, npm install passport and then out of internet. I have reached my monthly subscription limit!
Why the fuck!!! I've been sick for a week why it didn't happened until now!
Now i have to go to my office to work. Fuck that!7
Who is the brain-damaged engineer at Samsung that decided that a capacitive touch buttons on an induktion cooktop is the way to go. As soon a waterdrop falls on any button the stove goes "FUCK IT, I'M OUT" and shut itselfs off for about 30 seconds.
How wonderful when you have 4 different pots that must have different temperatures and you must use each [+] - button sequentially because the idiot engineer was to lazy to make the input be able to handle several buttons at once!
Stupid idiot engineer and QA department!2
I started watching Silicon Valley some days back. Just finished season-1. I'm fucking sad and pissed off right now... No, don't get me wrong...Silicon Valley is good. I loved it.
Problem is, there is an Indian YouTube series called TVF Pitchers which had almost same story as silicon valley. I loved that series, when I watched it in 2015, after completing that I really was very impressive with the channel because of the originality and very off-the-track plot. Now after watching Silicon valley, I'm fucking sad... THEY JUST FUCKING COPY PASTED IT. yeah, some people with their "courtroom skills" will tell me that no it was different story... Fuck you! It was a copy and that's it. They removed Gilfoyle character and there was no product information in entire series... That was the biggest change in it. But overall it was a copy... A fucking copy.
The problem is they themselves, in their other videos, make fun of our movies/songs because of them being copied... Now, they are fucking doing it on their own.
I know it's not much related to devRant. Sorry about that.
Some times back, I joined a startup and they pitched in their idea as if they created it on their own... Later I found out that the same idea is running in a successful Palo Alto based company. And just like TVF Pitchers, they also used to make fun of an Indian e-commerce startup (a big one) because it was a copy of Amazon... THEN WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU!!!
I don't know, but for some reason I just fucking hate it. Everybody here is busy copy fucking pasting US. They laugh at others, but they are also same... I'm going through Peter Theil's Zero to One.. and the book is making much more sense to me now.7
That's it, I'm done. I'm SO. FUCKING. DONE. Whoever created such a badly monkey ass coded shit and named it "Drupal" should have been aborted with a fucking hanger.
No one was here today because they were all at a Drupal Con that I never heard of. Glad I didn't. So they told me "yeah there are one year bug to fix, if you could do them all in a one work day that'd be greaaaaat". FUCK. YOU.
This shit is slowly sucking my passion away, and while I could spend 15 hours to code per day a few months ago, now I'm stuck to debugging shit that should have work without a Drupal environment. Tomorrow I'm going to see my manager and tell him to get me the fuck out of this and make me do something that would make me enjoy living again. I can't believe I'm getting trouble for this kind of low shit stuff, really.
And it started to rain. Fuck.3
A school-related rant:
Went to my school yesterday to get my computer science degree, aaaand....
Surprise! You got a degree in Liberal Arts! Even though when you graduated, it said Computer Science and thought they already fixed the problem about me graduating with Liberal Arts instead of CS! Nope! Still Liberal Arts!
Sigh, fuck that school. I'm sure when my wife finds out about it, she'll definitely flip out and make me fix this, because she also spent time for me to finish school and get a stupid degree. I just don't wanna deal with it anymore and instead keep learning on my own, make projects, and be so good that employers can't ignore me.7
Today I solved the problem assigned to me by changing one character. Simplest fix ever. Except that this problem is not on my project, and I don't have control over this project, so I can't merge my pull request or deploy the code, and the dev that does hasn't answered email today, and he's not scheduled out, and he's not in his office. Whatever, I'm just gonna say it's fuck it Friday and call it a week.1
Do you know one major thing (among others of course) that has made devrant feel like home for me after swearing off social media for a long time?
Common ground with users dealing with absolute, insane incompetency at work (I have it real bad at my job).
This doesn't so much make me angry or frustrate me as it makes me sad.
Everyone has varying levels of intelligence in infinite disciplines. Someone could make you cry because they play violin so beautifully but they can't tell you 4 + 4 because they are completely dense, but boy are they genius with that instrument.
Everyone is GREAT at something, that's capitalism's strength! Everyone can excel! I'm lucky enough to truly in my heart believe that programming, data and game development is my true calling...and I personally think I'm amazing at it.
It breaks my heart when people fall into or pursue something that clearly they just don't have enough passion for or regardless just don't have the skill for.
They become toxic to themselves, their employees/coworkers, their industry.
Sadly, power is given to people who simply aren't capable and power is bad on so many levels (aka fucking psychopaths gaining too much power) but it's also bad when people who don't know what they're doing or care get power.
People, I implore you...the secret to happiness and fulfillment in life is finding what makes you happy and what you're passionate about and good at and gripping it until you die.
Most people don't find it....but DON'T stop looking! It took me until my 30's to figure it out. My best friend in her 20's took her life because she couldn't find purpose...don't just be an asshat, incompetent manager in an industry you don't know a fuck about. Love what you do and help others excel.
This is how I get when I'm drunk, sorry. You guys will learn, lol.2
I have to make a presentation for my school in PowerPoint, but guess what? I don't have that shit and my school doesn't give you any student accounts or activation keys. So I can either 1. Spend money just so I could make that one presentation or 2. Torrent that shit.
Listen here, school employees, you fucking pieces of shit. I will NOT spend money on that shit and I will NOT torrent it and get viruses into my lovely PC.
Some people don't have an office subscription, school. In fact, I think my school has cracked software on their computers too! I can definitely pay or torrent that but I won't, because fuck you that's why.
And I'm 100% sure that complaining would get me in trouble, because teachers are always right and students are always wrong. So far student complaints never worked out, so I won't even try complaining about this.
If you think I'm wrong please tell me why in the comments, because I would like to change my mind about this whole situation.8
Me: Put the prototype application on a VPS and tell the boss about it so he can follow development along.
I began an internship school year for the same company, continuing my previous mission. School year begin, I'm not actively working on the application.
I begin an application with a friend and we need a server so we use the same VPS. We somehow reinstall it from centos to ubuntu because he doesn't have the time to learn a new system.
I don't bother putting the company's prototype up and running back as it's not even in beta testing.
Some week passes I'm still in class and haven't got back at the company yet, and then I receive a message:
Sub-Boss: "Hey, the boss is presenting the app to the big boss, why doesn't it work ?"
Internal-me: "WHAT THE FUCK ?!?!! The big boss ?! The one who leads 160,000 employees ?!!?? Ok, I'm dead...."
Me: "Ok, I leave my class and see what I can do."
Sub-Boss: "Thanks, you have 15min."
Teacher: "Everything's fine ?"
Me: "Not at all, can I get out for 15mins ?"
I get out and open my laptop, fire up ssh.
The app is not dockerized yet, so I had to reinstall everything. I somehow managed to install nginx, node, mongodb, etc... Launch the application, open up the port for it to work, realize nginx config is wrong, correct it, git clone the client, launch the build and deploy process that, thanks God, I wrote down as a shell script;
All that under the 15mins, my brain was literally melting.
Me: "The app is up and running again."
I got back in class, and slept on my table... The teacher even asked if I was sure to come back when he saw my face.
I hate my boss.2
OK semi rant... Would like suggestions
Boss wants me to figure out someway to find the maximum load/users our servers/API/database can handle before it freezes or crashes **under normal usage**.
HOW THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO DO THAT WITH 1 PC? The question seems to me to mean how big a DDoS can it handle?
I'm not sure if this is vague requirements, don't know what they're talking about, or they think I can shit gold... for nothing... or I'm missing something (I'm thinking how many concurrent requests and a single Neville melee even with 4 CPUs)
"Oh just doing up some cloud servers"
Uh well I'm a developer, I've never used Chef or Puppet and or cloud sucks, it's like a web GUI, not only do I have to create the instances manually and would have to upload the testing programs to each manually... And set up the envs needed to run it.
Docker you say? There's no Docker here... Prebuilt VM images? Not supported.
And it's due in 2 weeks...12
I'm so pissed off at twitter REST API. On their site is a example: https://api.twitter.com/1.1/... but it doesn't work, Volley always returned 404, and guess what I tried. I changed the order of screen name and count to this: https://api.twitter.com/1.1/... and it works. I don't even. I sat there pulling my hair out for 2 hours just for this, fuck.3
Alright sit down boys this is gonna be a good tale (also a long one).
I'm currently developing a wordpress site for a Client. Everythings works well enough, I had a few "wtf is this shit" moments. Now we decided to give him access to the wp site so that he can see and change (I know, I know don't judge me pls), so I set up tunneling with ngrok, but that PIECE OF SHIT WP DIDN'T WORK ANYMORE. You asking why? Oh I'm telling you why, wp uses ONLY absolute paths. Well fuck, I ain't gonna touch that piece of shit php code, so I installed a plugin and shit was working.
In short, after a few fucking HOURS that shit finally worked. Well that would be a great fucking end for our little tale right? Yeeeeaaah no, I shit you not, it gets even better!
After a few days my client gets back at me that he can't enter fucking wp-admin to work on the text an stuff (again pls don't judge me for granting him access to the backend of wp during development). So I checked it out and that piece of shit didn't work. If anyone would happen to know why, I would be grateful bc for the love of spagetti monster I HAVE NO FUCKING CLUE!
So I said to myself well fuck this shit and put it on a webhoster. Uploaded all the files, and migrated the db. Sounds like it finally worked right? Well guess again buddy. So I needed to go to the database, updated values manually for wp to have the correct url and then still needed to force it to refresh every fucking link.
As it finally works now, this tale is also finished then and I really hope that part 2 is never ever comming!
Sorry for the (somewhat) long rant but this is some next generation bullshit.
This shit makes me fucking rage! Ok, so here it goes. I use Multiswipe (multiswipe.com) and I'm actually very happy with it. It works as advertised and doesn't crash. Then I bought a new laptop. I wiped the old one and installed multiswipe on the new one. After launching I'm greeted with the registration (I bought it) where it claims I have already registered the software on a different computer. So I reach out to the owner and ask him to help out and am told
"MultiSwipe can be installed and updated as many times as you want as long as it is in the same machine, but if you change laptops then you will need to purchase a new license, this is because MultiSwipe implements a serious of optimizations depending on your touchpad brand and model and as such it's physically linked to it."
This sounds like horseshit to me. If I download a fresh copy, wouldn't it optimize depending on the new system?
But ok. I'll purchase another one, only to be told that my e-mail address is already in use. After reaching out I am told that I HAVE TO CREATE A NEW EMAIL ADDRESS.
Jon, if you read this, I seriously love your software but what the fuck is this fuckery. Like, seriously, how god damn hard can it be to allow customers to purchase multiple licences?
I'm so angry that I'm considering pouring time into cracking it and sending him the new version with the text "nvm, got it to work."
I'm open to suggestions....4
How fucking hard is it to write simple documentation with everything you need to get something working for fucks sake. Several fucking hours of my life later and I'm still no closer to figuring out what the fuck is going on with something that should simple. FUCK!!5
Shady business practices. You see a lot of stories of people getting fucked over on here. Companies giving applicants a "coding test" to get work done for free, or guys promising to pay when the work is done(and then bailing), deserve to be thrown screaming from helicopters.
Some quick advice for people starting out:
1. If it's important, get it in writing. Promises are worth precisely dick, unless it's legally binding.
2. Exercise caution in interviews. The shadier companies know a lot of applicants are desperate, and they take advantage of that fact if they're allowed to.
Not sure if I'm rambling at this point, but fuck it. 🤣
God I'm changing to Linux , fuck windows ... It would be a perfectly fine os, but in true Microsoft fashion.... They fuck it up.
Been out of the Linux game (cept for Kali) for a while any advice? On a distro
I lost hours having to reinstall , thinking it's doing shit but in fact it's just sitting there cause there's no fucking loading bar or anything other then a spinning circle.
I can't afford to lose 10 hours of work. Which is what I've lost the past two weeks dealing with Microsoft's shit updates.14
Anyone else get super pissed when people go out of their way TO LEAN DOWN to look at your phone screen, especially when you don't want them to? I'm on devRant minding my own business, and people will FUCKING WALK OVER AND STARE AT MY SCREEN, and then will START ASKING QUESTIONS ABOUT WHAT I'M DOING, READING, WHAT WHY WHEN WHERE HOW! Why, the fuck, do people think this is ok? Then you get that one guy who decides to fucking start asking me about what I'm on as I am reading, obviously busy (what are you reading? Rant? What? Hey what is this? It must be Reddit. Reddit is better. What is on this app? This is stupid. Wait no, go back- you upvoted that? Why? So what is this again?) Or how about when you're texting or writing an important email, and someone fucking walks over and stands there and starts reading?! The hell? Am I the only one that this makes want to punch a wall (or the person)?1
Will these fucktards just FUCKING FIX EDUROAM! alright it's a WiFi network that works across the globe and there's challenges with that BUT DON'T MAKE ME HAVE TO MANUALLY RECONNECT EVERY random amount of time!!! I'll shove that fucking MSCHAPv2 down you fucking throats with that sweet sweets PEAP sauce bloody arseholes.
What do you fucking mean it works fine? NO IT BLOODY DOESN'T! Get your shit together and at least handle DHCP leases correctly and make them not expire every fucking minute!!
Also, how the flipping fuck does connecting to the eduroam VPN from within fucking eduroam make it more stable? Only ever so slightly though. Incompetent pieces of dick sucking craptards don't make me have to bring out the ethernet jack EVERY FUCKING TIME at school for christ's sake.
No, it doesn't make it my problem because I'm running Linux. Look on the Internet. The forums are fucking filled with people having issues and your docs are from 5 years ago so please kindly FUCK Off!!!15
Overengineering. Finding the right point between overdesign and no design at all. That's where fancy languages and unusual patterns being hit by real world problems, and you need to deal with all that utter mess you created being architecture astronaut. Isn't that funny how you realize that another fancy tool is fundamentally incompatible with the task you need to solve, and you realize it after a month of writing workarounds and hacks.
But on the other hand, duct tape slacking becomes a mess even quicker.
Not being able to promote projects. You may code the shit out of side project and still get zero response, absolutely no impact. That's why your side projects often becomes abandoned.
Oversleeping. You thought tomorrow was productive day, but you wake up oversleeped, your head aches, your mind is not clear and you be like "fuck that, I'm staying in bed watching memes all day". But there's job that has to be done, and that bothers you.
Writing tests. Oh, words can't describe how much I hate writing tests, any kind of. I tried testing so many times in high school, at university, even at production, but it seems like my mind is just doesn't accept it. I know that testing is fundamentally important, but my mind collapses every time I try to write a single fucking test, resulting in terrible headache. I don't know why it's like that, but it is, and I better repl the shit out of pure function than write fucking tests.
1. Trying to find a GUI for Cassandra. And there is none good-looking. And here I was thinking GUI stood for "good-looking user interface". Sigh.
Also Cassandra was the name of someone who creeped the fuck out of me, once upon a time, by being overly passionate/friendly/interested. No relevance, just that I'm ready to be creeped out by a piece of software too.
2. Installing all the basic shit takes time. Like, real time. why hasn't this shit been automated? Just add the freaking docker of your proj for me, m8.
Oh, I should check docker out in more depth too. *takes notes*
Off to install scala.
3. Spark seems interesting so far. Let's see how far I get with it.
4. Why did the day finish so early? Oh, why God, why? I still have so much to do! So much to install! 😢
Tomorrow is Monday. 😭
5. (Or 3.1) Why the fuck can't I install spark on Ubuntu like any other packages? Fucking Apache, man!
6. (or 1.1) yo guys, keep looking for projs: Make a cool Linux app as/for Cassandra workbench. Something like mysql workbench, just works with Cassandra. You can probably fit any other nosql DB in it too.3
Hey there, Eclipse on Linux. Gnome, rather. Hey buddy. We've been friends about a month now.
So why are tooltips suddenly black? Hmm? Why does the gnome-color-chooser do absolutely fucking nothing? Why are you ignoring color settings?
Why do you ignore in-app color settings? Why when I fucking wiped you and all related folders from my computer, do you, on a fresh fucking install, show me tooltips with black background and black text?
Why the fuck is this an issue? Why the fuck does reinstalling do nothing? Why do I have to fucking be a pro C coder to look in your source code and figure out the problem?
Why can't I fucking have normal tooltips in Eclipse IDE?
Why the fuck won't Netbeans import my project from eclipse? What the fuck kind of error message is "Try 'import from...'" when no such menu option exists?
It's a shit option. Fuck these stupid software bugs. Fuck them to the infernal edge of the 9th circle of hell where teddy bears bleed and cry/laughing abandoned Chucky dolls have parades around the charbroiled brain spatter of the fucking assholes who spout "well it works on my computer" and "huh, that shouldn't happen!" and "did you restart?"
Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
How the fuck is an unfixable tooltip color a thing? How is it an issue?
I picked up the fucking too-big hat of software dev to someday fix bugs and write better shit than the shit that's out there..
How the fuck am I supposed to get there with IDEs that have these unfuckable bugs
It makes my fucking brain rage and I wish a thousand mushroom clouds of agony on the unknown author of this "unreadable tooltip" bug
I'm in "too angry to give a shit" / "need to fucking finish this project ASAP I have NO fucking time to fuck around" limbo
Fucking Eclipse putrid eye-pus-gushing rotted hell-carcass of code filled with drowned rats carrying cholera fucking shit-app malaria-ridden Trump-humping manifesto of rage inducing
I was once handed a very old PHP project that I had to make some changes to. I thought it would be a piece of cake. But the moment I looked at the code, I knew it wasn't going to be easy. It was so poorly written, it took me hours to figure out what was actually going on. Now these were the times when I was already quite disturbed mentally and emotionally, and this shitty PHP code only made it worse. At one point, I was like, fuck this shit I'm gonna quit this job.
Thankfully, the client soon emailed that the requested changes weren't needed anymore.
I personally have nothing against PHP. I have created some amazing stuff with it. But it's the programmers that don't follow the best practices that piss me off. I mean, how fucking hard can it be to write clean code. You might save your time today by taking shortcuts but you'll make life hell for the people who might have to maintain your code in the future.
Snapchat is by far the worst app ever developed. I like the concept but the actual development of the app is fucking garbage. It hurts my head that they haven't given a fuck about usability, optimisation or anything for that matter considering its one of the top social media platforms. It disgusts me, though Instagram has completely ripped off Snapchat in so many ways; they've done a hell of a better job at it and if people weren't so tired to SC I'm sure it would be dead by now.
Slow UI, slow gestures, probably the highest amount of bugs and crashes, shit camera because it thinks it can do a better job than the native API at rendering, painfully slow upload, stupid "featured" stories that you cannot get rid off and slow the fuck out of the app, battery drain even worse than FB, oh and not to forget that once you accidentally enable your location it's impossible to switch it off, the best you can do is hide it from everyone. I can probably go on and on with the endless issues this shit has.3
I'm so PISSED OFF because of all the problem fixing I do. Most of the time, I take tutorials which have 6 steps a and 10 lines of code plus some config, and ALWAYS there is a problem somewhere, where it hasn't been covered in the guide. WHAT THE FLAMING FUCK? I literally spend days after days to figure out, that it's a problem with mostly one file/value, and no goddamn guide ever mentions the dependencies, if you don't have the defaults set for somewhat reason. And it's like this with every motherfucking tutorial I do to implement something, and most of the time I do understand what I'm doing, but THAT ONE VALUE/TRICK/FILE/SETTING/XML TAG/CODE TO A NUCLEAR SILO IS NEVER MENTIONED, WHY?!?!5
I really need to get out of this clusterfuck of a mess I got into, A.K.A. our website projects. Now, it feels more and more like all these problems and issues we're having are all my fault.
Here's the thing: I had 0 experience on web development before I got this job. I started as an intern, expecting to learn all the right practices and techniques on building websites. Nope. What happened was I was thrown in this big project, responsible for almost every functionality that it was supposed to have.
A junior-level guy. Doing a huge project on his own. Hell, I'm probably even lower than a junior. But here I am, pigeonholed in this shittard. My boss even said to me, "you know more about the website than I do." Fucking hell. He's not even aware of the clusterfucks I've done on the codebase because, fuck, what did I know? I don't even get feedbacks about my code. I don't fucking know if I'm doing all of these shit right. I don't know if this function is supposed to be here, or if it's supposed to behave that way, and, shit, the concept of test-driven development is probably something my boss has never heard of before.
So right now, I'm a bit obsessed with web development best practices, and how to write clean, maintainable code. I would probably get more learning from going to meetups than I will ever have from this place.
This has been a very shitty start of my career. I hope a much better learning experience will be plentiful at my next job (if anyone's willing to hire me). It would be like starting all over again. Sorry for the long post. I would like to put this as a blog post, but it's probably not a good idea, specially since I'm looking for a new job. Thank God for devRant.2
So I have a pet peeve to talk about here, I'm excited for the Atari box as I have some inside information that is officially confirmed about it (unfortunately am not allowed to talk about it :-C) and I see people out there saying it is "an underpowered Linux steam machine)...
How the fuck are people coming to this conclusion when the specs, OS or anything technical about it haven't even been released yet?!
Why must people immediately assume that because it's not a standard windows PC it must be a piece of shit?
Boggles my mind that so many people can be so defensive and go on the offence without knowing anything.
Just so I can clarify, I'm a console gamer, Linux lover yet still develop for windows and the like so this isn't a biased rant and I know people will look at this, see the word Linux and go on the attack... So... Just... Chill?4
I remissness about Yahoo site builder and talk about finding the record of the Google search that changed my life a long time ago and I think it's fucking great.
Earlier I re-installed google chrome but unlike every other time, this time I forgot to turn off the auto-sync feature. I only realized this when I opened gmail and it pre-populated my login info with the info of my very first, long forgotten gmail account.
So naturally I went exploring... after going through the mails I decided to check out the actual Google account to see if there was anything of interest there and lo and behold I found around 7 years of browsing history that I had no idea Google stored at the time.
As scary as it was to see I'm kinda glad about it now because aside from finding out that I was going through an Asian porn phase in 2008 I also found the one Google search record that changed my life.
It was a search to download Yahoo site builder followed by a bunch more on how to use it.
I had stumbled across a random article about it and it caught my eye because I needed a website for the grocery store I was a manager of back then.
Thankfully it was a fucking horrible WYSIWYG editor. I recall it acting almost identical to Word at the time - I would save and back up my site constantly because moving something 1px would fuck the layout up and burn everything to the ground, cntrl+z would try and do something, reversing only my last action while leaving the rest of the site in tatters and I didn't have the skills to understand or fix it...
Ultimately my frustration led me learn a bit of html & css and a week or so later It became apparent it would be easier to scratch code the damn thing so I uninstalled Yahoo site builder and started all over again.
Learning & building that site in notepad ignited my passion for coding and less than a year later I left my shitty dead end job to join a brand new tech company created with the help of a like minded investor officially employed as a developer. Let help you understand just how big this achievement was for me - I had been trying to find a job, ANY job in I.T even at a call center level without success for 6 years because I dropped out of school.
In 6 years as an active job seeker I only received one phone call about a job opportunity which ended very quickly once they realised they had misread my CV. In all those years I never even got a single job interview.
After that I spent the next 3 years rolling out and improving the cloud based loyalty card system I had written for my store out on a national scale and the rest is history. Since then I have never been judged by a crappy piece of paper, hated my job or struggled to find a new one.
What a beautiful search result that was to find.
I dedicate this rant to Yahoo, with my sincere gratitude for making a shitty WYSIWYG editor that was so bad it pissed me off enough to make me actually learn something.3
Okay, so yesterday was crazy. So crazy, in fact, that I'm not even typing this on my phone. I'm typing it on an LG G4.
So, I took an Uber out to a Sprint store I'd been told did repairs. My phone's vibrator was broken. So, basically I thought just like that R&M episode "20 minutes adventure in and out" - only to find out they'd need to wipe my goddamn phone, and then send it to Texas. I now have to wait 6 days for my phone lmfao.
So, in the meantime, they took an hour to get me this G4 which makes me miss all the finer things in life - I miss my USB-C and not having to give a damn about how I plug it in and I miss my fingerprint reader (I know, I'm a lazy fuck with first-world problems. I don't care to hear about how fucking stupid I am for either of those thoughts, STFU). Also the G4 is prone to hardware failures, so they said they weren't too happy about giving me this, but it's the only one with NFC.
So in the middle of setup, the Sprint store's power went out. FUUUUUUCK. The phone was pretty much at 5% battery and was being slow as hell, so you can just about imagine the irritation me and this guy had when the phone died in the middle of setup.
The next thing is an unrelated story, but I'm sure some of you older guys here will love this. I was at a place called Triangle Park last night. I go there for burgers, but they also have a bar. Sometimes I get sent to the bar and the bartender gets me my food. So last night I went to pick the food up from the bar for takeout.
The bartender must've had an accident and messed something up, so she told me to sit at the bar. I thought it was obvious I was only 19, so I barely sat. I'm literally not old enough to sit at the bar, even though when I was younger my dad and his friends used to let me sit with them because I had a history of saying stupid shit that made his friends laugh. Nonetheless, I sat with my ass hanging off the edge because I knew it was wrong :/
She comes back and asks what type of drink I want. I had to tell her that I was 19. I wasn't gonna sit here and lie because I'm pretty sure she could've lost her job for serving a minor. I exited and waited in the lobby.
But are we at the point where 19-year-olds look like 25-year-olds? I don't want to think about this because it means I'm getting older. That's a lot to take in. Later in the night it was still gnawing at my gut.
Yesterday was one hella day man.5
tldr; XKB needs to fuck off and die in a hole full of shit and rusty spikes
- "I think I'll learn some German this evening"
- "Oh, better switch keyboard layout"
- "Ugh, need to set up layout switching on my desktop. Meh, how hard can it be?"
And so began my quest for a ridiculous number of keyboard layouts...
For a start, alt doesn't work properly so I can't access dead keys for accents. There's an option for that, nice! Progress! This won't take long! 😀
Ooh, I can switch layouts with scroll lock too... Enable that... Finally, a use for scroll lock! I'm practically done! 😂
setxkbmap lets you specify multiple layouts, comma separated. This is easy! 🤣
setxkbmap us,gb,epo,es,fr,de,ru dvp,,,,bepo,neo,
(Yes, I like my weird layouts... Deal with it)
Right, that was easy, let's try it out.
*Random keyboard spam*
Wait. No French? 😶
I know I added it. Also no German or Russian... Curious.
Oh, so it only takes the first 4. What the fuck?
"Ancient protocol blah blah maximum 4 layouts blah blah..."
Well fuck you too XKB. Fuck you in your outdated face with a dead sharpened squirrel. Go suck a FAT floppy disk. I hope you choke on it. Maybe when you're dead, we can make something that comes from the century we're in, and actually bloody works.
I ended up hacking a workaround in to my i3 config. Super+Fn keys to change language.
I spent too fucking long on this. I'm going to sleep. XKB, you ruined my plans; I will end you.
... Or maybe I'll just learn some more German tomorrow and forget this ever happened.5
People ask me why I prefer Windows: decided to install Mint, it crashed upon choosing a timezone. Had to not set a timezone to move past that bug. Then the install hangs. Turns out I should've edited the grub boot settings because I'm using an nvidia GPU. What the actual fuck? How is anyone supposed to know that?17
All the time i wonder why on earth people put up with this framework hell. This is part serious question and part rant but seriously, how did we come to this? With all that jQuery, React, Node, whatever stuff i'm kinda losing the overview over what's even todays standard. I always try to keep my code as vanilla as possible without using external libraries. But it seems the entire web development industry is heading the completly other way. I tried to look into a few frameworks but i never really see the appeal. Just now i looked up react native because the last 20 rants talked about it and immediately noped out because they fucking create a DOM in js, why the fuck would you do this?!
Worst thing about this framework shithole is that some frameworks are beeing pulled into the mix for very weird and unnecessary reasons. Best example is a charts library i recently used to visualize a database of temperatures that was completely written in native js but pulled jQuery in for the equivalent of window.addEventListener('load',function(stuff)) and i was furious. I rewrote the code and could throw out the jQuery dependency with no problem. What the fuck is wrong with people?
Alright since you made it here: I'm not trying to throw any of you under the bus for using frameworks. I just fail to understand why you would use these. To each their own and unless your site has the performance of the ticketing system i use at work that takes like 15 seconds to load one fucking page i won't complain at all. But pull in a framework just to do a task you can easily do in native js in remotely the same timeframe you are on my list.2
Project leader did no work on our project (mainly due to not knowing how to do it), so he dealt with the problem by asking me to explain the entire infrastructure and setup to him five minutes before our call with the Director where he attempted to state all the things that "we" had done.
After his spiel of detail-less crap I explained exactly what was going on, and how I had done it, and the Director seemed far more interested to speak to me.
I'm an intern and the PL has been there full-time for over a year.
I said "I think that meeting went pretty well! He seems happy" after the call and was totally ignored 😂
Intern 1 - 0 Lazy, patronising, rude full-time employee.
TL;DR: If you do fuck all, let the person speak who knows the project inside-out; don't try and get in there first or the hard worker will then go into way more detail than you under to prove their worthiness!1
When the monthly scrum retrospective reaches the 90 minute mark...
You know when people are being stress tested and they break by getting up, run around screaming and ultimately knock themselves unconscious by running into a wall?
That. I felt like doing that.
I swear someone activates some sort of gravity well when these meetings begin because time beings to stretch on and o........n....... while they meetings happen.
I began to list things I think I'd rather be doing than be in that meeting.
1) Tax returns.
2) Prostate exam (not old enough to need one yet but at least I'd be out the meeting).
3) Visiting the dentist.
4) Assembling IKEA furniture.
5) Watching soccer at least they have the decency to give you a break in the middle and I find sports as engaging as a dog turd on the sidewalk.
So bored was I that I began to notice notches and holes in the ceiling tiles and when I remarked upon them others became engrossed in them and began to speculate upon their origins.
I don't know who a speaker is, what department they are from, what product they're working on or what's so important about the algorithm they're working on. There is no context, no explanation and half way through a show and tell I had to check we were still in a show and tell.
I was bored shitless. I actually felt physical pain from boredom, I've not felt that way since I was a child.
I really, really hate that scrum is implemented in this way.
It left me with only half an hour of coding time left and really it sapped my energy and motivation to the point where I just went home early.
Excuse my language, but:
Fucking bloody cunting waste of time, I've had more productive moments in the restroom. They need to piss off or committed seppuku, ideally both. Dante got it wrong the seventh level of hell is this. I'm usually a very calm and balanced individual but yesterday, yesterday I just... Fuck! Argh! Fuck you meeting, fuck you.
If you are the type that schedules meetings like this:
May a thousand Jabberwockies plague your nightmares and be it that the next seventy seven times you lay with a human shall ye experience bitter failure! I hope Cthulhu himself visits his "enlightenment" upon you and you fear sleep henceforth.
I'm bringing a rubix cube or juggling balls into the next meeting so that I can say at least I learned something and it wasn't time wasted.3
3 months project:
- deadline changed to 2 months
- specs delayed by 1 month
Now a 1 month project...
Started one month earlier so I could achieve something...
Now, 23 days to deadline: here, take this 20 page PDF with 200 questions ( witch can be drastically reduced) to make the new form section (2nd section out of 6).
Me: OK, but it could be nice to have everything at once so I could design it accordingly , I can see questions here that are repetitive , it would spare me a lot of work if I could see the big picture.
she: Just put those (200 f#cking questions) on and show me so I can see if its good and deliver the rest based on it.
OK, fuck it I'm just let hibernate create all the fucking tables and I figured out where to get all the questions she wants anyway... there are 7 categories with repeated questions...(about 150)...
Just wonder what's so hard to do her job... she had 3 months to do it and I only have 1...
My family literally knows nothing about development, programming, computer science. It's bad. The closest anyone in my family has come to understanding is a distant cousin, who is an IT lead in Healthcare. His mother told him to call me because some fucking piece of shit at his job purposefully mucked up an internal ASP.net app on his way out. Sure, I had nothing better to do than to phone debug your shitty app with zero context. Great.
My wife is the one who comes closest to understanding in my immediate family* but even she admits when I come home ranting that she has absolutely zero idea what I'm saying.
It great though because I get to use her as a living rubber duck that just stares at me with a blank expression. Then at the end of describing a complex problem I'm trying to sort out she just replies with some encouraging thing like, "I'm certain you'll figure it out."
Fuck this is a long rant. Sorry. I better get back to work.
TL;DR I fucked up my life with a D in APUSH
Alright so I'm a sophomore in high school and I really really like programming. Like really. Maybe a little too much.
Cuz I spend all my time on it and while that's gotten me a 102% in AP Computer Science, my other classes aren't looking so good.
Now I'm in all the AP classes I could take, besides English cuz I hate that shit. And I learned something new this year: I also hate AP US History
And with how it all turned out, I failed my second quarter of APUSH. Fuck. Luckily I had a B first quarter so I ended up with a D. Still not great.
Still got like a 3.9 GPA but I think that's weighted.
Anyhow, how bad did I fuck up and how can I overcome my strange addiction? Thanks for listening, if anyone did1
I have so much work to get done I don't even know where to start anymore. I've got 6 sites in development, 20 sites with continuing maintenance, and I'm in charge of everything IT in my office.
Today I asked if the other developer on our team could help out and take a few maintenance clients off my hands so I could work on getting builds done.
We called a team meeting where I explained my workload and pointed out that in order to make the deadline of next week on two of these builds our other developer is going to have to help out with some of the work on my plate.
Other dev: Well I've already got 3 sites that still need maintenance this month and I'm still working on $client site.
Me: Ok well today is only the 3rd so you have all month to do the maintenance on those sites, these two have to be online next week and I still have 100 hours of work to do between the two of them.
Me to CTO: can I get some backup here? Or can we hire me a monkey (my term for interns) for a couple weeks so I can focus on building?
CTO: We'll have to talk about that at our meeting next week. In the mean time, just do what you can to get the sites done and let me know if you think we aren't going to make the deadlines.
Me: That's what this conversation is, I'm telling you now, and I've been telling you