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Search - "lax"
It's the biggest satisfaction to know that Wix means wank in German!
"why not do it yourself" just adds to it.6
You realize that you are a developer when you can't stop thinking about a bug that has been messing your code.
Every job description out there:
" JUNIOR XY position.
Requirements: 50 years experience of Assembly, Java and Masonry, HTML, cloud based computing and artificial intelligence. Must be able to write algorithms like Hummingbird. Fluent in English, Mandarin and Latin. Must have five doctor and two Bachelor degrees. Experience in leading a Fortune 500 company benefitial.
Renumeration: 5 rice grains"6
Some motherfucker at the gym called me. “Hey @growling, I am here with that gym you signed up with 5 months ago and your card for membership renewal isn’t working.”
“Yes sir. It’s 8am.”
“Don’t you think it’s a bit too early?”
“Did you get a new card?”
“Hey call me at lunch or something, I’m going back to sleep.”
“Okay, or you can call me. Goodbye”
Acting like you got better shit to do with your time.
Like he wanted to lecture me and say waking me up at 8am is fine. Like he wanted to say he came from a hardworking family and so he can say waking me up at 8am is fine. Shiiit dude my mom used to work with two broken hips for 7 days a week until I made six figures. Bless her heart, that’s why I got her a new car and money each month to pay all her bills. She’s been out of work for 2-3 years now. So lecture me. Only my mom can lecture me, boy. Cause she raised me to be an engineer.
Also, why do I see this everywhere as well? I get lectured for drinking beer on a Sunday or Monday during lunch at my frequent visits to liquor store.
“Don’t you have work?”
Yes, 9-5. But I’m an engineer. So it can be 10-6 or 11-7. Doesn’t matter. All of the stuff I do follows sprints and not direct interaction with customers!
I get tasks done and I teach interns to help me get tasks done. In time. And sometimes even more.
I know my schedule is so lax you want to criticize me. Maybe you think I don’t work? Or work as hard as you?
Tl;dr I intentionally act like a spoiled baby when it comes to work so that service/retail/manual labor people lecture me so I can tell them that we work differently than what they’re used to.
I have free snacks. Don’t get me started about gloating about free beef jerky. People hate me on online forums for doing that! Drink beer on tap in work kitchen. A glass of wine anytime I want. Sleep in until sometimes 11am. But that’s why I’m an engineer, buddy.2
Windows: Replace HDD with higher capacity.
MacBook Air: Start using SD card slot as external storage.10
DevRant makes me really proud how well developers can act together as a group. Makes me think what we could accomplish if we would take all the world's developers and programmers to one place and make our own country. Our currency will be devCoin. World domination follows shortly afterwards14
That moment when you're finally getting your user registration and login system up and running!
As a web dev student I feel like I have accomplished something :)10
How my lecturer drilled JS syntax into us:
var x = document.element;
x.value = 10;
Instead of this:
document.element.value = 10;
"You make the cake in the kitchen, you don't put icing on it on your way to present the cake"4
Had my pure PHP web app rejected on a market platform because I didn't use a framework..
BITCH IT WORKS PERFECTLY WITHOUT A FUCKING FRAMEWORK, IF YOU WOULD HAVE TESTED IT YOU WOULD HAVE SEEN THAT!23
I feel terrible making $3,634/year at my current job in Nigeria with all my skills and experience.
I've applied for jobs in Germany and had a couple of interviews but they fell through.
It's difficult been a software engineer in Nigeria. 😔20
Started part time job at a company, had to log my time on timesheets. Said fuck this and now the whole company logs their hours on a custom web based time logging system which I built.5
Last night I had a panic attack and woke up in cold sweats because in the dream I had I was constantly using the wrong variables in the wrong places...
I was just wondering guys. If all developers speak English.
By speak English I mean easily able to communicate at a basic level because from what I know... all programming language had their base vocabulary in English language.
Secretly installed Automate app on my friend's Android phone to mess with him. (For those who don't know, with Automate you can automate anything on an Android device).
Made a 'flow' that would read his incoming sms's, and send an email to me with his exact location if I sent him an SMS saying 'where are you?'.
Was funny to mess with him and tell him his exact location even though we were miles apart.
Cleared it up for him a while later but it made me feel like #hackerman8
Trying to get part time or remote mobile app development job in Milan.
Somehow got a job interview for a company based in USA for remote work. Cleared 3 rounds, got the final contract. For the final assessment, had to make changes in their existing project. Didn't get proper answer to my queries on time. Submitted results as per understanding. Got a rejection mail rn.
It was going on for 3 weeks and all my hopes were based on that.
Feeling Fcuked up.
Step 1: install my c++ library from www.scammysite.be
Step 2: extract the zip and open scammyexe.exe
Step 3: ....
Step 304: do three backflips
Step 404: it should now be installed on your machine
Step 1: sudo apt-get install coolsoftware
Analog mail still works!
Stickers finally arrived! Thanks @dfox and @trogus for this amazing community !1
The sorting button on devRant's feed page is just Gilfoyle's tattoo twice, once upside down like Dinesh says.3
that BS thing you do when your too lazy to code and just copied a code from an existing class and renamed the vars even if it does not work or not being used just to show your boss that your working hard as f*2
Me and the lead developer of my team gave a long and detailed explanation to our manager entailing the current state of a budge program our workplace uses.
This app has been bugging him for a while, he did not write it and has not been given an opportunity to rewrite the damned thing. Its a really...really messy application, and whilst it is a functional one it most certainly is NOT an efficient one since adding or moving things only incites more spaghetti mess.
We were laughing while giving our report, but both of us were crying inside. The main thing is, we both love PHP and the things he has built are very well structured and efficient, he has good technique, but will admit at certain caveats regarding the way he structures his dbs stating that he always has to do changes, which hey, its the nature of the beast, dbs change all the time. But our issue with php is the same: it lets beginners write monstruosities that are harder to do in other environments.
It really is a permissive language. But I reckon thay such lax nature is better left at the hands of the more experieced developers that know what they are doing.
Either way, we will restructure this motherfucker taking advantage of the new standards (which both of us are well versed in) and applying a more structured approach with a nice frontend interface (we be looking at Vue.js and React although we are considering Angular as well)
Gon be some good times.
4am writing an assignment about the ethics of anonymity tools (TOR, VPNs, brown bags to put on your head)
I love the subject – I picked it – but these written assignments for peripheral classes are the most soul sucking part of studying software engineering2
I think I may be someone's wk101soon given how things are going for me.
So I get shipped over to the new offices to do some work. Initially, I was supposed to be updating SQL stored procedures.
That I can handle, well my task is now to build the skeleton project for a web API in core 2.0 using domain driven design and onion architecture which the rest of the team will use.
Okay, I don't have any experience in any of that at all. And god bless the team lead explaining some stuff to me. But it's going to take more than a 20-minute chat here and there for this stuff to sink in.
And being told just to build it how you think it should be isn't great advice when I'm trying to figure out how the systems work.
Every other API project I look at is structured completely different from one another so looking for patterns has failed.
I'm fucking stressed out every bit of information I'm getting on whats potentially happening with my job im getting second hand from people. Because I can't access my emails while off-site something I'm repeatedly flagging.
Every job advert is painstakingly making it clear how out of date my skill set is (or lack of). Evidently, I've been way too lax, and this has been a kick in the bollocks I'm not likely to forget.
If we're being evaluated on performance to see who they'll keep, then I've failed at the first hurdle.
Life lesson for those in education, don't be this knob head here and get comfortable when you land a job. Just knowing about the tech that's commonly used in your field does jack all study it.
Not a structured/meaningful rant and shits probably not as bad as I see it. I've only chewed through one fingernail after all.1
The awkward moment when you name your dictionary "dic" and realize that while explaining a piece of code to a female colleague. 😳1
I'm dreaming of a web language that is as close to the English language as possible.
nav bar with 5 links
slider with 3 images that runs automatically
Section with 3 images next to each other
Paragraph with first word in red
Footer with menu and sign up form
This would be the shit!6
Just wanted to add my two cents about the GDPR: while i sympathize with those that need to make their company comply (it can be really tough and complicated to both convince the guys upstairs and implementing everything) i have to say that as a simple end-user it really is an amazing acheivement in transparency and honesty :D its amazing to able to see what services really collect about you, and to have a clear way to opr out of things if need be :) the document seems very well researched from what little i read, and i think the gdpr it sends a very positive message about committing to transparency and protection of users rights to othe countrirs that are very known for very lax regulation *cough* Us *cough*.
Im interested in seeing how this whole thing pans out, best of luck to everyone out there dealing with this!1
So I've been studying masters in business analytics and big data. So far it's been 2 months and I don't have a clear picture about what big data actually is.
I guess that's normal and no cause of concern right guys ?