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Search - "job descriptions"
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- That I never programmed anything "big" or useful.
- that I didn't have a developer job or internship (I am a university student).
- reading job descriptions and seeing the qualifications they ask for.
😫😫5 -
We had a manager that blind-sided the entire Team. During annual reviews, he gave everyone on the Team an unsatisfactory/not meeting expectations. Why? Because rather than rating us on the work we were being assigned, he rated us against what our job descriptions said, but you can't do work you don't have. Not once, during any of our monthly one on one reviews did he tell any of us that we weren't meeting standards. No one on the Team got a pay raise that year. But, karma. Several month later, the company decided to do a 360, which is where we get to rate our manager anonymously. We're still here; he's gone.4
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Looking for jobs..
Position: Junior Java Developer
Requiements: Minimum 3 years experience with JEE, Applikations-Server, Persistenz, Open Source Frameworks, Web Services
Honey, trust me, if I had 3 years experience I wouldn't be applying to junior positions.
Job descriptions like this make me so MAD!5 -
IMO, salary range must be mentioned with job descriptions!
A candidate investing so much time & efforts to pass through the entire interview process only to know that their compensation will be lesser than what they're currently paid is very frustrating.11 -
"Wanted: Dangerous PHP Developer"
I edit on live during peak hours with no backups using basic Notepad over an unencrypted network. That dangerous enough?4 -
Someone asked me what a full stack dev is... I replied:
"A highly sought after programmer with the world of opportunities and no time to pursue them."
I think I nailed it.3 -
Alright, I'm getting tired of reading job applications that have roles described as:
"Seeking unicorn"
"Seeking heroes"
"Seeking alien"
What the fuck.16 -
Hey fam, first post in devrant!
Possible client comes up to me and asks me what my mockup for his app looks like. I show it to him on running on my Android device.
Him: where are all the images and descriptions/info?
Me: you didn't give me any. I just made what it could look like if we had images and descriptions.
Him: well talk to some people in the departments and put it in.
Me: but that's not my job. You wanted me to make what it could look like if we actually went through with this project.
Him: okay. How hard would it be to make it for Apple?
Noooooooooo... I'm out.8 -
Upwork Job post:
I want a small website where you can post product images with title, price and descriptions. It should have a search functionality like amazon. The users must be able to add products it in their cart, post reviews and buy from there. I want it to integrate with PayPal and other payment methods. And yes, i want to be able to write blog post too.
Budget; $50
XD6 -
Why do job descriptions for ONE developer position, list down ALL the known programming languages, all the web technologies and frameworks available? From java kotlin swift php js jquery node to ionic angular laravel python and what not. Wtf? And this is not one, this is about 70 percent of the job descriptions I see these days!!5
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Software developer job descriptions really annoy me, they are all the exact same with all the same buzz words throughout >:(.2
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Reasons why I hate the hospital I work for...
1. NO fucking budget, for fuck sakes our telecom system is still running Merlin Magix. (I’ve been working on getting the trunk and everything to at least push FreePBX out... Configuration configuration.) but, that requires a decent server to host said system... But guess what? We’ve still got a few servers online that are running server 2012 r2. NO FUCKING BUDGET.
2. Training. They don’t have the budget to send me to training, but the doctors here are rolling in Mercedes... Must be fucking nice.
3. I have 5 f-I-v-e job descriptions. I’m a bio medical technician, network admin, system admin, programmer, and help desk... I fucked up allowing them to know I program.
4. On call 365 days a year. That’s nice and all, but when I’ve got shit to do and the nearest Walmart is an hour away I don’t want a call from Louis “oh the printer has a jam” FUCK OFF LOUIS! Get the paper out, we’ve been over this, I believe in you!
5. Some of the FUCKING (l)users.... You wouldn’t imagine some of the calls I receive, some of my favorite being late late “Hey *anonyops* I know it’s late but we’re needing a chair moved from one room to the other.” FUCK YOU YOU CHEEKY FUCKING CUNT.
The only reason I’m still here is my direct supervisor and a hand full of people that I’ve grown to love. Also, because any computer related job here is either outsourced or filled by a YouTubing god. - reason 1 why I started my own business. Supply and demand.
Rural Kansas Hospitals = shit, inb4 thanks —insert president to blame—20 -
7 page resume
13 jobs, some only lasting 3 months
TONS of grammatical and spelling errors.
Descriptions of each job has several lines just saying he "created functions; interfaces; abstract classes; classes".... For a jr/senior level developer job? Why are we interviewing him?8 -
Why do recruiters say you need 5 years of experience for a certain framework when the framework was released 2 fucking years ago. Don't they consult with engineers what they want or do they just think of a random fucking number and write it down. And why do they think the OOPs concepts are totally different for all programming languages?? Also the job descriptions are usually very vague and ambiguous.
JD for SDET: you will work with engineers and help build scalable solutions bla bla
JD for SDE: you will work to build scalable solutions bla bla
Is this deliberately done so that a poor candidate wastes his or her time applying for a wrong position or even giving an interview??4 -
If this isn't reality, I don't know what is. I don't read job descriptions today the same way I did 27 years ago.3
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I just saw this job opening for visual artists (not me at all, but still curious what kind of person they are looking for).
https://artstation.com/jobs/J1OY/
It's so detailed, a person applying would immediately know what is expected of them and what their role will be. Why isnt this like this for most programming jobs?
Example of programming job opening descriptions:
Knowledge of a backend language (ex: python, java, C++)
Experience with databases
Experience with making and using APIs
This does not in any way describe what I will do at all. (yes this is a copy of most useful information of a job offer I recently got). It does not state which language to work with (I know none of the listed ones, but I do know PHP, C# and javascript/typescript (yes I know) for backend languages.
What kind of database experience? I have worked as supermarket employee and when I had to order new things I had to use a application to update the database. (Ive done more, but who does not have experience with any kind of database in any way)
TL;DR The artist job opening description is so well described. Why isnt it that way for programmers more often -
Fuck all these companies!! Every time I'm looking for jobs in my area all job descriptions only make me realize that I won't fit these environments and I'm better off starting my own business but I can't think of anything useful to do ... FUCK!!8
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Today, I looked at my company’s job description of my own profile.
Shit is full of buzzwords.
Wonder if that’s the case everywhere. Gives me some confidence to just apply to jobs without worrying about ticking all the points in the descriptions.
(For those wondering whether I did not see the description while applying for my current job.. actually, I saw it but didn’t take it too seriously because I just wanted to get a dev job.)3 -
Job descriptions be like-
looking for an engineer between the age of 21-26 having 30 years of experience. 😂😂😂1 -
Job descriptions are only accurate for about a few months after that its the wild west whatever they want you to do.5
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TL;DR
I signed in at a few sites like freelancer.com , you did it you understand this nightmarish post.
for every fucking job, there was a full team of fucking lowcostshitters that took it for 0,50 $ . When I say this number, I mean it literally.
Translations
Data Entry
Ios app
Android app
Java
Python
Websites
Games
Scripts
System Manager
DB creation
Porting
...
And if you think this was the only nightmarish thing, you have to check the jobs descriptions and their spec.
You'll loose your sleep for sure.2 -
It's been a while DevRant!
Straight back into it with a rant that no doubt many of us have experienced.
I've been in my current job for a year and a half & accepted the role on lower pay than I normally would as it's in my home town, and jobs in development are scarce.
My background is in Full Stack Development & have a wealth of AWS experience, secure SaaS stacks etc.
My current role is a PHP Systems Developer, a step down from a senior role I was in, but a much bigger company, closer to home, with seemingly a lot more career progression.
My job role/descriptions states the following as desired:
PHP, T-SQL, MySQL, HTML, CSS, JavaScript, Jquery, XML
I am also well versed in various JS frameworks, PHP Frameworks, JAVA, C# as well as other things such as:
Xamarin, Unity3D, Vue, React, Ionic, S3, Cognito, ECS, EBS, EC2, RDS, DynamoDB etc etc.
A couple of months in, I took on all of the external web sites/apps, which historically sit with our Marketing department.
This was all over the place, and I brought it into some sort of control. The previous marketing developer hadn't left and AWS access key, so our GitLabs instance was buggered... that's one example of many many many that I had to work out and piece together, above and beyond my job role.
Done with a smile.
Did a handover to the new Marketing Dev, who still avoid certain work, meaning it gets put onto me. I have had a many a conversation with my line manager about how this is above and beyond what I was hired for and he agrees.
For the last 9 months, I have been working on a JAVA application with ML on the back end, completely separate from what the colleagues in my team do daily (tickets, reports, BI, MI etc.) and in a multi-threaded languages doing much more complicated work.
This is a prototype, been in development for 2 years before I go my hands on it. I needed to redo the entire UI, as well as add in soo many new features it was untrue (in 2 years there was no proper requirements gathering).
I was tasked initially with optimising the original code which utilised a single model & controller :o then after the first discussion with the product owner, it was clear they wanted a lot more features adding in, and that no requirement gathering had every been done effectively.
Throughout the last 9 month, arbitrary deadlines have been set, and I have pulled out all the stops, often doing work in my own time without compensation to meet deadlines set by our director (who is under the C-Suite, CEO, CTO etc.)
During this time, it became apparent that they want to take this product to market, and make it as a SaaS solution, so, given my experience, I was excited for this, and have developed quite a robust but high level view of the infrastructure we need, the Lambda / serverless functions/services we would want to set up, how we would use an API gateway and Cognito with custom claims etc etc etc.
Tomorrow, I go to London to speak with a major cloud company (one of the big ones) to discuss potential approaches & ways to stream the data we require etc.
I love this type of work, however, it is 100% so far above my current job role, and the current level (junior/mid level PHP dev at best) of pay we are given is no where near suitable for what I am doing, and have been doing for all this time, proven, consistent work.
Every conversation I have had with my line manager he tells me how I'm his best employee and how he doesn't want to lose me, and how I am worth the pay rise, (carrot dangling maybe?).
Generally I do believe him, as I too have lived in the culture of this company and there is ALOT of technical debt. Especially so with our Director who has no technical background at all.
Appraisal/review time comes around, I put in a request for a pay rise, along with market rates, lots of details, rates sources from multiple places.
As well that, I also had a job offer, and I rejected it despite it being on a lot more money for the same role as my job description (I rejected due to certain things that didn't sit well with me during the interview).
I used this in my review, and stated I had already rejected it as this is where I want to be, but wanted to use this offer as part of my research for market rates for the role I am employed to do, not the one I am doing.
My pay rise, which was only a small one really (5k, we bring in millions) to bring me in line with what is more suitable for my skills in the job I was employed to do alone.
This was rejected due to a period of sickness, despite, having made up ALL that time without compensation as mentioned.
I'm now unsure what to do, as this was rejected by my director, after my line manager agreed it, before it got to the COO etc.
Even though he sits behind me, sees all the work I put in, creates the arbitrary deadlines that I do work without compensation for, because I was sick, I'm not allowed a pay rise (doctors notes etc supplied).
What would you do in this situation?4 -
Tired of recruiters sending copy pasted job descriptions on linkedin. Asked them in my summary to use some specified word if they actually read my profile1
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I’ve been self-employed for the past three years. Though I did spend my first year out of college working for a three person, now-defunct startup, I’ve never had a typical 9-5 (or more like 10-8 nowadays) and to be honest, never really wanted one. Lara Schenck, LLC is a profitable business, and every day I do work that is enjoyable and challenging. I make my own hours, take vacations when I want to, and run everything on my terms.
While that’s all awesome, what you don’t get from working independently is the team experience. I base my work on teaching technical literacy to non-technical designers and content producers so that they can better communicate with developers. The theory is that if a designer understands why it’s a bad idea to request 18 fonts, and if content producers know why it’s not trivial to edit the titles of a set of related posts, life will be easier for everyone. At least that’s my theory, and the assumption on which I’ve developed my business.
Lately though, in a bout of the good ‘ol impostor syndrome, I’ve been feeling like, wait, how can I be telling people how to work on teams if I’ve never really worked on one? I’ve always been the ‘Lead UI/UX/Visual/Web/Front-end Designer-person-thing’, and have never worked for a larger company with separate teams for product, UX, marketing, content, frontend, backend, etc.
So I felt the urge to look for a job, and a seemingly perfect one fell into my lap. It was for an awesome company, and it sounded right up my alley skill-wise. The title was ‘UX Engineer/Interaction Designer’. I usually balk at the the term “engineer” (perhaps for good reason) but considering the presence of “designer” and the nature of the job post, I wasn’t too bothered.9 -
I'm a dev lead. I'm trying to consolidate a squad. There's a senior in it preaching the dream of career climbing and LinkedIn optimization.
Now all interns want to switch squads. I'm all for personal growth... but now everyone wants to be everything at once and productivity stalled. The job descriptions for our squad were perfectly clear, there's tons of different tech stacks... We can build a lot of cool things in this scope, and now no one can see them because Data Science or Data Engineering or Front-end is suddenly sparkling.
I'm tired.3 -
I actually do have something to rant about!
The people I've decided to work with... are complete and utter fools. They don't want to keep updated with new practices and merely talk about awesome stuff... Let me elaborate.
The first person is someone I spent really many hours just writing with, I've helped him build on his personal project, which has now become our project (which I've done most of the work on now). He keeps writing about things that aren't fucking relevant for the current task - furthermore, he completely refuses to use any type of collaboration software in order to keep an eye on tasks we want to, and already have completed. He likes Git but doesn't provide helpful git messages, sometimes even stuff like 'forgot this'.. never any freaking description of what's actually been done! Not even after agreeing it should be done, he just doesn't understand what a helpful message is apparently.
I might be a bit special regarding wanting to follow practices, but how the fuck do you make any amount of money by being so ignorant!? He was a WP 'developer' a while ago, and has since changed to JS and are using a framework which he doesn't understand - he can't even remember what the documentation states.
So why do I 'work' with him? He knows a lot of phrases he's read in books, blogs, and the likes. That makes him really inspirational and positive and he really wants to become successful(like me!). But over the last few months, I've realized how bad he is at programming - he doesn't know basic programming concepts and have a hard time applying any sort of knowledge to his programming. If it's not pre-built, he can't use it, not even if the documentation has specific examples. He barely grasps the concept of binding data to a variable. He wouldn't know how to access it again though, it's just for the sake of binding it to some existing functionality.
The other guy really likes his old style. He hired me to maintain some application. Which has turned out to be a hell of several small tasks he needs to be finished or reworked - with no clear definition of the task. Most of the time, he'll do some initial changes, show the changes to me, vaguely explain what they do (not what he's trying to achieve) and first THEN ask me to do these changes, most often in some files that don't exist (he uses the wrong filenames so I have to guess/ask where the changes need to be made).
To top it all off, old syntax is used and don't get me started on the spaces+tabs for indenting lines... Because I've already added a great ESLint+Prettier conf and everything should be nicely formatted according to pre-defined rules.
But he won't take the time to install some plugins in his editor and I'm left with sometimes buggy, badly formatted code (the code I have to make changes with!) - that's while he several times have agreed that I can do what I want and that he even questions his own ways when looking at my changes which he calls by-the-book.
So why the motherfucking fuck do I keep working with him?
Well, he keeps paying so that's really nice - I haven't been able to properly execute the bigger tasks(which pays more) though, due to a lack of information or some badly written code I couldn't quite figure out how works (at a glance).
He also keeps talking about these new projects he wants to make.. he even has these freaking papers with descriptions and data-structures and we converse really good about these new awesome projects. He also likes cryptocurrencies(which is an interest of mine he has inflamed quite a bit) and lastly, he seems like a genuinely nice guy who I'd like to spend some time with even besides coding and work.
So now I stand here - stuck with people that make me feel like a demi-god or something because I use a git style-guide and ESLint+Prettier with the Airbnb style-guide.
What should I do? I'd really like some remote work and have a desperate need for money... So much so, that I might even have to pick up a fulltime job, in order to save my sorry ass - all because I like speaking with people who just like the thought of programming...
I'm actually quite lonely with my thoughts and they are the two only people I've had some sort of relationship with - who has an invested interest in programming/dev... I really like that, despite having to follow their thoughts as they surely can't follow mine.
Please be my friend or give me some paid work lol.
Also, I've been moving the last couple weeks - those weeks has been the most stressful of my life and have not contributed to my overall wellbeing and relations with people... It's good to be back at the computer again and be reading some devRant though!1 -
Is it bad that even though I am doing computer science in college I still feel like I am missing a lot of knowledge? Like I’ll come out of college without knowing things that people with information technology will know or things that people with computer engineering will know.
I feel like all the job descriptions out there want me to be a combination of CS, IT and CE.2 -
guide to make successful software house company for future me:
1.find shortest domain name with code / star / best / it / super / ai / - whatever banger word you find
2. parse companies work board / linkedin jobs
3. parse people profiles
4. setup email server and create fake linkedin profiles that match jobs and candidates so company looks big
5. fake c-level management so company looks big
6. spam likes and create posts generated by ai from multiple profiles
7. spam invitations to people that match job descriptions and to people working within companies posting jobs
8. offer fake candidates that match job description
9. find real but less promising candidates and offer them the job
10. tell that fake candidate is no longer available but you have someone better
success6 -
If you don’t like to deal with lots of idiots and assholes before you find some decent project and coworkers.
If you don’t mind that half of people you work with have ‘God complex’ and other half want to tell you that it’s easy.
If you got yourself prepared that lots of managers will try to fuck you and treat you like shit in front of your coworkers.
Lots of things that you write would end up in trash cause of wrongly defined requirements.
There is high chance that at the end you will write some excel glue code.
If you are not naive materialistic bitch or you have not strong will to change jobs and don’t give a fuck about past until you find a dream company everyone is writing about in HR job descriptions.
Good Luck.2 -
When you read a job description that references a skill set and Hans Reiser in a cringeworthy manner -
" - Experience with Go/Python/C
- Is merciless like Hans Reiser
"1 -
Best:
Seeing ALL the members of my team finally coming into their own. One person tackled our entire not-at-all-simple CI/CD setup from scratch knowing nothing about any of it and, while not without bumps in the road, did an excellent job overall (and then did the same for some other projects since he found himself being the SME). Two of my more junior people took on some difficult tasks that required them to design and build some tricky features from the ground-up, rather than me giving them a ton of guidance, design and even a start on the basic code early on (I just gave them some general descriptions of what I was looking for and then let them run with it). Again, not without some hiccups, but they ultimately delivered and learned a lot in the process and, I think, gained a new sense of self-confidence, which to me is the real win. And my other person handled some tricky high-level stuff that got him deep in the weeds of all the corporate procedures I'd normally shield them all from and did very well with it (and like the other person, wound up being an SME and doing it for some other projects after that). It took a while to get here, but I finally feel like I don't need to do all the really difficult stuff myself, I can count on them now, and they, I think, no longer feel like they're in over their heads if I throw something difficult at them.
Worst:
A few critical bugs slipped into production this year, with a few requiring some after-hours heroics to deal with (and, unfortunately, due to the timing, it all fell on me). Of course, that just tells us that next year we really need to focus on more robust automated testing (though, in reality, at least one of the issues almost certainly would not - COULD NOT - have been caught before-hand anyway, and that's probably true for more than just one of them). We had avoided major issues the previous three years we've been live, so this was unusual. Then again, it's in a way a symptom of success because with more users and more usage, both of which exploded this year, typically does come more issues discovered, so I guess it tempers the bad just a little bit.2 -
On all job descriptions there seem to be so many requirements. Do you really have to know everything in order to get the job?2
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Fuck ticketing systems man.. jumped from a good job that i previously thought was going to be a deadend and jobhopped to a new one with a significant salary increase. Problem is that The stress levels increased 5x, and there’s significant rush to complete tasks that have sub optimal descriptions to put it nicely. The problem with that is that the lead doesn’t have enough time to properly write them and catching him during work hours for him to explain them is sometimes impossible. Sitting in limbo with 4-5 tickets open, all of them with high priority and stresing the fuck out.7
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For everybody who's had to start job hunting for their first real programming job, I have a few questions.
Is starting to apply for jobs 4-5 months ahead a good idea or is it better to wait it out with a 2-3 month time frame? I'm graduating in June 2019.
Is it better to apply for jobs with a search field of "junior developer" or to be more specific like "Jr Java web dev/Jr node.js"?
I know a lot of job descriptions are just company wishlists and not real indicators of skill. I have enough job experience to know how that part of the world works.
My aim is to try for Chicago(go Cubs) or New England, maybe Boston or NYC. I'd say I have a better shot with Chicago being just a 4 hour drive from home base. But, you never know. This is my first real shot at a job in this field so I'm trying to keep my expectations in check.
Hopefully I can get something to work before rumblings of the 2020 election start in my home state. 🙄2 -
Just got a connection request from coworker in LinkedIn. Looked at his job descriptions and for his current role, it's seriously inflated.
I mean he's a decent dev but he's taking too much credit...
My guess is he's gonna be the next to resign...
So either this team will sink and get dissolved and I get reassigned... Or I need to find a new role ASAP when I get back -
String s = "Rant";
boolean b = true;
if (s != b) {
System.out.println ("Sometimes i hate LinkedIn, so many recruiters or companies have meaningless descriptions.. why should i even apply for a job, if they don't describe their offers, specs and so on"
}4 -
So...about companies having way to big expectations on their job ads descriptions: Me being the new guy in all of this, of course I'm looking for more informations on the field everywhere. One day I came across a video on youtube posted by Eli the Computer Guy, and he was describing (caricaturing) this exact problem. You should look it up.
I'm not sure if he himself is a valuable source/resource of knowledge, but it did help me to understand this problem to some extent.
Hope it helps you too.6 -
I'm graduating soon from a college, and tbh I only had internships in web development. I really want to land a job when graduate next summer... But it doesn't seem I match any of the job descriptions, the skills the companies want. I don't know what's the next step, should I find a low skill cap job and teach myself the languages in the part-time? what did you do to land a software engineer job when you first graduated?3
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==rant
Cleaning up others mess is not a responsibility stated in the job descriptions of software engineers but they end up doing it every other day!2